On Attachment

#50: Navigating Perfectionism in Anxious-Avoidant Relationships

Feb 22, 2023 · 20 min · 15.1 MB
0:00-20:58

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In this episode, I'm talking all about perfectionism - but probably not in the way you've heard it spoken about before. Perfectionism is often thought of as a personality quirk - a commitment to high achieving and having things a certain way. But when it comes to relationships, perfectionism can be a powerful protective strategy that keeps us from being seen and known as our authentic selves.  

We cover:

  • how anxiously attached people hold themselves to standards of perfection as a way to gain and keep someone's interest
  • how avoidantly attached people use perfectionism & criticism as a distancing strategy to avoid intimacy & vulnerability
  • what happens when these strategies collide in an anxious-avoidant dynamic

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