Psychologically Speaking with Leila Ainge

Freedom to Fail with Responsible Rebel: Rebecca Cracknell

The Responsible Rebel: Risk, Identity and the Freedom to Fail with Rebecca Cracknell Psychologically Speaking | Hosted by Leila Ainge What if the biggest risk isn't doing something new, but staying exactly where you are? In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, I'm joined by Rebecca Cracknell, an Identity and Impact Coach who helps women question the rules they've inherited about success, ambition and how they're supposed to show up in the world. Rebecca describes herself as a responsible rebel. Someone who loves challenging expectations and asking 'what if?', but who also thinks carefully about the consequences of taking risks. We explore how her rebellious childhood became tangled up with other people's expectations, why becoming a mother changed her relationship with risk, and how leaving a 16-year teaching career opened up the possibility of building something on her own terms. Along the way, we get into the psychology of imposter experiences, perfectionism, self-trust and the difference between being visible and feeling exposed. And we ask whether the risk of staying somewhere that no longer fits might sometimes be greater than the risk of leaving. It's a conversation about being grateful but frustrated, learning to trust yourself and finding the freedom to be seen imperfectly. Because perhaps we don't need to become fearless to take risks. Perhaps we just need to recognise that we can figure things out along the way. In this episode, we explore: The responsible rebel: How rebellion and careful decision-making can coexist. Identity and expectations: What happens when being yourself is interpreted as being difficult? Motherhood and reinvention: How new identities can both constrain and expand our sense of possibility. The risk of staying still: Why security and satisfaction aren't necessarily the same thing. Imposter experiences and perfectionism: Who do we allow to see us fail? Visibility versus exposure: Why sharing vulnerably online doesn't mean sharing everything. Self-trust: How questioning the stories we tell ourselves can help us move forward. Meet Rebecca Cracknell Rebecca Cracknell is an Identity and Impact Coach working with women who are ready to challenge expectations, embrace their ambition and build businesses and lives that reflect who they really are. Through mentoring, group programmes and workshops, she encourages women to question the 'shoulds' they've inherited and rethink what's possible. Rebecca also hosts A Woman's Guide to Starting Fires, a podcast exploring what lights women up and what they're ready to leave behind. Connect with Rebecca Instagram: @rebeccalcracknell Website: rebeccacracknell.co.uk Podcast: A Woman's Guide to Starting Fires — available on podcast platforms. Join The Winter Reflection Room Before you decide whether you've had a good year, isn't it worth questioning what you've been measuring it against? The Winter Reflection Room, What Counts?, begins on 9 November 2026. Over eight weeks, we'll bring together carefully curated contemporary art by women artists, psychology, poetry and thoughtful questions to explore achievement, meaning and the things we often overlook. You'll receive weekly emails, audio reflections and invitations to two live online gatherings. £49 for the full eight weeks. Find out more at leilaainge.co.uk/ And if you'd like a taster, listen to the four mini Reflection Room episodes already available in the Psychologically Speaking podcast feed.

Lost in Translation? With Dominique van Werkhoven

Lost in Translation? The Psychology of Language, Creativity and Belonging With Dominique van Werkhoven, co-founder of The Werks Are we the same person in every language we speak? And what happens when the words we have available don't quite allow us to express who we are? In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, I'm joined by Dominique van Werkhoven, copywriter, content strategist and co-founder of The Werks, a digital marketing agency specialising in story-led marketing for cross-cultural brands. Dominique is a Londoner who has made her home in France, Austria and the Netherlands. She speaks English, French and Dutch, and has a wonderful curiosity about how language works, how stories travel between cultures, and what we learn about ourselves along the way. We start with childhood storytelling, a love letter written on Care Bears stationery and the rather unexpected consequences of learning Dutch from teenagers. But our conversation takes us somewhere deeper. Dominique shares her experiences of writing publicly, the racism she encountered after appearing in the British press, and the additional work that can come with being visible in spaces that haven't always welcomed you. We also get curious about the psychology. Does speaking more than one language make us more creative? What role does cognitive flexibility play? And how do metaphors, humour and cultural references change when we move between languages? Along the way, we explore the tension between fitting in and standing out, the importance of finding spaces where we feel safe enough to express ourselves, and what it really means to find your voice. In this episode, we explore: The relationship between multilingualism, creativity and cognitive flexibility. Why learning a language is about much more than vocabulary. Code-switching, cultural identity and expressing different parts of ourselves. The psychology of storytelling, metaphors and shared meaning. Visibility, racism and the unequal costs of putting ourselves out into the world. Why belonging shouldn't require us to flatten the things that make us different. It's a conversation about words, but perhaps even more about what happens when we feel able to use them. Find out more about Dominique and The Werks: https://thewerks.nl/about/ Explore more of Dominique's writing: Nomad Sixty-One — reflections on belonging, identity and finding your voice across cultures. Psychologically Speaking is hosted by psychologist Leila Ainge, exploring the psychology behind how we think, feel and behave. Join The Winter Reflection Room Before you decide whether you've had a good year, isn't it worth questioning what you've been measuring it against? The Winter Reflection Room, What Counts?, begins on 9 November 2026. Over eight weeks, we'll bring together carefully curated contemporary art by women artists, psychology, poetry and thoughtful questions to explore achievement, meaning and the things we often overlook. You'll receive weekly emails, audio reflections and invitations to two live online gatherings. £49 for the full eight weeks. Find out more at leilaainge.co.uk. And if you'd like a taster, listen to the four mini Reflection Room episodes already available in the Psychologically Speaking podcast feed.

What are you protecting and why? | Reflection Room August

A glass gold gilded conker from Effie Burns collection is the inspiration for our final reflection room taster session. We are thinking about what brings out our prickly side, what are we protecting and why? I also share details of the Reflection Room, starting on 14th September, details here on how to sign up https://www.leilaainge.co.uk/reflectionroom https://www.effieburnsglass.co.uk

Could One Room Tell Your Story? | Reflection Room August Week 3

What if a room could become a self-portrait? This week in the Reflection Room, psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge pairs a painting by Lottie Cole with a simple but thought-provoking reflection about identity, environment and the spaces we quietly create around ourselves. Drawing on psychology, art and everyday observation, this episode invites you to look differently at the rooms you spend time in and to consider what they might reveal about who you are and who you're becoming. Perfect if you're looking for a few minutes of calm reflection, creative thinking and a gentle psychological prompt to carry into your week. https://lottiecole.com/ https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-britain/sargent-and-fashion https://thehomepage.co.uk/the-art-of-home/

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What Threshold Are You Standing On? | Reflection Room August Week 2

What happens when you've left one chapter behind but haven't quite arrived at the next? Inspired by Frances Featherstone's Dower House from her Threshold series, this Reflection Room episode explores the psychology of liminality—the in-between spaces where identity, perspective and possibility begin to shift. https://www.francesfeatherstone.co.uk/paintings

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Are You Leaving Yourself Out of Your Own Story? | Reflection Room August Week 1

What stories have you inherited about where you belong? This week's reflection uses art and psychology to help you revise your own narrative. Join psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge for the first Reflection Room prompt, where psychology, art and curiosity come together to help you see yourself—and your work from a different perspective. Inspired by Coral Woodbury's Revised Edition series and the work of artist Lubaina Himid, this episode explores how the stories we inherit shape our sense of identity, belonging and possibility. Drawing on ideas from social identity psychology, Leila reflects on why representation matters, how assumptions influence the way we see ourselves, and why some of our most meaningful insights arrive when we're walking, wandering or simply paying attention. Listeners are invited to consider one simple but thought-provoking question: Where could your contribution be revised? Through a guided reflection and an optional creative activity, this episode encourages you to notice where you may have underestimated yourself, overlooked your own potential, or quietly written yourself out of opportunities before anyone else had the chance. Perfect for anyone who enjoys reflective practice, psychology, art and evidence-informed personal development, this is an invitation to spend fifteen minutes looking again at the story you're telling yourself and whether it's time for a revised edition. https://artuk.org/discover/curations/art-design-gcse-2026-theme-woman https://artuk.org/discover/stories/seven-questions-with-coral-woodbury https://vimeo.com/665634788?fl=pl&fe=sh - video interview with Coral Woodbury Cover art credit : collage made by Leila Ainge, including Photo by Dan Farrell on Unsplash, Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash , Photo by Samuel Regan-Asante on Unsplash

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Evidence Over Ego: Why Curiosity Leads to Better Decisions

How do we make better decisions when certainty is impossible? In this solo episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge explores why confidence isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking better questions. Drawing on psychology, decision-making research and reflections from this season's conversations, Leila explains why our brains crave certainty, how identity and ego can shape the way we respond to new information, and why curiosity is one of the greatest advantages we can develop. You'll discover: Why certainty can sometimes hold us back The psychology behind ego, identity and confirmation bias Why "the evidence is mixed" is one of a researcher's favourite phrases How psychology, art and reflection help us see problems differently Why research doesn't replace intuition—it strengthens it How to make better decisions by gathering perspectives, not just opinions Whether you're leading a business, launching something new or navigating an important decision, this episode will help you think differently about risk, evidence and the stories we tell ourselves. 📩 If you'd like support exploring a complex question through a psychological and research-informed lens, contact Leila at leila@aingeconsulting.co.uk.

63. Build What the World Needs - Tif Bryant on innovation and risk.

What if the biggest risk isn't failing—but standing still? In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge is joined by entrepreneur, UK Innovator Founder visa holder and CEO of The Doula Hive, Tif Bryant. Growing up in poverty, becoming a teenage mum and leaving school early weren't the end of Tif's story. After building a successful birth business in the United States, she made the bold decision to sell everything, move her family across the world and start again. Today she's building The Doula Hive a technology platform designed to transform the birth care industry through better infrastructure, data and community. Together they explore: Why stagnation became the biggest risk in Tif's life The psychology of entrepreneurship and innovation What motherhood teaches us about leadership and resilience Why women underestimate the skills they develop through parenting The future of maternity care and birth support How data, technology and community could improve outcomes for families This conversation goes far beyond birth. It's about identity, purpose, entrepreneurial courage and what happens when you stop waiting for someone else to build the future you know is possible.

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62. The Five-Figure Decision. The psychology of risk taking with Niki Hutchison and Leila Ainge

What does it really mean to invest in yourself? In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila is joined by marketing strategist and entrepreneur Niki Hutchison, founder of Enjoy Marketing®. With more than 25 years in marketing strategy and two six-figure businesses behind her, Niki helps founder-led businesses become known for what they do best. Together, they explore the psychology behind investing in yourself, taking business risks and building a business that reflects who you are. They discuss why some investments exceed expectations while others don't, how to think about return on investment beyond money, and why the greatest opportunities often come from the people you meet rather than the programme you buy. The conversation also explores identity, imposter experiences, group belonging and why so many entrepreneurs hesitate to put themselves in the rooms where growth happens. Drawing on Leila's research in social identity alongside Niki's experience helping thousands of business owners grow through strategic marketing, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on confidence, visibility and backing yourself. Whether you're considering joining a membership, investing in coaching, launching a new offer or simply wondering if you're ready for your next step, this conversation will challenge the way you think about riskand what it really means to invest in yourself. Make your success inevitable - https://www.nikihutchison.com/ Adventures in Marketing https://www.adventuresinmarketing.uk/ Leila's adult inset day - Sept 15th - sign up here https://psychologicallyspeaking.myflodesk.com/adultinsetday

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60. The patriarchy has been squatting in my temple - Emma While

What happens when body shame isn't actually about your body? This week I'm joined by coach and facilitator Emma While, who decided to evict what she calls "the patriarchy squatting in my temple" by taking a beginners' burlesque class at 49. We talk about shame, visibility, motherhood, neurodivergence, identity, and why the scariest risks are sometimes the ones that bring us closest to ourselves. What follows is a conversation about far more than burlesque. We explore shame, motherhood, neurodivergence, identity, imposter experiences and why confidence isn't something you have—it's something you experience. And we ask what becomes possible when shame stops making your decisions. https://www.courageandchamomile.com/become Join the waitlist for Leilas adult inset day on September 15th here: https://psychologicallyspeaking.myflodesk.com/adultinsetday

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61. She quit the job she'd worked years to get. - Louise Duncum

Louise Duncum spent nearly a decade designing for major high street fashion brands before realising she'd become successful at something that no longer felt like her. In this episode we talk about leaving, comparison, taking on debt to grow a business, multiple identities, and why building a business that reflects who you are is riskier, but far more rewarding, than staying where you no longer fit. https://weizstyles.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/weizstylespersonalstylistlondon/ https://www.instagram.com/weizstyles

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59. Backing Yourself When the Stakes Are High

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge is joined by strategic advisor and facilitator Rachel Cashman to explore the relationship between imposter phenomenon, risk taking, legitimacy, and trust. Rachel has worked across government, healthcare, defence, and the life sciences, helping leaders navigate high-stakes conversations, organisational conflict, and complex people dynamics. Together, Leila and Rachel unpack what it means to trust your gut, how women learn to scan for risk, and why imposter experiences may actually sharpen our awareness rather than diminish our capability. The conversation explores: imposter phenomenon and legitimacy psychological safety and leadership gut instinct and decision making risk scanning and strategic thinking women, visibility, and authenticity rumination, reflection, and leadership decision making Rachel also shares the story of turning down a major contract despite financial pressure because her instincts told her something wasn’t right and how experience, strategy, and bodily awareness all played a role in that decision. This episode is for leaders, freelancers, entrepreneurs, coaches, and anyone navigating visibility, uncertainty, or the feeling of asking: “Who am I to be here?” https://fearlessfacilitator.co.uk/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-cashman-b310557/ https://open.spotify.com/show/4XZmHkp5geqXz74qaHGPPq

Why Does This Feel So Hard? | Imposter Phenomenon, Risk & the Psychology of Difficult Things

Why do some things feel emotionally bigger than they “should”? In this bonus episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge introduces The Hard Thing Challenge — a free five-day reflection challenge exploring the psychology behind difficult tasks, imposter feelings, avoidance, identity, and risk. This episode also introduces the next season of Psychologically Speaking. You’ll also get: – details of Leila's free 5 day challenge. – an introduction to The Reflection Room – details on how the challenge works – and a preview of the new podcast season exploring imposter phenomenon through the lens of risk Join the challenge at www.leilaainge.co.uk

58. Your Whole Axis Shifts: What Grief Changes About Work and Life

What happens when loss changes everything—not just emotionally, but structurally? In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge is joined by wellbeing consultant and psychotherapist Chrissy Orson to explore grief, identity shifts, and the moment your life no longer fits the way it used to. After losing both her sister and father within weeks during lockdown, Chrissy shares how grief didn’t just affect her personally—it completely changed how she saw work, time, family, and what actually matters. We talk about the psychology of grief, why many women “keep going” until they hit a wall, and how organisations often fail people at the moments they most need support. This is a conversation about loss—but also about clarity, boundaries, and building a life that reflects what you now know to be true. We cover: Grief, trauma, and identity shifts Why women keep going (even when they shouldn’t) The hidden admin and emotional labour of loss Psychological safety at work during life events Why flexible working often isn’t truly flexible Therapy vs coaching—and when you actually need each Link to EMDR explainer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIJZQAr9nQo You can find Chrissy at: Chrissy Orson MBACP (Accred) | She / Her | www.chrissyorson.co.uk

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57. Off the Beaten Path: Identity, Belonging & Building a Career That Actually Fits

What happens when your life doesn’t follow the path you thought it would? A conversation on identity, belonging, and the courage to build a career that doesn’t look right on paper but feels right in your life. In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, I’m joined by coach and podcast host Fiorenza Rossini to explore identity, belonging, and the unexpected turns our careers can take. From financial engineering to full-time coaching, Fiorenza shares what it means to step away from “safe” career paths and build a life that aligns with your values. We talk about the psychology of belonging, multicultural identity, working parenthood, and why so many of us feel like we don’t quite fit until we find the right spaces. If you’ve ever questioned your career, your direction, or where you belong, this conversation will feel like a deep exhale. We cover: Career pivots and “non-linear” success Identity shifts (especially motherhood and work) The psychology of belonging and community Why traditional paths don’t fit everyone What actually drives fulfilment (hint: not just money)

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What if interviews don’t just reveal what we think… but actually change it?

We often assume interviews are a way of capturing what people already think. But qualitative psychology suggests something different. Interviews can be active sites of meaning-making, where thoughts are not just shared, but formed in real time. Drawing on ideas like the double hermeneutic from Anthony Giddens and reflexive approaches to qualitative research, I reflect on what it means to ask questions that might shift how someone understands their own experience. As an insider researcher studying online communities I belong to, this raises a deeper question: what trace does research leave behind? This episode explores: Why interviews are not neutral data collection tools How questions can shape reflection and self-understanding The role of reflexivity in qualitative research The ethical tension between insight and influence What happens when someone thinks something for the first time… out loud If you’re a researcher, writer, coach, or simply curious about how we make sense of our experiences, this episode invites you to listen a little more closely to the pauses.

I Refuse to Hate Myself: Emma Seville on 'Starting Again'

“I refuse to hate myself in any way… I hope women reclaim ageing as a gift.” When everything shifts at once, home, body, identity, what does it take to rebuild a sense of safety and self? Leila Ainge and Emma Seville explore menopause, midlife transitions, and the psychology of starting over. In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist Leila Ainge speaks with menopause coach Emma Seville about navigating unexpected life changes, financial precarity, ADHD, and the psychological impact of midlife transitions. Together, they explore agency, belonging, and how women can reclaim ageing as a powerful, identity-shaping experience.

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Bonus: Everything we know is shaped by where we stand in the world.

Hi, I’m Leila, and I’m currently doing a PhD exploring the experiences of women who are independent workers, including entrepreneurs, freelancers, and the self-employed, who use online communities as part of their working lives. My first study is collecting data through a series of interviews with women and community hosts across two online communities where I’m also a paying member. These are spaces I didn’t join as a researcher, but as someone looking for connection, support, and belonging in independent work. Alongside the research itself, I’ll be keeping a series of blog posts as part of my reflexivity practice. These posts will sit under a little series I’m calling Field Notes (from the Inside) reflections on researching communities I belong to, in real time.

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55. From War Zones to Motherhood: The Unexpected Path to Building a Business

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge speaks with entrepreneur Femke Harris about the unexpected twists that shape our lives. From growing up as a third-culture kid in Hong Kong to managing operations on a NATO base in Afghanistan, Femke’s career path has been anything but predictable. Together they explore the psychology of resilience, identity and adaptation when life doesn’t follow the plan we imagined. Femke shares how major life transitions – moving countries, career pivots, motherhood and COVID-era uncertainty – ultimately led her to create the Merry-go-round Club, a sustainable baby equipment rental service designed to support parents and reduce waste. This conversation explores how unexpected change can strengthen confidence, reshape identity and open the door to meaningful work. Topics include resilience, entrepreneurship, motherhood, community support, and the psychology of adapting when life throws curveballs. Femke Harris: "I'm a third culture kid, mother, founder and former international operations lead. I’ve lived and worked across Hong Kong, Belgium, the UK, Afghanistan and France including senior roles managing sales strategy in APAC and logistics contracts in complex environments. Along the way I’ve navigated motherhood, global relocations, and major life transitions, and more recently founded my own business. My path has been defined less by planning and more by adaptation.” https://merrygoround.club/

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54. Can Digging in the Dirt Really Improve Your Mental Health? : The Science of Gardening and Wellbeing

What if one of the most powerful mental health tools was already in your garden? In this episode, I’m joined by horticultural therapist Kendall Marie Platt to explore the science behind soil, why getting your hands in the dirt can change your mood, and how gardening might help us regulate stress in ways modern life often forgets. And in many ways, Kendall’s story captures the spirit of this season’s theme: expect the unexpected. From forensic science labs to flowers and soil, her journey is a reminder that sometimes the paths we never planned are the ones that reconnect us with what really matters. Kendall Marie Platt is a horticultural therapist and founder of Adventures with Flowers. She combines horticultural therapy with sensory-led garden design to help people use gardening as a practical antidote to burnout. Through her membership The Seed, 1:1 programmes and garden-along sessions, she helps people create restorative spaces that support both body and mind. She is a writer, speaker and facilitator who has appeared on This Morning, BBC Radio and in publications including The Independent, The Telegraph, Happiful and Reclaim. www.adventureswithflowers.com/aboutkendall Leila Ainge is a psychologist, researcher and coach who helps people use psychology to work with more clarity, confidence and joy. Her work brings together research, reflection and practical insight so you can use evidence in ways that make sense for you. More details at www.leilaainge.co.uk