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recovered-ish with chloe cox

Chloe Cox

Recovered-ish is where we talk about the real side of eating disorder recovery — the messy parts, the confusing parts, and the parts no one wants to say out loud.


I’m Chloe — therapist, recovery coach, and someone who’s been through it myself. Every solo episode gets into the stuff you’re actually dealing with: the constant mental noise, the guilt after eating, the fear of fullness, the body image spirals, the pressure to shrink, and the moments where you’re convinced you’re “failing” at recovery.


This isn’t about perfection or doing recovery the “right” way. It’s about learning how to feed yourself, trust yourself, and build a relationship with your body that isn’t rooted in fear.
 You’ll get practical tools, honest conversations, and the kind of support I wish I had when I was in it.


If you want recovery that’s imperfect, human, and actually possible… you’re in the right place.

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  • 23 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 42 min
  • English

Episodes 23

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  • S1 · E35
    Wednesday · 38 min

    "I relapsed and part of me likes it" — ED recovery Q&A part 3 | recovered-ish ep. 35

    Episode Description Part three — the final installment of the listener Q&A before I head out on maternity leave. This one covers the long game of recovery: whether it's possible after decades, whether you'll always live with it in some capacity, relapse guilt, missing the control the eating disorder gave you, the physical side effects nobody warns you about, and how you actually know when you're recovered. In This Episode: Is recovery possible after decades of an eating disorder? Why hope matters more than almost anything else — and how to find it when you have none The access and privilege barriers nobody names honestly Will you always live with an eating disorder in some capacity? My honest, slightly controversial take "I relapsed and part of me likes it" — why that's more common than you think What to do when you still want the control the rules gave you Amenorrhea — getting your cycle back and why it takes longer than you expect Why you can't sleep in early recovery When did I feel recovered? Gradual or a switch? Breaking the perfectionist mindset in recovery Building self-esteem when you don't feel deserving of care How I handle public conversations about eating disorders and bodies And a fun one — baby name hints Timestamps: 0:00 Intro + maternity leave countdown 2:30 The long game — recovery over years and decades 3:30 Is recovery possible after decades? 5:00 Access, privilege, and the barriers nobody names 7:00 Why hope is the biggest factor 9:30 Will you always live with it in some capacity? 14:00 "I relapsed and part of me likes it" 16:00 When you still want the control the rules gave you 19:00 Amenorrhea and getting your cycle back 22:00 Why you can't sleep in early recovery 25:00 When did I feel recovered? 27:00 Perfectionism in recovery 29:30 Building self-esteem when you don't feel deserving 32:00 Public conversations about eating disorders and bodies 35:00 Baby name hints 37:00 Closing thoughts Resources + Connect with Me: 🎓 FREE masterclass — September 15th. Register now and get the workbook immediately: https://recover-with-chloe.myflodesk.com/masterclass Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: recovery after decades, relapse guilt, eating disorder control, amenorrhea recovery, perfectionism in recovery, when do you feel recovered, ED recovery Q&A, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E34
    August 26 · 52 min

    food guilt, triggering friends, and recovering without a team — ED recovery Q&A | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 34

    Episode Description Part two of the listener Q&A. You sent in your questions and I'm answering them honestly. This one covers body image and worth, food guilt, figuring out whether a decision is coming from you or the eating disorder, navigating friends who say triggering things, opening up to people you've hidden this from, and what to do if a treatment team isn't accessible to you. In This Episode: How to actually detach your worth from your body — and why de-centering works better than arguing with yourself What to do when your body recovers faster than your mind Getting comfortable not knowing your weight Coping with guilt after eating something you've labeled "unhealthy" How to tell if a decision is yours or the eating disorder's — a values exercise Why you don't have to fight the ED voice when you're exhausted How I realized my eating habits were actually an eating disorder The eating disorder as your "new boyfriend" — how that dynamic works What to do when friends say triggering things around food How and why to open up to people you've hidden this from Making the most of residential treatment Top tips for recovering when a treatment team isn't accessible Do you need a formal diagnosis? Timestamps: 0:00 Intro + Quasi-Recovery Exit update 3:00 Q&A part two begins — body image theme 3:30 Detaching your value from your body 7:00 When your body recovers faster than your mind 11:00 Getting comfortable not knowing your weight 13:00 Food guilt and the "unhealthy" label 16:00 The ED voice — who's actually making the decisions? 17:00 The values exercise 20:00 What to do when you're too exhausted to fight the voice 22:00 How I realized it was actually an eating disorder 24:00 The eating disorder as your new boyfriend 28:00 When friends say triggering things around food 32:00 Family and friends who get mad at your behaviors 35:00 Opening up after years of hiding it 38:00 Making the most of residential treatment 42:00 Recovering without a treatment team 45:00 First therapy session — what do you even say? 46:00 Asking your dietician for food tracking 48:00 Do you need a formal diagnosis? Resources Mentioned: The Eight Keys to Recovery Eating in the Light of the Moon Life Without Ed Intuitive Eating ANAD — free online support groups Recovery Record app Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: food guilt eating disorder, triggering friends recovery, recovering without treatment, ED recovery Q&A, body image worth, eating disorder voice, residential treatment, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E33
    August 19 · 43 min

    [REPLAY] does the eating disorder voice ever go away? | the recovered-ish podcast

    Episode Description This is a replay of one of the most-listened-to episodes of recovered-ish. I'm taking the week off to prep for maternity leave, so no new episode this week — but this one is worth revisiting, especially if you're new here. One of the most common questions I get — from clients, from Instagram, from people deep in the trenches of recovery — is this: does the eating disorder voice ever actually go away? In this episode, I get honest about my own experience with the ED voice: what it sounded like at its worst, how it shifted through different stages of recovery, and where it lives now (spoiler: it's a lot more like an intrusive thought about tap dancing in a grocery store than a voice running my life). This isn't a tidy yes-or-no answer, because recovery isn't tidy. But it is a real one — and one I don't think the internet talks about honestly enough. In This Episode: What the eating disorder voice actually is — and why it feels like a separate voice in your head Ego syntonic vs. ego dystonic thinking, and why that shift matters in recovery My personal experience with the ED voice from its loudest point to where it lives now Why the voice often gets louder when you start recovering The beach ball analogy — why trying to "shut up" the ED voice backfires What actually moves the needle: building your own voice, not silencing theirs Why "if I can't fully recover, why even try?" is one of the most dangerous traps in recovery Practical tools for when the voice feels all-consuming Timestamps: 0:44 Intro & life update 3:22 Episode topic intro: the eating disorder voice question 7:19 What is the "eating disorder voice"? 10:56 Who asks this & why 13:39 My personal experience: the voice at its worst 14:38 Do I still have disordered thoughts? My honest answer 20:42 How I got to where I am today 28:06 The beach ball metaphor: giving the voice less space 32:24 My answer: yes and no 36:54 Practical tips if the voice is all-consuming 40:03 Outro Practical Tools Mentioned: Name it: label thoughts as "eating disorder thoughts" without immediately fighting them Hear it, don't obey it: acknowledge the ED voice and give yourself permission to have a different opinion Identify the feeling underneath: fear, panic, sadness — and ask what you need that isn't a behavior The "noise" technique: when all else fails, say it out loud — noise, noise, noise Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: eating disorder voice, does the ED voice go away, eating disorder recovery, quasi-recovery, ED voice recovery, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, recovery tools, ego syntonic, ego dystonic Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E32
    August 12 · 46 min

    not sick enough, extreme hunger, and finding your why — ED recovery Q&A | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 32

    Episode Description You sent in your questions and I'm answering them — honestly. This is part one of a two-part listener Q&A covering some of the most common and most loaded questions I get about eating disorder recovery. We're getting into ambivalence, finding your why, the "not sick enough" myth, comparison, extreme hunger, lost hunger cues, and how to sit with the panic that comes from increasing intake. In This Episode: "I want to want recovery but I don't" — what to do with that Why you don't need a strong why to start recovery Will it ever feel like the right time to choose recovery? Am I sick enough? Does hospitalization determine validity? Is this recovery or just restricting in better packaging? Comparison in eating disorders — why it's never a fair fight Why it's not about the food but eating the food is still so hard How to order at a restaurant when calories are on the menu Does extreme hunger really exist — or is it an excuse to binge? What to do when you've lost your hunger cues entirely How to sit with the panic that comes from increasing intake Timestamps: 0:00 Intro — YouTube subscriber goal 2:00 Today's episode — listener Q&A part one 3:00 Ambivalence — wanting to want recovery 6:00 The stages of change and where you might be 7:00 Finding your why — what if you don't have one? 10:00 Calculated risk — why you can't wait to feel ready 12:00 Will it ever feel like the right time? 13:00 How to actually commit to recovery 14:00 Am I sick enough? Does hospitalization determine validity? 17:00 High-functioning and still severely struggling 19:00 Is this recovery or restricting in better packaging? 21:00 Needing the disorder to feel special 23:00 Comparison in eating disorders 26:00 Why it's not about the food — but eating the food is still hard 28:00 Ordering at restaurants with calories on the menu 30:00 Does extreme hunger really exist? 36:00 Lost your hunger cues — the friend analogy 39:00 Sitting with panic after increasing intake 42:00 Closing thoughts — part two next week Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ code: PODCAST for $57 off Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@recoverwithchloe Keywords/Tags: not sick enough eating disorder, extreme hunger recovery, finding your why in ED recovery, eating disorder Q&A, am I sick enough, comparison eating disorder, hunger cues eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E31
    August 5 · 41 min

    stuck in ED recovery — things to try when nothing is working | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 31

    Episode Description If you've been doing all the things — therapy, dietician, meal plan — and still feel like you're spinning your wheels, this episode is for you. In this episode I'm sharing a practical, honest list of things to try when eating disorder recovery feels stuck. These are the gaps I've seen in standard treatment models, the things that have made the biggest difference for my clients and for me, and the approaches that might breathe some new life into your recovery if you're hitting a wall. In This Episode: Why recovering towards something — not just away from the ED — changes everything EMDR therapy and trauma — and why addressing the root might be the missing piece When to consider changing or adding to your treatment team Getting assessed for neurodivergence, OCPD, or OCD — and why it matters The "acting as if" technique — and why fake it till you make it actually works Auditing the information faucets in your life — what's helping and what's feeding the disorder Reducing decision fatigue around food — and why surrendering control is actually strength Timestamps: 0:00 Intro — burnout, pregnancy fatigue, and why I almost quit 5:00 Today's topic — what to try when recovery feels stuck 7:00 Recover towards something — adding non-recovery goals 11:00 EMDR therapy and complex trauma in eating disorders 17:00 When to change or add to your treatment team 21:00 Coaching as an addition to therapy 23:00 Getting assessed — neurodivergence, OCPD, OCD 28:00 The "acting as if" technique 31:00 Auditing your information faucets 34:00 Reducing decision fatigue — surrendering control is strength 38:00 Closing thoughts + availability for EMDR and coaching Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ One-on-one coaching intensives — 2 spots left before maternity leave: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/recover-with-chloe-coaching-application EMDR therapy in California — reach out: https://www.socalwellnessgroup.co/contact Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: stuck in eating disorder recovery, ED recovery plateau, EMDR eating disorders, eating disorder treatment options, neurodivergence and eating disorders, OCPD eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E30
    July 29 · 36 min

    it's okay to miss your eating disorder | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 30

    Episode Description Nobody talks about this part. But it's real, it's common, and it doesn't mean you're doing recovery wrong. In this episode I'm getting into what it actually means when you miss your eating disorder — why it happens, why it makes complete sense, and what to do with that feeling when it shows up. In This Episode: Why missing your eating disorder doesn't mean you want to go back What the eating disorder actually gave you — and why that's worth acknowledging The grief nobody warns you about in recovery Why recovery can feel worse than the disorder at certain stages Romanticizing the sick body — why it happens and how to protect yourself The two-list journal exercise for holding a balanced perspective Why grieving the eating disorder is actually a sign of recovery working What you're actually missing — and how to find it elsewhere Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 2:00 Today's topic — missing your eating disorder 3:00 Why this feeling is so confusing and so common 5:00 What the eating disorder actually gave you 10:00 When recovery feels worse than the disorder 13:00 If you're in that space — keep going 15:00 How this is showing up for me in this pregnancy 18:00 Romanticizing the sick body 22:00 What you're actually missing 25:00 Practical steps 27:00 The two-list journal exercise 28:00 Letting yourself grieve it 31:00 Recovering towards something 33:00 Closing thoughts The Two-List Exercise: List 1: everything you miss about the eating disorder. List 2: everything it took from you. Try to make the second list longer. If you can't — bring it to therapy. Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: missing your eating disorder, ED recovery grief, eating disorder recovery emotions, romanticizing eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, grief in recovery Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E29
    July 22 · 47 min

    dating in ED recovery — what nobody prepares you for | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 29

    Episode Description This is the episode I've been asked for since the beginning of this podcast — and the one I never thought I'd actually record. Dating in eating disorder recovery is complicated in ways nobody really talks about. The body image stuff. The intimacy stuff. The validation-seeking that can look a lot like the disorder wearing a different mask. And eventually finding someone who makes you feel like a whole person. In this episode I'm sharing all of it — including things I've never told the internet before. In This Episode: Why the eating disorder became my "new boyfriend" after a breakup The validation loop I fell into when I first started dating in recovery What it felt like to show up in a recovered body — body checking, disconnection during intimacy, comparison How I finally flipped the script on dating How I met my husband — including the text I sent trying to end it after date two How and when to tell someone about your eating disorder history What to do when a partner's food behaviors are triggering The self-inquiry practice that helps when body image comes up in intimacy Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 4:00 Today's topic — dating and intimacy in ED recovery 5:00 My high school relationship and self-worth 8:00 The breakup that contributed to my ED escalating 10:00 What dating looked like when I was deep in my disorder 14:00 The validation loop of dating apps 17:00 How that loop mirrored the eating disorder 19:00 What it felt like to date in a recovered body 23:00 Realigning to values in dating 27:00 How I met my husband 29:00 Telling someone about your ED history 33:00 When a partner's food behaviors are triggering 36:00 What my husband did differently 41:00 Self-inquiry for body image in intimacy 44:00 Closing thoughts Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: dating in eating disorder recovery, intimacy and eating disorders, body image and dating, ED recovery relationships, telling a partner about eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E28
    July 15 · 17 min

    the truth about life after eating disorder recovery | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 28

    Episode Description This one was unplanned. My son was in the hospital, life threw a curveball, and I had twenty minutes between sessions to record something real. So that's what this is. In this episode I'm sharing something I've never talked about on the podcast before — and getting honest about what life after recovery actually looks like. Not the highlight reel. The real version, where hard things still happen and you have to figure out how to keep showing up anyway. This is a shorter one, but I think it might be one of the most honest episodes I've recorded. In This Episode: What I never expected about life after eating disorder recovery Something personal I've never shared on the podcast before How recovery showed up for me during one of the hardest seasons of my life Why recovery doesn't mean life stops being hard — it just means you have something real to hold onto when it is What it actually looks like to choose yourself when everything is falling apart How to hold two completely opposite feelings at once — and why that's actually the skill What recovery gives you that the eating disorder only promised Timestamps: 0:00 Intro — a mini episode, recorded between sessions 2:00 Why this episode looks different this week 3:00 Something I've never shared on the podcast before 6:00 I thought the eating disorder was my big life battle. I was wrong. 8:00 How recovery showed up when life got really hard 12:00 What I did in the hospital cafeteria — and why it mattered 15:00 Recovery doesn't mean life stops being hard 17:00 What recovery actually gives you — control, safety, presence 19:00 How to hold hope and hardship at the same time 22:00 Closing thoughts — sending love to everyone doing this alongside hard things Quotes from This Episode: "Recovery doesn't mean everything in life is solved. It just means you are able to take care of yourself through it — and not compound the suffering that's just gonna be there because we're humans." "The eating disorder promises you control and peace and safety. Recovery actually puts you back in the driver's seat for all of those things." "There's gonna be hard times and there's gonna be good times. That's what it means to be a person." Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: life after eating disorder recovery, what recovery actually looks like, eating disorder recovery and hard times, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, holding hope in recovery, recovery and life challenges Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E27
    July 8 · 43 min

    "I'm done with recovery" — what that feeling is really telling you | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 27

    Episode Description If you've ever thought "I can't do this anymore" or "I just want my life to stop being about recovery" — this episode is for you. In this episode I'm breaking down the difference between recovery burnout and actually outgrowing your eating disorder, because they can feel almost identical from the inside — and they require completely different responses. One is a sign that recovery is working. The other is a sign you need something different. Knowing which one you're in changes everything. In This Episode: Recovery burnout vs outgrowing your ED — and why they feel so similar Signs you're in recovery burnout — hopelessness, resentment, progress feeling too slow Signs you're actually ready to outgrow the eating disorder The one question that tells you which phase you're in Why burnout doesn't mean recovery isn't working How to push through without quitting or doubling down harder Why diversifying your life is one of the best recovery tools When to talk to your team before making any decisions Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:00 Today's topic — recovery burnout 6:00 Recovery burnout vs outgrowing your ED 13:00 Signs you're in recovery burnout 18:00 What burnout is really asking for 19:00 Signs you're ready to outgrow the eating disorder 23:00 The donut story 26:00 The one question to ask yourself 28:00 What to do when you're in burnout 34:00 Recovery doesn't have to be your whole identity 36:00 Talk to your team before you quit 39:00 Closing thoughts Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: recovery burnout, treatment fatigue eating disorder, done with eating disorder recovery, ED recovery burnout, outgrowing eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E26
    July 1 · 49 min

    scales, weight comments, grief, and imposter syndrome — ED recovery Q&A | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 26

    Episode Description You sent in your questions and I'm answering them — honestly, not clinically. This is the real-life picture, not the textbook one. In this episode I'm getting into some of the most common and most loaded questions I receive from people in eating disorder recovery — from whether to look at the scale in treatment, to what to say when someone comments on your weight, to how to stop feeling like you're faking it because you actually ate today. In This Episode: Should you look at the scale during treatment? My honest take How to respond when someone comments on your weight — practically and emotionally How to support a partner with an eating disorder The earning mindset — what it is and how to break the loop The hardest thing I had to change in recovery — and it wasn't the food How to grieve what the eating disorder took from you Feeling like an imposter because you ate — why your disorder is still real How to handle friendships built around wellness culture Advice for someone one week into inpatient treatment Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:00 Listener Q&A begins 5:00 Q1: Should you look at the scale during treatment? 15:00 Q2: How do you respond to weight comments? 21:00 Q3: How do I support my girlfriend with an eating disorder? 25:00 Q4: How do you get out of the earning mindset? 30:00 Q5: What was the hardest change in your ED recovery? 32:00 Q6: How do you grieve what the eating disorder took? 36:00 Q7: I feel like an imposter because I eat — am I faking it? 39:00 Q8: Food disagreements with my husband 40:00 Q9: Handling wellness-focused friendships in recovery 44:00 Q10: Advice for adjusting to inpatient 46:00 Closing thoughts Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: eating disorder recovery Q&A, should you look at the scale in recovery, how to respond to weight comments, earning mindset eating disorder, ED recovery imposter syndrome, eating disorder grief, inpatient treatment advice, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E25
    June 24 · 41 min

    unexpected things my eating disorder taught me | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 25

    Episode Description It feels strange to say, but it's true: my eating disorder taught me things that have actually added to my life. Not the behaviors. Not the rules. But real, paradoxical lessons that I've carried with me into recovery and into the rest of my life. In this episode I'm sharing a casual list of the unexpected things I learned through my eating disorder — about my body, about planning, about self-compassion, about the power of my own brain. These lessons go way beyond food and body. They're really about being human. In This Episode: Why my body sends me signals long before my mind catches up — and how I use that now The hard lesson that planning doesn't always work — and what that shattered for me Why I had to learn that I'm allowed to change my mind Why you can't outsmart your emotions — and what happens when you try How powerful the brain really is — and how that power can work for you instead of against you Why self-criticism took me far but was never going to sustain me The shift from self-hate to self-compassion — and why one crushes you while the other carries you Why the lessons underneath an eating disorder are rarely about food and body at all Timestamps: 0:00 Intro — summer stress and a note for anyone struggling right now 4:00 Why this podcast is also personal reflection time for me 6:00 Today's topic — unexpected things my eating disorder taught me 6:30 Lesson 1: my body knows something is wrong before my mind does 12:00 How hypersensitivity became a tool instead of a problem 13:00 Lesson 2: planning does not always work 18:00 Cognitive dissonance and why the eating disorder became my way of avoiding a hard truth 19:00 Lesson 3: I am allowed to change my mind 23:00 Lesson 4: you can't outsmart your emotions 27:00 Why feelings are signals, not problems to solve 28:00 Lesson 5: how powerful the brain really is 31:00 Using that same mental power for something supportive 32:00 Lesson 6: self-criticism took me far, but it was never going to sustain me 35:00 The self-compassion research that changed how I think about motivation 38:00 Why these lessons go beyond food and body 39:00 Closing thoughts The Lessons, At a Glance: Your body often knows before your mind does — pay attention to the signals Planning gives you a sense of control, but it can't account for everything You're allowed to change your mind, and that's not failure You can't think your way out of feeling something — emotions need to move through you Your brain is incredibly powerful, and that power can be redirected toward something supportive Self-criticism can fuel you for a while, but self-compassion is what actually sustains you Quotes from This Episode: "There came a point where I realized I'm never going to get what this eating disorder is promising me. I need to find a different way to pursue my goals that doesn't require harming myself in the process." "Feelings aren't meant to be fixed. They're not problems to be solved. They're signals." "What used to feel like losing control — changing my mind, choosing a different course — now feels like actual control, autonomy, and freedom." A Note: If summer or anything in this episode is bringing something up for you, please know you're not alone in that, and support is available. In the US, the Crisis Text Line is reachable by texting HOME to 741741. If you're outside the US, a quick search for "eating disorder helpline" plus your country will point you to local specialized support. Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: what eating disorders teach you, eating disorder recovery lessons, self-compassion eating disorder, planning and control eating disorder, eating disorder and emotions, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, body awareness recovery, self-criticism vs self-compassion, eating disorder reflection Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E24
    June 17 · 42 min

    pregnancy, body changes, and eating disorder recovery — the part nobody talks about | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 24

    Episode Description I used to think pregnancy would give me a break from my eating disorder. That the permission to gain weight, to nourish my baby, would make it all feel easy. That's not quite how it went. In this episode I'm getting honest about what body changes in pregnancy actually feel like when you have an eating disorder history — the first trimester appetite chaos, the body dysmorphia on high alert, the awkward in-between phase where nothing fits, and the pressure to be the perfect pregnant person that nobody warned me about. This one is for anyone navigating pregnancy, postpartum, or body changes of any kind in ED recovery. The lessons here go way beyond pregnancy. In This Episode: Why I thought pregnancy would cure my eating disorder — and what actually happened First trimester appetite chaos — and what it stirred up mentally Why pregnancy triggers body dysmorphia like almost nothing else The awkward in-between phase where nothing fits — and the sensory challenge that comes with it The myth of the perfect pregnant person — and how perfectionism fills the void when the ED quiets Why relapse rates are highest during pregnancy and postpartum What it looks like to practice body neutrality during pregnancy The mantras I use when I don't love what I see in the mirror Why other people's opinions about your body say more about you than them How pregnancy has deepened my body trust — and what that means beyond pregnancy What I want my daughter to know about her body from day one Timestamps: 0:00 Intro + summer updates 2:00 Recovery Skills Training summer workshops 3:00 Today's topic — pregnancy, body changes, and ED recovery 5:00 A note for anyone whose fertility has been impacted by an eating disorder 8:00 Why these lessons apply beyond pregnancy 9:00 I thought pregnancy would fix my ED — here's what happened instead 11:00 First trimester appetite chaos and what it stirred up mentally 13:00 Food aversions, cravings, and eating consistently in recovery 15:00 Why pregnancy triggers body dysmorphia so intensely 17:00 The awkward in-between phase — when nothing fits but you're not showing yet 18:00 Body changes are supposed to happen — even when they're hard 20:00 The myth of the perfect pregnant person 22:00 Relapse rates in pregnancy and postpartum — why this is so common 24:00 Body changes nobody warned me about — the honest list 27:00 Being curious about body changes instead of critical 29:00 What are other people thinking about my body? — reframing that question 31:00 Taking your power back — shifting from external to internal 33:00 How pregnancy deepens body attunement 35:00 Listening to your body across all three trimesters 37:00 Mantras for hard body image days 40:00 What I want my daughter to know about her body 42:00 Body trust isn't about loving your body — it's about believing it knows what it's doing 43:00 Closing thoughts Mantras From This Episode: I am uncomfortable, and I can handle that. I don't like my body right now, and I can trust this process. I'm unhappy with these changes, and my happiness can be sourced elsewhere. Quotes from This Episode: "I thought pregnancy was going to be a vacation from my eating disorder. What ended up replacing it was the pressure to be the perfect pregnant person." "Body trust is not about loving your body. It's just about believing that it knows what it's doing and allowing that to lead." "If I believe that's true about my daughter — that her body has nothing to do with who she is — I've got to believe that's true about me." "One of the highest rates of relapse happens during pregnancy and postpartum. You're so not alone, and you're likely not doing anything wrong." Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: pregnancy and eating disorder recovery, body changes in ED recovery, eating disorder and pregnancy, body dysmorphia pregnancy, postpartum eating disorder relapse, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, body trust pregnancy, body neutrality pregnancy, quasi-recovery, pregnancy body image, eating disorder relapse postpartum Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

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  • S1 · E23
    June 10 · 46 min

    travel in ED recovery — my honest survival guide | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 23

    Episode Description Travel is one of the hardest things you can do in eating disorder recovery. New foods, broken routines, different meal times, swimsuits, pictures — it's a lot. And nobody really talks about how to actually get through it. In this episode I'm sharing my honest survival guide for traveling in ED recovery — from what it looked like when I was deep in my disorder on a family trip to Hawaii, to what it looked like this past month traveling to New York and Maryland fully recovered. The difference is everything. Whether you're in early recovery, somewhere in the messy middle, or further along and still noticing the eating disorder show up on trips — this one's for you. In This Episode: Why travel is one of the biggest pressure cookers for an eating disorder The Hawaii trip that showed me how much my eating disorder was already stealing from my life Why nothing reveals an eating disorder faster than being pulled from your routine How to handle the airport, time zones, and meal timing on travel days What my travel day actually looks like now — 11 years into recovery The "eating disorder is not invited" mindset trick — and how to use it How to find safe foods and guardrails for early recovery travel When to use travel as a recovery challenge — and how to approach it strategically Body image on vacation — swimsuits, less clothing, and how to prepare Why your body is not going to change as much as your eating disorder says it will How to flip the script from body-focused to experience-focused Timestamps: 0:00 Intro + business updates 2:00 Recovery Skills Training summer workshops announcement 3:00 Quasi-Recovery Exit group program update 4:00 Today's topic — travel in ED recovery 7:00 Why travel is so hard when you have an eating disorder 8:00 The Hawaii trip — what early disordered eating on vacation looked like 13:00 Missing ice cream with my family — how the ED steals moments 15:00 Why nothing reveals an eating disorder faster than leaving your routine 17:00 How uncertainty triggers the eating disorder nervous system 18:00 The airport — where travel anxiety starts 19:00 Time zones, meal timing, and the meal plan confusion 20:00 What my travel day actually looks like now 24:00 How to navigate travel days in early recovery 26:00 The "eating disorder is not invited" mindset trick 29:00 Preparation is everything — practical tips for packing and planning 31:00 Safe foods, guardrails, and when to challenge yourself 33:00 Using travel as a strategic recovery challenge 35:00 Finding a model person to eat alongside 36:00 Body image on vacation — swimsuits and less clothing 38:00 How to find a swimsuit that feels tolerable 40:00 Avoiding the mirror and packing for sensory comfort 41:00 Your body is not going to change as much as your ED says 43:00 Flipping the script — experience first, body last 45:00 Closing thoughts + summer workshop promo Practical Tips From This Episode: Talk to your dietician before you go — walk through your itinerary and plan meal timing together Stay on your home body clock on travel days until you adjust Pack familiar snacks so you always have a safe option available Use the "eating disorder is not invited" reframe — mentally leave it behind before you board Find a model person with a healthy relationship with food and follow their lead Practice wearing your swimsuit at home before the trip as a small exposure Pack clothes that feel comfortable and don't draw sensory attention to your body Avoid the mirror as much as possible on vacation Schedule a therapy session before you leave and when you return Use difficult moments on the trip as information to bring back to recovery — not as evidence you failed Quotes from This Episode: "Nothing reveals an eating disorder quicker than when a person is plucked from their routine." "Eating disorder, you are not invited. You will be staying home. I'll attend to you when I return." "Your body is not checking the time. Your body just knows — I need nourishment and I need it consistently." "The eating disorder makes your world so small. Travel is a reminder that the world is so much bigger than your eating disorder." Resources + Connect with Me: Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops: use code PODCAST57 for $57 off — https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ The Quasi-Recovery Exit — applications open: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-application Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: travel in ED recovery, eating disorder and vacation, summer travel eating disorder recovery, how to travel with an eating disorder, eating disorder routine disruption, vacation body image, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, quasi-recovery, food freedom travel, eating disorder summer, airport eating disorder recovery Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

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  • S1 · E22
    June 3 · 41 min

    why letting go of your eating disorder feels like losing yourself | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 22

    One of the biggest blocks in fully recovering from an eating disorder isn't the food. It's identity. In this episode I'm getting into something I've been circling around for a while but never done a full deep dive into — the way an eating disorder becomes a mask, a persona, a way of being seen in the world. And why letting go of it can feel terrifying even when you desperately want to. This one gets personal. We're going all the way back to a backwards baseball cap, through the eating disorder, and into what it's actually looked like for me to find out who I am without all of it. In This Episode: Why identity is one of the biggest blocks in full recovery The baseball cap story — and what it taught me about protection, power, and being seen What my ED behaviors were actually communicating to the world Why changing in recovery feels so exposing even when you want to The labels we try on after the eating disorder — and why they don't fill the void What it's looked like to find my identity at 31 The "I am a person who" assignment — and how to use it yourself What becomes possible when you stop trying to be who you think you should be Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 1:00 Life update 3:00 Today's topic: identity and eating disorder recovery 6:00 The backwards baseball cap — my first identity story 10:00 What the hat was really about 13:00 When I outgrew the persona but felt trapped in it 15:00 How this connects to the eating disorder 17:00 What my ED behaviors communicated to the world 20:00 Power, safety, and why we reach for external identity 22:00 The mask the eating disorder becomes 24:00 Why changing feels so exposing in recovery 28:00 The identity void recovery leaves 30:00 What I've discovered about myself since turning 30 32:00 The "I am a person who" assignment 35:00 Identity neutrality 37:00 What becomes possible when the ED stops taking up space 39:00 Closing thoughts Resources: Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ The Quasi-Recovery Exit (apply before summer session!): https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-application Instagram: @recoverwithchloe 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: eating disorder identity, letting go of eating disorder, eating disorder recovery identity, who am I without my eating disorder, eating disorder persona, identity in ED recovery, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, quasi-recovery, identity and eating disorders, eating disorder masks, self-discovery recovery Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

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  • S1 · E21
    May 27 · 48 min

    does intuitive eating work in eating disorder recovery? | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 21

    Episode Description Short answer: yes. Long answer: it's complicated, it takes time, and it definitely doesn't happen the way most people think it does. In this episode I'm getting into my own journey from restriction, to meal plan, to eventually finding something that actually feels like food freedom — and what every stage of that actually looked like. Including the messy middle, the slips, and the moments I started to actually trust my body again. Inspired by a comment questioning why I still eat six times a day at 11 years into recovery. Spoiler: it's not because I'm still on a meal plan. In This Episode: Why I don't recommend jumping straight into intuitive eating at the start of recovery My first experience with a dietician — and why my eating disorder hated her immediately The role of exposure therapy in rebuilding a relationship with food How fear foods actually lose their power over time The messy middle between meal plan and intuitive eating Why I still eat six times a day — and what that actually means How pregnancy deepened my ability to trust my body's cues What food freedom actually looks and feels like Timestamps: 0:00 Intro — back from New York City 2:00 What returning to NYC recovered felt like 5:00 Today's topic: does intuitive eating work in ED recovery? 6:00 Why I don't recommend starting with intuitive eating in early recovery 9:00 My first experience with a dietician 12:00 What finally made me surrender control to someone else 17:00 The role of exposure therapy in rebuilding a relationship with food 23:00 How to expand your zone of safety if treatment isn't accessible 26:00 The messy middle — when the meal plan starts to loosen 33:00 Why I still eat six times a day 36:00 How slips and relapses fit into this process 38:00 When life becomes bigger than food 41:00 How pregnancy deepened my body trust 46:00 Closing thoughts and resources Resources: 📚 Books: Intuitive Eating Eating in the Light of the Moon 📲 ED-Informed Dieticians to Follow: @michellepillepichnutrition @thehungryclementine @healthyshyla @diet.culture.rebel Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ The Quasi-Recovery Exit: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-application Instagram: @recoverwithchloe 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: intuitive eating eating disorder recovery, does intuitive eating work, meal plan to intuitive eating, food freedom eating disorder, rebuilding trust with food, eating disorder recovery food, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, fear foods, exposure therapy eating disorder, quasi-recovery, intuitive eating after restriction, body trust recovery Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

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  • S1 · E20
    May 20 · 47 min

    fear of weight gain, quasi-recovery, and social eating — your questions answered | recovered-ish with chloe cox

    You asked, I answered. I get so many DMs and comments with really good recovery questions that deserve more than a quick reply — so this week I'm doing a rapid fire Q&A covering some of the most common and most important ones I've received. We're getting into comparison, quasi-recovery, fear of weight gain, social eating, family dynamics, book recommendations, and more. This one is packed with honest, practical answers — no fluff, no sugarcoating. In This Episode: How to get out of a comparative mindset — and why comparison is never a fair fight How long quasi-recovery can last — and what finally takes you out of it Am I worried about raising a daughter as someone in ED recovery? Honest answer What to do when fear of weight gain feels completely all-consuming My top reason to choose recovery every day — and how that's changed over 11 years How to deal with family members that just don't get it How to cope with social eating — vacations, outings, dates Book recommendations for eating disorder recovery and self-help How to answer "how can I help?" from the people who love you An update on the second cohort of The Quasi-Recovery Exit Timestamps: 0:00 Intro + life update — new house, birthday, busy May 2:00 Quasi-Recovery Exit second cohort announcement 6:00 Today's episode: rapid fire recovery Q&A 7:00 Q1: How to get out of a comparative mindset 11:00 Why comparison is never a fair fight 12:00 Q2: How to maximize your time in residential treatment 15:00 Total transparency, surrender, and getting messy 16:00 Q3: Am I worried about raising a daughter? 20:00 What I'm doing to prepare and why it fuels my recovery 22:00 Q4: How long can quasi-recovery last — and what takes you out of it? 25:00 Q5: What do you do when fear of weight gain is all-consuming? 28:00 Why the only thing that worked was facing it head-on 29:00 Q6: What is my top reason to choose recovery every day? 31:00 How my reasons have changed over 11 years 32:00 Q7: How do you deal with unhelpful family comments? 35:00 When to educate and when to let it go 36:00 Q8: How do you cope with social eating — vacations, outings, dates? 39:00 Q9: Book recommendations 42:00 Q10: How to answer "how can I help?" from family 45:00 Closing thoughts Books Mentioned: Eating disorder recovery: Eating in the Light of the Moon – Anita Johnston The Eight Keys to Recovering from an Eating Disorder — Carolyn Costin Life Without Ed — Jenni Schaefer Goodbye Ed, Hello Me — Jenni Schaefer Intuitive Eating – Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole Self-help: The Power of Now — Eckhart Tolle A New Earth — Eckhart Tolle The Four Agreements — Don Miguel Ruiz The Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown No Bad Parts — Richard Schwartz General reads: The Secret History — Donna Tartt The Catcher in the Rye — J.D. Salinger Fame Sick — Lena Dunham Quotes from This Episode: "Comparing yourself to anyone is unfair. No matter how much you think you know about that person, you will never know as much about that person as you know about yourself." "Good enough isn't as good as it gets." "Your reason to choose recovery doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you." "The eating disorder is not invited on vacation." Resources + Connect with Me: The Quasi-Recovery Exit — applications open for June cohort: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-application Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: eating disorder recovery Q&A, fear of weight gain, quasi-recovery, social eating and eating disorders, eating disorder comparison, how to help someone with an eating disorder, eating disorder book recommendations, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, recovery questions answered, eating disorder family support, dating and eating disorders Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

    • Transcript
  • S1 · E19
    May 13 · 48 min

    muffins, missing the ED, and finding hope — reading my ED diaries part two | recovered-ish with chloe cox

    Back by popular demand — we're back in the journals. In this episode I'm reading more entries from my eating disorder treatment diaries. These are unfiltered, verbatim entries from residential, PHP, and IOP — the rawest, most honest documentation of what recovery actually looked like from the inside. This one goes to some dark places. There are entries about missing the disorder, about feeling like recovery wasn't worth it, about a muffin that sent me into a complete spiral. But there are also entries about light bulbs going off, about laughing again, about finding hope in the smallest moments. And it ends with the Eater's Agreement — a manifesto I wrote at the end of treatment that still holds up more than ten years later. If the first journal episode resonated with you, this one goes even deeper. In This Episode: Why I started doing these journal episodes — and why the response to part one floored me What residential treatment actually looked like for me — and why I want to acknowledge the privilege of having access to that level of care The emotional shutdown I experienced at the start of treatment — and when it finally broke open The life map entry — sharing my story in group for the first time and finally crying The identity crisis underneath the eating disorder — not knowing who I was or what I actually liked The Valentine's Day entry — one of my darkest moments in treatment The muffin entry — a spiral that started with a snack and ended with "I am not shit, I am the shit" Sneaking exercise in treatment — and being honest about the moments recovery wasn't perfect The PHP entry — when things finally started to shift and I started feeling happy again Quotes from This Episode: "It is comforting to have a physical manifestation of the source of my unhappiness. If that's taken from me, my failure and unhappiness becomes my fault." "I don't want this to be my story forever. I need to find my light and choose it." "A muffin should not have the power to make me feel worthless. I am powerful. I am more than this idiotic monster in my head. I am not shit. I am the shit." "There was so much pressure to make the right choice that it makes a lot of sense why I wanted to simplify my life and just think about food and just think about my body." Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ The Quasi-Recovery Exit: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-application Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube Keywords/Tags: eating disorder recovery journals, ED treatment diary, eating disorder treatment, residential treatment eating disorder, ED recovery real talk, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, eating disorder therapist, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder journals, what recovery really looks like, quasi-recovery, eating disorder treatment experience, ED diary, recovery motivation Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

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  • S1 · E18
    May 6 · 43 min

    my ugliest eating disorder thoughts — and what they actually meant | recovered-ish with chloe cox

    Episode Description Last week's episode sparked a lot of conversation online. I posted a clip about eating disorder recovery in the ozempic era and the comments absolutely exploded — and it got me thinking about something I've been wanting to talk about for a while. The thoughts I had in my eating disorder that I'm not proud of. The ones that would probably get me canceled if I posted them without context. The ones that felt so real at the time and are so clearly the disorder talking when I look back now. In this episode I'm unpacking each of those thoughts, where they actually came from, and what they say about the disorder — not about who I am or who you are. If you've had thoughts in your eating disorder that have made you feel like a bad person, this episode is directly for you. In This Episode: Why I posted about my ugliest ED thoughts on Instagram — and why the response floored me The core reframe: eating disorders are not personality traits How eating disorders distort your value system to make harmful behaviors feel moral and right Each of the ugly thoughts I had — unpacked honestly and without shame Feeling superior when eating less than others at the table — and what was really going on Feeling threatened when someone else's body changed — and the identity piece underneath it Believing hunger meant I was doing something right — and what that was really about Believing my body said something about my character — and the identity crisis driving it Thinking my therapist and dietician were jealous of me — and why the eating disorder needs you to believe that Not wanting a normal body — and why "just eat normally" was never going to land Thinking enjoying food made me weak — and the fear underneath it The darkest thought — and why it was depression talking, not who I was Why your eating disorder thoughts are not your identity — and what they actually are Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 1:00 What happened when I posted about the ozempic episode — and what it inspired 4:00 The core frame: eating disorders are not personality traits 6:00 How eating disorders distort your value system 8:00 Ugly thought #1: feeling superior when eating less than others 13:00 What self-control actually is — and what the eating disorder gets wrong about it 14:00 Ugly thought #2: feeling threatened when someone else's body changed 17:00 The identity and scarcity piece underneath that thought 18:00 Ugly thought #3: believing hunger meant I was doing something right 21:00 Interoception — and how the eating disorder distorts your body's cues 22:00 Ugly thought #4: believing my body said something about my character 26:00 Not knowing who I was — and trying to manufacture identity through my body 28:00 Ugly thought #5: thinking my therapist and dietician were jealous of me 30:00 Why the eating disorder needs you to believe everyone trying to help has an ulterior motive 32:00 Ugly thought #6: not wanting a normal body 35:00 Why "just eat normally" was never going to be comforting 37:00 Ugly thought #7: thinking enjoying food made me weak 40:00 Ugly thought #8: believing body change would be worse than not existing 43:00 Why that thought is depression — not character 45:00 You are not your eating disorder thoughts 47:00 Closing thoughts Quotes from This Episode: "The thing about self-control is you have to be in control of it. When you have an eating disorder, you're not in control of your self-control. That tyrant living in my brain was in control of it." "I was not actually better than anyone at the table. I was just the most afraid at the table." "The real problem was I did not know who I was — so I was trying to manufacture identity based on my body." "You are the one hearing the thoughts. You are not the thoughts."< Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

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  • S1 · E17
    April 29 · 40 min

    what actually causes an eating disorder? | recovered-ish with chloe cox

    One of the most common questions I get — from clients, from my own lived experience, from people who have spent years wondering — is this: why me? Why did I get an eating disorder when the people around me didn't? In this episode I'm getting into the real answer. Not the oversimplified version. The actual, nuanced, deeply personal answer — using my own story, my clinical experience, and the framework I use with clients in my group program The Quasi-Recovery Exit to help people understand themselves in a way that actually moves the needle in recovery. This one is a thinker. I hope it gives you some real clarity. This Episode Is Brought to You By Cozy Earth Cozy Earth makes the softest, most comfortable pajamas and bedding I’ve foung — and comfort in my body is something I don't compromise on anymore. Visit CozyEarth.com and use code RECOVERY for up to 20% off. In This Episode: Why I grew up with two sisters, in the same family, doing the same activities — and I'm the only one who got an eating disorder The genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger framework — and what it actually means for understanding your own story The specific temperament traits I was born with that made me vulnerable to an eating disorder How my performing arts high school became the environmental trigger that intensified those traits Why understanding what caused your eating disorder is actually one of the most powerful things you can do in recovery The identity conversation — how the traits your eating disorder co-opted are actually your greatest strengths Why you won't lose yourself when you recover — you'll finally find yourself How narrative therapy helps you make meaning of your story without shame What to do with the traits you don't want to give up in recovery A reframe for the question "what's wrong with me?" — and what to ask instead Timestamps: 0:00 Intro + new desk setup 2:00 Life update — pregnancy announcement followup, son's hospital stay, Disneyland plans 4:00 A note on binge urges and what they're actually telling you 6:00 Today's topic: what actually causes an eating disorder? 7:00 Growing up with two sisters — same family, same upbringing, only I got an eating disorder 10:00 Genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger 12:00 The temperament traits I was born with — drive, perfectionism, sensory sensitivity 16:00 Early signs of genetic predisposition — body awareness from a very young age 18:00 How performing arts high school became the environmental trigger 22:00 Competition, comparison, and the perfect storm that created my eating disorder 24:00 How to understand your own story through this lens 26:00 The identity conversation — temperament vs conditioning 28:00 Your eating disorder traits are actually your superpowers 30:00 Narrative therapy and making meaning of your story 32:00 What to ask yourself instead of "what's wrong with me?" 35:00 How to channel your traits toward recovery and growth 37:00 Closing thoughts Practical Reflection Questions From This Episode: What traits do I have that might have made me vulnerable to an eating disorder? What life circumstances intensified those traits or made the eating disorder necessary? What do I actually like about those traits — and do I want to keep them in recovery? Where do those traits show up in my life in ways that aren't harmful? Can I look back through my story with curiosity instead of criticism? Quotes from This Episode: "You don't have to become a different person to recover from your eating disorder. You just have to become who you've always been without the eating disorder casting a shadow over it." "Every trait that made you good at your eating disorder can make you amaz Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

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  • S1 · E16
    April 22 · 40 min

    the ozempic era is making ED recovery harder — my honest take | recovered-ish with chloe cox

    Episode Description First things first — I have some news. Big news. News that explains a lot of the cryptic, tired, off-kilter energy you've been picking up on these last few weeks. I'm pregnant. Baby number two is on the way and she is a girl. But after that announcement, we're getting into something I've been genuinely fired up about — because right now, in 2026, I believe this is one of the hardest moments in recent history to be in eating disorder recovery. The cultural noise around weight loss is louder than I have ever heard it. And I wanted to talk honestly about what that's like, what it stirs up, and how to actually stay the course when it feels like the whole world is doing the opposite. In This Episode: The big announcement — baby number two, and what being pregnant with a girl brings up for me as someone in ED recovery Why I believe right now is one of the hardest moments in history to be actively recovering from an eating disorder The cultural conversation around weight loss in 2026 — and why it feels so different from anything we've seen before The comparison to the nineties and early two thousands thin ideal — and why this moment feels even harder A client story about recovering while her parents were actively dieting — and what that taught me about staying the course when everyone around you is going a different direction Why choosing to eat adequately right now is genuinely a countercultural act The psychology behind why people without eating disorders get pulled into these cycles — and why understanding that actually helps Why GLP-1s and weight loss medications are a different conversation for people with eating disorder histories How to use a little healthy rebellion to protect your recovery Practical strategies for navigating social media, diet culture talk, and the cultural moment we're in Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 1:00 Reflecting on last week's body image episode 2:00 The big announcement — I'm pregnant 5:00 Having a girl — and what that brings up around passing on an eating disorder 7:00 Why right now is one of the hardest times in history to be in ED recovery 9:00 The cultural noise around weight loss in 2026 10:30 Comparing this moment to the nineties thin ideal 12:00 How we got here — and why it feels different this time 13:30 Choosing to eat adequately as a countercultural act 15:00 A client story: recovering while her parents were actively dieting 20:00 Putting yourself in the driver's seat of your own values 22:00 The psychology of why people without EDs fall into these cycles 24:00 Why GLP-1s are a different conversation for people in recovery 27:00 It's okay to feel frustrated that other people seem to have an easy solution 29:00 Practical strategies: resetting your algorithm, limiting social media 32:00 Clarifying your values around why nourishment matters to you 33:30 The internal scoff — giving yourself permission to know better 34:30 Finding your people and filling your feed with counterculture 35:30 Telling yourself you can wait it out 37:00 Closing thoughts — eat your food. you know better. Practical Strategies Mentioned: Limit or take breaks from social media — especially during high-exposure seasons like spring and summer Reset your algorithm intentionally — spend time actively liking content that feels safe and muting or reporting what doesn't Give yourself a pep talk before opening the apps — I know what I'm walking into and I know better Practice noticing when you're getting activated and log off at the first sign Write down what you're looking forward to this season that has nothing to do with your body Clarify your values — why does nourishing your body actually matter to you right now? Practice a little healthy internal rebellion — you've done enough work to see throu Resources + Connect with Me: Instagram: @recoverwithchloe Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off! Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts Subscribe on YouTube!

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Showing 1–20 of 23 episodes