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That Happens

Disastrophy Audio

“What am I?” The podcast trudges on through oblivion. Gone are the days of Jeff and Spencer’s asinine jokery, That Happens chronicles the slow deconstruction of the man Patton Oswalt once hailed as having “incredible comedic timing.” Ranting uninterrupted about daily political minutia or tiktok trends, Spencer occasionally breaks down and questions his life, podcast, and reality itself, as Kevin smiles, pained, trying to pull the show back onto the rails with a listener question or quick-fire rhetorical premise. What was is gone, and what’s left is bitter, battery acid-flavored reality. That Happens.

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  • 24 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 1 hr 17 min
  • English

Episodes 24

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  • Today · 1 hr 27 min

    There's Throw Up In This

    This week on That Happens, Spencer sits down with Steph and Brad from SteelCityMTG to talk about basically everything except the thing we're supposed to be talking about, and then also the thing we're supposed to be talking about. We cover the important stuff first: Game Boy hoarding, cloning Pokémon in Crystal like absolute criminals, and the golden age of buying cheat codes from magazines because the internet wasn't invented yet. Then we get into how Steph and Brad met in college, bonded over a truly cutthroat Yu-Gi-Oh vs. Magic debate, and somehow turned "playing cardboard games in the basement" into a whole streaming operation without losing their minds or their life savings (mostly). We talk shop about running a Magic: The Gathering content channel that's actually built for two people instead of chasing the algorithm, the delicate art of getting bulk commons out of your house before they achieve sentience, and why the internet's ongoing beef with blue mana is just a skill issue wearing a costume. Also featured: birria bombs, aggressively burnt apple fritters, sea lion propaganda on TikTok, nostalgic decks from the "$5 build-a-deck" era, and a heartfelt plea for Wizards of the Coast to make full-size sets again instead of whatever we've been getting lately. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 10 · 1 hr 6 min

    Dolly Partman

    Kevin's out this week, which means Spencer is left completely alone with a car, a phone camera, and 39 miles of gas to somehow make a podcast happen. What follows is an existential spiraling about needing other people to function, a full eulogy for Dolly Parton reimagined as a vampire-hunting vampire from a 2000s anime nobody fully remembers, several attempts at "free associating" like a TikTok improv guy that spin wildly out of control, and a confession about relapsing on weed and inventing a cannabis breakfast cereal. Eventually Editor Spencer cuts in to save us all, reading listener emails about Mountain Dew TikTok guys, why Madame Web should be defended passionately, the ongoing Dan Harmon relationship check-in, an AI-and-coding existential crisis that gets a surprisingly thoughtful non-answer, and a crocheted minion-flower-pot sighting from an anime convention. It's a solo, stream-of-consciousness, driving-around episode that somehow still finds time for a giant 256-episode bracket tournament pitch, a Trinity Blood lore dump, and a promise that Kevin will return to restore order. A solid hour of anime deep cuts, AI anxiety, minions, vampires, and podcasts that fall apart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 27 · 50 min

    Dour Hour

    We hit a real milestone this week and decided the only appropriate way to celebrate was with the triumphant return of the Dour Hour, a healthy dose of existential dread, and a time-travel plot so convoluted it makes the MCU look coherent. A mysterious, dying visitor claiming to be "us, but from the future" shows up begging for help preventing a mysterious anomaly from destroying the podcast (and possibly the universe), and against our better judgment, we go along with it. What follows is a multiverse-of-madness style show where we bounce between branching timelines, run into past versions of ourselves who definitely do not remember any of this happening, and try to figure out if the real threat is a cursed shirt, a hot sauce marketing meeting, an AI-generated void slowly eating a bedroom, or just the concept of getting canceled. Naturally, the only way out involves some extremely questionable cybersecurity practices, and the return of a gun that shoots people through the internet. Along the way we revisit some all-time deep cuts, including several increasingly unstable Spencer-from-the-future variants, appearances from Ariel Day, and the eternal question of why Spencer only owns one shirt. Is it a clip show? A time travel story? A cry for help? Yes. Join us for 250 episodes of this nonsense as we attempt, and mostly fail, to save the timeline, the podcast, and whatever's left of our dignity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 20 · 1 hr 16 min

    Dominated by Conan O'Brien

    Alright, chat, We're back with a Robert De Niro impression that doesn't have legs, a hostile takeover of Schrab Home Video, and a heartfelt discussion about whether saying "chat" out loud in real life is a bit or a cry for help. Spencer breaks down why this podcast is basically a turtle? Surviving 249 episodes purely by refusing to move, grow, or improve, because maybe, just maybe, the Spleen bit has plateaued.Then it's soda review corner, where we crack open an Italian blood orange beverage and a Canada Dry strawberry ginger ale, and we workshop a full unified theory of why "refreshers" are taking over gas stations. From there we spiral into an extremely legally-vetted, extremely non-political metaphor involving an uncle, a barbecue, a stroke, six million dollars of prime rib, missing missiles, and Crazy Jeff doing butterfly knife tricks near the children... pure coincidence if any of it sounds familiar. We also get into some real talk about masking, meatspace vs. podcast-space personalities, psychic drawings, being wrongly (or rightly??) diagnosed as bipolar via email, and why internet micro-celebrities are the new tabloid targets now that actual celebrities are too rich to care. Grab a refresher and settle in. Nothing happens, but it happens with maybe a good episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 13 · 1 hr 21 min

    Scorpion Tales

    This week, Kevin has lost his voice, so in his place we welcome a very special honk-based replacement guest who may or may not be an actual honk-girl (spoiler: it's Amelia Marino, Doughboys associate producer, professional poop-reviewer, and reluctant TikTok comment-section warlord). We cover the essentials: why air conditioner repairmen are secretly all undercover conservatives who gaslight you about humidity, the deep lore of curly hair maintenance, and a heartfelt tribute to Mr. Biao, the TikTok legend who dries wet things and wets dry things for reasons no one can fully explain. We also get a rare and vulnerable look behind the curtain of Amelia's ongoing identity crisis: she's tired of being known for her poop-adjacent humor and wants a full image rebrand. So we workshop options like Amelia Bedelia, Ameals on Wheels, and Salvation Armelia, none of which fully escape the poop of it all. Along the way: a surprisingly deep dive into the emotional economics of being a Doughboys PA, a mutual confession of unclockable improv-anxiety, a very good "Scorpion Tales" podcast pitch involving Amelia's dad, and a rousing round of "What's Kevin's Deal" that gets solved almost immediately, threatening the very structure of the segment itself. Also: bug reviews, marine biology dreams, thrifted Brooks Brothers sweater vests, and a passionate defense of humidity as a personality trait. This week's focus is mental health, chronic illness, honking, and the eternal question of whether you can ever truly rebrand away from diarrhea-heavy content. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 6 · 1 hr 17 min

    We've Got to Summon Batman

    This week we let YouTube's AI suggest future episodes, resulting in gems like "Spencer reads your toxic parenting books while Kevin plays high-stakes countdown" and other completely incomprehensible AI slop that somehow still sounds like something we'd actually do. We spiral into a real conversation about whether AI is hitting a wall or just getting weirder, complete with tangents on math proofs, translation earbuds, and a demonetization streak we're desperately trying not to jinx. Then it's a full taste-test of disappointing Miller Lite-flavored Pringles (beer cheeseburger, beer braised steak, and beer battered onion rings) alongside a lineup of Japanese grape candies, because no episode is complete without Kevin subjecting Spencer to mystery snacks. We also open the mailbag for listener emails covering chaos magic, egregores, servitors, Thelema, tulpas, whether Alistair Crowley was really summoning demons or just tripping balls, and an extremely unhinged improvised origin story (courtesy of the Spleen) explaining exactly how Kevin ended up working with Dan Harmon in the first place. Along the way: a genuinely emotional detour into breakup anger, limerence, and the impossibility of ever getting real closure, a Baki anime rant that gets surprisingly not-safe-for-YouTube, and a serious discussion about whether AI-written podcast blurbs are secretly just what dreams sound like to someone who wasn't there. Grab a sad beer-flavored chip and settle in. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 30 · 1 hr 20 min

    The Honk Man

    Honk, honk, folks! Mike Mitchell (of Doughboys fame) stops by the "studio" to hang with Kevin and the Spleen, and things immediately spiral in the best way. We cover the sacred art of recording ads in your closet, why the future of podcasting is probably just one guy who sleeps and streams in the same room, and how to know your favorite sponsor might secretly be a evil corporation. Mike opens up about long COVID, food noise, GLP-1s, losing (and regaining, and re-losing) 100 pounds, and why "doing it the right way" is a myth big guys tell themselves before caving and trying the miracle shot anyway. We also get the full origin story of Mike's path from Catholic-guilt theater kid to UCB sketch guy to being cast in a Chris Pratt movie because of a podcast success story... Plus some hard truths about writing alone in a room slowly convincing yourself you're a nightmare human being. Naturally, we cap things off with a deeply important lightning round of Doughboys style fork ratings covering drinks, streaming services, and the Irish Potato Famine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 23 · 1 hr 18 min

    Peanuts: Nature's Beans

    This week, we survive their own opening theme song getting cut off at the worst possible time, so we ponder the eternal mystery of what exactly gets a podcast demonetized, and somehow still manage to get demonetized anyway. We've got The Spleen's shocking skydiving related divorce announcement, a deep dive into why people binge relisten to old comedy podcasts they claim to hate, and some very unqualified therapy speak about internet strangers with emotional neglect wounds. Then it's time for the main event: a truly unhinged taste test of Bush's Best limited edition Apple Pie, Dill Pickle, and Rocket Pop flavored beans, live and (mostly) uncooked. Spoiler alert: the beans do not go well, Kevin nearly vomits off camera, and we debate whether canned bean colloids belong anywhere near dessert. It's ASMR for people who hate themselves. We close out with some big brain nonsense about anime nostalgia, TESCREALism, AI psychosis, Sam Altman conspiracy theories, and whether Elon Musk's Hyperloop was ever real to begin with. Plus, a heartfelt discussion on capitalism eating creative labor, because why not throw some late-stage capitalism dread in with your bean reviews? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 16 · 1 hr 18 min

    It Goes Well

    Spencer and Kevin are back with a "political roundtable" that spirals almost immediately, featuring special guests Brentz Platner(?), a beeping Mitch McConnell(??), and the late Lindsey Graham(???), channeled via Baba Yaga because Spencer can't do the voice. From there we cover McConnell's mysterious health saga, Maine's messiest Senate race gossip, and why AI-generated food photos on delivery apps look like they're covered in acne. Of course, no episode is complete without a soda taste test: this time it's the return of Mountain Dew Supernova, plus a deep dive into the forgotten history of Mountain Dew's "Dew-mocracy" flavor elections (RIP Revolution and Typhoon, we hardly knew ye). We also get sidetracked into biohacker Bryan Johnson's autoimmune disease, gold-injecting influencers who think ancient alchemists cracked immortality, a surprisingly heady tangent on Greek "genius" vs. Roman "daemon" concepts and narcissism, and the great Wild Cherry Pepsi tweet discourse of the week (is "permission" now a slur, or did everyone just have assault on the brain because of the news cycle?). We close things out with a weird dive into the data center water usage panic, with Kevin bringing actual industry insight on cooling systems, UV filtration, and why the viral "cyclospora outbreak caused by data centers" theory doesn't quite hold water (pun intended). Politics, parasites, Pepsi discourse, and a vintage computer terminal cameo is just another That Happens for us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 9 · 59 min

    Now That’s What I Call Happens: Volume 9

    Now That’s What I Call Happens! Volume 9! Party with The Spleen while you enjoy this rehash of old bits from That Happens! It’ll have you saying "Now That’s What I Call Happens!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 2 · 1 hr 20 min

    Licking a Lithium battery

    We kick things off with The Spleen at war with robot delivery drones after Spencer got revenge on Chipotle's automated phone system in the most creative way possible. Zoom's aggressively updated facial tracking software keeps mistaking a Jigglypuff plushie for Spencer's face, then we debate the finer points of anti-drone technology including tandem puppets and dazzle camouflage. From there we drift into a full breakdown of the Ice Cube War of the Worlds movie that came out in 2025 after apparently sitting on a shelf for five years, and we cover all the reasons aliens who travel across the galaxy specifically to eat data make absolutely no scientific sense. Kevin licks a battery for content, immediately regrets it, then accidentally covers his hands and keyboard in blue dye. The Mountain Dew Dunkin' donuts get reviewed (a slightly sad lemon loaf), alongside a Canada Dry strawberry ginger ale that smells better than it tastes. We also get serious for a bit: The election was probably rigged (twice, different people each time), Gaza and voter apathy are actually connected, and the blood is on all our hands whether you voted or not. Then we pivot to the 35th anniversary of Sonic the Hedgehog, why the original ugly movie design was an inexcusable disaster, and a spirited debate about base-12 mathematics sparked by a listener manifesto. If you're searching for: weird snack reviews, political rants, AI drone paranoia, Sonic anniversary, election conspiracy theories, base-12 math, or just two guys completely failing to run a competent video call... this is That Happens. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 25 · 1 hr 16 min

    Flaming Bags of Dog Complaints

    We kick things off with Sir Spleenington, the distinguished British predecessor to Spencer's lovably grating alter ego "The Spleen", hiding from Flock cameras and ankle monitors while Spencer attempts to explain that this podcast is technically an American reboot of a British podcast. Kevin actually laughs audibly, which may be a first in recorded history. From there, we cover the very real and very poisonous warehouse fire burning in Boyle Heights, LA, where Spencer went out handing N95 masks to street vendors who promptly did not put them on. We also get into the World Cup bringing tourists to America who are discovering chips and salsa, bottomless refills, and tailgating for the first time, leading to what is probably an AI-generated viral tweet about a Japanese man being spiritually defeated by a basket of tortilla chips at a Mexican restaurant. Then things get truly personal. Spencer recounts a weekend of cascading indignities: a terrible fake-Caesar wrap from Doghaus, a multi-hour Chipotle customer service odyssey involving AI phone bots, a rude supervisor, a robot that hung up on him, and a very long drive to find no crispy chicken. A Magic: The Gathering card he wanted wasn't even in the deck it was supposed to be in. He survived all of this, and his emotional recovery time is getting shorter, which we declare as growth. We close out with Spencer pitching a structured belief system built around summoning a personal "familiar", essentially harnessing the placebo effect and humanity's religious tendencies into something useful and non-cult-shaped. Kevin says he'd join immediately. Spencer considers writing a self-help book. The Spleen is somewhere hiding from cameras. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 18 · 1 hr 17 min

    Anime Binge Club: FLCL Episodes 5 & 6

    We're wrapping up our coverage of the classic 6-episode anime FLCL (Fooly Cooly) on Anime Binge Club, and Spencer and Kevin have a lot to say about robots, aliens, and the crushing weight of adolescence. After Spencer accidentally swears on YouTube (twice), forgets the show's name, and loses his fidget toy, we dive into the finale with the enthusiasm of someone who just had a guitar pulled out of their head. Kevin confesses he found the ending confusing, which surprises absolutely no one, and Spencer responds by delivering an impressive breakdown of the entire plot involving space pirates, NO-powered brains, and a giant iron trying to flatten the planet. We debate whether Haruko is basically Bugs Bunny with a vespa and a spring-loaded boxing glove in a very uncomfortable location. Spencer also traces the origin story of his beloved character The Spleen back to a Twitch DJ persona called DJ Horny Smooth, and somehow it all makes sense. Along the way we cover the dual meaning of hate symbols, the South Park animation cameo, why cocking a gun and feeling cocky might be etymologically linked, and why the show is secretly about emotionally unavailable parents and small-town adolescent stagnation. Spencer gets deep, Kevin gets confused, and Spenpai gets HR-flagged again. We also debate whether Superman flying out of someone's house is canon. It is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 11 · 1 hr 20 min

    Object Permanence & ADHD

    This week we've got a surprisingly lengthy debate about what "pomp without circumstance" actually means. (Spoiler: it's absurdity. The Spleen has strong feelings about this.) From there we spiral into our wheelhouse: the discourse around Graham Plattner's apparent fascist-adjacent situation and what it says about Maine's famously unclassifiable political identity, why the "this is not who we are" crowd are doing everyone a disservice, and how understanding why people become Nazis (racism, it turns out.. not that complicated) can actually reduce your emotional suffering. Spencer also revisits the 9/11-as-unique-tragedy conversation and makes the argument that Americans' inability to see their suffering as part of a global pattern has caused enormous downstream damage. We also cover: TikTok's hidden "Farlands", a creepy unlisted corner of AI-generated nightmare content that is somehow better than normal AI output; why AI might actually be most useful when it's making deeply disturbing uncanny valley content rather than generic slop; the depressing lifecycle of corporate loyalty and how Spencer's manager's lifelong single-employer career might explain an entire dysfunctional workplace. We also discuss loneliness, the ADHD "object permanence for people" problem, and solving every problem alone since childhood. We read listener mail, including heartfelt thanks, an emergency pants-exchange situation involving a missing house key, and the extremely fair note that Spencer spiraling about the podcast being bad is the only part of the podcast that's actually bad. We close, as always, with a word from our "sponsors": a very detailed, very earnest advertisement about pelvic floor dysfunction that Spencer found on TikTok and decided all of you needed to experience. You're welcome. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 4 · 1 hr 19 min

    Anime Binge Club: FLCL Episodes 3 & 4

    Spencer opens by casually mentioning that Spenpai is stuck in mandatory HR training after some "incidents," which is a sentence that raises more questions than it answers. Spencer soldiers on with Kevin, and the show kicks off with him describing in visceral, increasingly disturbing detail how he sliced his thumb open while cutting a Costco rotisserie chicken with entirely the wrong knife. Just when you think the medical drama is over, Spencer reveals he then contracted shingles, which he has traced directly to a catastrophically awkward lunch that sent him spiraling for three straight days. He makes a compelling case that social anxiety can, in fact, cause viral flare-ups. Between doctor's notes and nerve pain, Spencer has apparently been home watching anime, and boy does he have thoughts. He gives enthusiastic breakdowns of Beastars (anime for furries where a wolf has complicated feelings about a rabbit) and Orb: On the Movements of the Earth (anime where people get executed for looking at stars), before we dig into FLCL episodes three and four. Kevin and Spencer discuss cat ears, school plays, parental affairs, robots that need to use the bathroom, the Eva parallels, and what it all means about being a teenager who suspects adults are frauds. We round things out with a breathless recap of the Arlong Park arc of One Piece, which somehow involves a fish man pulling out his own teeth, a woman stealing everyone's wallets, and a coward setting someone on fire with rubbing alcohol. It all makes sense, somehow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • May 28 · 1 hr 21 min

    Am I a Bad Person? Did I Not Have Lunch?

    We kick things off by accidentally introducing the wrong show, arguing about Bonnie Tyler lyrics, and discovering that turning away from the camera reveals a wall-to-wall penny situation nobody knew was there. From there, things get real fast. Spencer is having kind of a rough go of it: missing his ex, stuck on video game programming, smoking too much weed to feel high anymore, but finds unexpected joy in the philosophical similarities between Minecraft and coding. The conversation meanders through THAC0 (the famously cursed old Dungeons & Dragons combat mechanic), the surprisingly cherry-forward nature of Mr. Pibb, Kevin's deeply controversial love of RC Cola, and a Diablo 4-branded Fanta that Spencer considers one of the great sodas of our time. We also wade into the current state of society: the FBI finding reports "credible" while nobody does anything about it, data centers making people on Threads suspicious for reasons that make no sense, the Goonbug mobile game phenomenon and the observation that the American Dream has quietly pivoted from "be a doctor" to "get hit by a truck for a settlement." Spencer also delivers a passionate sermon about labor vs. ideas, and the whole thing wraps up with an AI-generated email reply, a fantastic Hulk Hogan impression, and Spencer encouraging listeners to run him over with their cars as a form of support. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • May 21 · 1 hr 13 min

    Anime Binge Club: FLCL Episodes 1 & 2

    Spencer opens with a string of expletives so dense it demonetized the video version on contact. Kevin, meanwhile, had to leave his own house and drive to a third location just to record an episode about cartoons. Anyway: FLCL, episodes one and two. The setup, as Spencer explains it to a bewildered Kevin: a 12-year-old kid named Naota gets run over by a pink-haired woman on a Vespa. Her name's Haruko. She gives him CPR, whacks him with a guitar, and then just sort of moves into his house. Later a robot bursts out of his head. Then a second robot also bursts out of his head. Spencer reads all of this as being about puberty, Naota's older brother being gone, and Mamimi, the girl who prays to a video game god while doing little fire rituals with lighters taped to her face. Kevin's contribution is that it all felt like a dream, which Spencer declares the correct take. Elsewhere: Spencer's latest Magic loss (great deck, politically knifed out of the game almost immediately), a bit on "Classroom of the Elite" and its protagonist who is apparently just the smartest student alive and fixes everything quietly forever, and a listener question about CPTSD and protective anger. Spencer gets unexpectedly real on that last one before concluding that, no, he mostly just accepts injustice rather than getting angry about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • May 7 · 1 hr 17 min

    Purplessness

    Spencer kicks things off with a rousing game of "What Makes the Sound?" (a cow makes a moo, in case you were on the edge of your seat). From there, we meander gloriously through soda reviews. Kevin tries Dirty Mountain Dew and hates it, Spencer demolishes an entire can of Cuban Iron Beer soda like a man who has found religion, and somewhere in between, Spencer confesses to eating 900 calories of bread because Whole Foods lied to him about having strawberry pretzel cream pie. In between all of this, Spencer delivers breaking analysis on the collapse of American political discourse, explains why British panel shows are secretly the peak of human civilization, and provides a surprisingly detailed update on his indie video game development, which now features 625 hexagons and a working raycast-based selection mechanic. Kevin, for his part, earns the wrath of the Discord chat by admitting he's never given hot Dr. Pepper a fair chance, and bravely promises to revisit the issue despite clearly not wanting to. The episode wraps with Spencer pitching a spinoff podcast called "Spenpai's Spleen Pod" dedicated entirely to lore about The Spleen, a brief meditation on whether their intro music is weeding out the right people, and an anime recommendation about an anxious J-pop idol whose house is a disaster. It's a chaotic, deeply human hour of podcasting that somehow holds together through the sheer force of two guys who genuinely like talking to each other. Subscribe on YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • April 30 · 1 hr 19 min

    Reminder: Put Mopsy in the Game

    In this episode we manage to accomplish absolutely nothing of substance with remarkable efficiency. Spencer digs into his mysterious origin story as "The Spleen," a once-promising radio personality who got "cited" (not commended) back down to the evening drive slot. Along the way, we continue the debate on the legitimate athletic performance benefits of hummus, Kevin recounts being handed a fluorescent green cantaloupe slushie at a Vegas convention when he clearly asked for a Coke (he just took it and walked away), and Spencer gets judged for shopping at Walmart, where he heroically tracked down the elusive "Dirty Mountain Dew" by following a suspicious old woman's suspicious bottle inspection behavior. Spencer also delivers an impassioned monologue about learning to code in Godot, where he has successfully produced hexagons that are in the wrong place, and is absolutely thrilled about it. We then pivot to a surprisingly thoughtful discussion about AI as a "fascist artifact," the strange permanence of internet content, and why neither of them can accept a compliment without immediately becoming suspicious of the person giving it. Somewhere in there we also vow to retroactively fix their September 11th episode by literally editing ourselves traveling back in time into it, which they probably won't do. Emails are read, a mystery Taco Bell sign remains unaccounted for, and Spencer wraps things up by abruptly leaving the Zoom call. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • April 23 · 1 hr 18 min

    Hummusmaxxing

    We return from what may or may not have been a long break. Honestly, we recorded some episodes out of order, so nobody really knows where we are in the timeline anymore. Before figuring out our own lore, we have some bad news: The Spleen is in the hospital after crashing an Uber at three times the speed limit. His prognosis remains unclear, though he was reportedly administered 30 cc's of Funyuns. From there, we meander through Spencer getting bitten by a large dog whose elderly owner was being dragged down a hiking trail like an upturned Koopa shell, a coworker who died and was eulogized via workplace intercom sandwiched between parking reminders and a car show announcement, and an airport encounter with a man who was absolutely convinced that eating large quantities of homemade hummus was directly improving his tennis game. Kevin then arrives at his Las Vegas hotel to discover Mr. Beast staring at him outside his window, and somehow this is the least weird part of the episode. We debate whether their podcast intro saying "white lives" is giving undue prominence to white lives, and discuss the chaotic teenage internet figure known as "Clavicular," who has been bone-smashing, meth-smoking, and tying backpacks to his genitals in pursuit of physical perfection. Spencer also reveals he has relapsed into smoking weed, while learning game development in Godot partly to spite his father, and has committed to invoking "Michael Jordan Flu Game" as a life philosophy. Listener emails round things out, including a fan whose wife assumed Spencer was "an educated black man." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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