The Hook Up

triplej

The Hook Up is about love, sex and relationships. We answer your questions, learn things together, cry over heartbreak and normalise shit. Every Tuesday Dee and Pip debate your dating dilemmas and hear your cooked stories. Every Thursday it's the sex ed you never had — we call on an expert to go deep and find answers with Dee.

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26 episodes
a few times a week
Avg 37 min
English

Episodes 26

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Wednesday · 32 min
Investigative Journalist By Day Sex Worker By Night w/ Benson Siebert
After being made redundant from his dream job as an investigative journalist, Bension Siebert turned to sex work to make money and surprised himself by how much he enjoyed it. In this ep, Bension chats to Dee about ‘coming out’ with his new profession, the reaction online and what he’s learnt about the industry. SHOW NOTES: Bension’s Cheek Article - https://cheekmedia.substack.com/p/how-sex-work-saved-my-investigative Bension’s IG - https://www.instagram.com/bensionfindsout/ DM us your
Monday · 41 min
“Opposites Attract” But Do They Make Good Partners?
We all know the phrase but does dating someone who’s completely different to you actually work? In this ep, we hear your stories of dating people who are opposite in lifestyle, interests and core values, compared to people who’ve dated similar - and find out if compatibility can work both ways. SHOW NOTES: Why Do Opposites Attract? https://www.verywellmind.com/is-it-true-that-opposites-attract-in-relationships-5194818 Global study on opposites do not attract: https://www.psypost.org/why-opp
August 26 · 25 min
How To Heal After Heartbreak
Going through heartbreak can be one of the most painful experiences and sometimes those break up scars don’t leave - when you start dating again. So in this ep, we chat to Dr Marny Lishman about the walls we put up after being hurt, how to heal and trust in love again. SHOW NOTES: Break Up Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac0wdFkrIUA Dr Marny Lishman - https://www.marnylishman.com.au/ Only You: The Unexpected Gift Of Being Alone - https://www.marnylishman.com.au/books DM
August 24 · 46 min
What’s The Best Way To Get Over An Ex?
We can all agree that break ups are a universally shit experience, whether it’s a long term relationship or situationship. In this episode we’re unpacking all the challenges and questions you have - should you go no contact? How long should you wait before hooking up with someone new? Are my friends sick of hearing about my heartbreak? And can a break up actually be a good thing for ~personal development~? SHOW NOTES Breakup Glowup - https://www.tiktok.com/@yourfree_therapy/video/7534079578067
August 19 · 22 min
The Rise Of Spicy BookTok w/ Tierney Page
There are millions of posts on TikTok all about ‘spicy books’ and someone who’s become famous for reviewing them is author and content creator Tierney Page. In this ep, she chats about why she thinks there’s been a massive rise in people reading and posting about romantasy and smut, her fav tropes and genres and her journey to becoming an author. SHOW NOTES: watch our romantasy ep with Esme Louise James here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXKoC94haC4 Tierney Page TikTok here - https://w
August 17 · 59 min
Why Are We So Obsessed With Romantasy?
Whether you have or haven’t read books like Heated Rivalry, A Court of Thorns and Roses or Fourth Wing, you can’t deny the rise in smutty literature. In 2025 romantasy and sports romance experienced triple-digit growth. But there’s been some criticism around how DR and romantasy books often glamourise SA and are too accessible for young readers. In today’s episode Dee is joined by guest co-host Esme James, a sex historian and author, to discuss why we’re all so obsessed with fantasy smut.
August 12 · 29 min
How To Support A Loved One With Addiction
Whether it’s drugs, alcohol, or gambling - addiction can be one of the hardest things to navigate in a relationship. In this episode we chat to clinical psychologist Donna Stambulich about her experience with amphetamine addiction, the impact it has on relationships and how to best support your partner or loved one. SHOW NOTES: Lifeline - 13 11 14 Donna Stambulich - https://nppsych.com.au/our-psychologists Recode Me - https://recode-me.com.au/ Episode with Luke Bateman on Gambling - ht
August 10 · 52 min
When Your Love Life Is Affected By Gambling
What’s the bet you or someone you know has been affected by gambling? Probably pretty high. Around 3 million Australians experience some sort of gambling harm each year. And 1.2 million Australians are affected by someone else's gambling. And it can have a real impact on your dating or love life. In today’s episode we speak with Luke Bateman, ex-NRL star turned author, about his past addiction and tips on reaching the other side. SHOW NOTES: Lifeline - 13 11 14 Gambling Helpline -
August 5 · 32 min
Chem Sex Parties & Gay Pain w/ Fruit Fly Author Josh Silver
Who has the right to tell queer stories and profit off them? That’s the main theme author Josh Silver explores in his latest book Fruit Fly. The book follows a writer who befriends a young gay addict so she can use his story to write a best seller. In this ep, Dee chats to Josh about his own story as an ex addict, the world of chem sex parties, and why it’s important to share perspectives of gay pain and trauma. SHOW NOTES: Lifeline: 13 11 14 QLife: https://qlife.org.au/ Josh Silver IG:
August 3 · 42 min
Are You Worried You’re Too Vanilla In Sex?
Have you ever felt pressure to have a certain kind of sex? Sex positivity has been an incredible movement which has normalised and destigmatised adventurous, kinky and casual sex. But has that come at a cost? In this ep, we’re joined by guest co-host psychologist and sexologist Laura Lee to unpack whether sex positivity and hook up culture has created a new type of pressure and expectation to perform. SHOW NOTES: A women’s right to say ‘meh’ - https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/oc
July 31 · 33 min
BONUS: We've decided to stop sharing a bed (w/ Dee Salmin!)
Surprise! We've got a Saturday Bonus ep for you! You probably heard all about Ben Ilobuchi's situationship troubles in this weeks episode. But did you hear the beef? Dee becomes The Grill's first guest to sear some rogue relationship-specific beefs like ghosting, the ick, and having to sleep in a bed with your partner. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is
July 29 · 22 min
How To Have The ‘What Are We?’ Chat w/ Erika Ettin
If you’re dating, hooking up with, talking to, or seeing someone but you don’t know where things are going and you don’t know how to bring it up… Dating coach and author Erika Ettin has got you! In this ep, she has some tough love for anyone in a situationship, and will help you have the exclusive/relationship chat. SHOW NOTES: Situationship Ep: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17Qr9ovC2N0 Erika Ettin Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alittlenudge/?hl=en DM us your thoughts, questio
July 27 · 56 min
What The Hell Is A Situationship? And Am I In One?
Are you dating or hooking up with someone right now and you’re not really sure what’s going on? It feels like a relationship but you’ve never had the ‘exclusive chat’. You might be in a situationship… In this episode Dee is joined by guest co-host Ben Ilobuchi to unravel the relationship limbo. Show notes: Deding and Describing Situationships: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/378872949_Defining_and_Describing_Situationships_An_Exploratory_Investigation World Health Org: https
July 22 · 30 min
How To Stop Self-Sabotaging w/ Dr Rebecca Ray
Have you noticed a pattern in your love life of ending things when a relationship starts to get serious? Or maybe you pick a fight, or ghost people or never commit to a second date. In this ep we chat to psychologist Dr Rebecca Ray about why we can sometimes self-sabotage and how to break that cycle. SHOW NOTES: Dr Rebecca Ray - https://rebeccaray.com.au/ DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an
July 20 · 48 min
Is Having A Type Problematic?
Whether it’s someone’s personality, physical attributes, career or aesthetic - sometimes we lean into a “type” of person who we’re attracted to and want to date. But can it ever be discriminatory, fetishisation or limiting to potential relationships? We hear your hot takes and discuss with special guest host Lauren French.
July 15 · 31 min
Life As An Asexual Icon w/ Allie Daisy King
As much as we talk about sex on The Hook Up, for some people they have absolutely no interest in it. That’s what it’s like for writer, fashion girly, podcast host of Booksmart AND asexual baddie Allie Daisy King. In this ep Dee chat’s to Allie about her sexuality journey realising she was ace, what it’s like to live in a world that’s so obsessed with hooking up and dating and why she still loves to read romantasy and smut books. SHOW NOTES: Allie’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allieda
July 13 · 42 min
What Are Your Relationship ‘Hacks’?
Doing the crossword together every week, writing letters to each other, mandatory date nights, surprise gifts, a commitment to a yearly getaway, and sleeping in separate beds. Whether you’re only a few months in, or years deep - we all have ways to keep the relationship vibes high and healthy. In this ep, we hear your hacks, tricks, rules and methods, to keep your relationship thriving. SHOW NOTES: Harvard University research on importance of Rituals: https://www.library.hbs.edu/working-kno
July 8 · 33 min
Harrison James on Love And Healing After Child Sexual Abuse
Studies show that nearly 30% of Australians have experienced child sexual abuse - a horrific stat that award-winning activist and co-founder of the #YourReferenceAintRelevant campaign - Harrison James has been trying to change. In this ep, Dee chats to Harri about his activism, his survival of child sexual abuse and what’s helped with healing. As well as what he’s learnt from being in a loving and healthy relationship with his fiance Bella Johnston who actually joins us in the studio too! SHO
July 6 · 44 min
Is It Ok To Date Your Friend’s Ex?
Hooking up with your mate’s ex might be one of the biggest violations in a friendship. But is it totally black and white, or are there some grey areas? We hear your hot takes and stories - from you giving your blessing to friends hiding the relationship, and when pursuing the ex has damaged friendships beyond repair and earnt you the nickname sloppy seconds. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is
July 1 · 25 min
What Is PrEP? And Should I be Taking It?
When you hear about HIV you might think of the AIDs epidemic during the 80s. But so much has changed since then, including the invention of a prevention drug called PrEP. So how does it work? And is it just for gay men? In this chat with Professor Andrew Grulich who’s the head of a HIV Epidemiology and Prevention program, we find out everything you need to know about Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. SHOW NOTES: Professor Andrew Grulich - https://www.unsw.edu.au/staff/andrew-grulich https://www.k

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