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The Couples Therapist Couch

Shane Birkel

This podcast is about the practice of Couples Therapy. Many of the episodes are interviews with leaders in the field of Relationships. The show is meant to help Therapists and Coaches learn how to help people to deepen their connection, but in the process it explores what is most needed for each of us to love, heal, and grow. Each week Shane Birkel interviews an expert in the field of Couples Therapy to explore all about the world of relationships and how to be an amazing therapist.

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#300
Monday · 42 min
300: Brave Love, Great Sex with Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller about Brave Love, Great Sex. Laurie is an internationally recognized sex therapist, couples counselor, and educator with over 35 years of experience helping people heal their most intimate relationships. George is a husband, father, therapist, educator, speaker, author, and global leader in helping people reconnect and strengthen their relationships. Their latest book is Brave Love, Great Sex: Harnessing Attachment Theory for Passionate Relationships. Hear the sexual side of attachment theory, the 3 systems in a romantic relationship, how to work with clients where only 1 partner wants to have sex, the role of compassion when it comes to sex, and the safety couples therapists provide to clients when talking about sex. To learn more about Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller, visit: LaurieWatson.com GeorgeFaller.com Brave Love, Great Sex Book & Podcast You can also listen to George Faller on Episode 47 of The Couples Therapist Couch
#299
September 7 · 51 min
299: Understanding Shame with Dr. Frank Spinelli
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Frank Spinelli about understanding shame. Frank is a Physician, Health Coach, Author, and passionate advocate whose groundbreaking work bridges healthcare, storytelling, and social justice. His latest book is The Shame Compass: A Radical Framework for Trauma Healing and Self-Acceptance. Hear why shame is like a beach ball, why there's nothing positive about toxic shame, why guilt can be healthy for couples, what happens with adults who were shamed as a kid, and the top reasons women & men feel shame. To learn more about Dr. Frank Spinelli, visit: FrankSpinelli.com The Shame Compass: A Radical Framework for Trauma Healing and Self-Acceptance
#298
September 2 · 55 min
298: Part 2: The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy with Arjuna Ardagh
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this Part 2 of 2, Shane talks with Arjuna Ardagh about The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy. Arjuna supports couples in the practice of conscious relationships and Taoist sexual practices. Hear how to help couples deepen their sense of truth in the world, what to do when partners have different levels of sexual desire, the most common ways couples start relationships, how to help partners share what they truly want with each other, and how couples can practice these concepts at home. To learn more about Arjuna Ardagh and The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy, visit: TaoOfDeepIntimacy.com Instagram @TheTaoOfDeepIntimacy
#297
September 1 · 47 min
297: Part 1: The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy with Arjuna Ardagh
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this Part 1 of 2, Shane talks with Arjuna Ardagh about The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy. Arjuna supports couples in the practice of conscious relationships and Taoist sexual practices. Hear how he became so in love with love, his unique approach with couples, the history of relationships, helpful exercises related to Taoism, and the difference between healthy connection & codependence. To learn more about Arjuna Ardagh and The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy, visit: TaoOfDeepIntimacy.com Instagram @TheTaoOfDeepIntimacy
#296
August 25 · 46 min
296: How to Apologize with Harriet Lerner
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Harriet Lerner about how to apologize. Harriet is one of the most respected voices in the psychology of women, and the "how-tos" of navigating the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships. She is the author of 12 books published in 35 languages. Hear why apologies are so important, the ways people ruin their apologies, what a good apology requires of us, the differences in how men & women apologize, and how to navigate a client who refuses to apologize. To learn more about Harriet Lerner, visit: HarrietLerner.com Why Won't You Apologize? Book Why Won't He Apologize? | Harriet Lerner | TEDxKC You can also listen to Harriet Lerner on Episode 27 of The Couples Therapist Couch
#295
August 18 · 40 min
295: Why You Keep Reacting That Way and How to Stop with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks why you keep reacting that way and how to stop. Hear the difference between your authentic self & your unconscious programming, how our brain creates shortcuts & patterns to protect us, how to find the real Truth of your clients, how to help your clients understand where their feelings & actions are coming from, and how to help your clients come home to themselves.
#294
August 13 · 48 min
294: Attachment Styles with Annie Chen
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Annie Chen about attachment styles. Annie is an author, therapist, consultant, and coach who holds 2 master's degrees in counseling and psychology. With over 17 years dedicated to studying the mind, nervous systems, and relationships, she has developed a unique approach to relationships and working with people. Hear why attachment theory is so important, how we develop our attachment styles, how to approach attachment styles with your clients, the danger of talking in absolutes, and how much to dive into family of origin work. To learn more about Annie Chen, visit: AnnieChen.net AttachmentQuiz.com The Attachment Theory Workbook I Want to Connect Instagram @AnnieChenLMFT You can also listen to Annie Chen on Episode 90 of The Couples Therapist Couch
#293
July 17 · 46 min
293: Surviving Betrayal with LaDonna Carey
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with LaDonna Carey about Surviving Betrayal. LaDonna is a Betrayal Recovery Specialist, Therapist, Trainer, and the Author of Surviving Betrayal: A Path to Healing from Betrayal and Abandonment. Hear why betrayal is so hard to navigate, how to help your clients have these conversations even with anger coming through, how to work with both the betrayer and the betrayed, why intensive sessions are more effective in cases of betrayal, and how to be conscious of your own biases as a couples therapist. To learn more about LaDonna Carey & Surviving Betrayal, visit: Surviving Betrayal Book Smoky Mountains Symposium on Relational Trauma LaDonnaCarey.com LaDonnaCarey.Substack.com You can also listen to LaDonna Carey on Episode 179 & Episode 143 of The Couples Therapist Couch
#292
June 19 · 31 min
292: It's Not about the Dishes with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks why it's not about the dishes. Hear why most of our emotional reactions aren't about what's happening right now, how to recognize carried emotions vs. present emotions, a modern look at our survival strategies, whether to do family of origin work with your clients, and why emotions often come up in financial conversations.
#291
June 5 · 42 min
291: Truth & Love with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks truth & love. Hear why relationships are so hard, why we present the edited version of ourselves to our partner at first, how to help your clients show their true selves, how truth & love tie into The 4 Cs of Relationships, and how deep to go into family history with your clients.
#290
May 20 · 43 min
290: Embracing Your Couples Therapist Identity with Susan Saint-Rossy
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Susan Saint-Rossy about embracing your couples therapist identity. Susan is a Couples Therapist and the Owner of Couples Therapist Studio, where she's a Business and Marketing Consultant for couples therapists. Hear how to run your business as a couples therapist, what clients look for when considering a couples therapist, how to create the signal that makes your practice pop, how to advertise as a couples therapist, and why you should be charging more. To learn more about Susan Saint-Rossy, visit: CouplesTherapistStudio.com Relationship-Therapist.com
#289
April 28 · 23 min
289: Working with Couples Who Get Escalated with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks working with couples who get escalated. Hear some common questions people are wondering about in couples therapy today, how to work with a partner who doesn't want to be in couples therapy, what to do if one partner is more invested than the other, what to do if things get escalated during an intensive or any type of couples therapy session, and how to market intensives to both your existing & new clients.
#288
April 21 · 27 min
288: Relationship Repair with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks relationship repair. Hear why repair is one of the most underrated skills in a relationship, the research experiments behind relationship repair, why the rupture is inevitable, why repair is so hard for so many couples, and how to help your clients build their capacity for repair.
#287
April 14 · 44 min
287: Relationships & AI with Trevor White
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the webinar Inside a Couples Intensive: The 4 C's in Action on Thursday, April 16, 2026: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_P24AEVQEQBOclzxNokvrEQ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Trevor White about relationships & AI. Trevor is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the Founder of Constellation Therapy, a practice focused on infidelity recovery. Hear how infidelity is changing in the Age of AI, how to help couples agree on the rules of their relationship, how to manage AI interactions responsibly, what language to avoid as a couples therapist, and the AI tools valuable for couples therapists today. To learn more about Trevor White and Constellation Therapy, visit: TrevorWhiteTherapy.com ConstellationTherapySeattle.com
#286
April 6 · 49 min
286: Working with Trauma & Couples Therapy with Dr. Janina Fisher
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the webinar Inside a Couples Intensive: The 4 C's in Action on Thursday, April 16, 2026: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_P24AEVQEQBOclzxNokvrEQ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Janina Fisher about working with trauma & couples therapy. Janina is an Author, Clinical Psychologist, and Educator on the forefront in the field of trauma. Hear how trauma & therapy have changed over the years, how to help your clients without triggering them, why you need to use a therapy model your clients like, the similarities between therapy & parenting, and how to validate your clients' experiences. To learn more about Dr. Janina Fisher, visit: JaninaFisher.com Janina's Latest Book: Embracing Our Fragmented Selves: A Workbook for Trauma Survivors and Therapists You can also listen to Dr. Janina Fisher on Episode 252 & Episode 115 of The Couples Therapist Couch
#285
March 31 · 54 min
285: Intensives & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen about intensives & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Rebecca is a Supervisor & Trainer for EFT, and one of the leaders for teaching the EFT model. Hear why intensives are a helpful way to provide safety & security for your clients, why you should do your own work as a couples therapist, how to be supportive to both partners at the same time, how to be gentle in the way you communicate with clients, and why couples therapy is some of the most rewarding work ever. To learn more about Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and her trainings, visit: DrRebeccaJorgensen.com EFTCounseling.org Facebook & Instagram @EFTDoc Emotionally Focused Therapy Group Facebook Group You can also listen to Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen on Episode 271 & Episode 67 of The Couples Therapist Couch
#284
March 26 · 40 min
284: Connection: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into Connection as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear how containing boundaries & protective boundaries work in relationships, the difference between codependence & healthy connection, why so many couples struggle to get back to the honeymoon phase, how to help your clients develop true intimacy & connection, and your job as it relates to your partner.
#283
March 23 · 26 min
283: Compassion: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into Compassion as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear why compassion is tied so closely to shame, how to view shame vs. guilt, what to do when a client is struggling with shame, the 3 ways of pursuing self-esteem, and how much is a healthy amount of comparing yourself to others.
#282
March 19 · 36 min
282: Curiosity: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into Curiosity as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear why being a couples therapist can feel like being a judge, how to help shift your clients' mindsets to curiosity, how to work on the ability to slow down, why strong emotions are okay, and why timeouts can be great in couples therapy.
#281
March 17 · 34 min
281: Consciousness: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into Consciousness as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear what consciousness really is, the different types of awareness to explore with your clients, what to do when a client breaks down from their emotions, the role of a partner when it comes to consciousness, and how to navigate emotions from childhood.

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