Sisters In Sobriety

The Midlife Body With Dr. Shawna Darou

Midlife can make a woman feel as though her body has suddenly changed the rules—but those changes are not a personal failure, and they are not “just aging.” In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen help unpack the relationship between perimenopause, metabolic health, alcohol, blood sugar, stress and movement with Dr. Shawna Darou, ND. A naturopathic doctor with more than 20 years of experience, Dr. Darou translates complex women’s health information into clear, practical steps for building strength and vitality through midlife and beyond. Why does alcohol suddenly hit harder in midlife? What do belly weight, brain fog, disrupted sleep, afternoon fatigue and persistent food noise reveal about insulin resistance? How can women use GLP-1 medications and continuous glucose monitors more responsibly—and why can excessive fasting or carbohydrate restriction backfire? The conversation also explores sugar cravings in early sobriety, chronic stress, menopause and the habits that support long-term metabolic health. Dr. Darou explains why menopause is a metabolic transition, not only an estrogen transition; how alcohol interrupts nighttime blood sugar regulation and fat oxidation; and why muscle acts as a “metabolic sink.” She shares a realistic starting point: prioritize protein, add daily movement, walk after meals and build strength gradually. Flexible consistency, proper recovery and movement that feels genuinely enjoyable matter more than perfection. Dr. Darou also shares her unexpected evolution from engineer to naturopathic doctor—and from someone who did not identify as an athlete to a competitive runner who began racing at 50. Her story challenges narrow ideas about aging and shows how confidence, community and ambitious new goals can emerge later in life. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Timestamp Highlights 01:00 — Meet Dr. Shawna Darou 02:00 — From engineering to women’s health 05:00 — The pandemic’s metabolic impact 06:00 — Movement as a longevity lever 07:00 — Becoming an athlete at 49 09:00 — Why women over 40 need new possibilities 13:00 — Metabolic health beyond weight 15:00 — Early signs of metabolic dysfunction 17:00 — How insulin resistance fuels cravings 18:00 — Reversing dysfunction without diet culture 20:00 — GLP-1 benefits and risks 23:00 — Why midlife changes the rules 26:00 — Using a continuous glucose monitor responsibly 32:00 — Chronic stress and blood sugar 35:00 — What alcohol does metabolically 38:00 — Why alcohol hits harder in midlife 39:00 — Sugar cravings in early recovery 41:00 — The “yes with a boundary” approach 47:00 — Protein and post-meal movement 56:00 — Flexible consistency, intensity and recovery Dr. Darou’s Links Website — www.drshawnadarou.com Instagram — @drshawnadarou SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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Getting Sober, Coming Out, and Starting Over With Braunwyn Spinner

What happens when alcohol feels like the only way to become comfortable in your own skin? In this episode, Sonia is joined by Braunwyn Spinner, advocate, mother of seven, and former Real Housewives of Orange County cast member whose sobriety unfolded in public. How can someone go years without alcohol and still have a serious drinking problem? What changes when a social life—and a television career—is built around drinking? Braunwyn and Sonia explore relapse, alcohol withdrawal, AA and the 12 steps, sober socializing, queer recovery spaces, codependency, parenting, and the difference between avoiding alcohol and developing emotional sobriety. They also ask why getting sober can initially feel worse, how to identify the “fun limit,” and what it means to choose recovery when relationships and routines begin to change. Their conversation makes clear that alcohol dependence is not defined only by how often a person drinks, but by what happens after the first drink. They discuss why heavy withdrawal should never be attempted alone, how independent transportation and an exit plan can protect early sobriety, and why repeatedly stopping for a few days can mean reliving the hardest stage again and again. Recovery can include community, boundaries, therapy, medication, and learning to recognize the restless “wanting” beneath substitute compulsions. Braunwyn also shares the deeply personal story behind her first drink at 14, the moment in Miami that ended her drinking, and the sober producer who helped get her into an AA meeting when she planned to relapse. She opens up about realizing she was gay in sobriety, leaving a decades-long marriage, co-parenting, becoming more present with her children, surviving a mental health crisis, returning to television, and loosening the hold of beauty standards and the male gaze. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:01 – Braunwyn introduces herself in a new chapter as Braunwyn Spinner 00:02 – Why her first drink made her feel comfortable in her skin 00:04 – The difference between abstinence and working a recovery program 00:05 – Why time between drinks does not rule out alcohol addiction 00:07 – How reality television accelerated her drinking 00:09 – The “God shot” that told her drinking had to end 00:12 – Sonia’s final drink and the unexpected day sobriety began 00:14 – What the first 30 days can feel like 00:16 – The sober producer who helped save Braunwyn’s life 00:19 – Finding comfort instead of judgment in AA 00:21 – Sobriety, stillness, and realizing she was gay 00:23 – Protecting early recovery with a private room, car, and exit plan 00:24 – Recognizing the sober “fun limit” 00:27 – Braunwyn’s first sober kiss with a woman 00:29 – How sobriety exposed codependency and changed her marriage 00:34 – Parenting with presence and making living amends 00:36 – Why emotional health can feel worse before it gets better 00:38 – Queer identity, religious trauma, and addiction risk 00:42 – Recognizing substitute addictions and the feeling of “wanting” 00:52 – Why giving sobriety six weeks can change everything Braunwyn's Links 📸 Instagram SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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Early Sobriety: What No One Tells You About the First 90 Days With Girl, Undrunk

Early sobriety can feel euphoric, terrifying, lonely and unexpectedly funny—sometimes all in the same day. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore what the first days and months without alcohol actually look like and share practical ways to manage cravings, triggers and life after rehab. They are joined by Heather Chappell and Zoe Kachan, host and co-host of Girl, Undrunk, the raw, unfiltered sobriety podcast that finds humor in the highs, lows and messiness of recovery. What happens when someone returns from rehab to the same apartment, routines and drinking cues they left behind? How do friendships change when alcohol is no longer the thing holding them together? Heather and Zoe discuss the “rehab high,” the fear of relapse, sober community, dating without alcohol and the surprising challenge of discovering who they are when drinking is no longer shaping their personalities. The conversation examines emotional sobriety, mental health and the slow work of developing coping skills that alcohol once replaced. Heather and Zoe explain how meetings, sponsorship, therapy, firm boundaries and supportive sober friendships helped them build safer lives. They also share simple approaches to cravings: staying in the present, following the possible consequences of a drink from beginning to end, leaving overwhelming situations and naming uncomfortable feelings out loud. Heather and Zoe also open up about the experiences that led them to treatment, from isolation and deteriorating health to job loss, a DUI and repeated hospital visits. Their stories continue beyond getting sober, revealing the anger, trauma and relationship patterns that resurfaced in recovery. An honest discussion of sober intimacy explores how the body can carry fear even when the mind feels safe—and why patience, communication and self-trust matter while learning to date and connect without alcohol. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 02:00 Heather’s loneliness, anxiety and escalating drinking in New York 05:00 The call that finally took Heather to rehab 06:00 Zoe’s early drinking, drug use and need to fit in 09:00 A DUI, hospital visits and Zoe’s last attempt to start over 11:00 Leaving rehab and facing the first 90 days 12:00 Resisting an early craving at the dog park 13:00 Building a protective routine around high-risk hours 15:00 Discovering that personality and humor survive sobriety 17:00 Relearning adulthood after years of drinking 19:00 Mental health, emotional sobriety and alcohol as a coping mechanism 21:00 Meetings, sponsorship and rebuilding confidence 22:00 Therapy, anger and confronting the past without alcohol 24:00 Everyday triggers and rewiring the brain 26:00 Leaving unsafe situations and setting firm boundaries 29:00 How sobriety changes friendships 32:00 The chance meeting that brought Heather and Zoe together 40:00 Dating, relapse and protecting early recovery 44:00 Sober intimacy, dissociation and learning to trust the body 49:00 Day-one advice and how to name a craving Girl, Undrunk Links Instagram SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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Trapped Emotions, Alcohol Cravings, and the Heart Wall With Dr. Bradley Nelson

Can unresolved emotional pain influence alcohol cravings, addictive behaviors, and the way the body experiences stress? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia speaks with Dr. Bradley Nelson, holistic physician and bestselling author of The Emotion Code, The Body Code, and The Heart Code, about his approach to identifying and releasing what he calls “trapped emotions.” Why can someone understand a harmful pattern and still feel unable to change it? Could addiction be less about the substance itself and more about an attempt to soothe emotional pain? Dr. Nelson shares his perspective on the subconscious mind, biofeedback, muscle testing, alcohol cravings, and the “heart wall”—a protective emotional barrier he believes can form after heartbreak, grief, trauma, or loss. The conversation explores how emotions may go unprocessed, how present-day triggers can connect with earlier experiences, and why Dr. Nelson views symptoms as messages rather than root causes. He demonstrates the sway test, explains the Emotion Code chart, and describes his process for narrowing down an emotion, deciding whether more context is needed, and using a magnet or hand movement to release it. These practices are presented as Dr. Nelson’s energy-healing framework and are not a substitute for evidence-based medical, mental health, or addiction care. Dr. Nelson also opens up about the childhood experiences that shaped his path, including a serious case of measles, kidney disease, and an early encounter with holistic practitioners in rural Montana. He traces the journey from computer programmer to chiropractor and shares stories that led him to connect physical symptoms, heartbreak, compulsive behavior, and emotional healing—including accounts involving chronic pain, food cravings, and alcohol use. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00 — Dr. Bradley Nelson and the concept of trapped emotions 02:00 — Childhood healing experiences and belief in a higher power 05:00 — From computer programming to the healing arts 06:00 — Searching for the roots of patients’ symptoms 07:00 — Addiction as a response to emotional pain 09:00 — The subconscious mind as the body’s internal computer 11:00 — Muscle testing and yes-or-no biofeedback 13:00 — How emotions may become “trapped” in the body 16:00 — Emotional baggage, anxiety, PTSD, and addictive behavior 18:00 — The overflowing-glass metaphor for emotional pain 20:00 — How the “heart wall” may relate to addiction 22:00 — Why the heart is viewed as more than a pump 26:00 — A patient story connecting heartbreak and chronic neck pain 29:00 — Introducing the ring-in-ring method and sway test 36:00 — Using the Emotion Code chart to identify an emotion 38:00 — Closing an emotional “open loop” 42:00 — How emotional baggage may drive cravings 45:00 — A story about alcohol urges and releasing the heart wall 48:00 — True healing versus symptom relief 51:00 — A small next step and where to learn more Dr. Bradley's Links Instagram Website SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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What Traditional Addiction Treatment Gets Wrong About Women With Dr. Stephanie Covington

Addiction treatment has not always been designed with women in mind—and that can profoundly shape how women experience recovery. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by Dr. Stephanie S. Covington, internationally recognized clinician, author, and pioneer in addiction and trauma treatment, whose groundbreaking work includes A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps, Helping Women Recover, Beyond Trauma, and Awaken Your Sexuality. Why do traditional addiction treatment and Twelve Step programs sometimes fail to reflect women’s actual experiences? How are trauma, relationships, sexuality, shame, and addiction connected? Dr. Covington examines why recovery can look different for women, what conventional relapse prevention may overlook, and why community and connection are so essential. She also discusses the gaps in addiction treatment within jails and prisons, the importance of continuity of care after incarceration, and why she prefers the term “criminal legal system” over “criminal justice system.” The conversation breaks down the relationship between childhood trauma, genetics, emotional development, substance use, and relapse. Dr. Covington explains when trauma and addiction may need to be treated simultaneously, the difference between trauma-informed, trauma-responsive, and trauma-specific care, and the powerful shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” She also offers a gender-responsive perspective on the Twelve Steps, reframing concepts like the Fourth Step in ways that can reduce shame and help women see themselves more clearly in recovery. Sonia also gets personal about working the Twelve Steps nearly nine years into sobriety, feeling disconnected from the male-centered language of traditional AA literature, dating and having sex sober for the first time, and navigating conversations around “Cali sober” and mindful substance use. Dr. Covington shares her own early experiment with moderation, why she has no desire to test whether she could drink again, and a surprisingly simple “green beans” test that can reveal just how much power alcohol or another substance has in someone’s life. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:01:00 – Meet Dr. Stephanie Covington and the personal recovery story behind her pioneering work 00:02:20 – What early addiction treatment and Twelve Step programs got wrong about women 00:03:35 – Why women-only recovery spaces can create greater safety and vulnerability 00:04:00 – Addiction, incarceration, and the lack of real treatment inside jails and prisons 00:06:00 – Medication-assisted treatment, Twelve Step access, and what is missing behind bars 00:07:00 – Why recovery community can be critical for successful reentry after incarceration 00:08:35 – Sonia shares that she is working the Twelve Steps nearly nine years into sobriety 00:09:20 – Why A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps reframes recovery through women’s voices 00:10:00 – Reimagining the Fourth Step as a compassionate “spring cleaning” of the self 00:14:00 – Should AA literature change, and why Dr. Covington focuses on the Twelve Steps over the Big Book 00:16:00 – The Twelve Steps as tools for living, not simply tools for stopping drinking 00:17:00 – Why meetings, connection, and community strengthen long-term recovery 00:18:30 – How trauma and addiction become intertwined and why genetics is only part of the picture 00:21:00 – When trauma and addiction should be treated together rather than sequentially 00:23:30 – The three major relapse risks for women: trauma, relationships, and sexual issues 00:25:30 – Why childhood trauma can have a particularly profound developmental impact 00:28:00 – Big-T versus little-t trauma—and why comparing trauma can be misleading 00:30:00 – Relationships, sexuality, shame, and the overlooked realities of women’s recovery 00:33:00 – Sonia opens up about dating, intimacy, and having sex sober for the first time 00:37:00 – Trauma-informed, trauma-responsive, and trauma-specific care explained 00:39:00 – The origin and power of shifting from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” 00:44:00 – Cali sober, switching substances, moderation, and whether addiction can be “transcended” 00:49:30 – Dr. Covington shares her own failed experiment with having “just one” drink 00:50:30 – The 30-day experiment and the unforgettable “green beans” test for evaluating alcohol’s role Dr. Covington's Links https://www.stephaniecovington.com/ https://www.instagram.com/stephaniecovingtonofficial/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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How to Retrain Your Brain for Joy in Addiction Recovery With Dr. Eric Garland

Addiction can gradually disconnect people from the ordinary pleasures, relationships and experiences that once made life meaningful. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen help make the science of addiction recovery practical and accessible with Dr. Eric Garland, a clinical researcher, psychotherapist and leading expert in mind-body therapies for addiction and chronic pain. Dr. Garland is the developer of Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement, or MORE, an evidence-based treatment that combines mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy and positive psychology. Why do alcohol and other addictive substances begin to feel more rewarding than everyday life? How are addiction, chronic pain, depression, anxiety and trauma connected? Dr. Garland explains how substance use changes the brain’s dopamine and reward systems, why cravings can become automatic, and how mindfulness can create a pause between an urge and an action. He also discusses relapse prevention, emotional pain, moderation, harm reduction and the role of meditation in 12-step recovery. The conversation breaks down the three pillars of MORE: mindfulness, cognitive reappraisal and savoring. Dr. Garland explains how mindfulness strengthens attention and awareness, how reappraisal helps people examine the consequences of their choices, and how savoring retrains the brain to experience pleasure from ordinary moments. He also shares techniques for observing cravings, “playing the tape forward,” rebuilding natural reward and using the STOP practice before engaging in an addictive behaviour. Sonia reflects on how rediscovering simple pleasures and developing new hobbies contributed to a profound identity shift in her own sobriety. Dr. Garland shares how his personal mindfulness practice shaped his career, why recovery can involve transcending an addiction-based identity, and how people can reconnect with meaning, joy and a version of themselves that is larger than any craving, painful feeling or past behaviour. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:00 Dr. Eric Garland and the MORE approach 02:00 How mindfulness shaped Dr. Garland’s career 04:10 Addiction, chronic pain and the loss of natural reward 07:00 Clinical research and the effectiveness of MORE 08:00 Reducing relapse, cravings, pain and emotional distress 10:00 Why people use substances to escape pain 12:00 Mindfulness, reappraisal and savoring 15:00 How addiction hijacks the dopamine reward system 18:20 Practical ways to relearn pleasure in recovery 20:00 The mindfulness loop and strengthening attention 23:00 Recognizing triggers and automatic cravings 25:00 Zooming into the physical experience of a craving 28:00 Playing the tape forward through cognitive reappraisal 30:20 Mindfulness, pain and emotional bypassing 32:00 What traditional addiction treatments may be missing 34:00 Finding reward in coffee, birdsong and everyday moments 40:00 Sobriety, identity change and self-transcendence 43:00 MORE, the 12 steps and responding to a lapse 46:00 Harm reduction, moderation and opioid treatment 49:00 The STOP practice for interrupting automatic behaviour 53:00 Expanding MORE through training, community and technology Dr. Garland's Links www.moretherapy.com https://apps.apple.com/us/app/more-therapy/id6761741739 SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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Past Lives, Hypnosis, and Healing the Patterns We Carry With Boris W

What if the parts of you that feel stuck, afraid, or hard to explain are connected to something deeper than this lifetime? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore hypnosis, identity, past lives, intergenerational trauma, and spiritual healing with Boris Walter, a Psychotherapeutic Consultant specializing in parallel metaphysical phenomena, commonly referred to as past lives, and founder of the Consciousness Integration Collective. Boris helps people locate their inner authority by remembering who they are beneath fear, protection, and conditioning. Boris shares how his path moved from offshore oil and gas work into psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, altered states of consciousness, and spiritual exploration. Together, Sonia and Kathleen ask: What is the difference between personality, identity, and the true self? Can hypnosis help people access parts of themselves that ordinary talk therapy cannot reach? Are past life memories literal, symbolic, or both? And how do fear, shame, family trauma, and old protective patterns keep people disconnected from their own inner knowing? This conversation opens up a grounded but expansive discussion of the ego, the unconscious mind, hypnosis, higher consciousness, and the ways trauma can live in the body. Boris explains how hypnosis can soften the grip of the ego, move people beyond the social mask, and allow them to access imagery, emotion, memory, and meaning that may not be available through conscious thought alone. He also explores the idea that healing is not always about proving whether an experience is “real,” but about understanding the themes, emotions, and false beliefs that are asking to be transformed. In the personal story portion of the episode, Boris reflects on the childhood experiences, family dynamics, spiritual encounters, and early client sessions that shaped his work. Kathleen also shares her own powerful experience in Egypt and the unexpected emotions that surfaced during the conversation. The episode moves into a deeper discussion of ancestral memory, intergenerational trauma, Indigenous history, and the possibility that healing may involve not only this lifetime, but the wider field of family, body, spirit, and consciousness. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. [00:01:00] Boris shares the unexpected path that took him from offshore oil and gas work into psychotherapy. [00:02:00] Why money, success, and a “good job” still left Boris feeling unfulfilled. [00:03:00] Boris explains how wanting to understand himself and his mother’s mental health led him toward psychology. [00:04:00] Kathleen relates to Boris’s career change and the feeling of being called into therapy work. [00:06:00] Boris discusses childhood wounding, ego compensation, and finding work that is no longer driven by the wounded self. [00:07:00] Why traditional talk therapy felt incomplete to Boris, and what he believed was missing. [00:09:00] Boris explains why he became interested in altered states of consciousness and experiences that transcend the mind. [00:10:00] The first client experience that introduced Boris to past life material and higher-self perspectives. [00:12:00] Kathleen asks whether Boris was spiritual before these experiences began appearing in his work. [00:13:00] Boris describes his early fascination with paranormal activity and parapsychology. [00:14:00] Boris shares a profound DMT experience that changed his understanding of divinity, purpose, and love. [00:17:00] How client sessions began shifting Boris’s personal spiritual practices and relationship with his body. [00:18:00] Kathleen asks whether there is such a thing as a “true self.” [00:20:00] Boris explains personality as a social mask and identity as a structure that creates stability. [00:24:00] Kathleen asks what hypnosis is and what happens in the brain during a hypnotic state. [00:26:00] Boris breaks down beta, alpha, and theta brainwave states and how hypnosis creates openness. [00:29:00] Boris explains how hypnosis can help people access higher-self perspectives, guides, past lives, and deeper emotional material. [00:34:00] Kathleen asks whether past life experiences should be understood as literal, symbolic, or something else. [00:41:00] Kathleen shares her own powerful experience in Egypt and the theme of feminine power that emerged. [00:49:00] Kathleen asks about intergenerational trauma, Indigenous clients, residential schools, and inherited memory. Boris' Links Website: https://www.boriswalter.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boriswalterofficial SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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High-Functioning Addiction: When Coping Becomes the Problem With Dr. Blair

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia explores the hidden patterns behind addiction, emotional dysregulation, self-sabotage, and high-functioning survival mode. She is joined by Dr. Blair Steel, a licensed clinical psychologist whose career has focused on resilience, substance abuse treatment, and helping people understand how they either transcend adversity or become trapped in negative cycles. Dr. Steel’s background includes training at Beit T’Shuvah, working as a primary therapist at Cliffside Malibu, serving as Program Director at Passages Malibu, and maintaining a private practice. She is currently a clinical supervisor at pH Wellness and part of the clinical team at Carrara Wellness Treatment & Spa, with writing featured in outlets including The Huffington Post, CNBC, and Well + Good. Together, Sonia and Dr. Steel unpack why addiction is often more complicated than a simple bad habit or lack of willpower. They discuss what it means to view emotional and behavioral patterns as protective rather than defective, and why alcohol or substances can become a way to regulate depression, anxiety, social discomfort, trauma, identity loss, or overwhelm. The conversation looks at the progression from drinking as something that feels magical, to something medicinal, to something miserable — and how to recognize when substance use has become a private coping mechanism instead of a shared ritual or choice. Dr. Steel brings a compassionate, clinically grounded perspective to high-functioning addiction, perfectionism, shame, cultural programming, and emotional avoidance. She explains why shame rarely creates lasting change, why internal motivation matters in long-term sobriety, and how “pattern solving” can be more useful than problem solving. Sonia and Dr. Steel also explore AA, community, social media, therapy, psychedelics, ketamine, antidepressants, labels, self-regulation, and the difference between being alcohol-free and identifying as sober. In the personal story segment, Sonia shares her experience of being a high-functioning alcoholic while working as an orthodontist, running a large practice, and holding a professional license. She reflects on selling her business, the identity loss that followed, her fear of having too much unstructured time, and the realization that sobriety was not just about removing alcohol — it was about building a new life. Sonia and Dr. Steel also discuss the grief of letting go of old identities, the pressure to appear put together, and the moment when the “party” has often been over long before someone finally stops drinking. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Dr. Blair Steel introduces her work as a clinical psychologist and how she entered the addiction treatment field. [00:02:00] Blair explains why she sees patterns as protective rather than defective. [00:03:00] Sonia reflects on how alcohol once helped her survive severe depression and anxiety. [00:04:00] Blair discusses why substances can work temporarily before they begin taking more than they give. [00:05:00] Sonia and Blair talk about shame, blame, fear, and why shame is not motivating. [00:06:00] Blair introduces the idea of pattern solving instead of problem solving. [00:07:00] Sonia connects cultural expectations, self-care, and the pressure to push through pain. [00:08:00] Blair explains how alcohol can maintain a disconnect between the head and the heart. [00:09:00] Blair discusses the disease model of addiction and why she does not approach people as “sick.” [00:10:00] Sonia asks why addiction and mood disorders so often go hand in hand. [00:11:00] Blair shares the phrase “magical, medicinal, then miserable” to describe the progression of alcohol use. [00:12:00] Blair explains why she prefers “problematic” and “non-problematic” substance use over “healthy” alcohol use. [00:13:00] Sonia and Blair discuss psychedelics, ketamine, and the risks for people who tend to reach for substances. [00:16:00] Blair validates Sonia’s self-awareness around knowing what is risky for her sobriety. [00:17:00] Blair shares her view of AA, community, interpretation, and why connection matters. [00:18:00] Sonia asks how addiction shows up differently in high-functioning people. [00:20:00] Sonia shares her experience as a high-functioning alcoholic with a professional license. [00:23:00] Sonia reflects on losing her identities as wife, orthodontist, and business owner. [00:29:00] Blair explains the difference between external motivation and internal motivation in long-term sobriety. [00:43:00] Blair offers a first step for anyone feeling stuck: set a small, short-term, attainable goal and get honest about what happens. Dr. Blair's Links Instagram SIS LINKS 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

Why Goal Setting Isn’t Working — and What to Do Instead With Danielle M

Feeling flat, burned out, or disconnected after doing everything “right” can be confusing—especially for high-achieving women who are used to setting goals, checking boxes, and pushing through. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia speaks with Danielle McGeough, a professor, speaker, transformation strategist, host of the Plan Goal Plan podcast, and creator of the RISE Ritual Method. Danielle helps high-performing women and teams reconnect with their core identities, navigate transitions, and create intentional plans that support sustainable growth. Sonia and Danielle explore what happens when ambition starts to feel empty, why burnout and demoralization are not the same thing, and how women can begin redefining success after a major life shift. They look at the difference between productivity and purpose, how planning can become a tool for self-discovery, and why so many people turn rest, wellness, sobriety, or even creativity into another pressure-filled checklist. The conversation also asks: How do goals change when identity changes? How can ritual help with habit change? And what does it mean to build a life that feels aligned instead of simply impressive? Danielle breaks down the difference between habits, routines, and rituals, explaining why habits are meant to become automatic while rituals are designed to bring people back into presence and meaning. She shares how rituals can help shift someone from one state to another, whether that is from work mode into home mode, from reactive parenting into calm connection, or from “gap thinking” into recognizing the gains already made. The episode also touches on consistency, flexibility, all-or-nothing thinking, moderation, replacement rituals, early sobriety, and the power of adding a little “ish” to the places where perfectionism has taken over. In the personal story segment, Sonia opens up about redefining success after selling her orthodontic practice, writing her book, and noticing how easily her own ambition can turn hobbies, healing, and self-growth into another metric to master. Danielle shares how her own experience of burnout, motherhood, demoralization, and identity loss led her to rethink planning as something deeper than time management. Together, they explore how alcohol can function as a transition ritual, why letting go of that ritual can involve grief, and how new rituals can help support identity change in sobriety and beyond. Highlights [00:01:00] Danielle introduces herself as a mom, professor, and “ritual nerd.” [00:02:00] Danielle shares how achievement, habits, and hard work helped her earn a PhD and tenure—but left her feeling flat. [00:03:00] The conversation turns to burnout, anxiety, rumination, and realizing something needed to shift. [00:05:00] Danielle explains how decorative planning and stickers unexpectedly helped her slow down and reflect. [00:07:00] Danielle defines the difference between burnout and demoralization. [00:08:00] Sonia asks how demoralization changed Danielle’s relationship with goals and ambition. [00:09:00] Danielle describes bitterness, numbness, resentment, and the desire to disconnect. [00:11:00] Danielle reflects on using novels, Netflix, and over-exercising as ways to avoid her own feelings. [00:12:00] Sonia asks how Danielle’s identity had to evolve beyond career, wife, and mother roles. [00:14:00] Danielle reframes planning as a way to collect data about values, priorities, and self-connection. [00:15:00] Danielle explains the difference between habits and rituals. [00:16:00] Danielle shares why rituals are powerful tools for identity change. [00:17:00] Danielle explains the RISE Ritual Method through the story of “Safe Place Sarah.” [00:20:00] Danielle describes how her research on collective rituals helped shape her personal ritual framework. [00:22:00] Danielle explains why traditional goal-setting can feel too abrupt for women who are disconnected from their desires. [00:24:00] Sonia opens up about redefining success after selling her orthodontic practice. [00:29:00] Sonia and Danielle discuss turning sobriety, wellness, rest, and hobbies into productivity projects. [00:32:00] Danielle introduces the idea that change may begin with intensity but is maintained by consistency. [00:36:00] Danielle reframes consistency as shortening the gap between “oops” and starting again. [00:44:00] Sonia and Danielle explore how alcohol can become a transition ritual, and how replacement rituals can support early sobriety. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Danielle's Links Website Instagram SIS LINKS 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸

Why Successful Women Get Stuck in the Same Relationship Patterns With Riana M

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Riana Malia explore how old relationship patterns, identity shifts, and unconscious beliefs can keep women stuck in cycles that no longer match the lives they are trying to build. Riana is a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner whose work helps women break long-standing relational patterns and create deeper, more authentic connection. They look at what happens when women have done the inner work, moved through sobriety, divorce, reinvention, or major life transitions, and are ready for relationships that reflect who they are now — not who they used to be. The conversation opens up big questions about why high-achieving women can be so successful, strategic, and clear in their careers, yet still feel confused or stuck in love, dating, friendships, family dynamics, or partnership. Why do the same patterns keep repeating? What is the difference between knowing a pattern intellectually and actually releasing it from the body? How do childhood beliefs, unconscious programming, and old identities shape the way women choose, attach, perform, shrink, over-function, or settle in relationships? Riana explains how neuroscience, somatic awareness, identity work, and emotional release come together in her Clear to Create method. She talks about clearing old stories, cycles, resentment, loss, limiting beliefs, and emotional charge so that women can create confidence, partnership, love, and a life that feels aligned. The episode also explores why “I don’t want this anymore” can still keep attention fixed on the very thing someone is trying to avoid, how the unconscious mind drives so many relationship patterns, and why replacing old neurology matters just as much as understanding it. Riana also shares practical tools, including her “Magnet for Miracles” exercise and a 72-hour rubber-band practice designed to interrupt negative thought loops and redirect attention toward what is actually desired. Riana shares the life experiences that shaped her work — growing up with a distant father, being forced to become resourceful at 18, entering a lonely young marriage, navigating a painful divorce, moving across the country, losing financial security, and eventually finding herself in a relationship that became her line-in-the-sand moment. Her story traces the path from survival and self-abandonment to clarity, self-trust, and becoming available for a different kind of love. She also shares how doing this work changed her own life and helped her become ready for the healthy partnership she once thought would never happen for her. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Riana Malia is introduced as a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner helping women break old relationship patterns. [00:02:00] Riana shares the early experience of being left without college housing support and learning how to become resourceful. [00:03:00] She describes getting three jobs, renting a house, and staying in school despite having no clear path forward. [00:04:00] Riana talks about marrying young, feeling lonely in marriage, and becoming a mother. [00:05:00] She opens up about the fear, anger, and volatility that followed her divorce. [00:06:00] Riana explains the decision to move to California despite every instinct telling her not to. [00:08:00] She recounts the DEA investigation that upended her life and froze the assets she was relying on. [00:09:00] Riana describes choosing to stay in California to keep her promise to her daughter. [00:10:00] She shares the “never again” moment that led her to stop shrinking, performing, and abandoning herself in relationships. [00:11:00] Riana introduces her Clear to Create method and explains why people have to clear old stories before creating a new life. [00:12:00] She explains how unconscious patterns keep people repeating the same relationships, jobs, money patterns, or family dynamics. [00:14:00] Riana talks about becoming ready to receive healthy love after clearing old toxic patterns. [00:16:00] She uses a dinner order metaphor to explain why clarity, specificity, values, desires, and non-negotiables matter. [00:18:00] Riana explains why high-achieving women can feel confident at work but stuck in relationships. [00:19:00] She breaks down the conscious and unconscious mind using the 10% and 90% framework. [00:22:00] Riana compares old identities and beliefs to expired pantry items that need to be cleared out. [00:24:00] She explains the difference between becoming aware of a pattern and actually replacing the neurology behind it. [00:31:00] Riana shares the bridge metaphor for stepping into a new identity that matches who someone is becoming. [00:39:00] Sonia asks about manifestation, and Riana reframes it through neuroscience, frequency, and attention. [00:43:00] Riana walks through the “Magnet for Miracles” exercise using the away wall, toward wall, and 72-hour rubber band practice. Riana's Links 🌐 Website https://rianamalia.com/ SIS LINKS 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Sonia Does The Steps: Step 3 - From Willpower to Willingness

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen continue the 12-step series with Arlina Allen for a real, funny, and deeply honest conversation about Step Three: making a decision to turn will and life over to a higher power. Arlina helps unpack the language that can feel intimidating, especially the “God” part, and reframes Step Three as a practice of willingness, surrender, and learning to stop doing recovery alone. The conversation explores what it means to move from willpower to willingness, why “trying harder” often keeps people stuck, and how dependence on a higher power can actually create more freedom. Sonia and Arlina talk about abstinence, moderation, self-will, fear, control, family triggers, difficult conversations, and the emotional gymnastics of wondering whether there is an “easier, softer way” to stay sober. Along the way, they make Step Three feel practical and human. They discuss the difference between surrender and giving up, how intuition can show up as peace, why self-care is part of spiritual practice, and how resentment becomes a bridge into Step Four. The episode also touches on the Serenity Prayer, direct communication, emotional responsibility, and the inventory process: naming resentments, identifying how they affect self-esteem, security, relationships, and fear, and beginning to see one’s own patterns without collapsing into shame. In the personal story segment, Sonia reflects on the relief and grief of realizing that full abstinence is the easier, softer way for her, even when part of her wishes she could use substances differently. Arlina shares how old family patterns, friendship endings, people-pleasing, and “everybody hates me” thinking still show up after decades of sobriety—and how connection, gratitude, honest conversations, and returning to practice help bring her back to peace. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Sonia explains why Step Two felt like a mental hurdle. [00:03:00] Arlina reads Step Three and reframes it through willingness. [00:04:00] The set-aside prayer opens the door to new information. [00:05:00] Sonia shares when she finally became willing to consider abstinence. [00:06:00] Dependence on a higher power becomes independence of spirit. [00:08:00] Step Three is not abdicating responsibility. [00:09:00] Arlina explains ego, intuition, and the quiet voice of peace. [00:12:00] Outside perspective helps interrupt the silo of self-will. [00:14:00] Family triggers reveal old default settings. [00:16:00] Arlina checks self-care when “nobody likes me” thinking returns. [00:18:00] Sonia reflects on learning to treat herself like a precious object. [00:21:00] Recovery as a practice, not a one-time achievement. [00:23:00] “Ish” and dimmer switches offer a gentler view of consistency. [00:24:00] Arlina defines self-will as fear, control, and self-centeredness. [00:27:00] Love versus fear becomes a simple spiritual gut check. [00:30:00] Letting go of a friendship becomes an act of self-respect. [00:33:00] Sonia connects with “no easier, softer way.” [00:36:00] Running the experiment again is no longer necessary. [00:39:00] Resentments become the bridge into Step Four. [00:48:00] The Serenity Prayer becomes a tool for emotional disturbance and indecision. Arlina's Links 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Sonia Does The Steps: Step Two - A Higher Power

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia takes on something she has circled for years: the 12 steps. After years of attending meetings here and there, interviewing addiction experts, and seeing the way the steps have changed people’s lives, she is finally stepping in. Joined by recovery coach, One Day at a Time podcast host, and The 12 Steps for Skeptics author Arlina Allen, Sonia explores Step Two through the lens of skepticism, spirituality, language, and lived recovery. The conversation opens with Sonia’s honest reaction to Step Two: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Together, Sonia and Arlina unpack why words like sanity, insanity, God, and character defects can feel outdated or loaded, especially for people who understand addiction through trauma, mental health, coping mechanisms, and neuroscience. They also explore how to “take what you like and leave the rest,” why looking for similarities matters, and how a higher power can be understood in a way that feels personal, flexible, and grounded. Arlina helps reframe Step Two as less about dogma and more about willingness, support, outside perspective, and access to something beyond one’s own fear-based thinking. The episode touches on spirituality versus religion, the pause between impulse and reaction, emotional triggers, “first thought wrong,” and why the hard choice is often the right one. Sonia and Arlina also talk about synchronicity, awe, honesty, music, emotional avoidance, and how sobriety can make room for deeper joy, grief, intuition, and connection. In the personal story segment, Sonia shares how she is beginning to recognize her higher power in real life: in moments of synchronicity, in sober awe, and in choosing honesty. Arlina offers a beautiful reflection on how witnessing someone else heal can soften and heal something inside us, too. The conversation becomes both practical and deeply human—a bridge for anyone who has wanted the wisdom of the steps, but needed a way in that actually feels possible. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. [00:00:00] Sonia introduces the episode and shares why doing the 12 steps feels like a big deal. [00:02:00] Arlina Allen joins Sonia to begin exploring Step Two. [00:03:00] Sonia explains why the word “sanity” immediately brings up resistance. [00:05:00] Arlina reframes insanity as repeating the same pattern and expecting a different result. [00:06:00] Arlina explains Step Two as the beginning of needing help and outside perspective. [00:08:00] Sonia and Arlina discuss trauma, coping mechanisms, guilt, shame, and neuroscience. [00:10:00] Arlina talks about looking for similarities instead of differences in recovery literature. [00:12:00] Sonia shares the “Fred drinking whiskey in milk” moment that took her out of the Big Book. [00:14:00] Sonia explains how the 12 and 12 and Arlina’s homework softened her resistance. [00:16:00] Sonia describes her current concept of spirituality and a higher power. [00:18:00] Sonia reflects on reliance versus defiance and asking for guidance instead of control. [00:20:00] Arlina explains why surrender is not abdicating responsibility. [00:21:00] Sonia and Arlina explore the difference between impulse, instinct, and inner guidance. [00:23:00] Arlina discusses triggers, condescension, and the power of pausing before reacting. [00:30:00] Sonia shares the qualities she wants in a higher power. [00:32:00] Arlina tells a powerful story about synchronicity, grief, and a sobriety date. [00:40:00] Sonia describes sober awe, inspiration, and the return of her inner life. [00:43:00] Sonia connects higher power to the pause between impulse and reaction. [00:49:00] Sonia shares an emotional story about grief, love, and witnessing healing. [00:54:00] Arlina explains why avoiding pain also blocks joy, awe, and wonder. Arlina's Links 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Sonia Does the Steps: Step One, Powerlessness, and the 12 Steps for Skeptics

In this deeply personal first episode of a new Sisters in Sobriety series, Sonia begins something she has circled for years: working the 12 steps. Joined by Arlina Allen, recovery coach, host of the One Day at a Time podcast, and author of The 12 Steps for Skeptics, Sonia explores why she has always respected AA while still feeling hesitant to fully commit. Together, Sonia and Arlina open the door to Step One with honesty, curiosity, humor, and a modern lens for anyone who has ever wondered whether the steps could work for them. The conversation explores what it means to admit powerlessness over alcohol without collapsing into shame, why “unmanageable” does not always look like losing everything, and how women with high-functioning lives can still hit an emotional bottom. Sonia and Arlina talk about raising the bottom, separating the 12-step program from meeting culture, finding the right sponsor or guide, and why old recovery language can sometimes create resistance before people even get to the deeper wisdom underneath it. This episode breaks down Step One in a practical, accessible way: defining powerlessness and unmanageability, identifying patterns around moderation, understanding denial, and recognizing the difference between being sober and being emotionally sober. Arlina also explains why the steps are not just about quitting alcohol, but about self-honesty, accountability, nervous system regulation, recovery habits, and learning to meet the parts of ourselves we would rather avoid. Sonia also shares her own story of having what looked from the outside like a “silk sheet bottom”: a stable marriage, career success, financial security, and no dramatic external consequences. But inside, she was emotionally exhausted, self-loathing, and unable to keep the daily promise not to drink. Through Step One, she begins to see how alcohol had made her life unmanageable in quieter but powerful ways—and why this series may be less about joining a program perfectly and more about finally stepping inside the work. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Time-Stamped Highlights 00:00 Sonia introduces the new series and why she is finally choosing to work the 12 steps. 02:00 Arlina explains how she will guide Sonia through the steps using The 12 Steps for Skeptics. 03:00 Sonia shares why she has always “danced around” AA without fully committing. 04:00 The moment Sonia realized she could separate the 12-step program from meeting culture. 05:00 Arlina explains why the steps are an experience, not just words on a page. 07:00 Sonia opens up about the awkwardness of seeking a sponsor after years of sobriety. 08:00 Arlina explains why Sonia’s approach will be modified because she already has long-term sobriety. 09:00 Sonia reflects on being surprised by how much Step One had to offer. 10:00 The concept of “raising the bottom” helps Sonia reframe what recovery can look like. 11:00 Sonia describes having an emotional bottom even though her outside life looked stable. 12:00 Sonia shares how her brother’s AA experience planted the first seed that alcohol might be a problem. 14:00 Arlina clarifies that Step One means powerless over alcohol, not powerless over everything. 16:00 Sonia revisits Bill’s story with a more open mind than she had in the past. 18:00 Arlina introduces HOW: honest, open-minded, and willing. 21:00 Sonia and Arlina discuss finding similarities instead of differences in recovery stories. 23:00 Sonia defines powerlessness and unmanageability in her Step One homework. 24:00 Sonia shares the daily cycle of promising not to drink and drinking anyway. 26:00 Sonia connects deeply with the idea that when she enjoyed drinking, she could not control it. 28:00 Sonia questions whether rehashing old drinking stories is always helpful. 32:00 Arlina explains the difference between sobriety and recovery. 35:00 Sonia defines emotional sobriety as the ability to self-regulate without substances. 39:00 Sonia reflects on how drinking kept her from living in alignment with her values. 42:00 Sonia shares how sobriety helped her rediscover books, creativity, and her real personality. 45:00 Arlina explains how recovery asks people to love the parts of themselves they usually reject. 47:00 Sonia considers trying a women’s step study meeting as part of her homework. 48:00 Arlina gives Sonia the reading assignment for Step Two and they close the episode Arlina's Links 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

The Recovery Conversation That Challenges Everything With Richard Taite

In this episode, Sonia sits down with Richard Taite to talk about addiction, trauma, treatment, emotional sobriety, self-love, and what it really takes to build a life that feels worth staying present for. They explore Richard’s decades of experience as an addiction treatment entrepreneur, recovery advocate, founder of Cliffside Malibu and Carrera Treatment, and host of the mental health podcast We’re Out of Time. Richard also opens up about his own history with addiction, childhood trauma, homelessness, long-term recovery, and his controversial view that some people can transcend addiction after doing deep, sustained work. The conversation moves through some big questions: Is addiction always a lifelong identity? What does it mean to truly recover versus simply stop using? How does childhood trauma become the emotional engine behind substance use disorder? Sonia and Richard also discuss AA, therapy, treatment centers, the fentanyl crisis, emotional sobriety, reparenting, and why “getting sober” is only one part of the work. Richard challenges familiar recovery language while still crediting AA as a foundation in his own life, making space for a more nuanced conversation about addiction recovery, identity, and healing. Richard explains why therapy has been central to his recovery, how shame forms in childhood, and why so many people carry a “bad kid” narrative into adulthood. He shares his belief that self-care can become self-esteem, and self-esteem can become self-love—especially when recovery expands beyond abstinence into purpose, parenting, relationships, physical health, and joy. The episode also looks at what effective addiction treatment should include today, why therapeutic fit matters, and how families may need to think differently about drugs, alcohol, opioids, and fentanyl in the current recovery landscape. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Richard corrects the record about his sobriety and explains why he no longer identifies as sober. [00:02:00] Richard describes what he means by “transcending addiction.” [00:03:00] He shares the Michelin-star wine-pairing moment that showed him his relationship with alcohol had changed. [00:04:00] Sonia asks whether his shift happened suddenly or slowly over time. [00:05:00] Richard explains why thriving matters after getting sober. [00:07:00] Sonia asks how his current relationship with alcohol differs from active addiction. [00:08:00] Richard opens up about becoming a father and losing the fantasy of eventually getting loaded again. [00:10:00] Sonia asks whether fatherhood pushed him into deeper emotional sobriety work. [00:11:00] Richard talks about being in therapy for much of his recovery. [00:12:00] Richard shares the therapy moment that helped him understand he was never “a bad kid.” [00:14:00] He explains how childhood shame can keep running the adult life. [00:16:00] Sonia and Richard discuss childhood trauma as a root driver of addiction. [00:18:00] Richard challenges the idea that one first drink automatically explains addiction. [00:19:00] He talks about AA as a foundation while also questioning rigid recovery identities. [00:21:00] Richard explains why he sees AA as support, not treatment. [00:23:00] He connects self-care, self-esteem, and self-love. [00:27:00] Richard explains why treatment should feel like care, not punishment. [00:32:00] Sonia asks how fentanyl changed the addiction treatment landscape. [00:34:00] Richard shares the overdose death that brought him back into treatment work. [00:40:00] Richard describes how he talks to his son about pills, powders, fentanyl, and peer pressure. [00:45:00] Sonia asks what families should look for in a recovery center today. [00:50:00] Richard closes with a message of hope for anyone afraid to ask for help. Richard's Links https://www.instagram.com/richardtaiteofficial/ https://carraratreatment.com/author/richard/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

What Do You Do for Fun When You Stop Drinking With Amy Tangerine

Creativity isn’t just a hobby—it can be a sobriety tool, a self-care practice, and a way back to the parts of ourselves we forgot. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore how play, journaling, memory keeping, and hands-on creativity can help women rebuild identity and joy after alcohol. Sonia is joined by Amy Tangerine, a designer, author, creative director, memory keeper, and founder of a colorful creative brand that has inspired hundreds of thousands of people to reconnect with imagination, craft, and permission to play. The conversation opens up the question of what happens when drinking used to be the “play hard” part of life—and what it means to redefine fun in sobriety. Sonia and Amy talk about childhood creativity, cozy hobbies, scrapbooking, junk journaling, reading, Legos, collecting, and why many adults dismiss the very activities that once made them feel alive. They also explore how high-achieving women can struggle to do something without measuring it, monetizing it, or turning it into another task. Amy shares how creative flow can become a grounding practice, especially for people who feel anxious, overworked, disconnected, or unsure of who they are without alcohol. The episode covers memory keeping, analog journaling, vision boards, tactile creativity, pen-to-paper reflection, creative self-care, inner child work, and the difference between creating for an outcome versus creating for the process. Amy also talks about “taking your rage out on the page,” using journaling to process emotions, and building small systems that make creativity possible in 10- to 15-minute pockets. In the personal story segment, Amy opens up about being raised by immigrant parents, her early love of stickers, crayons, journals, and magazines, her transition from fashion into scrapbooking, and the burnout that pushed her to rethink success. She also shares the deeply personal role vision boards played during her miscarriages, how creativity helped her imagine and accept a different version of family, and how manifesting, aligned action, and self-belief shaped her life. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:00 Welcome to Sisters in Sobriety with Amy Tangerine 01:00 Amy’s earliest creative sparks: crayons, stickers, journals, and crafts 02:00 From fashion design to scrapbooking and memory keeping 03:00 The Hello Kitty journal that started Amy’s diary practice 04:00 Why Amy blended memoir and guidance in Craft a Life You Love 05:00 Why hobbies matter more than people think 06:00 Taking 15 minutes for creativity without explaining it to anyone 07:00 Amy’s immigrant parents and the freedom to follow what made her happy 09:00 Creativity as a way to design a more intentional life 10:00 Creative flow, harmony, and coming back to yourself 11:00 Collage as comfort during family stress and grief 13:00 Redefining play when drinking used to be the recreational hobby 14:00 Returning to the activities that brought joy in childhood 15:00 Sonia on rediscovering reading in sobriety 16:00 Legos, collecting, and childhood hobbies as adult comfort 18:00 Junk journaling and the return to analog creativity 20:00 What happens emotionally when people enter a playful state 21:00 Giving yourself permission to create in small pockets of time 23:00 Letting go of metrics, productivity, and the pressure of an end product 25:00 Pen-to-paper journaling versus digital memory keeping 27:00 Balancing AI tools, metrics, and the need for handwriting 30:00 What memory keeping really means 31:00 “Take your rage out on the page” as emotional release 34:00 Pickleball, anger, and accessing different parts of the self 35:00 Simple ways to incorporate photos, planners, and everyday memories 37:00 Why memory keeping does not have to be chronological 39:00 Vision boards, self-belief, and “what I desire is what I deserve” 42:00 Manifesting, higher power, and aligned action 47:00 Amy’s products, printables, stickers, and ways to get started creatively Amy's Links http://www.amytangerine.com/ https://www.instagram.com/amytangerine/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Powerless or in Control: Rethinking Addiction Recovery with Dr. Daniel Hochman

Sonia sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Hochman for a candid, nuanced conversation on addiction, recovery, and what actually works in the real world in this episode of Sisters in Sobriety. Daniel Hochman, is a board-certified psychiatrist and creator of Self Recovery, an online program helping people address substance and behavioral addictions through a science-based, psychologically informed approach that prioritizes privacy, agency, and emotional understanding. The conversation explores the limits of traditional recovery models, including where 12-step programs can feel outdated or incomplete, and why concepts like “powerlessness” may actually undermine long-term change. Sonia and Dr. Hochman dig into questions around agency vs. external control, whether addiction is a disease or learned behavior, and how approaches like urge surfing, emotional regulation, and behavioral strategies fit into recovery. They also examine the role of medication like Antabuse and naltrexone, the rise of alternative recovery models, and how high-achieving individuals experience addiction differently. Dr. Hochman reframes addiction as a response to “intolerable emotions,” highlighting how anxiety, dissatisfaction, and internal conflict can quietly drive addictive behaviors. He introduces a practical framework—moving from underlying distress to cravings to action—and explains how different “points of attack” can interrupt that cycle. As the conversation unfolds, Sonia shares her own experience navigating sobriety outside of traditional systems, including her curiosity about the 12 steps and her journey into emotional sobriety. The episode shifts into a more personal exploration of identity—especially for high achievers whose self-worth is tied to performance—and what it looks like to rebuild a sense of self without alcohol. Through this lens, recovery becomes less about restriction and more about rediscovery, experimentation, and learning how to sit with discomfort rather than escape it. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:00] Introduction to Dr. Daniel Hochman and Self Recovery [01:00] Why willpower isn’t enough in addiction recovery [02:00] What a psychiatrist actually does in addiction treatment [03:00] Early exposure to rehab systems and gaps in care [04:00] Problems within the addiction treatment industry [05:00] The role of untrained providers in recovery spaces [06:00] Sonia’s experience exploring the 12 steps [07:00] “Powerlessness” and the problem with vague frameworks [09:00] Locus of control and reclaiming agency in recovery [12:00] Why vague advice like “try harder” doesn’t work [14:00] What traditional recovery models get right—and wrong [16:00] Why addiction science hasn’t been fully integrated into AA [18:00] Addiction as a response to underlying emotional distress [20:00] Trauma, boredom, dissatisfaction, and hidden drivers [22:00] The “current” model: from pain to craving to action [24:00] Urge surfing and behavioral tools for early sobriety [26:00] Why deep emotional work shouldn’t come first [28:00] Limitations of CBT and surface-level therapy [30:00] Inside the Self Recovery program framework [33:00] Sobriety vs. moderation: choosing your own path [36:00] Medications in recovery: Antabuse vs. naltrexone [41:00] High achievers, identity, and addiction patterns [45:00] Rebuilding a sense of self beyond achievement [49:00] Rediscovering hobbies, curiosity, and joy in sobriety [51:00] One simple awareness practice to start changing behavior Dr. Hochman's Links Self Recovery's Website: https://www.selfrecovery.org/ Self Recovery's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfrecoveryhealth/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

The Hungry Ghost Effect: Why Nothing Ever Feels Like Enough in Addiction With Jeremy L

Sonia sits down with Jeremy Lipkowitz to unpack addiction, dopamine, and the hidden patterns behind compulsive behaviors—from alcohol to everyday habits. They dive into the questions most people avoid: What actually drives compulsive behavior? Why does dopamine keep us chasing more instead of feeling satisfied? How do perfectionism, shame, and high achievement intersect with addiction? And what happens when we swap one coping mechanism for another—alcohol for work, porn, social media, or even productivity? They also explore how habits quietly escalate and how identity becomes entangled in addiction. Jeremy breaks down neuroplasticity and how repeated behaviors wire the brain, reinforcing cycles of craving and avoidance. He reframes dopamine as the chemical of wanting—not pleasure—and explains how this fuels the loop of desire. The conversation introduces tools like urge surfing, mindfulness, and creating space between stimulus and response, alongside a deeper look at emotional avoidance, shame, and the “hungry ghost” cycle of never feeling like enough. They also demystify meditation—what it actually is, and how to practice it without perfection. The episode also traces Jeremy’s personal turning point—from a high-achieving student battling insecurity and compulsive behaviors to discovering meditation and a new definition of fulfillment. As Sonia reflects on her own patterns in real time, the conversation becomes a powerful example of what it looks like to pause, notice, and choose differently. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. TIME-STAMPED HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 – Introduction to Jeremy Lipkowitz and his work in addiction recovery 01:30 – Jeremy’s early struggles with insecurity and addiction 03:45 – Realizing the path he was on wasn’t leading to happiness 06:15 – Why success didn’t translate into fulfillment 08:00 – Neuroplasticity and how habits shape the brain 10:30 – Dopamine explained: wanting vs. liking 12:45 – How addiction escalates over time 14:30 – Addiction as emotional avoidance 16:10 – Why we struggle with boredom and discomfort 17:45 – Identity and shame in addiction 20:00 – Rationalizing harmful behaviors 21:30 – Addiction as a universal pattern 23:00 – The “dry drunk” concept and root causes 24:30 – Healthier vs. harmful coping mechanisms 26:00 – Recognizing subtle compulsions 28:15 – What urge surfing is 31:00 – Creating space before reacting 34:00 – Building mindfulness as a skill 37:00 – Meditation myths and perfectionism 41:30 – Different types of meditation 45:00 – Mindfulness in everyday life 49:00 – Perfectionism as addiction 52:00 – The “hungry ghost” mindset 55:30 – Sonia’s real-time habit awareness 58:30 – Learning to sit with boredom 01:02:00 – Why abstinence can help moderation 01:06:00 – How subtle habits take hold 01:09:00 – Finding freedom from external validation Jeremy's Links Podcast: https://unhooked.buzzsprout.com/ Website: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Why You’re Still Inflamed - Even If You’re Doing Everything “Right” With Dr. Shivani Gupta

Inflammation is at the root of so many modern health struggles—but what if the way we approach it is completely backwards? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with Dr. Shivani Gupta—Ayurvedic practitioner, functional health expert, and author of The Inflammation Code—to explore a radically personalized approach to healing. Sonia guides listeners through how inflammation shows up in daily life, how stress and lifestyle habits quietly fuel it, and how Dr. Gupta’s “Elemental Design” framework helps decode each person’s unique health blueprint. The conversation dives into how different body types respond to stress, food, and alcohol, and why a one-size-fits-all wellness plan often fails. Questions unfold around how mental inflammation contributes to physical disease, how gut health connects to energy and mood, and why sleep, circadian rhythm, and daily rituals may matter more than the latest health trend. The episode also explores the real impact of alcohol on gut permeability and inflammation, and how habits like late-night eating, blue light exposure, and chronic stress quietly disrupt the body’s natural healing processes. Throughout the episode, Dr. Gupta introduces key concepts like chronic low-grade inflammation, bio-individuality, and the connection between the microbiome and overall health. She explains how ancient Ayurvedic principles align with modern science—from circadian rhythm optimization to the role of super spices like turmeric in reducing inflammation. The discussion weaves in practical insights on improving sleep hygiene, supporting the gut microbiome, managing cortisol, and using simple daily rituals—like tea, breathwork, or structured routines—to regulate the nervous system and reduce inflammation at its source. As the conversation unfolds, Dr. Gupta shares her deeply personal journey—from growing up between Western medicine and Ayurvedic traditions to a turning point that led her to reject overmedication and seek root-cause healing. That experience sparked decades of study and ultimately shaped her mission to bring ancient healing wisdom into modern life in a practical, accessible way. The episode closes with a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t require perfection—it starts with small, intentional shifts that bring the body back into balance. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Shivani Gupta and The Inflammation Code 02:00 Growing up between Western medicine and Ayurveda 03:00 The breaking point with overmedication and antibiotics 04:30 Discovering Ayurveda and root-cause healing 06:00 Turmeric and the science behind super spices 08:00 What “Elemental Design” means for your health 10:00 Understanding Vata, Pitta, and Kapha body types 12:00 How different constitutions experience inflammation 14:00 Autoimmune conditions and personalized health patterns 17:00 Circadian rhythm and its role in inflammation 18:30 How sleep impacts detoxification and healing 20:00 Building a realistic sleep routine 22:00 Ideal sleep environment and temperature 23:30 Common mistakes with turmeric and anti-inflammatory diets 25:00 Chronic inflammation and modern lifestyle stressors 27:00 Supplements vs. whole foods: what actually works 31:00 What is “mental inflammation”? 33:00 Stress, burnout, and disease connection 35:00 Gut health, microbiome, and daily habits 37:00 Alcohol’s impact on gut health and inflammation 40:00 How different body types respond to alcohol 43:00 Tools for relaxation without alcohol 47:00 The most important first step: prioritizing sleep Dr. Shivani's Links www.shivanigupta.com IG: @dr.shivanigupta SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Is Addiction Written in the Stars? With Astrologist Jessica Lanyadoo

Addiction, astrology, and emotional healing take center stage in this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, as Sonia sits down with humanistic astrologer Jessica Lanyadoo. Together, they unpack how addiction isn’t just about substances—it’s about emotional patterns, coping mechanisms, and the ways we abandon ourselves. Jessica brings a grounded, no-nonsense approach to astrology, helping Sonia explore how tools like astrology, community, and self-awareness can support sobriety and long-term healing. What role does emotional regulation play in addiction? Can astrology reveal patterns behind compulsive behaviors or anxiety? How do dopamine-driven habits like scrolling or shopping mirror substance use? Sonia and Kathleen guide the conversation through big questions around fate vs. free will, the psychology of addiction, and whether spiritual tools—like astrology—can become coping mechanisms themselves. The discussion also explores the complexities of recovery spaces, including the benefits and challenges of 12-step programs, shame, and accountability. The conversation weaves together concepts like harm reduction, emotional processing, and the neuroscience of addiction. Jessica introduces the idea that addiction is often rooted in an inability to tolerate feelings, rather than a lack of willpower. She breaks down how different types of anxiety and coping behaviors can manifest, and how misdiagnosis—both psychologically and personally—can keep people stuck. The idea of “momentum” becomes a powerful framework: how addictive behaviors build quickly, while healing and self-connection require slower, intentional practice. Through personal reflections, Sonia shares moments from her own sobriety journey—navigating divorce, resisting the urge to drink, and recognizing how other behaviors can mimic addiction. The episode shifts into a deeper, more vulnerable space as they explore recovery tools like AA, the concept of “dry drunk” vs. true sobriety, and the emotional weight of making amends. Jessica offers a nuanced take on “living amends,” boundaries, and why healing doesn’t always require direct reconciliation—sometimes it requires protecting yourself while still taking accountability. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:00 – Introduction to Jessica Lanyadoo and her humanistic approach 01:15 – What humanistic astrology actually means 03:00 – Addiction beyond substances: emotional and behavioral patterns 05:30 – Astrology’s perspective on different types of addiction 08:15 – Dopamine, escapism, and modern-day addictive behaviors 09:30 – Can astrology become a coping mechanism? 10:45 – Is addiction fate or free will? 12:30 – Physiological vs. emotional components of addiction 14:00 – Different types of anxiety and how they show up 16:30 – Misdiagnosis and why some treatments don’t work 17:45 – The concept of momentum in addiction vs. healing 19:00 – “Dry drunk” vs. true sobriety 20:00 – Why AA works (and why it doesn’t for everyone) 22:00 – Shame, community, and healing in recovery spaces 24:00 – The complexity of group dynamics in AA 26:30 – Boundaries, triggers, and navigating recovery communities 28:00 – The truth about making amends 29:30 – What are “living amends”? 31:30 – Trauma, safety, and when not to reconnect 34:00 – Self-abandonment and taking personal accountability Jessica's Links Ghost of a Podcast Access free horoscopes + other goodies and classes available for purchase at lovelanyadoo.com SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

What Healthcare Gets Wrong About Addiction With Dr. Emma

Sonia sits down with Dr. Emma Kay, professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Nursing and a nationally recognized researcher focused on HIV care, substance use, harm reduction, and recovery. Together, they unpack the intersection of addiction, stigma, and healthcare systems, and explore how a more compassionate, whole-person approach can change outcomes. Sonia guides this conversation to help reframe how we think about recovery, disclosure, and what meaningful care actually looks like in practice. The discussion moves beyond surface-level conversations about addiction and into the realities people face navigating HIV, substance use, and medical systems that often prioritize one condition over another. Questions emerge around why patients don’t disclose substance use, how stigma subtly shows up in healthcare settings, whether abstinence-only models are limiting recovery options, and what happens when providers assume noncompliance. It also touches on the gap between medical innovation and lived patient experience, especially when it comes to trust, access, and education. The conversation highlights how recovery is often non-linear, why patient autonomy matters, and how small behavioral shifts can represent meaningful progress. It also sheds light on systemic barriers including cost, lack of education in medical training, and disparities tied to race, geography, and socioeconomic status. The contrast between rapid advancements in HIV treatment and the slower evolution of addiction care reveals where healthcare systems are still falling short. Sonia and Dr. Kay also talk about—what it actually looks like when patients feel seen, heard, and respected versus judged or dismissed. From early moments in an HIV clinic filled with unexpected vulnerability to broader reflections on stigma and resilience, the episode brings forward the emotional and relational side of care that often gets overlooked in clinical conversations. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Emma Kay and her work 01:00 Dr. Kay’s non-traditional path into social work and research 02:30 First experiences in an HIV clinic and shifting perspectives 04:00 Understanding HIV as a chronic condition vs stigma 05:30 The overlap between HIV and substance use 06:30 Risk factors and misconceptions about HIV transmission 07:30 Early experiences with patient vulnerability and resilience 09:00 Abstinence-based models vs harm reduction realities 10:30 Lack of harm reduction resources in certain regions 11:30 Why patients don’t disclose substance use 12:30 Gaps in education around harm reduction 13:30 What relational harm reduction actually means 15:00 Key principles: autonomy, humanism, pragmatism 16:30 Incremental progress and redefining success in recovery 17:30 Why recovery is rarely linear 19:00 Whole-person care and addressing underlying needs 21:00 Subtle stigma in healthcare settings 22:30 Misconceptions about adherence and drug use 24:00 Harm reduction vs abstinence models 25:30 Aging population with HIV and comorbidities 27:00 Treating HIV like any other chronic condition 28:30 Innovation in HIV care vs addiction care 30:00 Disparities in overdose rates and access to care 32:00 Trust gaps in marginalized communities 34:00 The role of community-led solutions 35:00 Cost barriers and access to life-saving resources Dr. Emma's Links https://scholars.uab.edu/5926-emma-kay https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmasophiakay/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.