Connected Parenting

Jennifer Kolari

Connected Parenting shares techniques that therapists use to help parents soothe their child as well as enhance the parent-child bond and is based on the understanding that correcting and guiding behavior works best when it is preceded by and linked to empathy. At the heart of this parenting model is the CALM Technique which helps parents accurately attune to children’s affect and experience. These empathic interactions release reward chemicals in the brain that stimulate positive emotions and increase order and balance in the nervous system. Reward chemicals, including natural opiates, endorphins, and a powerful hormone called oxytocin, reduce and inhibit stress hormones and bathe the brain in positive emotions that ripple through every cell in the body. The benefits of empathy and compassion have a strong base in science that cannot be underestimated. Simply put, it is brain food, the emotional nutrition all of us need, perhaps our children most of all.
Although many parenting techniques stress the importance of empathy, Connected Parenting will show you how to use it skillfully to repair frayed bonds, deescalate tantrums, contain and correct difficult behaviors and help your child to become more confident and emotionally resilient. We use a collaborative and supportive coaching model and provide inspirational, easy-to-understand techniques grounded in neuroscience and attachment. In the end, your child will be more compliant, more relaxed, and – most importantly – happier. Connected Parenting will bring out the best in you and your child.

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Yesterday · 15 min
[REPLAY] Taming Tantrums | CP267
Tantrums can be exhausting, embarrassing, and incredibly triggering for parents, but they’re not always the defiance or manipulation they may appear to be. In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer explores what is really happening in a child’s brain and body during a tantrum, the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, and why big emotions can simply become too much for a developing nervous system to contain. She also looks at some of the common factors that can make tantrums more likely, including hunger, lack of sleep, overstimulation, anxiety, and the need to discharge built-up energy. Jennifer shares practical strategies for recognizing the warning signs, helping children regulate before things escalate, and responding differently when a tantrum does happen. Most importantly, you’ll learn why staying calm, connected, and consistent can gradually reduce the frequency and length of tantrums while helping your child develop stronger emotional regulation skills over time. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding Tantrums and Their Functions (00:00) Factors Contributing to Tantrums (02:54) Parenting Techniques to Manage Tantrums (07:54) Practical Tips for Managing Tantrums in Public (11:20) Support and Resources for Parents (14:04) MEET JENNIFER KOLARI Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid(Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really) Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011). Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others would love to listen, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode, or want to be a guest on the show? Leave a comment in the section below or visit the website to contact me! Follow The Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon, or whatever your favorite podcast app is! Leave Us an Apple Podcasts Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Don't forget to visit our Connected Parenting Youtube Channel! Check it out! Like us and Subscribe!
August 21 · 25 min
[REPLAY] How to Not Over-Function | CP266
Over-functioning happens when we step in and do things our children are capable of doing themselves, often because it feels easier than dealing with frustration, resistance, or a potential meltdown. In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer explores why parents fall into this pattern and how fear, exhaustion, past experiences, and the desire to protect our kids can influence how much we do for them. Jennifer explains why giving children opportunities to struggle, follow through, and accomplish difficult things helps build independence, confidence, responsibility, and grit. She also shares practical ways to step back without removing support, helping parents find the balance between being there for their children and allowing them to discover just how capable they really are. Jennifer's Takeaways: Defining Overfunctioning (00:00) Why Parents Overfunction (04:34) Benefits of Avoiding Overfunctioning (12:56) Strategies to Stop Overfunctioning (20:43) MEET JENNIFER KOLARI Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid(Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really) Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011). Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others would love to listen, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode, or want to be a guest on the show? Leave a comment in the section below or visit the website to contact me! Follow The Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon, or whatever your favorite podcast app is! Leave Us an Apple Podcasts Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Don't forget to visit our Connected Parenting Youtube Channel! Check it out! Like us and Subscribe!
August 14 · 12 min
[REPLAY] Raise a Leader Not a Follower | CP265
Healthy friendships play a powerful role in a child’s confidence, emotional well-being, and even success at school. In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer explores how parents can help their children become leaders in their own lives rather than simply following the crowd. She looks at what healthy, balanced friendships can offer children and why strong social health can be such an important protective factor as they grow. Jennifer also shares guidance for parents whose children are struggling socially, following others into poor choices, or having difficulty developing healthy friendships. You’ll learn how to support your child without trying to manage their social life for them, while helping them build the confidence, judgment, and sense of self they need to make healthier choices. And if your child is already thriving socially, Jennifer explores how you can continue nurturing the skills that will help them maintain strong, balanced relationships as they grow. Jennifer's Takeaways: Helping Children Become Leaders, Not Followers (0:00) Modeling Empathy and Integrity (3:14) Teaching Children to Navigate Social Situations (7:58) The Role of Parents in Improving Social Skills (9:24) Incorporating Empathy into Family Values (11:39) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
August 7 · 12 min
[REPLAY] The Lasting Benefits of Summer Camp | CP264
Summer camp is often thought of as a place for outdoor adventures, campfires, and lifelong friendships but its impact goes far beyond creating happy memories. In this replay episode, Jennifer explores why summer camp can be one of the most powerful experiences for a child's emotional, social, and personal development. From learning independence and building confidence to navigating challenges without parents nearby, camp provides opportunities for growth that are difficult to recreate anywhere else. Whether your child is heading to camp for the first time or is already a seasoned camper, this episode highlights why these experiences often leave a lasting impact that extends well beyond the summer months. Jennifer's Takeaways: Importance and Benefits of Summer Camp (00:00) Experiences and Activities at Summer Camp (01:59) Independence and Personal Growth at Camp (04:34) Preparing Children for Camp (05:22) Handling Homesickness and Adjusting to Camp Life (07:59) Post-Camp Adjustment and Long-Term Benefits (10:23) Resources and Support for Parents (11:49) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
July 31 · 14 min
[REPLAY] Planning a Family Outing With a Gladiator Child | CP263
Today’s episode comes from our Q&A series, where I respond to real parenting questions from listeners. Andrea wrote in about the challenges she is experiencing with her 10-year-old daughter, whom she describes as a “gladiator,” strong-willed, determined, and often wanting things to go her way. While these qualities can become incredible strengths, they can also make family outings difficult when expectations change, transitions feel overwhelming, or disappointment leads to a meltdown. With an upcoming trip to a theme park, Andrea wanted to know how she could prepare her daughter while also making the day enjoyable for the rest of the family. In this episode, I share practical ways to set clear expectations before the outing, prepare for transitions, reduce potential power struggles, and create a flexible plan that supports everyone. Family trips do not have to become a battle. With thoughtful preparation and realistic expectations, you can help your gladiator child feel more secure while protecting the connection, fun, and enjoyment of the day for the entire family. Jennifer's Takeaways: Introduction to the Episode and Andrea's Question (00:00) Understanding Neuro Spicy Kids and Their Behavior (01:38) Managing Expectations and Pre-Planning (02:52) Divide and Conquer Strategy (05:23) Handling Overwhelm and Making Choices (07:59) Dealing with Tantrums and Leaving Early (11:43) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
July 24 · 15 min
[REPLAY] It's Summer Time! | CP262
As the busy school year winds down, summer opens the door to something we often miss, space to slow down, breathe, and truly reconnect with our kids. In this heartfelt replay, we say goodbye to the hectic pace and explore simple, intentional ways to make this summer feel calm, connected, and full of joy for the whole family. Remember; summer doesn’t need to be packed to be powerful, it just needs presence. Jennifer's Takeaways: Summer as a Time for Connection and Refreshment (00:00) The Calm Technique and Its Benefits (02:07) Practical Application of the Calm Technique (03:40) Structuring Summer Days for Children (07:27) Balancing Structure and Flexibility in Summer (09:38) Divide and Conquer Strategy for Family Outings (11:38) Maintaining Structure During Vacations (13:21) Bringing Back the Magic of Family Time (14:11) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
July 17 · 18 min
Preserving the Little Moments That Matter Most | CP261
In this special guest interview episode, Jennifer sits down with Barrie Farivar, founder of Leaf, a private voice app created to help families capture and preserve the everyday moments that often become our most treasured memories. After spending 15 years at Google and YouTube, Barrie set out to build something centered on connection rather than performance, creating a simple way for families to record conversations, bedtime stories, car rides, family history, and the voices of loved ones without interrupting the moment itself. ‍ This episode is a beautiful reminder that the memories we cherish most are often the ordinary, unscripted moments that happen every day, and that preserving them can become a meaningful gift for generations to come. Jennifer's Takeaways: Barrie Farivar's Background and Motivation (00:48) Transition from Google to Leaf (02:40) The Role of Audio in Capturing Family Moments (04:50) Children's Perspective on Audio Recordings (06:44) Handling Imperfect Moments in Recordings (07:56) Therapeutic Use of Recordings (08:50) Details About Leaf App (10:48) Integrating Leaf into Daily Routine (13:23) Conclusion and Contact Information (17:19) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
July 10 · 13 min
Helping Kids Build Conflict Tolerance | CP260
Disagreements are a natural part of life, but for many children and adults, conflict can feel threatening, overwhelming, or deeply personal. In this episode, Jennifer explores the powerful concept of conflict tolerance; the ability to stay calm, connected, and emotionally regulated when opinions differ. Rather than teaching children how to win arguments, she explains why one of the greatest life skills is learning that disagreement is not an emergency and doesn't have to damage a relationship. Jennifer shares how healthy conflict helps children build emotional resilience, stronger relationships, confidence, and leadership skills. She explains why becoming defensive, shutting down, or feeling rejected during disagreements often comes from the nervous system rather than the thinking brain, and how parents can help children develop the ability to listen, stay grounded, and remain connected even when they don't agree. This episode offers practical insights for raising children who can navigate conflict with curiosity, respect, and confidence, all skills that will benefit them in their friendships, families, school, and ongoing throughout their lives. Jennifer's Takeaways: Conflict Tolerance in Parenting (00:00) Understanding Conflict and Emotional Resilience (01:26) Common Reactions to Conflict (02:31) The Role of the Amygdala in Conflict (05:14) Teaching Conflict Tolerance Through Modeling (08:49) The Importance of Inner Reflection (11:07) Conclusion and Future Plans (12:15) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
July 3 · 26 min
Failure To Launch | CP259
Many parents find themselves asking the same painful questions: Why can't my child get started? Why won't they get out of bed, apply for the job, make the phone call, or begin the assignment? It can look like laziness, entitlement, or a lack of motivation, leaving parents feeling frustrated, worried, and unsure how to help. In this episode, Jennifer challenges the idea of "failure to launch" and explains why that label often misses what's really happening beneath the surface. Jennifer shares what she sees every day in her practice: intelligent, kind, and capable young people who aren't refusing to move forward, they're overwhelmed, anxious, and emotionally frozen. She explores how fear, shame, perfectionism, and relentless self-criticism can leave teens and young adults feeling completely stuck, even when they desperately want to succeed. What appears to be avoidance is often a nervous system caught in survival mode. This episode helps parents shift from seeing laziness or defiance to recognizing emotional overwhelm and anxiety because sometimes the first step isn't pushing harder, it's understanding what's keeping them stuck in the first place. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding Failure to Launch (00:00) Introduction to Jennifer Kolary and Connected Parenting (01:21) Brain Science and Emotional Movement (02:35) Parental Struggles and Overfunctioning (05:59) Building Confidence Through Small Actions (11:29) The Role of Comparisons and External Support (15:22) Connecting and Regulating Emotions (20:32) Normalizing Anxiety and Procrastination (20:47) Parental Strategies for Support (21:51) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
June 19 · 12 min
Staying Grounded For Our Kids | CP258
Many parents are carrying a quiet but persistent sense of uncertainty. The headlines, world events, and constant flow of information can leave families feeling like life is less predictable than it once was. In this episode, Jennifer continues the conversation about fear and uncertainty, exploring what it means to parent when this isn't just a temporary moment but an ongoing emotional climate. She explains how children often absorb the emotional atmosphere around them and why they look to the adults in their lives for a sense of safety and stability. Jennifer shares practical ways to support children through uncertain times without pretending everything is okay or overwhelming them with fear. This episode is a reminder that although we can't remove uncertainty from the world, we can create homes where our children feel safe, connected, and confident enough to navigate whatever comes next. Jennifer's Takeaways: Staying Grounded for Our Kids: Introduction and Context (00:00) Understanding the Emotional Loop in Families (02:06) Practical Strategies for Parents (03:42) Creating a Safe Space at Home (05:02) Implementing Rituals and Self-Care (07:35) Structuring the Day for Predictability (10:17) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
June 12 · 11 min
Why Doesn't Better Feel Better | CP257
Many parents notice something surprising after family life begins to improve. Their child is calmer, relationships are stronger, and the home feels more peaceful, yet they still feel anxious, unsettled, or like they’re waiting for something to go wrong. In this episode, Jennifer explores why this happens and explains how the nervous system can remain stuck in a state of high alert long after the stress that created it has passed. She offers reassurance for parents who feel confused by lingering anxiety, reminding them that there’s nothing wrong with them. Their nervous system is simply learning how to trust safety again, and with patience, awareness, and self-compassion, it can learn to settle into the calm they've worked so hard to create. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding Parental Emotional Dynamics (00:00) Nervous System Adaptation to Stress (01:14) The Elastic Band Response (03:25) Signs of Improvement in Child Behavior (04:42) Family System Rebalancing (05:59) Parental Self-Care and Patience (08:58) Normalizing the Healing Process (10:03) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
June 5 · 14 min
Why Siblings Fight & Why it Matters | CP256
Sibling conflict can be one of the hardest parts of parenting, especially when the fighting feels intense, personal, or mean. These moments can leave parents feeling overwhelmed, protective, and wondering if they’re doing something wrong. In this episode, Jennifer explores why sibling conflict feels so activating for parents and explains that what looks like bad behavior is often developing brains, big emotions, unmet needs, and dysregulated nervous systems colliding. Siblings naturally compete for attention, fairness, autonomy, and connection, and when stress levels rise, so can conflict. Listen in to hear Jennifer break down what children are actually learning through sibling conflict and why these difficult moments can become opportunities for building emotional regulation, communication, and resilience. She shares practical strategies for staying regulated yourself, avoiding referee mode, creating safety during big moments, and helping children repair afterward. Because sibling conflict isn’t usually a sign something is wrong in your family, it’s often where some of the most important learning happens. Jennifer's Takeaways: Why Sibling Conflict Feels So Hard (0:00) What Sibling Conflict Is Really Teaching Kids (02:30) The Brain Science Behind Sibling Fights (05:00) Understanding Sibling Roles and Family Dynamics (07:00) How Parents Can Respond During Big Moments (10:00) Teaching Repair, Connection, and Lifelong Skills (12:30) Final Thoughts: Conflict Is Practice, Not Failure (14:00) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
May 29 · 13 min
Straight "A's" & Stressed Out | CP255
Some children seem like they have it all together. They’re organized, responsible, self-motivated, and successful, often earning good grades and appearing easier to parent. But underneath that success can be intense anxiety, perfectionism, and an exhausting inner voice that never quiets down. In this episode, Jennifer explores the often-overlooked group of high-achieving children who appear confident and capable on the outside but may be carrying enormous emotional pressure internally. These children often have a combination of strong thinking skills and highly sensitive emotional systems, which can create a constant cycle of overthinking, fear of failure, self-criticism, and tying their worth to achievement. Jennifer explores how temperament, sensitivity, and personality contribute to these patterns, why parents may miss the signs when struggles are internalized, and how our own experiences with achievement and self-worth can shape how we respond. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding High-Achieving, Anxious Children (00:00) Brain Dynamics and Emotional Pressure (02:43) Temperament and Sensitivity (04:36) Parental Reactions and Personal Patterns (06:40) Supporting High-Achieving Children (08:37) Modeling and Teaching Self-Compassion (11:21) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
May 22 · 23 min
[REPLAY] Parenting Kids with Panic Attacks | CP254
These intense moments of a panic attack can come on suddenly and feel terrifying, whether you’re experiencing one or witnessing your child go through it. In this week's replay I’ll help you understand the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack, what’s happening in the brain during these episodes, and most importantly, how to respond in a calm, supportive, and effective way. You’ll learn practical strategies to help your child feel safe, grounded, and empowered when panic takes over, and how to support their overall emotional well-being going forward. Whether you're navigating this now or preparing for the future, this episode is full of essential tools and compassionate insight to help your family through. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding Panic Attacks (00:00) Differences Between Panic and Anxiety Attacks (02:11) The Impact of Panic Attacks on Parents and Children (03:22) Strategies for Managing Panic Attacks (07:33) Practical Techniques for Calming Down (13:39) Long-Term Management and Therapy (21:59) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
May 15 · 13 min
Spring Fever | CP253
While summer may seem exciting from an adult perspective, for children it represents a major emotional transition. They are saying goodbye to routines, teachers, classmates, and familiar structure while stepping into the uncertainty of what comes next. Even positive changes can feel overwhelming, especially for highly sensitive children, kids with ADHD, gifted children, or kids who struggle with transitions. And because children often communicate stress through behavior rather than words, these feelings can show up as silliness, irritability, emotional outbursts, or lower frustration tolerance. In this episode, Jennifer explains why children experience this time of year so intensely and how parents can support them through the transition into summer with more understanding and connection. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding the Emotional Shift in Kids Before Summer (00:00) Children's Perception of Time and Seasonal Changes (02:28) Impact of Teachers' Exhaustion and Seasonal Changes (05:02) Summer's Effect on Children's Routine and Structure (06:30) Practical Tips for Supporting Children During Summer (07:36) Balancing Activities and Social Events (10:28) Encouraging Connection and Understanding (11:00) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
May 8 · 12 min
From Chaos To Calm In 10 Seconds | CP252
What we often label as “bad behavior” is usually a nervous system in distress. When children become overwhelmed, the thinking and reasoning part of the brain goes offline, making it impossible for them to calmly process correction or logic. And without realizing it, parents’ nervous systems often become dysregulated too, creating a situation where two overwhelmed brains are trying to solve a problem without access to the part of the brain designed for problem-solving. This episode introduces a simple but powerful shift: connect before you correct. Jennifer shares practical ways to slow the moment down within just a few seconds by regulating yourself first, lowering your voice, using grounding touch, and helping your child feel seen and understood before trying to set limits. Through real-life examples, including public meltdowns and sibling conflict, she explains how connection calms the emotional center of the brain and brings cooperation back online far more effectively than fear or punishment. Jennifer's Takeaways: From Chaos to Calm in 10 Seconds: Introduction and Context (00:01) Understanding the Moment of Escalation (00:35) The Role of the Nervous System and Frontal Lobe (01:36) Connect Before You Correct: The 10-Second Shift (03:10) Guiding and Setting Limits (05:21) The Paradoxical Method and Handling Multiple Children (07:41) Self-Connection and Self-Care (09:17) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
May 1 · 14 min
Disrespect Or Distress | CP251
“Why is my child so disrespectful?” It’s a question many parents ask out of frustration and confusion. In this episode, we take a closer look at what’s really behind that word, because often what looks like disrespect is actually distress. When a child talks back, shuts down, or lashes out, they may not be trying to challenge authority, they may be overwhelmed and struggling to manage emotions they don’t yet have the skills for. When we see it as intentional, we tend to respond with correction or control, which can escalate things. But when we pause and recognize the distress underneath, we shift from reacting to understanding, and from correcting to connecting. This doesn’t mean removing boundaries, it means approaching behavior with awareness so children feel supported, regulate more easily, and learn more effectively. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding Disrespect vs. Distress in Children (00:00) The Role of Emotional Regulation and Perspective Taking (02:09) Parental Reactions to Children's Behaviors (02:58) Strategies for Managing Children's Behaviors (06:10) Building Connection and Cooperation (07:56) The Impact of Parental Behavior on Siblings (11:43) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
April 24 · 17 min
Soft Technology the Skill AI Can't Replace | CP250
There’s a quiet shift happening right now that many parents can feel, even if they haven’t fully put words to it yet. The world our children are growing up in is changing, and it looks very different from the one we were prepared for. While traditional skills like reading, writing, math, and creativity still matter, technology is advancing so quickly that many of these skills are now being done faster and more efficiently by AI. As a result, many parents are feeling behind, trying to catch up, and wondering what this all means for their kids. This episode isn’t about fear, it’s about awareness. Because as the world changes, so does our role as parents. It’s no longer just about what our children know, but how they think, adapt, and connect. The goal isn’t to keep up with technology, but to raise grounded, thoughtful humans who can navigate it with confidence. Jennifer's Takeaways: The Shift in Parenting Focus Amid Technological Advancements (00:00) The Importance of Soft Technologies in Child Development (03:34) The Role of AI and Human Emotional Skills (05:51) Practical Steps for Supporting Emotional Development (09:15) The Role of Schools and Professional Support (14:47) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
April 17 · 10 min
How to Help Him Feel Respected | CP249
In our last episode, we explored how women and girls are often wired for safety and connection. In this episode, we turn the lens to the men in our lives, husbands, sons, brothers, and partners, and look at what’s really happening when they shut down, become defensive, or seem distant during important conversations. These moments can feel confusing and hurtful, especially when you’re trying to connect. But underneath those reactions is often a nervous system shifting into protection mode. What looks like disconnection is often self-protection, and what feels like defensiveness is a response to perceived threat, not a lack of care. When we begin to understand this, everything starts to shift. We take things less personally, approach conversations differently, and create space for real connection. Because when both people feel safe and understood, it becomes much easier to stay open, communicate, and move forward together. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding Men's Nervous Systems (00:00) Common Miscommunication Patterns (02:06) Strategies for Better Communication (06:35) Noticing and Naming Positive Behaviors (06:51) Impact on Daughters and Teenagers (07:23) Reframing and Connecting Nervous Systems (08:28) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
April 10 · 14 min
How To Make Her Feel Safe | CP248
This episode is a gentle invitation for dads, partners, and anyone raising or loving a woman or girl to see things through a different lens. What can sometimes look like overreacting is often something much deeper, a nervous system that is highly attuned to safety. This isn’t about weakness or sensitivity, but about how the brain and body are wired through biology, hormones, and lived experience. From a young age, many women and girls are constantly scanning for cues of connection and safety, and when that feels uncertain, their reactions can seem intense or personal, but they’re not meant to be. They’re signals. When we begin to understand this, everything shifts. Instead of reacting with frustration, we can respond in ways that create safety and connection. And in that space, walls come down, conversations open up, and relationships soften. This episode offers a more compassionate way to understand the women and girls in your life, because when she feels safe and understood, she can come closer, and both people feel more seen, heard, and connected. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding Women's Nervous Systems (00:00) The Built-In Alarm System (01:35) Common Miscommunication Scenarios (03:32) The Power of Tone and Connection (06:46) Repairing and Building Safety (08:25) Understanding Different Nervous Systems (10:49) Joking and Teasing (12:11) Connecting Before Correcting (13:10) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

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