Not As We Planned

Tash Gershfield & Carly Harris

New episodes every Thursday, with exclusive bonus episodes every Monday on Patreon.

Welcome to Not As We Planned, the honest podcast about relationships, dating, marriage, divorce and motherhood, and all the things no one really talks about.

From becoming a mum and navigating divorce, to rebuilding life as a single mum and dating again in your 30s, we’re sharing the real, messy and unexpected sides of it all.

Life doesn’t always go to plan, and neither do relationships. This is a space for open conversations, shared experiences and saying the things most people avoid.

If you have a question or want to share your story, email us at notasweplannedpodcast@gmail.com

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https://patreon.com/c/NotAsWePlanned

Follow the Podcast:

@notasweplanned_podcast

Tash:

@tash_blake_ivy

Carly:

@iamcarlyharris

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https://notasweplanned.shop

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146 episodes
Updated Wednesday
Explicit

Episodes146

Newest first

Wednesday · 36 min
My Husband Is The Perfect Dad… So Why Do I Think He’s Cheating?
A listener tells us about the growing feeling she can’t ignore… her husband seems like the perfect dad, but she’s convinced something isn’t right. Is she overthinking it, or are the signs pointing to something more? We unpack the story, share our honest advice, and discuss whether trust your instincts or give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Plus, we help a listener improve their dating profile, chat about modern dating, and answer more of your relationship dilemmas and listener stories. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship, doubted your instincts, or wondered if you’re seeing red flags that everyone else is missing, this episode is for you. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 22 · 41 min
I Finally Left My Toxic Relationship… So Why Do I Miss Him?
You finally leave the relationship everyone told you was toxic… so why do you still miss it? This week, we unpack a listener’s confession about leaving a toxic partner only to find herself missing the chaos she fought so hard to escape. We discuss why healthy relationships can sometimes feel “boring,” the psychology behind toxic attraction, and whether it’s possible to break the cycle for good. We also dive into another heartbreaking listener story about infidelity in the workplace, share our thoughts on modern dating, and catch up on everything that’s been happening in our own lives. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 15 · 1 hr 14 min
Why So Many Boys Are Struggling Today & What Parents Can Do with Raising Boys 2 Men
Boys today are facing challenges that previous generations never had to navigate, but are we raising them in the right way? This week, we’re joined by Raising Boys 2 Men for an honest conversation about why so many boys are struggling, the impact of modern parenting, social media, positive male role models, and what parents can do to raise confident, emotionally resilient young men. We also discuss the mistakes we see too often, the conversations families avoid, and why the way we support boys today will shape the men they become tomorrow. Whether you’re raising sons, working with young people, or simply want to better understand the challenges boys face today, this is a conversation every parent should hear. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 8 · 43 min
My Best Friend Lied To Me For 10 Years…
What would you do if you found out your best friend had been lying to you for over a decade? In this episode, we unpack one listener’s shocking story, review another dating profile, help a man navigating struggles in his marriage, and talk about the common mistake people make by confusing emotional unavailability with chemistry. If you’ve ever questioned your relationships or your dating choices, this one’s for you. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 1 · 51 min
He Faked Cancer While I Was Pregnant
She thought she’d finally found her happy ending. After blending their families and welcoming a new baby together, everything seemed perfect… until she discovered the man she loved had been living a shocking double life. This week, we read one of the most unbelievable stories we’ve ever received, hear from a listener trapped in a controlling relationship after 12 years together, and discuss why your gut instinct is often trying to protect you long before your mind catches up. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 24 · 37 min
He Ghosted Me For 5 Weeks… Then Came Back Like Nothing Happened
He disappeared without a word for five weeks… then came back expecting another chance. This week, Carly opens up about the emotional reality of co-parenting, we help a listener decide whether she’s holding on to someone’s potential instead of who they really are, hear from a woman who discovered her partner’s affair while she was eight months pregnant, and ask one very satisfying question… what happens when your cheating ex gets cheated on? Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 17 · 39 min
My Husband’s Entire Life Was A Lie
A listener discovers that her husband’s entire life was a lie. After 14 years together, two children and what seemed like the perfect marriage, one tiny clue unravels everything. We also hear about a disastrous date involving a murder trial, review another Hinge profile, and help a listener decide whether to break no contact with the woman he can’t stop thinking about. Get tickets for our tour: https://www.aegpresents.co.uk/event/not-as-we-planned Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 10 · 44 min
He Didn’t Forget My Birthday, He Ignored It
Tash opens up about her kids being around her boyfriend, the Snapchat message that wasn’t meant to be sent, when a break can help your relationship and the breadcrumbs that keep you there for too long Get tickets for our tour: https://www.aegpresents.co.uk/event/not-as-we-planned/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 3 · 38 min
He Left Me For a Man
Carly opens up about her grief, a story that will remind you that kids really do absorb the environment they are in and after 20 years together he left his wife for a man. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 27 · 47 min
Omg That’s NEW Information…I’m Terrified!!
You share the sluttiest things you’ve ever done, we give feedback on the first Hinge profile you’ve sent in, the separation after 20 years and the long-term emotional affair found out on Snapchat! Get tickets for our tour: https://www.aegpresents.co.uk/event/not-as-we-planned/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 21 · 50 min
I'm Always The One That's Left
We hear about a relationship where HE never wants to have sex, how drugs and alchohol ruined a relationship and wondering why you're always the one who's dumped. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 13 · 44 min
I Trusted Him 100% Until I Checked His Phone
We discuss our most toxic traits in a relationship, when you get warned about your partner on your wedding day and when we discuss that two happy homes is better than one unhappy home! Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 6 · 50 min
How Many Red Flags Did I Ignore?
We discuss your pettiest reasons you stopped seeing someone, we hear about the suspicions of someone who thinks her partner may be sleeping with her former best friend and ignoring TOO many red flags. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
April 29 · 40 min
I Was Ghosted 5 Years Into Our Relationship | Not As We Planned Podcast
We go down memory lane with all our previous relationships, you share the BRUTAL ways you were dumped, changing the way we date with the 3 men dating approach and when your partner decides he no longer wants a baby… but you’re now pregnant Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
April 22 · 53 min
I Found Out He's Been In Prison | Not As We Planned Podcast
This week, we discuss feeling like you have hit rock bottom, we have a look at the calibre of the dating pool and hear a story about a man whose little lies were just the tip of the iceberg. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
April 15 · 46 min
Turning Pain Into Power | Not As We Planned Podcast
When you think you need the concrete evidence but what you know is enough, when the man you thought was perfect turned out to be your biggest lesson, and questioning whether to continue the relationship or end it before you commit for life. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
April 8 · 40 min
I Can't Stop Comparing Myself to His Ex | Not As We Planned Podcast
This episode discusses worrying about your boyfriend’s ex moving back into town, feeling on edge around a suspicious colleague who's just disappeared into thin air, and dealing with fears about your partner’s connection with his children’s mum. We also hear a powerful story of a woman who’s been through hell and come out stronger. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
April 1 · 39 min
My Ex is my Guilty Pleasure | Not As We Planned Podcast
Tash shares her news which is life changing, when you have an affair with your ex and you’re not sure what to do, when going no contact is the only way, and when your boyfriend has been hiding a whole other life for over 2 years! Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
March 26 · 42 min
Should I Have an Affair? | Not As We Planned Podcast
Carly shares a deeply emotional update while trying to hold everything together. We hear from a woman in a sexless marriage considering an affair with her boss, a chaotic dating story involving a back-door escape, and a shocking discovery that points to a partner cheating. Plus, a powerful anonymous confession from a mum who admits she’s been gaslighting her own son. Please vote for us as Podcast of the Year! https://tinyurl.com/3n4xnt3h You don't need to choose something for every category to submit! Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
March 19 · 1 hr 16 min
Colin @loudsingledad: Our First Male Guest! A Man’s Perspective on Separation, Coparenting & Dating! | Not As We Planned Podcast
Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon: Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.