Health & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-Improvement

PLAYING-IT-SAFE

Dr. Z. - Patricia Zurita Ona, Psy.D.

I'm Dr. Z., a clinical psychologist and an author. In PLAYING-IT-SAFE I will share with you research based-skills, interviews, readings, insights, tips, and all types of curated info to get unstuck from worries, anxieties, fears, obsessions, and ineffective playing-it-safe actions.

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21 episodes
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Avg 18 min
English

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August 21 · 18 min
106. Experiential Avoidance: The Hidden Way We Play-It-Safe
You're not avoiding the conversation. You're avoiding how it will feel to have it. If you've ever reorganized your inbox instead of making the difficult call or started researching instead of starting the thing, this episode is for you. This episode unpacks experiential avoidance: the mechanism underneath every playing-it-safe behavior. What you will learn: What experiential avoidance actually is, in plain language, no jargon, and why it's the engine behind ALL playing-it-safe behaviors including procrastination, overthinking, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Why your avoidance is intelligent and well-intentioned, and what it's costing you anyway. What psychological research tells us about how experiential avoidance predicts psychological suffering across every population studied. Willingness, and why it is NOT positive thinking, spiritual bypass, or "just feeling your feelings." Resources mentioned: Playing-it-safe questionnaire: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ ACT Beyond Perfectionism (online course): https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/act-beyond-perfectionism ACT for Indecisiveness (online course): https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/how-to-shift-from-indecisiveness-into-action Values-Based Life Audit (free resource): https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/d2a5e77ba3 ACT Coaching at East Bay Behavior Therapy Center: https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/act-coaching/ About Dr. Z: Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 266,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
August 11 · 13 min
105. Acceptance vs. Resignation: What Most People Get Wrong
You've been calling it acceptance. But, if your world has gotten quieter, smaller, and safer since the painful thing happened, that might be resignation. In this episode, Dr. Z tackles one of the most confusing distinctions in ACT: the difference between acceptance and resignation. If you've been thinking repetitively about a past loss, failure, or regret (going back over it, telling yourself you're learning from it, then finding yourself in the exact same loop tomorrow), this episode is for you. You'll leave with a clear understanding of what acceptance actually is (and is not), and a concrete four-step practice you can use today. What you will learn: The exact difference between acceptance and resignation — and why they feel the same from the inside What the war against your anxiety is actually costing you — and what changes when you stop fighting it Why you don't have to wait for the pain to go away before taking values-based action Resources: Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire (free, 5 minutes): https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ ACT Workbook for the Anxious Procrastinator: https://a.co/d/gAR36j9 Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors: https://amzn.to/3xT7j0T Free Audio Guide on ACT for High-Achieving Behaviors: https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/73a2c1b566 Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing-It-Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 266,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
August 4 · 19 min
104. Waiting for the Good Option: The Playing-It-Safe Trap
You're not missing information. You're missing a different question. This episode is for anyone sitting inside an impossible decision, one where every option feels wrong, the pros-and-cons list has been rewritten twelve times, you've talked to everyone you trust, and you still can't move. Your mind wasn't built for situations where both choices cost you something you care about. More deliberation isn't the answer, it's the trap. And there is a question that cuts through all of it. Not "what's the right choice?", but "what do I want to stand for here?" Resources mentioned: Values-Based Review (free): https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/d2a5e77ba3 ACT for Indecisiveness course: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/how-to-shift-from-indecisiveness-into-action Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire (free): https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 266,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 28 · 15 min
103. Drop the Crutch: How "Safety Behaviors" Keep You Anxious
She was at every party. But she was never fully in the room. Safety crutches, the subtle playing-it-safe moves that keep anxiety temporarily quiet, look nothing like avoidance. You're showing up. You're present. But you're also carrying a shield. And the shield is costing you every moment of real connection you're trying to build. This episode is for anyone who has ever walked into a situation with a plan already in place to feel less exposed — and wondered why the situation still felt so far away. In this episode, you will learn: What safety crutches actually are and why they look like coping but function like avoidance Why Paul Salkovskis's research on safety behaviors shows that the relief is borrowed — and what you're borrowing against What research on psychological flexibility reveals about why fighting anxiety makes it louder ACT skilsl for dropping subtle safety behaviors, one small moment at a time What your specific safety crutch is almost certainly protecting, and why that thing matters Resources mentioned: Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ About Dr. Z: Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, Dr. Z., is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 265,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 21 · 13 min
102. The Checking Trap
She got the answer. Felt better for twelve minutes. Then she asked again. Reassurance-seeking is one of the most common and least-recognized playing-it-safe behaviors. It looks like due diligence. It feels like self-care. And it is quietly tightening the anxiety loop every time you do it. This episode is for anyone who has ever Googled the same question in six different ways, or sent the same question to three different people to see if the answer would finally stick. In this episode, you will learn: Why reassurance feels like relief but functions like a tightening spiral What Stanley Rachman's research reveals about why safety behaviors maintain, not reduce, anxiety How Michel Dugas's intolerance of uncertainty model explains why more information is never enough ACT skills for interrupting the checking loop without white-knuckling through it The values-based reason the checking is worth interrupting Resources mentioned: Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ About Dr. Z: Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, Dr. Z., is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 265,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 13 · 12 min
101. Mind Gossip: When Your Thoughts Become Your Enemy
The presentation went well. For two days after, he couldn't stop replaying the four seconds when he lost his train of thought. His mind decided those four seconds were the truth about the whole thing, not the standing ovation. The four seconds. That's overvaluing and overidentifying with your thoughts, which is playing-it-safe behavior #7. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we call it cognitive fusion, and research shows that the harder you try to push the thought away, the louder it comes back. The skill isn't changing the thought. It's changing your relationship to it. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 6 · 10 min
100. How to Actually Do the Thing
After a distraction, it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to the original task. Not because you're weak. Because your environment was built using the same behavioral principles as slot machines to pull your attention away from what matters. Final episode of the Anxious Procrastinator series, the neuroscience of focus and what committed action actually looks like when you bring everything together. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 29 · 8 min
99. You Don't Have a Time Problem. You Have a Time Story.
Accurately estimating how hard something will be requires sitting with the discomfort of its difficulty. And your mind would rather not. In this new episode of Playing-It-Safe we discussed the research on time, flow states, and four principles that actually work for overthinkers and overachievers. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 22 · 10 min
98. The Goal Trap: Why Your Goals are Keeping You Stuck
"I want to finish this project" sounds like moving toward something. But, underneath it is often "I'm terrified of what it means if I don't." New episode of Playing-It-Safe: the three goal traps and the research on what actually produces commitment, satisfaction, and follow-through. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 15 · 9 min
97. Your Mind is Lying to You About Why You Can't Start
Your mind has a highly convincing list of reasons why right now isn’t the right time. In this episode, we unpack why those excuses sound so incredibly rational, how your brain uses them to keep you safe (and stuck), and the one behavioral shift that actually moves you forward. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 7 · 8 min
96. The Second Arrow, Why Being Hard on Yourself is Keeping You Stuck
Most high achievers believe being hard on themselves is what keeps them sharp. The research disagrees. People with higher self-compassion show greater motivation after failure, not less. And they procrastinate significantly less. New episode of the Playing-It-Safe Podcast: why the second arrow might be the thing most keeping you stuck. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 22 · 9 min
95. Stop Chasing Goals. Start Living Your Values.
External achievements account for only about 10% of lasting happiness. The 40% within your control? How you spend your time and what meaning you attach to it. New episode of the Playing-It-Safe Podcast: the research on values, meaning, and the birthday party exercise that shows you exactly where the gap is. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 17 · 9 min
94. You're Not Lazy, Your Mind is Just Very Good at This
Your mind isn't lazy! Researchers found that people who chronically procrastinate are more threat-sensitive. Not less motivated. What would you do this week if you weren't playing it safe? RESOURCES: Values-based Review: Life Audit _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jul 2, 2025 · 13 min
93. Understanding Procrastination: The Psychological Processes Behind It
In this episode, Dr. Z. dives deep into the world of procrastination, debunking common myths, exploring the different types of procrastinators, and unpacking the psychological processes that fuel our tendency to delay. Debunking the Myths of Procrastination Many of us have internalized misconceptions about procrastination. Dr. Z. tackles these head-on, revealing that procrastination is rarely about laziness or poor time management. Instead, it often stems from deeper psychological factors. For example, the myth that people “work better under pressure” is just that—a myth. Research shows that last-minute work rarely leads to better results and often increases stress. Similarly, blaming procrastination on a lack of willpower oversimplifies the issue; it’s more about understanding and addressing the underlying factors that drive problematic procrastination. Six Reflective Questions to Break the Cycle Dr. Z. shares six reflective questions to unpack the psychological roots of procrastinating behaviors. (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sep 10, 2024 · 24 min
92. Achieving your best: Goal-setting secrets from sports psychology
Today, I’m sharing with you a conversation with Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D. In our chat, we dive deep into the psychology of goal-setting, attachment to goals, over-identification with one area of our life, peak performance, and mental resilience. When you’re taking a big exam, dealing with a work project, or participating in an important match, how do you manage your worries about your performance and your desire to perform to the best of your abilities? Are you supportive of yourself without adding pressure into your plate? How do you think of yourself without all the stuff you do in your day-to-day life? While having goals is essential for your performance and motivation, they are just one piece of the puzzle. You also need to manage your mental chatter to perform at your best when it matters to you! You will hear Mitchell and I sharing our take on Roger Federer, Rick Barry, Kobe Bryant, Andre Agassi, and other professional athletes’ approach to their performance, expectations, and goal-setting. Whether you’re dealing with high-stakes sports scenarios or everyday life challenges, the principles to set your goals, how you relate to them, and how you approach your mental chatter remain the same. You can find meaning and joy by making small tweaks and savoring the good along the way! Hope you enjoy this episode! Key Takeaways Understanding fear-based reactions Setting goals for improved performance Managing mind chatter in sports The role of mental skills in athletic success Balancing life and sport: Lessons from Roger Federer and Andre Agassi The importance of parental support in youth sports Show notes 01:01 The Importance of Goal Setting 01:08 The Problem with Tunnel Vision 01:44 Importance of Outcome Goals 02:45 The Role of Action Goals 03:43 Goal setting and mental chatter 04:34 Managing Chatter for Success 05:30 Developing a New Relationship with Your Mind 06:01 Lessons from Roger Federer 06:43 Advice for Struggling Athletes 07:22 Mental Game of Professional Athletes 08:58 Perfectionism in Sports 11:42 Small Increments of Improvement 13:15 Leadership Challenges in Sports 13:55 Balancing Life and Sport 16:10 The Impact of Injuries on a Person’s Mindset 16:52 Parental Influence on Young Athletes 18:02 Coaching the Coaches (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Aug 13, 2024 · 31 min
91. Unlocking your potential: Conquering perfectionism and imposter phenomenon
In part 1 of my conversation with Monica Basco, Ph.D., Exploring the intersection of perfectionism, procrastination, and performance, we discussed the following topics: Perfectionism and high-achieving behaviors Understanding the impact of high goals The role of confidence in goal setting The intersection of perfectionism and procrastination In this second part of our conversation, Monica kindly shared her transition from academia to the White House as an introduction to the focus of this episode: the intersection of perfectionism and imposter phenomenon. Perfectionists set exceptionally high standards for themselves, displaying a relentless drive to achieve what they perceive as flawless outcomes. However, when these standards are not met, it can lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy. Even when they succeed, perfectionists may fear that others will see through their façade, further perpetuating the imposter phenomenon. A highlight of our conversation is the importance of discerning when perfectionistic actions are an asset and when they become a liability. Key Takeaways Perfectionism and imposter phenomenon Exploring imposter phenomenon Perfectionism and self-expectations Overcoming imposter syndrome The transition from academia to government Perfectionism in different contexts Balancing perfectionism and fear of failure Distinguishing when to turn on and off perfectionistic actions Show notes with time-stamps 00:00 The Intersection of Perfectionism and Imposter Phenomenon 05:03 Personal Story: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome 10:10 Transition from Academia to the White House 16:12 The Role of Perfectionism in Government and Science 18:23 Fear of Failure and Perfectionism 22:52 How Different Fears Influence Behavior (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 6, 2024 · 32 min
90. Overcoming fear of failure
Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies! If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now. When you’re pursuing a top performance – from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it’s fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and your well-being altogether. In this episode, Brad Stulberg and I discussed research-based skills to deal with high-achieving and striving behaviors in a skillful manner and without losing yourself. Key Takeaways How to distinguish when perfectionistic actions are working for you or against you The difference between values-based goals and ego-driven goals How to avoid burnout in the information era How to manage your proneness to perfectionistic actions Day-to-day experiences of experiential avoidance Tips to handle the fear of failure How to figure out what is on the other side of your fears How to practice self-compassion when handling our fears Show notes with time stamps 00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions 01:02 Overcoming Perfectionism 01:36 Interview with Brad Stulberg: High Achieving and Striving Behaviors 02:19 Reflecting on Your Life and Overcoming Overthinking 03:28 Living According to Your Values 04:10 Using a Values-Based Review to Live the Life You Want 04:46 Conversation with Brad Stulberg: Balancing Productivity and Wellbeing 05:43 Understanding the Double-Edged Sword of Optimization 08:44 Dealing with Fear of Failure and Regret 17:48 Navigating Ego-Driven Goals and Values-Based Goals 24:09 Overcoming Experiential Avoidance (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 17, 2024 · 31 min
89. Exploring the intersection of perfectionism, procrastination, and performance
Perfectionism isn’t a personality quirk. It’s a pattern of reinforced behaviors that can seep into every aspect of your life. You may set certain standards for yourself, certain rules about how things are supposed to be or how you are supposed to behave; while you may meet those standards for a while, they eventually - and inevitably - fall short. Then, you feel crushed. Then, you criticize yourself. And then, to drown out the negativity, you set new goals, standards, and expectations for yourself. The cycle of ineffective perfectionistic actions repeats and maintains itself. There is nothing wrong with striving to do things right and perfectly - that’s natural when you deeply care about things and what matters to you. And, as you have heard me say before, it’s extremely important that you learn to harness the power of perfectionistic actions without losing yourself. In this podcast episode, I chat with Monica Basco, Ph.D. We discuss specific topics related to perfectionism in detail: (a) A large part of the conversation clarifies how having high standards and being perfectionistic can be both, beneficial and detrimental, and finding the balance between the two is crucial. (b) We also discussed the interplay between perfectionistic behaviors and procrastination as two sides of the same coin. (c) Monica and I highlighted the fact that setting high-goals is productive when one can tolerate failure. However, learning to pursue what matters and learning to let things go - as the right thing to do - is also important. (d) Finally, we discuss ideas for you to conduct a functional analysis, or in other words, we discuss key questions for you to understand your drive to engage in perfectionistic actions (e.g., what is my mind trying to protect me from right now?) Key Takeaways Discussing perfectionism and high-achieving behaviors Understanding the impact of high goals The role of confidence in goal setting The intersection of perfectionism and procrastination Show notes with time-stamps 01:00 Understanding Fear and Perfectionism 01:31 Dealing with Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors 02:35 Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Perfectionism 04:14 Setting Goals and Dealing with Failure 05:12 Understanding Overachievement and Expectations 08:37 Dealing with Rejection and Pursuing Goals 20:43 Understanding the Intersection of Perfectionism and Procrastination (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 3, 2024 · 34 min
88. Harnessing the power of values-based exposures
Today’s episode takes off with discussing fears of driving. This is the starting point to discuss a key process within acceptance commitment therapy: values-based exposures. In this episode, you will learn the principles to approach your fears, worries, and anxieties in a flexible way and in the service of your values. Brian Thompson, Ph.D. and I covered different ACT skills such as defusion, values, willingness and what you can do if you’re getting stuck in conquering your fears or you’re afraid of starting the process of facing your anxieties. Key Takeaways What is willingness How to deal with uncertainty What to do when you’re powering through a fearful situation What is exposure Understanding fear-based reactions and safe behaviors Exploring the concept of exposure in overcoming fear Dealing with physical sensations during fearful situations The role of acceptance and commitment therapy in overcoming fear Understanding the concept of willingness in therapy Addressing fear of uncertainty and unpredictability Introduction to the upcoming book on act-informed exposure for anxiety Understanding act and exposure Dealing with chronic worry Effective problem solving vs. worry Show notes with time stamps 00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions and Safe Behaviors 01:00 Exploring Exposure Therapy and Anxiety 01:09 Dealing with Physical Sensations During Panic Attacks 02:44 Strategies to Manage Anxiety and Fear 03:39 Addressing Intrusive Thoughts and Fears 04:16 Understanding Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 07:33 Exploring Willingness in Therapy 14:28 Addressing Fear of Uncertainty 17:28 Introduction to ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety 19:19 Discussing the Book and Its Approach 19:44 Recommendations for Approaching the Book 19:45 Understanding the Process of Exposure 20:38 The Role of Repetition in Exposure 21:37 Handling Chronic Worries and Ruminations 22:12 Using ACT for Chronic Worry 23:11 Writing Imaginal Scripts for Worries 26:13 Effective Problem Solving vs. Worry 26:50 Distinguishing Between Productive and Unproductive Worry (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 20, 2023 · 22 min
87. How to perform your best when it matters most
Ever catch yourself engaging in incessant mind chatter in a high-stakes situation? The kind that fills your head with self-doubt, comparisons, and anticipations of failure? You're not alone. We all do it. But what if there was a way to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and embrace life's challenges with confidence? I had a chance to talk to Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D. regarding performance anxiety, managing self-doubt, and comparison thoughts among athletes or overthinkers. If you have been following the podcast, you know by now that by making room for your thoughts, rather than struggling against them, you can redirect your focus towards the present moment and towards what matters. In today’s episode, we discussed other micro-skills to manage mental chatter with curiosity and courage. Key Takeaways The pitfalls of positive thinking Managing mind chatter How to shift your attention from hypothetical worries to the present moment Redirecting your attention from “what if” to “what is” How to manage lapses in confidence A useful mindset to perform challenging tasks Exploring the concept of positive thinking Understanding mind chatter and its impact Strategies for managing mind chatter Applying mind chatter management in real-life scenarios (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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