Not As We Planned

Tash Gershfield & Carly Harris

New episodes every Thursday, with exclusive bonus episodes every Monday on Patreon.

Welcome to Not As We Planned, the honest podcast about relationships, dating, marriage, divorce and motherhood, and all the things no one really talks about.

From becoming a mum and navigating divorce, to rebuilding life as a single mum and dating again in your 30s, we’re sharing the real, messy and unexpected sides of it all.

Life doesn’t always go to plan, and neither do relationships. This is a space for open conversations, shared experiences and saying the things most people avoid.

If you have a question or want to share your story, email us at notasweplannedpodcast@gmail.com

Join Our Community

Get our weekly BONUS episode:

https://patreon.com/c/NotAsWePlanned

Follow the Podcast:

@notasweplanned_podcast

Tash:

@tash_blake_ivy

Carly:

@iamcarlyharris

Get the Planner:

https://notasweplanned.shop

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Subscribe Listen in podnod RSS feed Show website

146 episodes
Updated Wednesday
Explicit

Episodes146

Newest first

Apr 24, 2025 · 38 min
86. Catfish and Chlamydia
We discuss how Staying for the kids and for financial stability doesn’t need to be a thing, finally getting that lightbulb moment and filling for divorce, and how a cheeky bit of milk can go a long way! Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Apr 17, 2025 · 39 min
85. Things Just Got Juicy
Finally getting confirmation that your cheating suspicions were correct, being the new partner and having to deal with an uncomfortable coparenting relationship, and being torn whether to leave my partner although there’s been no pinnacle event! Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Apr 10, 2025 · 36 min
84. How To Text a Guy
We discuss how it’s sometimes better raising a child on your own than allowing a toxic parent to be a part of their life, realising you’re not yet ready to date yet and never settling for someone who isn’t willing to put in the work! Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Apr 3, 2025 · 40 min
83. He Had a Whole Other Family
We talk about how you shouldn’t blame yourself for him cheating, finding out he had a whole other family, we see the definition of bread crumbing and for the first time we feel uncomfortable to give advice….. Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 27, 2025 · 40 min
82. My Gut Told Me To Look At His Phone
We discuss the danger of staying in a relationship just because there’s no infidelity, when you catch your husband cheating on you, and wanting some reassurance from us about making that decision to leave! Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 20, 2025 · 42 min
81. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
We talk about the difference between mums and dads and how men get praised for doing the bare minimum, getting told your marriage is over with a letter left in the kitchen and we give advice about that first break up after divorce Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 13, 2025 · 47 min
80. Are They Swingers?
We discuss the clues of trying to spot a swinger, finding out your friend was having an affair with your husband and realising it’s time to call it a day with your cheating partner! Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 6, 2025 · 39 min
79. Something Is Wrong With Me
We both deeply reflect on our previous relationships after divorce and how we came to accept they weren’t right for us, and we also discuss why it’s important to know as single mums what we offer to the table, knowing our kids are not bagge but a privilege! Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 27, 2025 · 41 min
78. His Accountant Sent Him Vagina Pictures
Finding out your husband is having a fling with his accountant! Having to come clean to your ex about your secret new partner and learning to finally DO THE WORK! Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 20, 2025 · 42 min
77. Me and My Boyfriend Broke Up
Carly opens up about her break up, we explain how to move forward and let go of feeling attached to your ex, and managing someone with an addiction. Link to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shop Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 13, 2025 · 36 min
76. Are We Dating The Same Guy?
Carly shares an emotional update, we hear from the woman who cheated, we get a lovely update from a listener and the dreading question of are we dating the same guy? Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 6, 2025 · 40 min
75. Get the F*ck Out
Would you go back to a relationship where there’s no trust? Learning to set boundaries when coparenting, how to help your children handle big emotions about your divorce and finding pills for herpes. Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 30, 2025 · 40 min
74. He Was Messaging Other Girls On OnlyFans
We talk about managing your kids emotions and feelings after a break up, having to watch an affair unfold in front of your eyes and catching your partner on ONLY FANS! Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 23, 2025 · 50 min
73. He Has 6 Girlfriends
Trigger Warning: Rape When a man gets caught with 6 girlfriends, hitting rock bottom after finding out about your husbands infidelity and trying to work out if you’re the toxic one! Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 16, 2025 · 46 min
72. He Cheated On Me With My Midwife
We dive into the daily mundane life with young kids and how that can impact your relationship with your partner negatively, but how it can be improved. When you take him back time and time again, and you want our advice if he deserves one more chance?? And finding out your partner cheated on you with your midwife! Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 9, 2025 · 41 min
71. We May Be The Villain But They Are The Clowns
Tash shares a big update in her relationship, we are hit with a dilemma when you find out your partner cheated on you 2 years ago at the beginning of your relationship, a thank you from a grateful follower for repairing her marriage and realising you chose the wrong man to have a baby with! Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 2, 2025 · 43 min
70. If She Asks, Say I Was With You!
Happy new year you to all our amazing listeners! We kick off our first episode of 2025 seeing cracks beginning to show in a new relationship and if someone can really put on a front for a year? Going through a breakup after divorce and wondering how to trust again and it’s time to write down that one goal for 2025!! Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 19, 2024 · 49 min
69. He’s Unstable
Our last episode of 2024, we discuss our 2025 goals, we get a final update from the fuck buddy situationship, knowing you should run a mile but can’t seem to stop and finding out your husband is gay. Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 12, 2024 · 38 min
68. And People Say Men Can’t Multitask
When you find a new partner but you’re missing the bad boy, a segment of women in male fields, struggling to let go of your abusive ex and we finish with a gorgeous happy ending after a narcissistic relationship. Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 5, 2024 · 40 min
67. He Would Shag His Mum If He Could
When your partner just ups and leaves for no reason, talking about how divorce doesn’t fuck up the kids, when he leaves you for his ex and hearing from a man who wants our advice on coparenting Producer: @TristanHehir City Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.