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Proxy with Yowei Shaw

Yowei Shaw

Proxy investigates the emotional mysteries that run our lives and world — sometimes by finding someone who gets it, sometimes by reporting from the emotions beat. Hosted by Yowei Shaw, former co-host and editorial lead of Invisibilia.


Follow the show so you don’t miss the next case. 


Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com


If you’re new, try: Bisexual Wife Guy, Yowei Can't Speak Bro, or Jane Doesn't Like Her Dogs.

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  • 26 episodes
  • fortnightly
  • Avg 44 min
  • English

Episodes 26

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  • Aug 26, 2025 · 30 min

    Sandy and the Silence

    An Emotions Beat investigation about what silence sounds like when your rights are under attack. After Trump’s reelection, Sandy Ernest Allen watched attacks on trans rights escalate — and waited for more cis people to say something. Check in. Show up. Make noise. But mostly, he heard silence. Then Sandy did something counterintuitive. Instead of asking why people didn’t care, he asked cis people what made them start caring about trans rights. Hundereds of people answered. In this episode, Yowei and Sandy investigate what’s hiding inside the silence: overwhelm, shame, fear of saying the wrong thing or looking performative, and the dangerous assumption that someone else will handle it. And Sandy makes the case for allyship that is loud, imperfect, and badly needed. From the episode: — Sandy Ernest Allen — writes the newsletter What's Helping Today: www.sandyernestallen.com — "To Cis People Who Feel Despair" — Sandy's guide to supporting trans people — The post on Bluesky: @sandyernestallen — Support Sandy's writing: https://buymeacoffee.com/sandyallen New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro for another story about what it takes to keep caring when the world is horrifying. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org to get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

  • Aug 12, 2025 · 36 min

    How to Cope with Now

    An Emotions Beat episode about how to keep caring without falling apart. Anya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings. In this episode, Yowei talks with Anya about what she's learned from scientists, activists, psychologists, and thinkers about how to live through crises upon crises. Together, they investigate compassion fatigue, psychic numbing, fear, denial, burnout, joy, collective action, and why coping with now doesn't mean looking away — it means moving through the hard feelings to keep taking action. From the episode: — Anya Kamenetz — writer of the newsletter The Golden Hour — We Are the Great Turning — a podcast she produced with eco-spiritual teacher Joanna Macy, about love, courage, and connection in the climate crisis New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming and it starts to take over how you feel For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org to get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

  • Jul 15, 2025 · 37 min

    Zakiya Used to Be So Fun

    The case of the people person who fell out of love with people. Zakiya Gibbons used to love strangers, nightlife, and somehow always ending up on a boat. Then lockdown happened. And somewhere in that solitude, Zakiya discovered something alarming: she loved being alone. And when the world opened back up, the things that used to light her up — parties, small talk, new people — made her anxious instead. Zakiya wants to know: is this just who she is now? Or can she get back to the open, exuberant, people-loving version of herself? In this episode, Yowei finds Zakiya a proxy: personality researcher Bill Chopik, who studies how people change over time. Together, they investigate whether personality is fixed, what it takes to change, and how to know when you’re honoring who you are versus accidentally becoming someone you don’t want to be. From the episode: — Zakiya Gibbons — on Instagram @zak_sauce — more of her work: www.zakiyagibbons.com — Dr. William Chopik — studies relationships and personality — more about his research: www.chopiklab.com, Bluesky @Chops310, X @Chops310 New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head for a story about. losing access to a part of yourself you thought was permanent. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org to get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

  • Jul 1, 2025 · 53 min

    Amanda and the Nonstop Narrator

    The case of the writer whose inner narrator will not shut up. Amanda Montell is very good at telling stories. So good, in fact, she can’t seem to stop telling them — even to herself. Amanda has what she calls a “Storymaker” in her head: an internal narrator constantly shaping her life into scenes, arcs, jokes, metaphors, and meaning. Most of the time, it’s fun. It makes life feel cinematic. It’s useful for her writing. But lately, Amanda has been wondering if the Storymaker is doing too much. Is she actually living her life, or narrating it from the outside? In this episode, Yowei connects Amanda with Jonathan Adler, a psychologist who studies narrative identity. Together, they investigate inner monologues, memory, meaning-making, theater kids, and whether Amanda can negotiate a different relationship with the voice in her head. From the episode: — Amanda Montell — author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut, and host of the podcasts Magical Overthinkers and Sounds Like a Cult — on Instagram@amanda_montell — Jonathan Adler — personality psychologist — more about his work: www.jonathan-adler.com X @JonathanMAdler, Bluesky @jadler.bsky.social, and LinkedIn New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head for another story about trying to keep making art when the old way stops working. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org to get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

  • Jun 17, 2025 · 50 min

    Brian Can't Stop Fact-checking His Mother-In-Law

    The case of the reporter who can't stop fact-checking his mother-in-law. Brian’s mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s and lives with his family. He loves her. He knows she can’t help misremembering things. And still, when she says something that isn’t true, he corrects her. In this episode, Yowei connects Brian with Claudia Drossell, a psychologist who works with caregivers of people with dementia. Together, they investigate the emotional reality of caregiving: grief, resentment, shame, and how to accept his anger so he can protect the time his family has left. From the episode: — Brian Reed — host of the podcast Question Everything — on Instagram @brihreed, X @BriHReed — Claudia Drossel — psychology p rofessor at Eastern Michigan University — caregiving resources mentioned in this episode New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or.Jane Doesn't Like Her Dogs for another story about love, caregiving, and resentment. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

  • Jun 3, 2025 · 45 min

    Is It Time To Break Up the Band?

    The case of the bandmates who can't finish their record and don't know why. Evan and Chris are best friends, bandmates, and creative partners. Years ago, their band The Superweaks was on the verge of breaking out. Then Evan's brother Corey — the band's bassist — died suddenly, and the band never recovered. Now they have a record that's almost done. Just a few vocals left. But it's been stuck for years, tangled in grief, burnout, ADHD, resentment, lack of leadership, and silence. In this episode, Yowei connects Evan and Chris with Ryan Dusick, founding drummer of Maroon 5 turned therapist, to investigate what happens when a band is also a friendship, a dream, a workplace, and a family system — and what it takes to get unstuck. From the episode: — The Superweaks — listen to their single "Blindside" and The Superweaks Superweekly Supercast episode where Yowei stumbles into the case — on Instagram @thesuperweaks — Ryan Dusick — author of Harder to Breathe: A Memoir of Making Maroon, Losing It All, and Finding Recovery, and host of The Harder To Breathe podcast — on Instagram @ryan_michael_dusick — The Music Industry Therapist Collective: www.musicindustrytherapists.com New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for another story about friendship and miscommunication. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org. Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏 Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw Visit — proxypodcast.com Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Showing 21–26 of 26 episodes