The Overwhelmed Brain

The foundation of all dysfunctional behavior

Toxic, dysfunctional, and emotionally abusive behavior stem from the same foundational challenges in almost everyone. Learning what those challenges are and healing them can resolve carrying around years of future dysfunctional behavior.

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Is toxic energy blocking the life you want?

What are the obstacles to peace, comfort, and happiness? You may be walking amongst people and things right now that are literally draining positivity from your life.

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Are you living your life on a foundation of fears and insecurities?

Sometimes what drives our decisions isn't necessarily what has our best interests in mind. Old survival mechanisms can be running the show, steering us into unfavorable outcomes without us even realizing it. Better outcomes require learning what exactly is driving our behaviors at the deepest level.

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Can you get more time with someone without controlling what they do with their time?

You're not crazy for feeling lonely in a relationship where schedules clash and one of you seems to be filling their time with other things to do. Hmm... what's really going on in this relationship. I answer a listener's question about this very thing in this episode, plus talk a little bit about minimizing and letting go of clutter and overwhelm.

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Is sarcasm supposed to be funny or mean or...

Sarcasm can hide contempt while being disguised as humor. But, it can also bring humor to a difficult situation. Is there a limit to sarcasm and can it hurt relationships? Lots to discuss.

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When you don't talk about the hard stuff, hard stuff tends to stick around

It might feel better not knowing the answers to some questions becuase, after all, knowing might mean you now have to do something about it. But when you don't ask the hard questions and don't talk about the hard stuff, life doesn't get any easier and the hard stuff never gets resolved.

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When your values collide with others

What you value may not be what others value, but should that lead to black and white, all or nothing thinking where one person has to give something up so the other person can have what they want? Can there be a middle ground?

Moving forward through loss

After loss, it can feel like there's no movement, as if time stopped on that exact moment of grief or pain, never to move forward again. However, grief, sadness, pain, and suffering do not have to feel like a chasm with no escape. The hurt may not end right away, but the healing can start sooner than you think.

When those we love die

The death of my brother-in-law was hard and got me revisiting the concept of the death of loved ones. No one can tell you it's going to be okay, even though eventually you will be okay. But in the moment, it can be hard to believe there will be anything good to ever come again because they're gone.

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The "It's not my fault" apology

If you've ever felt hurt or offended by someone's words or actions, and their "apology" was more like a deflection than compassion for how it affected you, was it really an apology at all or simply more salt in the wound?

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Making hard decisions when you're not sure what's true

Sometimes you might wonder if things are going to change or not. Perhaps you're waiting for someone to show up better or differently, or your waiting for your boss to stop being such a jerk, or any of a number of things you deal with. Do you make a decision based on what you hope will happen? It can be challenging to determine your next steps when all you have is speculation.

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The ten components that make up a healthy, long-lasting relationship

I talk about toxic relationships all the time, but what do healthy relationships actually look like? Is there a formula? There are criteria. And I'll share ten components of a healthy relationship in this episode.

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The bare minimum needed for any close relationship

You'd think love and connection would be enough to get through any relationship challenge. But there is something stronger, something deeper that allows feelings to grow and the bond to strengthen.

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Should I reveal my past to a potential new partner

If you have a history that you're not proud of, and you start a new relationship, should the new potential partner be advised of a past you regret? If you don't tell, will it bring consequences down the road? It's a question some people wrestle with.

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Are these old emotional wounds or something real happening now?

Are old emotional wounds triggering you today? A woman reached out and shares her struggles about choices she made about a pregnancy and how her partner may have lied about his communication with his ex at the beginning of their relationship. Challenging topics to cover.

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The on again off again relationship and other challenging topics

Can the on-off relationship work? What about long-distance relationships? I talk about that and also someone asked me if it's their social anxiety or someone's rude behavior that's to blame. It's a grab bag episode today.

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Some people don't want you to be yourself

Other people's insecurities should not make you change for them. If they can't handle who you are, is it on you to make them comfortable or should they just adjust, adapt, or leave you alone?

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How to be direct about someone's hurtful behavior without being confrontational

You're allowed to tell someone they're hurting you — and if you feel stuck because you avoid conflict or keep punishing with silence, I've been there and will show you how to say it plainly so you know whether they change or reveal who they really are.

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Always take what sounds like a threat seriously

People who threaten, belittle, or use "jokes" about violence are practicing control, and they will gaslight you into submission if you don't take their threats or "jokes" seriously. Don't reward coercion with compliance.

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The past is the worst place to ruminate

Are you a victim of your past choices forever? If the future feels impossible because the past is unavoidable, it might be time to put away the mirror and forge the path you want.

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