The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast

The Art, Heart, and Science of EFT

The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast explores the art, heart, and science of EFT. Hosted by EFT Trainers Michael Barnett and Silvina Irwin and EFT Supervisor Michael Preston, each episode offers deep insights and real conversations for therapists learning and leaning into EFT.

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September 9 · 48 min
The Supervision Tapes w/ EFT Trainer Sandra Taylor
EFT externships, LGBTQ+ therapy, and dementia: What therapists need to know! Michael Preston talks with Sandra Taylor of the British Emotionally Focused Therapy Center about what makes EFT externships powerful in person, how to prepare for a four-day training, and what therapists often miss when working with LGBTQ+ couples. Sandra also shares deeply personal, clinically rich reflections on working with couples facing dementia, including grief, connection, and the idea of “rementing.” To Join Sandra, Sarah, and Michael along with the rest of the BEFT Centre Training team in Edinburgh visit: https://www.beftcentre.org/efct-in-person-edinburgh-oct-2026/ To learn more about working with Michael Preston for supervision visit www.michaelprestonlpc.comDon't forget to follow The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcast.Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
August 25 · 1 hr 1 min
The Supervision Tapes w/ Laurie Watson
Michael Preston talks with Laurie Watson about why sex belongs in couples therapy from the very first session, how sexual and emotional cycles intersect, and how attachment shapes desire, vulnerability, and repair. Laurie shares a practical EFT lens for understanding sexual pursuer-withdrawer patterns, coercion, shame, affair recovery, and how therapists can normalize sexual conversation without taking over the couple’s work. To Preorder Laurie and George's new book Brave Love, Great Sex visit https://www.amazon.com/Brave-Love-Great-Sex-Relationships/dp/B0G7CTTFTK To learn more about working with Michael Preston for supervision visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com Don't forget to follow The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcast.
August 11 · 56 min
The Supervision Tapes w/Kelly Bourque!
EFT Intensives with Kelly Bourque Michael Preston talks with Kelly Bourque, resident EFT intensive specialist, about how to screen couples, structure EFT intensives, and decide whether this model is the right fit for a therapist or a couple. Kelly shares the practical systems she has refined over years of doing intensives full time, plus the pacing, safety, and follow-up work that make the model effective.In this episode, they focus on what actually changes in an intensive, what does not change, and why clarity matters more than trying to force a breakthrough. Kelly also explains how her training and e-course help therapists prepare with paperwork, consult structure, and realistic expectations. To learn more about attending Kelly's EFT intensives trainings visit www.RedTherapyGroup.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
July 28 · 43 min
The Supervision Tapes W/ Katharina Sandizell
In this episode of the Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast, Michael Preston and Katarina Sandizell explore the nuances of integrating psychoeducation within EFT sessions while maintaining emotional engagement. They discuss strategies for therapists to stay authentic, avoid over-explaining, and foster client vulnerability—all while navigating their own personal and attachment patterns. LINKS To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in September, Go to: www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango To learn about working with Katarina visit www.lovefrontiertherapy.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
July 14 · 47 min
The Supervision Tape W/ Matthew Harris
Navigating EFT with the LGBTQIA+ Community: Insights from Matthew HarrisIn this episode, Michael Preston is joined by Matthew Harris, an EFT supervisor with a rich background in working with LGBTQIA+ clients. They explore how EFT can be adapted to better serve sexual and gender minority populations, emphasizing authenticity, curiosity, and cultural humility. Whether you're new to this community or seeking to deepen your practice, this conversation offers practical insights and inspiring reflections. LINKS To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in September, Go to: www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango To learn about working with Matthew Harris visit www.matthewharrismft.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
June 30 · 58 min
The Supervision Tapes w/Dr. Lisa Blum
Breaking Down Barriers: Integrating Sexuality & EFT — An Expert Conversation. In this discussion, Lisa Blum shares her insights on how EFT therapists can confidently incorporate discussions of sex and intimacy into their practice. We explore practical strategies for normalizing conversations around sexuality, addressing desire discrepancies, and enhancing relational safety in therapy. LINKS To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in JULY, Go to: www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango To learn about Lisa and Sil's Hold Me Tight Weekend or working with Dr. Blum as a Supervisor visit www.drlisablum.com https://www.eftresourcecenter.com/ As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
June 16 · 48 min
The Supervision Tapes w/ Sarah McConnell
Navigating Family Dynamics and Therapist Self-Care in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)In this insightful episode, Michael Preston and EFT trainer Sarah McConnell explore the nuances of working with family systems, shifting from couple to family therapy, and maintaining therapist resilience. This conversation offers practical frameworks and reflections for therapists seeking to deepen their understanding and effectiveness in EFT.Main Topics: Transitioning from couples to family therapy: hierarchy vs. equality Stages of EFFT and their focus on caregiver availability and child blocks Validating behaviors in family sessions: tracking and understanding responses Managing self-awareness and self-care as a therapist in complex sessions Simplifying EFT process for ongoing growth and managing messy sessions Recognizing and working with pursuer and withdrawer cycles Building secure attachment through responsive caregiving Resources and upcoming trainings in EFT and EFFT models Sarah shares her perspective on shifting from couple to family models and the importance of understanding stages in EFFT Discussion on how attachment principles underpin family work, emphasizing caregiver availability Techniques for validating different behaviors and keeping the focus on process during family sessions Practical advice for therapists to stay grounded and self-compassionate when sessions become complicated The significance of ongoing practice, reflection, and community engagement in mastering EFT skills To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in JULY, Go to: www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango To learn about working with Sarah McConnell visit: https://www.beftcentre.org/ As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
June 2 · 53 min
The Supervision Tapes w/ Rachel Chiu
Join Michael Preston and Rachel Chiu as they explore the impact of patriarchy and misogyny on emotional health, gender roles, and relationships. This conversation offers deep insights into how systemic oppression shapes personal experiences and therapeutic practices. keywords patriarchy, misogyny, gender roles, emotional health, systemic oppression, EFT, therapy, cultural narratives, gender equality key topics Impact of patriarchy and misogyny on emotional health How systemic oppression influences gender roles and relationships Strategies for therapists to address cultural narratives in session To Reach out for Supervision with Rachel Chiu visit her website: https://www.restoretherapysc.com/eft-supervision To Learn more about EFT Triage 2026 in Los Vegas visit: https://efttriage.com/ As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit: WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
May 19 · 52 min
The Supervision Tapes with Jena Irvin
Building Diversity and Addressing Complex Issues in EFT: Insights with Jenna Irvin. Join us as Jenna Irvin shares her journey in increasing diversity within the EFT community, her work with BIPOC therapists, and practical strategies for managing complex couples therapy cases. To Reach out for Supervision with Jena Irvin visit her website: https://www.smyrnacouplescounseling.com/supervision To Learn more about Core Skills Training in Atlanta this summer visit: https://www.eftatlanta.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: MichaelBarnettlpc.com DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit: WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
May 5 · 48 min
The Supervision Tapes w/Grazel Garcia
Supporting Neurodiverse Couples and Therapists in EFT: Insights from Grazel GarciaIn this episode, we dive into neurodiversity with Grazel Garcia, author of Cross Signals, sharing strategies to adapt EFT for neurodiverse clients and honoring the therapist's own nervous system. Whether you're working with neurodiverse couples or navigating your own sensory sensitivities, this conversation offers practical guidance grounded in neuroaffirmative practices.Main Topics: How to modify EFT techniques for neurodiverse clients, including pacing and language adjustments Recognizing neurological differences in emotional expression and processing Attuning to sensory sensitivities and creating a neurodiverse-friendly therapy environment Supporting neurodivergent therapists to self-regulate in challenging sessions Bridging understanding between neurodivergent and neurotypical partners through attachment bids and love language The importance of slowing down and pacing interventions based on client neurotypes How to recognize and validate different ways emotions are felt and expressed Using neuroaffirmative language to validate clients’ internal experiences Practical tips like fidget toys, lighting adjustments, and pacing strategies The significance of self-awareness and regulation for therapists working with high-stimulus couples Exploring attachment behaviors that look different but carry meaningful connection For information about working with Grazel Garcia: Grazel Garcia Psychotherapy & Associates has rebranded to Grayslate. You can reach Grazel directly at either email addresses: For book info and speaking engagements, workshops: grazel@grazelgarciatherapy.com For mental health services: grazel@grayslatetherapy.com Book "Crossed Signals" sign up link: https://grazelgarciatherapy.com/crossed-signals/ Release date: June 2026 To Learn more about Core Skills Training in Atlanta this summer visit: https://www.eftatlanta.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: MichaelBarnettlpc.com DrSilvinaIrwin.com or to work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit: WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
April 21 · 52 min
The Supervision Tapes w/ Annabelle Safinia
Michael Preston meets with EFT Supervisor, Annabel Safinia, for the first episode of The Supervision Tapes. In their discussion Michael presents Annabelle with questions submittied by the audience and the two discuss how they would approach them from an EFT Framework. Annabelle shares her insights on handling challenging moments with confidence. She discusses how to recognize and slow down escalation, to prevent session derailment and turn crises into teaching moments. You’ll discover how to interpret action tendencies like pursuit and withdrawal, and how to work empathically with client defenses rather than against them. Plus, learn the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion as a therapist, so you can stay grounded when everything feels like chaos. Michael and Annabelle break down specific techniques for pausing and grounding during high-stakes moments, including a playful Western metaphor to help you see escalation as a runaway carriage that needs gently pulling over. They offer practical advice on managing your own internal reactions—whether it’s freeze, panic, or self-criticism—and turning these responses into opportunities for growth. Annabel Safinia is an EFT supervisor based in London, known for her approach to foundational skills practice and her passion for helping clinicians master the ‘meat and potatoes’ of EFT. Her work emphasizes the crucial role of therapist self-awareness in transforming therapeutic challenges into opportunities for healing. Perfect for EFT clinicians seeking tools to manage session turbulence. To learn more about working with Annabelle you can visit her website www.calrelationshipclinic.com www.annabellesafinia.com To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi
S1 · E14
March 31 · 58 min
S1 Ep 18: Breaking Down the Tango. Move 4 & 5 in Stage 2
In this episode, hosts Michael Preston, Silvina Irwin, and Michael Barnett reflect on the foundational elements of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), focusing on Stage Two, particularly the critical moments of mismatch and vulnerability. They share insights, real cases, and practical strategies for working with trauma, couples' risk-taking, and creating transformational experiences in therapy.Main Topics: The significance of mismatch moments in fostering change in EFT and how they challenge clients' learned safety rules The neurobiological and emotional implications of high-risk moments in couples therapy Strategies for working with trauma-affected couples, including pacing, validating vulnerability, and managing triggers The role of narrative and coherence in consolidating breakthroughs in session Innovations and upcoming EFT trainings, including the EFT Triage Conference and specialization topics (sexual trauma, addiction, and ruptures) The importance of therapists' self-awareness and patience during fragile moments of change EFTTriage.com MichaelBarnettlpc.com DrSilvinaIrwin.com MichaelPrestonlpc.com Thank you for being part of the journey—your engagement fuels the ongoing exploration of EFT’s potentials. We look forward to continuing this work with you in season two!
S1 · E17
March 17 · 53 min
S1 Ep 17: Breaking Down the Tango. Move 3 in Stage 2
Discover how emotionally focused therapy (EFT) leverages deep, experiential work to create transformative change in relationships. In this episode, we explore the nuance of stage two enactments, how to recognize when clients are ready, and the vital role of daring to go into painful, disowned fears to foster healing.In this episode: The distinct focus of EFT stage two: enactments of attachment fears and needs The importance of creating disconfirming experiences to rewire neural networks How to gauge client readiness for heightened emotional work The critical role of therapist self-awareness and practice in depth work Strategies for managing the challenges of zoom-based EFT sessions The significance of trust, alliance, and stabilizing stages before deep interventions Encouragement for therapists learning to do this transformative, experiential depth work For information on the EFT Triage Conference visit: www.efttriage.com To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions dfrv4qmi
S1 · E16
March 3 · 56 min
S1 Ep 16: Breaking Down the Tango. Move 1-2 Stage 2
In this episode of the Emotionally Focused Therapy podcast, hosts Michael Preston, Michael Barnett, and Dr. Sylvina Irwin delve into the intricacies of transitioning from stage one to stage two of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). They discuss the importance of understanding the different goals of each stage, the role of the therapist, and the significance of heightening emotional experiences. The conversation emphasizes the need to explore attachment fears and working models, highlighting how partners can provide support during this process. The hosts share insights on how to elicit deep emotional experiences and the healing power of vulnerability in relationships, ultimately aiming to create lasting change through secure attachments. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions dfrv4qmi
February 17 · 33 min
Special Episode: Externship Parking Lot Questions Pt 2
In this episode, EFT trainers and supervisors delve into critical aspects of practicing EFT, from handling client risks during stages two and three to maintaining self-care as a therapist. Discover practical strategies, the importance of supervision, and how to keep couples engaged and resilient post-therapy. Key Topics Navigating client backslides and reactivity in stage two — importance of stability and understanding intervention limits. The role of supervision in deepening EFT skills and supporting complex cases. Strategies for ensuring long-term change: protective routines, meaningful life rituals, and ongoing reflection. Self-care essentials for EFT therapists: balancing work demands with personal resilience, creative outlets, and community support. Benefits and logistics of live sessions: how they provide insight, reinforce learning, and empower clients. Handling high-escalation moments: engaging couples in intense emotional episodes safely and effectively. Maintaining client gains after treatment: consolidating skills and life integration practices. The significance of therapists’ ongoing growth and the value of peer support and supervision. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com To join the Waitlist for the Michael's Tango Deliberate Practice Group visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tangowaitlist Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions dfrv4qmi
February 3 · 31 min
Special Episode: Externship Parking Lot Questions Pt 1
In this episode, Michael Preston, Dr. Silvina Irwin, and Michael Barnett tackle questions the came up at a recent Externship in Los Angeles. Whether you're grappling with attachment styles, client setbacks, or pivotal relational moments, this episode offers nuanced insights to deepen your understanding and clinical skills. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions dfrv4qmi
S1 · E12
January 13 · 49 min
S1 Ep 15: Move 4 and 5 Challenges in Stage 1
In this episode, we explore the intricacies of 'move four' and its implications, delving into the strategic aims and potential outcomes. The conversation highlights the importance of creating safe spaces and the dynamics of partnership exposure, offering insights into the dance of professional relationships. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions
S1 · E14
Dec 30, 2025 · 43 min
S1 Ep 14: Move 3 Challenges in Stage 1
In this episode, we explore the intricacies of Tango Move 3 in Stage One, addressing audience questions and delving into the therapist's self-awareness. We discuss the challenges of enactments, the importance of understanding blocks, and the opportunities for growth in therapeutic settings. Takeaways: Understanding Tango Stage One is crucial for therapists. Audience questions provide valuable insights into common challenges. Therapist self-awareness is key to effective therapy. Enactments can sometimes land flat, requiring reflection. Blocks in therapy can be opportunities for growth. New therapists should embrace learning from mistakes. Therapeutic growth often comes from unexpected moments. Packaging enactments is an important skill for therapists. Coherent understanding aids in effective therapy. Sideways moments can lead to profound growth. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visitwww.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions
S1 · E13
Dec 16, 2025 · 48 min
S1 Ep 13: Move 2 Challenges in Stage 1
In this episode, we explore community-driven questions, focusing on Move 2 of the Tango in Emotionally Focused Therapy. We discuss the importance of hightening emotion and addressing self of therapists tolerance levels. The discussion highlights the significance of developing new skill as well as therapists being able to accept where they are in their own emotional process. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visitwww.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution: Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by <a href="https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/356196">Blue Dot Sessions</a>
S1 · E12
Dec 2, 2025 · 43 min
S1 Ep 12: Move 1 Challenges in Stage 1
In this episode, we explore community-driven questions, focusing on Move 1 of the Tango in Emotionally Focused Therapy. We discuss the importance of understanding multiple perspectives in systemic issues. The discussion highlights the significance of integrating diverse viewpoints to move forward effectively. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visitwww.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution: Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot ⁠⁠https://app.sessions.blue/browse/trac....

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