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Exquisite Suffering

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Why are you doing even more of this to us? Exquisite Suffering is what we call the premium episodes of our show that's kind of about bad games, Abject Suffering. For several years we offered two extra episodes of the show per month to our patrons. Now, the extensive backlog of those episodes is one of the more valuable reasons to become a member!

This show is not currently releasing episodes, but Abject Suffering continues.

Public RSS Feed: https://www.patreon.com/rss/80117?show=1322471

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  • 204 episodes
  • Updated Jan 19, 2025
  • Explicit

Episodes204

Newest first
  • Oct 21, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 103: Garfield: Caught in the Act

    The middle part of the 16-bit era brought us a lot of platformers that were pretty to look at, at the expense of fluidity of play. Garfield: Caught in the Act was a part of this wave, featuring very pretty sprites with fluid animation that really got in the way of moving that big ol' cat around. But that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to talk about all of the biggest Garfield news, and to do a deep dive on the problematic founder of Garfield Eats.

  • Oct 14, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 102: Mr. Bean

    Mr. Bean is the world's favorite pre-verbal homunculus, blundering around like a Roomba and upsetting society ladies. Don't worry, we don't see Mr. Bean as an indictment of the British isles like, say, Little Britain. We just don't get him! And that probably has to do with not really being exposed to him at an age when Bean antics would have taken. What we can all agree on is that the PS2 game that bears Mr. Bean's name is just awful.

  • Sep 22, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 101: Toy Story

    A groundbreaking 3D animated feature film became a very bad platformer developed and published by... drum roll... Psygnosis! So you know exactly what that means. Impressive but dated visuals and basically unplayable. We also talk about the fundamental problems with Toy Story and its message, and endeavor to rehabilitate Sid's image.

  • Sep 2, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 100: The Adventures of Mighty Max

    Our centennial premium episode talks about The Adventures of Mighty Max, a truly awful 16-bit platformer based off of the "boy" version of Polly Pocket play sets. But we'd rather spend this time inventing the perfect son, Teeny Timmy, who will cleanse us of our sins.

  • Aug 19, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 99: Little Britain

    Listen, Britain. You tried to pull a fast one on us. You pretend to be all smooth and clever, exporting media that shows an acerbic wit alongside truly engaging whimsey. But that facade can't last forever. Not when we here in America know about the disaster of bad taste that is "Little Britain", a sketch show whose only rule seems to be "punch down". And someone thought it would be a good idea to make a minigame collection out of its most infamous sketches. Shame on you.

  • Aug 10, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 98: Fight Club

    Fight Club is an entertaining movie based on a fun enough pulp book. It's also widely misunderstood as endorsing the things it seeks to condemn. All of that nuance is lost when you make the property into a PS2 game that introduces the "x-ray zoom in on broken bones" visual effect, and rewards you with the ability to play as Fred "Limp Bizkit" Durst.

  • Jul 15, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 97: B.O.B.

    B.O.B. is a pretty insubstantial game, so this episode continues our exploration of iconoclastry before descending into the madness trapped within a particularly tasteless tattoo and the horrible Twitter behavior of a particularly onerous AAA game studio executive.

  • Jul 1, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 96: Santa Claus Saves the Earth

    We catch a strange breeze here and ride it until our sails fray. In the depths of summer, an uninspired platformer causes us to turn toward attacking and dethroning Santa, holiday porn, and how plausible it is to live as a killer for hire. This is continued in the next episode.

  • Jun 5, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 94: Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero

    Any day you don't wake up as Motaro is a victory. But what's not a victory is Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero, a misguided attempt to make a platformer out of the MK engine that looks into the backstory of the series' most famous character. It's just really bad!

  • May 20, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 93: Creatures

    This series of elaborate virtual pet games that supposedly modeled very complex genetics and behaviors has spawned a very wholesome community of dedicated weirdos. Which is weird, because all the creatures do is walk left and right.

  • May 6, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 92: Homie Rollerz

    This game is ridiculously bad, don't get us wrong. But we ended up kind of being down with Homie figurines as a product, despite being ready to find them unpalatable. Turns out their creator is really in tune with his audience, and the toys/comics are a force for good. Additionally: Gary springs an absurd surprise on Kole.

  • Apr 15, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 91: Rogue Warrior

    Richard "Dynamite Dick" "Demo Dick" "Rogue Warrior" Marcinko is a foul-mouthed former Navy Seal who committed a bunch of war crimes, wrote an autobiography, then wrote a series of fictional books about things he would have done, then wrote a self help business book. Then 20 years later there was a horrible video game based on him, with a rap song at the end. Mickey Rourke did the voice. Welp, that's all you need to know.

  • Apr 2, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 90: Bomberman Hero

    We both like Bomberman quite a lot. This, though, is not Bomberman, because it succumbs to the late-90s sickness of needing to make everything a mascot platformer with shitty friends and too much dialogue. Also, we talk about quarantine and weird reviews. Because of course we do!

  • Mar 18, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 89: Portal Runner

    It's shocking that we've recorded nearly 500 of these things, and haven't yet talked about an Army Men game. Well, here we are. The first thing you need to understand is that there's a depressing amount of Army Men lore. The second thing you need to understand is that 3DO was a massive bully to publications. The third thing you need to understand is that this game was released on 9/11/2001.

  • Mar 6, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 88: Urban Yeti

    It's a classic fish out of water story, and you must help our Blacktop Bigfoot learn how to serve food, swim in the sewer, and ultimately: fuck. This is a crazy game that feels like an artifact from another dimension, and it's kind of difficult to describe in words.

  • Feb 19, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 87: Hong Kong 97

    Hong Kong 97 is a joke game developed by a Japanese columnist back in the mid-90s. In that regard it's actually impressive, though it's difficult to discern exactly what this is satirizing. You play as a heroin-addicted relative of Jackie Chan, trying to stop the "fuckin' reds" from invading the recently annexed Hong Kong. It's super weird, so we talk about clown sex.

  • Jan 22, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 85: BloodNet

    This premium episode is about a cyberpunk roleplaying adventure game with vampires. Because this topic speaks to us so much, we decided to spend a good deal of time talking about the felons our schools hired to inspire us.

  • Jan 8, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 84: The Grinch

    If you ever needed proof that these games are pulled for voting randomly, the Christmas game winning in January is it. We spend a good deal of time talking about the nightmare fever dream that is Jim Carey's Grinch movie, and also hit on the absolutely bog standard 3D platformer as well.