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The Terri Cole Show

Terri Cole

The Terri Cole Show is where psychology meets real life.
Hosted by licensed psychotherapist and bestselling author (Boundary Boss, Too Much and Father Wound coming 10/27/26) Terri Cole, this podcast is for anyone who is ready to understand themselves more deeply, create healthier relationships, and stop repeating patterns that no longer serve them.

With nearly three decades of clinical experience, Terri breaks down complex psychological concepts into practical tools you can actually use. From boundaries, high-functioning codependency, and people-pleasing to attachment, family-of-origin wounds, self-worth, anxiety, and relationship dynamics, each episode is designed to help you connect the dots between what you learned in the past and how you're living today.

You'll hear solo episodes, listener Q&As, and conversations with leading experts in psychology, relationships, wellness, and personal growth.

Because when you understand why you think, feel, and behave the way you do, you have the power to make a different choice.

Tune in to The Terri Cole Show and start creating more freedom, healthier relationships, and a life that thrills and fulfills you.

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  • 26 episodes
  • Avg 27 min
  • English
Counted on this page — what you have heard stays on this device, so it is not something the list can be paged by.
  • #860
    Tuesday · 21 min

    860 The Father Wound–Boundary Connection

    If setting a boundary feels like you're risking the whole relationship, your unhealed father wound might be why. When the person who was supposed to protect you didn't, you can grow up without the sense that you're even allowed to say no. In this episode, I'm walking through how the father wound shapes your boundaries, the different father archetypes and the specific boundary struggles each one creates, and why so many of us never learned we were allowed to protect ourselves in the first place. Whether your father was absent, critical, emotionally distant, abusive, unreliable, narcissistic, passive, or played favorites, those wounds can make certain boundaries especially difficult. It often comes back to the same things: learning to protect yourself, honoring your needs, and being able to disappoint other people without abandoning yourself. The best part of healing your father wound is that you don't have to keep going along to get along anymore. Not sure if your father wound is affecting your boundaries? Get the journal prompts from this episode to uncover how your father wound may still be shaping your boundaries, relationships, and ability to say no. terricole.com/860 KEY TAKEAWAYS If your father didn't protect you, you may have learned you weren't worth protecting. That belief shapes your boundaries in adulthood. Different father archetypes create different boundary struggles: absent fathers make saying no feel like abandonment, critical fathers make you fear getting it wrong, narcissistic fathers teach you that your needs don't matter. Pleasing, being compliant, achieving to belong — these are the opposite of having healthy boundaries. They kept you safe as a child, but they're not serving you now. You'll never build the life you want if it's built on self-abandonment. You don't need your father's permission or participation to heal your father wound. This work is for you. I wrote an entire book to walk you through this work. Pre-order Father Wound and get access to a free 3-hour virtual retreat with me. fatherwoundbook.com

  • #859
    August 27 · 34 min

    859 On Our Knees with Regena (Mama Gena) Thomashauer

    What if surrender could help you reconnect with pleasure, heal emotionally, and feel fully alive again? In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Regena Thomashauer to explore surrender, pleasure, self-healing, and emotional healing. We talk about why high-functioning women can become exhausted from trying to control everything, how surrender is different from submission, and what happens when we stop fighting our lives. Regena shares her deeply personal journey from trauma and self-doubt to discovering the power of pleasure, reconnecting with her body, and learning to trust what comes next. If you're ready to let go of control, reconnect with pleasure, and discover a new way to move through burnout and life's difficult moments, this conversation is for you. Find the show notes at terricole.com/859

  • #858
    August 25 · 20 min

    858 The Art of Self-Soothing (396 Re-Run)

    Let's say you have a rough interaction with someone, a disappointing outcome, or you get bad news–what do you do to help yourself feel better? Do you have a couple of drinks? Maybe smoke a little weed? Or eat a tub of ice cream? No judgment here, but I want to invite you to think about it because many of us confuse self-numbing with self-soothing. In this episode, you'll learn my favorite self-soothing tips, healthy ways to support your nervous system and emotional wellbeing, plus how to create your own self-soothing and stress relief toolkit. Learning how to effectively self-soothe can be life-changing! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/396

  • #857
    August 20 · 43 min

    857 The Power of 'Moving Art' for Mental Health with Louie Schwartzberg

    What if beauty could change the way you experience life? In this conversation, I sit down with visionary filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg to talk about gratitude, nature, beauty, wonder, and mental health—and why paying attention to the natural world can help us become more present and connected. Louis shares the story behind his breathtaking films Fantastic Fungi, Gratitude Revealed, and Moving Art, and explains why he believes beauty can be a powerful antidote to a world filled with fear, conflict, and constant bad news. We talk about how nature teaches us to live, why gratitude begins with presence, and what happens when we slow down enough to actually see the beauty that's already around us. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the world, this conversation may give you a completely different way to look at it. Read the show notes for this episode at terricole.com/857

  • #856
    August 18 · 14 min

    856 Signs of Abandonment Issues (374 Rerun)

    Do you find that you attach unusually quickly to people, whether in friendships or romantic relationships? Do you stay in relationships that you know are bad for you because the thought of being alone scares you more than staying in a bad relationship? Or do you repeatedly find yourself in relationships with unavailable people? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might have abandonment issues. In this episode, I'm helping you recognize the signs of abandonment issues in adult relationships and reviewing the most common causes of chronic fear of abandonment. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/374

  • #855
    August 11 · 22 min

    855 Being Nice to Avoid Conflict Isn't Nice, It's Controlling - Here's Why (714 Rerun)

    Are you a nice person? Do you think it's possible to be too nice? Or that wanting to be nice is an excuse some high-functioning codependents hide behind to avoid conflict? In my personal and professional experience, it is possible to be too nice, and it's not great for your relationships. In this episode, we'll explore what it means to be nice, what being too nice looks like, why it matters, and how to shift your behavior to authentic niceness. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/714

  • August 6 · 40 min

    854 Discover Your Anxiety Type with Noelle McWard Aquino

    Anxiety doesn't always look like fear — sometimes it looks like control, perfectionism, people pleasing, and doing everything "right." In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I explore the types of anxiety that often hide beneath high-functioning behaviors, codependency, and the struggle to set healthy boundaries. I sit down with anxiety expert Noelle McWard Akino to explain how anxiety can show up as catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs about ourselves. We talk about why high-functioning anxiety can look like success, how overthinking keeps us stuck, and why trying to control everything may actually be a sign that we don't feel safe. Understanding your types of anxiety can help you recognize your patterns, create healthier boundaries, and learn how to respond differently instead of being driven by fear. If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, self-doubt, or feeling responsible for everyone and everything, this conversation will help you understand the deeper roots of anxiety and begin your emotional healing journey. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/854

  • August 5 · 19 min

    853 5 Signs your emotional boundaries need work (341 Rerun)

    Do you ever feel responsible for the feelings of others? Do you overgive and overfunction? Do you suffer from chronic indecision? If any of those things resonate, today's episode is for you. I am going to share with you five signs that your emotional boundaries need help. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/853

  • #852
    July 30 · 33 min

    852 ADHD Regulation with Jenna Free

    ADHD nervous system regulation may be the missing piece behind ADHD paralysis, overwhelm, and executive dysfunction. What if many ADHD symptoms aren't just ADHD—but signs of a nervous system stuck in fight or flight? In this episode, I sit down with therapist and ADHD expert Jenna Free to explore a different way of understanding adult ADHD. We discuss why ADHD nervous system regulation can be more effective than relying on productivity hacks alone, how chronic fight-or-flight impacts executive functioning, and why slowing down—not pushing harder—may actually help you get more done. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/852

  • #851
    July 28 · 18 min

    851 10 Signs You're Suppressing Your Anger (354 Rerun)

    When you're upset with someone about something, do you: Say nothing, but silently keep score? Talk to other people about it? Ice the person out? Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text? If any of those rang a bell, you are not alone which is why in this week's episode, I'm breaking down the top 10 indicators that you might be suppressing and/or unconsciously repressing your anger. Raising your awareness around when you might be acting out feelings of frustration or anger is the first step to expressing yourself in a healthier way. I promise you, learning these skills will improve all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/354

  • July 23 · 31 min

    850 Fair Fighting with Kim Polinder

    Conflict resolution isn't about avoiding arguments—it's about learning how to repair them. In this conversation, I explore why couples keep having the same fight, how attachment styles affect relationships, and why emotional regulation matters even more than communication when conflict arises. If you've ever wondered why arguments keep repeating or how to repair after an argument without feeling misunderstood, this episode is for you. We discuss conflict resolution strategies for couples, childhood wounds, relationship conflict, emotional healing, and the hidden patterns that shape healthy relationships. You'll also learn why most fights aren't really about the dishes, the chores, or the words being said—they're about deeper emotional needs and unresolved core wounds. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/850

  • July 21 · 19 min

    849 Spot Emotional Manipulation (313 Rerun)

    Have you ever been in an argument with someone and before the end of the argument, even though they have done something quite egregious, you find yourself apologizing? Have you ever been in a heated exchange with someone and they straight up deny the thing you know they did? This could sound like, "What are you talking about?"; "I never said/did that."; or, "I'm worried about you." If you are nodding your head yes, then you are in luck because in today's episode of The Terri Cole Show, this is exactly what I'm addressing. Emotional manipulation is real, people! The more you know about it, the less you will fall victim to it. I'm teaching you all about Boundary Destroyers and their tactics so you can effectively protect yourself. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/313

  • July 16 · 39 min

    848 Art Imitating Life with Filmmaker Tracie Laymon

    What happens when the father you needed never showed up? In this episode, I sit down with filmmaker Tracie Laymon, creator of Bob Trevino Likes It, to explore how growing up with an emotionally unavailable father shaped her life, relationships, and sense of self. We talk about the father wound, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, healing through safe relationships, and why chosen family can become part of our emotional recovery. If you've ever struggled with feeling unseen, constantly seeking approval, or wondering why healthy love feels unfamiliar, this conversation is for you. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/848

  • July 14 · 19 min

    847 Codependency: From Confusion to Clarity (349 Rerun)

    Are you confused about what it means to be codependent? Do you ever wonder what codependency looks like in practice? If you're nodding your head yes, that's understandable. In my experience, there is often confusion around the topic of codependency, with a ton of misconceptions and a plethora of myths clouding up what it looks like in real life. In today's episode, I'm delivering rock-solid clarity about what codependency is by showing you what it's not. Ready for some major myth-busting?! Let's go! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/349

  • July 9 · 34 min

    846 Come Home to Yourself with Elena Brower

    Are you exhausted from trying to "fix" everyone and everything in your life? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, yoga mentor, and author Elena Brower to discuss why letting go is the ultimate act of self-love. We've been conditioned to think that love means fixing, controlling, or "managing" the people around us. But what if the most powerful thing you could do is simply hold space? In this episode, Elena Brower—bestselling author of Hold Nothing: An Invitation to Let Go and Come Home to Yourself—shares her profound journey from high-functioning perfectionism to a life of presence and service. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/846

  • July 7 · 22 min

    845 Disordered Boundaries + High-Functioning Codependency: What You Need to Know (716 Rerun)

    "Is she entitled? Or have you just been serving yourself up on a platter?" My therapist asked me that years ago, while I was mid-rant about a friend who kept asking me for favors. It stopped me cold, and it changed how I understood my own patterns. If you're the one who says "I got it" before anyone finishes asking, who anticipates everyone's needs, who lies awake wondering if you came off as selfish, this episode is for you. It's part one of a two-part series on boundaries and high functioning codependency, and I'm breaking down why boundaries are so hard for those of us who over-give, auto-accommodate, and self-sacrifice on autopilot. You'll learn what boundaries are made of (your preferences, desires, limits, and deal breakers), how HFC traits create disordered boundaries, and why healthy boundaries are the bridge to the relationships you want. Ready for the scripts? Part two, with word-for-word boundary scenarios, is at terricole.com/718. This episode is part of our Best of The Terri Cole Show summer series: the most-requested episodes of the show, back to back, while new episodes are in the works for fall. Get the free assessment guide for this episode: terricole.com/guide Listen to part two: terricole.com/718 Find out where you stand with boundaries: boundaryquiz.com

  • July 2 · 36 min

    844 The Balanced Stepmom with Jamie Scrimgeour

    Are you feeling like an outsider in your own home? Does the pressure to be the "perfect" stepmom have you constantly over-functioning, resentful, and burnt out? In this episode, I'm joined by Jamie Scrimger, the founder of the "Kick-Ass Stepmom" community. We dive deep into the messy, complicated, and often painful reality of navigating blended family dynamics. We aren't just talking about tips—we're talking about the deep emotional work required to feel secure, respected, and valued as a bonus mom. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/844

  • June 30 · 27 min

    843 Six Ways to Build Emotional Safety in Your Relationships (confirmed)

    Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety. Emotionally safe relationships do not just happen by accident. They are built through small, consistent behaviors over time. Trust, respect, honesty, and repair are skills, not lucky outcomes. Here are six things you can practice to build more emotional safety in the relationships that matter most to you. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/843

  • June 25 · 32 min

    842 Sustainable Healing with Koya Webb

    Have you ever achieved your biggest goals only to end up feeling completely exhausted, lonely, and burnt out? In this episode, I'm sitting down with my soul-sister and nervous system regulation expert, Koya Webb, to unpack the hidden trap of high-functioning codependency and people-pleasing. Koya opens up about her raw "dark night of the soul" moment—crying in a bathtub after hosting a massively successful 8,000-person event—and how it forced her to stop self-abandoning and start truly healing. Whether you are a super-empath, a highly sensitive person (HSP), or just someone running on empty, this conversation will give you the exact science-backed daily rituals you need to reset your nervous system, build deep community, and reclaim your personal sovereignty. We dive deep into Koya's brand new book, "Well Being Rituals: Science-Backed Practices for Sustainable Healing and Living," exploring the 7 levels of holistic well-being you can start practicing today. It's time to stop giving from an empty bucket! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/842

  • June 23 · 21 min

    841 5 Signs of Emotional Insecurity in Relationships

    Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety. Emotionally safe relationships do not just happen by accident. They are built through small, consistent behaviors over time. Trust, respect, honesty, and repair are skills, not lucky outcomes. Here are six things you can practice to build more emotional safety in the relationships that matter most to you. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/841

Showing 1–20 of 26 episodes