Exquisite Suffering

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Why are you doing even more of this to us? Exquisite Suffering is what we call the premium episodes of our show that's kind of about bad games, Abject Suffering. For several years we offered two extra episodes of the show per month to our patrons. Now, the extensive backlog of those episodes is one of the more valuable reasons to become a member!

This show is not currently releasing episodes, but Abject Suffering continues.

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204 episodes
Updated Jan 19, 2025
Explicit

Episodes204

Newest first

Apr 18, 2018 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 43: Tongue of the Fatman
It's sometimes called Slaughter Sport. Maybe Mondu's Fight Palace. In Japan it's simply called Fatman. But everyone knows it by its ridiculous original title: Tongue of the Fatman. Bizarrely, this game predates Mortal Kombat, while also bearing a superficial similarity to its aesthetic. The game barely works, so expect us to talk a lot about that aesthetic... and even more about nipples.
Apr 4, 2018 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 42: A Boy and His Blob: Trouble on Blobolonia
David Crane was a foundational figure in early video games, but that man loved him some obtuse mechanics. "A Boy and His Blob" drew in lots of kids with its E.T.-esque storyline, but repelled a lot of them because it's not the kind of game that wants you to play it. We dig into this, and more, but also try to pick the right pet for Kole.
Mar 15, 2018 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 41: No Rules: Get Phat
What is this, why does it exist, how did it get approved, and who bought it? No Rules: Get Phat isn't tied to any cartoon, even though it looks like it should be. There's no movie, no novelty song, no toy. It just... is. Let's try to unravel this mystery together, though I gotta tell you that we don't get very far before we start talking about gym class.
Mar 7, 2018 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 40: Brutal: Paws of Fury
A bland and bad 16-bit platformer inspires a sober contemplation of how weird it is that the fringe elements of the internet are intersecting with everyday mainstream life. It's more entertaining than it sounds, we hope.
Feb 21, 2018 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 39: Croc: Legend of the Gobbos
Behold the Mario 64 that might have been. Argonaut was on top of the world, doing 3D programming for Nintendo. When they cooked up a prototype 3D Yoshi game in their spare time, Nintendo was intrigued... but they passed. So the two organizations went their separate ways. That prototype became Croc, while Nintendo went on to make Mario 64. Are these things related? I don't know, let's just talk about pubes.
Feb 7, 2018 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 38: The Simpsons: Bart's Nightmare
We'll never not have something to say about The Simpsons. Or the recent bumper crop of quality Simpsons memes. What's more difficult to talk about is this abysmal collection of surreal Simpsons minigames. So instead we do what we always do, and range far afield.
Jan 17, 2018 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 37: Rageball
Welcome to futuresports, prisoner. Welcome to... THE HELL. Rageball envisions a world where all balls are skulls, and all sport is blood. It's murderball without the wheels, and anything goes... except moving quickly. But we feel the best way to describe it is with an acrostic about Ass Bart.
Jan 4, 2018 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 36: Street Fighter: The Movie
The 1994 Street Fighter movie is a lot of fun. And you might think the game based on it, which nominally plays like Street Fighter II, might be fine. However, it's a complete mess for various technical reasons. Come explore these reasons with us, as we also talk about the mechanics of Milkshake Ducking, Action Hero Afterlives, and other topics.
Dec 20, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 35: Beetlejuice
This episode is meandering... even for us. Beetlejuice is a horror comedy classic, from the days before Tim Burton lost his goddamn mind and wore out his welcome. This game for the NES is chock-full of misguided design decisions and is barely functional... so we talk about movies in general, including the one about the tiny man who pays less rent.
Dec 6, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 34: Darkened Skye
From the video game legends at Simon & Schuster and the genius behind Skittles (the candy), we bring you a Zelda clone called Darkened Skye. Navigate worlds themed after Skittles commercials while casting Skittles magic and listening to your shitty wisecracking imp friend.
Nov 15, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 33: Crypt Worlds
This episode solidifies an axiom for Abject Suffering episodes: the funnier a game is trying to be, the more serious the episode will end up. Crypt Worlds is a 2013 anti-game that's chock full of surreal imagery and weird-Twitter-like writing. It's also not bad, but we have questions about what it's trying to accomplish... and how effectively it's accomplishing it.
Nov 1, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 32: Little Nicky
When there's no more room in hell, Harvey Keitel will fall apart and Jon Lovitz will masturbate in a tree. Little Nicky isn't just a singularly unpleasant movie, it's a completely inexplicable GameBoy Color game. Listen in to hear us talk about its platforming, its mini-games, and the physiological effects of shooting arrows from private places.
Oct 18, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 31: Earnest Evans
Imagine a completely circular rack of ribs rotating in the middle distance. Do you approach it with wonder, hoping to shave some delicious morsels off with your front teeth? Then welcome home, brother or sister. We're happy to have you. Welcome to the order of Hastur.
Oct 4, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 30: Hugo
Listen in as two Americans discover a European sensation for the very first time. Hugo for the PlayStation is a collection of games that were originally played on broadcast television, which where controlled by phone. It was also a cross-media sensation, creating a whole universe of ugly, shitty little trolls that frolic around and give you fuck-me eyes.
Sep 20, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 29: A Bug's Life
A pale imitator to ANTZ, A Bug's Life was Pixar's side project wile working on lucrative Buzz 'n' Woods movies. How exactly would such a thing translate to a video game? Only time, this show, and stories about Trash Friends can tell.
Sep 6, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 28: Resident Evil: Survivor
We love Resident Evil, and are willing to extend it a lot of leeway. However, this entry is a bridge too far. At the height of their powers, the Resident Evil team decided to make a hybrid FPS/light gun/survival horror game on the PSX of all systems. The result is bland and muddled, even if it adds a little to Umbrella lore.
Aug 16, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 27: Sewer Shark
Maybe FMV games are actually good and fun? That's what we've concluded after we played Sewer Shark, with Night Trap and Contradiction in mind. Though this is the most "game-like" of the FMV games we've played, the play is no great shakes. However, the low stakes, low production value approach to video like this lends to a kind of acting and presentation that is unique to games of this vintage and style. Listen for more.
Aug 2, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 26: Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest
Kole recently suffered a head injury that leads him to think really bad RPGs are just fine, so this episode is slightly contentious. Well, not really. That would be too complicated for foreign audiences, so we dumbed it down real good.
Jul 19, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 25: Ultraman: Towards the Future
Why, oh why, did it have to be another boring 16-bit fighting game? Ultraman's storied history doesn't mean much of anything if you don't have affection for the kaiju genre. So, we quickly lose focus and talk about Gary's massage experience and the wonderful qualities of CBD.
Jul 5, 2017 · 5 min
[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 24: Cherry Tree High Comedy Club
Looking at that cover art, you probably think you can guess the general tone and arc of this episode. You'd be wrong though... Instead of talking about anime tropes that make us sigh with annoyance, we take apart a game about comedy that's not funny at all, a social sim that simulates nothing, and a wasted opportunity to make a game about platonic friendship work.