EducationSelf-Improvement

Are You Relentlessly Resilient?

Kathryn Severns Avery

Life knocks us down. Resilience is what gets us back up. When you are relentlessly resilient, it doesn't matter what life throws at you, you know you will be triumphant.

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September 16 · 5 min
Overcoming the Ouch!
Life is going to give us ouches. Pain is part of life, but suffering is chosen. Pain often makes others uncomfortable. They feel for us and want to take away the pain. Or it makes them uncomfortable so they do anything and everything to shift the conversation, or the focus on your pain to something else, because they can't stand in their discomfort. Don't misunderstand me. We are all doing the best we can in this world and your intentions to try and take away someone's pain are coming from your goodness. But in my case, what I wanted and needed was for someone to acknowledge the pain I experienced sucked and be willing to sit in the suck with me and let me feel all of the emotions that came forward. Only then, could I access the tools I have to process pain. When we deny someone access to their pain, we are sending the message hurting is not okay. We will all experience pain, but suffering is repeating the pain loop over and over again. The purpose of pain is to draw our attention to something - whether it's a blister or a broken heart. Acknowledge it. Feel it. Move through it. When you experience an ouch, I hope you have people to sit n the suck with you. I am blessed to have people in my life who will. Kathryn
September 9 · 5 min
Things That Make Me Laugh Out Loud
I saw a Facebook Reel today that made me laugh out loud so hard I was thankful I wasn't drinking coffee. It would have come out of my nose. It is riddled with foul language, and talks about the frustration of dreams taking too long to manifest. We've all been there, frustrated with life, recounting all the things we've done to make something happen and it doesn't. I don't do it often, but sometimes a well placed f-bomb is the perfect punctuation to release our pent up emotions. But the lyrics and the tune are both catchy. The laughs they caused, were worth the assault on my delicate ears. I felt tension leave my body and I'm still smiling and humming the tune. I hope something or someone today makes you laugh so hard if you were drinking coffee it would come out your nose. Kathryn
September 4 · 5 min
Practice, Do It, Let Go
There is a rhythm to accomplishment. You practice, do it, and let go of the outcome. Preparation is key to whatever it is that you want to do. We all know the heart palpitations and embarrassment of being unprepared. Then you do it - give a presentation, make a cold call, or lead a meeting or endeavor. Most of us, however, don't let go of the outcome. If what we do doesn't turn out the way we want, we call it a failure. It's not. It's feedback on what still needs refining. This week is the countdown to my TEDx talk on first responders in St. George, Utah. I have prepared more for this than I have for anything in my life. I will stand before the video camera and give my talk. And then I'm going to let it go. I don't know what will happen next, but whatever it is I prepared, I showed up, I did it and I'll let it go. Once the talk is released I'll be sure to include the link so you can watch it. Thanks for listening to the podcast. May we all continue to be relentlessly resilient. Kathryn
August 26 · 5 min
What's Next?
I've been on hiatus for a couple of weeks. Lots of enormous life changes, doors closing, friendships changing or ending, and LOTS of uncertainty. I'm figuring out what's next, and for months the path forward has been fuzzy. Now, things are slotting into place. Like a jigsaw puzzle the picture of what's next is emerging as piece by piece things fall into place. Sitting in the discomfort of uncertainty is NEVER pleasant. But it's part of life unfolding as it should. It feels really good to be back at this. I hope you enjoy today's episode. Kathryn
August 7 · 5 min
The Low Blows of Life
Sometimes life delivers a low blow we are not expecting. And when it does, we have a choice - become a victim or victor. Choosing your reaction is crucial. I will NOT be a victim and claiming my power and agency and not giving into self pity and helplessness gives me a sense of empowerment and certainty. I will not allow this experience to make me bitter, only better. What choices are you making when life delivers you a low blow? Exciting News! I'm giving a TEDx talk in St. George, Utah on September 11th on the work I do with first responders and YOU'RE INVITED to attend the taping. Send me a message for more details. Kathryn
August 1 · 4 min
Give Yourself a Break
High standards are a sign of excellent self-esteem. But sometimes our standards are so high they are unattainable or unsustainable. Insisting on perfection or using perfectionism as a way to control life, our actions, or the actions of others, is counterproductive. Sometimes we need to give ourselves and others a break both literally and figuratively. Taking a break, pausing for a moment and connecting with our emotions and recognizing what we are doing, thinking, and feeling provides and opportunity to redirect our effort in more productive ways. Taking a break can allow us to focus on what's right with a situation rather than what's wrong. Or appreciate what we have rather than what we don't. Life is full of opportunities to expand our awareness and to grow. By embracing your humanness you can transcend it. So, give yourself and others a break today.
July 29 · 4 min
Extra Effort
Today I had an extraordinary experience. I got to see Big Boy, the world's largest steam locomotive as it traveled from Denver to Greeley - part of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the USA. When I heard the train was going to pass through Denver, I knew I wanted to see it. I invited a friend to join me. We traveled north to Commerce City and joined a throng of people gathered trackside near a railroad crossing. We waited for almost two hours to see the train. I had goosebumps and my inner child was giddy to watch this behemoth of a steam locomotive pass by, the American and Colorado flags on the train's cowcatcher fluttering in the breeze. Was it worth the extra effort to make it happen. ABSOLUTELY! What in your life needs a little extra effort or is calling you to step up your game? Whatever it is, it's worth it.
July 25 · 5 min
Get 'Er Done!
Yesterday (Friday) was a particularly busy day for me. When I woke up this morning, I realized I hadn't created a podcast and I'm committed to getting them out on Wednesdays and Fridays. Rather than beat myself up about not following through, I chose to get 'er done. Far too often we let our need for perfection thwart our progress. AND, getting something done "messy" doesn't preclude us from going back and making it better. Our egos, in a misguided attempt to protect us, tell us we "should" do it perfectly. Total BS - belief systems. It's taken me a lifetime to learn people find me more relatable when I'm vulnerable and imperfect. I don't like showing those sides of myself, but I learn so much when I do. So today, whatever it is you need to do - get 'er done! Thanks for listening! Kathryn
July 22 · 5 min
Best Birthday Gift Ever!
Yes, today is my birthday. My best birthday gift today? The gift of being consistently consistent. It's obviously a gift I'm giving to myself, like the gift of keeping my promises to myself and fearlessly embracing the challenge of change. I can't imagine spending my life committed to maintaining the status quo. Yet there were decades of my life that I spent trying to keep things the same. It's impossible. Life is always moving forward whether we like it or not. I KNOW each and every experience prepares me for what is next. With a mindset like that I KNOW I can handle change - even when I might think I can't. Every emotional scar that has healed has its own type of beauty. The wound may have been painful, and it may have taken longer than I would have liked, but I did heal and thankfully I will continue to heal. Thanks for listening! Kathryn
July 17 · 5 min
You Have Permission
Are you waiting for permission to do something? What would happen if you gave yourself that permission? This week I stepped waaaaayyyyyyyy out of my comfort zone and did two powerful things. I gave myself permission to ask for help and I gave myself permission to share with a respected friend a proposed change was not something with which I was comfortable and to ask for clarification. Did I have anxiety? Yes. I did I do it any way? Yes. Changes we make in our lives may or may not be supported by those around us. Yet, when we are brave and give ourselves permission to feel the fear and do it anyway, great things can happen. If you had a permission from the Universe to do anything you wanted, what would you do? The good news is you do have permission. Now you need to work on your courage. Have a great weekend! Kathryn
July 15 · 5 min
Who's Filling Your Cup?
Sometimes we don't recognize our cup is empty. I was fortunate recently to take a trip to Montana to visit friends. Only then, when surrounded by people who love me and support me through thick and thin, did I realize how empty I was. A recent full parole board hearing for one of my husband's killers took place on Friday of last week. There was not an immediate decision and all weekend, I couldn't help but wonder if this man was going to be released. To take my mind off things, we went to a small town rodeo. The people watching was fantastic and so was the barbeque. Time to sit, thinks, feel, and be was just what I needed. I came back refreshed and ready to move forward with life again. Who's filling your cup? If you're interested in attended my free Intuitive Visioning Workshop on Thursday, July 23rd Noon mountain time, here's the link. https://us02web.zoom.us/j/88492416834?jst=2Hope to see you there!
July 8 · 5 min
Next Steps
You're making changes and things are going well, until they're not. Understanding the process of change means embracing setbacks and reframing them as setups for success. If you're like me, you think you have to have everything thought through and planned for every possible contingency before you start. You can't possibly do that because there will be curveballs you can't possibly anticipate. What if you trusted yourself and God, Jesus, your Higher Power or internal guidance, to show you the next right step? Mary Morrisey's book Brave Thinking poses a powerful question that will help you move forward no matter what your circumstances: What can I do now with what I have? The smallest of steps continues your forward movement and shows your commitment to your change/goal. Nothing in your journey is wasted as long as you keep moving towards your dreams. And what if your dreams seems impossible? Great! I've heard it said, "If you don't need God to help you fulfill your dream, it's way too small." So, what you can you do now with what you have? Get started.
July 1 · 5 min
Embrace the Suck
I recently read a blog post by my friend Gregory Russel Benedict about not being willing to suck at something new. The article really resonated with me because we almost always suck when we do something for the first time. The key is to be willing to be bad before you can be good. When I taught piano, I hated teaching adults. They expected to be able to play well instantly. Becoming accomplished at something requires time and effort, and the willingness to suck at it at first. Growth requires trying new things and silencing our inner critic long enough to begin to get better. Commitment and repetition are the keys to improvement. So, embrace the suck this week and know you're on your way to getting better. If you enjoyed this podcast, please like and share it. If you're interested in learning more about my Intuitive Visioning Workshops, drop me an email at kathrynsevernsavery@gmail.com. Till next time, remember we all suck at something until we don't . Kathryn
June 26 · 5 min
Embracing the Challenge of Change
I'm doing a deep dive on change and the challenges it presents. I'm writing a book about it! "Launch Your New Life - Embracing the Challenge of Change will be finished by August and available in September. We resist change, even though it's inevitable. There is a biological reason for this. Our nervous system perceived change as a threat, and, perhaps, a life threatening threat. And our bodies are right. Change means the life we are living, the person we are, will be different. We stay stuck because we would rather deal with what we know than what we don't know. We crave certainty. And life is, and always will be, uncertain. Over the next weeks and months, we'll continue to explore change and why resilience is such an important part of the process. Happy Friday! And thanks for listening. Kathryn
June 25 · 6 min
Preparation is Everything
Ready for a change? To increase your odds of success, prepare. Making a change obviously requires us to change. But most people secretly want to stay the same, but have the outcome that change brings. Lose 20 pounds but still eat anything you want. Save more money but keep your current spending habits. The key is to take small consistent steps towards implementing that change. I have a friend who needed to lose more than 100 pounds. She increased her odds of succeeding by focusing on losing 5 pounds, and then 5 more pounds. Realizing we won't see immediate results is often a deterrent to making change. But if you implement a change and acknowledge you won't see the major effects of the change for three to six months, perhaps you won't quit as easily. Change is an inevitable part of life. Wishing and wanting things to stay the same isn't possible. So take charge of your changes! Have comments about this podcast or a topic you'd like to hear my thoughts on? Let me know. Thanks for listening. Till next time, take care and be safe. Kathryn
June 19 · 5 min
Discomfort Means You're Growing!
Listeners know I am a student of change and resilience. When our efforts begin to pay off, are we ready for the change that success brings? I am starting to see things I've been working on for years start to come to fruition. It's exciting. It's terrifying at the same time. Why? Because in order to receive that success, I have to leave the part of me that believes I'm not worthy, or it will never happen behind. It also means that I am exposing new, and often vulnerable, parts of myself to others. Just as a toddler learning to walk falls down, I will stumble as I move forward into unknown territory. The worst thing I can do is say "This is uncomfortable. It's a sign I should stop." Discomfort means you're growing. Keep going!!!!! If you're ready to make a change in your life, your business, your organization/agency, join me at the next "Go Together/Grow Together" retreat in Golden, Colorado September 10, 11, and 12. Space is limited to just 7 lucky attendees. Don't miss this extraordinary opportunity to grow with support. Drop me an email to get more details. Have a great weekend! Kathryn
June 17 · 5 min
Life's Fractures
Fractures in our lives are not failures. They are the cracks through which wisdom can appear. I live at the top of a mountain and can see where a tiny pine tree seed found a spot of dirt in a crack in a rock and decided to grow. Were the conditions ideal? Of course not. Did that stop the seed from growing? No, over time the growing tree forced the crevice to open. I'm writing a new book "Launch Your New Life: Embracing the Challenge of Change". There are so many changes happening in my life, and in the lives of others I care about, I decided to create a guide to successfully navigating the choices we choose and the choices that life thrusts upon us. If you enjoy this episode, please share. And if you need ideas or information on managing change, reach out. I'd love to hear from you. Kathryn
June 6 · 5 min
Reclaiming My Magic
Every great story of overcoming features a Dark Night of the Soul, a descent into the Underworld, a reckoning with our shadow side and a re-emergence. When we are in the darkness, we can't see what's happening. We feel lost, vulnerable, and defeated believing this is our lot in life and it will not change. I spent several months in that dark place. Externally, you never would have realized it. I put on a brave face. But in today's episode I get real about emerging from that place and reclaiming my magic. If I can do it, you can too. Enjoy.
May 22 · 4 min
Dealing with Disappointment
This week was a tough week for me. I had a big disappointment which you'll hear about in the podcast. It was an opportunity to feel the disappointment and the anger, acknowledge it, and move on. Wallowing in disappointment wastes time and energy. Feel it, experience it, but don't get stuck in it. If you've done all you can do, if the situation is out of your control, surrender the disappointment, release it, and see what good thing comes in to replace what was lost or didn't happen. Have a wonderful weekend! Kathryn
May 13 · 5 min
Your Ringside Seat to The Fight of the Century!!!!
If you're like me, there are times in life when I fight harder for my limitations than I do for my strengths. The transition I'm experiencing in my life right now, is HARD. And my internal dialog blindside me and deliver a TKO I didn't even see coming. That's why paying attention to what we're telling ourselves and what we're thinking is soooo important when life is throwing us curveballs. It's easy to double down on negative chatter. Refuting stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we are capable of takes discipline and commitment - the same kind any professional fighter has. They schedule their training and if they want to be champions, the stick to the schedule and push to become better versions of themselves. So, are you going to fight for your strengths of your limitations today? If you're ready to fight to become a better version of you, I'll be cheering you on ringside.

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