Neuroshambles

Mark Allen

Neuroshambles is a UK parenting podcast about raising neurodivergent children. Hosted by lapsed comedian Mark Allen, this show explores autism parenting, ADHD, PDA, SEND, school struggles, family life and parental wellbeing through honest, relatable conversations - often with a healthy dose of humour, but always grounded in lived experience.

Mark is raising three neurodivergent children and chats with parents, carers, advocates and professionals about the everyday challenges some families face. These aren’t lectures or masterclasses, but candid tales from the front line of parenting neurodivergent kids, as guests swap stories about what works for them - and just as importantly, what definitely doesn’t. Topics range from meltdowns, PDA-related demand avoidance and dealing with authorities, to holidays, mealtimes and the logistical chaos of daily life.

Neuroshambles is for UK parents and carers who want something that feels human - supportive without being preachy, practical without being clinical. The aim isn’t to provide all the answers, but to shine a light on the absurdities and difficulties of a family life shaped by neurodivergence, offering connection, reassurance and the comfort of knowing you’re not the only one struggling to make sense of things.

New episodes are released fortnightly.

Check out more information on the Neuroshambles website: www.neuroshambles.com

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62 episodes
Updated July 22
Explicit

Episodes62

Newest first

Jul 9, 2025 · 1 hr 20 min
Swimming | Hatty Ashdown
For autistic children - or those with ADHD, PDA, and other forms of neurodivergency, swimming can be simultaneously a magical sensory experience and an absolute logistical nightmare. Hatty Ashdown joins Mark to dive into the deceptively simple but totally chaotic world of swimming. From the infuriating act of trying to get them to swim in the first place, to negotiating the changing room routine, navigating the lockers and dealing with their antics in the pool, Mark and Hatty share candid and hilarious tales of what it’s like to take your neuro-exceptional brood swimming - and why we keep doing it, despite the enormous faff. This is a funny, heartfelt and painfully relatable episode about parenting neurodivergent kids that is well worth a listen if you've ever had to try to retrieve your child from inside a locker. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Hatty Ashdown 06:00 - Topic of the Week: Swimming 09:00 - Why do neurodivergent kids love swimming? 15:00 - The challenge of teaching neurodivergent kids to swim 30:30 - The massive faff of a swimming trip: Hatty's routine 37:00 - The massive faff of a swimming trip: Mark's routine 42:00 - The chaos of changing rooms 46:30 - The stress of the lockers 53:00 - Shenanigans in the pool 59:30 - Losing their goggles 1:04:00 - The Positives: the joy of swimming 1:08:00 - Neurodiversity champions 1:12:00 - Tiny epic wins 1:15:00 - What the Flip? Moments 1:20:00 - Wrap-Up and Where to Find Hatty ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: • Hatty Ashdown’s Website – https://hattyashdown.com/ • Funny Mummies Podcast: Basics – https://pod.link/1451332466 • Funny Mummies Podcast: VIP (Patreon) – https://www.patreon.com/FunnyMummiesPodcast • Bella Ramsey (Neurodiversity Champion) – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bella_Ramsey ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
Jun 25, 2025 · 1 hr 29 min
Tackling Ignorance - Part 2 | Jo Matthews
Following on from part 1, fan favourite Jo Matthews joins Mark once more for another laughter-filled, cathartic rant through the most mind-bogglingly ill-informed things people have said about raising autistic, ADHD, PDA and otherwise neurodivergent kids. In this episode, Mark and Jo go deeper into strategies for pushing back against ignorance without burning out. They discuss when to educate, when to ignore, and how to protect your peace when it feels like the world has no idea what you’re going through. Jo shares practical approaches for raising awareness in schools and extended families, and why some battles just aren’t worth fighting. This one’s full of laughter, reassurance, solidarity and a few tactical comebacks for the next time someone says, “They seem fine to me.” ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews Returns 05:30 - "Have you tried a routine?" 10:30 - "Have you tried a parenting course?" 13:30 - “Have you tried changing their diet?” 17:00 - "Why don't you take their screens away?" 20:00 - "Does he have mild autism?" 25:30 - Good autism v bad autism 29:00 - “We’re all a bit autistic" 34:30 - "ADHD is just an excuse" 37:00 - “It doesn't define him” 41:00 - "There's nothing wrong with him" 43:00 - Medical v Social models of disability 47:30 - "My kid does that" 50:00 - “He'll eat when he's hungry" 52:30 - “He'll grow out of it" 54:30 - “He doesn't look autistic" 56:30 - “But, he can talk, so he can’t be autistic” 59:00 - “ADHD is just for boys” 1:01:30 - "What's wrong with him?" 1:02:30 - "I bet he's good at maths" 1:04:30 - "I don't know how you do it" 1:07:00 - Misguided empathy: "I know how you feel" 1:09:00 - "But I do that and I'm not autistic" 1:14:00 - The completely batshit mental comments 1:20:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:21:30 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:25:00 - "What the flip?" moments 1:27:30 - Wrap-up & contact info ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: The medical vs social models of disability: www.scope.org.uk/about-us/social-model-of-disability/ Autism assessments (AQ Test): www.embrace-autism.com/aq-10/#test Bowles Outdoor Centre - www.bowles.rocks ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
Jun 11, 2025 · 1 hr 18 min
Tackling Ignorance - Part 1 | Jo Matthews
In this episode, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a cathartic, hilarious, and occasionally sweary dive into the unfiltered reality of parenting autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. From "It's just a label" and "He’s fine with me" to "You just need to push them out of their comfort zone", this is part one of a two-part special on the unsolicited commentary we all get, whether it’s from strangers, family members, or well-meaning-but-utterly-wrong professionals. The kind of comments that pretend to be supportive but are really just dismissive, ignorant, or unhelpfully optimistic. Together, Mark and Jo share personal stories, listener submissions, and a few moments of pure rage-laughter, as they unpack why these statements cut so deep - and how to push back with humour, honesty, and the occasional incredulous raise of the eyebrow. If you've ever encountered the ignorance of strangers and you're looking for a neurodivergent parenting podcast that makes you feel seen, this is the one for you. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews 06:00 – “It's just a label” 08:00 - The story of Rube Waddell 16:00 - "Stop Mollycoddling your child" 21:00 - "You let them win too much" 22:30 - "Can't you just make them do it?" 26:00 - "You should make their home life more unpleasant" 28:00 - "Your parenting is wishy washy" 31:00 - "Children just need boundaries" 36:00 - "You need to push them out of their comfort zone" 43:00 - "Are you too afraid to say no?" 48:00 - "How will they manage in the real world?" 52:00 - "Sometimes, it's a choice" 54:00 - "They're just trying to get their own way" 01:02:00 - "They're fine when they're with me" 01:07:00 - The Positives 01:09:30 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:12:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:14:30 - What the Flip? 01:17:00 - Wrap-Up & What’s Coming in Part Two ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Rube Waddell - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Waddell "Am I raising an arsehole?" episode of Neuroshambles -https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/a313c1057becbcd2e24d64c5bf94820e "The Explosive Child" book - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
May 28, 2025 · 1 hr 30 min
Why can't they stick with a hobby? | Nicole Bateman
In this episode, Nicole Bateman joins Mark to explore why neurodivergent kids often struggle to take up hobbies - those wholesome after-school activities that see neurotypical kids flourish… but which, for many parents of autistic, ADHD or PDA kids are either a logistical nightmare, a sensory minefield, or a fast track to public meltdown. Together, they explore the myths, pressures and downright ridiculousness of what “having hobbies” means when you are parenting neurodivergent children. Nicole shares how she’s reframed success and what helps her child engage without pressure. Mark opens up about the guilt, the frustration and the financial strain of trying to nurture interests that never seem to last past the first session. They cover what actually works, what definitely doesn’t, and the benefits of learning to follow your neurodifferent child's lead, so you can meet them where they're at, rather than where you want them to be. It’s an honest, often funny conversation about persistence, passion and letting go of neurotypical timelines. STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Nicole Bateman 03:00 – The fantasy of hobbies vs the reality 08:00 – Issues with trust and accessibility 13:00 – After-school clubs 18:00 – The Summer holiday hobby void 25:00 – Trying to force your neurodivergent children to have a hobby 33:00 – Social disconnect in group settings 39:00 – When your best intentions fail 44:00 - Environmental barriers to adopting a hobby 47:00 – Competitive Sport: Gift or Curse? 53:00 – Caesar-or-Nothing syndrome & hobby avoidance 59:00 – Drop-off disasters 1:07:00 – What *does* work? 1:12:00 – It's not all rubbish: A look at the positives 1:15:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:23:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:26:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:29:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Nicole LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Nicole Bateman’s Website – Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad: https://nicolebateman.co.uk/ Conversations with a SEND Mum – Nicole’s podcast: https://conversationswithasendmum.buzzsprout.com/ Super Sensory Squad Book – ‘Buzz’s Birthday’ and other penguin-based sensory tools: https://www.thesupersensorysquad.com/ Cub Scouts: https://www.scouts.org.uk/cubs/being-a-cub/joining-cubs/ Lisa Lloyd reel - Neurotypicals watching what their parents watch: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIzCFBxNzxT “Why Can’t I Just Enjoy Things?” by Pierre Novellie – Caesar-or-nothing brains and comedy insight: https://amzn.eu/d/dSZA4dC Minecraft Club - Online Social Group for 7-14 year olds: https://minecraftclub.co.uk/ Press Play - Stop frame animation workshops in Sussex: https://pressplayfilms.co.uk/ Boogie Beat - Music and movement classes: https://boogiebeat.co.uk/ Sam Mills – Disability Tennis Brighton: Email smsportsolutions@gmail.com for information CONTACT US 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
May 14, 2025 · 1 hr 23 min
The nightmare of shopping | Helen Stuart
Shopping - whether it’s for clothes, food or shoes - can be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare when you’re parenting autistic or ADHD children. Helen Stuart joins Mark to discuss why “just popping to the shops” is a long-held pipedream. They share tales from the front line of their own shopping trip traumas, and discuss how sensory overload, PDA, and unpredictable environments make supermarkets and shopping centres feel like hostile territory. Helen explains the practical steps her family takes to get through it - and when they just opt out entirely. Mark shares how even a trip to the corner shop has to be planned like a military operation, and how public perception adds a whole extra layer of pressure. A funny, honest episode that every neurodivergent parenting family will relate to. STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Listener Feedback 02:00 – Meet the Guest: Helen Stuart 06:00 – Topic of the Week: Shopping 13:00 – Why Supermarkets Are Sensory Torture 19:00 – The Emotional Toll of Trolleys and Comments 25:00 – PDA Autonomy, Meltdowns, and the Elsa Cup Incident 33:00 – Supermarket Sweep, PDA-Style 39:00 – Self-Checkouts vs Human Interaction 45:00 – Clothing & Footwear Battles 52:00 – Lush, Libraries and Return Rage 59:00 – When Book Tokens Become a Poisoned Chalice 1:04:00 – The Positives (Yes, Really!) 1:10:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:16:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:20:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:23:00 – Wrap-Up & Thrive Together Info LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: PDA Society - Support and resources for families living with a PDA profile: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk Supermarket Sweep - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_Sweep_(British_game_show) Sunflower Lanyard Scheme - For invisible disabilities: https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com Waterstones Book Tokens - https://www.waterstones.com/help/gift-cards-and-vouchers/32 H&M - https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/kids.html Skechers - https://www.skechers.co.uk/kids/ Lindsay's Swim School - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063580090089&sk=about Nelson Street Church, Rochdale - https://www.nelsonstreetchurch.org/ Thrive Together Training website – https://thrivetogethertraining.co.uk Thrive Together Training Facebook page – www.facebook.com/thrivetogethertraining Thrive Together Training Instagram account – www.instagram.com/thrivetogethertraining ⸻ CONTACT US 🎧 Do you have a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share? 📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com ⸻ FOLLOW US 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
Apr 30, 2025 · 1 hr 19 min
School: The Early Years | Helen Daniel
Starting school is a big deal for any child – but for neurodivergent children, it can be the beginning of a long and complicated relationship with the education system. Mark is joined by Helen Daniel to explore what happens when the school system isn’t built for your child. They discuss transitions, sensory overload, academic gaslighting and the slow-burning isolation that builds in the school playground (for kids and parents alike), as they dissect the emotional rollercoaster of watching your child struggle in a system not built for them. Together, they share tips for advocating for your child while staying sane – and what they wish they’d known from the beginning. If you’re looking for an autism, ADHD or PDA parenting podcast episodes about starting school, this one is essential listening. ⸻ STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Listener Message 01:45 – Meet the Guest: Helen Daniel 06:00 – Topic of the Week: Early Years & School 21:00 – Sensory Profiles and Unrealistic Expectations 34:00 – ND Communication Styles & Social Hierarchies 47:00 – Parent Isolation and Drop-Off Struggles 56:30 – School Pickup Dread & Neurodivergent Burnout 1:03:00 – What Needs to Change in Education 1:04:45 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:09:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:14:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:17:00 – Wrap-Up & Helen’s Book Plug ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Outside the Box Sensory (Helen’s website for talks, training and resources) - https://outsidetheboxsensory.com Follow Helen on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/otbsensory Follow Helen on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/outsidetheboxsensory Helen’s book – Neurosensory Divergence: Autistic Languages and Inclusion (Amazon): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CV4PSMH7 The Double Empathy Problem – Dr. Damian Milton: https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics Heidi Mavir Neuroshambles Empathy Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-avrx7-17af07c Pete Wharmby Neuroshambles Masking Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-cke9u-18156f6 Progressive Education – Resources for alternative provision and inclusive practice: https://www.progressiveeducation.org Grove Neurodivergent Mentoring & Education – Interest-based communities for ND kids: https://www.gr0ve.org/ Silent Disco - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_disco ⸻ CONTACT US 🎧 Got a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share? 📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com ⸻ FOLLOW US 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
Apr 9, 2025 · 1 hr 26 min
Being the token neurotypical | Kirsty Hockenhull
Have you ever felt like the odd one out in your own family? In this episode, Mark chats with Kirsty Hockenhull, a fellow self-diagnosed neurotypical in the midst of a chaotic, neurodivergent household. They discuss how it feels to be the lone neurotypical in a family teeming with autism, ADHD, and PDA - touching on everything from helping them navigate everyday social conventions to how to cope when your emotional needs are the only ones not being accommodated for. They discuss the challenges of bridging two worlds - interpreting “neurotypical” rules for neurodivergent loved ones, while also learning where those same social norms should be thrown out of the window altogether. There are candid insights into parenting styles, navigating brutal honesty (“Mum, why are you so old?” or “Dad, you should iron your face!”), and the realisation that sometimes your greatest strength is simply having enough “spoons” to hold it all together. A light-hearted but deeply affirming neurodivergent parenting podcast episode for mixed-neurotype families. ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pizza Express - https://www.pizzaexpress.com/ The Great Escape - https://greatescapefestival.com/ Wife Swap - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_Swap_(British_TV_series) Gorilla Gym - https://amzn.eu/d/bpK6C0G Angela Barnes – https://www.angelabarnescomedy.co.uk/ The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/ Electric Palace Cinema, Hastings - https://www.electricpalacecinema.com/ Lucy Bronze – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xriJ8wZm1w4 ⸻ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions, or any “What the flip?” moments you’d like to share, feel free to email us: hello@neuroshambles.com ⸻ FOLLOW US Instagram: instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: threads.net/@neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ Thank you for listening and being part of the Neuroshambles community. If you enjoyed this episode, please tell a friend, leave a review, or share it on social media. Have a nice life!
Mar 26, 2025 · 1 hr 16 min
Parental Burnout | Liz Evans
What happens when you hit a wall, and there’s no one around to help you up again? Liz Evans joins Mark to talk about parental burnout: what it looks like, why it’s so common, and the stigma around admitting you're not coping. Liz discusses her own experiences of parental burnout, and shares her knowledge of how to spot the signs of impending burnout, before offering guidance on strategies we can implement to avoid it happening to us - because let's face it, many parents of autistic and ADHD children are constantly dancing around the edges of it. This one’s a lifeline for exhausted parents of neurodivergent kids who have been in survival mode for far too long. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Together For Send Conference, Bristol - https://www.bristolparentcarers.org.uk/events/togetherforsend2025/ The Untypical OT website - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/ The Untypical OT podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/0L6K6RwcErY5Z9tggI40F3?si=d32fc06ab7ca4c60 The Untypical OT podcast (Heidi Mavir episode) - https://open.spotify.com/episode/49CtSzTKt8WStCL6bo8d5h?si=gVjZWlSgSj23eHJoMIGxWA Workplace Burnout - https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases Brené Brown short film on Empathy - https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw?si=nRHnjrN2pb4jZ-W7 Super Good Bikers For Autism - https://www.supergoodbikersforautism.com/ The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Mar 12, 2025 · 1 hr 33 min
The Bumpy Road to Diagnosis | Tam
Despite what some people believe, getting an autism or ADHD diagnosis for your child is far from straightforward. It's a frustrating, emotional and exhausting journey - no matter which diagnosis pathway you travel. In this special episode, Mark speaks to Tam, who is his former partner, current co-parent and long time friend. They discuss the diagnosis process of their three neuro-exceptional kids, who each followed completely different routes in the UK - from NHS/CAMHS and private diagnosis, to the "Right to Choose" pathway. This is a uniquely intimate and candid episode, where both parents reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of seeking diagnoses for Jay (diagnosed autistic/ADHD), Otto (diagnosed autistic/ADHD) and India (suspected autistic/ADHD... until now). By a strange quirk of fate, the recording date of this episode fell on the same day they received the results of India's autism assessment, so you can hear their reaction to this, just moments after receiving the news, as they consider what it now means for their family unit. It’s a raw, informative and validating conversation - particularly for parents wondering if it’s worth pushing for that piece of paper. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: CAMHS - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/ The Effra Clinic - https://www.effraclinic.co.uk/ Right To Choose - https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/your-choices-in-the-nhs/ All Dogs Have ADHD - https://amzn.eu/d/8Tzq6dj All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum - https://amzn.eu/d/byZg2mQ ADHDUK - https://adhduk.co.uk/ Heba App (formerly Hibi) - https://www.heba.care/ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Feb 26, 2025 · 1 hr 32 min
Why do our kids mask? | Pete Wharmby
Why do so many autistic and ADHD kids put on a brave face at school - only to melt down at home? Masking is a survival strategy for so many of our neurodivergent children. Pete Wharmby joins Mark to talk about why they do it, what the long terms affects are on their sense of self, and how we can help them unmask safely. They explore the school environment, social pressures and internalised expectations that drive masking behaviour - often at great emotional cost. Pete shares his personal journey of unmasking as an adult, and how he’s helping his own child feel accepted without having to perform. Mark reflects on the challenge of supporting a child who seems “fine” to outsiders – and the guilt that comes when parents question their own instincts. If you’re looking for a neurodivergent parenting podcast episode that unpacks this essential topic with warmth, honesty and wisdom, this is it. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pete Wharmby's website - https://petewharmby.com/ "Untypical" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/35cWwBh Alexis Quinn - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/stories/stories-from-the-spectrum-alexis-quinn University of Edinburgh study in autistic communication with other autistics - https://salvesen-research.ed.ac.uk/our-projects/autistic-autistic-communication Autistic code switching - https://myautismmind.com/autism-masking/ Autistic Girls Network - https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/ Lego hidden disabilities sunflower - https://hdsunflower.com/uk/insights/post/the-lego-group-joins-hidden-disabilities-sunflower "What I Want To Talk About" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/3HoKSt9 CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Feb 12, 2025 · 1 hr 26 min
Seeking help from "experts" | Charlotte Mountford
What do you do when you find out that you know more than the “experts” who are supposed to be helping you? In this episode, Mark is joined by Charlotte Mountford to talk about navigating services and seeking support for neurodivergent children. This episode deals with the familiar frustration of having to deal with the professionals who are gatekeepers to the accommodations our neurodifferent kids need. From teachers, whose evidence you have to seek in order to get a diagnosis, to CAMHS specialists, GPs, occupational therapists and paediatricians - the list of professionals we need to interact with is dizzying. Together, they also explore the disconnect between lived experience and professional expertise - and why parents so often become the real experts through necessity. If you’re a parent of an autistic, ADHD or PDA child and have ever come away from a meeting less supported than when you went in, this episode is for you. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: "Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell - https://amzn.eu/d/91hZpN4 Dean Beadle Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/deanbeadlespeaker/ Dean Beadle Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/dean.beadlespeaker Dan Beadle YouTube - https://youtube.com/@deanbeadleuk Eliza Fricker - https://missingthemark.co.uk/ Kieran Rose - https://theautisticadvocate.com/ "Bilal's Bad Day" by Neelum Khan - https://amzn.eu/d/5amH9zO "Neurotypicals don't juggle chainsaws" podcast - https://neurotypicalsdontjugglechainsaws.co.uk/ Liz Evans: The Untypical OT - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/ Badger Education Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/badger.education Badger Education Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Badger.Education.Inclusive.Supports Badger Education Free PDF - https://badger-education.co.uk/reasonable-adjustments-opt-in-2893 CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Jan 29, 2025 · 1 hr 15 min
Grappling with personal hygiene | Rebecca Huseyin
Why do simple hygiene routines, like brushing teeth or taking a bath, feel like impossible mountains to climb when you're raising ADHD, autistic or PDA kids? Rebecca Huseyin joins Mark to discuss one of the most frustrating (and least talked about) aspects of neurodivergent parenting: personal hygiene. They explore how sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, and demand avoidance can turn everyday tasks into full-blown standoffs. Rebecca shares her own experiences with honesty and humour, and how she’s adapted her expectations to support her child. They swap tales of the ludicrous lengths they go to when trying to navigate personal hygiene tasks, such as cleaning hands, wiping faces, brushing teeth, having baths, cutting fingernails and wiping bums. There are some hilarious anecdotes about the lengths to which Mark and Rebecca go to encourage their kids to engage in hygiene tasks - from fake drowning them in the bath, cleaning their teeth like a Victorian ghost and introducing the concept of "special dry". LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: The Lighter Side of PDA Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/LighterPDA/ Rebecca Huseyin blog (A Boy Less Ordinary) - https://aboylessordinary.com/ SENDIASS - (Google for your local county SENDIASS details) PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ Proprioception and Interoception: https://www.autismspeaks.org/sensory-issues Oranurse unflavoured toothpaste - https://oranurse.co.uk/unflavoured-toothpaste/ Little teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/little-teeth-toothpaste/ Big teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/big-teeth-toothpaste/ The Prism Cat - https://linktr.ee/KyraChambers Tesco Mobile Sensory Box - https://bettersociety.net/tesco-mobile-sensory-box.php Insanity Arcade, Poole - https://www.insanityarcade.com/home CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Jan 15, 2025 · 1 hr 29 min
Do our kids feel empathy? | Heidi Mavir
Mark welcomes back the phenomenal Heidi Mavir, who is an author, a neurodivergent advocate, activist, public speaker and Mum of a neurodifferent son (20, diagnosed autistic with a tic disorder, as well as suspected dyslexia and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). They pick up on a topic they very briefly touched on in the previous episode they recorded, which is whether there's any truth to the commonly-held belief that autistics don't feel empathy (spoiler alert - that view is abject nonsense). They dissect the very concept of empathy to try and understand why it's viewed as so important to neurotypicals, what "the double empathy problem" is and why our kids' way of displaying and responding to empathy is so varied. This is a genuinely insightful episode that gives a lot of food for thought when considering whether our own kids are able to feel empathy. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Heidi Mavir EOTAS Matters website - https://www.heidimavir.com/ "Your Child Is Not Broken" by Heidi Mavir - https://amzn.eu/d/8di4y0X "Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things?" by Pierre Novellie - https://amzn.eu/d/fd51tDR "How To Win Friends and Influence People" - https://amzn.eu/d/fd51tDR The Double Empathy Problem - https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/ "I Didn't See You There" by Charlotte Gail - https://amzn.to/3PUk4n1 Sesame Street Introduce Autistic Character - https://youtu.be/dKCdV20zLMs Muppet Christmas Carol - https://youtu.be/JXaVI60BFJM Heidi Mavir on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@heidimavir CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Dec 11, 2024 · 1 hr 19 min
Medicating Our Children | Danielle Jata-Hall
Should you medicate your child? And how do you cope with the guilt, fear and stigma that comes with making that decision? Danielle Jata-Hall joins Mark for a candid, compassionate and non-judgemental chat about medication. They discuss the medication journeys they've been on with their own kids, from overcoming their initial misgivings and dealing with the judgement of others, to the administrative nightmare of trying to get medication prescribed by medical professionals. Danielle also bravely opens up about her infuriating experience of being accused of FII (Fabricated and Induced Illness) by the very people she'd turned to for help. A vital episode for any parent navigating medication options and craving reassurance that they’re not alone. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: "The Journey Into S.E.N.D Fatherhood" book - https://amzn.eu/d/0qwN0il Danielle Jata-Hall blog - https://pdaparenting.com/ Newbold Hope - https://www.newboldhope.com/ FII (Fabricated or Induced Illness) - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/fabricated-or-induced-illness/overview/ "The Parent's Guide to ADHD Medicines" book - https://amzn.eu/d/i2e73JM Shared Care - https://www.england.nhs.uk/medicines-2/regional-medicines-optimisation-committees-advice/shared-care-protocols/ "I'm Not Upside Down, I'm Downside Up" book - https://amzn.eu/d/avsMxy2 "Black Rainbow" book - https://amzn.eu/d/he1Nd8K "Steph's Two Girls" blog with tips on getting your child to take medication - https://www.stephstwogirls.co.uk/2020/01/top-tips-when-your-child-wont-take.html "A boy less ordinary" blog - https://aboylessordinary.com/ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Nov 27, 2024 · 1 hr 24 min
How far have we come? | Stephanie (from over the road)
What was it like to raise an autistic child 30 years ago? Mark has a fascinating chat with Stephanie - his wonderful neighbour from over the road, whose autistic son is now an adult. They discuss how parents of autistic children were able to navigate the process of understanding how best to raise their kids, without access to the internet, social media or the breadth of information we have available now? This is an enlightening and surprisingly uplifting episode about autistic parenting, which shines a light on just how far society has come in a relatively short space of time, when it comes to understanding, supporting and championing our neurodivergent kids. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Disneyland, Paris - https://www.disneylandparis.com/en-gb/ Echolalia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle - https://amzn.eu/d/boDv6wN Rain Man - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rain_Man The Essential Different, Simon Baron Cohen - https://amzn.eu/d/3Y5xgWv Gentle Parenting - https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/on-babies/202405/gentle-parenting-doesnt-mean-permissive-parenting Leonardo Da Vinci - https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/leonardo-da-vinci-adhd-health-mona-lisa-a8927641.html Social Stories - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/communication/communication-tools/social-stories-and-comic-strip-coversations Supported Employment - https://www.base-uk.org/about/members/brighton-hove-city-council Fare Share - https://fareshare.org.uk/ Oxfam - https://jobs.oxfam.org.uk/jobs/home/ Leonardslee Gardens - www.leonardsleegardens.co.uk/ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Nov 13, 2024 · 1 hr 13 min
Coping with transport | "Belle"
Belle joins Mark to explore why transport can be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare when you’re raising neurodivergent children. They discuss unpredictable delays, overcrowding, transitions and the sheer panic that sets in when you realise that things are not going to go as planned. It’s funny, affirming and will make you feel seen if you’ve ever had to navigate a journey with your autistic, ADHD or PDA child and had to abandon it half way through. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Gatwick Airport Special Assistance - https://www.gatwickairport.com/passenger-guides/special-assistance.html Ferry cabins (DFDS) - https://www.dfds.com/en-gb/passenger-ferries/onboard/newhaven-dieppe/sleeping Jen Marillat, Dramatherapist - https://jenmarillat.com/ Health and Care Professions Council - https://www.hcpc-uk.org/ The British Association of Dramatherapists - https://www.badth.org.uk/ EMDR Therapy - https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr Riding For the Disabled Association (RDA) - https://rda.org.uk/ Aspens, East Sussex - https://www.aspens.org.uk/ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Oct 30, 2024 · 1 hr 15 min
Judgement From Outsiders | Lisa Lloyd (@asd_with_a_g_and_t)
Lisa Lloyd joins Mark to tackle one of the toughest parts of neurodivergent parenting - judgement. From strangers tutting in the supermarket to relatives offering “helpful” advice, it can feel like the world is watching, and disapproving. They swap tales about comments they receive from people judging their children ("He's not autistic, he's just naughty"), judging their parenting ("He wouldn't act like that if he was my son") and judging the entire concept of neurodivergency ("It's just a label"). They discuss the misconceptions that cause people to act this way, as well as the appropriate responses you can give them in return. Lisa explains how she built resilience and a community of understanding, while Mark talks about learning to let go of needing to be understood. This autism and ADHD parenting podcast episode is a powerful, funny and validating conversation for anyone who’s ever felt scrutinised, criticised, or blamed for doing their best. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Raising the Sen-Betweeners, Lisa Lloyd - https://amzn.eu/d/4hm6Sb0 SEND Reform England - https://www.sendreformengland.com/ Lisa Lloyd Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/asd_with_a_g_and_t/ Lisa Lloyd TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@asd.with.a.g.and.t Lisa Lloyd Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ASDwithGandT CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok:https: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Oct 16, 2024 · 1 hr 7 min
Keeping up with the Joneses | Samuel Wilson
Comparison is the thief of joy - and nowhere is that truer than in SEND parenting. Samuel Wilson returns to talk with Mark about resisting the pressure to keep pace with neurotypical milestones. They explore how school, family, and social media can fuel comparison, and the emotional impact of feeling like you’re “behind”. Samuel shares how he’s learned to celebrate his child’s progress on their own terms, and Mark discusses the freedom that comes from letting go. If you’re looking for an autism parenting podcast episode that’s both validating and liberating, this one is for you. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Simpsons clip - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=784seqWxsMk&t=469s Dad La Soul - https://www.dadlasoul.com/ BBC Woman’s Hour - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0022ss7 India Croc replacement saga - https://www.instagram.com/p/C9hLMewpBH6/ "Lend a Hand", Samuel Wilson's book - www.littlestepspublishing.co.uk/books/lend-a-hand CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Oct 2, 2024 · 1 hr 10 min
Am I raising an arsehole? | Kate Ebbutt
It’s a question many parents of neurodivergent children have whispered: “Is this behaviour just a result of their neurotype - or is my kid actually an arsehole?” Mark is joined by Kate Ebbutt for an unfiltered chat about the guilt, fear and frustration behind this very real concern. They explore compassion fatigue, judgement from others, and the emotional toll of parenting children who challenge every boundary. They also discuss to what extent the gentle parenting approach could be contributing to this behaviour, as well as recounting experiences of times where they've had to explain their parenting choices to neurotypicals who struggle to understand their approach. It’s a brave, honest conversation hilariously relatable episode that will make all parents of autistic, ADHD or PDA kids feel seen. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: "The Explosive Child" book - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm Gentle Parenting - https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/what-is-gentle-parenting/ National Trust - https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ RAM (Random Access Memory) - https://www.ign.com/articles/what-is-ram Sheffield Queer Parents - https://sites.google.com/view/sheffield-queer-parents Angling 4 Education - https://www.angling4education.com/ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Sep 18, 2024 · 1 hr 23 min
Conversation | Kieran Rose
What does a meaningful conversation with a neurodivergent child actually look like? Mark chats with inspirational autism advocate Kieran Rose to unpack language and communication, and offer some fascinating insights into the different communication styles between neurodivergents and neurotypicals. They discuss situational mutism, hyperverbalism, small talk and monotropism to shine a light on why conversations don’t always sound like we expect. Kieran shares incredible insight from both personal and professional perspectives to explain how traditional communication expectations can alienate autistic, PDA and ADHD children, and how to create connection through listening, adaptation and patience. A standout episode for any parent who’s ever worried they’re not ‘getting through’ to their child - and a brilliant reminder that connection comes in many forms. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Neurodive Podcast - https://soundcloud.com/neurodivepod/kieranrose Kieran's website - https://theautisticadvocate.com/ Maori word for autism - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-40493398 KIERAN'S RECOMMENDATIONS FOR FURTHER READING: A short (and very inexhaustive) list of Autistic advocates and allies no longer with us, who have made a phenomenally constructive difference to the narratives around Autistic and Neurodivergent people, but who never get the recognition of lauded non-Autistic people: Jim Sinclair Don't mourn for us - Jim Sinclair wrote one of the pivotal texts in the reframing of Autistic experience (opens as a PDF): https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://philosophy.ucsc.edu/SinclairDontMournForUs.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwik86zq-smIAxWCWUEAHQ2NH5UQFnoECCQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3WfDEINrbr2olYTgiO6ZKl A book about Jim: https://amzn.eu/d/3qalj4l Donna Williams Conceptualised a model of advocacy based on an inside-out approach - that observation based on your own or a normative experience can only take you so far. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donna_Williams She produced a massive number of books: https://uk.jkp.com/collections/author-donna-williams-pid-199891 Mel Baggs: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Baggs An old (quality is indicative of its age, so please bear with it) video on two parts that off a deep challenge to normative assumptions around communication and experience: https://youtu.be/JnylM1hI2jc?si=IaPhwkiYn1vRmmlp Dinah Murray https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinah_Murray Co-creator of the theory of monotropism: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1362361305051398 A basic introduction: https://youtu.be/qUFDAevkd3E?si=SMiSDEoiNcDtV2eg Steve Silberman https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Silberman The author of Neurotribes, a game changing book that brought a model of different, not less into the mainstream: https://amzn.eu/d/clw0AD8 CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/