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Exquisite Suffering

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Why are you doing even more of this to us? Exquisite Suffering is what we call the premium episodes of our show that's kind of about bad games, Abject Suffering. For several years we offered two extra episodes of the show per month to our patrons. Now, the extensive backlog of those episodes is one of the more valuable reasons to become a member!

This show is not currently releasing episodes, but Abject Suffering continues.

Public RSS Feed: https://www.patreon.com/rss/80117?show=1322471

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  • 204 episodes
  • Updated Jan 19, 2025
  • Explicit

Episodes204

Newest first
  • Aug 19, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 123: Hard Times

    Our old friend Matt Dickie turns his sights on making a... realistic?... simulation of prison life. Featuring lots of people in Bane masks. And full-screen brawls. And people carrying around television cameras. And toilets. And people telling you to stop being friends with yourself.

  • Aug 11, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 122: Swamp Thing

    Nothing good ever happens to fictional people named Alec. Alec Trevelyan, Alec Holland, Alec Baldwin.... You might look at Swamp Thing fondly because of Alan Moore's run on the comic series, but most other attempts to use this strange character end up being really misguided and hollow. Case in point, this very bad NES game based on the very bad animated series.

  • Jul 21, 2021

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 121: The Untouchables

    In this strange episode we try to cancel Eliot Ness, the babyfaced cop who brought down Al Capone. And we settle on pretending to be mad about adoption for some reason. Also, the game adaptation of The Untouchables is really bad and you shouldn't play it.

  • Jul 13, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 120: Castlevania (DOS)

    There once was a time when the more your PC tried to be a console, the worse it was. And that's all this is: worse Castlevania. But we don't have a lot of new stuff to say about Castlevania, so instead we hear four short horror stories about being trapped in cars with baffling people.

  • Jun 29, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 119: Champions of Zulula

    Champions of Zulula is an amateur DOS fighting game where you play as any number of champions from strange, fantastical races like "Squid" and "Ostrich" who have gathered in Zulula to fight for supremacy. The game isn't very good, so instead we spend time clowning on ridiculous commercials from Gary's youth. We discuss three Eagleman Insurance commercials in this episode. Here's the first, here's the second, here's the third.

  • May 26, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 117: Brain Dead 13

    This forgotten followup to Dragon's Lair and Space Ace is charmless, confusing, and it expects us to care about an imp named Fritz. So instead, we revisit the concept of Roomba Force.

  • May 13, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 116: Virtual Bart

    Virtual Bart takes us back to a simpler time when we had much grander ideas of what VR could do. And it uses this unfettered imagination to give us Pig Bart and Dino Bart. We also spend time wondering what Virtual Eggs could do, which brings our attention to this monstrosity.

  • Apr 22, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 114: Evil Dead: Hail to the King

    What do you do when you've told the story of the cabin twice? You tell it a third time! Ash goes back to the cabin for basically no reason, and gets into bad Resident Evil clone hijinks that are pretty much devoid of the humor from the movies.

  • Mar 24, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 113: Cliffhanger

    There are many implausible things about the movie Cliffhanger. First and foremost, we're to accept John Lithgow as a villain. Second, is everything else. The Cliffhanger game, unfortunately, is an uninspired brawler/platformer in the vein of Double Dragon. And we didn't even play the version that has you, apparently, snowboarding on a corpse.

  • Mar 9, 2021

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 112: Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare

    When you think of Alone in the Dark, you probably associate it with good things. It helped establish the survival horror genre! It's Lovecraftian as all hell! But the truth is, outside of that first game, the series just isn't that good. Enter Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare for GameBoy Color... the port that shouldn't be, of the reboot that shouldn't have been.

  • Feb 17, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 111: Mort the Chicken

    It's a late-era PSX game that looks and plays like a launch-era PSX game, and all it has going for it is its sense of humor. You play as Mort, a chicken who must rescue baby chicks from the invading interdimensional cubes from Buillon.

  • Feb 8, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 110: Carmageddon 64

    Before there was a Grand Theft Auto III, we had Carmageddon to generate moral outrages amongst legislators. The PC games were ahead of their time, which makes the hobbled N64 port a real shame. But can car combat be any good? And did we have it wrong when we said demolition derbies were boring?

  • Jan 20, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 109: Mace: The Dark Age

    You all voted for another 3D fighter, this time with characters too boring to do a roster run. So we talk about QAnon and the fallout left to us after Biden's inauguration! We hope you're happy.

  • Jan 16, 2021 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 108: Ehrgeiz: God Bless the Ring

    A familiar face can move a lot of units. That was the theory behind releasing Ehrgeiz: God Bless the Ring in the U.S. It was a bad 3D arcade fighter, so they decided to sweeten the pot with characters from Final Fantasy VII, and they added a weird dungeon crawling mode. It wasn't enough.

  • Dec 28, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 107: Sprung

    Sprung was an early attempt by Ubisoft to Americanize the dating sim/visual novel. It's the story of either Brett or Becky, two lifelong friends who are headed to a mountain to get their bone on with randos, when they should realize what they were looking for was right in front of them all along. It's really not good, and we talk about how weird this kind of dating culture is in general.

  • Dec 16, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 106: Playboy the Mansion

    This is a very strange game from that time in the early 2000s when people looked at PlayStation 2s and said "I think this should make people horny". You play as Hugh Hefner in a mash-up of The Sims and Smut Tycoon, throwing parties and hiring writers and things like that. Disappointingly, the actual game features very little Piss 2000.

  • Nov 26, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 105: Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys

    It's rare that we find something so strange and awful that we need to share it in its entirety. This strange Snow White "game" is one of those awful things. This is a low effort minigame collection where each game clumsily uses assets from the centerpiece of the product, a seven minute animated retelling of the story of Snow White. Except is bad. Really bad. At a certain point we decide to just do a commentary of it, so click here to follow along if you want to.

  • Nov 13, 2020 · 5 min

    [PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 104: Nightmare on Elm Street

    Freddy is objectively the most entertaining of the slasher monsters. But how could he get better? Sure, he has clashed with Jason before, but that's not a conflict of like vs. like. We propose a friendly rivalry between Freddy and Beetlejuice, where they can really sharpen their blades against each other... As long as Lydia doesn't make Beetlejuice soft first.