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Exquisite Suffering

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Why are you doing even more of this to us? Exquisite Suffering is what we call the premium episodes of our show that's kind of about bad games, Abject Suffering. For several years we offered two extra episodes of the show per month to our patrons. Now, the extensive backlog of those episodes is one of the more valuable reasons to become a member!

This show is not currently releasing episodes, but Abject Suffering continues.

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  • 204 episodes
  • Updated Jan 19, 2025
  • Explicit

Episodes204

Newest first
  • Jan 17, 2019 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 61: Frogger: The Great Quest

    Everyone knows Frogger. It's an okay/fine arcade game with a novel premise, starring one of natures chillest animals. But we had no idea that Konami, of all people, took Frogger and ran with it, creating the extended Frogiverse. And it all began with Frogger: The Great Quest. A frog does not know how to rule a kingdom! It will die!

  • Jan 3, 2019 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 60: American Idol

    It would be bad enough if we were talking about the PS2 version of the game based on American Idol ("Pop Idol" in Europe). Instead, we're talking about the GameBoy Advance version of this misguided rhythm game where nothing you do matters! And of course I included audio samples.

  • Dec 21, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 59: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

    It's a question for the ages, even though it was answered in that one movie. Roger Rabbit was a landmark film that explored the concept of sexy cartoons in a slightly less creepy way than Cool World. The game based on it is a strange adventure title made by Rare, that tries to lean into the mystery story but ends up being mostly about looking through empty drawers.

  • Dec 7, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 58: Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood

    Someone at BioWare has an abiding passion for the lore and mythos of Sonic the Hedgehog. It kind of casts a pall over all of their work, doesn't it? This is a boring lite RPG for kids, so we spend most of our time discussing whether or not Sonic is a selfish lover (he totally is, you guys).

  • Nov 23, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 57: Mad Max

    When ROMs are outlawed, only outlaws will have ROMs. Mad Max for the NES is a very strange game, approximating a survival experience while also being way too difficult. Those meters just don't want to stay full. We also talk about the more modern Mad Max game, and ponder why big games lose steam.

  • Nov 9, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 56: Rex Ronan: Experimental Surgeon

    We resisted talking about smoking for so long. It was a temptation, as Rex Ronan is an educational game that aims to teach kids how smoking will mess up your body. So we talk about the absurdities of experimental surgery, and do some GameFAQs stuff... but we fuck it up in the last ten minutes or so. Sorry.

  • Oct 18, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 55: Young Merlin

    It's time to play our favorite game, that old standard: Which Wizard is coolest? Honestly, there's not a whole lot to talk about with this game, aside from how weird blonds are. So we wiz it up.

  • Oct 10, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 54: Predator

    They keep trying to make Predator happen, but he always plays second fiddle to them crazy penis bugs. We look at the abysmal NES Predator game and try to figure out why. Just, why? Also, we check in on Arnold (since it's been a while), and we visit the Kasket Korner, since our friend and enemy KasketDarkfyre did a pretty bad review for this game.

  • Oct 3, 2018

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 53: Pokémon Dash

    Quick Note: My schedule was upended by my move, so this is September's second premium episode of Abject Suffering. There will be two more Exquisite Suffering episodes coming out this month. I apologize for the confusion. - Kole If you say the word "Pokémon" nowadays, people will stare at you gape-mawed, because nobody remembers this long-forgotten Nintendo franchise. Its plunge into obscurity was caused by Pokémon Dash, a kiddie racing game for kiddies that completely ruined the Pokémon name.

  • Sep 6, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 52: Herdy Gerdy

    It's a long-running question that we're pretty much done with: can a unique concept make up for terrible execution? Yes, there can be a game about herding creatures. Shepherd sims are pretty rare, outside of Mass Effect. But Herdy Gerdy is a real mess that tries to take the worst aspects of Zelda and make them its own. Put simply: we don't like the meat, and we sure don't like the bone.

  • Aug 16, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 51: PO'ed

    Add another one to our Motion Sickness Suite. Originally a 3DO-exclusive answer to Doom-like hallway crawlers, PO'ed tried very hard to establish its own voice by being irreverent and gross. So you go around slapping walking butt-vaginas with frying pans in a frictionless void. When we're done talking about the game, we talk about anger... and how we don't feel emotions anymore.

  • Aug 1, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 50: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

    In all the years we've been creating podcasts, we've never really talked about Harry Potter at length. And when a Harry Potter game went up on our Abject Suffrage poll, you all voted with enthusiasm to hear about it. So, this episode is nominally about the GameBoy Advance version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, a kiddy action RPG. However, it's mostly about our pitch for a movie about the hard partying early days of everyone's favorite crass uncle: The Sorting Hat.

  • Jul 18, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 49: Star Wars Episode 1: Racer

    It's always a challenge when we're asked to cover a game that's actually good, because there's only so many ways to say "yeah, it works really well." So we make do. We talk a little bit about Star Wars, but that's a dry well too. What's not dry? Condoms and how they contribute to real life environmental storytelling.

  • Jul 5, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 48: Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII

    I think everybody's response to Final Fantasy VII was "that story was way too short, incomplete, and I wish I knew what happened to that incidental character three years later." This maximalist attitude brought us the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, and Dirge of Cerberus. It's not a bad thing for a studio to break out of its genre, but Square shouldn't make shooters. Listen in to find out why.

  • Jun 20, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 47: Runescape

    It's a rare occasion when we cover an MMO for a show, so we want to go all out. Get the community on board. Or at least, we try to. Runescape turned out to be a tough nut to crack, leading to a night of vaguely confused wandering. This episode features a special guest performance of Stomp right outside Gary's window.

  • May 18, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 45: Kid Klown in Crazy Chase

    Let's all go to the county fair and become animals. Also, let's get sentimental over the strongest clown, who eclipses all weak clowns. Least of all, let's talk about this very pretty, but poorly designed game about a clown making a chase.

  • May 2, 2018 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 44: Small Soldiers

    God's only perfect creation, Tommy Lee Jones, once voiced an action figure who tried to torture a boy. That was the genesis of Small Soldiers, an attempted multimedia franchise with the craziest casting and the wildest soundtrack. This episode was originally supposed to be about the "Globotech Design Lab" game, but that wouldn't run, so we did a survey of the property instead. And Kole also talks about stop #1 on his Kastle Quest.