Episode 0
I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. Some formal, some for fun, some to process. Writing is like breathing to me. It’s something I need to do. People talk about using your voice and I know that writing can be one way of doing that. But writing comes easily to me, for the most part. Talking? That’s harder.
Sure, I can hold a conversation. I have even performed in front of live audiences. But every time is followed by days, months, weeks, and sometimes years of rumination. Should I have said this differently? Did I make sense? Did I talk too much? Not enough? Did people think I was crazy when I said xyz?
The anxiety involved in using my actual voice is much higher than writing. That’s why I’ve had a blog for nineteen years. I can write down my thoughts and send it out into the world and barely think about it. I rarely re-read what I’ve written here on the blog. At least, not for the purpose of improving it or changing anything. Sure, there have been times that I’ve hesitated to hit the publish button but overall, I post and move on.
That’s why this month I’m going to try something new. I’m going to talk. With my voice. I’m going to put my voice out into the world and try not to have a panic attack about it or edit it to pieces because it doesn’t sound like I thought it would. You’ll notice a lot of pauses and rambling in this first episode. I chose not to edit it out because I want to be real with you. This s**t scares me, and you can tell. Do you know how long it took me to pick an intro/outro?! I’m praying it gets easier.
This is the start of something that I hope will continue. I’m not entirely certain where it will go but look forward to finding out. Join me as I use my voice. I’ll be looking for guests soon. For now, you get to hear me ramble.
