Buddhism

The Road Home with Ethan Nichtern

Ep. 183 - Conscious Parents, Conscious Daughters, Conscious Sons with Dr. Shefali

On the latest episode of The Road Home podcast, I am joined by bestselling author, clinical psychologist and Buddhist meditator Dr. Shefali. Her work combines Western psychology with Eastern wisdom, and explores the challenges facing both parents and children (and the inner child in all of us) from a crucial perspective of authenticity and presence. This week she simultaneously released not one but two new books at once: Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons. We discussed working with fear, insecurity, perfectionism, aggression, and the longing to connect with others. We also discussed screens! Of course we discussed what to do about our kids—and our own—screens. Have a listen. (Last year, with your subscriptions via substack, we were able to release more episodes than any previous year. This was only possible with your support. Please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber here.) Paid subscribers to The Road Home will receive occasional extras like guided meditations, extra podcast episodes and more! The Thursday Meditation Group happens each week at 8am ET on Thursdays, and guided audio meditations are released monthly. Another bonus podcast for paid subscribers discussed the obstacle of resistance to meditation practice, and Ethan also offered instruction in Metta meditation toward yourself. These are all available to paid subscribers. You can also subscribe to The Road Home podcast wherever you get your pods (Apple, Ethan's Website, etc). Dr. Shefali is a clinical psychologist, a New York Times bestselling author, and the founder of the Conscious Parenting movement, redefining how families understand selfhood, connection, and the inner life of children. She works where psychology meets consciousness, tracing the hidden forces that shape identity, relationships, and the way weinhabit the world. Trained at Columbia University, she has spent decades guiding families to move beyond patterns of control and fear toward presence and authenticity. Her work brings Western psychology and Eastern wisdom into lived practice, creating a path for children—and the adults who raise them—to know themselves fully. This week she simultaneously released two new books at once: Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons. (This and all episodes available wherever you get your "pods," Apple, Ethan's Website, Substack and every other pod place). More cool resources: Check out our sponsor platform, A Mindful World! Thinking of joining us for the Yearlong Buddhist Studies program next year? Sign up free for this evening discussion of the program and why it might be Time to Go Deeper: Why The Dharma Matters Now. Also, sign up for our Fall retreat at the Garrison Institute at this link. You can now order personally signed copies of Ethan's books at his website. You can also subscribe to The Road Home podcast wherever you get your pods (Apple, Ethan's Website, Substack and every other pod place).

禪心世界

四十二章經第一章30

（三十） 　　從欲如意足、念如意足，到進如意足，達到一個境界以後，就要有慧。什麼是慧？能想的這念心要清清楚楚、明明白白，所想的境界也要歷歷分明。這念心對所觀的境界不生貪愛、不生恐怖，知道這個境界是自己心想所生，心外沒有一法可得，把能想的這個心和所想的境界化掉、空掉，這就是慧。 　　境界是一個假相，假使不知道它是假相，就會心生煩惱，或是貪愛執著，或是恐怖厭惡。所以，進一步要知道，一切心想所生的境界，是真空當中所生的妙有，如夢、如幻、如泡、如影，虛妄不實，當體即空。這念心不住在假有上面，能觀這念心、所想的境界，也要空掉，整個世界內外都是真空。最後，能觀、能想的這念心安住在正念，如如不動、了了常知、寂照一如，這就是菩提心、就是涅槃性。 　　一切法門都是一種方便，由這些方便就能達到究竟解脫。所謂「究竟解脫」，就是這念心安住正念、安住正定，沒有能觀這念心、也沒有所觀這個境，心境一如、觀智一如，這樣子就是超凡入聖、就能了生脫死。修觀的過程中，無論產生什麼境界，看到虛空也好、看到光明也好、看到佛菩薩也好，或是聽到什麼聲音，都不要理它，了達一切都是心念所生，心外無法，心境一如，這就是正知正見。 　　心專注，就是念法。四念處是法，四正勤、四如意足也是法。念，就是想念，把心念集中、專注在一個境界上面，就是「內住」，繼續不斷地在這上面思惟、想念，就是「續住」。由「續住」再到「安住」，就是修禪定的一個方法、一個方便。 　　禪，有大乘、小乘。大乘是依心起修、依性起修，適合上上根機的人，或是開悟的人、具有信心的人。什麼是依心起修？這念心時時時刻刻清清楚楚、了了分明，又能處處作主，不打妄想、不打瞌睡，這就是依心起修。什麼是依性起修？了達一切法都是空性，看到任何境界，無論是好的、壞的，都不理它。這念心就是空性、就是覺性。始終依據這兩個原則來修，就屬於大乘境界。 　　依心起修、依性起修，到達沒有一點點昏沉、妄想，這念心處處都能夠作主，這個時候就有觀照般若。最後，真正達到一念不生、真正達到清清楚楚，就與本心本性有一些相應了。什麼是本心本性？這念心清清楚楚、了了分明、如如不動，就是菩提、涅槃，就是本具的心性。 　　這念心清清楚楚、明明白白、沒有妄想、沒有昏沉，進一步還要看看能保任多久？要能站得住、站得長，就要有功夫。所以要精進，行住坐臥不離當念，所謂「行亦禪，坐亦禪」，行也如是、坐也如是，白天是如此、晚上也是如此，這樣就是「進」。這就是大乘法門──依心起修、依性起修、全修在性；一切都是「方便隨緣止」──隨著衣食住行、行住坐臥，把心靠到一個境界上作為方便。 　　什麼是「隨緣止」？隨著外面的因緣修止、修觀。所以，做事的時候也可以用功，保持人在哪裡、心就在哪裡。譬如，掃地的時候，這念心專注掃地，絕對不打妄想，要掃就掃，不掃就不掃。掃的時候，不但要把地掃得乾乾淨淨，同時要看看有沒有蟲蟻，不要把牠們弄死了。外在的掃地是一個境界，能掃的這念心又是一個境界，所以這念心要起觀行、要作主、要有覺性。掃完了以後，又要歸於自心。否則，隨意亂掃，灰塵滿天飛，也把蟲蟻弄死了，這就是眾生境界，不是屬於禪定。 　　所以，「掃地掃心地」，外面掃乾淨了，同時也要檢討反省，看看這念心清不清淨。藉由外境使我們的心念專注，並且檢討反省這個心有沒有貪心？有沒有貪著掃地的功德？要念念分明，時時刻刻不離當念，這樣就是返照自心。藉由這種方便，最後外面所掃的地也不可得、能掃這個心也不可得，心境達到一如的境界，就是解脫。這就是方便隨緣修止、修觀、修四如意足。明白了這個道理，動也是修、靜也是修，修行就很踏實。 留言告訴我你對這一集的想法： https://open.firstory.fm/user/cl7fjk84j01ga01wm8pio195l/comments

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