
Ep 53- The First Session- What Actually Happens & Why It Matters
The First Session: What to Expect (and What Not to Do) in Child-Centred Play Therapy In this episode of the Foundation Series, Kylie Ellison, therapist, clinical supervisor, and play therapy trainer, dives deep into one of the biggest sources of anxiety for new play therapists: the first session with a child. If you've just finished your training or you're still building confidence in the playroom, this one's for you. The neurobiology of a first meeting Kylie starts by unpacking neuroception, the concept from polyvagal theory describing how a child's nervous system is constantly assessing safety below conscious awareness. Before a single word is exchanged, a child's body is already deciding whether the playroom, and the therapist in it, feels safe. Understanding this piece is key to setting the tone for everything that follows. Why the relational piece matters so much Children don't arrive as blank slates. They come with an existing template for how adults behave, shaped by prior relationships, previous therapy experiences, or in some cases, trauma and child protection histories. Kylie reflects on Gary Landreth's idea that the therapist is often the first adult in a child's life who doesn't want anything from them, and why that shift can be so disarming and healing for kids who are used to placating, performing, or people-pleasing with the adults around them. Structuring the first session Kylie walks through the practical mechanics of a first session, including: Grounding and regulating yourself before the child arrives Getting on the child's physical level (and why she prefers sitting on the floor) The opening welcome statement, and variations for younger children Sitting with the silence that follows, and recognizing when the urge to fill it is about you, not the child What not to do: asking questions, explaining play therapy, offering praise, or rescuing Ending the session with a five-minute warning and a clear, embodied closing statement Working through common scenarios Kylie also talks through real situations that come up in first sessions, including children who refuse to enter the playroom, kids with attachment or trauma histories who need more time to feel safe, separated or high-conflict families, and how to manage stakeholder expectations when trust-building takes longer than a few sessions. She's honest about the emotional toll this work can take, and the importance of clinical supervision and self-care along the way. This episode is a grounding reminder that CCPT isn't about having the perfect script. It's about trusting yourself, trusting the child, and trusting the process. Coming up next week: reflecting feelings and empathetic responding. Got a question or topic you'd love Kylie to cover? Email hello@playtherapycircle.com or find the podcast @playtherapycircle on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.
