Psychology Has It Backwards

Episode 216: Freedom With Accountability

A beautiful recognition that emerges from increasing understanding of the Three Principles is the freedom to be fully accountable for our thoughts and actions and live fearlessly, learning as we thrive. There is no reason to be afraid of our own thoughts, to be afraid of being "wrong," to be embarrassed to take responsibility for everything we do, or to be ashamed to apologize to others or forgive ourselves for things we wish we had not done. Life is a journey through deeper and deeper opportunities for learning. When we focus on our self-image, rather than our shared humanity, we fail to respect ourselves or others. The Principles describe the common denominator of being human. We have the power TO think, and we can think anything; Consciousness makes everything we bring to mind appear real while we're thinking it; when our thinking changes, our experience of reality changes. But it starts with our freedom to think. If we don't like our experience of reality, we don't have to struggle to change our reality; we have to see our power to change our minds, recognizing that we are, ultimately, responsible for our own moment-to-moment experience of life. We are always free to think differently. Support the show

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Episode 215: Insecure Thinking Keeps Us Focused on Flaws, Not Gifts

Insecure thinking is the result of focusing on what has gone wrong, either with us or with things around us. As an example, if you realize a mistake, there are two ways to address it. You can sink into regret and feel bad about yourself and embarrassed to admit it, or you can attempt to ask for help correcting it. We've all seen this or done it: "I can't believe I did that stupid thing. I hope no one noticed. I can't talk about it. I'm so ashamed," etc. That leads to a barrage of insecure thoughts of remorse, self-criticism, doubt, and distress. It does not lead to growth and change and fresh ideas about what to do next. Once we understand that insecure thoughts are just negative ideas we're creating, we can use our power as the thinkers, to let them go, get quiet, and clear our heads. Then we can see that we're all human, humans make mistakes, and it makes sense to acknowledge our own role, make amends, and look to learn. Thinking negatively about ourselves is exhausting and demoralizing. Accepting and acknowledging actions or ideas we regret takes our attention off our "flaws" and lets us trust our innate wisdom to guide us to understanding and learning. Support the show

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Episode 214: Getting Caught Up

Who hasn't experienced periods of feeling entangled in habitual unpleasant thoughts -- maybe worry, or anxiety, or fear, or self-criticism, or pressure to perform, etc.? Who hasn't had periods of feeling haunted or punished by persistent thoughts that limit them -- "I'm not smart enough," "I'm not comfortable talking to strangers," "I'm afraid of heights," "I always mess up under pressure." Everyone has their own collection of such thoughts. We've thought them so often for so long they appear to be real and inevitable for us. Once we understand the nature of thought and the beautiful gift we have to think fresh, to choose which thoughts we appreciate and which thoughts we brush off and leave alone, we still stumble into negative thinking, but we see it as "just those thoughts again," not as some important truth we must ponder. The Principles reveal the power we have as the thinkers of our thoughts, the creators of the power we give to thoughts. Then we realize that no thought can entrap us or hold us down unless WE think it can and allow it. We don't have to "fix" anything because thoughts unattended simply pass as new thoughts come to mind. Support the show

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Episode 213: Insight

Central to the understanding of the contribution of the Three Principles to our understanding of mental well-being, ease, and grace in life is Insight. Insight is, literally, "sight from within," a new thought that arises effortlessly, without the effort of "intellectual figuring out." It's a common experience. We have ordinary terms for it. Ideas that came "out of the blue," or "when I wasn't even trying to come up with something," or "as a surprise." It is the product of the spiritual energy that informs life; that allows people to learn and discover. It often comes with a feeling of relief: "Wow! That's the answer I need!" Or with a feeling of discovery: "I never thought of that before!" Or the feelings of gratitude, or inspiration: "It just came to me how beautiful Earth is and how glad I am to be alive." Often insights are life-changing, as when we suddenly realize something about ourselves that has held us back, or caused distress to someone, and find that we can simply change because it makes sense. Once we realize the power of thought and the power we have as thinkers to welcome and nurture the thoughts that are meaningful and helpful, we have limitless possibility to discover, grow, and change. Support the show

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Episode 212: The Power of Presence

The ease and availability of electronic communication is changing the experience of gatherings. Many groups have stopped holding in-person events, and we are losing touch with the importance and depth of people coming together in one space -- the spiritual connection of a shared feeling. We describe the early days that the first generation of Three Principles students met with Sydney Banks, and why we are inviting people from around the world to join us in August 2026 in Vancouver, Canada for a meeting. It is a reminder that the power of the Principles is not in the simple logic of the words, but in the feeling that arises when people gather in quietude and there are no distractions, just presence in that moment with a quiet mind. We often talk of presence, and people think of it as being somewhere in space and time; presence as we use it refers to people being free from the distraction of their own personal thinking and feeling truly quiet and at peace, when we can share that feeling and realize the wisdom that naturally leads us beyond what we were thinking. More info on the conference: https://3pgc.org/vancouver-2026 Support the show

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Episode 211: Thought Is Neutral; What We Make of It Is Personal

Life is a series of ups and downs for all of us. We have no choice about where and into what era we're born, who we will encounter throughout our lives, and what circumstances we may face. Our navigation system APPEARS to be the thoughts we have about life, but it isn't. Thoughts are the ideas and images we bring to mind, sometimes intentionally, sometimes randomly. But the feelings engendered by our thoughts are the true navigation system. What we make of our thoughts, how seriously we take them, whether we recognize negative thoughts as red flags, matters. When negative thoughts and feelings appear to be important and meaningful -- things we must take seriously and deal with -- we slip into a downward spiral unintentionally. When we wake up and remember negative thoughts and feelings are Caution signs on the road of life, we can slow down, quiet our minds, allow those thoughts to pass, and soon we get fresh ideas and a better perspective. We pass through "thought storms" just like travelers on a road trip pass through thunderstorms. The same advice works: slow down, trust yourself to get through it, and soon you'll see the sun again. Support the show

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Episode 210: The Power of Belief and Groupthink

Beliefs are thoughts we have taken seriously over time, so that they appear increasingly less malleable and come to look like truths to us. They take on power in our minds. When a group of people share certain beliefs, they drive actions, both good and bad -- for example, placing service to humanity as a priority, or turning away from certain groups of people they consider not deserving of mercy or compassion. Once a thought is entrenched in our minds, it can lead to prejudice as well as favoritism, or exclusion of others as well as clinging to identity with certain others. Groupthink takes us away from seeing the shared humanity at the heart of being, and leads to sorting and separating -- or worse, prejudice and even violence. It keeps us from connection heart-to-heart. Support the show

Episode 209: Listening for and Living From Insight

The essential message we receive from the Principles of Mind, Consciousness, and Thought is that all people, always, have access to insights. But we also have the ability to ignore in-the-moment fresh thoughts when we are caught up in habits or memories. If we start to recognize and trust the ease and certainty we feel when we are guided by the flow of fresh thought, we feel confident and present, even in the face of challenges. We are relying on wisdom beyond our intellect and learning as we live. When we override the inner voice of insight, we can get stuck repeating past errors or feeling inadequate to handle life situations. Support the show

Episode 208: Living Life Fully From the Feeling of Ease

It may seem counterintuitive that we accomplish more and enjoy what we're doing more from a state of ease and a quiet mind. But effort, drive, and urgency come from fear of failure, not from wisdom. Inspiration, fascination, and pleasure in our activities are positive feelings that arise from a quiet mind focused on what we're doing in the present moment. We don't need to create pressure, anxiety, and drive to succeed. We succeed when we are fully engaged and in touch with our own innate wisdom as our guide, not muddying the activity with worry or over-thinking every move. When we learn to trust wisdom, we can enjoy what we do and approach challenges without fear. Support the show

Episode 207: The Power of Hope

Hope, as we are discussing it here, is not "wishful thinking" or "unrealistic optimism." Hope is a deep, uplifting feeling we have that things will work out fine, regardless of how they may look at the moment and regardless of whether they work out as we may have predicted. People who generally experience hope are buffered from dread or disappointment. The gift hope offers is that it keeps us in the present, accepting life as it unfolds. It allows us to forget about our issues or concerns and just live. When we get involved with our thinking about what might happen, we end up going in circles in our minds because we don't know and it's easy to slip into worst-case scenarios. The feeling -- the attitude -- of hope, keeps us curious and open, without fear. Support the show

Episode 206: Trying, Seeking, and Doing

Without intending to, we often put pressure on ourselves from trying too hard and seeking to achieve goals that may be unreasonable, which amounts to doing more and more and becoming increasingly frustrated. Many "accomplished" people live on the edge of exhaustion and get no joy from what they do. If we turn in the direction we want to go, and then quiet our minds and listen for our own wisdom, we'll see what to do, at what pace, and we'll enjoy the journey as much as appreciating the destination. Support the show

Episode 205: Natural Self-Esteem

Natural self-esteem is built into humanity; it's just being ourselves and embracing life. Once we start to analyze ourselves, or become self-conscious about perceived flaws or worried about what others think about us, we lose touch with our connection with life and others. Whether we think we're great, or fear we are awful, we live in insecurity. We live in our head, not from our heart. That doesn't mean we don't want to develop our knowledge, or take interest in staying fit or looking our best. It simply means that we are born with all we need to be at ease with moment-to-moment life. Support the show

Episode 204: The Power of Innate Health

The term "Innate Health" refers to the pure life energy that is the essence of our power to recognize when to turn away from non-constructive thinking and negative feelings. It is mental well-being that is natural to us. We lose touch with it when we get caught up in our thinking, but we can't lose it. It is who we are. The Principles describe it. We determine whether to acknowledge it, appreciate it, and listen to the common sense and wisdom it offers when we don't override it. Support the show

Episode 203: What We Mean by "Deep Feelings"

When we refer to deep feelings, we are talking about the quietude, inner ease, and sense of connection and appreciation innate to all people. It's a feeling natural to us, our spiritual essence, unconditional love. We sometimes try to attribute our deep feelings to things outside ourselves: people, situations or outcomes. But nothing outside has power to "make" us feel. The harder we try to find them, the farther we take ourselves away from them. Deep feelings are not caused by circumstances, but awakened within us when we quiet our intellect and listen to our heart. Support the show

Episode 202: Minding Our Own Business

Our life is a neutral sequence of ideas and events; how we think about life determines our experience of it. So the details of daily living are not the "cause" of our felt experience. Our thinking about them is. We forget that, as the thinkers, we can "color" our thinking about life any way we want. A lunch with someone we used to work with can be a light-hearted sharing of memories, or a depressing rehearsal of things that went wrong. Remembering a failure can generate reflection about lessons learned, or a moment of regret or self-recrimination. We are the "artists" who interpret and color our own life via the gift of thought. Our memories, our moment-to-moment experience, and our plans look different to us in different states of mind. So when we aren't satisfied with how life is going, maybe looking within rather than trying to alter the outside world, would make a big difference. Support the show

Episode 201: What Does It Mean To Be "The Thinker?"

We talk readily about being "the thinkers of our own thoughts" and because of that, being "the creators of own reality." But it matters to realize the remarkable power of those facts. We never have to live as the victim of our own most negative or distressing thoughts. When people say casually how upset they are that they "keep thinking about" something that troubles or concerns them, they are missing the remarkable truth about our power TO think, the power we have to decide what we hold in mind, to change our minds, or to let it go. What we think takes form as an idea which appears real. But the life of a thought is only as long as we think it. So reality shifts as our thinking changes. We are never stuck in any "reality." Our experience changes as our thinking changes. Support the show

Episode 200: What Do We Mean by "Going Deeper"

Some expressions we use are profoundly meaningful to us, but may seem like jargon to others. One of those is "going deeper," the way we describe how to slow the memory-based activity of the intellect to allow quietude, to trust that insight will arise when we need it. The benefit from seeing the Principles behind experience is not information, but feeling a positive shift towards living in peace and ease, trusting in universal wisdom and mental well-being as the essence of all us. We become comfortable with the silence between thoughts, in which we remain in wonder, confident that new thoughts will come through us. Going deeper is truly seeing who we are: human beings with the gifts to create any thought and navigate our way fearlessly and confidently through the thoughts we allow to define our life. Support the show

Episode 199: What Explains Psychological Shifts?

Those of us who work with the Three Principles often describe "shifts in level of consciousness" that awakened us, and that are the essence of change for clients who benefit from realizing the Principles that explain our life experience. These shifts are insights, the source of change, and they arise from quieting our minds and trusting wisdom will come. It may happen in a moment in time, but once people "see" the connection between our thinking and our experience, they can always look towards their innate mental well-being to find answers, rather than trying to figure out problems and get over negative feelings at the same level they were created. As we let go of trying to figure out what's wrong or why our thoughts appear to plague us, we see the promise in our creative energy to leave old thoughts behind and naturally find the clarity and freshness to rise above old ideas. The Principles point to the gifts natural to us that allow us to change. Support the show

Episode 198: Believing in Our Own BS

We make up ideas about ourselves, take on ideas others have about us, and wonder why we have different thoughts about the same things day to day. We see this in others -- the girl with the beautiful voice who refuses a solo because she thinks she can't stay on key alone; the bright young man who never speaks up in class because he thinks he would be mocked; the grandmother who won't pick up her grandbaby because she can't stop thinking about a movie in which a baby is injured when dropped. It is a comfort to us to recognize, as we see the Principles at work, that we are the creators of the content of all our thoughts. We cannot be harmed by our own imagination; we bring thoughts to life and then we are free to take them to heart or ignore them. The power TO think is our gift. Thoughts have no power but the power we give to them. Support the show

Episode 197: You're Not Special. Unique, Maybe, but Not Special

As we grow up, we start to think about ourselves. We react to our parents' and other adults' expectations of us, and measure our worth against our performance. We watch people we admire and compare ourselves to them. The more we start to wonder how we're doing, the more we use our thinking to compare ourselves to others when we feel uncertain or insecure. Some people brag and "talk a big game." Some people feel more and more inadequate and either tell others about the things they don't like about themselves, or just fade out of social interactions. No matter what we think about ourselves, it is just the "reality" we're creating with our own thoughts. The common attribute we all share is that we have the remarkable gift TO think, and whatever we bring to mind appears real to us. We are all creating our own unique reality. There's nothing special about any one thinker. Every human being lives in the power to create their experience of life. We enjoy life when we accept the ordinary fact of ever-changing thoughts, and just appreciate our ordinary life as thinkers. Support the show