Something Positive for Positive People

SPFPP 416: The Herpes Community?

Are you burning out from carrying the weight of your herpes diagnosis in isolation? This week on Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame explores the mechanics of burnout, energy management, and emotional capacity through a fascinating lens: the four laws of thermodynamics. Courtney breaks down how our environments and un-metabolized trauma dictate our energy levels, using powerful animal metaphors to illustrate how we can reclaim our power. Learn how to master your environment like the spider, transform your trauma into purpose like the dung beetle, maintain your grounded pace like the elephant, and harness explosive, friction-less energy like the lion. Courtney also explains the absolute necessity of leaning into a supportive community before you face rejection—because facing the chaos of entropy alone will always drain your battery. Plus, Courtney shares massive organizational updates, including the incredible growth of the SPFPP platform, a restructured weekly schedule to prevent burnout, details on Lauren Key's upcoming one-woman show "Deal Breaker," and the official announcement of the 2027 Herpes Stigma Conference for medical professionals. Links & Resources Mentioned: Get Tickets for the 2027 SPFPP Conference: spfpp.org/conferences Subscribe to the SPFPP Newsletter: spfpp.org/herpes-newsletter Take the Herpes Stigma Survey: spfpp.org/herpes-survey Request a Support Call or Join a Group: spfpp.org

SPFPP 415: I Don't Know a Life Without Herpes

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, incest, and suicide attempts. Please take care of yourself while listening. What does it take to survive the darkest of circumstances and still choose to live a life rooted in love and forgiveness? This week, Courtney Brame sits down with Reina, a board member of Herpes Cure Advocacy, for an incredibly raw, unedited, and deeply moving conversation about surviving compounding trauma. Contracting HSV at just five years old due to childhood sexual assault, Reina shares her journey through profound denial, the struggle to articulate her pain to medical professionals, and the eventual breaking point that led to a near-fatal suicide attempt. Reina opens up about how escaping a toxic environment, overcoming alcohol dependency, and finding her faith allowed her to finally stop running from her past. Now 26 years after her exposure, Reina explains why she chooses radical forgiveness, how she navigates dating and disclosure with unapologetic confidence, and why true healing begins with apologizing to your inner child. Links & Resources Mentioned: Connect with Herpes Cure Advocacy: herpescureadvocacy.com Subscribe to the SPFPP Newsletter Request a Support Call or Join a Group

SPFPP 414: Stigma Made Simple - The Metaphysics of Identity with Sheikha Sakina M.MSc

When you receive a herpes diagnosis, it is incredibly common to let that one virus overwrite your entire sense of self—disregarding every other amazing aspect of your being. At SPFPP, we define this phenomenon as a "fragmentation of identity." This week, Courtney Brame sits down with Sheikha Sakina to explore this fragmentation through a completely different lens: the metaphysics of identity. Anchoring their conversation in Erving Goffman's classic definition of stigma, Courtney and Sheikha simplify the mechanics of shame by looking at how all energy and matter comes into existence and maintains itself. Together, they discuss simple, physics-based applications to help you challenge your deeply ingrained beliefs and ultimately change your behaviors. Disclaimer: This episode is highly geared toward our long-time listeners who are ready for deep, introspective work. It leans heavily into the spiritual, self-help, "have-you-tried-yoga" realm of healing. But if you have the willingness to explore your identity at an energetic level, this conversation will offer a profoundly liberating perspective on stigma. Connect with Sheikha: https://alsakina.xyz/ https://www.instagram.com/wearealsakina https://substack.com/@wearealsakina https://www.tiktok.com/@wearealsakina

SPFPP 413: Saying the Thing Over Saying it Perfectly - with Lena Peak

Are you letting the pressure to say things "perfectly" stop you from experiencing the pleasure you deserve? This week on Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame sits down with Lena Peak of Eros Insight, a queer-owned sexuality education resource. Tying into the core SPFPP theme that "Safe Sex is Communicative Sex," Courtney and Lena explore how perfectionism can paralyze us from both discovering and expressing what we truly want in the bedroom. They unpack the common disconnects found in heterosexual, monogamous relationships, examining how the default "social scripts" we are handed often fail to serve all parties involved. Drawing on valuable lessons from Queerness, Lena explains how we can expand beyond these limiting scripts to embrace authentic connection. They also discuss a powerful resource Lena created that centers self-inquiry and curiosity to help you pinpoint your exact desires and confidently bring them up to your partner(s). Tune in to learn the essential questions you need to ask yourself to dive deeper into your own pleasure, and remember: saying the thing is always better than trying to say it perfectly. Connect with Lena: Instagram - @erosinsight For the workbook we talked about in the episode - https://erosinsight.com/store/holistic-sexual-wellness About Lena: Lena Peak, MSW, CSE (she/they) is an AASECT-certified sexuality educator and founder of Eros Insight, where she explores sexuality, gender, identity, and relationships through a justice-centered lens. Her work empowers people and organizations to question inherited narratives and imagine more authentic, expansive ways of being.Lena designs supportive educational experiences that inspire meaningful community, intellectual risk-taking, and radical dreaming. Their work centers erotic knowledge as a source of personal and collective power, inviting people to recognize and reclaim their capacity for aliveness, connection, and pleasure.Lena holds a Master of Social Work degree with a concentration in Sexual Health & Education from Washington University in St. Louis.

SPFPP 412: What's the Best That Can Happen

Are you letting the fear of rejection keep you from experiencing genuine connection? Broadcasting from the Black Yoga Teachers Alliance Conference, Courtney Brame takes a moment to celebrate a massive milestone: the 9-year anniversary of the Something Positive for Positive People podcast! In this deeply reflective solo episode, Courtney tackles the intense anxiety surrounding herpes disclosures and dating initiation. We spend so much energy agonizing over the worst-case scenarios, but what if you flipped the script and asked yourself, "What's the best that can happen?" Courtney shares recent personal stories of pushing past his own fears of initiation to find profound connection, unexpected healing, and beautiful new friendships. He explains why our fear of disclosure is often a disguised fear of vulnerability, success, and true intimacy. Plus, Courtney shares major organizational updates, including details on the final Herpes Stigma Expo in NYC, setting firm energetic and financial boundaries for support calls, and why he needs YOU to be the next guest on the podcast. Stop rejecting yourself, let people surprise you, and let the best happen. Links & Resources Mentioned: Subscribe to the SPFPP Newsletter: spfpp.org/herpes-newsletter Get Tickets for the final NYC Expo (Aug 29): spfpp.org/expo Request a Support Call or Join a Group: spfpp.org/herpes-support-call

SPFPP 411: Access Points for Exploration - with Kiki Maree

How does our understanding of "cleanliness" perpetuate STI stigma? This week on Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame is joined by Australian sexologist Kiki Maree for a transparent conversation about neutralizing the shame surrounding sexual health. Kiki opens up about her childhood experience of oral herpes being completely normalized within her family, contrasting it with the intense stigma society places on genital herpes. Together, Courtney and Kiki explore the confusing journey of being diagnosed with Ureaplasma and Bacterial Vaginosis (BV), and how hyper-vigilance around "smell" and "cleanliness" can destroy intimacy. Kiki also explains how physical setbacks—whether it's an STI diagnosis, erectile disappointment, or a boundary violation—can actually serve as powerful access points to a deeper, more authentic connection with your own sexuality. Links & Resources Mentioned: Follow Kiki Maree on Instagram: @yoniclicious or @kiki.maree Visit Kiki’s Website for Free Resources: yoniclicious.com.au Get Tickets for the NYC Expo (Aug 29): spfpp.org/expo Subscribe to the SPFPP Newsletter: spfpp.org/herpes-newsletter Self Yoni Love: https://www.yonilicious.com.au/access-pleasure-portal Navigating sexuaqlity while living alongside chronic pain and/or illness: https://www.yonilicious.com.au/navigating-pain-and-illness-masterclass Body Image & Sexuality: https://www.yonilicious.com.au/body-image-neutrality-masterclass

SPFPP 410: The Undercurrent of Communication - No Means No

SPFPP 410: The Undercurrent of Communication - No Means No Are you telling yourself "no" before giving anyone else the chance to say yes? This week on Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame is talking about dating, initiation, and overcoming the fear of success. After being called out by the women's support group for avoiding dating initiation, Courtney realized his lack of confidence wasn't a fear of rejection—it was a fear of getting exactly what he wanted. Drawing powerful parallels from Brazilian Zouk dancing, Courtney breaks down the importance of congruent communication, how to read subtle hints, and why we need to stop attaching our identities to a "no." Tune in to learn how to view dating as an invitation to "play," the importance of aligning your beliefs with your behaviors, and major updates on the upcoming NYC Herpes Stigma Expo. Links & Resources Mentioned: Subscribe to the SPFPP Newsletter: spfpp.org/herpes-newsletter Get Tickets for the NYC Expo (Aug 29): spfpp.org/expo Request a Donation-Based Support Call: spfpp.org

SPFPP 409: What We Don't Metabolize Will Metastasize

If you don't metabolize your trauma, it will metastasize into your life. This week on Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame returns for a deeply personal, unapologetic solo episode. Reflecting on his own year-and-a-half journey of suppressed grief following the end of a relationship, Courtney explains how the emotions we refuse to process—whether it's heartbreak or the trauma of an STI diagnosis—operate just like a cancer, spreading into our confidence, our communication, and our identity. In this episode, Courtney explores the "suicide of self-identification" that happens when we let stigma invalidate who we are. Using powerful analogies—from somatic release in deep tissue massages to the conversation of Brazilian Zouk dancing—Courtney breaks down why pure, unfiltered authenticity is the ultimate "chemo" for internalized stigma. Tune in to learn why your environment dictates your healing, why it's time to stop dimming your light, and how to consciously channel your energy to attract the connections you actually deserve. Links & Resources Mentioned: Take the Herpes Stigma Survey: spfpp.org/herpes-survey Get Tickets for the NYC Expo (Aug 29): spfpp.org/expo Learn more about "Letting Go" of Herpes Stigma: spfpp.org/yoga

SPFPP 408: Safe Sex is Communicative Sex - with Tamar Weir

SPFPP 408: Safe Sex is Communicative Sex - with Tamar Weir What happens when you find out you've been exposed to an STI you've never even heard of? This week on Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame sits down with Tamar Weir (founder of Pomegranate Pleasure) to unpack a real-life scenario: Tamar's recent Ureaplasma diagnosis and how she communicated the exposure to Courtney. Courtney and Tamar explore the nuances of Ureaplasma as a commensal bacteria, the intense frustration of navigating confusing and unhelpful medical providers, and how the stigma surrounding "cleanliness" makes these infections harder to talk about. Tamar also shares her tips for building your own personalized sexual health "script," while Courtney breaks down why it's time to shift from a high-pressure "confession" to a co-created "discussion." Tune in to learn why having conversations about sexual health doesn't have to ruin the mood—it can actually make intimacy sexier. Links & Resources Mentioned: Follow Tamar Weir on Instagram: @pomegranatepleasure Read Tamar's Blog: Everything Juicy (Link via IG) Subscribe to the SPFPP Newsletter: spfpp.org/herpes-newsletter Get Tickets for the NYC Expo (Aug 29): spfpp.org/expo

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SPFPP 407: Presence Over Performance

I had a support call go sideways and was hung up on for the first time since I started doing this work in 2017 supporting people living with herpes. I had to learn for myself real quick that my authenticity is more important than anybody else's discomfort. I can't coddle folks into healing.

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SPFPP 406: Right Use of Energy - Brahmacharya in Action

Are you bleeding energy into things that don't serve your highest self? This week, Courtney is back with a massive life update and a profound shift in the podcast's direction. Transitioning to a once-a-month format, Courtney dives deep into the yogic principle of Brahmacharya—the right use of energy. Listen in as I share how removing social media distractions and enforcing strict personal boundaries led to necessary changes. From transmuting unspent sexual energy into writing the first draft of the SPFPP book, to transforming my physical health through Ayurveda, to processing relationship trauma on the Zouk dance floor, this episode is about vertical growth over horizontal distraction. I also also break down the main differences between the men's and women's support groups, share my upcoming travel itinerary, and explains why true authenticity is the ultimate friction-remover. Links & Resources Mentioned: Subscribe to the SPFPP Newsletter: spfpp.org/herpes-newsletter Read the SPFPP Blog: spfpp.org/herpes-blog Request a Donation-Based Support Call: spfpp.org/herpes-support-call

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SPFPP 405: You're Entitled to Compensation

A herpes diagnosis can make you feel taken from, or like God took away your ability to have sex. What exactly was taken from you? Reality is that you are still capable of sex, and nothing was 'taken' necessarily except for the identification we had with ourselves leading up to the diagnosis. If in fact God did take away your ability to have sex, then by God's Law of compensation, you're entitled to something of equal or greater value in return. I speak about the laws of Thermodynamics to hopefully give an idea of the energetics/physics of what to do with a herpes diagnosis.

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SPFPP 404: How to Communicate an STI Exposure

There's a statement phrase that goes, "Can't do, teach" and I don't know the punctuation exactly, but it means those who don't have the bravery to have the experience become people who just teach because they can't do the thing they teach. Here, you'll hear me share my own personal experience which highlights the importance of why those who do NEED to teach. This is why teaching from experience is necessary.

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SPFPP 403: Courtney's 13 Year Herpes Anniversary

It was March 23, 2013 I woke up and had my first herpes outbreak. It was a whole 13 years now of living with herpes. The past 9 years of running SPFPP and the podcast, I have hidden behind the experiences of my guests, and now I'm very challenged with what it looks like to maintain this consistency of sharing experiences of people living with herpes and it's become much harder to find guests. I now have accepted that I gotta quit being a lil' baby about not sharing my own lived experiences with herpes. I've been afraid of criticism, the fact that things change over time, the fact that it's the internet and anything I say can be brought up and used against me somehow. Wild to say, but I'm working through that barrier and hopefully that transparency brings in more guests as well. But here's a recap of how I celebrated my 13 year herpes anniversary with the community!

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SPFPP 402: Herpes is the End of the World

A few times this past week, people on support calls have shared that when they talked to their therapist, a friend, or even the suicide lifeline, that they were met with, "It's not the end of the world". The reality is, it is. And telling someone whose whole world as they know it is being torn apart is invalidating to their experience. We've been learning since 2017 that the consistent reason for suicidality after a herpes diagnosis is an invalidation of identity. A person's beliefs are not to be invalidated, but interrogated with curiosity. I probably shouldn't say that in writing, because there's a fine line between curiosity and being nosey, and not everyone can navigate that with someone seeking support. My intention this episode is to share and validate that yes, herpes is the end of the world, as is that first heart break, first job loss, first encounter with losing a loved one, only for us to take the remnants of the ending and incorporate it into our identity. To nurture our nature is to integrate the essence of our previously ended worlds to come to create a new one for ourselves from it.

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SPFPP 401: What Herpes Taught Me About Authenticity - Part 2

What if a herpes diagnosis didn't take away your freedom, but actually freed you from an energetic cage you didn't know you were in? In Part 2 of "What Herpes Taught Me About Authenticity," Courtney Brame drops the standard narrative of "good vs. bad" and dives deep into the quantum physics and spiritual mechanics of an STI diagnosis. We explore how living unconsciously chasing validation, ignoring the gentle whispers of the nervous system, and bleeding energy into casual encounters can leave us fragmented. Through the lens of his own 13-year journey, he explains how a herpes diagnosis acts as a "Heavenly Restriction" (Jujutsu Kaisen Reference) a permanent, physical boundary that chokes off the leakage of unconscious energy, forcing a return to radical authenticity and intentional connection. If you are exhausted by trauma-dumping, people-pleasing, or feeling stuck in the identity of your diagnosis, this episode provides a new atomic blueprint for achieving maximum evolution with minimum waste. Episode Timestamps: [00:00:00] Intro: The danger of the "Good vs. Bad" polarity. [00:05:58] The Leasing Office Analogy: Why we miss the early warning signals of our nervous system. [00:12:45] The Identity Collapse: How a diagnosis "screenshots" us into a stuck identity. [00:28:08] What is True Authenticity? (Hint: It’s not just "being yourself.") [00:40:07] The Luffy Rule: Why I stopped being an "emotional boyfriend" and trauma-dumping sponge. [00:47:12] The Heavenly Pact: How a herpes diagnosis acts as the ultimate energetic bouncer for intimacy. [00:56:46] The New SPFPP Boundaries: 30-minute caps, the end of weekend calls, and zero-waste operations. [01:04:37] March 21st NYC Event Details & The future of the SPFPP Podcast.

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SPFPP 400: What Herpes Taught Me About Authenticity - Part 1

Finally! We celebrated me closing out the 400th podcast episode it took me damn near 3 months to record, only for me to realize I’m not closing it out after all. My options for getting these resources out there are limited given social media has not been kind to anything I have to talk about, however, the website has been booming given the care and attention I’ve given to it. Last month we had almost 80 scheduled support calls, this month halfway through February, we’re at 40, so I’m busy, but I think instead of replacing the podcast with the support groups, it’s time I give much less energy to social media instead. The podcast has served several major purposes including remaining connected to the community by bringing people in to share their experiences, letting people hear from others, and I think most of all, it’s been another outlet of expression as an extension of me. Last year things were chaotic for the first half of the year. I’d say I got some solid footing in August/September 2025 and now I have a firm rhythm of running SPFPP, working part time, wrapping up Yoga Therapy Training, and my romantic life. This is part 1 of what herpes taught me about authenticity, where I just share about some changes that happened in a way that hopefully makes sense to ya’ll listening. Apologies in advance for the audio. My mic was never plugged in and when I noticed it, I lost track of my point so I ended the episode shortly after haha. Anyways, welcome back!

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SPFPP 399: What Herpes Taught Me About God

I had every intention of making my last podcast episode being on this topic but I was called to take a different route based on the direction this episode went. I interviewed a member of the Women's Support support group as well as a Yoga Therapy client at the time of this recording. Herpes and Spirituality is one of the main searches that drive people to SPFPP, and many of the people I talk to have a background of Christianity, growing up Catholic, and our conversations generally head in the direction of speaking to their relationship to God. With all this free time I'll have from no longer running the podcast, I'll be able to read the Bible myself and be able to have more fitting conversations with people coming from that purity culture upbringing. I enjoyed getting to bounce some reflections off someone in this conversation rather than doing it alone and rambling too much, so I'm grateful to Lia for letting me talk her ear off and tie her experiences together with this conversation topic that has become so meaningful to so many people.

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SPFPP 398: Practicing Perfection

I interview _Laurentellsstories (Instagram page) who reached out to me yesterday. She and I recorded today and spoke about what inspired her to tell her story about dating with herpes. She's been a beast in the dating world, so hearing from her would be inspiring to someone looking to get to the other side of their diagnosis and start dating again. She shares a little about not telling people about her herpes status in the past and we talk through the mindset of that space. A rejection in 2021 sent her down the path of finding passion in storytelling and she decided to be open about her status the literal day of this podcast recording and upload. Be sure to be on the lookout for her One Woman Show in Chicago and perhaps the world depending on the year you listen to this.

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SPFPP 397: What Herpes Taught Me About Addiction

I interviewed a man named John who speaks with me about his experience in recovery for sex addiction. We open with me challenging him on how he introduced himself only for him to kick it back to me, which I love! My guy is going to be a public speaker one day and I commend him often throughout the episode for his willingness to share such vulnerable insights as someone who is in recovery. While herpes was what brought us together, that by far is not all there is to his story. He speaks about sharing his status with his parents, spending addiction, what it can be like to date someone who is in recovery, as well as his own challenges in his healing process. Stay tuned for this podcast episode where we get to hear from a man with herpes beyond just his diagnosis as we round out our final few episodes leading to the big 400th episode celebration in Brooklyn. We also need more people to take our survey! This podcast episode on Love Addiction is a good description of that.

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