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Health & FitnessMental Health

UNDERSTANDABLE

Robert Siegers

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others.
Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions.
I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

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  • 27 episodes
  • a few times a week
  • Avg 26 min
  • English

Episodes 27

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  • July 15 · 33 min

    Healed Avoidant Explains When Avoidants Always Come Back (Actual Timeline)

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain WHEN different types of avoidants come back. ► Links and Resources: What Makes Avoidants Come Back Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WViklne-zM8&t=119s&pp=0gcJCUELAYcqIYzv Limerence Video: https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A?si=IiO-D4TOXO82kucM The Neuroscience Behind Why They Pull Away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5K9dbfp84 Dismissive vs Fearful Avoidant Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gouD0FnR6qE&t=4s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 When Avoidants Return 02:04 Group 1: Regulating Avoidants Timeline 11:35 Group 2: Ambivalent Avoidants Timeline 23:19 Group 3: Loving Avoidants Timeline 28:38 Final Message and Reflection ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  • July 10 · 23 min

    Healed Avoidant Explains How a Secure Person Handles an Avoidant Pulling Away

    ► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I talk about how a secure person handles an avoidant pulling away. ► Links and Resources: Relational Needs & Standards Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHOxRnU4pEU&t=3s The 3 Types of Avoidants (Why They Come Back) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WViklne-zM8&t=961s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Overview 02:20 Typical Avoidant Dating Scenario 03:20 Why Avoidants Pull Away 08:00 Major Difference Between Secure & Avoidant Person 12:00 How a Secure Person Handles an Avoidant Pulling Away 20:30 Was It Your Fault? ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  • July 9 · 20 min

    Why Most Avoidants Come Back After No Contact (Healed Avoidant Explains How to React)

    ► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Here's why most avoidants come back after no contact and how to respond to their comeback ► Links and Resources: No Contact Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9xqR6zfBIk&t=13s Rebound Relationship Video: https://youtu.be/QrhTOoAai_M?si=G8Z4AcXbOLvsXePk ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to No Contact 02:03 What Is No Contact 03:55 Why Avoidants Return 09:11 Your Growth During Separation 13:19 How to React When They Come Back 17:14 Assessing True Change 20:04 Final Thoughts ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  • July 8 · 30 min

    Actual Avoidant: This Happens When You Stop Chasing An Avoidant

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Today I share with you what happens if you actually stop chasing an avoidant. ► Links and Resources: The Psychology of an Avoidant Man During No Contact Video: https://youtu.be/690-YYeWwVY Rebound Relationship Video: https://youtu.be/QrhTOoAai_M ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:45 Type 1: Unaware Avoidants 06:47 Reaction to Stopping the Chase 14:03 Type 2: Healing Avoidants 16:58 The Magic of Space 24:12 Is It Worth Chasing? 27:15 The 110% Commitment Rule ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  • July 5 · 45 min

    Healed Avoidant Explains the Avoidant Ick (Flaw Zoom)

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Today I try to break down the Avoidant Ick (Flaw Zoom). I also explain the link between the flaw zoom, high standards and why avoidants lose feelings. ► Links and Resources: Why Avoidants Have No Clue What They Need Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoerBrHSdUI ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Understanding Avoidant Ick 04:55 The Flaw Zoom Mechanism 13:44 The Three-Level Filter 16:45 Two Protection System Types 22:14 Societal Influence on Attraction 31:14 Five Pillars of Relational Needs 37:23 Love Versus Compatibility 40:43 Defining Your Standards ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  • July 3 · 35 min

    How a Secure Person Responds To Breadcrumbing (From a Recovered Avoidant)

    ► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this one I share how a secure person responds to breadcrumbing. ► Links and Resources: Avoidant Breadcrumbing Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVoakqE9UXg&pp=0gcJCUwLAYcqIYzv ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:24 What is Breadcrumbing? 05:58 The Psychology of Breadcrumbing 07:45 Insecure vs. Secure Responses to Breadcrumbing 14:21 Story: When I Was Chasing Crumbs 25:20 Why We Can't Stop Chasing Crumbs 30:56 How to Stop Chasing Breadcrumbs ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  • July 1 · 31 min

    Avoidant Breadcrumbing: Ex-Avoidant Explains What It Really Means

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Today I share with you what avoidant breadcrumbing really means and why avoidants practice it. ► Links and Resources: Avoidant vs Narcissist Video: https://youtu.be/uADzIhUsuKc ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Understanding Avoidant Breadcrumbing 01:33 Identifying Breadcrumbing Patterns 05:38 The Avoidant Psyche (Filling the Void) 08:43 The Need for Validation 14:11 3 Types of Breadcrumbs 19:40 3 Breadcrumbing Tests 26:00 Solutions for Breadcrumbing ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

Showing 21–27 of 27 episodes