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Totally Unexpected!

Chavie Bruk

Join Chavie as she discovers the one totally unexpected moment in her guests’ lives that changed everything. These are real stories about pain, joy, and struggle, the moments that make us human. Chavie is obsessed with personal growth and doesn't shy away from the hard conversations. She covers topics like Jewish astrology, parenting taboos, health and wellness, adoption, race, and sexuality inside the Orthodox Jewish community and beyond.

Chavie Bruk is a mother of five adopted children and the co-director of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana together with her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk. On Totally Unexpected! Chavie doesn't just interview her guests, she sits with them for long, unfiltered conversations where they laugh, cry, and share the stories that shaped who they have become. Chavie also writes a weekly essay on Substack about the unexpected moments in her life, the one's happening in real time that are challenging her, stretching her, and helping her grow. Sign up for free here: www.TotallyUnexpected.blog.

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#53
September 7 · 2 hr 28 min
Shevach Tamir's Story: Parenting Through Trauma
Shevach tells Chavie about growing up in Miami Beach as the youngest of seven, sometimes feeling like an only child, but later recognizing the freedom and attention he received as the youngest. He and Chavie compare that with her experience as the oldest of nine, and Chavie describes the many ways her son feels different: the only boy among four sisters, Black, adopted, and the only Jewish child in his class. Shevach talks about validating the pain of feeling alone before trying to help a child see what makes them unique. He then tells Chavie about a broken engagement which showed him how little he trusted his own voice and led him to start separating personality from dysfunction. They move into the overlooked “easy” child and Shevach’s belief that trauma leaves a mark even when someone appears resilient. Shevach shares how his young nephew drowned in the family pool when Shevach was seven, and how that grief resurfaced years later when he panicked over an unlocked balcony door near his own son. Shevach traces his path from hiding a guitar inside his yeshiva mattress and starting a Chassidic rock band to studying psychology, developing sports social work, and creating the WISE Parenting Method. Chavie asks what his approach looks like for parents. They close on the uncomfortable reality that parents and children are not always naturally compatible, but does not mean you do not love them. Shevach Tamir LCSW, Parenting and Trauma Therapist, is a seasoned clinician with over a decade of experience supporting individuals, parents, and families within the Jewish community. He specializes in parenting therapy, family therapy, and trauma-informed care. Shevach is deeply committed to empowering parents, helping them feel confident, understood, and supported in their role, because parents matter too. His approach is warm, respectful, and grounded in a culturally sensitive, Torah-aligned perspective, creating a space where parents feel safe, seen, and supported as they navigate growth and healing. This Week's Prompt Tell Me One Thing You Feel Astrology Gets Right About Your Personality Listen to voice notes from listeners at the end of every episode with their personal stories and reflections on a given prompt. Referenced On the Pod 2:29 Aura Rosenblatt' podcast Divine Detour 15:09 The Billion Dollar Secret, Rafael Badziag Stay in touch with Shevach @wiseparenting_official on Instagram www.onthebeachcounseling.com/parenting-therapy/ Book a Free 15 Minute Initial Consultation https://calendly.com/onthebeachcounseling/initial-consult Join Wise Parenting Hub - WhatsApp Group Send an email with your name and number to Hello@WiseParentingMethod.com Light of Shneur Initiative - Almost Free Parenting Therapy Hello@BetterParentingTherapy.com Stay in touch with Chavie @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#52
August 24 · 2 hr 20 min
Naomi Salfati's Story: Reclaiming Nature's Manual with Torah & Astrology
Naomi starts off by telling Chavie how she became an artist, why she was drawn to Hebrew letters, and how studying Jewish mysticism eventually led her into astrology. She explains why she considers herself a student of astrology rather than an astrologer. Chavie asks Naomi to break down the basics, including sun, moon, and rising signs, and because the interview happens to fall on Chavie’s birthday, Naomi uses her chart to do a full live reading. Along the way, Naomi shares her view that astrology was taken from us as part of our disconnection from God and nature, while Chavie explains why she sees a birth chart as a handbook from Hashem that can help people understand their strengths, struggles, and what they are here to do. Chavie asks how astrology fits with the Jewish belief in free will, and Naomi explains the difference between having a mazal and having a fixed destiny. They end with Chavie asking Naomi for her favorite and worst thing about each of the twelve signs. Naomi Salfati is a Hebrew letter artist and the founder of AstroTorah, where she bridges Kabbalah, astrology, and psychology to help people better understand themselves and their life's purpose. This Week's Prompt Tell me about something you’re scared to do and what’s holding you back? Listen to voice notes from listeners at the end of every episode with their personal stories on a given prompt. Referenced On the Pod 11:42:00 Mendel Zirkind’s interview with Chavie 1:18:35 find your chart on Astro.com Stay in touch with Naomi! instagram.com/astrotorahwww.astrotorah.com Book a reading with Naomi here: https://astro-torah.as.me/schedule/56d76640 Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#51
August 10 · 2 hr 17 min
Dena Schusterman's Story: Facing the Stories I Carry
Dena Schusterman tells Chavie about growing up on shlichus, first in Berkeley and then Albuquerque, where her childhood was filled with skiing, wide-open landscapes, and saying the Twelve Pesukim into the New Mexico canyons. When her older sister struggled after being sent away for school, Dena’s parents made the difficult decision to leave shlichus and move their family to Los Angeles, where nine-year-old Dena felt like “Moshiach came” when she discovered kosher restaurants, friends, and an actual frum community. Years later, Dena would find herself wrestling with the same question of when to leave and when to stay: she and her husband planned to move to Russia, tried unsuccessfully to find shlichus in California, and eventually landed in Atlanta, where they chose to remain even when leaving became a real possibility. She and Chavie talk about the courage required to make a choice and own it, and Dena pushes back on the polished image of Shluchos as superwomen who are always saving everyone else, asking, “Who’s saving us?” and arguing that Chabad’s success should not come at the expense of acknowledging the real struggles, doubts, and humanity of the people doing the work. That same refusal to sanitize the story became central to Dena’s new memoir, Stories Carry. She originally wanted to preserve her father’s stories after hearing one of them told publicly without his name because he was no longer a Shliach, but quickly discovered that she couldn’t tell his story without telling her own. Dena shares how the eight-year writing process forced her to stop sermonizing, trust the reader, and become more emotionally vulnerable, including reckoning with the emotional repression she inherited from her Holocaust-survivor grandparents. She and Chavie also talk about Dena’s decision not to write a hagiography, the difference between loving something and pretending it is perfect, and why telling the truth about the people and world that shaped her ultimately became an expression of love rather than a departure from it. Dena Schusterman founded Chabad Intown in Atlanta, where she has built a thriving community as an educator, preschool director, and teacher. She writes about parenting and applied Torah thought for publications including Kveller, Chabad.org, Groknation, Ami Magazine and the Atlanta Jewish Times. A mother of eight and native Californian, she and her husband Rabbi Eliyahu Schusterman have called Atlanta home for twenty years. Stories Carry is her debut memoir. This Week's Prompt Tell me about a religious practice that you realized was driven by fear or anxiety? Listen to voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and reactions on a given prompt at the end of every episode. Referenced On the Pod 1:07:32 Rabbi YY Jacobson’s Weekly Women’s Class 1:10:40 Dena’s ELI Talk 1:14:09 Chabad.org article about Dena’s father 1:38:26 The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese 2:00:32 Paulo Coelho Stay in touch with Dena! https://www.denaschusterman.com/ Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#50
July 27 · 2 hr 11 min
Julia Makowsky's Story: When Religion Becomes Anxiety + EP 50 BONUS
Julia Makowsky grew up in Los Angeles with baal teshuvah parents who became increasingly passionate about Torah as she was growing up, while Julia often felt that she was simply along for the ride. Although she had an innate spiritual connection from a young age, she struggled to make Judaism feel like her own. By the time she had her third child, she had taken on more and more religious practices out of fear, believing that if she did not daven enough or observe everything perfectly, Hashem might punish her or take away her children. When her rabbi finally told her, “That is not Torah. That is anxiety,” Julia began breaking down the way she had been practicing and rebuilding a relationship with God that felt personal, chosen, and peaceful. She and Chavie talk about what it means to find your own religious baseline, why other people’s standards can pull us away from our own values, and how Chavie’s baseline in raising five adopted children is always attachment and safety. Julia shares that she knew she wanted to become a therapist from the time she was eight years old because of how deeply she felt other people’s emotions. She opens up about growing up as an empath, the emotional scar tissue she developed after being hurt and abused, and what she later had to learn as a therapist about separating her clients’ feelings from her own and not helping them through the lens of her personal wounds. She then explains why she added coaching to her work, describing therapy as a space where the practitioner asks the questions that help a client arrive at their own answers, while coaching allows her to be more direct, identify concrete steps, and help someone move toward a specific outcome. Julia and Chavie talk about why both approaches matter, why coaching cannot replace the processing that sometimes needs to happen first, and why the right practitioner may look different for each person. They close by asking when healing becomes another form of avoidance, why constant self-reflection and optimization can leave us perpetually dissatisfied, and whether feeling calm, not endlessly striving, is a better sign that something in our lives is actually working. Julia K. Makowsky is a licensed therapist, coach, speaker, content creator, and host of Tribe & Tribulations. Known for her honest, relatable, and compassionate approach, Julia blends professional expertise with real-life experience to explore mental health, relationships, identity, parenting, faith, and personal growth. Through her therapy practice, speaking engagements, social platforms, and podcast, she creates meaningful conversations that bridge communities, reduce stigma, and help people feel seen, understood, and empowered. This Week's Prompt CELEBRATING EPISODE 50! Which guests do you want to hear from in the voice note section? These are the guests listeners said they want to hear from and have submitted voice notes: Chaim Bruk, Sara Miriam Smith, Sarah Immerman, Moshe Weinbaum, Shaina Wiess, Aura Rosenblatt, Brochie Spritzer Referenced On the Pod 7:10 Tom Segura podcast 7:10 Tiger Belly podcast 8:05 Yitzhak Pinkesz, Author of Kosher Astrology on Julia’s podcast 8:55 Gedale Fenster 8:59 Charlie Harary 45:47 Chavie’s Tanya Class, Clearing the Mud Sara Miriam Smith's episode on Totally Unexpected! Moshe Weinbaum's episode on Totally Unexpected! Sarah Immerman's episode on Totally Unexpected! Shaina Wiess's episode on Totally Unexpected! Chaim Bruk's episode on Totally Unexpected! Brochie Spritzer's episode on Totally Unexpected! Aura Rosenblatt's episode on Totally Unexpected! Stay in touch with Julia! Julia on Instagram https://jkmakowsky.com https://www.youtube.com/@juliakmakowsky Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#49
July 13 · 2 hr 1 min
Sonia Daccarett's Story: Palestinian Father, Jewish Mother, & a Search for Identity
Sonia begins by telling Chavie about the memoir-writing class that unexpectedly became her book. Then, they trace her childhood, starting with her Jewish grandparents who fled Eastern Europe, her Christian Arab grandparents who left Ottoman-era Bethlehem, and how her parents met in Colombia and built a new life together. Growing up, Sonia repeatedly asked, “What are we?” Her parents wanted their children to choose their own beliefs, but their answer, “We are nothing” left her longing to belong. She walks Chavie through the beauty of her tropical childhood, the cartel violence that transformed Colombia, and the first time a conflict in the Middle East exposed the identities and loyalties her parents had tried to set aside. At 18, Sonia left for college in America, where she explored Middle Eastern history, Hebrew, Arabic, and the Judaism that ultimately became central to her adult life. Chavie and Sonia reflect on the foundations parents give their children, even when they try not to impose, and how writing allowed Sonia to see her parents and grandparents as flawed, complicated, deeply loved people. They end with her return to her childhood home, her mother’s willingness to be uncomfortable for the sake of the book, and the ethical line between telling your own story and telling someone else’s. Sonia Daccarett, author of the newly released book, The Roots of the Guava Tree, is a writer and communications professional. Born in Colombia to a Christian Palestinian father and a Jewish mother, she moved to the United States and received an undergraduate degree in journalism from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and a master’s degree in international and public affairs from Columbia University. For more than two decades, she worked on strategic communications initiatives with corporate and non-profit clients and currently writes and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her family. This Week's Prompt How does antisemitism affect you? Does it make you want to be louder or go under the radar? No wrong answers! This segment, at the end of every episode, features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on a given prompt. Referenced On the Pod 1:47:43 Rebbetzin Miriam Lipsker of Chabad at Emory University viral video 1:58:27 Chavie's blogpost, I Need a Minute, in reaction to the chanukah Bondi massacre Stay in touch with Sonia! www.soniadaccarett.com Sonia on Instagram Order The Roots of the Guava Tree Here Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#48
June 29 · 2 hr 46 min
Sorella Abrahams' Story: From Love In London To Terror In Bondi
Sorella shares what it was like to grow up in London as the eleventh of twelve children in a big, Chabad family, and how her school and community experiences were shaped by a mix of Holocaust survivors, Russian immigrants, and baalei teshuvahs. She shares how, at eleven years old, her childhood was abruptly changed when her 17-year-old sister Chayale passed away suddenly, and on the same day, her best friend, Dina’s younger sister, Malky, also passed away. Chavie asks what grief looked like in the home after that, and Sorella talks about how her sister was spoken about constantly, even if the tools for processing grief were different than they are today. Sorella then shares how those two losses connected their families forever and how Dina’s older brother, Aycee, eventually became her husband after years of friendship, chemistry, and trying to convince herself he was too familiar and safe. Chavie and Sorella trace her move to Sydney, where she and Aycee built a life on shlichus, and the transition from their established roles into founding Abraham’s Tent, an organization supporting Jewish patients and families in hospitals. The losses of both their mothers became a turning point for Sorella and Aycee, pushing them to question whether they were really living up to their potential and eventually leading them to start Abraham’s Tent. Sorella then walks Chavie through a play by play of the Chanukah attack at Bondi Beach, where their close friend Rabbi Eli Schlanger was killed, and what it was like to run with her children, search for the ones who weren’t with her, and then step into the aftermath as Abraham’s Tent became part of the response for the injured and their families. Chavie reflects on how grief keeps showing up differently as life moves forward. Chavie and Sorella talk about faith, anger, fear, purpose, and what it means to keep bringing light while still living with the questions. Sorella Abrahams is a passionate community builder and Chabad Shlucha, born in the UK into a large Chabad family. From a young age she developed a deep love for people and a fascination with their stories and journeys. Together with her husband Rabbi Aycee, Sorella founded Abrahams Tent and The Soul Centre in Randwick, Sydney in 2022, creating spaces that support hospital patients and their families while nurturing community, wellbeing and spiritual growth. Through challenges in her own life, Sorella has learned to turn pain into purpose and madness into meaning, using her experiences to uplift and support others. A devoted wife and mother of four, she is passionate about teaching women, building meaningful connections, creative writing, public speaking, and travelling G-D's magical world. This Week's Prompt Tell me about the time you forgave someone or asked someone for forgiveness! This segment at the end of every episode features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on a given prompt. Referenced On the Pod 43:36 Merkos Shlichus 45:56 Bikur Cholim London 57:46 Abrahams’s Tent Sydney 1:14:10 Sefirat HaOmer 1:17:43 Awarness By Miriam Adahan 2:30:02 Faith Niece interview with Sony Perlman 2:33:56 Shaindy Plotzker 2:34:07 Shalom for Charlotte Stay in touch with Sorella! sorella@abrahamstent.org.au @sorellaellaella on Instagram www.abrahamstent.org.au www.supportsydney.org/Eli Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#47
June 15 · 2 hr 20 min
Yisroel Bernath's Story: The Forgiveness Experiment
Yisroel tells Chavie about his childhood in Des Plaines, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, where he was raised by parents who were still in the process of becoming more observant. Yisroel opens up about having a stutter as a child, the first time he has ever shared this publicly. He reflects on how it shaped the way he learned to speak, pause, and communicate with intention. He talks about being perceived as a mainstream Chabad yeshiva boy while internally struggling with not fitting in, and how he eventually made the radical decision to leave the regular yeshiva track and spend a year in Tiferes, a yeshiva built for beginners in Morristown, NJ. He shares how that choice changed his relationship with Judaism, Hassidic teachings, and eventually his work as a rabbi. Chavie and Yisroel then trace his unexpected path to Montreal, where he established Chabad of NDG and began working with young Jewish professionals and became known as the “Love Rabbi,” leading to matchmaking and the documentary Kosher Love. Chavie asks what led him to write The Forgiveness Experiment, and Yisroel shares the Yom Kippur Facebook post that opened his eyes to how much resentment people quietly carry, especially toward those in leadership positions. They deep dive into what it’s like to feel wronged by G-d, and what it means to move from waiting to be rescued toward becoming a co-creator in your own life. Rabbi Yisroel Bernath is the senior rabbi of Rohr Chabad NDG in Montreal and the voice behind a growing global audience online, where he shares heart-open reflections on relationships, healing, and purpose. Known for his honest and relatable style, he brings together Jewish wisdom, Kabbalah, and real-life experience to help people navigate love, pain, and personal growth. He is the author of The Forgiveness Experiment, a #1 Amazon bestseller that explores what life could look like if we truly let go. Through his writing, podcasts, and social media, Rabbi Bernath invites people into deeper, more meaningful conversations with themselves and with each other. This Week's Prompt Tell me about your fitness journey! Do you have a routine? How has your relationship with fitness evolved? This NEW segment at the end of every episode features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on the given prompt. Referenced On the Pod 00:1:29 Chavie’s blogpost about Zeesy health journey 27:55 Tiferes Bachurim - Rabbinical College of America 51:41 - Kosher Love Documentary 1:16:46 Steven Karpman - Karpman Drama Triangle 1:16:50 - Omer Pinto 1:22:49 - David Emerald 1:59:59 Chavie’s interview with Moshe Weinbaum 2:01:05 - Chavie’s blogpost about her fitness journey 2:13:25 Walk At Home - at home workout subscription 2:19:07 Jazzercize Stay in touch with Yisroel! www.theloverabbi.com rabbi@jewishndg.com @montrealrabbi on Instagram @myrabbi Facebook www.forgivenessbook.org The Forgiveness Experiment - Paperback The Forgiveness Experiment - Kindle The Forgiveness Experiment Audiobook Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#46
June 1 · 2 hr 10 min
Paola Feher's Story: From Yoga to Ayurveda - A Guide to Breath, Body, & Self
Chavie and Paola open by reminiscing about how they first connected when Paola walked into Chabad of Bozeman for a Passover seder 18 years ago and instantly felt at home. Paola talks about her childhood as a first generation American, the daughter of two physicists, a Holocaust survivor father who fled to Israel before eventually founding the physics department at UCSD, and what it was like growing up in a home where intellect was everything. Paola shares how she struggled with depression as a teenager and found her way through nature and eventually yoga, which became the spirituality she hadn't known she was looking for. Chavie asks Paola to go deep on what yoga actually is beyond the physical poses, and they talk about breath, what it means to really be in your body, and Chavie opens up about her own struggles connecting to her breath. Paola then walks through three defining moments of grief and loss in her life and how each one eventually led her to Ayurveda, which has now become a central part of how she works with clients. Chavie asks Paola to use her as a live case study, and Paola maps out Chavie's Ayurvedic constitution right there in the episode. Paola Feher holds a Master’s in Biomechanics and a Master’s in Ayurveda. She is a massage therapist and yoga therapist who started her own practice in 1997, working with chronic pain, injury rehabilitation, and injury prevention. When she is not working, Paola loves to be outside. She has an extensive garden where she grows her own fruits and vegetables in the summer and preserves them for the winter. She also loves ice climbing, skiing, mountain biking, hiking, climbing peaks, swimming, running, and practicing yoga. She shares her life with two kitties, her partner, and close friends and family she adores. This Week's Prompt Did You Ever Experience Burnout and What Did That Feel Like? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt! Referenced On the Pod 37:11 T. K. V. Desikachar 1:59:52 Hunt Gather Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff Stay in touch with Paola! www.bozemanhealingarts.com Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#45
May 18 · 2 hr 42 min
Aimee Baron's Story: I Was Supposed To Have a Baby
Aimee opens up to Chavie about her childhood in Lakewood, where her Holocaust survivor grandparents had a chicken farm. She shares how she became religious and didn’t go to prom because it was on a Friday night. Aimee talks about her path through medicine, and the fertility journey that changed her life: four miscarriages in a row and the miracle twins who were born after. Aimee shares how she founded I Was Supposed To Have A Baby and explains why success isn’t always about having a baby. Aimee and Chavie talk about burnout, what happens when holding everyone else’s pain catches up with you, and how sometimes the work is learning to live with what is unfinished. Aimee Baron, MD, FAAP, is the founder and executive director of I Was Supposed to Have a Baby (IWSTHAB), an organization transforming how the Jewish community cares for people navigating fertility struggles and loss. After years of secondary infertility and multiple pregnancy losses, Dr. Baron became deeply aware of the need for better emotional, communal, and practical support for those trying to build a family. IWSTHAB provides mental health support, educational resources, digital programming, communal spaces, and connections to wider support networks for people experiencing infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, termination for medical reasons, donor conception, adoption, surrogacy, and more. Dr. Baron is passionate about creating community where people in pain feel validated, comforted, and held, and where those around them know how to show up with care. She previously served as Director of Innovation and Growth at NechamaComfort and worked as an attending pediatrician in the newborn nursery and neonatal intensive care unit at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital. She lives in the New York area with her husband and children. This Week's Prompt Are You a Home Birth Mama or Only In the Hospital Mama? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt! Referenced On the Pod 20:58 NCSY 32:53 Chabad of Binghamton 32:57 Rivkah Slonim Interview on Totally Unexpected! 36:35 Chabad of Harvard - Rabbi Hirschy & Elkie Zarchi 38:35 Chabad at Syracuse - Rabbi Yaakov & Chanie Rapoport 1:20:17 Nechama Comfort - Reva Judas, Founder & Director 1:24:15 ATIME 1:24:15 Bonei Olam 1:24:15 PUAH 1:24:15 Knafayim 2:27:14 Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin 2:28:09 Aura Rosenblatt interview on Totally Unexpected! Stay in touch with Aimee! www.iwassupposedtohaveababy.org IWSTHAB Resource Library & Support Groups @iwassupposedtohaveababy on Instagram Talking Away The Taboo Podcast LinkedIn Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#44
May 4 · 1 hr 59 min
Dassi Zar's Story: In Between Selves - The Act of Rebirthing
Chavie sits down with Dassi, who starts out by sharing how she was born in Iran in the middle of the Iran-Iraq war, where her mother delivered her by emergency C-section during a blackout. Dassi talks about her family's escape from Iran, her grandparents being smuggled out through the Baluchi mountains, and how her parents left behind everything they had built to start over in America with nothing. Dassi shares what it was like growing up as a Persian Jew in New Jersey, caught between two cultures, never fully belonging to either, and how that sense of not fitting in eventually led her on a spiritual quest exploring Kabbalah and Chassidus.Chavie asks about Dassi's years working as a doula and hypnobirthing educator before she was even married, attending hundreds of births and co-founding the Boston Doula Circle, and what it was like to witness so much life coming into the world before navigating her own fertility journey. Dassi opens up about six years of infertility, the pregnancy with her second daughter, and how that collided with the unraveling of her marriage. Chavie and Dassi talk about IFS therapy, energy work, and learning how to heal by listening to the body. Dassi Zar is a mom of two, the founder of The Resilient Minded Mom, and an IFS-informed coach who helps women navigate life with clarity and self-trust. A former Shlucha in Lower Manhattan, as well as a Yoga and Pilates instructor, she brings both depth and lived experience to her work. She is also the owner of The 50FF Wig, a business rooted in confidence and accessibility. Having moved through her own seasons of challenge and growth, Dassi is deeply committed to authenticity, truth-seeking, and ultimately helping women come home to themselves. This Week's Prompt Jewish Books vs Non Jewish Books - Where Do You Draw the Line? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt! Referenced On the Pod 15:46 HIAS Org (Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society) https://hias.org/ 21:10 The Ben Ish Chai https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yosef_Hayyim 37:33 Machon Chana https://www.machonchana.org/ 47:53 Moshe weinbaum ep https://open.spotify.com/episode/02tJfMvr9wlnI5tDfZ49Fc?si=wXFBiu-NTHGo_Q1dZJukqw 1:21:00 IFS: Internal Family Systems https://ifs-institute.com/ 1:26:25 Eckhart Tolle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_Tolle Stay in touch with Dassi! @bowerymama on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bowerymama/ @the50ffwig on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the50ffwig/ Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#43
April 20 · 2 hr 24 min
Elin Cohen's Story: Meet Chavie's Book Buddy
Chavie sits down with her long-distance book buddy Elin for a special episode where they review their book buddy picks but first, Elin shares what it was like growing up in Sweden, the extreme swings between dark winters and sun-filled summers, the way catching sunlight becomes a cultural priority, and how hygge isn't just a trend there but a way of survival. Elin talks about the meet-cute way she and her husband had at Ascent in Tzfat and how they ended up living and working in Kenya at the height of the HIV crisis. Chavie asks about what parenting looked like while living abroad and moving back and forth between countries. Elin talks about the devastating loss of her brother-in-law and his wife, how her niece became a permanent member of their family, and the foster care advocacy work that she is now involved with. In the second half of this conversation, Chavie and Elin go through their book buddy picks, what they loved and what they didn’t, and how reading the same books and talking about them ends up being a way of getting to know someone more deeply than you normally would. Elin Cohen grew up in Stockholm, Sweden, and lives with her family in San Francisco, California. She holds a JSD (PhD in Law) from Stanford University and works in international economic development, supporting the design and implementation of U.S. government foreign assistance programs. She very much enjoys being at home in beautiful San Francisco with her family and friends, and she also feels fortunate to travel extensively for work, to visit family, and for fun and adventures. Elin is a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer for youth in foster care and she is also an avid reader. She and Chavie are book buddies and frequently chat about the books they are reading together, as well as the many reflections those books spark in relation to their own lives, experiences and perspectives. This Week's Prompt Bar Mitzvah Culture Is Out of Hand: Yes or No? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt! Referenced On the Pod 30:46 – Ascent Institute 1:09:19 – National CASA Program A full list of Chavie and Elin’s book buddy picks, along with the book podcasts mentioned will be available on www.totallyunexpected.blog. Stay in touch with Elin! @elin.cohen on Instagram Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#42
April 5 · 53 min
SPECIAL EPISODE: A Day In the Life of Chavie Bruk
In this episode, Chavie sits down with her producer, Elie Benhiyoun, to break down what a day in the life of Chavie Bruk looks like. She walks through a recent Friday, from the moment she wakes up already feeling overwhelmed to the moment she gets into bed with a book after the last Shabbos guest leaves. She opens up about her morning routine, and how she has learned over the years to protect the things that keep her going, including exercise, a proper lunch, and therapy, even on the busiest days. Chavie breaks down her post-treadmill protein shake situation, her gluten-free bagel with lox that she somehow managed to sit down for in the middle of cooking for 70 people, and the secret hummus recipe that has become a staple of her Shabbos table. She shares what came up in her therapy session that Friday, tracing her discomfort with pressure and overwhelm back to her childhood as the oldest sibling on Shlichus. She then walks through the hours of cooking for 70 Shabbos guests, the constant interruptions, the mikvah construction happening steps from her house, and how she designs her schedule to avoid coming into Shabbos frazzled. Chavie also talks about what Friday night actually looks like, the women gathering in the kitchen before the meal, the dynamic she and her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk, have built at the Shabbos table, and which books she reaches for once the guests are finally gone. This interview was published in written format for a collaboration with Valour Magazine. You can find the full interview in print format here: https://valourlifestyle.co.uk Referenced On the Pod 3:16 Valour Magazine 23:42: Busy In Brooklyn Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
S1 · E41
March 23 · 2 hr 13 min
Rivkah Slonim's Story: Chassidic Feminism - Could It Be?
Chavie sits down with Rivkah Slonim — author, lecturer, and self-described Chassidic feminist — and walks through her childhood growing up in Crown Heights in close proximity to the Rebbe and Rebbetzin, with grandparents rooted in the illustrious Kapichnitz Chassidic dynasty. Rivkah shares how she came to coin the term "Chassidic feminist" and traces it back to her early years at Chabad of Binghamton, where she was confronted with the widespread assumption that Chassidic women are oppressed, and found herself doing the research to answer questions she had never quite asked before. Chavie brings the hard questions she has collected from her community and her own life about women's place in Jewish law and tradition — including mikvah, taharat hamishpacha, and halacha's relationship with female equality. They then dig into what it means to build a community and raise a family on Shlichus, and whether self-care is a modern invention or just an age-old value with a new name. Rivkah also shares how she came to author her most recent book, Holy Intimacy — which brings the conversation about women's pleasure and Jewish marriage into the open for the first time. Rivkah Slonim is the Associate Director of the Rohr Chabad Center for Jewish Student Life at Binghamton University, which she co-founded with her husband, Rabbi Aaron Slonim, in 1985. A self-described Chassidic feminist, she is an internationally known lecturer and activist. She is the editor of Total Immersion: A Mikvah Anthology (Jason Aronson, 1996; Urim, 2006) and Bread and Fire: Jewish Women Find God in the Everyday, and co-author of Holy Intimacy: The Heart and Soul of Jewish Marriage with Sara Morozow. Slonim serves on the Editorial Board of the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute, sits on the executive boards of Tamim Academy and the Institute of Jewish Spirituality and Society, and is a senior lecturer at Bais Chanah Women International. This Week's Prompt What are your favorite Pesach hacks and tips? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 2:06:39 Chavie's blogpost on Substack about her Bubby Links to Rivkah's books: Order Holy Intimacy on Amazon Order Total Immersion on Amazon Order Bread & Fire on Amazon Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube This episode is dedicated in honor of my dear mother, Rivky Slonim, who inspires me daily. May she continue to inspire the world in good health for many more years! - Chani Levertov Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#40
March 9 · 2 hr 28 min
Chaim Bruk's Story, Part 2: Our Infertility & Adoption Story
Chavie sits down with her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk, the podcast’s first returning guest, just ahead of their 20th anniversary. For the first time, they walk through their entire infertility and adoption journey from beginning to end. They revisit the moment they received the excruciating diagnosis of permanent infertility and how they charted their own path in a world where infertility and adoption was still taboo, and their decision to go public when the expectation was to keep these struggles hush-hush. They walk through each of the five adoptions and the unique challenges each of them faced: Chaya, their first baby, born a premie in Moscow, Russia; Menny, a Black child born in Maryland; Zeesy, and the discovery of her life-threatening rare metabolic disorder; how Shoshana joined the family as a pre-teen, and Chana Laya, their only child born in Montana, and the unique relationship they still maintain with her birth grandparents. As always, Chavie and Chaim tell their story with their iconic banter, drama, and humor. Rabbi Chaim Bruk is the Co-CEO and spiritual leader of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana. He moved to Montana in 2007 with his wife Chavie, where they launched a renaissance of Jewish life across the state. They are raising their five children in Big Sky Country, where they enjoy nature daily. Chaim loves teaching Torah, writing about Judaism and current events, and has an obsession with kosher sushi. This Week's Prompt Is Falling In Love Overrated? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 2:32 Totally Unexpected! on Youtube 3:19 First Interview with Rabbi Chaim Bruk on Totally Unexpected! 17:05 Bonei Olam Financial Assistance for Infertility Treatment 1:57:07 Interview with Shoshana Bruk on Totally Unexpected! Stay in touch with Rabbi Chaim! www.jewishmontana.com www.instagram.com/chabadmontana X @MontanaJew Weekly Torah Class on Youtube Montana's Jewish Voice Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#39
February 23 · 2 hr 11 min
Anna Sherman's Story: Life After Brain Surgery
Chavie and Anna begin with Anna’s roots in Toronto and what drew her toward becoming more religious in high school, navigating the tension between the world she grew up in and the one she was choosing. Anna opens up about her first two marriages and what it felt like to be a young divorced woman in a community where it was taboo and kept hush-hush which leads to Chavie and Anna reflecting on the progress made in removing shame around taboo subjects. Anna then shares how she met and fell in love with her current husband, and Chavie asks how she learned to trust herself again after so much trauma. Anna talks about becoming a therapist, how lived experience shaped her empathy, and then walks through the moment a mass was discovered in her brain. Chavie and Anna go step by step through the days leading up to surgery, the spiritual serenity she felt going in, and the recovery she is still navigating today. Anna Sherman is a Registered Psychotherapist, dedicated wife, mother of twin girls, and stroke survivor who underwent brain surgery. She works with individuals, couples, and families, helping her clients heal from trauma, fears, and emotional blocks. Anna lives in her hometown of Toronto, Canada. This Week's Prompt Are two hour podcasts too long? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 38:20 The Jeff Seidel Foundation 41:39 Yeshivas Bircas Hatorah Therapy Modalities Chavie & Anna Reference: EFT: Emotionally Focused Therapy EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing IFS: Internal Family Systems Stay in touch with Anna! www.annashermanrp.com Anna on Instagram Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#38
February 9 · 2 hr 32 min
Mushky Yiftach Hashem's Story: Becoming the Duct Tape Queen
Chavie starts off by diving into Mushky’s early relationship with creativity. She talks about her mother noticing her artistic tendencies and her love of crafts being nurtured by her grandfather. Mushky shares how she came back from seminary and rediscovered the pull toward crafts, including when she realized if you can make something out of duct tape, you can make anything. Mushky explains how designing and wearing duct tape outfits became a form of safety, giving her structure and permission to perform and show up on camera. Mushky shares about her major lifequake moment, losing her job, having to leave Los Angeles, and the healing journey that followed. Chavie and Mushky talk about anger and how it rises as a sign of misalignment, and they also dive into podcasting and The Sisters Chat. Chavie talks about the different roles podcasts can play, and how she feels her role is to hold long-form conversations and resist the urge for quick content. Mushky aka the Duct Tape Lady is the founder of On a Roll Crafts, an Instagram content creator, and the creative force behind beloved clay and tambourine kits used by Shluchos and Jewish organizations across the U.S. and beyond. A longtime educator turned craft creator and co-host of The Sisters Chat podcast, Mushky blends chinuch, creativity, and performance to make Yiddishkeit hands-on, joyful, and totally unexpected. This Week's Prompt Do kids get to choose their own values or do parents always decide? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their hot takes on a featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 44:40min Kathy Heller’s podcast, Everything Is Energy 47:45 Camp Crate 49:17 Mushky on Tovido 49:21 Mushky’s YouTube channel 49:22 Mushky on Kosher.com 50:03 Michelle Moses 1:34:16 The Sister’s Chat podcast 2:18:31 Sara Miriam Smith on Totally Unexpected! Stay in touch with Mushky! Mushky on Instagram Aloomacrafts.com The Sister's Chat Mushky's YouTube channel Info@onarollcrafts.com Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#37
January 26 · 2 hr 27 min
Yocheved Shapiro's Story: A Parent’s Guide to School Advocacy
Yocheved shares her background growing up in a loud, opinionated family as the quieter sibling sandwiched between strong personalities, and how her parents’ journey as baalei teshuva (people who became religious later in life) — including her father returning to school for a master’s in education — shaped her identity as an educator. Chavie and Yocheved compare birth order dynamics, with Chavie as the oldest of nine and Yocheved navigating not knowing where she fit, and how that later informed Yocheved’s certainty about becoming an educational advocate. Yocheved talks openly about struggling in traditional classrooms, loving college and research, and realizing that her strength was learning rather than schooling, which leads into a candid conversation about why so many children struggle in rigid educational systems and where responsibility really lies between schools and parents. The conversation turns personal as Yocheved shares her fertility journey, her decision to be open about shidduchim and PCOS, and what it was like raising children with very different temperaments, including selective mutism and multiple neurodivergent diagnoses. Chavie and Yocheved dig into nature versus nurture, letting go of outcomes in parenting, and how to set measurable goals without lowering expectations. They close by talking about confidence versus self-esteem, avoiding power struggles, trusting your gut as a parent, and how to show up to schools in ways that are effective rather than just emotionally validating. Yocheved Shapiro, M.Ed. is a dedicated educator and advocate with over 20 years of experience in early childhood education. Holding a Master’s in Educational Psychology, she combines professional expertise with personal experience as a parent of three neurodivergent children, championing their success in every aspect of life. She is passionate about guiding and empowering parents and educators in navigating and gaining access to the appropriate resources to best support children. This Week's Prompt How Do You Color Outside the Lines of Societal Expectations In Your Daily Life? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their hot takes on our featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 10:39 Totally Unexpected! interview with Chevee Szokovski 48:47 Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs 1:22:32 The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 1:29:29 Ari Shapiro’s (Yocheved’s son) website 1:29:57 JEM - Jewish Educational Media 2:15:15 Totally Unexpected! interview with Sarah Immerman Stay in touch with Yocheved! WhatsApp: 718-501-2165 yochshap@gmail.com Yocheved on Instagram www.ShapiroEducationalConsulting.com Yocheved's WhatsApp Group Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#36
January 12 · 2 hr 18 min
Yocheved Sidof's Story: Straddling the Edges of Faith & Healing
Chavie and Yocheved start by bonding over their shared experiences navigating parenting struggles and challenges. Yocheved unveils her family’s roots in Iran, including the persecution and faith of the Mashadi Jewish community, and how her parents’ immigration to the United States eventually brought them into the Chabad community in Minnesota. Chavie and Yocheved talk about their shared curiosity about the human mind, and Yocheved reflects on being drawn to both Chassidus and psychology from a young age, which led her to pursue her PhD in clinical psychology at twenty-one. Chavie walks through Yocheved’s creative work as a photographer and filmmaker, and how that work grew into advocacy for children outside the mainstream in Crown Heights, including founding Lamplighters, a Chassidic Montessori school. They talk about what it looks like to pursue a life mission while raising children, and the constant tension between guilt and gratitude that follows. Chavie and Yocheved discuss the role of women in Jewish ritual spaces and what it looks like to push edges without compromising halachic values. Chavie closes the conversation by asking Yocheved about psychedelics and whether it’s possible to be on a healing journey without them. Yocheved Sidof is a spiritual and social entrepreneur, teacher, and guide devoted to cultivating deeper ways of being rooted in Torah, presence, and lived faith. She is the founder of Ohmek, a contemplative community offering sacred spaces for spiritual deepening, healing, and remembrance through learning, ritual, and embodied practice. Yocheved leads healing pilgrimages to Poland and Israel, inviting participants to meet history, grief, and holiness with courage and consciousness. She draws on Jewish mysticism, trauma-informed wisdom, and decades of leadership experience, while currently pursuing a PhD in Transpersonal Research. Her work speaks to women seeking a spiritually grounded path that honors devotion, depth, and the quiet unfolding of the soul. This Week's Hot Take Fast Fashion: Love it, hate it, or necessary evil? NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their hot takes on our featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 1:18:53 Ohmek 1:26:55 Thomas Huebl 1:40:33 Tanya Chapter 42 2:04:50 Michal Carlebach's episode on Totally Unexpected! Stay in touch with Yocheved! https://linktr.ee/Yochevedsidof ohmekliving.com Yocheved's Weekly Class on Spotify ‎Open this link to join Ohmek WhatsApp Community Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#35
Dec 29, 2025 · 2 hr 18 min
Abi Radcliffe's Story: Are Vulnerability & Authenticity the Same Thing?
Chavie and Abi start off discussing how important it is to be selective with friendships as adults in order to preserve emotional bandwidth for deeper relationships. Abi shares her experience moving between Chabad and non-Chabad schools and how she was always drawn to creativity from a young age, from tinkering with Barbie clothing and scarves to studying fashion in school. She talks about working in retail fashion, stepping back to raise her children, and later joining a children’s wear store in Toronto. There, she became involved in everything from buying and visual merchandising to sales and running the store’s social media. Chavie asks Abi to walk her through her approach to growing an Instagram presence, including her top tips for reels and the tension between being real online without sharing more than feels right. Chavie and Abi also share date night ideas and talk about navigating relationships with people who struggle with anxiety. Chavie closes out the conversation by asking Abi to share her ideal daily routine. Abi explains that her non-negotiable is starting the day without her phone and giving herself a quiet buffer before everything else begins. Abi Radcliffe is a Canadian modest content creator. She enjoys sharing light and easygoing content that bring joy. You can find her sipping black coffee at work or fleeing the country to discover new places. She is a mother of three plus a cat that is definitely considered her fourth child. Abi loves sharing fashion finds and content that is happiness inducing. Referenced On the Pod 11:08 Andrew Huberman’s podcast, The Huberman Lab 57:25 Abi Radcliffe's Fierce & Frum blog 1:00:29 Astrology episode on Totally Unexpected! with Mendel Zirkind 1:18:36 Sha’ar Habitachon - Gate of Trust by Rabbeinu Bachya ben Yosef ibn Paquda 2:05:09 Moishe & Chaya Chanin’s podcast, Undecided & Committed Stay in touch with Abi @abiradcliffe_ on Instagram! Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
#34
Dec 15, 2025 · 2 hr 16 min
Chevee Szokovski's Story: Where Do I Fit In?
This week, Chavie welcomes her lifelong bestie, Chevee Szokovski, to the pod. They start by rewinding the clock to their high school days in Chicago. Chevee shares that she never quite fit in with the popular cliques going back to grade school and that she often felt socially isolated in high school as well. Chavie and Chevee dive into what it’s like to forgive childhood bullies while still carrying the scars they left behind. They reminisce about their seminary days and what life was like living in an Israeli dorm. Chevee opens up about dating, marriage, and how she and her husband were primed to start a Chabad House, until her husband came to the realization that his values didn’t align with that life path. Chavie asks Chevee how she navigated this life-altering shift while maintaining her marriage. They also talk about Chevee’s work as an early childhood educator and her focus on normalizing the inclusion of children with special needs in mainstream classrooms. And of course, if Chavie's bestie and book club buddy is on the pod, you know there will be plenty of Brene Brown quotes to go around. Chevee is a wife and mom of three, and has been best friends with Chavie Bruk for more than half their lives. She strives to live a values-driven life and is deeply passionate about education and inclusion. Chevee has been teaching for over 20 years and is a lifelong learner. She is the director of FCHS, a Hebrew school for children with special needs. Referenced On the Pod 6:56 "Sorry I’m Late I Didn’t Want To Come" by Jessica Pan 1:11:48 "Call Me Back with Dan Senor" podcast 1:39:08 “Clear is Kind” - Brene Brown 1:40:15 "All I Needed To Know I Learned In Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum 1:47:14 "What Happened To You" by Oprah Winfrey & Bruce D. Perry Stay in touch with Chevee at cheveeh@gmail.com. Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog This episode is dedicated it to Eli Schlanger and all the other beautiful souls who were murdered in Sydney, Australia. We keep in our hearts their families, for whom Chanukah is never going to be the same. As Jews, we are not strangers to holding pain and suffering and fear alongside joy and light and courage and strength. From the bottom of my heart, I wish everyone a happy, peaceful, and joyous Chanukah, and I ask that we keep in mind all the souls that lost their lives for being Jewish, and elevate them in our determination to not back down. Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

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