Episode 37 - The Nervous System and the Play Room
In this episode, Kylie breaks down polyvagal theory and its three key nervous system states - safe and social, fight or flight, and freeze/shutdown and explores what each one actually looks like when a child walks through the playroom door. Because understanding which state a child is in changes everything about how you respond to them. From neuroception (that unconscious, automatic threat-scanning happening in every child's nervous system, every moment of every day) to the neuroscience of co-regulation, Kylie unpacks why you simply cannot reason, teach, or connect with a child whose thinking brain is offline and what to do instead. Spoiler: it starts with you. One of the most powerful ideas in this episode is this - your regulated presence as a therapist isn't just good practice, it's the actual mechanism for change. The nervous system is a social organ, designed to be regulated by another nervous system. Which means a calm, warm, attuned adult can literally help a child's nervous system return to safety in real time. That's not a metaphor. That's neurobiology. Kylie also shines a light on the children who often get missed, the quiet ones, the compliant ones, the ones flying under the radar in the classroom and why a child in freeze or shutdown can actually be more concerning than the one having the explosive meltdown. And for the parents listening? There's a whole section for you too. Why talking to your child mid-meltdown doesn't work (and never will), what co-regulation actually looks like in practice, and why your number one job in those hard moments is to regulate yourself first. Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just starting out, or a parent trying to make sense of the big behaviours happening at home, this episode offers a new lens for understanding what children are really communicating and why the playroom might just be the most neurologically sophisticated therapeutic environment we have for children. In this episode: The three states of the nervous system and what they look like in the playroom Why the quiet, withdrawn child can be more concerning than the explosive one Neuroception — why children can't simply choose their reactions The neuroscience behind co-regulation and why it's biological, not optional Why your own regulation as a therapist is a clinical skill, not a nice-to-have Practical guidance for parents navigating dysregulation and big emotions at home Why CCPT isn't "just play" it's the most neurologically aligned therapeutic approach we have for children The Play Therapy Circle is now listened to in 55 countries. Wherever you are in the world — welcome to the Circle. 🎙️ Play Therapy Circle | Hosted by Kylie Ellison Free community forum: JOIN OUR FREE COMMUNITY HERE
- Transcript