Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

602 - Why You Miss Someone Who Hurt You

Today we're talking about missing past relationships and partners, even if they hurt you or weren't good experiences. Most advice just says to get over it, but we're going to spend some time on why you miss these people and how wanting someone and enjoying someone run on different parts of the brain, and only one of them gets the memo that they were bad for you. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory Go to DIPSEASTORIES.com/MULTI for your first week FREE - then 25% off. That’s D-I-P-S-E-A STORIES DOT COM slash MULTI. Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

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601 - Polyamory as a Political Movement with Dr. Kim TallBear

This week we're excited to welcome back Kim Tallbear to the show to talk about polyamory as a political movement. Kim TallBear (Sisseton-Wahpeton Oyate citizen) is Professor of American Indian Studies at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. She is the author of Native American DNA: Tribal Belonging and the False Promise of Genetic Science. In addition to studying genome science disruptions to Indigenous self-definitions, Dr. TallBear studies colonial disruptions to Indigenous sexual relations. She is also a regular media commentator on topics including Indigenous peoples, science, and technology; Indigenous sexualities; and the politics of non-monogamy. You can also follow her Substack newsletter, Unsettle: Indigenous affairs, cultural politics & (de)colonization. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory If you want to boost your confidence, land a new role, or win a promotion, check out thorholt.com, and on LinkedIn by searching Thor Holt. Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

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600 - So Your Hinge Sucks at Hinge-ing

We're discussing hinge partners this episode, specifically what to do when a hinge partner is struggling at being a good hinge. We've got some updated research to go over since our last episode about hinges, and we'll have some actionable ways to deal with the frustration of a bad hinge. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory If you want to boost your confidence, land a new role, or win a promotion, check out thorholt.com, and on LinkedIn by searching Thor Holt. Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

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599 - What Do I Do When Both My Partners Want Marriage? Listener Q&A

We're tackling another listener question this episode, this time about marriage. What happens when multiple people want to marry you? If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community! Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY If you want to boost your confidence, land a new role, or win a promotion, check out thorholt.com, and on LinkedIn by searching Thor Holt. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

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We Made History. Let's Do It Again: The 2026 OPEN Community Survey

OPEN's 2026 non-monogamy community survey is officially live, and we want you to be part of it! Add your voice here: multiamory.com/survey Last year's survey was the largest research study of the non-monogamous community ever, with over 5,800 people from 65 countries. Multiamory listeners were one of the biggest source of responses. Let's do it again! OPEN is the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

598 - Over-Functioning in Relationships: Why Taking On More Makes It Worse

This week we're diving into over-functioning in relationships and how it can actually work against us. We'll be discussing some of the research available about group projects, how anxiety affects negotiation, and how accurately (or inaccurately) we tend to estimate our own contributions to a relationship. As always, we'll go over some tips and tricks at the end to improve your relationships and work-life balance! Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Go to DIPSEASTORIES.com/MULTI for your first week FREE - then 25% off. That’s D-I-P-S-E-A STORIES DOT COM slash MULTI. If you want to boost your confidence, land a new role, or win a promotion, check out thorholt.com, and on LinkedIn by searching Thor Holt. Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

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597 - What are Asexuality and Aromanticism (with Patrick Bex)?

We're excited to welcome Patrick Bex to the show this week to talk about asexuality and aromanticism! Patrick is an aroace advocate, content creator, and author best known for his Fluently Aspec social media platforms that educate about aromantic and asexual experiences. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Try out Attuned, an intimacy app built for all relationship structures. Take a science-backed intimacy survey, discover how your profiles align, and explore personalized activities together. Couples, throuples, and configurations up to 6 people — all orientations, all genders. Download free at ⁠getattuned.app⁠ and use code MULTI for 20% off premium. Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

• Transcript

597 - What are Asexuality and Aromanticism (with Patrick Bex)?

We're excited to welcome Patrick Bex to the show this week to talk about asexuality and aromanticism! Patrick is an aroace advocate, content creator, and author best known for his Fluently Aspec social media platforms that educate about aromantic and asexu

596 - Relationship OCD and Non-monogamy (with Sheva Rajaee MFT)

Today we're diving into the world of OCD, specifically relationship OCD, with Sheva Rajaee. Sheva is a licensed marriage and family therapist, director of The Center for Anxiety and OCD, and the author of the book Relationship OCD. She is globally recognized for her work treating and addressing chronic doubt, commitment phobia, and anxiety in romantic relationships. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

• Transcript

596 - Relationship OCD and Non-monogamy (with Sheva Rajaee MFT)

Today we're diving into the world of OCD, specifically relationship OCD, with Sheva Rajaee. Sheva is a licensed marriage and family therapist, director of The Center for Anxiety and OCD, and the author of the book Relationship OCD. She is globally recogni

595 - Does My Metamour Owe Me Their STI Results? - Listener Q&A

We've got another Q&A episode this week, and this time we're answering two listener questions about sexual health and STI protocol among non-monogamous partners! Generally speaking, non-monogamous folks have better communication around safer sex and STI risk, but sometimes communication breakdowns happen and that's what we're covering today! Visit www.multiamory.com/join to become part of our exclusive community if you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode! Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

• Transcript

595 - Does My Metamour Owe Me Their STI Results? - Listener Q&A

We've got another Q&A episode this week, and this time we're answering two listener questions about sexual health and STI protocol among non-monogamous partners! Generally speaking, non-monogamous folks have better communication around safer sex and STI r

594 - Open Up Your Relationship in X Easy Steps

Today we're diving into the internet's favorite genre of relationship advice: open up your relationship in X easy steps! We spent time gathering advice and tips from journalists, therapists, forums, coaches, and Reddit to try to gather some common knowledge and put it together into our own version of a guide to open up a relationship. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Go to DIPSEASTORIES.com/MULTI for your first week FREE - then 25% off. That’s D-I-P-S-E-A STORIES DOT COM slash MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

• Transcript

594 - Open Up Your Relationship in X Easy Steps

Today we're diving into the internet's favorite genre of relationship advice: open up your relationship in X easy steps! We spent time gathering advice and tips from journalists, therapists, forums, coaches, and Reddit to try to gather some common knowledg

Summer Break

Hey everyone, we’re taking this week off! Here's where you can find us (or a version of us) while we're away: Hang out in our private Discord community → multiamory.com/join Join Dedeker on retreat in Italy → multiamory.com/retreat Work with Emily — she has a few open slots for coaching clients right now. Reach out to grab one at multiamory.link/emcoaching We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you soon!

Summer Break

Hey everyone, we’re taking this week off! Here's where you can find us (or a version of us) while we're away: Hang out in our private Discord community → multiamory.com/join Join Dedeker on retreat in Italy → multiamory.com/retreat Work with Emily — she ha

593 - The Lost Science of Flirting

Today we're diving into the science of flirting! Nowadays, flirting feels harder than it used to be, and we're going to be bringing some of the research to light about why that is. Flirting isn't a lost art, it's actually an invisible one - we only pick up

593 - The Lost Science of Flirting

Today we're diving into the science of flirting! Nowadays, flirting feels harder than it used to be, and we're going to be bringing some of the research to light about why that is. Flirting isn't a lost art, it's actually an invisible one - we only pick up on someone flirting with us about 28% of the time. We're going to discuss what a "no" looks like, why mirroring and the concept of a gaydar doesn't actually hold up, and what actually DOES help, according to the research. Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Try out Attuned, an intimacy app built for all relationship structures. Take a science-backed intimacy survey, discover how your profiles align, and explore personalized activities together. Couples, throuples, and configurations up to 6 people — all orientations, all genders. Download free at ⁠getattuned.app⁠ and use code MULTI for 20% off premium. Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

• Transcript

592 - Intimacy When Sex Is Off the Table - Listener Q&A

Today we're tackling another listener question about intimacy that doesn't involve sex. Whether it's a physical reason or just a desire to be intimate without having sex, we all want to connect this way sometimes. We're going to talk about some techniques from sex therapy, the science of great sex, and why non-sexual touch can be so beneficial. If you want to have one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community! Join our amazing community of listeners at ⁠multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Today’s episode is sponsored by Bellesa Boutique! Sign up to win a free WhisperVibe™ or free Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! bbvibes.com/Multiamory Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, ⁠Uberlube⁠ and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by ⁠Josh and Anand⁠ Follow us on Instagram ⁠@Multiamory_Podcast⁠ and visit our website ⁠Multiamory.com⁠. We are a proud member of the ⁠Pleasure Podcasts⁠ network.

• Transcript

592 - Intimacy When Sex Is Off the Table - Listener Q&A

Today we're tackling another listener question about intimacy that doesn't involve sex. Whether it's a physical reason or just a desire to be intimate without having sex, we all want to connect this way sometimes. We're going to talk about some techniques