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Satansplain

Bill M.

Satanism talk with Church of Satan Magister Bill M.

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21 episodes
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Avg 46 min
English

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#124
Saturday · 51 min
Satansplain #124 - Why a "Free" Satanic Bible is Unsatanic
Hear why a free Satanic Bible is, ironically, unsatanic. Also hear talk about Satanically-relevant trademarks and copyrights, and one particularly ridiculous conspiracy theory regarding Dolly Parton. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Original 2014 article: https://churchofsatan.com/free-satanic-bible-is-unsatanic/ 0:00 - Intro 0:56 - Dolly Parton, and why conspiracy theorists are the worst 5:50 - James asking about DaddyBaphy and Black Craft Cult's rip off 17:13 - To the idiots who say "the name Satanism isn't copyrighted" 19:46 - Satanecdote: Elevator 21:38 - Satanecdote: The $20 bill 26:03 - Lost emails? 27:03 - Why a Free Satanic Bible isn't Free: origin (and why we don't have official forums) 30:21 - Why a 'Free' Satanic Bible is Unsatanic 34:58 - Bootleg = illegal; unauthorized book = gamble 38:31 - Is it really that hard to get? 39:50 - More about electronic books 42:08 - Free Spells? 47:13 - Point six: Books are cool 49:39 - Afterword
#123
August 8 · 51 min
Satansplain #123 - Life, Death, and Grief (part 2)
After covering what Satanism has to say about life and death in part 1, part 2 continues with a deeper dive into the topic of dealing with death and grief. About the show: https://satansplain.com Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:12 - Overview, superstitious vs. scumbag 05:37 - Grief: What we DON'T do 08:08 - The 2025 letter (death of a pet) 12:06 - Cremation vs. burial and Satanism's "requirements" 13:36 - Answers from Infidels.org's "Introduction to Atheism" FAQ, 1997 20:15 - On friends and family, Rule #2, myth of the "Satanic Community" 26:14 - But...counterproductive pride! 34:55 - Reminder: Satanism is a religion 40:40 - Satanic Funerals 43:50 - Other ritual, and the Satanic journey symbolism via elements 49:40 - Quotation
#122
August 4 · 33 min
Satansplain #122 - Life, Death, and Grief (part 1)
Presenting part 1 of a 2-part set of episodes on life, death, and grief. We'll look at how Satanism particularly views the phenomenon of death, from views on the afterlife, to Satanic funerals, to dealing with the death of those around us. About the show: https://satansplain.com Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 0:00 - Intro 0:53 - Overview 3:56 - Life After Death Through Fulfillment of the Ego 9:08 - Labels are good. Buddhism sucks. 18:12 - I-Theism vs. Pretentiousness 22:15 - Aside: ECI, afterlife 26:46 - Fearing death, spiritual pipedreams 30:52 - About grief (continued in part 2)
#121
July 12 · 40 min
Satansplain #121 - Bible in Texas Schools, Citizen Vigilante, "Move and Appear"
A third-side look at the recent news story about the Texas Board of Education allegedly forcing Bible study. Also, a Satanic review of the 2026 movie Citizen Vigilante, and the origins of the Satanic ritual phrase, "Move and appear". About the show: https://satansplain.com Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Texas BOE 2030 reading list: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/28277289-texas-religious-school-readings/ 0:00 - Intro 1:01 - Announcements 2:46 - Bible in Texas schools: Did you read the article? 6:06 - What happened? 10:08 - Lame, but not illegal 20:58 - Satanecdote 1 22:22 - Satanecdote 2 25:12 - Origin of "Move and Appear" 30:59 - Citizen Vigilante
#120
June 26 · 52 min
Satansplain #120 - 1970 Church of Satan article from McCall's magazine
No, Anton LaVey did not refer to Satanism as a "new conservative movement" in a 1970 issue of McCall's magazine, as some liars claim. But we'll take a full look at that long lost article anyway, showcasing one of many journalist's entertaining reports from the early years of the Church of Satan. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support About the show: https://satansplain.com McCall's article (subscribers only): https://satansplain.locals.com/post/8015531/mccalls-1970-article-san-franciscos-church-of-satan 00:00 - Intro 00:57 - Where is episode 119? 02:03 - Questions about Judith Rascoe's "San Francisco's Church of Satan", 1970 McCall's article 04:18 - Politics redux 10:47 - About that article 14:45 - Does anyone know? Apparently not. 17:19 - What to expect 25:58 - McCall's Article 29:12 - Anton LaVey 34:29 - The Satanic Bible 38:31 - Would you like to see the rest of the house? 41:50 - Satanic ritual 48:53 - After ritual
#118
June 7 · 36 min
Satansplain #118 - Reflecting on 6/6/06 (Church of Satan High Mass)
A look back at the infamous Church of Satan High Mass, held on 6/6/06. Hear shared memories of that night, related events, and the more general nature of actual Satanic gatherings. 00:00 - Intro 01:24 - Reminder: Satanism is not a congregational religion 03:22 - But Satanists do sometimes get together, by choice! 07:22 - 6/6/06 and why 10:33 - A message from Church of Satan High Priest, Magus Peter H. Gilmore 19:21 - A week in L.A.: Remembering Shawn 23:59 - 2016 reflections on 2006
#117
May 29 · 48 min
Satansplain #117 - "Satanic Prayer" Lunacy
Are actual Satanists giving prayers to the Devil in government meetings?!? Are certain voters possessed by literal demons?!? The answer to both questions is of course is no. Hear about one lunatic who thinks otherwise, along with equally delusional trolls who help confirm his paranoia, and some political third side observations. Gateway Pundit article: https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/05/wayne-root-proof-las-vegas-that-democrats-are/ Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 0:00 - Intro 3:58 - Start of Wayne Root's article 7:52 - Third Side Rant 15:14 - Back to the Article 17:16 - Dumb arguments, from both christards and Solingists 25:06 - Satanic Prayer? 32:48 - Article, continued 39:05 - CombatKimmy 42:09 - More with CombatKimmy 45:58 - Steve Sebelius is a moron
#116
May 14 · 38 min
Satansplain #116 - "No, You're Not Entitled to Your Opinion"
A look at the modern sacred cow of opinion entitlement and its poor justification for faulty thinking and solipsism. Also, the surprising Satanic merits of the classic comedy film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", plus some anecdotes from fellow Satanists on when their Satanism being detected or undetected worked in their favor. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Article, "No, You're Not Entitled To Your Opinion": https://theconversation.com/no-youre-not-entitled-to-your-opinion-9978 00:00 - Intro 01:07 - About the article 02:52 - "No, You're Not Entitled To Your Opinion" 05:52 - Dunning-Kruger and Solipsism 10:18 - Satanists falling for this? 18:05 - To the "bUt u beLiEvE iN mAgicK!" dorks 18:54 - Article, continued 25:47 - Satanecdote: Stone Cold Steve Anton? 33:15 - "No, dummy, that was Ghandi, not LaVey." 35:12 - Satanecdote: The Car Boot
#115
April 30 · 42 min
Satansplain #115 - Church of Satan's 60th Anniversary
Happy 60th anniversary to the Church of Satan! Hear some Church of Satan history, how and when members get together, the anniversary celebrations, why we don't use grottos, and some trivia about the hidden track on the Satanic Mass album. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Church of Satan history: https://churchofsatan.com/history The Grotto System: https://churchofsatan.com/the-grotto-system/ 00:00 - Intro 01:21 - History quotations 07:16 - More on the Church of Satan 10:29 - Satanists getting together 13:58 - Getting together: bigger numbers 19:13 - Thoughts on the 60th celebration 28:58 - Satanecdote: lesser magic at the pharmacy drive-thru 30:43 - Upcoming episode? 31:36 - Ghost track on "The Satanic Mass" 34:09 - Grottos vs. Internet
#114
April 13 · 38 min
Satansplain #114 - Satanism "evolution" demands from the unevolved
Satansplain gives answers to questions on the vague demands for Satanism to "evolve". Also Satanic films, the mistake of equating structure with conformity, and some stories from fellow Satanists on putting personal desires above counterproductive pride. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support COS film list: https://churchofsatan.com/sources-film-list/ 00:00 - Intro 01:12 - Questions about "Satanists" in movies (Ready or Not) 04:55 - Ricky Behot's weird post 10:22 - Ricky's post, continued 14:01 - "Newest youtube video/podcast?" 18:59 - Satanism and Philosophical Praxis 24:27 - Structure vs. "evolution" 26:33 - More on "evolving" delusions / cafeteria religion people 31:06 - Satanic Anecdotes
#113
April 4 · 46 min
Satansplain #113 - Satanism and Atheism FAQ
The Church of Satan's FAQ has been expanded with the frequently asked questions (and answers) concerning Satanism and atheism. A comprehensive essay is also now available. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Church of Satan FAQ on atheism: https://churchofsatan.com/faq-replies-for-atheists/ New essay, "On the Misconceptions of Atheism and Satanism": https://churchofsatan.com/on-the-misconceptions-of-atheism-and-satanism/ Satansplain episode #016: https://satansplain.com/episodes/episode-016/ 00:00 - Intro 01:29 - Satansplain 101, and the 80-20 Rule 05:57 - "Hey, could you send us pamphlets to upset the fundies?" 06:45 - "How can you be an atheist and a Satanist?" 07:51 - "If you Satanists are atheists, then why not just call yourselves 'atheists'?" 09:10 - "Is Satanism a religion? Is it a type of atheism? How can Satanism be a religion if Satanists don't believe in any deities?" 11:18 - "What is the COS doing to fight for [insert favorite cause]?" 14:39 - "How can you be atheists if you believe in magick?" 16:12 - "Wasn't Satanism INVENTED specifically to troll Christians?" 21:50 - Satanecdote: Priest burger 24:44 - Side rant: fast food workers 27:21 - "Is Satanism just Ayn Rand's Objectivism, plus ritual? Didn't LaVey say that?" 29:57 - "Different denominations?" 35:58 - "Was Anton LaVey really a deist or secret theist? And then did Peter H. Gilmore decidedly change Satanism to be atheistic instead?" 39:52 - "Isn't it wrong to say you're atheists if it's possible to be agnostic/deist/apatheist? And how can you be both I-theist and atheist?"
#112
March 22 · 37 min
Satansplain #112 - Spring, Sigils, Victims, and Solipsism
As the Church of Satan approaches its diamond year anniversary, a new stylized rendering of the Sigil of Baphomet is presented. Hear more about the sigil, equinoxes, the false notion of Satanic victims, and some odd listener mail. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support More on the Sigil of Baphomet: https://churchofsatan.com/history-sigil-of-baphomet/ Spring message: https://churchofsatan.com/exquisite-equinox-spring-2026/ 00:00 - Intro 02:10 - Equinox 2026 essay / Satanic Holidays 06:50 - More on the origin of the sigil 13:35 - Rest of the equinox message 14:27 - Satanic Victims? (essay by Magister Michael Rose) 21:02 - The letter - the thoughtful part and The Satanic Bible 27:46 - Being solipsistic with screaming Satanism 33:52 - And now the P.S.
#111
February 25 · 43 min
Satansplain #111 - "Why Are You A Satanist?" and online drama
"Why are you a Satanist? It's a good question to ask yourself from time to time." We'll explore Magistra Blanche Barton's essay which opens with this line, along with "Satanism discussion" forums that don't have much in the way of Satanists nor discussion, and finding ones which do. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:16 - "Best of" the "hurr durr" voice? 02:39 - Satanecdote: Discord Drama 07:03 - But wait, it gets worse! 12:02 - More about Satanism forums 25:51 - About Blanche Barton 27:04 - About Blanche Barton's "Why Are You a Satanist?" 29:14 - "Why Are You A Satanist?" 32:30 - Essay, continued 39:46 - Closing thoughts
#110
February 8 · 46 min
Satansplain #110 - Satanic holiday rituals, fake pages, advice for young Satanists
Answering emails regarding fake "Church of Satan" pages, Satanic rituals for equinoxes and solstices, weirdos obsessed with Anton LaVey's ethnicity, and advice for young Satanists. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Youth Communique: https://churchofsatan.com/satanic-youth-communique/ 00:00 - Intro 01:07 - Dealing with fake "Church of Satan" channels 08:06 - Rituals for equinoxes, solstices, etc? 16:58 - Satanecdote: the holy water bottle 22:45 - "Does Satanism support Jews? I need to know!" Um, what? 35:50 - Advice for young Satanists
#109
February 3 · 58 min
Satansplain #109 - Adapting "The Satanic Rituals" for Solitary Use; Enochian Keys
"The Satanic Rituals" (Anton LaVey's 1972 companion book to "The Satanic Bible"), presents many group rituals for Satanists. These rituals can however be adopted for solitary use as well. This episode also addresses some misconceptions regarding the role of ritual in Satanism, and answering listener questions about the Enochian Keys. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:17 - Reminder: Satanism is a religion 04:52 - Yes, we have ritual 08:44 - Reminder: ALL religion ritual is "LARPing" 09:45 - Group rituals 12:45 - Using TSR for solitary rituals 15:34 - Breaking down "Pilgrims of the Age of Fire - The Statement of Shaitan" 22:08 - Shaving the head with water from the Zamzam? 27:32 - The ritual, continued 32:28 - The importance of going through the motions / more details 39:54 - Enochian Keys 50:33 - Using other languages for the translation 51:33 - More on Enochian Keys
#108
January 18 · 1 hr
Satansplain #108 - Satanic Music
What constitutes "Satanic music"? It's certainly not all about heavy metal. But in this episode, we'll explore why people make that association, along with many other Satanic angles to the topic of music, and also share some relevant writings from Anton Szandor LaVey. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 03:15 - Heavy metal? 08:22 - The "horns" gesture 14:29 - No, it's not all that Satanic 16:12 - Church of Satan's answer on Montel Williams 20:57 - Quote from Satan Speaks 27:10 - What is Satanic Music? 30:57 - Yes, We Have No Bananas, Hipsters 34:21 - Pre-rock music with devil themes 41:27 - Satanic Music parameters? 46:46 - Evocation / Music for the Ritual Chamber
Dec 31, 2025 · 54 min
Satansplain #107 - Greater Magic, Satanic Sin 9, Mixed Marriages, and the Myth of Satanic Denominations
Satansplain answers questions about greater magic, Satanic Sin #9, relationships with non-Satanists, and the myth of Satanic "denominations". Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 02:42 - Satanecdote: Getting a synthesizer 08:24 - We don't spell "magic" with a "k" 12:55 - Lack of Aesthetics for a blind man 24:32 - Christian fiancé? 33:04 - The myth of Satanic "denominations", redux 38:06 - Does Cevin Soling's group even HAVE a religion? 42:53 - "But why do YOU get to define it?" 46:14 - We don't need Satanism denominations
#106
Dec 21, 2025 · 53 min
Satansplain #106 - The Nine Satanic Sins (part 2)
Satansplain continues the exploration of the 9 Satanic Sins. Here in part 2, sins number 4 through 9 will be examined. The Nine Satanic Sins: https://churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins/ Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:27 - Satanic Sin #4: Self-deceit 08:45 - Satanic Sin #5: Herd conformity 14:28 - Satanic Sin #6: Lack of Perspective 30:05 - Satanic Sin #7: Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies 33:15 - Satanic Sin #8: Counterproductive Pride 40:10 - Satanic Sin #9: Lack of Aesthetics 44:15 - Objective standards of beauty
#105
Dec 15, 2025 · 47 min
Satansplain #105 - The 9 Satanic Sins (part 1)
Satansplain presents a look at the 9 Satanic Sins. Here in part 1, we'll learn where the list comes from, why the list is part of Satanism, and an examination of sins number 1, 2, and 3. The 9 Sins: https://churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins/ Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:49 - Note to the Christian dorks who can't read 03:12 - About the 9 Satanic Sins 07:47 - More about the sins 14:38 - Satanic Sin #1: Stupidity 17:52 - Religious people are stupid? It's not quite that simple. 25:36 - Satanecdote and Rosemary's Baby 28:43 - Satanic Sin #2: Pretentiousness (and why I-Theism is not pretentiousness) 33:56 - Satanic Sin #3: Solipsism (which is not the same as selfishness)
#104
Dec 1, 2025 · 45 min
Satansplain #104 - On Rage Bait and Selective Debate (Lisa Barlow, LibsofTikTok)
"The only proper response to them is no response!" Or is it? A look into selective debate engagement and the people who fear it. Also, two recent examples of channels desperate to name-drop the Church of Satan for rage bait, and the end result. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:43 - "Don't respond to trolls! Ever!", they say 05:00 - No, there are sometimes good reasons: 1) Wrath 09:29 - 2) It's fun 10:28 - 3) Sharpening the Intellect 11:54 - 4) The audience 15:19 - Further thoughts 23:37 - Lisa Barlow's tequila and Church of Satan Magister David Harris's reply 29:37 - Satanecdote: LibsofTikTok stupidity (no, we're not located in Canada)

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