Neuroshambles

Being a neurodivergent parent of neurodivergent kids: LIVE | Lisa Lloyd

The final episode of season 3 marks a first for Neuroshambles, as it’s the first ever live recording, performed in front of an audience. Mark is joined by returning guest Lisa Lloyd (@asd_with_a_g_and_t) for a raucous and laughter-filled discussion around what it's like to be a neurodivergent parent raising neurodivergent kids. They examine a wide range of autistic, ADHD and PDA traits, and discuss how each of these can impact a neurodivergent parents’ experience of raising neurodivergent kids. They shine light onto sensory sensitivity, touch aversion, and the chaos that unplanned changes can cause in a home that runs on routine. They also talk candidly about masking, difficulty with social interactions with other parents, executive functioning, rejection sensitivity and the challenge of navigating your own overwhelm while supporting a child through meltdown. There are plenty of positives too, as Mark and Lisa find the upside of autism parenting in shared understanding, a healthy disregard for authority, and the sense of injustice that fuels so many neurodivergent parents’ advocacy work. This warm, insightful and hilarious episode is a must listen for anyone navigating parenting through the lens of their own neurodivergency. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:26 - Meet the guest: Lisa Lloyd 00:06:07 - Topic of the week: parenting neurodivergent kids as a neurodivergent parent 00:13:24 - A shared neurotype and a closer bond with the kids 00:15:48 - Sensory sensitivity and touch aversion 00:21:22 - Coping with changes of plan 00:27:13 - Masking, social struggles and finding your tribe 00:35:10 - Executive function and the never-ending admin 00:40:36 - Rejection sensitivity 00:47:13 - Navigating overwhelm and meltdowns together 00:58:39 - The Positives: the upsides of neurodivergent parenting 01:07:09 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:13:31 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:18:08 - What The Flip Moments LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share Unmasking Mum by Lisa Lloyd - https://amzn.eu/d/0gbnKiwm Lisa Lloyd (ASD with a G&T) on the socials: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/asd_with_a_g_and_t/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@asd.with.a.g.and.t Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ASDwithGandT Includes Us Too - https://includesustoo.org.uk/ Spinning World of Autism (Laura Brown) - https://www.spinningworldofautism.com/ Speak Up for Autism petition - https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/764248 PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share CREDITS 🎧 Sound recording by CRT Audiotech: https://www.instagram.com/crtaudiotech/ 🎥 Video recording by Brown Bear Studios, Brighton: https://brownbearstudios.co.uk/ 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Understanding meltdowns and what we can do to help | Lisa Galley

Mark welcomes back a Neuroshambles favourite Lisa Galley, for a deep dive into one of the topics every family raising neurodivergent kids will recognise: meltdowns. As an autism family consultant and mum to three of her own, fully grown neurodivergent humans, Lisa brings a wealth of lived experience to help unpick what is really going on in a child's brain and body when their nervous system tips beyond its limits. Mark and Lisa explore the three main contributing factors to meltdowns, before working through the four main survival responses that PDA and other neurodivergent kids can show when overwhelmed: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. They also tackle one of the most frustrating bugbears for parents of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids - the assumption that a meltdown is simply a tantrum. They dissect exactly why the two are worlds apart and why treating one like the other often makes things worse. They share honest, sometimes hair-raising stories from their own households, from the most extreme of flight responses to an epic meltdown triggered by an Easter egg hunt and they offer a genuinely practical rundown of what can help before, during and after a meltdown happens. It's the kind of grounded, funny, non-judgemental chat about parenting neurodivergent kids that Neuroshambles listeners are looking - whether they're seeking autistic parenting advice for the first time or simply want to feel a little less alone in the chaos. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:10 - Meet the guest: Lisa Galley returns 00:03:02 - Topic of the week: what actually is a meltdown? 00:04:48 - The window of tolerance and the nervous system 00:13:37 - Three main causes of meltdown: sensory, communication and unpredictability 00:23:15 - Fight, flight, freeze and fawn: the four meltdown responses 00:43:00 - Tantrums vs meltdowns: what's the difference? 00:49:31 - Common misconceptions about meltdowns 00:50:55 - Public meltdowns and dealing with judgement 00:57:53 - Spotting the signs before a meltdown happens 01:06:43 - What actually helps during a meltdown 01:18:39 - The Positives 01:21:48 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:26:31 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:30:39 - What The Flip? Moments LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Parenting Your Autistic Child: Permission to Do It Differently, by Lisa Galley - https://amzn.eu/d/09LMvRVR Lisa Galley's website - https://lisagalley.com Lisa Galley's free Autism Parenting Guide to Meltdowns (plus bonus meltdown tracker) - https://learn.lisagalley.com/meltdownsguide Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/0cE2Sjcq Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Why is sleep such a battle for neurodivergent kids? | Michelle Cyril

The issue of how to navigate sleep with our neurodivergent kids is one of the most requested topics on Neuroshambles, so Mark brought in someone who actually knows what she's talking about. This episode tackles the question that haunts pretty much every household raising neurodivergent kids: how do you get them to sleep, keep them asleep, and stop them waking up at some ungodly hour demanding an apple? Mark is joined by Michelle Cyril, a children's nurse and fully qualified paediatric sleep consultant who specialises in supporting families of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. She's also a parent of neurodivergent twins herself, so this isn't advice from someone lecturing from a textbook - it's advice from someone who's been on the sharp end of three-hour bedtime battles too. Mark and Michelle break bedtime down into its component parts of chaos: the bedtime routine itself, actually getting to sleep, staying asleep through the night, and waking up - wether that’s ludicrously early, or begrudgingly late. They cover why traditional sleep advice is largely useless for neurodivergent kids, how PDA turns bedtime into a demand minefield, and dive into the knotty issue of melatonin. Anyone wondering whether melatonin is safe, why GPs are so reluctant to prescribe it, or why their kid can't seem to switch their brain off at night will find answers here. Whether it's a PDA profile, an ADHD brain that won't switch off, or a kid who just runs unnervingly hot in bed, there's something in this episode for most Neuroshamblers. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated) 00:01:48 - Meet the Guest: Michelle Cyril 00:04:00 - Topic of the Week: Why Sleep Is Such a Battle 00:13:39 - The Traditional Sleep Advice That Just Doesn't Work 00:16:13 - Making Bedtime Routines Fun Instead of Boring 00:26:35 - PDA, Demand Avoidance and Bedtime 00:34:06 - Getting to Sleep: Busy Brains and Familiar Stories 00:45:11 - The Melatonin Debate 00:58:39 - Staying Asleep: Night Waking and Anxiety 01:10:46 - The Early Morning Wake-Up Struggle 01:17:23 - The Impact of Poor Sleep on Parents 01:23:02 - Sleep Deprivation and Its Ripple Effects 01:26:44 - Finding the Silver Linings 01:28:39 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:31:48 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:35:58 - What the Flip? LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share Michelle Cyril, Family Sleep Specialist - https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk/ Busy Brains at Bedtime (Michelle's free download) - https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk/busy-brains-guide/ Greeking Out (National Geographic podcast) - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/podcasts/greeking-out/ Michael Gradisar - https://winksleep.online/about-michael-gradisar Confusional Arousals - https://www.sleepfoundation.org/parasomnias/confusional-arousal Neuro Embrace, Madeleine Woolgar - https://www.neuro-embrace.com ARFID Life UK - https://www.facebook.com/p/ARFID-Life-UK-61569140673395/ 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share CREDITS 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

School “avoidance”: Part 2 - The impact on families and what we can do about it | Heidi Mavir

Part two of our deep dive into EBSA for neurodivergent children is essential listening for anyone navigating the school avoidance minefield as a parent or carer of a neurodivergent child - whether they are autistic, ADHD, PDA profile, or any combination of the above. Heidi Mavir returns to offer her advice as someone who has lived every corner of this experience - not only in her own life, but also through her advocacy work with thousands of families affected by barriers to attendance. In this episode, we dig into the real-world impact - the emotional, financial and logistical strain it places on families. We also look at practical things parents can actually do if their child is experiencing barriers to attendance - from how absences should be coded at school, to what the Children's Wellbeing Bill means for home education rights, to when a part-time timetable might help and when it's just a sticking plaster. If you're wrestling with EBSA daily and you’re looking for advice that's rooted in lived experience, this is the episode for you. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:28 - Meet The Guest 00:03:25 - Topic of the Week: Barriers to Attendance Part 2 00:03:59 - Parental Blame and Being Doubted by School Professionals 00:09:32 - Attendance Targets, Fines, and Rewarding Full Attendance 00:13:23 - "Make Home Less Appealing" and Other Unhelpful Advice 00:17:49 - Why Exposure Therapy Doesn't Work for EBSA 00:21:35 - The Emotional, Financial and Relational Impact on Parents 00:35:34 - What You Can Actually Do: Practical Advice for Families 00:53:15 - Home Education, Deregistering and the Children's Wellbeing Bill 01:11:46 - EOTAS and When School Just Isn't the Right Shape 01:15:07 - It's Not All Rubbish: Specialist Settings and What Works 01:20:05 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:25:19 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:31:10 - What the Flip! LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of all What the Flip moments from all 59 episodes) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share Your Child Is Not Broken book, Heidi Mavir - https://www.heidimavir.com/i-wrote-a-book Your Child Is Not Broken free Facebook community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/eotasmatters Heidi Mavir: The Marble run - https://www.heidimavir.com/the-marble-run Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Act - https://bills.parliament.uk/bills/3909 Section 19 of Children and Families Act - https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2014/6/section/19 EOTAS, EOTIS, EOTISC - https://www.ipsea.org.uk/home-education-and-education-otherwise Not Fine in School - https://www.notfineinschool.co.uk Define Fine - https://www.definefine.org.uk/ SEND Advocacy Limited (Alice) - https://www.sendadvocacy.com/ Audhdacious Humans - https://www.audhdacious.com/ Make and Create Club - https://www.audhdacious.com/make-and-create/club/ Eliza Fricker and "Can't Not Won't" - https://amzn.eu/d/0bMMrrwa 📣 CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

School "Avoidance": Part 1 - What it is and how to spot it | Heidi Mavir

If you are a parent or carer of a neurodivergent child, the chances are that school attendance has been a topic that has kept you awake at night. Whether you know it as school refusal, emotionally based school avoidance, or one of a dozen other terms, it is one of the most stressful and isolating things a family can go through. As a neurodivergent parenting podcast, Neuroshambles has been asked about this topic more than almost any other, so this week’s guest is one of the best in the business. Heidi Mavir is a best-selling author, public speaker, late-identified autistic and ADHD adult, and one of the most knowledgeable and tireless advocates for SEND families in the UK. Her own journey with her son Theo, who went from full school attendance to none at all in the space of a few months at the age of fourteen, gives her both the lived experience and the hard-won expertise to talk about this topic like very few others can. This is Part 1 of a two-part episode, so here we focus on what barriers to attendance actually looks like in neurodivergent children and young people - from the terminology chaos to the sensory nightmare of school environments, the morning meltdowns, the masking, the after-school explosions, the physical symptoms, and ultimately what can happen when it all builds up into burnout. Part 2 will focus on the family impact and what you can actually do about it. If you are a parent trying to make sense of what is happening with your child and school, this one is for you. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:37 - Meet the Guest - Heidi Mavir 00:05:08 - What is EBSA? Unpacking the Terminology 00:19:01 - Why School is a Sensory and Emotional Minefield 00:30:40 - The PDA Dimension - Demand Avoidance in School 00:35:27 - Early Signs of Barriers to Attendance 00:42:00 - Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn and Flop - Polyvagal Theory 00:45:33 - After-School Meltdowns and the Masking Behind Them 00:52:19 - Physical Symptoms - When the Body Tells the Story 00:57:01 - What Changes Outside of School? 01:03:41 - How Barriers to Attendance Build Up Gradually Over Time 01:07:42 - Autistic Burnout - When It All Catches Up 01:17:22 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:20:13 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:23:04 - What the Flip? LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Your Child Is Not Broken by Heidi Mavir - https://www.heidimavir.com/i-wrote-a-book EOTAS Matters - https://www.heidimavir.com/forfamilies PDA Society: School Distress - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-helps-guides/pda-and-emotionally-based-school-avoidance-ebsa/ Kieran Rose: School Induced Trauma - https://theautisticadvocate.com/school-refusal-or-school-induced-trauma-rethinking-ebsa-ebsna-and-the-harm-we-call-help/ Audhdacious Humans - https://www.audhdacious.com/ Polyvagal Theory - https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory Scouts UK - https://www.scouts.org.uk/ Heidi Mavir/Rachel Filmer webinar on SEND Reform Proposals - https://eotasmatters.kartra.com/page/WhitePaperWebinar Black SEN Mamas - https://blacksenmamas.com/ Rachel Filmer - https://www.instagram.com/sendra.uk/ Not Fine in School - https://www.notfineinschool.co.uk Square Peg - https://www.teamsquarepeg.co.uk/ Define Fine - https://www.definefine.org.uk/ 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles/ 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Screen Time: Part 2 - The Downsides For Neurodivergent Kids | Hannah Woods

This week we're back with part two of a candid, deep dive into screen time. Last time we covered all the good stuff - the regulation, the social connection, the sense of mastery. This time, we're braving the darker side of the coin. Mark is joined again by Hannah, mum to nine-year-old Henry (autistic, ADHD, PDA profile) and six-year-old Thea (suspected neurotypical). Together they work through the thornier aspects of neurodivergent parenting and screen time - addiction, in-game spending, safeguarding and parental controls. They also take an honest look at crushing guilt and the shame that often lies underneath it, as well as how to handle transitions off screens without descending into full-scale conflict. For anyone trying to navigate neurodivergency parenting without a rulebook, this episode won't give you all the answers, but it will make you feel considerably less alone. ------------ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:10 - Meet the Guest 00:02:34 - This Week's Topic: Screen Time - The Difficult Bits 00:03:48 - Screen Addiction, ADHD and the Dopamine Loop 00:16:12 - Managing Screen Time: Swapping One Dopamine Hit for Another 00:21:57 - In-Game Spending, Roblox and Robux 00:29:16 - Safeguarding and Online Safety 00:34:10 - Parental Controls: A Full-Time Job 00:46:52 - Are Screens Putting Our Kids Off Other Kinds of Play? 00:50:39 - Using Screens as a Tool for Transitions and Outings 00:56:38 - Getting Them Off Screens: Transition Strategies That (Sometimes) Work 01:01:45 - Parental Guilt, Shame and Societal Judgement 01:12:46 - It's Not All Rubbish 01:15:12 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:21:43 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:25:48 - What the Flip Moments ------------ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles Live, Brighton (23rd July 2026) - www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1988682312330/?discount=Neuroshamblers Alternatively, search "Neuroshambles Live" on https://www.eventbrite.co.uk and use the access code “Neuroshamblers” for the discounted rate of £8 throughout May. After that, tickets go on general sale for £10. Screen time: Part 1 episode - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/screen-time-part-1-the-benefits-for-neurodivergent-kids-hannah-woods ADHD and dopamine - https://www.additudemag.com/brain-stimulation-and-adhd-cravings-dependency-and-regulation/ Roblox - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roblox Grow a garden - https://growa-garden.io/ Apple parental controls - https://support.apple.com/en-gb/105121 Google parental controls - https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/15077835?hl=en Microsoft parental controls - https://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/microsoft-365/family-safety Crunchyroll - https://www.crunchyroll.com/ Tech Smart Parenting book by Catherine Knibbs - https://amzn.eu/d/0iqIy0cv Holidays Episode of Neuroshambles - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/holidays-dr-hildi-mitchell Cards against humanity - https://amzn.eu/d/08Dn7YIt Smartphone Free Childhood - https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/ Spectrum Squad Penarth - https://www.facebook.com/groups/2039735040102766/ ------------ 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles ------------ 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Screen Time: Part 1 - The Benefits For Neurodivergent Kids | Hannah Woods

Description If you're a parent of a neurodivergent child and you've ever felt quietly judged for your approach to screen time, this episode of Neuroshambles is for you. Mark is joined by Hannah Woods - one of the founders of the Spectrum Squad, a neurodivergent youth group in Penarth, South Wales - to tackle one of the most requested topics the show has ever had: managing screen time with our neurodivergent kids. This is part one of a two-part deep dive of a particularly knotty topic, and it's entirely focused on the positives of screen time. Because if you're navigating autism parenting, ADHD parenting, or PDA parenting, you'll know that screens aren't just a lazy shortcut - they can be a genuine lifeline. Whether it's helping your child regulate, learn and connect with peers, or just giving you ten minutes of respite to gather your energy, screen time is doing some heavy lifting in a lot of neurodivergent households. This is an honest, relatable conversation about the gap between the parents we thought we'd be and the parents our kids actually need us to be. Part 2, covering the potential downsides of screen time, is coming in the next episode. But for now, let's hear the case for the defence. Chapter Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction and Neuroshambles Live Announcement 02:56 - Meet the Guest: Hannah Woods 08:10 - Topic Introduction: Screen Time with Neurodivergent Kids 10:00 - How We Thought We'd Parent Around Screens (Before We Met Our Kids) 14:29 - The Stigma Around Screen Time 15:23 - Screen Time Limits, NHS Guidance and Why It Doesn't Apply to Our Kids 18:17 - Dr Naomi Fisher: It's Not the Screen, It's What's Behind It 21:59 - Screens for Regulation - Meltdowns, Overwhelm and India's Wardrobe Nook 29:29 - Special Interests, Hyperfocus and Letting Them Go Deep 39:17 - Online Connection, Belonging and the Social Value of Multiplayer Gaming 42:39 - Building Friendships Through Minecraft and Shared Play 50:04 - Sharing Content as a Love Language (YouTube Clips Count) 55:16 - Watching Online as a Gateway to Special Interests 57:40 - Screens as a Learning Tool - Laptops, Writing and Demand Avoidance 01:01:08 - Reading Apps and How They Changed Everything 01:03:20 - Self-Esteem, Gaming and Finding Your Thing 01:04:53 - Screens as a Social Bridge 01:07:44 - From 3D Printing to School Fair Entrepreneur 01:09:52 - The Parental Sanity Argument (Yes, It Counts) 01:13:16 - Screens for Sleep and Winding Down 01:15:20 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:18:22 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:22:09 - What the Flip Moments Links to Stuff We Mention in This Episode Neuroshambles Live, Brighton (23rd July 2026) - www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1988682312330/?discount=Neuroshamblers Alternatively, search "Neuroshambles Live" on https://www.eventbrite.co.uk and use the access code “Neuroshamblers” for the discounted rate of £8 throughout May. After that, tickets go on general sale for £10. The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker - https://amzn.eu/d/02qGPcjD Dr Naomi Fisher article on screens - https://naomifisher.co.uk/tags/screens/ Bluey - https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m000vbrk/bluey Gravity Falls - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_Falls How To Break Up With Your Phone - https://amzn.eu/d/04PSfLq9 Roblox - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roblox JusTalk Kids - https://kids.justalk.com/ MindJam - https://mindjam.org.uk/ Super Mario Odyssey - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Odyssey Audible storybooks - https://www.audible.co.uk/ Calm app - https://www.calm.com/ Greeking Out (National Geographic podcast) - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/podcasts/greeking-out/ Have Fun, Get Fit (South Wales) - https://www.facebook.com/HaveFunGetFitRossParsons/ Neurospicy Wings (South Wales) - https://www.neurospicywings.co.uk/ 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

How to be your neurodivergent child's safe person | Jo and Dotty Matthews

If you've ever found yourself having to outline the entire day's schedule before you've even had your first coffee, or negotiating bath time as a sacred non-negotiable human right, this episode might just be the one you didn't know you needed. Mark is joined by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a deep dive into what it really means to be your child's safe person. Whether your neuroshambolic family is shaped by autism, ADHD or PDA, so many of us know the exhausting, relentless, sometimes claustrophobic experience of being the one person our child needs above all others. It's a privilege and it's hard work, but it's almost never talked about with the honesty it deserves on a neurodivergent parenting podcast. In a Neuroshambles first, this episode also features a second guest - Dotty Matthews, Jo's 19-year-old autistic daughter - who joins Mark for a candid, funny and genuinely moving conversation about what it felt like to be that child. From the early days of demanding apple juice to command her mum's attention, through to slowly learning to find safety in other people, Dotty's perspective is the kind of lived experience that makes this show worth your time. There's also a listener email from Lydia, whose 13-year-old daughter's intense attachment prompted this whole conversation - and both Jo and Dotty have something genuinely useful to say in response. Autistic parenting advice doesn't get much more grounded in lived experience than this. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:08 - Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews 00:03:40 - This Week's Topic: Being Your Child's Safe Person 00:04:22 - Lydia's Listener Email 00:07:06 - Dotty's Early Attachment (and the Gee Story) 00:10:25 - Transitional Objects and Starting School 00:18:58 - Co-regulation: Being Your Child's Emotional Anchor 00:25:54 - Scaffolding the Day: Structure and Predictability 00:30:54 - Being Their Executive Function 00:37:45 - Advocating for Your Child 00:43:41 - Being a Physical Safe Space (Including Co-sleeping) 00:48:05 - Being an Emotional Outlet 00:56:34 - The Guilt and Exhaustion of Being a Safe Person 01:03:12 - Attachment Theory and Building Independence 01:06:58 - When Only One Parent is the Safe Person 01:14:17 - Meet the Second Guest: Dotty Matthews 01:38:51 - It's Not All Rubbish 01:41:07 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:43:46 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:47:04 - What the Flip Moments LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Attachment Theory (John Bowlby) - https://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html The Loxdale Centre, Portslade - https://www.loxdale.com/ mASCot - https://www.asc-mascot.com/ Mark's talk: "How Dads Can Show Up Better For Our Neurodivergent Kids" - https://neuroshambles.com/page-gazc-3dk8-ywa8-dnly Raising SEND kids: The Dad's Perspective (with Terry Lloyd) - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/raising-send-kids-the-dads-perspective-terry-lloyd 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Where is the user manual for our neurodivergent kids? | George Lewis

If you've ever stared at a parenting book and thought "none of this applies to my child whatsoever" - this episode is for you. Mark is joined by comedian, author, and fellow parent-in-the-trenches George Lewis for a proper deep dive into one of the great unspoken challenges of neurodivergent parenting: figuring out who your kid actually is, and how to parent them, when the instruction manual simply doesn't exist. Because most parenting advice out there is written for neurotypical kids. And when you've got autistic, ADHD, or PDA children, you quickly discover that you essentially have to work it out yourself. That means years of research, trial and error, conflicting information, and the occasional moment of going "hang on… is THIS a thing I need to learn about now?" It's exhausting and exasperating, but it's also, occasionally, brilliant. This is an honest, funny and insightful autism parenting podcast episode that covers the whole messy journey - from those early days of thinking something's different but not knowing quite what, through diagnosis (including the woefully misguided NHS leaflet with their list of top tips), to the point where you cautiously start to feel like you might actually know what you're doing. If you're deep in that process right now, or just starting out, this one's for you. And if you're a seasoned neurodivergent parenting veteran, you'll recognise pretty much every single moment of it. -------------- CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated) 00:00 – Intro 01:15 - Meet the Guest: George Lewis 06:28 - Topic of the Week: Writing Your Own User Manual 08:18 - Imagining parenthood vs the reality 12:04 - Apraxia of speech and George's early diagnosis journey 18:19 - Understanding autism: the spectrum, spiky profiles and the mixing desk analogy 31:32 - Navigating the NHS diagnosis route (and the unhelpful booklet you receive when they're diagnosed) 58:16 - Information overload and knowing when to put the lid back on 01:03:39 - Discovering PDA and low demand language 01:05:31 - Conflicting advice and how to navigate it 01:11:36 - Trusting your gut when some recommended approaches don't sit right 01:20:44 - It's Not All Rubbish: the positives of doing the research 01:25:52 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:28:53 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:32:24 - What the Flip! Moments -------------- LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE George Lewis website - https://www.georgelewiscomedian.com George Lewis Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/georgelewiscom George Lewis TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@georgelewiscomedian George Lewis Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/georgelewiscom George Lewis YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@georgelewiscom Autism Colour Wheel - https://community.autism.org.uk/cfs-file/__key/communityserver-discussions-components-files/4/autism-colour-wheel.pdf Government SEND white paper - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/every-child-achieving-and-thriving Neuroshambles Episode with Kieran Rose: How Autistic Is Your Child? – https://neuroshambles.com/episode/how-autistic-is-your-child-kieran-rose Autistica - https://www.autistica.org.uk/ Pierre Novellie “Why can’t I just enjoy things?” - https://amzn.eu/d/0fL1X5Fb Fern Brady “Strong Female Character” - https://amzn.eu/d/07Uk4H6a -------------- 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: @neuroshambles -------------- 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Finding your people when you have neurodivergent kids | Sam Bayley

Mark is joined by Sam Bayley - founder of mASCot, a Sussex-based parent-to-parent support network for families of autistic, ADHD and PDA children and young adults - for a warm and genuinely uplifting conversation about one of the most important things you can do as a neurodivergent parent: find your people. They dig into why parenting a neurodivergent child can feel so isolating - especially in the early days before diagnosis, when you're still trying to crowbar your kid into situations built for neurotypical families and slowly realising it isn't working. Sam shares the story of how mASCot grew from a few breakout coffee sessions into a community supporting thousands of families, and Mark recounts the moment he first walked into Sunday Club and felt the blessed relief of a room with absolutely no judgement in it. They also get into the thornier side of finding your people - namely, the bit where you have to let go of the ones who aren't. From unsupportive friends who just aren't listening, to family members who think it's all a fad, this episode doesn't shy away from how hard it can be to protect your energy when you haven't got much of it to spare. If you're after a neurodivergent parenting podcast that feels human, honest and occasionally sweary, this one's for you. --------------------------------------------------------- CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro 01:11 - Meet the Guest: Sam Bayley 04:01 - Topic of the Week: The Importance of Finding Your People 09:10 - How mASCot Was Born: Coffee Mornings and the Birth of Community 10:09 - Early Expectations and the Reality of Neurodivergent Parenthood 27:19 - The "Coming Home to Autism" Event That Changed Everything 31:35 - The mASCot Card: A Little Bit of Context, a Lot of Confidence 37:51 - Sunday Club and the Joy of a Non-Judgmental Space 47:59 - Inspired to Act: Hannah Woods and Spectrum Squad Penarth 52:16 - The Online Community: Why mASCot's Facebook Forum Matters 59:52 - When Lockdown Showed Us What Our Kids Already Knew 01:01:49 - Finding Your People Means Letting Go of the Wrong Ones 01:09:05 - The Tricky Business of Unsupportive Family Members 01:13:18 - It's Not All Rubbish: The Positives of Finding Your People 01:16:17 - Neurodiversity Champions: mASCot, Bill Bayley and the BNC 01:22:40 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:26:12 - What the Flip? Moments --------------------------------------------------------- LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Podcasthon - https://podcasthon.org/ mASCot - https://www.asc-mascot.com Donate to mASCot via Givey - https://www.givey.com/mascot National Autistic Society - https://www.autism.org.uk/ PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ Bristol Parent Carers Forum - https://www.bristolparentcarers.org.uk/ The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene - https://amzn.eu/d/0jkdMxga Spectrum Squad Penarth - https://www.facebook.com/groups/2039735040102766/ Brighton Neurodivergent Community (BNC) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/brightonneurodiverse --------------------------------------------------------- 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles --------------------------------------------------------- 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

The knotty issue of hair care | Rebecca Huseyin

Mark is joined by returning guest Rebecca Hussain for a hilarious chat about the perils of trying to introduce any kind of hair care routine to our neurodivergent kids. It’s a knotty issue for loads of Neuroshambolic families - whether it's brushing, washing, cutting it or trying to navigate dreaded nit combs. Mark and Rebecca unpick why hair-related stuff can be so dysregulating for our autistic, ADHD or PDA kids - from sensory overwhelm and loss of control, to the irrepressible instinct to run away when someone approaches them with a brush and they're already feeling overwhelmed. Rebecca explains her role as night time hair brushing ninja and Mark recounts the horror story of the time he tried to trim India's fringe himself. They also dig into the awkward realities of salons and barbers, the compromises that sometimes (briefly) work, and the grim truth that a lot of so-called “simple” solutions don’t feel simple at all when you’re parenting a child with a PDA profile, ADHD traits, or autism-related sensory sensitivities. If you’re after autistic parenting advice that feels human rather than preachy, this one will have you nodding, laughing and cringing in equal measure. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS 00:00:37 - Intro 00:01:07 - Meet the guest: Rebecca Huseyin 00:05:36 - What’s the topic of the week? Hair care 00:08:01 - Haircuts: clippers, salons and pure dread 00:13:16 - Dealing with brushing & knots - night time ninja brushing 00:21:40 - Sensory overload: why hair care causes so much overwhelm 00:25:25 - The drama of washing their hair 00:42:34 - Barbers/hairdressers: trusting a stranger with scissors 00:47:15 - Products, routines and reducing the stakes 00:55:08 - The reason some neurodivergent’s prefer long hair 00:58:10 - The lengths we go to for a haircut 01:03:12 - Not wanting people to notice their hair 01:05:47 - Reliving Mark’s trauma of cutting India’s fringe 01:18:17 - A surprising India haircut success story 01:21:04 - It’s not all rubbish: looking at the Positives 01:22:22 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:26:10 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:31:18 - What the Flip Moments? LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE A Boy Less Ordinary (Rebecca’s blog) - https://aboylessordinary.com/ PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ Jem’s Hair brush - https://amzn.eu/d/0dTSItLZ India’s hair brush - https://amzn.eu/d/072vd0L6 India’s coconut scented hair brush - https://amzn.eu/d/05Er65tF Nit comb - https://amzn.eu/d/00cSPgcz Grappling with Personal Hygiene episode of Neuroshambles - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/grappling-with-personal-hygiene-rebecca-huseyin Wash and Go - https://amzn.eu/d/0cmgCDdU Danielle Jata-Hall / “PDA Parenting” - https://pdaparenting.com/ Hairport (Brighton) - https://www.brightonhairport.co.uk/ EAG Expo, Docklands - https://www.eagexpo.com/ 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Raising SEND kids: the dads’ perspective | Terry Lloyd

Mark Allen is joined by Terry Lloyd for an honest, insightful and humorous chat about what it feels like to parent neurodivergent kids from a dad’s perspective. They lift the lid on why dads are always “late to the party” when it comes to recognising neurodivergence, struggling to process what it all means, and figuring out how to show up properly for your family - especially when one parent has already been doing the heavy lifting for ages. They also delve into how traditional gender roles can make everything harder, and why guilt, grief and defensiveness can quietly shape how dads respond in the early days. There are also plenty of practical, lived-experience tales about having to unlearn how we were parented, getting on the same page as your co-parent and the challenge of not accidentally becoming the bad cop. A must listen for any dads raising autistic, ADHD or PDA kids, as well as any mums interesting in hearing a different perspective of the challenges men face, but often can't articulate. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:00:37 – Intro and what’s coming up 00:01:15 – Meet the Guest: Terry Lloyd 00:04:07 – Topic of the Week: Dads and the neurodivergent parenting journey 00:05:36 – Being late to the party spotting neurodivergence (and why dads often miss it) 00:06:05 – Inheriting breadwinner v caregiver roles, and the mental load gap 00:10:47 – When your co-parent says “something’s different” 00:17:03 – Labels, diagnosis, and why denial delays support 00:25:21 – The provider/disciplinarian stereotype (and how it backfires) 00:32:07 – How our own upbringing can influence dads' approach to parenting 00:36:52 – PDA, control, and why authority dynamics don't work 00:48:34 – Before diagnosis: doubt, uncertainty, and needing clarity 00:51:20 – Grief, shame, and the emotional weight of realising your child is neurodivergent 00:55:40 – The importance of finding other dads in the same boat 01:00:07 – Learning the hard way (books and resources that helped) 01:09:54 – Advice for dads needing to get more hands-on 01:21:08 – It’s Not All Rubbish: Finding the positives 01:24:59 – Neurodiversity Champions 01:27:57 – Tiny Epic Wins 01:29:49 – What the Flip Moments 01:34:52 – Outro (how to share your stories, links to the socials and wrap-up) ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles website – https://www.neuroshambles.com The Journey into SEND Fatherhood (book Mark and Terry contributed to) - https://amzn.eu/d/03g3S0J7 The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene (book) - https://amzn.eu/d/0az7Uy7e SEND Dads Drop In (Facebook group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/3100788930061466 PDA Father Figures (Facebook group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/809973900027348 Lisa Lloyd (@asd_with_a_g_and_t) - https://linktr.ee/ASDwithagandt Raising the SEN-Betweeners by Lisa Lloyd (book) - https://amzn.eu/d/01pvrF2f SAA Clothing (sensory-friendly clothing) - https://www.saaclothing.com/ Let Us Learn Too (parent/carer education campaign) - https://letuslearntoo.wordpress.com/ Amaze Sussex dads support group (run by Darren Walker) - https://amazesussex.org.uk/events/dads-group-east-sussex/ ⸻ 📣 CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles ⸻ 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

How broken is the healthcare system? | Dr Lucy Pocock

Episode 50 of this neurodivergent parenting podcast takes a clear, practical look at how families in the UK end up navigating the healthcare system when they suspect their child might be autistic and/or ADHD. Mark is joined by Lucy Pocock, a registered GP and parent of a neurodivergent child, as they pull back the curtain and take a deep dive into how the system works (and why it so often doesn’t). They talk through the routes families are typically funnelled into when they’re seeking support: school evidence, GP involvement, referrals, and the confusing reality that the pathway can look completely different depending on where you live. It’s the sort of honest, informative discussion many families of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids wish existed when they first started asking questions. Mark and Lucy also unpack what happens once ADHD enters the mix - including medication pathways, titration, prescribing delays, and the complexities of shared care. Lucy explains why bottlenecks happen, what GPs can and can’t do, and how those constraints land on families already stretched to breaking point. Along the way, the conversation touches on demand-avoidant (PDA) profiles, why some parents go private, and what families can realistically expect when it comes to letters and evidence for things like EHCP and DLA. It’s the kind of candid, good humoured and insightful chat that this neurodivergency parenting podcast is known for. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:00:37 - Episode 50 intro 00:01:20 - Meet the Guest (Lucy Pocock) 00:03:07 - Topic of the Week – UK healthcare and ND referrals (the two main routes) 00:09:23 - The postcode lottery, delays, and mismatched pathways 00:17:42 - ADHD medication: shared care, titration, and why CAMHS take so long 00:27:31 - Lucy's journey with her own PDA son's diagnosis as a GP 00:34:00 - Training: Oliver McGowan and the impact within the NHS 00:37:15 - How much neurodiversity scepticism is there within the healthcare system? 00:42:00 - What can you do if your GP is not informed about neurodiversity? 00:46:15 - Are there really parents trying to take advantage of the system? 00:56:00 - What support can we ask for from our GP that we don't know about? 00:59:45 - Could GP's relieve some of the burden from CAMHS? 01:04:30 - GP limitations on prescribing drugs: melatonin and anti-depressants 01:07:00 - Shared care, Right to Choose and commissioning constraints 01:10:45 - Is the system broken? Why is support for neurodivergency such a postcode lottery? 01:20:30 - How can we fix the flaws in the healthcare system? 01:27:00 - Looking at the positives 01:30:03 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:32:27 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:35:26 - What the Flip Moments LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Shared care - https://www.wessexlmcs.com/guidance/understanding-shared-care-nhs-right-to-choose-and-private-providers/ Right to choose - https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/ CAMHS - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/ Oliver McGowan training - https://www.hee.nhs.uk/our-work/learning-disability/current-projects/oliver-mcgowan-mandatory-training-learning-disability-autism FII (Fabricated and Induced Illness) - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/fabricated-or-induced-illness/overview/ Neuroshambles: Medicating our children | Danielle Jata-Hall - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/medicating-our-children-danielle-jata-hall Melatonin - https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/melatonin/ Neuroshambles: The Bumpy Road to Diagnosis | Tam - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/the-bumpy-road-to-diagnosis-tam Murmuration Community, Bristol - https://www.murmurationcommunitytherapy.com/ Incredible Kids, Bristol - https://incrediblekids.org.uk/ CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

School: The Primary Years | Grace Lockrobin

If you’ve ever felt like Key Stage 2 at school was when it all got harder - not only for your neurodivergent child, but also for you as a parent - this is the episode for you. Mark is joined by philosophy educator and fellow Neuroshambler Grace Lockrobin for a cathartic look at the ages of 7-11, which is where the wheels can start to wobble more for our autistic, ADHD or PDA kids. Together, they unpack the pressures of conformity, the nightmare of homework and the heartbreak of parents evenings. From school trips and transitions to SATs and navigating playground politics, they shine a light on why this age can be so tough - and why the system often gets it wrong. It’s warm, witty, and full of the kind of honesty that makes you feel just a little less alone when your child doesn’t quite fit the mould. If you’re searching for an autism parenting podcast or ADHD parenting podcast that actually reflects the messy, hilarious, heartbreaking truth of raising neurodivergent children, you're in the right place. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro and meet the guest 03:30 - What’s changed since we last spoke 05:50 - Intro to topic of the week 23:00 - The challenges of the shift in KS2 teaching style 10:00 - Misguided attempts to get them to "catch up" 13:00 - The role that transitions play in these difficulties 22:15 - Social cliques and friendship dynamics 35:15 - Bullying 43:00 - The difficulty of parents’ evenings 57:15 - Homework nightmares 1:00:40 - The unhelpful pressure of SATs 1:06:25 - School trips 1:12:10 - It's not all rubbish: looking at the positives 1:24:15 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:27:45 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:30:00 - “What the Flip?” Moments 1:33:50 - Wrap-up and where to find us ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: SATs - https://educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2022/05/everything-you-need-to-know-about-sats/ Karate Zone - https://karatezone.com/ PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

How autistic is your child? | Kieran Rose

What do we mean when we describe someone as “severely autistic”? Why is it so hard to explain what being autistic actually means? And how useful (or harmful) are terms like high-functioning, low-functioning, profound autism, or even Asperger’s? Kieran Rose returns for a deep dive into the language we use to describe autism - and why it often does more harm than good. He and Mark explore the flaws in functioning labels, the dangers of ranking autistic traits, and how trying to quantify someone’s autism usually misses the point. In a wide-ranging and compassionate chat, Mark and Kieran explore how complex, deeply personal and often contradictory this topic is - both for parents and for autistic people themselves. What starts as a provocative question ends up as a fascinating conversation about diagnosis, co-occurring conditions, identity, education, eugenics, power, and prejudice. A powerful, enlightening and empowering episode - a must-listen for anyone parenting autistic kids who’s ever felt under pressure to explain, justify or minimise their child’s neurodivergence. 📍 CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro: Meet Kieran Rose 04:30 - Life in a Fully Neurodivergent Household 08:00 - Topic of the Week: How Autistic Is Your Child? 12:00 - Labels, Bias, and the Stigma Around Autism 18:00 - High vs Low Functioning: Where It Comes From 23:00 - What Even Is Autism? 28:30 - The Flawed Legacy of Asperger’s 35:00 - Identity vs Diagnosis 42:00 - DSM-5 Levels of Autism: Why They Don’t Work 49:00 - Profound Autism and The New York Times Article 55:00 - A Counterpoint: The Voices We Don’t Hear 1:00:00 - Co-occurring Conditions and the Real Source of Needs 1:07:00 - Clinical Labels vs Lived Experience 1:14:00 - Mark’s Imposter Syndrome as an Autism Parent 1:18:00 - What’s the Alternative? 1:23:00 - Final Thoughts: Humanising, Not Diagnosing 1:27:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:33:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:39:00 - “What the Flip?” Moments 1:43:00 - Wrap-up & Where to Find Us 🔗 LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Kieran Rose website - https://theautisticadvocate.com/ Eugenics - https://www.newscientist.com/definition/eugenics/ Asperger Syndrome - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism/the-history-of-autism/asperger-syndrome Hans Asperger - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Asperger Lorna Wing - https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/lorna-wing-an-autism-hero DSM-5 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5 PDF Download of DSM-5 - https://ia800707.us.archive.org/15/items/info_munsha_DSM5/DSM-5.pdf New York Times article: The Autism Spectrum Is Too Broad - https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/16/opinion/autism-diagnosis-category-stigma.html Greta Thunberg - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-49918719 What is monotropism? - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/what-is-monotropism Ehlers Danlos Syndromes - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ehlers-danlos-syndromes/ Communication First - https://communicationfirst.org/ Autism Central - https://www.autismcentral.org.uk/ Kieran Rose Animated Guide to Monotropism - https://youtu.be/qUFDAevkd3E?si=diwlbe4AHRcxfjQF Kieran Rose Animated Guide to The Double Empathy Problem - https://youtu.be/qpXwYD9bGyU?si=7bnGR2UsrCgLa_hL KIERAN'S HOMEWORK Kieran Rose Blog: Autism, it’s Labels and the Language of Pathologising Rhetoric - https://theautisticadvocate.com/autism-its-labels-and-the-language-of-pathologising-rhetoric/ Sunday Times article: Extra time in exams ‘unhealthy’ for children with ADHD and autism - https://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/extra-time-exams-unhealthy-children-adhd-autism-k820s56zh TES magazine article: Sami Timimi: Why ‘invented’ SEND labels are disabling pupils - https://www.tes.com/magazine/teaching-learning/general/sami-timimi-interview-problems-with-send-diagnosis-adhd-autism Yahoo News: Badenoch says motability cars not for people with ADHD - https://uk.news.yahoo.com/badenoch-motability-cars-not-people-135341300.html?guccounter=1 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

• Transcript

Kids refusing medical help | Michelle Parton

Why won’t our neurodivergent kids just take the bloody Calpol? Michelle Parton joins mark to explore the baffling and emotionally loaded issue of kids who resist medical help. Mark and Michelle swap tales of their kids’ iron-willed resistance to all forms of treatment - even when they’re clearly in pain, bleeding, or itching uncontrollably. Together, they explore the many reasons this might be happening - from sensory issues and PDA to past trauma, masking, and a fundamental lack of trust in strangers in latex gloves. It’s funny, cathartic, at times heartbreaking - definitely one for any parent of autistic, ADHD or PDA kids who have ever tried (and failed) to put a plaster on their dysregulated child before they bleed out! ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Michelle Parton 03:00 – Topic of the Week: Refusing Medical Help 08:00 – Kids hiding injuries 13:00 – Dysregulation about the prospect of going to the doctor 17:30 – Trust issues with medical professionals 23:00 – Lyme disease and the unholy nightmare of blood tests 29:00 – Trying to administer medication 35:00 – The impact of sensory overwhelm: Plasters, creams & the taste of medication 42:00 – The added complication with PDA kids 47:00 – The role that masking might play 54:00 – How alexithymia and interoception can influence things 59:00 – The impact of past traumatic experiences 1:04:00 – The positives 1:06:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:10:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:14:00 – “What the Flip?” moments 1:18:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Us ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Lyme Disease - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/lyme-disease/ Alexithymia - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg4ky5qgrlpo Interoception - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing Beyond Creative Education - https://www.beyondcreativeeducation.org.uk/ ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Difficulty with transitions - Part 2 | Pete Wharmby

In part two of this deep dive into transitions, Mark reunites with Pete Wharmby to look at more reasons they can cause such a monumental challenge for autistic, ADHD and PDA kids (and adults). From difficulties pulling our kids away from screen-time and replacing a broken fridge, to the regular flashpoint of brushing teeth, Mark and Pete share real-life strategies that can make these transitions more manageable - or at the very least a bit more fun. Pete shares what he wishes more teachers understood, and Mark reflects on how small wins in transition can change the whole feel of a day. Essential for any parent of neurodivergent kids who has ever said “we need to leave now”… and regretted it instantly. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Welcome back and reintroducing Pete Wharmby 02:30 - Recap of what we covered in episode 45 and why transitions affect all neurodivergent kids 06:10 - Screen time, flow states and Pete's oil tanker analogy 16:45 - The role that monotropism plays in transitions 27:00 - Strategies: lead-In Times, choice and routines 36:40 - Understanding how PDA affects transitions and why it’s not just defiance 46:00 - Strategies for control-driven transitions (e.g. declarative language) 55:30 - Difficulty throwing stuff away: fridges, crocs and clinging to familiarity 1:04:30 - Schools as the perfect storm of transitional triggers 1:15:20 - The positives 1:18:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:20:40 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:23:15 - "What the flip?" moments 1:26:00 - Wrap-up and thanks ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pete Wharmby website - https://petewharmby.com/ Untypical by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/8gGK6v4 What I Want to Talk About, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/6tY0kZQ What is monotropism? - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/what-is-monotropism Last One Laughing - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOL:_Last_One_Laughing_UK Ausome Training, Cothu course - https://ausometraining.com/cothu-with-pete-wharmby Declarative language - https://lifeskillsadvocate.com/blog/declarative-language-for-neurodivergent-communicators/ Anna Freud - https://www.annafreud.org/ Georgia Pavlopoulou (LinkedIn) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-georgia-pavlopoulou-651a042a Neuro Nook Storytime - https://www.neuronookstorytime.com/ Bedknobs and Broomsticks - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedknobs_and_Broomsticks Silksong - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Knight:_Silksong ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay

Difficulty with transitions - Part 1 | Pete Wharmby

This episode of Neuroshambles, will resonate will all parents of neurodivergent kids, as Mark discusses difficulties with transition with the wonderful autism advocate, Pete Wharmby. Together, they delve into the messy, stressful, and often misunderstood world of transitions – from seemingly small everyday routines to major life changes. Whether it’s leaving the house, going into school, or prying them away from screen time, transitions can often be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare for parents of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. But why exactly are they so hard – and what can we do to ease the load? In part one if this two part special, they discuss the neurological and emotional roots of transition difficulties, and how demand avoidance, anxiety and executive dysfunction play a role. This is an insightful, heartfelt, and cathartic episode full of insight, compassion and practical suggestions, as well as a much-needed sense of solidarity for anyone who’s ever dreaded their kids being invited to a birthday party. — CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro and why this is only part one 03:30 – Meet the guest: Pete Wharmby 12:00 – Transitions: What they are and why they’re so difficult 19:00 – Fear of the unknown 25:00 – Why birthday parties can be so anxiety-inducing 32:00 – Strategies for smoother transitions to the unknown 40:00 – School and powerlessness 48:00 – Holidays, Google Earth and visual planning 55:00 – Fear of the Known: Why school can feel like a punishment 1:03:00 – Processing struggles and instruction overload 1:13:00 – Fixable triggers and simple (free) accommodations 1:20:00 – The double-edged sword of hyperfocus 1:24:00 – Neurodiversity Champion: Fight For Ordinary 1:26:30 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:29:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:33:00 – Wrap-up and tease for part 2 — LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION: Pete Wharmby website - https://petewharmby.com/ Untypical by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/8gGK6v4 What I Want to Talk About, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/6tY0kZQ Fight for Ordinary - https://disabledchildrenspartnership.org.uk/fight-for-ordinary/ Google Maps Street View - https://www.google.com/streetview/ Google Earth - https://earth.google.com/web/ Ordnance Survey Maps - https://shop.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/ Albion In The Community - https://bhafcfoundation.org.uk/ Monotropism and Autism Theory - https://monotropism.org/ Interoception - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing — CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles — CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Managing the work/shambles balance | Mark Holborow

How do you hold down a job when your home life is full-on chaos? Mark is joined by fellow dad Mark Holborow to take a refreshingly honest look at the difficulties of holding down a job, while raising neurodivergent kids and trying (often unsuccessfully) to keep those two worlds from colliding.. They explore the dubious benefits of working from home, burnout, discrimination, and what happens when employers don’t understand - or care - about your home life. Mark Holborrow shares his career journey and how he’s built boundaries that actually work. Mark Allen opens up about the guilt of trying to “do it all”. It’s a cathartic, relatable deep dive into the realities of navigating employment when your home life is anything but typical - with plenty of laughs, rants, and candid talk about autism, ADHD, PDA and neurodivergent parenting. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Listener Survey Feedback 05:30 – Meet the Guest: Mark Holborough 10:00 – The Challenges of working parents 16:30 – Working from Home with neurodifferent Kids 25:00 – Background chaos, interruptions and client calls 33:00 – The emotional guilt of being the breadwinner 40:00 – Supporting the non-working Parent 53:00 – How open can you be at work? 1:00:00 – Hiding a child at work: Real life stories 1:07:00 – Why parents of neuro-exceptional kids make great employees 1:13:00 – The economic cost of caring 1:26:00 – The Positives 1:29:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:33:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:37:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:41:00 – Wrap-up and thanks ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Neuroshambles Listener Survey: https://forms.gle/2wFVupe4HumCYym6A LSE Report – The Economic Case for Prioritising Autism in Policy and Reform: http://lse.ac.uk/cpec/assets/documents/Autismeconomics.pdf The Sunflower Alliance – raising awareness of hidden disabilities: https://hdsunflower.com/ BUPA Medical Insurance: https://www.bupa.co.uk/health/health-insurance-ppc-b ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Swearing | Heidi Mavir

Why do so many neurodivergent kids swear - loudly, creatively and often at the worst possible moment? Heidi Mavir returns for a lively and cathartic deep dive into swearing. From F-bombs on the trampoline to grandparent-safe alternatives, they explore how language, context, and neurodivergent wiring all shape how (and why) our kids swear. They explore the relationship between swearing and regulation, impulse control, PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), sensory overload, and social context. Heidi shares her take on separating language from intent, and Mark talks about learning when it's best to simply look the other way. Whether you’re a proudly sweary household or struggling to police your neurodivergent child's potty-mouth moments, this insightful autism parenting podcast episode is packed with nuance, honesty, and a surprising amount of empathy - even for those who hate bad language. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Welcome Back & Meet the Guest: Heidi Mavir 03:00 - School Turbulence, Burnout & Finding Your Flow 08:00 - Why Swearing Is This Week’s Topic 12:00 - What Is a Swear Word Anyway? 18:00 - Swearing, Context & Cultural Taboos 25:00 - Family Rules: “Nana Swears” vs “F-Bombs at Home” 33:00 - Parenting Through Swearing: Where Do You Draw the Line? 41:00 - PDA, Equalising Behaviour & Rage Rooms 50:00 - When the Swears Are Aimed at You 58:00 - Swearing as a Self-Regulation Strategy 1:03:00 - Should We Be Policing Swearing at All? 1:12:00 - Swearing and Impulse Control in ADHD 1:17:00 - Teaching Context Without Policing Expression 1:25:00 - Workarounds, Wordplay & Sweary Shenanigans 1:30:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:35:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:40:00 - Wrap-Up & Where to Find Heidi ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Heidi Mavir website - https://www.heidimavir.com/ Heidi’s “Your child is not broken” book - https://amzn.eu/d/cjoih9W Eliza Fricker “Can’t not won’t” book - https://amzn.eu/d/91m7voc PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-pda/ “F*ck you I won’t do what you tell me”, song lyric by Rage Against The Machine - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWXazVhlyxQ Lindsay McGlone - https://www.instagram.com/rollinwithlindsay_/ Reclaimed Means Business - https://lindsaymcglone.kartra.com/page/RMB2025 ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com