Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Welcome to Slop Quest! A show so ridiculous it'll feel like your brain got kicked in the nutz. Hosted by Ryan O'Neill and Andrew DeWitt.

Play

Open in

34 episodes
weekly
Avg 58 min
English

Episodes 34

Newest Oldest Longest

All20 Unplayed20 In progress0 Played0

Counted on this page — what you have heard stays on this device, so it is not something the list can be paged by.

#156
Yesterday · 1 hr
Slop Quest 156 Fish Tank Hack
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest Andy and Ryan cover the importance of boundary-setting in personal life, living with bags of cat shit and unfolded laundry. Ryan tries desperately to help Andy. Then Ryan warns us about the Max Factor guy and his responsibility bringing Dog The Bounty Hunter to light. The boys talk about self driving cars and hacking fish tanks at casinos. Then the boys share stories of their most racist cab drivers. Andy has more HEMA dreams where no one remembers who he is and has to start over as a sword fighter. Then he volunteers to do a HEMA demonstration and Ryan rips on him so hard. Then they pitch a rub and tug escape room with zombies for Halloween this turns into a holiday themed happy ending massage parlor that also gives out hams and turkeys to underprivileged husbands. The boys then imagine a dating app where every guy on there is a 6 foot plus billionaire but they all look like Sloth from The Goonies. Ryan tries to unite femcels with incels. Andy reveals the airbase that’s responsible for millions of Reddit accounts. Then they have Google Gemini try and sell them on a tour of North Korea.
#155
November 2 · 54 min
Slop quest 155 Breatherians
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest The boys talk about how Ai accounts are stealing comedy bits and weight lifting/martial arts bits. Andy has a bone to pick with Ai porn and its inability to accurately depict human anatomy. Then they talk about the ramifications of being able to turn off your sperm. Billy Joel gets concussions from playing concerts and Ryan is not having it. Then they talk about their homies who’ve been on SNL. Ryan recounts stories of Holtzman performing at Madison Square Garden and he gives Ryan a lamented Bible verse. Ryan tests out his new Bible material. A female listener reaches out to Andy to say how upset she is that her husband won’t let her “hold it while he pees”. Ryan wants to know how Rip Torn continued to get work and doesn’t want to normalize pregnancy in your 50’s. Andy drops some “breatharian scams” on a delighted Ryan. The boys talk about the insanity of the 911 shows. Ryan falls for “police car auction” scams. Andy talks about how Satanic Panic affected school mascots. This leads to a rebranding of school mascots with brain rot icons. Then they talk about non-profits that smuggle albinos to safety. The boys then discuss the impracticality of the flying Tesla. It’s good fun!
#154
October 26 · 1 hr
Slop Quest 154 Hand Foot & Fun!
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan gets sick as hell off hand, foot and mouth disease and Andy gets paranoid. Ryan has a rude awakening after a guy takes dump at the airport and then he gets stuck on the plane. The boys find out that India is bidding to host the Olympics and tie it to a Sex in the City episodes. Then Andy talks about the phenomenon of unlicensed tattoo parlors. The Burbank Butt Sniffer is back and apparently sniffing butts is “against company policy”. There’s a major update about Big Earl’s special. The butt sniffer talk leads to a legal examination of illegal farts. This becomes a legal deep dive with some of the top minds in podcasting. Andy finds a Tubi movie where bbws then Ryan has a bone to pick with Kelly Clarkson. Then Andy’s buddy pays money to catch objects thst fall out of a stripper’s body. It’s a good one!
#153
October 19 · 57 min
Slop Quest 153 Valdictfartian
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan sarcastically tries to gas up Andy at the start of the show then Ryan pretends to have received several phoney commissions. Ryan is mad that people hate on Sidney Sweeney then asserts that bodies are e-signed primarily for sex. Ryan gets mad and Andy for being “too predictable” about butts. Then they pitch a Mitch McConnell gambling ad where a naked Sidney Sweeney sits on his lap and ties to make him wake up to gamble. Delaware gives a hotel the right to vote. Oracle lays off a ton of people with a mass email that no one got. Then the boys pitch hiring “Gump and Sons” to build a huge tug boat that drains the diarrhea from air craft carriers. Andy talks about underground cities to an incredulous Ryan. Ryan wants to run an office where people have to burn their hands after taking a dump. The boys talk a little about American history then Andy discovers a modern day Confucius and finds another vr troll to delight Ryan. Andy gets mistaken for a criminal homeless man by bounty hunters. Then any imagines a fictional confrontation between Ryan and bounty hunters without a warrant.
#151
October 12 · 1 hr 4 min
Slop Quest 151 Fart Deer
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest It’s sweaty as hell in the studio and the boys are struggling. Ryan farts in front of a deer and it judges the fuck out of him. The boys speculate about the new Elizabeth Homes documentary. This leads them to break down sociopaths with their particular brand of arm chair psychology. Then Ryan reveals his theory on why rich people jails exist. Andy gets his ass best on the news during hema class and this delights Ryan to no end. Andy then describes Buhurt to Ryan who refuses to recognize it as being close mma. Then they fantasize about how badly Andy would draw after a series of massive concussions. This leads them to discuss the most respectful way to euthanize Andy. This gets worse when Andy accidentally drives to his daughter’s school instead of Ryan’s apartment. Ryan accidentally throws his sunglasses case out the window after he puts his sunglasses on and Andy accidentally throws away his sleep medication and has to fish it out of the trash. Ryan talks about the epidemic of white guys with sloppy low hangers while Andy tries to fix is “escaping ballsack” problem. Then Ryan blames the judgmental deer for his mean man behavior. Andy reveals the secret to his happy marriage which makes Ryan compare him to train car hobo. Andy tries to convince him he’s not a hobo but fails when it’s revealed he eats beans right out of the tin. Then Andy has a classic meltdown about Ryan’s “compliments”. Andy reveals the story of a a killer sheep dog. Then the boys lament how creepy the scoliosis test being done in public at gym time. Then the boys talk about gay twins.
#152
October 12 · 1 hr 2 min
Slop Quest 152 Batman Dog Doodie
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan tries to derail the intro completely and Andy is not having it. Andy shows up on time and Ryan roasts him for it and suggests that Andy should do hard drugs in his car before the show. Ryan is addicted to Spin Drifts and is worried about the losing his teeth. Fran tempts Andy into moving into his warehouse with instant oatmeal. Andy has a rough morning which delights Ryan to know end. Andy drives over a bag of dog shit and gets it glued to his tire. Ryan and Andy break down how much dog shit is on the streets of Los Angeles. Then they pitch a Batman movie where all the bad guys leave dog shit everywhere. Then the pitch a Batman who hangs out on Only Fans and Reddit all day. Then Batman gets confused by virtual reality about whether or not he banged Harley Quinn and spends his day arguing with Grok and Alfred loses a million and a half dollars in google play gift cards to phone scammers. Andy finds out that men seek admiration and women seek adoration but he thinks his is reversed. Ryan will not accept compliments on his meals. Ryan asks why firefighters don’t use raw sewage to fight fires. Andy reasserts that fat guys who eat butt absolutely munch box too and he’s sick of the incorrect assumptions. Andy has a new game where he puppets his wife’s butt cheeks like they’re arguing with each other. Ryan says Andy should be in a freak show but not a “good one”. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with a picture of George Bush sr.’s wife.
#150
September 28 · 59 min
Slop Quest 150 Grand Canyon
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy has a dream that Ryan got his wife to marry him by taking D pics at the Grand Canyon. Ryan laments the loss of school busses while Andy has a rough morning taking his kid to school. Andy gets hit with a broom by his bus driver and learns an important life lesson. Ryan gets creeped out by his gym teacher and the boys talk about how insane middle school architecture is. Andy gets nervous about doodie stains so he uses a measuring cup in the bath. Ryan fantasizes about Andy’s parents killing him. Andy reveals a secret journal tracking certain changes and Ryan loses it. Andy is going to a puppet birthday party and Ryan is livid. Ryan wants to create a personification of Andy’s brain to watch what it would do. The boys talk about celebrities slumming it with gambling ads. Andy and Ryan do impressions of Morgan Freeman doing ads for ridiculous bullshit. The boys talk about how great they feel eating garbage. Ryan comes up with an idea for bj monkey meat that Andy does not approve. Ryan and Andy then discuss the Crusades with excellent historical detail.
#149
September 21 · 1 hr 3 min
Slop quest 149 Low Level Crazies
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan gets accosted by a lady hell bent on celebrity love. Then they rip on dues and ladies publicly hitting on people in replies on social media and the total lack of personal accountability by insane people. Andy and Ryan talk about how to build an egalitarian society where everyone’s a social loser. Their solution: tall muscular ladies who intimidate female stalkers and more roasting of reply guys. A lady tries to pay Andy for art in used panties but Andy likes being able to pay rent. Then they come up with a business idea for detectives who solve alcohol deaths. Then they talk about how bad Ryan would be as a police negotiator. The boys then talk about how bad of deal statistically reincarnation is. Andy plugs Gnostic Christianity to a surprisingly receptive Ryan. Andy introduces Ryan to a 90’s preacher who thinks Pokémon is satanic. Then the boys rip on religious math nonsense. A schizophrenic guy gives Ryan a dire warning while he’s hiking. Then they come up with grocery store dildo pranks. Ryan calls Bang Bus the “Blair Witch Project” of porn. Andy drinks magnesium before bed and it gives him crazy dreams then feels betrayed by Ryan who initially recommended it to him and is now gaslighting him. The. Andy has a harrowing experience on the Facebook Buy Nothing group and it’s so humiliating Ryan can hardly listen to it.
#148
September 14 · 1 hr 2 min
Slop Quest 148 Butt Spit Take
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy starts eating eggs when he runs out of tofu and quickly realizes his stomach can no longer process it. Ryan muses on pumping meat sauce down his bathroom sink and wiping with aluminum foil. Andy figures out why tits are growing out of his ass then has a meltdown trying to paint titties on a pin up statuette. Ryan figures out a business idea for being a tit doctor that only works on strippers. The boys talk about the legal loopholes for bottom nudity in states that make it illegal. The boys then come up with an idea for “educational strip clubs” where you have to stay in the club until you answer anatomy questions. Andy recommends that Ryan respond to messages from his ex for the lols. Then they talk about the cyclical nature of idiotic relationships. Andy has a revelation about his relationship and Ryan forgets that he kissed Andy’s belly. Andy pitches a podcast where he does bits with his wife while they fuck and Ryan is behind a screen also doing bits. They talk about the robot lady who shocks Trump while he’s sleeping during a press conference. Ryan worries that using Chinese stars to defend his apartment. There’s some human hunting talk and wasting helicopter fuel watching ladies sunbathe naked on Los Angeles roofs. Then they fantasize about Andy being a race car driver who eats chicken wings and shits through a hole in the car floor during races.
#147
September 7 · 1 hr 5 min
Slop Quest 147 Legal Debate
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest The boys open the show with impressions of Sean Connery being racist. This leads to garrison Keillor impressions. There’s some medi-evac talk. Then they talk about how bad they would both be as spies. Then they talk about why fighter pilots need two people in the cockpit: to operate the cd player and George Formen grills. Ryan insists that scientists don’t know how wings work. Then they come up with a curriculum for fighter pilot school. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with the idea of a “provisional license” and is finally proven right on a fact. Ryan reveals that he would be a bad father because he wouldn’t let his kid touch his Porsche posters with syrup all over their hands. Ryan then invents a shower bidet that’s just a slightly smaller shower for your ass. Andy falls in love with Sword and Buckler while Ryan makes fun of his “tiny little shield”. Ryan, Andy and Google AI get into a heated argument about Bang Bus. This leads to an argument over the legality of blasting fuck noises on giant speakers throughout a neighborhood. This leads to a crash out where Ryan tells google Ai that Andy has an iq of 82. This crescendos with Andy absolutely losing his shit on Ryan and screaming at him.
#146
August 31 · 1 hr 2 min
Slop Quest 146 Delta Hate
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest The boys talk about the absurd Texas crack down on Delta -8 THC then Andy worries about Ryan being a bad boy. Ryan insists that street fighting is the dumbest idea. Andy figures out a way to charm his way out of crime. Andy reveals the shocking truth about Bang Bus to a heartbroken Ryan and the shocking legal case that decided it. Ryan then reveals the macabre realities of living on a farm. Andy uncovers the truth about lab grown meat to a disgusted Ryan and they milk this disgusting bit forever…and the facts are truly disgusting and unsettling.
#145
August 24 · 1 hr
Slop Quest 145 Hillary Buff
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan accuses Andy of being too horny to drive and then recounts a time one of his buddies wrecked his car looking at a hot chick. Andy gets bamboozled by a monster hog at a stoplight. Ryan tries a fake Andy out with a bogus The Rock Mandela effect. Andy gets confused about when to record and sleeps in. Ryan imagines Los Angeles delivery robots offing themselves due to traffic on the 405. Ryan roasts Andy for how he handles podcasting solo. Andy has a dream about seeing the pods from The Matrix. Ryan asserts that he would fight the robot overlords and Andy would sell out humanity for big butts. Ryan comes up with an idea for an app that forces important emails into the spam folder to CYA. Andy gets a comment from long time listener, “Bloody Turd”. Andy and Ryan dissect thirsty Reddit comments. Ryan fantasizes about writing a pickup artist book. Ryan finds out that Hillary Duff is jacked now. Ryan then roasts Andy’s google investigation skills. Andy is not impressed with Ryan’s “Hema, more like FEMA” wordplay. RFJ Jr. starts a “cheap food” cooking show. Los Angeles starts to feel the pressure as all the pipes from 1914 start to burst. Andy’s buddy tries to make a candle out of George Foreman beef grease. Andy ruins the shared waffle maker by trying to make protein powder waffles. The boys bring back some Garrison Keillor impressions. Ryan tries to come up with his boxing name. Andy recommends the Netflix anime, Chainsmoker Cat. Then Andy gets into a Pluderhosen argument post hema.
#144
August 17 · 1 hr 1 min
Slop Quest 144 Jerry’s Funeral
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan and Andy address some good and bad comments. Andy hears from an old Beach Cops host and it’s actually pretty nice. An episode of Slop Quest comes on Andy’s car stereo at a bad time. Ryan suggests more baby doll chicanery and Andy isn’t having it. Andy goes to Jerry’s funeral and Big Earl Skakel surprises Andy from behind by heckling heartfelt speakers directly into Andy’s ear and it’s so inappropriate and hilarious that Andy has to stare at the floor the entire time. Comedians come out of the woodwork to talk about Jerry’s passing without realizing Jerry hated them. Earl comments on the quality of the babes at Jerry’s funeral and Andy and Mike Black eat an entire plate of pizza at the memorial. Earl then talks about how big his dick is in the middle of the service. Andy finds his old martial arts supply catalogue and Ryan and him reminisce about the “Ninja Industry”. Ryan loses all his Chinese stars at airport security and it puts a heavy dent in his collection. Ryan has a Mandela effect for “infront”as one word. Ryan has to review video footage of his kitchen to remember he turned off the stove. Ryan has a problem with teenagers and their confidence with their ideas. Andy comes up with a new comic idea where witches can only cast spells via their farts and Ryan roasts the shit out of him. Ryan tries to convince Andy to change the title. Ryan pitches his karate microdrama where he does karate from a wheelchair.
August 10 · 55 min
Slop Quest 143 Feels Good
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest The show starts with some handsome boy talk and Andy is nervous that Ryan has norovirus but Ryan insists it’s just food poisoning. The boys debate Diarhea vs puking and the social stigmas associated with each one. Ryan finds a hospital vomit accordion. There’s some debate about the romance of farting in front of your partner. Andy confuses Ryan with an incoherent text confirming recording. Andy’s hema class goes dark because they weren’t fighting hard enough to trigger the motion censor. Then he gets hit with a basketball while doing sword fighting. Ryan figures out his food poisoning came from a doodie coconut. Andy breaks down how to get a sanitary slurpee at 7-11. Then Andy talks about the new opera based homeless deterrent conscience stores are using. Ryan has another Mandela Meltdown about a Moonpie. Andy sees some amazing background actor bullshit. Ryan shares some Scary Perry extra stories. Andy meets a parent who only feeds her kid go-gurt and Uncrustables. Ryan talks about how skinny people were in the 70’s. Then Ryan talks about a special code of conduct with the mafia. Then they roast that dude who;s trying to live forever with vitamins. Then Ryan pitches putting the “interesting” guy from Love On The Spectrum together with the guy who’s trying to live forever as a reality show. Then Andy and Ryan pitch a fitness based pizza company called “Medical Pizzas”. Andy has a rabbit based psychic attack in his dreams. Then they roast boys are shocked at how much wearing a suit changes things. Then they worry about people overhearing the phrase , “mothman eating pussy”. Then Andy absolutely loses it at the idea of Ryan treating him well.
#142
August 3 · 57 min
Slop Quest 142 Shamilton Billionaire Beef
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy realizes he’s about to be friends with a lot more furries. Ryan talks about how difficult it is for him to be attracted to women in giant costumes with a butt flap. Then Ryan proposes a WW2 musical that Andy finds dubious at best. There’s a lot of “rhyming only one word” musical improv. Ryan is convinced that the idea is “gold”. However, some of the lyrics are…not great. Andy listens to his own show more and realizes apple podcasts comes up with titles for each segment on the show. Zuckerberg tries to make his own beef and this makes Ryan furious. There’s a lot boys reminisce about how we used to tenderize meat. Andy tries to invent a sniffing only bordello while Ryan tries to invent discount call girls. Ryan asks Andy what he would do with “evil billionaire money” and it’s so unhinged that ryan gets scared. Andy then decides he will hire Ryan to do all the interviews for him as a billionaire while armed and speaking only in rhymes. Then Ryan describes genitalia in the single dumbest way anyone has ever heard. Then Ryan suggests that Andy hire John C Reilly to play Dr. Steve Brule 24/7 on his mega yacht. Then Ryan wants to open “The O’Neills Presidential Library” that’s just car magazines with a special section where only Ryan is allowed to touch the “good ones”. Then Ryan tries to convince any to build a giant oil pipeline that drains Mars or a village of kids with great hair that billionaires can use for wigs. Then the boys have more voicemail reviews of “Morning Glory Milking Farm”.
#141
July 27 · 59 min
Slop Quest 141 Sweet Berries
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy remembers an old racy flyer he wanted to make for his old sketch troupe. Ryan has a bone to pic with French authors and doesn’t hold back. Ryan won’t even fist bump anymore and Andy filters out a related term on social media so he doesn’t see it. Ryan tries to defend Denzel Washington’s character in “Philadelphia”. Andy compares the movie to “Dumb and Dumber” and shocks Ryan with the fact that Antonio Banderas was in Playgirl. Andy and Ryan come up with a new format for a movie review show. Ryan talks about more childhood vandalism and they imagine him as a famous film maker being interviewed by Terry Gross again. Andy gets a series of truly unhinged voicemails with a review of “Morning Glory Milking Farm” and the boys lose their minds. The boys start with a review of part 2 “Sweet Berries” and Ryan cannot believe what he’s hearing. The story revolves around a “social media manager” for a berry farm who can’t get her libido under control. Ryan has an idea for life size dragon companion doll.
#140
July 20 · 58 min
Slop Quest 140 Dream Echoes
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy has super stupid dream about echoes inspired by late night Slop Quest listening. Then they skewer the business of “dream interpretation”. This leads to Ryan revealing his insane dreams about Al Pacino having big boobs. Andy gets kicked out of therapy for talking about hema and figures out how to get around AI guardrails using linguistic tricks. Andy finds an Instagram account where boomers get tricked into leaving lewd comments on AI videos with their full legal names and get roasted. Andy celebrates his anniversary with Kroger sushi and ice cream. Then there’s more Mandela Effect stuff with “Gorton’s” fish sticks. The boys talk about new Los Angeles fires, this time with toxic smoke! Andy sees an old guy doing something crazy at a nursing home in a window. Then the boys talk about what to save money for when you’re old. Andy sees a 90 year old lady in a thong get into a hot tub at an old folks home across from a much shittier old folks home. Andy finds a hilarious video of Hedonism 2 of a a hilarious guy with a tiny weiner. Ryan thinks that “big condom” has “inflated the mythology of their effectiveness”. The. Work on some new Jimmy Buffet songs like “Sloppers & Sarongs” inspired by Hedonism 2. An Air Canada pilot files 900 flights without a license and Ryan gives him props. Listeners start getting psychic attacks again. An uncle dies and insists his money only be used on trolling. Andy shows his kid the Rambo trailer then immediately shows her the Rambo tricycle for kids commercial and it’s hilarious.
#139
July 13 · 57 min
Slop Quest 139 Fire in My Hole
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan insist his brain is mush because he left a spoon in the blender for five minutes. Andy comes to terms with his subconscious chaos creation. Ryan fantasizes about being a vampire while they fight over who’s classier. Ryan is glad his d*ldo is covered in mustard stains so that he can identify it in a line up. Then he insists Andy would love the smell of the Middle Ages. Andy has his gut flop out during hema sparring and shows Ryan the video proof. Ryan insists that this because The Lord is telling him he’s meant to be a buffoon. Andy asks Ryan for grappling advice. Andy gets mistaken for a homeless guy at an all you can eat buffet. Ryan and Andy talk about being told to change the subject at a restaurant by strangers. This reminds Ryan of find memories of his dad. Ryan mocks Andy’s love life but then gets sad about all the farts. Andy’s worried that he smells like garbage and tries to investigate it then he reveals the toy he wanted as a kid that caused him public shame.
July 6 · 1 hr 2 min
Slop Quest 138 Unmasked
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy can’t get sleep and Ryan berates him for his life decisions. Then he shows Ryan a video of a dude in a mask on Fox News and they pop their tin foil hats on to try and figure it. Ryan praises Andy’s lifestyle of painting comical 3-d printed dongs and podcasts for a living but dissects his total lack of boundaries. Then they pitch an idea for fake experts for news programs. Ryan doesn’t like relationships in Cameron Crowe movies. Ryan gets accosted by an overly friendly boomer while he’s taking a bike ride. Andy has a nightmare that everyone he knows has an Only Fans account and he hates it. The boys significant others enjoy leaving the window open during fires. Ryan’s friend loses all his hair after getting a transplant and gets roasted. Google replaces their dictionary with Ai and it’s hilarious. They talk about communists Russians having to share rifles in WWII. Then they deep dive on reality tv show cast members who;be un-alived themselves. Andy roasts Ryan about some serious humble bragging. Andy finds a hilarious video where a guy crashes out in VR chat and breaks his own hand. Ryan wishes he could get in on the VR chat trolling.
#137
June 29 · 53 min
137 Working Hard For The Money
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy gets a giant bruise on his bicep from hema. Then Ryan roasts him for sparring at a basketball court. Andy reveals that he sword fights with a Zynn in his mouth which gets properly attacked. The boys talk about the American elderly insanity problems. Ryan gets upset at boomers calling the police on kids playing outside. One of Andy’s friends is worried about being stabbed in Europe while never going to Europe. Andy’s extended family can’t stop falling for AI Slop. Ryan has a problem with Vince Neil and goes hard in the paint on him. Andy has an awkward but polite encounter with a celebrity in a strip club bathroom. Andy’s buddy shits his pants in the middle of the strip club then another friend looses his stripper girlfriend to Nicholas Cage. Ryan’s buddy gets a shut streak on his shirt from a lap dance. Andy sees a rural Chinese strip club that makes him horrifically sad. The boys experience the Mandela effect about mosquitoes. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with Oscar Mayer and it really bothers him. After the break the boys deep dive on the Dairy Queen menu ingredients and makes O’Neill sick which leads to hilarious antics.

Showing 1–20 of 34 episodes