Don’t Scare the Newbies!

kirizal & S

Kink can be scary, but talking about it doesn’t have to be! S and kirizal, a couple in a 24/7 Total Power Exchange relationship chat about kink, sex, relationships, communication, and everything in between

Winner of Best Media, Alternative Awards 2026

Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com

Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Subscribe Listen in podnod RSS feed Show website

50 episodes
Updated Wednesday
Explicit

Episodes50

Newest first

March 11 · 1 hr 18 min
Authentically Deviant: Secretary
Time for another kinky movie, and this time it’s Secretary. kirizal and S talk about relatability in awkwardness, agency in submission, and the joy in seeing kink on screen represented as genuinely perverse and unpolished. Plus - masochism and self harm, neurodivergence in kink, and W/we find out if kirizal can read out a movie quote without crying. Content Note: Spoilers for Secretary throughout, detailed discussion of self harm both in the movie and personal experience, discussion of consent issues including coercion and sexual harassment. The movie also includes a scene of domestic violence - which W/we don’t discuss in detail but do briefly reference. There was a slight buzzing interference issue on this recording - hopefully not too troublesome and nothing like the chaos with the old mics! The upcoming episodes W/we’ve done so far are all clear so shouldn’t hear it again anytime soon (hopefully ever!) Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
March 4 · 1 hr 33 min
Poking Fun: Sharps Play with Mark
On this episode, Mark joins kirizal and S to talk about sharps play - needles, blades and scalpels. W/we chat about finding the resources to learn these types of skills, vetting and negotiating for play, the appeal of blood and scars, and managing risk. Plus lots more! Content Note: Detailed discussion of sharps play including blood and scarring, brief mention of self harm. Conversations around degradation and humiliation kinks including brief mentions of vomit and scat, and more detailed discussion of play involving very dirty feet and socks. Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
February 25 · 1 hr 42 min
“It’s My World, you’re Just Living In It”: Dominance and Submission
This week W/we’re getting back to basics with a closer look at the classics - dominance and submission. What separates power play from other areas of kink? How can power be expressed, where does it come from and what different flavours can it have? kirizal and S talk about negotiation for power exchange, different approaches to rules and authority styles, the role of discipline, and lots more! With handy tips for people new to power exchange relationships and a look at how O/our dynamic is developing into something a little more edgy with time, on this episode W/we had plenty to talk about! Content Note: Some discussion of play involving simulated sexual assault Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
February 18 · 1 hr 26 min
Panopticon Perverts: Surveillance in Kink
Location tracking, surveillance cameras, and an open door policy - as often happens, kirizal’s dream life sounds like many people’s worst nightmare. On this episode, S and kirizal chat about the ways that W/we erode privacy and dignity in a fun, consensual way. Also - the age old debate about the construction of a proper cream tea, kirizal’s many open tabs, and pooping with the door open. Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
February 11 · 1 hr 42 min
Have Your Cake and Eat It: Polyamory with Tom and Kay (Insert Here Kink)
Tom and Kay - hosts of Insert Here - join kirizal and S to chat about polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and all the excitement and challenges that comes with navigating alternative relationship styles. Plus - exhibitionism, kinky podcaster life, and lots more! Listen to Insert Here anywhere you find podcasts, and check out their website here: insertherekink.com Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
February 4 · 1 hr 15 min
Not a Gardening Podcast: Let's Talk About Nettle Play
Who would wanna get stung by nettles on purpose? Probably surprising to no one that the answer is kirizal, with S more than happy to deliver. So as W/we look forward to nettle season just around the corner, kirizal and S break down the process and techniques involved in nettle play, just a touch of science, and lots of footling about. Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
January 28 · 1 hr 31 min
Get the Spray Bottle: Petplay and More with Hope and Ash
On this episode, Hope's back with her flatmate Ash joining her to talk about their exploration in kink - we chat petplay, primal, and embracing the animal within, kink on a budget, switching, gender identity, and kink outside of a defined relationship or power dynamic, plus lots more! There was a major audio issue with this recording, which Ash and Hope worked for weeks to repair for U/us (much appreciated) - the end result is a little less polished than most of O/our episodes, but the content was too good not to release. From next episode W/we're on the new, much improved microphones full time so this is the last time you'll have to suffer questionable audio - promise! Content Note: Contains discussion of consensual non-consent play including simulated sexual assault, some high risk kinks including choking, blood play, and punching, and some discussion of mental health difficulties. Follow Hope on her socials at: https://www.instagram.com/djanngles?igsh=bnJqNzYzMmh3ZDMz&utm_source=qr Twitch.tv/djanngles Follow Ash on their socials at: https://x.com/nyaroticx?s=21 Twitch.tv/nyarotic Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
January 21 · 1 hr 27 min
The Tradwife of Uncanny Valley: Gender Roles and Identity in Kink
In this episode W/we answer popular Tiktok search “is kirizal a boy or a girl”, S and kirizal compare gender “journeys”, and chat about how gender identity, roles, oppression, and expression influence kink. Plus - how inclusive is the kink community? Is kink better when it’s self aware and subversive? And is it a feminist act to be horny? Content Note: Discussion of misogyny and transphobia Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
January 14 · 1 hr 24 min
Head Empty, No Thoughts: Bimbofication and Appearance Control
Through S’s repeated disclaimers that appearance control is NOT about making kirizal hotter, W/we talk about the undeniable glow up that happened in 2025. Why is appearance control so fun? Is being a bimbo really about being any less smart? And how does hyper-femininity feel for a nonbinary person? Plus - kirizal slips into bimbo headspace mid-recording, and S continues to lose the battle to stop kirizal stealing Their clothes. Content Note: Some discussion of weight loss Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
January 7 · 1 hr 16 min
Signing the Psychological Pre-Nup: D/s Breakups with Hope
kirizal’s ex, Hope (previously known as Alexea), joins U/us this episode to talk about navigating breakups in power exchange relationships. How do people disentangle their lives when they have created such an interdependent structure? How do submissives decondition from rules that have become reflex? And how can kinky couples exit plan for a softer landing while still riding the optimism of the honeymoon period? Plus - staying friends with exes, kitchen chaos, and we address the “missing chapter” from kirizal’s content - That big breakup. Content Note: Discussion of abuse within D/s, and attempted suicide (brief, no details). Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies Vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45
Dec 31, 2025 · 1 hr 52 min
Neon Lights in the Dark: 2025 Recapped
In this episode, kirizal and S answer listener questions and recap 2025. Laughs, tears, healing and perversions, this episode has it all as W/we round up a busy, exciting, and very kinky year. Content Note: Although nothing particularly explicit, this episode does include mentions of play involving simulated sexual assault and domestic violence
Dec 24, 2025 · 1 hr 27 min
Between the Cheese and the Cilice: Spirituality, Kink, and Christmas
It wouldn’t be Christmas without some light trauma dumping, a discussion about the link between religious shame and CNC, and some historical genital mutilation. It’s O/our festive episode, so kirizal and S talk faith and spirituality, O/our childhood Christmas traditions and the new ones W/we are making together, kink as a spiritual experience, how worship and ritual fit into O/our dynamic, and the value of community. Content Note: Some discussion of drug use/addiction, mention of sexual assault, and castration. It’s festive, W/we promise!
Dec 17, 2025 · 1 hr 18 min
An Aptitude For Devotion, But Not For Representation: Pillion
W/we interrupt O/our schedule to discuss Pillion - negative messaging about 24/7 dynamics sour the taste of kirizal and S’s cinema date night, service, emotional masochism and letting kink be delightfully weird bring some authenticity to the mix, and some questionable marketing miss-sells U/us a “raunchy rom-com” that’s definitely not Do movies have a responsibility in how they represent communities? What was this movie trying to say about lifestyle BDSM, and did it deliver? Mixed feelings, and a small obligatory discussion of THAT prosthetic. Content Note: Spoilers for Pillion, of course, and discussion of unhealthy D/s relationships
Dec 10, 2025 · 1 hr 19 min
Smells Like Bacon: Burns and Branding
What do kirizal and S like about burns, branding and cigarette torture? Well, for one thing, it’s hot! W/we chat all about burning, from kirizal’s slightly reckless early experimentation, to S’s introduction to this sizzlingly spicy kind of play. Plus - solo masochism vs self harm, what is the difference between a kink and a fetish, anti-smoking PSAs gone wrong and what happens if W/we ever give up this filthy habit? Content Note: Discussion of drug use, addiction, and self harm
Dec 3, 2025 · 1 hr 13 min
No Ifs, Plenty of Butts: All About Anal
Is anal sex kinky? Whatever you think - it’s kinky enough for U/us! kirizal and S talk about O/our experiences - why the girls, gays, and theys do butt stuff better, S’s quest for Their own cum button, the appeal of painal, and the blessing (or curse) of having an absolutely enormous penis. Lots of giggles, some helpful tips, and the important debate of douching vs spontaneity. Content Note: Inevitably, some poop is involved
Nov 26, 2025 · 1 hr 30 min
Real Doms Play Sad Piano: Fifty Shades of Grey
kirizal botches the intro for a solid minute, S and kirizal are forced into time travel due to a rogue washing machine, and through the chaos W/we share O/our thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey - terrible kink representation, a crucial moment in mainstream acceptance, pure cringe, or all of the above? Content note: Some discussion of poor consent practices and fantasies about abuse and non-con Wanna hear kirizal (and possibly S) talk kink live? Newcastle event 5th December: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/dont-scare-the-newbies-a-conversation-tickets-1898160100959?aff=oddtdtcreator
Nov 19, 2025 · 1 hr 6 min
Making myself Useful: Domestic Service
How did kirizal go from a kitchen that was semi-permanently on fire, to home cooking from scratch every day? Why is S scared They’ll forget how a washing machine works? And do W/we get super horny about washing up? In this episode, W/we talk about the reality of domestic service in O/our dynamic - what needs it meets for U/us, how O/our roles support each other, and what a day in the life of a very busy service submissive looks like. Wanna hear kirizal (and possibly S) talk kink live? Newcastle event 5th December: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/dont-scare-the-newbies-a-conversation-tickets-1898160100959?aff=oddtdtcreator
Nov 12, 2025 · 1 hr 9 min
A Really Intense Trust Fall: Sadism and Masochism
What is sadism and masochism, how are they different from dominance and submission, and what does anyone get out of playing with pain? kirizal and S dive into the intersection of pain and pleasure and how these roles fit into O/our way of doing kink Content Note: Some discussion of burns, vomit, and body image/shaming Wanna hear kirizal (and possibly S) talk kink live? Newcastle event 5th December: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/dont-scare-the-newbies-a-conversation-tickets-1898160100959?aff=oddtdtcreator
Nov 5, 2025 · 1 hr 8 min
You’ve Gotta Be Choking: All About Breathplay
Breathplay is one of the most popular kinks, and also one of the most potentially deadly. kirizal and S talk about O/our approach to breathplay, changing risk profiles over time, and the alarming popularity of choking. Content Note: This episode discusses torture, drowning, and death, although none in graphic detail. It also includes (obviously) in depth discussion about high risk kinks, and is not intended as a “how to” guide. Wanna hear kirizal (and possibly S) talk kink live? Newcastle event 5th December: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/dont-scare-the-newbies-a-conversation-tickets-1898160100959?aff=oddtdtcreator
Oct 29, 2025 · 1 hr 24 min
Be the Banana: The Power of Nudity with Nat of The North East Life Art Project
Nat of The North East Life Art Project joins kirizal and S as O/our first guest. Talking life modelling, body image, objectification, power exchange, sexuality vs sensuality, and so much more! Will S take Their clothes off for money, what has kirizal been doing on the wines at the business meetings, and how is Nat like a banana? Plus an exciting announcement - Don’t Scare the Newbies! is taking yapping about kink into the real world with an upcoming event in Newcastle. Event info and tickets: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/dont-scare-the-newbies-a-conversation-tickets-1898160100959?aff=oddtdtcreator North East Life Art Project on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenortheastlifeartproject?igsh=Zmo0cGJuZGxqOWc4