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Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter

Kate Vitela

Welcome to Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter—a podcast about what happens after survival.

I'm Kate Vitela, a psychiatric nurse with more than twenty-five years of nursing experience, speaker, and lifelong student of human behavior. For years, this podcast focused on alcohol, addiction science, and recovery. Those conversations changed lives—including my own—but something became increasingly clear.

The longer I worked with women, the less we talked about alcohol.

We talked about burnout. Identity. Midlife. Relationships. Confidence. Beauty. Careers. Boundaries. Self-worth. Style. The invisible expectations placed on women. The stories we inherited. And the courage it takes to become ourselves.

That's what this next chapter is about.

Here, we'll explore the psychology of identity, the neuroscience of behavior change, fashion and personal style, beauty, aging, feminism, emotional health, self-concept, and what it really means to evolve throughout our lives.

You'll hear conversations with psychologists, stylists, artists, authors, neuroscientists, entrepreneurs, nurses, and women who have reinvented themselves more than once. We'll ask better questions than "How do I fix myself?" Instead, we'll ask, "Who am I becoming?" and "What kind of life am I creating?"

Sobriety will always be part of my story. Getting sober in 2018 fundamentally changed the trajectory of my life, my nursing career, and my understanding of the human mind. Recovery taught me emotional literacy, humility, curiosity, and resilience. It will always shape the way I see the world, but it is no longer the only lens through which I want to explore it.

Because recovery isn't the destination.

It's the foundation.

Whether you're rebuilding after addiction, navigating midlife, questioning your career, redefining your style, learning to trust yourself again, or simply fascinated by why humans do what we do, you're in the right place.

Around here, you'll find conversations about:

Psychology and neuroscience
Women's mental health and emotional well-being
Identity, self-concept, and personal reinvention
Fashion, personal style, and beauty as forms of self-expression
Midlife, confidence, and aging with intention
Feminism, culture, and the pressures women navigate
Behavior change, habits, and resilience
Creativity, curiosity, and lifelong learning
Sobriety and recovery as part of a much bigger story

This isn't a podcast about becoming perfect.

It's about becoming more fully yourself.

So whether you've been here since episode one or you're just finding us now, thank you for being part of this community.

The goal was never simply to stop drinking.

The goal was always to build a life that feels honest, meaningful, creative, beautiful, and completely your own.

Welcome to the next chapter.

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  • 23 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 36 min
  • English

Episodes 23

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  • #70
    April 21 · 39 min

    EP: 70: Playing Follow The Leader: Red Flags of Cult Mentality in Sobriety, Friendships & Business

    What if the problem wasn’t just alcohol… but the way you were taught to stop thinking for yourself? In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on something bigger than recovery culture. Deprogramming from AA dogma forced me to confront a deeper pattern—cult mentality—and how it shows up everywhere: sobriety spaces, religion, spiritual healing circles, coaching communities, friendships, and even romantic relationships. We’re not talking about extreme, fringe groups. We’re talking about everyday environments that: reward obedience punish questioning use fear, shame, or belonging to keep you in line slowly disconnect you from your own voice I break down the actual psychological characteristics of cult-like systems, including: thought reform and control dynamics loaded language and black-and-white thinking why questioning gets labeled as “resistance” or “ego” how doctrine can override your lived experience and how self-trust quietly erodes over time We also go deep into something that doesn’t get talked about enough: spiritualized gaslighting. You know the vibe: “you’re not manifesting hard enough” “your energy is off” “you’re low vibe” “you’re blocked” When everything becomes your fault, even your pain. I share honestly about why I was vulnerable to this—early sobriety, early business, high school (yikes), and relationships where I needed validation because underneath it all, I didn’t trust myself. This is not about blaming groups or shaming people. It’s about understanding how smart, capable women lose themselves in systems that promise healing, certainty, and belonging. And more importantly—how we get ourselves back. If you’ve ever: felt afraid to question something you were told was “the answer” noticed your mental health decline in a space that was supposed to help you felt like you had to perform, comply, or stay quiet to belong or realized you were outsourcing your identity, intuition, or worth This episode is for you. Because recovery isn’t about following the leader. It’s about learning how to trust yourself again. ⬇️ READY TO GO DEEPER? Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/ Email: katevitelacoaching@gmail.com Deprogramming AA Tools w/ Kirsten: https://www.sobrietybestie.com/

    • Transcript
  • #69
    April 14 · 49 min

    EP 69: Diving In To The Black Hole Of Pain & Numbness: Nervous System Regulation With Amyee Oen

    ⬇️ READY TO GO DEEPER? Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/ Email: katevitelacoaching@gmail.com Everyone is talking about nervous system regulation—but what does that actually look like in real life? In this episode, Kate sits down with nurse coach Amyee to talk about emotional numbness, why so many women feel disconnected from themselves, and what’s really happening in the body after years of stress, trauma, and dysregulation. They explore the idea of numbness as a “black hole”—something many women avoid through coping behaviors like drinking, scrolling, shopping, overeating, and overworking. But what if those behaviors aren’t failures… and are actually attempts to regulate an overwhelmed nervous system? This conversation breaks down: why numbness happens how the nervous system drives coping behaviors the difference between mindset work and somatic work why proper training matters in somatic coaching and how to start reconnecting with your body in practical, real-life ways If you’ve ever felt checked out, flat, or like you’re just going through the motions—this episode will help you understand why… and what to do next. Key Topics Nervous system regulation in everyday life Emotional numbness and disconnection Trauma, chronic stress, and dysregulation The “black hole” of avoided emotions Why women numb out (alcohol, scrolling, food, shopping, overworking) Somatic work vs. mindset work The importance of training and expertise in somatic coaching Practical tools for grounding and staying present What We Get Into Numbness Isn’t Random Why feeling flat, disconnected, or “off” is often the result of a chronically overwhelmed nervous system—not a personal failure. The Black Hole The uncomfortable truth: many women avoid deeper pain, grief, or unresolved emotions by staying busy, distracted, or numbed out—and what it takes to actually face that space. Coping Isn’t the Problem Drinking, scrolling, eating, shopping, overworking—these aren’t just bad habits. They’re attempts to regulate stress when your system doesn’t feel safe. Why Mindset Isn’t Enough You can’t think your way into feeling safe. This episode explores why empowerment has to include the body—not just thoughts. Somatic Work That Actually Helps What real nervous system support looks like (and why training matters if someone is guiding others through this work). Practical Regulation (Without Escaping Your Life) Simple, realistic ways to stay grounded, aware, and connected to your body throughout the day. Connect with the guest Amyee Oen: www.amyeeoen.com IG/FB @amyeeoen @findyourtruenorthcoaching

    • Transcript
  • #68
    April 7 · 39 min

    EP: 68 Good Girl No More: What I’m Shedding and Why I’m Embracing My Angry Feminist Era

    Connect with Kate at Rewired Sober on All Social Media Platforms Book a Discovery Call with Kate: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate Email the Podcast: katevitelacoaching@gmail.com In this solo episode, Kate shares what she can feel falling away in her life—and what she’s consciously choosing to embrace instead. Inspired by a meditation on the goddess Kali from the work of Meggan Watterson and the spiritual teaching of choosing love over fear from A Course in Miracles, Kate reflects on the identities, beliefs, and systems she’s outgrowing. From recovery dogma and online hustle culture to “good girl” conditioning, this episode explores what it looks like to stop shrinking—and start living with honesty, courage, creativity, and unapologetic feminist energy. Kate reflects on a powerful question that emerged during a meditation inspired by the work of Meggan Watterson and her Divine Feminine oracle deck. The card of the goddess Kali invites a confronting but liberating intention: release all that doesn’t serve you and become the truth of who you are. This episode explores what it means to consciously choose love over fear, a concept also central to the teachings of A Course in Miracles. Kate shares several areas of life where she can feel old identities, beliefs, and structures naturally falling away—and what she is embracing instead. This conversation is about honesty, growth, and the courage to outgrow what once felt necessary. In this episode, Kate talks about: • Shedding the pressure of the online business “hustle culture” model and embracing authentic connection with real communities of women in recovery • Letting go of recovery dogma, fear-based thinking, and outdated rhetoric while embracing neuroscience, feminism, soul work, and self-trust • Releasing the “good girl” conditioning that keeps women quiet about politics, injustice, and women’s rights—and finding the courage to speak honestly • Redefining fashion and creativity as personal expression rather than trend-chasing or external validation • The spiritual practice of allowing old identities to fall away so a more authentic life can emerge This episode is an invitation to ask yourself: What in my life is an old skin? What am I holding onto out of fear? And what might happen if I chose love instead?

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Showing 21–23 of 23 episodes