Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Welcome to Slop Quest! A show so ridiculous it'll feel like your brain got kicked in the nutz. Hosted by Ryan O'Neill and Andrew DeWitt.

Subscribe Listen in podnod RSS feed Show website

20 episodes
Updated Yesterday
Explicit

Episodes20

Newest first

Yesterday · 57 min
Slop Quest 142 Shamilton Billionaire Beef
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy realizes he’s about to be friends with a lot more furries. Ryan talks about how difficult it is for him to be attracted to women in giant costumes with a butt flap. Then Ryan proposes a WW2 musical that Andy finds dubious at best. There’s a lot of “rhyming only one word” musical improv. Ryan is convinced that the idea is “gold”. However, some of the lyrics are…not great. Andy listens to his own show more and realizes apple podcasts comes up with titles for each segment on the show. Zuckerberg tries to make his own beef and this makes Ryan furious. There’s a lot boys reminisce about how we used to tenderize meat. Andy tries to invent a sniffing only bordello while Ryan tries to invent discount call girls. Ryan asks Andy what he would do with “evil billionaire money” and it’s so unhinged that ryan gets scared. Andy then decides he will hire Ryan to do all the interviews for him as a billionaire while armed and speaking only in rhymes. Then Ryan describes genitalia in the single dumbest way anyone has ever heard. Then Ryan suggests that Andy hire John C Reilly to play Dr. Steve Brule 24/7 on his mega yacht. Then Ryan wants to open “The O’Neills Presidential Library” that’s just car magazines with a special section where only Ryan is allowed to touch the “good ones”. Then Ryan tries to convince any to build a giant oil pipeline that drains Mars or a village of kids with great hair that billionaires can use for wigs. Then the boys have more voicemail reviews of “Morning Glory Milking Farm”.
July 27 · 59 min
Slop Quest 141 Sweet Berries
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy remembers an old racy flyer he wanted to make for his old sketch troupe. Ryan has a bone to pic with French authors and doesn’t hold back. Ryan won’t even fist bump anymore and Andy filters out a related term on social media so he doesn’t see it. Ryan tries to defend Denzel Washington’s character in “Philadelphia”. Andy compares the movie to “Dumb and Dumber” and shocks Ryan with the fact that Antonio Banderas was in Playgirl. Andy and Ryan come up with a new format for a movie review show. Ryan talks about more childhood vandalism and they imagine him as a famous film maker being interviewed by Terry Gross again. Andy gets a series of truly unhinged voicemails with a review of “Morning Glory Milking Farm” and the boys lose their minds. The boys start with a review of part 2 “Sweet Berries” and Ryan cannot believe what he’s hearing. The story revolves around a “social media manager” for a berry farm who can’t get her libido under control. Ryan has an idea for life size dragon companion doll.
July 20 · 58 min
Slop Quest 140 Dream Echoes
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy has super stupid dream about echoes inspired by late night Slop Quest listening. Then they skewer the business of “dream interpretation”. This leads to Ryan revealing his insane dreams about Al Pacino having big boobs. Andy gets kicked out of therapy for talking about hema and figures out how to get around AI guardrails using linguistic tricks. Andy finds an Instagram account where boomers get tricked into leaving lewd comments on AI videos with their full legal names and get roasted. Andy celebrates his anniversary with Kroger sushi and ice cream. Then there’s more Mandela Effect stuff with “Gorton’s” fish sticks. The boys talk about new Los Angeles fires, this time with toxic smoke! Andy sees an old guy doing something crazy at a nursing home in a window. Then the boys talk about what to save money for when you’re old. Andy sees a 90 year old lady in a thong get into a hot tub at an old folks home across from a much shittier old folks home. Andy finds a hilarious video of Hedonism 2 of a a hilarious guy with a tiny weiner. Ryan thinks that “big condom” has “inflated the mythology of their effectiveness”. The. Work on some new Jimmy Buffet songs like “Sloppers & Sarongs” inspired by Hedonism 2. An Air Canada pilot files 900 flights without a license and Ryan gives him props. Listeners start getting psychic attacks again. An uncle dies and insists his money only be used on trolling. Andy shows his kid the Rambo trailer then immediately shows her the Rambo tricycle for kids commercial and it’s hilarious.
July 13 · 57 min
Slop Quest 139 Fire in My Hole
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan insist his brain is mush because he left a spoon in the blender for five minutes. Andy comes to terms with his subconscious chaos creation. Ryan fantasizes about being a vampire while they fight over who’s classier. Ryan is glad his d*ldo is covered in mustard stains so that he can identify it in a line up. Then he insists Andy would love the smell of the Middle Ages. Andy has his gut flop out during hema sparring and shows Ryan the video proof. Ryan insists that this because The Lord is telling him he’s meant to be a buffoon. Andy asks Ryan for grappling advice. Andy gets mistaken for a homeless guy at an all you can eat buffet. Ryan and Andy talk about being told to change the subject at a restaurant by strangers. This reminds Ryan of find memories of his dad. Ryan mocks Andy’s love life but then gets sad about all the farts. Andy’s worried that he smells like garbage and tries to investigate it then he reveals the toy he wanted as a kid that caused him public shame.
July 6 · 1 hr 2 min
Slop Quest 138 Unmasked
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy can’t get sleep and Ryan berates him for his life decisions. Then he shows Ryan a video of a dude in a mask on Fox News and they pop their tin foil hats on to try and figure it. Ryan praises Andy’s lifestyle of painting comical 3-d printed dongs and podcasts for a living but dissects his total lack of boundaries. Then they pitch an idea for fake experts for news programs. Ryan doesn’t like relationships in Cameron Crowe movies. Ryan gets accosted by an overly friendly boomer while he’s taking a bike ride. Andy has a nightmare that everyone he knows has an Only Fans account and he hates it. The boys significant others enjoy leaving the window open during fires. Ryan’s friend loses all his hair after getting a transplant and gets roasted. Google replaces their dictionary with Ai and it’s hilarious. They talk about communists Russians having to share rifles in WWII. Then they deep dive on reality tv show cast members who;be un-alived themselves. Andy roasts Ryan about some serious humble bragging. Andy finds a hilarious video where a guy crashes out in VR chat and breaks his own hand. Ryan wishes he could get in on the VR chat trolling.
June 29 · 53 min
137 Working Hard For The Money
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy gets a giant bruise on his bicep from hema. Then Ryan roasts him for sparring at a basketball court. Andy reveals that he sword fights with a Zynn in his mouth which gets properly attacked. The boys talk about the American elderly insanity problems. Ryan gets upset at boomers calling the police on kids playing outside. One of Andy’s friends is worried about being stabbed in Europe while never going to Europe. Andy’s extended family can’t stop falling for AI Slop. Ryan has a problem with Vince Neil and goes hard in the paint on him. Andy has an awkward but polite encounter with a celebrity in a strip club bathroom. Andy’s buddy shits his pants in the middle of the strip club then another friend looses his stripper girlfriend to Nicholas Cage. Ryan’s buddy gets a shut streak on his shirt from a lap dance. Andy sees a rural Chinese strip club that makes him horrifically sad. The boys experience the Mandela effect about mosquitoes. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with Oscar Mayer and it really bothers him. After the break the boys deep dive on the Dairy Queen menu ingredients and makes O’Neill sick which leads to hilarious antics.
June 22 · 52 min
Slop Quest 136 Burning Calories
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan deletes another melody from Andy’s brain. The boys use the cost of pizza as a an economic barometer. They lament the cost of food trucks especially compared to brick and mortar restaurants. Then Ryan pitches the idea of a food truck that specializes in spaghetti sandwiches while Andy pitches a Twinkie based sandwich idea. Andy ruins the company YouTube algorithm with hema recommendations. They talk about using durian fruit skin as a hema helmet. Andy reveals the shocking truth behind how calories are actually made and it makes them question the entire science behind nutrition. Then O’Neill fantasizes about how hard Andy would freak out if he saw O’Neill get assassinated. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with stories about Jack Parsons and Ryan brags about sneaking into Devil’s Gate Dam. Ryan talks about how many people walk around with no conscious mind. Andy’s Three Musketeers painted hema mask is mistaken for the “Pringle’s Guy”. After the break the boys talk about China buying Detroit and Andy finds an unhinged Reddit post about a man who wants to bang his therapist and thinks he’s “done with therapy”.
June 15 · 56 min
Slop Quest 135 Acquired Savant
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest A listener writes in that “O’Neill is always right” and it’s true. Then Ryan explains Elon’s trip to China. The boys then break down how little it would take them to to get “f- you” money. The boys come up with an idea for a house with tiny doors in all the walls to fix the pipes with ease. Then they talk about Japanese style sliding doors to access the pipes and electrical. O’Neill is plagued by giant cockroaches in Austin. Andrew does an impression of how white people politely ask someone to not steal their stuff. O’Neill is sick of “cancer awareness” stunts. Andy wants hospitals to give patients “to go bags”of leftover drugs. Ryan tries to invent an uncloggable toilet with garbage disposal. The boys then talk about starting a “comedy plumber” business to brighten people’s days. Then they talk about Ryan’s wish to be an “acquired savant” that he’s had since childhood. Andy wishes Ryan could play the piano and they come up with a video program for forcing people to become acquired savants by straining on the toilet. Andy tries to use his psychic powers to make Ryan’s D itch. Ryan remembers the lyrics to a song better than Andy and it’s devastating.
June 8 · 56 min
Slop Quest 134 Stinkin’ Fart
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan opens the show with the hot take that he doesn’t really like Linkin Park. Then, Andy read an article where they said saying the “r word” comes at a “hefty price”. This leads to them crashing out about how the news is reported. There’s some Presidential scandals throughout history talk and Andy reveals more of the scam economy. It will infuriate you. The boys talk about LAX and how it might be a social experiment for how much humans will put up with. They also talk about American public toilet hygiene problems. Then they delve into why so many schizophrenia sufferers do stuff with doodie stuff. Then Andy explores the world of unhinged racist local business commercials. There’s some alien talk and the boys reveal the secret to keeping your wife attracted to you. Then they come up with a genius idea for custom hot wheels.
June 1 · 1 hr
Slop Quest 133 Durian Ice Cream
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy and Ryan panic as the stream gets choppy then Andy gets a weird HR style email from some corporate dinguses. Ryan thinks there should be upper limit age restrictions to prevent old people losing their marbles. The boys talk about missionaries and why roasting LDS missionaries might be part of a larger plan. They then talk about church scams and boring services. Then they reminisce about door to door salesmen and losing money to Columbia House. Then Andy’s best friend sneaks a subscription to Playboy in order to get a keychain and gets busted by his parents. Then they talk about getting in massive trouble in school and the hell they put their parents through. Andrew falls down in front of his entire class wasted. Ryan fantasizes about being a woman and worries about what he said in another person’s podcast. Andy finds out about a dad’s pipe dream : a terrible Grinch 2 screenplay. O’Neill’s buddy tries to make “bathtub energy drinks” and a few of them go bad. Then they reminisce about the Jolt Cola days and soda brands testing out products on the student population. Ryan forces Andy to try Durian Ice cream live on the show and the results are hilarious. Andy and his family try weird Japanese chips and they do a deep dive on strange food flavors.
May 25 · 59 min
Slop Quest 132 Looks Maxing
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy’s going through it but Ryan tries to cheer him up by telling him to start “bone smashing” for better “looks maxing” then out of nowhere Ryan brings up the Cinnamon Challenge which delights Andy because he just found a trap remix of a British man choking on cinnamon. Andy stays at “Hotel Crapula” in Texas and wears the skin off his toes snorkeling. The boys come up with governor water fountains for food and then realize what unmedicated schizophrenic people would do to them. The boys talk about the rising class of homeless millionaires once they figure out how many precious metals are sitting in data centers. Andy washes his hema gear with vodka and Ryan is convinced he’s just using it as an excuse to drink super cheap vodka. Ryan and Andy find waste management services to be highly suspect. Colorado gets rid of recycling to Ryan’s delight. Then Andy falls asleep listening to the fan reading of “Michael’s By The Sea” and wakes up and immediately writes a new scene for it leading to a potential sequel?
May 18 · 52 min
Slop Quest 131 See Ya Later Alligator
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan verbally attacks voter registration workers then Andy gets cornered by hilt Mormons this leads to a “scientific discussion” by Ryan on religious inbreeding. Then Andy’s ex does some gross cousin stuff. Ryan then heavily censors a similar story mid sentence. The boys reminisce about trying to bang while full of thanksgiving dinner. Then Ryan forces Andy to tell him what kind of underwear he wears before telling him about a new robot suit fighting league. Then Andy updates Ryan on Lana Del Ray’s husband and new blue collar life. This delights Ryan to no end. Even more so when he finds out that their marriage infuriated Reddit Users. Ryan tells an inspirational story about a man within arms or legs that will warm your heart. Then the boys talk about 3d printing novelty doodie piles. Ryan shocks Andy with his love of libraries. Andy shares horror stories of library shenanigans. Then they come up with an insane way to get away with criminal tom foolery. Then Andy finds out the medical reason for his fetishes.
May 11 · 56 min
Slop Quest 130 Aliens of New York
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest The show starts with immediate chicanery from Ryan about Andrew’s art then immediately gets into the rise of New York City as #3 in alien abductions. Then Ryan wants to leave Andy in a field to see if he’ll get abducted. Then the boys review the new health psa about how healthy it is to crank the hog. Ryan gets angry that they didn’t check his prostate during his colonoscopy. Andy dreams about thongs as Ryan explains his plan to capture an alien. Ryan is upset that Andy doesn’t think newspapers report on bestiality that much. Andy gets his ass whooped at HEMA by a veteran and has to power through the defeat. The boys talk about Flowers For Algernon and Pope Leo. Ryan has some conspiracy theories on the Catholic Church while Andy notices how much Ryan smells like hot dogs. Then Ryan freaks out when Andy opens his bathroom window and starts shouting Ryan’s full first and last name while saying there’s doodie everywhere. Andrew gets turned on by breast reduction scars. Ryan imagines how poorly Andrew would do with online dating then impersonates Andy trying to get his brain to turn over like a shitty motor. Electric toothbrushes catch on fire and they freak out about lithium batteries. Ryan uses a selfie stick to talk on the phone. Ryan catches Andy listening to their own podcast again and asserts that Andy must be pretending he’s listening to other people. They talk about how they both thought spontaneous human combustion would be a much bigger deal than it ended up being. Ryan tries to impress high schoolers on the ski lift and this does not go unpunished by Andy.
May 4 · 51 min
Slop Quest 129 Judgment Morning
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan is extremely perplexed that Andy’s family used audio recordings for family memories instead of video until it’s revealed that his family couldn’t film anything without it being hooked up to a television. Ryan believes everyone has herpes and doesn’t believe Babbages existed. Andrew gets a hilarious computer virus in college but the hacker becomes a drug addict. Then Andy gets rowdy at a wedding and gives some intense unsolicited advice to the wedding guests. Ryan tries to convince Andy to become chemically castrated. Ryan then gets stuck on a ski lift with a boomer who can’t stop talking to ChatGPT. Then Ryan tries to get Andy into the latest Love on The Spectrum. Then O’Neill keeps seeing people who look like Epstein. Andy gets mistaken in college for a 5’1 dude who’s 400lbs. Finally, they add some amazing details to their Romantacy novel, “CEO Unicorn”.
April 27 · 55 min
Slop Quest 128 Groin Massage
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill are back with more Slop of all you hungry hogs! The boys talk about the dark world of reality tv family disappointments. Then they do a deep dive on America’s favorite family, theDuggars. Andrew gets a ride from a cab driver wearing a red light therapy cap and hears his life story. Then Andy finds a massage therapist on Instagram who does full body massages using her butt cheeks. O’Neill is back to Bible reading and there’s some Old Testament talk. Japanese Twitter explodes in love of bbq and ass and finally a woman is diagnosed with Car Farts.
April 20 · 55 min
Slop Quest 127 Fake Sloppers
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan tries to analyze Kristi Noem’s husband’s big old fake beefers. Then he floats the idea of I’m flight gloryholes. There’s some micro penis talk. The boys are NOT impressed by the new moon mission. The boys talk about the pitfalls of surgically changing eye color. Then Andy talks about old people partying and doing blow. Then Andy imagines Ryan’s future life in a nursing home. Andy gets pranked by a fan for April Fools. The boys are absolutely delighted by the antics of the Afroman trial. Andy flies on a cheap airline and witnesses two arrests on the same day. Then they pitch a new airline with a focus on scalding hot food called Spaghetti Air which leads to finding the wasted dude who went viral for not being able to stop talking about meatball sandwiches. Then they boys dive deep on alien hybrids.
April 13 · 53 min
Slop Quest 126 Old School Entertainment
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan opens the show by pretending to be Andy in an 80’s sci-fi comedy mix up. O’Neill goes for a quiet hike and realizes how bad his tinnitus is. This leads to some overheard neighbor conversations. Then the boys lament not being smart enough to be successful but not dumb enough to fit in. Ryan can’t sleep after the revelation of what women read in their downtime. O’Neill explains why he’s terrified of bachelorette parties. Then he sees a woman in a short skirt with no panties on and has a wild old man meltdown about it. Then O’Neill gets furious at Scott Kurtz for trying to give sex advice to guys in their twenties. Then Andy laments the death of prank calls. Ryan stages an intervention on Andrew’s gullibility right before he invents an entire documentary out of his imagination.
April 6 · 56 min
Slop Quest 125 O’Neill’s Rap Sheet
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan attacks Andy about sword fighting again. Andy pulls the fake text prank on some kids and it makes O’Neill mad. Then Andy makes black bean brownies and sooooomeone has a problem with it. Then Ryan wants a new show where Andy is fading in and out of consciousness on drugs while Ryan roasts him. Our old screenplay, “Michael’s By The Sea”, gets more screenplay advice from Reddit. Ryan dreams about working with a chimpanzee on a podcast. Ryan tries to convince Andy to fight him but he doesn’t take the bate. Then in an amazing turn of events , Ryan’s brother finds an actual Valparaiso police report of his antics. It’s unbelievable.
March 30 · 56 min
Slop Quest 124 Tree Well The Musical
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy and Ryan create a new musical theater sensation based on real life events: Tree Well, The Musical. The fantastic musical incorporates the amazing staging techniques of “Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark” and unbelievable improvisational performances by cellphone calls from his comedy friends. Then they float the idea of getting James Cameron to spend a billion and a half dollars on the film adaptation. Then Andy gets advice from people who don’t live in Los Angeles on how to cold approach a celebrity to get his career off the ground. Ryan tries to get Andy to become a corpse sniffing dog but human. Then Google AI gives the boys the feeblest rundown on other cultures’ practices to the point we don’t think google actually did any of its homework. This gets even more unhinged when they ask for a report on American culture especially when it gets to Southern culture. Then they lambast a new redpill married loser dude.
March 23 · 54 min
Slop Quest 123 Fat History Month
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy tries to implement Ryan’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” approach to life. Then the boys talk about the “Fatties of History” as well as implementing “Fat History Month”. There’s some discussion on male hygiene then they move on to Conan O’Brien conspiracy theories. Then they talk about how Earl Skakel was robbed of a late night hosting gig. Then they talk about using stem cells for penis enlargement. This leads to some amazing business ideas. Then Andy expresses his dark thoughts to his old school Chicago PCP. Then they talk about the efficacy of paper on doctor tables. Andy has an unsubstantiated conspiracy theory about a cast member of The Office. Then Andy finds out about the “tiny people mushroom hallucinations “ and it blows Ryan’s mind. Then Andy has to poop in a paper hat at the doctors office and has the dump of a lifetime. Then Ryan makes Andy dry heave with a new cpr technique. Then the boys find an article about how it’s abusive to open up to your girlfriend.