Health & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-Improvement

The Overwhelm Cure

Kimberly Knull

Transforming Stress into Peace and Balance

In the past five years, my clients starting short-term disability for stress and burnout have risen from nearly zero to 80%.

This is not okay.

Over my 20 years as a practicing psychologist, I've seen an alarming rise in stress and burnout, and it's accelerated since 2020.

I've come through the other side of burnout. In 2019, I resigned from my job after discovering that traditional solutions to feeling overworked weren't enough. Based on my experience and several years of research in my private practice, I developed The Overwhelm Cure.

You'll discover client success stories and research-backed methods to combat this mounting crisis.

There's a reason why our current lives aren't making us happy, and each week, you'll discover proven strategies to help you create significant change.

Dream big, make great decisions, and manage your emotions.

Join me to start building your roadmap to lasting calmness and harmony.

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August 5 · 23 min
72: Care Less, Live More: How to Stop Hustling for Your Worthiness
A little while ago, someone gave me a piece of advice. "Stop caring so much." My first reaction? Out of context, I wanted to argue. Don't we have a caring crisis? Shouldn't more people care more, not less? But when I zoomed in on what's actually fueling my own overwhelm, the advice landed differently. I wasn't lacking care, I was spending it in all the wrong places: on problems I can't solve, people who didn't ask for my help, and critics whose opinion I'll never change no matter how hard I try. In this episode, I dig into where "caring too much" really comes from (hint: it traces back to perfectionism and our hardwired need for love and belonging), why struggling isn't the same as trauma, and why letting the people we love make their own choices, even their own mistakes, is one of the most respectful things we can do for them. I'll also walk you through how to figure out who and what actually deserves your care, so you can stop hustling for the approval of people who were never going to be impressed anyway and start saving your best energy for the people and priorities that matter most. In this episode, discover: ● Why "stop caring so much" isn't uncaring, it's discernment, and it might be the permission you didn't know you needed. ● How caring too much is often rooted in perfectionism and an unconscious belief that your worth depends on being endlessly productive or helpful. ● Why struggling is not the same as trauma, and how confusing the two keeps us rescuing people who don't need (or want) rescuing. ● A simple exercise to identify your real top five priorities, and why you have to be on that list. ● How to stop hustling for the approval of your harshest critics, whose respect you'll likely never earn no matter how hard you try. ● Why giving your best self to the people you love sometimes means doing less for everyone else. Timestamps: ● 00:00 The Advice That Started It All ● 01:14 Wait — Don't We Need More Caring? ● 02:32 Where Overwhelm Really Comes From ● 03:48 The Roots of Caring Too Much: Perfectionism & Belonging ● 05:20 Taking On Problems That Aren't Yours ● 07:05 Struggling Isn't Trauma ● 08:40 Watching Kids (and Adults) Learn to Walk ● 10:32 Letting Go When They Move Away ● 12:05 The Truth About "What Will People Think?" ● 13:40 Why Everyone Is Replaceable ● 15:02 Building Your Top-Five Priority List ● 17:10 Caring Less About Your Harshest Critics ● 18:35 Giving Your Best Self to the People Who Matter ● 19:50 Dare to Lead Edmonton & Closing Thoughts Links from today's episode: Dare to Lead Workshop — October, Edmonton (use code COURAGE for 10% off) Connect with Kimberly: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
June 22 · 29 min
71: The "Have To" Trap: Why You're Exhausted, Resentful, and How to Get Out
Do you ever feel like your life is being run by an invisible rulebook you never agreed to? I should post weekly. I have to work late. I'm supposed to do it this way. In this episode, I'm getting personal — sharing the exact moment I realized that the word "have to" had quietly taken over my work, my schedule, and my sense of self. After three years of recording a podcast every single week (yes, even on holidays, even at midnight before family trips), I finally asked myself a question I should have asked long ago: Who actually made this rule? And why was I so afraid to break it? Drawing on cognitive behavioral therapy principles, I walk you through how our unexamined "should" thoughts generate real feelings of pressure, resentment, and overwhelm — and how a simple shift in awareness can change everything. Because here's the truth: most of the rules driving your exhaustion aren't facts. They're automatic thoughts. And you can change them. What you'll discover today: • Why "I have to" and "I should" are rarely facts — and what they're actually costing you • How automatic, unexamined thoughts create feelings of obligation, guilt, and overwhelm • The specific question to ask yourself that reveals whether a "rule" is actually worth following • How running on "shoulds" quietly affects your mood, your energy, and the people around you • A practical framework for rethinking your responsibilities and becoming more intentional about what you take on • Why authenticity and courage — not perfection — are what people are actually looking for from you Timestamps: 00:00 — Introduction: When Business Overwhelm is Really a Mindset Problem 03:45 — The Hidden Cost of Outsourcing Your Creative Voice 07:20 — Perfectionism vs. Authenticity: What Audiences Actually Want 11:00 — Algorithm Rules and the "Shoulds" of Social Media 15:30 — The Weekly Podcast Grind: A Case Study in Obligation 20:00 — What Happens When You Finally Give Yourself Permission 24:00 — The CBT Framework: Rethinking Your Responsibilities 27:30 — How "Shoulds" Run in the Background and Drain Your Joy 31:00 — Practical Steps to Identify and Question Your Obligations 35:00 — Final Thoughts: Efficiency, Effectiveness, and Living Intentionally Connect with Kimberly: • Get in touch: kimberlyknull.com/contact • Connect on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kimberly-knull/ • Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/courageousleadership.ca/ • Connect on Instagram: instagram.com/kimberlyknullpsych/
#70
June 3 · 23 min
70: You've Stopped Having Fun — And It's Affecting Everyone Around You
Be honest — when was the last time someone described you as fun to be around? If that question makes you a little defensive, you're not alone. When we're overwhelmed, exhausted, and running on empty, fun is usually the first thing to go. And when we stop having fun, we stop being fun — for our kids, our partners, our friends, and ourselves. In this episode, I'm asking a question that might sting a little, but one I believe is worth sitting with: How much fun are you to be around? This isn't about being the life of the party. It's about recognizing that chronic overwhelm quietly robs us of our lightness, our humor, and our ability to connect — and that has real consequences for the relationships we work so hard to protect. What you'll discover today: • Why overwhelm turns us tunnel-visioned and makes us lose our humor, lightness, and ability to truly connect with the people we love • The neuroscience behind why your brain needs fun — and what happens when it doesn't get it (hint: wine, Netflix, and late-night scrolling are not accidents) • The "I'll have fun later" trap — why waiting for the kids to grow up, retirement, or things to slow down is a dangerous strategy • Why so many women can't answer the question "what do you enjoy?" — and why that's not okay • How guilt, fear, and the belief that self-sacrifice is a virtue keep us stuck at the bottom of our own list • A practical exercise to help you figure out what actually lights you up — and why writing it down makes all the difference • Why prioritizing your own joy is one of the best things you can do for your family, not a selfish act Timestamps: 00:00 The Question That Makes Us Defensive 01:30 Overwhelm and Self-Awareness 03:00 We Work Hard For the People We Love — So Be Fun for Them 04:59 The "I'll Have Fun Later" Trap 07:30 Summer as an Invitation to Reclaim Joy 08:00 Why Women Can't Answer "What Do You Enjoy?" 09:44 Let's Dream — A Practical Exercise 12:00 Don't Let Your Toddler Feelings Drive the Car 15:00 The Dopamine Connection: Why We Numb Instead of Nourish 17:00 Transitions and the Soft Place to Land 19:09 My Seven-Year Wake-Up Call 21:00 Role Modelling a Balanced Life 22:30 Closing and Contact Links from today's episode: • Get in touch for 1:1 therapy • Dare to Lead Workshop Connect with Kimberly: • Connect on LinkedIn • Connect on Facebook • Connect on Instagram Related Episodes: • What Do You Really Want? • Are You Chronically Numbing? • The Lost Art of Gathering
May 20 · 28 min
69: What Confidence Really Looks Like (And Why Yours Might Be Armor)
Most of us want more confidence — but we're not always sure what that actually means. Some of the behaviours we associate with confidence, like arrogance, defensiveness, or endlessly proving ourselves, are actually armor. And armor, no matter how convincing it looks, is not the same as genuine, grounded confidence. In this episode, I'm breaking down what Brené Brown's research calls "grounded confidence" — the kind of self-worth that isn't about performance, bravado, or proving your value. It's about truly knowing who you are, sitting with the full human experience, and having the courage to show up anyway. As a psychologist, I've seen how much our level of confidence shapes everything: how we parent, how we lead, how we set boundaries, how we recover from mistakes, and whether we even try. The good news? Confidence isn't a fixed trait you either have or don't — it's a set of skills you can build. What you'll discover today: Why most of us are walking around with a "fragile self-worth" and how armored behaviours like defensiveness, arrogance, and indifference are actually signs of low confidence, not high. The difference between armor and grounded confidence, and why people can usually tell which one you're using. The 8 elements of grounded confidence, based on Brené Brown's research, including learning and improving, practicing courage, rumbling with vulnerability, staying curious, and practicing humility. Why confidence doesn't mean feeling 100% sure all the time, and how to build it gradually, starting with just 10% more of the time. How grounded confidence makes it easier to set boundaries, take risks, be vulnerable, and accept other people as they are. Why experience, not just mindset, is essential to building lasting confidence, and how small wins count. Why experience, not just mindset, is essential to building lasting confidence, and how small wins count. Timestamps: 00:00 Why We Want Confidence 02:10 The Socialization of Self-Worth 04:10 What Confidence Really Is (and Isn't) 06:00 Far Enemies: When Armor Looks Like Confidence 09:30 The 8 Elements of Grounded Confidence 09:45 Learning and Improving 10:30 The Language of Emotion 11:45 Practicing Courage 13:00 Rumbling with Vulnerability 14:10 Staying Curious 15:30 Practicing Humility 17:00 Committing to Mastery and Practice 18:30 Feeling Embodied and Connected 21:00 Confidence Grows with Experience 23:30 Letting Go of Outcomes 25:00 Closing and Contact Information Links from today's episode: • Dare to Lead Workshop Connect with Kimberly: • Connect on LinkedIn • Connect on Facebook • Connect on Instagram Related Episodes: 59: The Truth About Trust 60: Expect the Unexpected: Responding to Life's Curveballs 65: Body Image: The #1 Shame Trigger for Women 66: Are You Chronically Numbing?
#68
May 11 · 20 min
68: What Do You Really Want?
If I ask you what you want, you can probably rattle off a list: more time, less stress, a cleaner house, a vacation. But if I push past that and ask what you really want — the kind of life that actually lights you up — most women go quiet. That pause? It tells me everything. In this episode, I'm asking the question most of us have never taken the time to answer. We've built careers, raised families, kept everything running — and somewhere along the way, we stopped asking ourselves what we actually want. We were conditioned to believe that service and self-sacrifice were the path to happiness. And here we are, with everything we worked so hard for, still feeling like something's off. That's not a personal failing. That's a pattern — and it's one we can change. This episode walks you through why so many women in midlife feel this way, what's actually getting in the way (hint: it's guilt), and how to begin giving yourself permission to want more — without blowing up your life to get it. What you'll discover today: Why the life you built isn't broken — and why it still might not feel the way you expected it to How the messages we received growing up silently shaped the choices we made as adults The real reason women hold themselves back from asking for what they want (it's not laziness or ingratitude) Why guilt is the biggest obstacle standing between you and a more fulfilling life — and how to challenge the thoughts that fuel it The evolutionary and cultural forces that created the "double duty" burden so many women are carrying Practical, realistic ways to start making room for yourself — without neglecting the people and things that matter most Why filling your own cup isn't selfish — it's what makes you better at everything else Timestamps: 00:02 What Do You Want? 02:00 What We Dreamed About as Kids 03:20 How Outside Influences Shaped Our Choices 05:20 Why the Life We Built Doesn't Always Feel Like We Thought It Would 09:30 Service and Self-Sacrifice as a Path to Happiness 10:30 What We Really Want 12:30 Why Guilt Keeps Women Stuck 14:40 The Evolutionary Roots of the Double Duty Burden 16:50 The Solution: Permission 18:20 Practical Ways to Make Room for Yourself 20:00 Why This Is Necessary — For You and Everyone Around You Link from today's episode: Get in touch for 1:1 therapy Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram Related Episodes: 66: Are You Chronically Numbing 65: Shame 62: Stealth Expectations — The Hidden Cause of Stress, Resentment, and Conflict
#67
May 5 · 23 min
67: The Skills That Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Real Change Actually Happens
How do other people do it? It seems like there is a secret to creating lasting change that other people know, but is kept from us. Unlock the secret of what it really takes to learn something new and create lasting change. Our New Year's–style "all at once" efforts so often fail, and the skills that got us here won't get us to the next level. Real change is multi-layered, slower than we expect, and always tied to becoming a "new person" with new habits, mindsets, and priorities. Learn how to set more realistic expectations, focus on small sustainable steps, trust the process and create consistency with habits—so your future self can genuinely thank you. What you'll discover today: How unrealistic expectations about "quick change" create discouragement and quitting. The idea that the skills, habits, and mindset that got you here won't take you where you want to go next. Why New Year's–style overhauls fail and how "one bite at a time" actually works in real life. Hitting the goal and maintaining it long term require two different sets of skills and habits. Creating small, repeated actions, self-compassion, and support are the keys to making change stick. Timestamps: 01:05 What It Really Takes 03:30 Becoming Someone New 04:20 Keys to Change 06:05 Expectation Problems 09:49 All-or-Nothing Thinking 12:20 Achieving vs. Maintaining 14:10 Identity Shifts 20:40 Tenacity, Faith, and Belief 22:30 Redefining Success Connect with Kimberly: Get in touch Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#66
April 27 · 16 min
66: Stop Mindless Numbing: How to Choose Intentional Rest & Joy
Are You Chronically Numbing? We've all been there: exhausted, stressed out, and reaching for a quick hit of dopamine — whether it's scrolling, eating, or binge-watching Netflix. These are numbing behaviours, and they feel good because they take the edge off our uncomfortable feelings when life gets rough. The truth is, we've been conditioned in modern adulthood to prioritize productivity and success over our well-being. This leaves us with nothing at the end of the day or week, making numbing our only option. The big problem with numbing, though, is that you can't selectively numb emotions. When we numb the hurt, fear, or frustration, we also numb the joy, gratitude, and love. Now, I don't want you to get rid of numbing altogether, but I want to help you take control so you can intentionally choose when to use it, and have plenty of other healthy options for rest and play to truly help you de-stress and live in the moment. What you'll discover today: How to check if you're judging yourself when you rest, and recognize that taking care of yourself is essential, not just "nice" When to be mindful of when you're numbing (scrolling, eating, drinking) to stop letting your unconscious brain drive the bus Discover what you really need — if you're frustrated, address the problem; if you are tired, prioritize rest; if you're lonely, connect with others Changing chronic numbing habits starts with believing that your feelings and body needs are important throughout the day, not just when you have time A simple body scan strategy to help you check in on your needs and replace typical numbing behaviours with "net positive" activities Timstamps: 00:00 Why We Numb 02:20 Childhood Clues 04:48 The Cost of Numbing 05:48 Stop Self-Judgement 07:37 Notice Your Triggers 09:25 Meet the Real Need 11:37 Body Scan Check Ins 12:18 Choose Net Positive Comfort 14:56 Build a Sustainable Rhythm 16:23 Final Thoughts and Contact Connect with Kimberly: Get in touch Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#65
April 20 · 41 min
65: Body Image: The #1 Shame Trigger for Women
Quiet the Negative Chatter: Stopping the Body Shame and Building Healthy Habits When the weather turns warm and the winter layers come off, the shame around body image can feel overwhelming. I was shocked to read a 2011 Glamour Magazine study that found 97% of women have at least one "I hate my body" moment every single day. That constant, unconscious self-judgement consumes so much brain space and energy. In this episode, I share my journey of shifting focus from trying to look good to simply trying to feel good — strong, healthy, and functional — which I believe leads to a quality of life far more important than longevity. Hear about the mental shifts and practical, sustainable habits I personally have implemented over five years to quiet that negative narrative and redefine my own sense of self-worth. Key Takeaways: Acknowledge your self-talk: For one day, pay attention to every thought you have about your appearance and write it down. You can't change what you don't acknowledge. Compassion is the antidote to shame. Start paying attention to things you do like about your appearance and focus on non-physical traits like kindness, bravery, and hard work. Redefine beauty: Embrace radical self-acceptance and recognize that aging and body changes are a privilege. I realized I love the personality and confidence I have at 50 far more than the self-esteem I had in my twenties. Focus on consistency over quick fixes: Avoid extreme measures like juice cleanses and instead, implement small habits for several months until they become effortless. Prioritize strength over skinniness: The goal of new habits is health, not changes on the scale. Internal benefits, like better blood work, are often unobserved but vital. Timestamps: 00:00 Spring Awakening 01:11 Body Image Triggers 03:06 The Daily Shame Loop 08:01 Is It Serving You? 10:41 Aging With Perspective 12:30 From Looks To Health 15:31 Quiet The Inner Critic 18:25 Radical Self Acceptance 21:20 Consistency Over Quick Fixes 25:34 Habits That Actually Work 36:46 Trust The Long Game 41:19 Conclusion & Wrap Up Link from today's episode: Noom (App used for tracking protein) Oura Ring (Device used for tracking sleep quality) Amen Clinic (Resource for sleep supplements) Connect with Kimberly: Connect with Kimberly Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#64
April 13 · 19 min
64: "Un-Nesting": When Your College Kid Comes Back Home
Navigating the Return of Your College-Age Kid (Without Losing Your Mind) I was so focused on the heartbreaking transition of my daughter leaving for university that I completely failed to prepare for the shock of her coming back home. My house had gotten quieter, with less chaos and less mess, and I found it difficult, in an unexpected way, to welcome her back. When she returned for a couple of weeks over the holidays, the extra energy, mess, and schedule conflicts — like me going to bed early and her staying up late — made the adjustment a little jarring. This made me realize we can't just assume things will go back to the way they were, as everybody has changed. The goal of this phase is to avoid controlling their young adult lives and to shift our role to that of trusted allies and mentors. Key Takeaways: Hear about the three practical things I'm implementing to make the four-month summer transition smoother. Why we can't assume things will simply revert to the old way when a young adult child returns home, as everyone has changed, and not acknowledging this can be a recipe for disaster. How to initiate discussions before or immediately after they return to address everyone's fears and concerns, including those of their siblings. Ways to practice emotional tolerance during family discussions. How to rainstorm solutions to prioritize issues, remembering that this is a process of problem-solving and experimentation. The invitation to shift your parenting role to a trusted ally and mentor for your young adult. Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Empty Nest Discussion 00:31 Why Kids Move Back after College 01:15 Independence Then vs Now 03:55 Empty Nest Emotions 05:33 The Shock of Homecoming 06:09 Plan Ahead for Summer 08:25 Talk It Out First 11:15 Listen Without Fixing 13:17 Brainstorm and Experiment 14:24 Weekly Family Check Ins 16:44 Extra Parenting Resources 17:49 Mentoring Young Adults 19:45 Final Encouragement and Contact Link from today's episode: Dr. Becky's program and website, Good Inside Brené Brown's Parenting Manifesto Get in touch for 1:1 therapy Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#63
April 6 · 17 min
63: The 3-Step Formula for a Perfect Apology
How to Offer a Meaningful Apology and Repair Trust I recently received some feedback that got me thinking: what happens when we unintentionally hurt someone else's feelings? Our brains often trick us into believing that when someone hurts us, they did it deliberately. But in my experience as a psychologist, friend, and human, most of us will actually try to avoid hurting people at all costs. Even people we don't like. When someone tells me I've hurt them, nine times out of ten, I didn't even know it happened. When we're on the receiving end of hurt, though, it's common to want to lash out or shut down. However, to keep resentment from creeping in, it's important to address the issue quickly. This means making generous assumptions about the other person's intentions, because about 90% of the time, conflicts stem from misunderstandings that call for a conversation. On the flip side, what happens when we're the ones who offended someone? If you grew up as I did as a Gen-Xer, there were no role models for effective and genuine apologies. Issues were swept under the rug, and we learned to be defensive to avoid accountability. It's safe to say that most of us feel terrible knowing we've hurt someone and haven't tried to smooth things out. Even when a relationship feels damaged beyond repair, the other person is likely looking for you to attempt to repair it. There is a silver lining, too — the fact that they're upset means they care about you and the relationship. If apologizing is a skill you're working on (and it IS a skill we can all improve on), in this episode, you'll hear a helpful three-step process to making a great apology. Key Takeaways: Our brains often assume others hurt us intentionally, but usually, it's unintentional. Addressing conflict quickly can help prevent resentment from creeping into your relationships. When hurt, it's useful to make generous assumptions about the other person's intentions and then communicate your perspective. Being good at apologizing quickly increases trust and empathy in your relationships. Timestamps: 00:00 Why We Assume Intent 01:38 Speak Up Before Resentment Creeps In 02:46 Misunderstanding Vs. Boundaries 04:48 When You Hurt Someone 04:56 Why Apologies Feel Hard 07:36 Why It's a Good Thing They're Upset 08:30 Three-Step Apology Process 09:57 Strategies for Staying Calm 11:41 Keeping Your Apology Clear 12:19 Examples That Defuse Anger 14:06 Growth And Better Relationships 15:29 Teach Repair To Others 16:59 Closing And Contact Information Link from today's episode: Get in touch for 1:1 therapy Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#62
March 23 · 12 min
62: Stealth Expectations: The Hidden Cause of Stress, Resentment, and Conflict
Stop Stressing: How to Identify and Manage Your Unconscious Expectations I was thinking about how much of our daily stress is really caused by "stealth expectations"—those unconscious expectations we don't communicate, which often lead to disappointment and conflict. I love to call them "stealth expectations" because we don't even realize we have them, yet they drive our behaviour. The thing is, they're often associated with perfectionism and the desire to control circumstances, all so we can avoid feeling uncomfortable. You've probably had the thought yourself that "they should just know" what you're thinking. But people aren't psychic and don't have the same information, thought process, or upbringing that we do. As Buddha would say, "peace begins when expectations end." To reduce frustration, I encourage you to determine your expectations before attending any meeting or family gathering. Then, if you find yourself frustrated, I encourage you to reality check that expectation: Is it realistic, or is it only something that could happen in a perfect world? The real key is managing our own feelings, teaching our nervous systems to relax, and keeping an open mind. What you'll learn today: Discover how stealth expectations can lead to resentment, disappointment, and conflict. How to identify the root cause underneath these unconscious expectations — they often stem from perfectionism and the desire to control people or circumstances. Remembering that what's obvious to you is not obvious to others. A simple strategy to pre-plan your expectations before an event, conversation, or meeting to minimize frustration. How to check your reality and communicate your expectations. A simple technique to tell your brain that you're safe when you feel activated. Timestamps: 00:00 Stealth Expectations 01:07 Why Resentment Builds 02:32 The Mind Reading Myth 03:44 Spot Expectations Early 05:43 Hockey Ref Example 07:10 Reality Check Them 07:29 Say It Out Loud 08:32 Self Soothe Discomfort 09:34 Breathe Before Reacting 10:40 Open Mind And Worthiness 11:42 Closing And Contact Link from today's episode: Get in touch for 1:1 therapy Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram Related Episodes: 59: The Truth About Trust 58: Oversharing vs. True Vulnerability 54: How Unrealistic Expectations Lead to Burnout
#61
March 9 · 19 min
61: Why Adult Friendships are a Lost Art
The Lost Art of Gathering I've been thinking a lot about connection lately—it was actually my New Year's resolution. As we get older and busier, our friendships can suffer, and many of us are starting to ask, "Where are my people?" This week's episode was inspired by my decision to throw my husband a surprise 50th birthday party (shhhh, it's next week), and the realization that many of us, myself included, have forgotten how to simply gather at home outside of kids' birthday parties. I miss the impromptu gatherings when, as a kid, my family would have neighbors drop in for coffee or host bridge nights. There seemed to be many reasons to get the village together. When I dug into some of the research for this episode, I uncovered sobering statistics on our social habits and just how lonely many of us are — especially among 15-24-year-olds. We know that it takes a village to raise a family, and I can't help but wonder whether we're placing the responsibility for an entire village on our partners' and kids' shoulders. Are we expecting our immediate families to fulfill all our needs? Since this is something I'm focused on improving this year, I share my personal tips for making socializing a priority and for hosting simple, low-pressure gatherings. The point isn't perfection; it's simply getting together. Discover: Why our brains are hardwired for belonging, and why social support is as important as work and family. How half of people report feeling moderate to severe loneliness, and the loneliest age group is 15-24-year-olds. The problem with expecting your partner and kids to fill all your social needs puts too much emphasis on just a few relationships — we were designed to need a village to thrive. Tips to make gatherings a priority by creating time for socializing, saying no to things you don't enjoy, and delegating tasks like housework. Ways to keep get-togethers simple and instead of stressing over a perfect house or elaborate menu, order takeout, ask guests to contribute, and plan ahead so you can enjoy your own party. Why you should take the risk and host an impromptu get-together and invite new neighbors or friends over as a low-pressure way to build community. Timestamps: 00:00 Why Friends Matter 01:27 A Fun Surprise 50th Birthday Party Plan 03:34 Have Adults Forgotten How to Gather? 04:55 What Changed After Becoming Parents and COVID? 07:41 Loneliness Stats and Social Support 10:38 Guilt and The Need for Connection 12:00 Make Socializing a Priority 13:42 Hosting Made Simple 14:56 Plan Ahead and Ask for Help 16:43 Neighborhood Party Success Story 18:33 Take the Risk and Wrap Up Link from today's episode: Get in touch for 1:1 therapy Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram Related Episodes: 54: How Unrealistic Expectations Lead to Burnout 53: The Anti-Overwhelm Formula: 3 Steps for an Easier Life 58: Oversharing vs. True Vulnerability
#60
March 2 · 21 min
60: Expect the Unexpected: Responding to Life's Curveballs
The 3 Steps to Overcoming Setbacks What do you do when things don't go as planned? This, unfortunately, seems to be our new normal lately. We invest so much time and energy into planning — from our careers to our families to when we'll retire. The things we can't really plan for? The inevitable setbacks, accidents, or illnesses. I used to think resilience was something people either had or didn't, or that it was cultivated through hardships. But what I've learned is that success comes from failing often and not quitting. Michael Jordan famously shared about how many game-winning shots he missed and how many games he's lost. This illustrates the whole point — failure isn't a sign that there's something inherently wrong with us; it's a lesson containing valuable information for us. The key to not letting setbacks take us out of the game is determination and the ability to reset. That's where Brené Brown's Rising Strong Process comes in. I break down the three crucial steps to help you respond as your best self instead of freezing, reacting defensively, or quitting: The Reckoning (Walk into Your Story): Learn to notice when you're triggered. Identify the body sensation, name the emotion, and pause. We can train ourselves out of the primitive fight, flee, freeze, or fawn responses. The Rumble (Own Your Story): Our brain loves to make up stories to fill in the gaps! Writing down the story you're telling yourself (without a filter) is a useful exercise. The Revolution (Integrate the Learning): This is where you put the learning into practice, like regularly giving people the benefit of the doubt and getting curious before getting angry. With Rising Strong skills, you'll be prepared for the unknown and trust that, no matter what happens, you can handle it. When things don't go your way, it just means you have a new problem to solve and a new lesson to learn. You can do this! In this episode, discover: Why we need to expect the unexpected and understand that setbacks and curveballs are normal. Make plans, but also prepare the skills to be resilient. How failure is a key part of the learning process. Practical strategies to slow down your reaction, including naming the emotion, taking a breath, and pausing before jumping to a reaction you'll regret later. A simple technique to help you challenge your own stories to show you where you may be making assumptions. A simple mindset shift — believing that other people are doing their best — can make your life and relationships better. The common fear under our initial reactions to mistakes. Timestamps: 00:00 When Plans Fall Apart 01:21 Why Resilience Matters 02:50 Failure Builds Greatness 04:52 Rising Strong Overview 06:20 Expecting the Unexpected 07:48 Step One: The Reckoning 10:11 Step Two: The Rumble 13:41 Rewriting our Story 15:48 Step Three: The Revolution 20:50 Being Prepared 21:31 Next Steps to Build Resilience Links from today's episode: Dare to Lead Workshop Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#59
February 23 · 28 min
59: The Truth About Trust
The BRAVING Checklist: 7 Research-Backed Ways to Assess Trust Today, we're diving deep into the Dare to Lead skill set of trust. As I talk about in the episode, one of the worst things I could ever hear is, "I don't trust you". Ouch, that's a gut punch! It's interesting to consider how few people we truly trust, which often comes from not knowing what actually creates and breaks trust. I get into the heart of the matter: trust is not inherent — it's earned. Leaders, politicians, teachers, CEOs, and even ourselves can be delusional in assuming people should trust us without demonstrating trustworthiness. When trust is low, our stress skyrockets, and we don't feel safe enough to be vulnerable, take risks, or be creative. We even stop trusting ourselves if we realize we've trusted the wrong people. The good news? We can learn how trust is built and broken. I introduce the seven elements of trust using the acronym BRAVING: B - Boundaries R - Reliability A - Accountability V - The Vault I - Integrity N - Non-judgment G - Generosity We also discuss how to rebuild trust after it's broken, which always starts with recognizing the mistake, being accountable, and making amends. This is how we can turn hurt into a deeper connection. This can really help you build lasting relationships. In this episode, discover: Trust is not a given and is achieved in small ways that leave a lasting impact. The seven elements of trust using the acronym BRAVING: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, and Generosity. People will respect you more when you're clear and kind about your boundaries rather than being a people-pleaser. Reliability issues often stem from underestimating how much time things take or saying "yes" when you actually mean no. Nothing erodes culture faster than seeing people get away with things without accountability. Trust is built gradually: start with a little trust, then a little vulnerability, and increase both over time. Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Trust Topic Introduction 00:55 Why Trust Feels Risky 02:35 Trust Must Be Earned 04:09 Low Trust and Its Costs 05:38 Trust Breaks and Repairs 08:04 BRAVING Framework Overview 08:15 B- Boundaries Build Trust 12:46 R- Reliability Do What You Say 14:58 A- Accountability and Culture 15:52 V- The Vault No Gossip 17:37 I- Integrity and N- Nonjudgment 20:42 G- Generosity and Slow Trust 24:03 Self Trust and Red Flags 28:31 Wrap Up Links from today's episode: Dare to Lead Workshop Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#58
February 16 · 30 min
58: Oversharing vs. True Vulnerability
Today, I'm continuing our conversation about what makes us great leaders by diving into the concept of vulnerability. We often think of vulnerability as a weakness, but it's actually a measure of courage and strength. As a leader, whether at work, with my family, or in my community, I'm required to lean into this discomfort and share vulnerably. But it's important to note that there's a difference between vulnerability and plain oversharing. Sharing everything with everyone is oversharing. It's not actually necessary to be fully exposed to be vulnerable, and as a psychologist, I would advise against it. Instead, we should be deliberate about what we share and with whom. Building trust takes time, and not everyone will earn it. When you share your ideas or opinions publicly, you risk inviting criticism from people you don't know. The fear of being judged is a natural deterrent our brains use to discourage this. At the same time, being vulnerable sparks joy, creativity, love, and belonging. We need to be vulnerable to experience the best parts of life, so if we can bravely ease into supportive spaces, we become more comfortable with discomfort and build tolerance for risk. In this episode, discover: Why you're actually a leader, even if you don't hold the title — it's influence that makes you one. How I use vulnerability as a parent to connect with my children's emotions and guide them as they grow. How to avoid a vulnerability hangover—that feeling of worry after putting yourself out there—and discover my technique for giving self-compassion when it happens. My guidelines for discerning between vulnerability and oversharing, and why I err on the side of caution to protect my mental health. Why self-confidence is a crucial pre-requisite to being vulnerable, and how I developed mine by taking risks. The powerful paradox of vulnerability: it can feel terrible, but it looks like strength to others. Timestamps: 00:00 Leadership Isn't Just a Title: Influence in Everyday Life 01:16 Why Vulnerability Matters for High-Performing Leaders 01:43 Vulnerability in Real Life: Social Media, Speaking & Parenting 05:19 Letting Others Struggle: Building Resilience Instead of Fixing 07:04 The Vulnerability Hangover & Practicing Self-Compassion 09:13 Vulnerability vs. Oversharing: What to Share, When, and With Whom 14:57 Confidence as the Foundation: How It's Built Over Time 19:34 The Vulnerability Paradox: It Feels Like Weakness, Looks Like Strength 22:04 Handling Criticism & Choosing the Right Audience for Your Story 26:00 Myths, Emotions, and Connection: Why Vulnerability Makes Better Leaders 30:29 Closing + Invitation: Dare to Lead Workshops (2026) Links from today's episode: Dare to Lead Workshop Connect with Kimberly: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#57
February 9 · 18 min
57: Dare to Lead: Why Defining Your Values is a Game-Changer
In this episode, we're diving back into the Dare to Lead framework, focusing on the crucial step of defining our values. Before taking the Dare to Lead workshop myself, I honestly thought knowing my values was just interesting knowledge, like an Enneagram or a personality test. But I quickly learned how profoundly life-changing it can be. We often walk through life just reacting—getting mad in traffic, yelling at our kids over a mess, or feeling overwhelmed when someone calls us for help. We feel as if we're out of control, simply reacting to life. But the truth is, we all have values, and they may be unconsciously driving our thoughts and feelings. Getting clear on them — and narrowing them down to just your top two — is an absolute game-changing tool for figuring out what direction to take when life throws challenges at us. Values show us who we want to be. I'll walk you through the process to narrow your values down to just two or three. Once you've identified your core values, you can create a system to make the best choice with the information you have in just about any situation. You'll also hear a personal example of how applying my values of authenticity and generosity transformed a common reaction (passive-aggression or blame) into an intentional response (getting curious, having a conversation, and problem-solving). Holding strong values helps us build trust and connection not only with others but also with ourselves. Key Takeaways Values are life-changing tools that help you figure out how to make tough choices and face hard things in ways you're proud of. Narrowing values down to your top two makes decision-making much clearer and less confusing, also preventing decision fatigue. Identifying values by thinking about qualities you admire in others and qualities that frustrate you can help you narrow down your own list. Learning to use values to respond to conflict can help you solve problems and build trust, rather than gossiping or reacting in anger. Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to Dare to Lead & Values Work 00:14 The Importance of Defining Values 01:26 Real-Life Applications of Values 08:12 The Process of Identifying Your Values 12:01 Making Decisions Based on Values 18:06 Conclusion and Invitation to Dare to Lead Links from today's episode: Dare to Lead Workshop Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#56
February 2 · 21 min
56: How to Know If You're a Great Leader
In this episode, we're diving into a topic many leaders struggle with … truly knowing if you're doing a good job. We all have blind spots, and what we think a great leader is — someone who has all the answers and never makes mistakes. These are common myths we tell ourselves. The truth is, poor leadership usually happens outside of our awareness. You'll hear how self-awareness is essential for great leadership. That means having the courage to genuinely ask for feedback from your team, family, and community. We also discuss the fear of looking stupid or incompetent, and how that shame can lead us to react defensively. Finally, I discuss how the skills taught in the Dare to Lead framework — like getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, managing shame, and using conflict to build trust — can be game-changers for your leadership . The good news is that as a leader, no one expects you to be perfect; you only have to be willing to work on any problem spots. Knowing is always better than not knowing, because you can't change what you don't acknowledge. Join me to learn the skills you need to show up as the brave, authentic leader your team and family need. Key Takeaways Poor leadership often stems from a lack of awareness of how you're impacting others and the organization. To be a great leader, you need to proactively cultivate self-awareness. Great leaders are willing not only to receive feedback but to ask for it directly from others, and truly listen to the response. Everyone has problem spots, blind spots, and weak areas. Acknowledging and working on them earns respect and improves your effectiveness. You can only change what you acknowledge. Ignoring problems won't make them go away — it keeps things stuck and can make it worse. Learning to manage feelings of shame (e.g., the fear of being perceived as incompetent), you can move from an emotional, reactive state to a calm, intentional response. Why conflict and adversity should be viewed as opportunities to build relationships and bond with your team, acting as a "fast forward" on building trust and confidence. Great leaders face setbacks head-on and bravely lead their teams through change without excessive drama, anxiety, or stress, and I hope this episode helps you get curious about how you can be a stronger leader. Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to Leadership 01:15 Identifying Good Leadership 02:39 Self-Awareness in Leadership 04:25 The Fear of Feedback 07:57 Research on Effective Leadership 10:26 The Importance of Self-Assessment 11:55 The Dare to Lead Workshop 14:11 Embracing Feedback and Building Trust 20:11 Handling Setbacks and Moving Forward 21:04 Conclusion and Workshop Invitation Links from today's episode: Dare to Lead Workshop Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#55
January 26 · 27 min
55: Why Every Human Needs the Dare to Lead Workshop
Life Skills Everyone Thinks They Should Know (But Were Never Taught) In this episode, I dive into the profound impact of the Dare to Lead Certificate Workshop. Honestly, the title is misleading. After facilitating this workshop for hundreds of people, I get piles of feedback sharing that it was the best training they've ever attended. I think the workshop should truly be called "life skills everyone should know." You'll hear how I've redefined leadership, realizing it isn't exclusive to those who hold titles like CEO or manager. Really, a leader is anyone who influences others, including parents, friends, family members, and community leaders. One problem I see with many in leadership positions is that they think they need to be perfect. Which, really, is just the desire to be loved and accepted. But when leaders are afraid to make mistakes, it can stop them from taking risks, lead to overworking, and cause burnout. The Dare to Lead foundation rests on Brené Brown's prior core books: I Thought It was Just Me, which addresses common human struggles we think we face alone; Gifts of Imperfection, which focuses on overcoming perfectionism; Daring Greatly, which encourages being "all in" and living life without regret; and Rising Strong, which teaches the skill of resetting quickly when things don't go as planned. Ultimately, the workshop teaches the mental toughness and courage required to address disruptive issues, have hard conversations, and make tough choices. A core lesson I took away from doing this work was developing grounded confidence where my worth is never on the line. Leaders are made — and leadership is a skill everyone can master. Key takeaways: Leadership is about influence, not just titles — if people look to you for support, mentoring, or answers, you're a leader. The Dare to Lead workshop teaches essential life skills in courage, empathy, and decision-making aligned with your values (the workshop helps you get clear on your values, too) Perfectionism is a barrier that prevents us from taking risks and leads to burnout Effective leaders manage their own emotions and address issues directly, even when it's uncomfortable, earning respect over the need for popularity. Building and repairing trust is a critical, teachable skill for team success and psychological safety. Resetting quickly when facing challenges is key — so learn how to bounce back fast Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to the Dare to Lead Workshop 00:57 Understanding Leadership Beyond Titles 02:08 Brené Brown's Influential Books 04:33 Embracing Imperfection and Taking Risks 07:53 Handling Feedback and Rising Strong 08:47 The Essence of Dare to Lead 22:27 Building Trust and Psychological Safety 26:45 Conclusion and Invitation to the next Dare to Lead Workshop Links from today's episode: Sign up for the next Dare to Lead Workshop Connect with me: Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#54
January 19 · 22 min
54: How Unrealistic Expectations Lead to Burnout
Have you ever felt frustrated because a change in your life is happening more slowly than you think it should? I've worked with countless women, and have gone through it myself, where we're making progress, but our minds tell us it's not enough or not fast enough. Then, we wind up frustrated and quit, or we end up in a cycle of overwhelm and burnout. Many of the women I work with even end up taking stress leave from their jobs. The reason: we hold ourselves to unrealistic standards. How many times have you experienced a full weekend and thought you should be ready to bounce back on Monday morning? Needed a vacation from your vacation? Or starting to come down with a cold, only to end up sicker for way longer than usual? In this episode, I dive into why we expect our bodies to bounce back in a week when it took years to get to a point of exhaustion. You'll learn about what can help — like setting clear boundaries, normalizing rest, and no longer sacrificing your time for your employer's problems. You'll also hear about how my own healing from burnout took far longer than I expected, plus the crucial mindset shift that helped me rebuild my life with good habits. Listen, we're not productivity machines — we're human beings. Today, I invite you to explore how we can swap self-criticism for self-compassion, prioritize our well-being, and adjust our expectations to create real, lasting healing. Key Takeaways: Why we need to be patient with progress. Change often happens more slowly than we expect. Just because our brains can make a quick decision doesn't mean our bodies have caught up yet. How sneaky, unrealistic expectations can fuel burnout — often leaving us feeling more tired after a break than before. Suggestions for setting clear boundaries and protecting your time and energy. Specific, helpful thoughts to adopt, such as "it takes as long as it takes to feel better." Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Slow Progress 02:42 The Impact of Unrealistic Expectations 05:04 The Harmful Cycle of Overwork 06:39 Setting Boundaries and Normalizing Rest 08:34 The Guilt of Taking Time Off 10:46 Understanding the Need for Extended Recovery 15:42 Creating a Supportive Mindset for Healing 20:48 Conclusion: Adjusting Expectations for a Healthier Life Connect with me: Schedule a free 20-minute consultation Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram
#53
January 12 · 22 min
53: The Anti-Overwhelm Formula: 3 Steps for an Easier Life
I know how overwhelming and difficult life can seem when we jump back into our routines and schedules after the holidays. We often think of vacations as the only true rest, but what if we could make our everyday lives feel easier? I believe we are often making our own lives harder than they need to be. In this episode, I share my three-step plan for creating a simpler life. Effectively, it's the "anti-overwhelm formula. What you'll hear about today: How to challenge the belief that everything you do is important — our day-to-day lives are not an emergency room situation. Strategies to identify and let go of at least one thing that's draining you. Why complaining about recurring problems doesn't help — instead, they need to go to the top of our to-do lists — saving stress and struggle in the future. Simple ideas to help you automate parts of your routine. Why investing just a little time in planning can help you avoid struggle later. Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction: Overcoming Life's Overwhelm 02:12 How the Illusion of Importance Creates Overwhelm 06:50 Addressing Recurring Stressors 14:50 Making Life Easier: Practical Tips 20:46 Conclusion: Proactive Living Connect with me: Schedule a free 20-minute consultation Connect on LinkedIn Connect on Facebook Connect on Instagram

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