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Midnight Carmelite

Andrew Gniadek

When God feels silent, you are not doing it wrong.

You are not failing. You are undergoing a metaphysical surgery known as the Dark Night of the Soul.

Midnight Carmelite helps you navigate the void using the philosophy and mystical theology of St. John of the Cross.

No platitudes. No "trying harder." Just the map you need to navigate the ascent.

Hosted by Andrew Gniadek.

Start Here: Read the Field Guide https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight/

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21 episodes
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Avg 9 min
English

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S11 · E21
Wednesday · 6 min
Desiring God Alone: Unifying a Fractured Heart
In this episode of Midnight Carmelite, we explore the nature of human desire and how it shapes our attention and actions. From material goals to social ambitions, our desires can easily fragment our hearts and subject us to endless pursuits. Referencing St. John of the Cross and Jesus's teachings on poverty of spirit, we discuss how desiring God alone unifies the heart and rightly orders all other needs, freeing us to truly love Him. The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the biweekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter. https://midnightcarmelite.com/compass
S11 · E20
August 12 · 5 min
The Will, The Intellect, and the Secret Knowledge of Love
In this episode of Midnight Carmelite, we explore the deep connection between prayer, the intellect, and will. Drawing on the wisdom of St. John of the Cross and a famous illustration by Bishop Fulton Sheen, we uncover how intellectual knowledge naturally leads to love and how love, in turn, begets a profound "love knowledge" that surpasses all concepts. We discuss why God sometimes withdraws spiritual consolations and how true prayer is found not in feelings or inspirations but in the silent, refocusing act of the will choosing to love God for who He is. The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the biweekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter. https://midnightcarmelite.com/compass
S11 · E19
July 29 · 5 min
The Road to Perfection: What It Actually Means
In this episode, we unpack the true meaning of the road to perfection in the spiritual life. Tracing the word back to its Latin and Greek roots (perfectio, perficere, telos), we discuss how perfection is not a static endpoint but a complete action with ongoing results. Using a sports analogy, we explore the difference between quantitative capacity and qualitative greatness. We then turn to the wisdom of St. John of the Cross and St. Thérèse of Lisieux to understand how a continuous desire to serve God, not achieving flawless moments, is the true path to union with Him. Key Topics Discussed: The etymology of perfection (perfectio and telos) and what it implies. Analogies from sports regarding capacity, potential, and qualitative greatness. How the grammar of Christ’s final words on the cross ("It is finished") reveals the nature of a completed action with continuing impact. St. John of the Cross on the continuous desire to serve God as the true measure of perfection. The difference between our objective spiritual reality and subjective experience. St. Thérèse of Lisieux's teaching on perfection: simply being who God calls us to be. The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the biweekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter. https://midnightcarmelite.com/compass
S11 · E18
July 15 · 5 min
Overcoming Fear Through Christ's Poverty
In this episode, we dive deeply into the mystery of the Incarnation and how we are meant to relate to Christ. Drawing from a profound quote by St. Augustine, we explore how Christ made the things we fear losing entirely worthless by depriving Himself of them. We examine what it truly means to be poor in spirit, how to navigate worldly dignities, and the Christian response to injustice. Ultimately, echoing the wisdom of St. John of the Cross, we are called to radical detachment—assigning true worth only to God and aligning our lives perfectly with His divine will. Key Topics Discussed: The mystery of the Incarnation and God's perfect wisdom. St. Augustine's contrast between worldly desires and Christ's choices. Understanding true poverty of spirit in our daily duties. Responding to injustices as a Christian witness. St. John of the Cross and the call to detach from worthless things. The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the biweekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter. https://midnightcarmelite.com/compass
S11 · E17
July 1 · 5 min
The Craftsmen of Your Holiness: Embracing Silence
In this episode, we unpack a profound quote from St. John of the Cross: "When something distasteful or unpleasant comes your way, remember Christ crucified and be silent." We explore how the natural human reaction is to defend ourselves against perceived injustices, but the spiritual path calls us to a radical silence. By viewing our adversaries not as enemies but as God's chosen craftsmen, we can embrace the purifying chisel of suffering. Like Christ annihilated on the cross without consolation, we are called to trust God as our sole vindicator and allow our trials to sculpt us into saints. The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the biweekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter. https://midnightcarmelite.com/compass
S11 · E16
June 17 · 6 min
The Shadow of Our Own Greatness
The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the biweekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter. https://midnightcarmelite.com/compass The rejection of God's illuminating grace is rarely a passive error; it is an active, willful orientation of the lower faculties toward the trivial. When the soul prioritizes its own spiritual achievements over divine teleology, it cultivates an ontological resistance to the light. This spiritual pride obscures the intellect, causing the individual to excuse their faults rather than confront them. To rectify this disordered attachment to creatures and spiritual gratification, the soul must undergo the rigorous purification of the Dark Night, stripping the ego of itself to restore a state of genuine, childlike receptivity. Why the willful preference for darkness constitutes an active rejection of divine charity rather than a passive misunderstanding of grace. The ontological distinction between the exposing light of God and the self-serving darkness of creaturely attachment. How spiritual pride manifests in the faculties as a vain desire to instruct others and a refusal to accuse oneself in the confessional. The theological necessity of spiritual dryness as a mechanism to detach the soul from the comfortable darkness of the ego.
S11 · E15
June 3 · 5 min
Detachment and the Mode of the Receiver
The theological maxim that "whatever is received is received according to the mode of the receiver" dictates the teleology of the beginner's approach to Mental Prayer. Before a soul can endure the profound Silence of God, the lower faculties—specifically the imagination and the sensory appetites—must be habituated to spiritual realities. Discursive reflection serves as the material cause for this initial phase of prayer, gradually drawing the soul away from the measure of the world and reorienting it toward the measure of Christ. This fundamental shift mortifies the ego and begins the purification of the will, preparing the intellect for the deeper, stripping work of the Dark Night. The Function of the Imagination: How discursive meditation utilizes the lower faculties to transition the soul from sensory dependence to genuine spiritual affection. The Metaphysics of Detachment: Why true renunciation transcends the mere absence of finite goods and requires the active mortification of the will against pride and outcomes. The Mode of the Receiver: How habituating the intellect through the initial frameworks of St. John of the Cross expands the soul's capacity to receive grace. Clearing the Vapors: The necessity of determined constancy in prayer to remove the attachments that obscure the divine light from illuminating the soul. I wrote a comprehensive guide on the metaphysics of the Dark Night and how to navigate it without losing your mind. Start Here: Read the Field Guide https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight/
S11 · E14
May 20 · 5 min
Spiritual Pride and the Trap of Personal Peace
The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the bi-weekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter: https://midnightcarmelite.com/compass The desire for the extirpation of personal flaws often masks a deeper corruption: spiritual pride. When the soul demands relief from its faults primarily to secure psychological tranquility, it misinterprets the teleology of purgation, substituting self-satisfaction for the absolute reality of God. St. John of the Cross demonstrates that the lower faculties crave an unblemished self-image, transforming an intrinsic spiritual good into a vehicle for selfishness. True transformation within the Dark Night requires the complete subordination of the ego, wherein even our persistent imperfections are recognized as providential instruments designed to shatter self-reliance and anchor the will in God alone. The Teleology of Purgation: How a well-intentioned desire to eradicate faults becomes corrupted when the ultimate end is self-directed peace rather than the glory of God. Motive as a Cause: An analysis of how an ordered object (virtue) is entirely ruined when married to selfishness. Providential Faults: The metaphysical necessity of persistent imperfections as a tool utilized by God to cultivate true humility and break the reliance on human praise. The Oil of the Wise Virgins: Interpreting Matthew 25 through a Carmelite lens, shifting the focus from external validation to an interior orientation directed solely toward the Divine.
S11 · E13
May 6 · 6 min
Finding the Right Measure in the Spiritual Life
Authentic contemplation requires the purification of the three faculties: memory, intellect, and will. By analyzing the "riverbanks" of the soul, we distinguish between mere emotional impulse and the deliberate act of the will ordered toward Christ as its final cause. Understanding why St. John of the Cross prioritizes the triad of memory, intellect, and will as the principal seats of spiritual operation and their specific disposition via the theological virtues. An analysis of "mountains" (excess) and "lowlands" (defect) as the extremes of vice that pull the soul away from its supernatural end. Why venial sins and spiritual imperfections thrive in the “riverbank” state—acts that appear level but lack the right order and certitude of faith. How the humanity of Christ serves as the objective “mean” between extremes, providing the necessary framework for interpreting reality and neighbor. The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the bi-weekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter. midnightcarmelite.com/compass Stuck in the Silence? The old maps—standard devotionals and "trying harder"—won't work here. You need new coordinates. I wrote a comprehensive guide on the metaphysics of the Dark Night and how to navigate it without losing your mind. Start Here: Read the Field Guide https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight/
S11 · E12
April 22 · 6 min
The Divine Guest: Saying 'Yes' To Christ's Humanity
Prayer frequently devolves into an abstract exercise or a compartmentalized hosting of the Divine. However, when the soul becomes ensnared by the lower faculties of memory and imagination in replaying temporal grievances or chasing sensible consolations. Drawing upon the Carmelite tradition and St. Teresa of Avila, we examine how the humanity of Christ serves as the necessary mediator. True mental prayer requires moving beyond transient passions to a deliberate act of the will, establishing a continuous, undefended assent to His presence in every action. The Teleology of Emotion: Why focusing on Christ's humanity in joy or sorrow is not about resting in sensible feelings but utilizing them as the material cause for the will's movement toward divine love. The Purification of Memory: Recognizing useless imaginative wandering and arresting the exhausting cycle of dwelling on past temporal honors or injuries. The Governance of Passions: Ensuring that hope, joy, sorrow, and fear are ordered by reason, perfectly hitting the target between excess and defect. The Divine Presence: Why compartmentalizing Christ within temporal boundaries limits the continuous infusion of grace required for contemplative union. The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the biweekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter: midnightcarmelite.com/compass New Here? If the silence is deafening and you need immediate triage, start with my free guide, The 5-Minute Prayer Reset: https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight
S11 · E11
April 8 · 5 min
God’s Unique Paths: Avoiding Spiritual Tyranny
We often mistake uniformity for unity, attempting to force our spiritual progress into a standardized "method of procedure." St. John of the Cross warns that this is a form of spiritual tyranny. Whether it comes from an overbearing director, a rigid community, or our own prideful ego, the attempt to "hew the wood" of the soul without respecting God’s unique artistry leads to a "restriction of the breath of God." This episode examines the surgery required to remove the ego's possessiveness, making room for a Holy Spirit that refuses to be localized by our limitations. The Tyranny of Procedure: Why treating the spiritual life as a standardized assembly line deprives the soul of its necessary freedom. The Wood, the Polish, and the Paint: Understanding the diverse roles people play in our formation and why jealousy arises when we fail to see the "Multiplicity in Unity." The Ego’s Monopoly: How claiming a "definitive interpretation" of the interior life acts as a barrier to the resurrection. Getting Out of the Way: Why the "method of God" rarely looks like the "method of man" and how to identify the subtle greed of spiritual possessiveness.
S11 · E10
March 25 · 5 min
The Habit of Imitating Christ
The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the bi-weekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter. https://midnightcarmelite.com/compass New Here? If the silence is deafening and you need immediate triage, start with my free guide: The 5-Minute Prayer Reset. https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight The entrance into the Dark Night is often blocked by a fundamental disorientation: we attempt to navigate the "void" without a North Star. St. John of the Cross identifies the first movement toward conquering the appetites as a habitual desire to imitate Christ. However, many people attempt to imitate a projection rather than a Person. We must move past emotional sentimentality and into a rigorous, interiorized study of the Gospels. Without the blueprint of the Word, the soul lacks the necessary coordinates to bring its life into conformity with the Divine. Why true union with God is impossible without the mediation of the historical and mystical Christ. Understanding spiritual growth through the lens of craftsmanship—moving from external mimicry to internal mastery. Identifying why "not knowing" Christ’s reactions in Scripture leads to a breakdown in the active purgation of the senses. How to maintain the habit of imitation even when the internal state is dominated by frustration or sadness.
S11 · E9
March 11 · 5 min
The Poison of Spiritual Envy vs. the Beauty of Holy Envy
Stuck in the Silence? The old maps—standard devotionals and "trying harder"—won't work here. You need new coordinates. I wrote a comprehensive guide on the metaphysics of the Dark Night and how to navigate it without losing your mind. Start Here: Read the Field Guide https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight/ In this episode of Midnight Carmelite, we perform a metaphysical surgery on a subtle, insidious parasite: Spiritual Envy. St. John of the Cross describes this not just as a character flaw, but as a direct resistance to the Light. When we witness the Truth of God in another—their discipline, their peace, or their proximity to God—and feel a twinge of grief rather than joy, we are experiencing a contraction of charity. We explore the mechanics of "mud-throwing" and how the ego attempts to "undo" the reputations of others to compensate for its own perceived darkness.
S11 · E8
February 25 · 6 min
Stripping the Intellect and the Illusion of Understanding
The Midnight Compass: Stop treating the Dark Night like a mood disorder. You don't need another devotional; you need a map for the void. Get the bi-weekly field guide featuring exact translations and the "Reflect-Pray-Act" micro-disciplines to turn your daily silence into presence and encounter: midnightcarmelite.com/compass New Here? If the silence is deafening and you need immediate triage, start with my free guide: The 5-Minute Prayer Reset: https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight St. John of the Cross warns us against relying solely on our understanding to map out the spiritual life. If you are experiencing spiritual dryness, it is often because you are treating the Divine Mystery as a biological trigger or a data set to be mastered rather than an infinite reality to be encountered through faith. This episode performs a metaphysical surgery on our need for "understanding," demonstrating why trying to grasp God's essence with our intellect leads to a self-imposed gnosticism. We must actively strip away our limited perceptions and allow the darkness of faith to be our true guide. Clinical Notes: The difference between identifying an object (like a rose) and truly understanding its essence, which remains impossible when it comes to the mystery of God. How faith acts as the necessary darkness that helps us see and understand the formal structure of reality proposed by the Church. The specific danger of reducing your spiritual life to a dopamine hit or a closed biological system rather than a relationship with the Divine. The true nature of mercy (Luke 6:36) as an unpredictable gift that requires us to let go of our affairs and desire for vengeance once justice is acknowledged.
S11 · E7
February 12 · 1 hr 15 min
The Colloquy, Session 2: Dr. Larry Chapp On The Law of Proportionate Polarization (S11, EP07)
Stuck in the Silence? The old maps—standard devotionals and "trying harder"—won't work here. You need new coordinates. I wrote a comprehensive guide on the metaphysics of the Dark Night and how to navigate it without losing your mind. Start Here: Read the Field Guide https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight/ In this episode, Dr. Larry Chapp and Andrew analyze the "Law of Proportionate Polarization" and the modern crisis of the "Bureaucratic Register". We discuss why the contemporary institution often fails to address the spiritual crisis because it ignores the "Sanctified Register of the Saint". By attempting to manage the Holy Spirit through programs and synods, the modern church risks losing its "Epistemic Humility" and the essential mystery of the faith. This conversation serves as a triage for the soul caught between a world of "sticks and stuff" and the call to a sacrificial, contemplative life.
S11 · E6
February 11 · 6 min
The Myth of Trying Harder (S11, EP06)
Stuck in the Silence? The old maps—standard devotionals and "trying harder"—won't work here. You need new coordinates. I wrote a comprehensive guide on the metaphysics of the Dark Night and how to navigate it without losing your mind. Start Here: Read the Field Guide https://midnightcarmelite.com/darknight/ We often mistake spiritual activity for spiritual progress. When the sensible consolations of prayer vanish, our natural human instinct is to "panic-buy" our way back into God’s presence through more rosaries, more retreats, and more mental strain. However, this is not a lack of effort; it is a misunderstanding of the metaphysics of the Light. By virtue of your Baptism, you are already in the Light—but an "Excess of Light" can feel like total darkness. The resentment you feel toward a "broken contract" with God is the signal that you are trying to navigate a new landscape with an old, broken map. The Myth of Spiritual Volume: Why adding more vocal prayers during a period of dryness is often a defense mechanism against the actual surgery God is performing. The Metaphysics of Baptism: Understanding your permanent mark as an adopted child of God and why you cannot "fall out" of His light, even when it feels blinding or absent. Productive vs. Unproductive Mortification: How to stop "spiritual thrashing" and pivot toward disciplined detachment from specific habits (like doom-scrolling) rather than mental exhaustion in prayer. The Unique Dialogue: Why universal prescriptions often fail and the necessity of returning to the life of Christ in the Gospels as the "Final Word" of your direction.
S11 · E5
January 28 · 6 min
Detachment, Obedience, and Your State of Life (S11, EP05)
When God feels silent, you aren't doing it wrong. You are hitting the limit of your intellect. The old maps—standard devotionals and "trying harder"—won't work here. You don't need to do more; you need a new coordinate. Download the free 5-Minute Reset: A field guide designed to help you find God in the silence (even with your eyes open). 👉 [Get the Map Here]: https://midnightcarmelite.com/reset Are you afraid that letting go might "break" you? Detachment isn't just about strength; it's a test of listening. In this episode, we explore the link between detachment, obedience as "listening," and how to discern what to hold onto and let go of, to grow in holiness, no matter your state in life. Key Takeaways The True Definition of Obedience: Understand why obedience is not blind submission, but a form of "radical listening" to God through the people and circumstances around you. Navigating State in Life: Learn how to prioritize your vocation (such as marriage) over personal attachments, using the specific example of balancing hobbies with family obligations. The Role of Perseverance: Discover St. Teresa of Avila’s concept of "determined determination" and why getting back up after a failure is just as important as the success itself.
S11 · E4
January 14 · 7 min
The Light of What Is to Come: Why This Hard Work Is Worth It (S11, EP04)
Ready for a Spiritual Fresh Start? Looking to deepen your prayer life beyond the holiday season? Download our free guide to Carmelite spirituality to help you navigate the new year with purpose and peace: https://midnightcarmelite.com/reset Why is the spiritual life such a struggle? When we are asked to detach from the things we love and "walk by starlight," it can feel like an endless battle in the dark. But St. John of the Cross offers a powerful reason why this hard work isn't just necessary—it is the only path to true freedom. In this episode, we dive deep into the "Active Night of the Senses" and the reality of walking by the light of pure faith. We explore the difficult work of mortification and self-denial, viewing them not as arbitrary punishments, but as essential training to reorient our inner compass toward God. We also discuss the profound difference between undergoing purification here on earth versus in Purgatory, and why love for Christ—rather than fear—is the ultimate incentive for embracing the journey. In this episode, you will learn: The Active Night Explained: Understand the subtle but critical difference between healthy recreation and the spiritual danger of seeking consolation for its own sake. Purgatory Now vs. Later: Discover why St. John of the Cross argues that purification in this life (with the body) is preferable to the "unnatural" state of purification in the next. The Path to Union: Learn how the heavy lifting of virtue we do now eventually gives way to a "spiritual marriage" where God’s grace takes over the effort.
S11 · E3
Dec 31, 2025 · 6 min
Walking by the Starlight of Faith: From Consolation to Union (S11, EP03)
Ready for a Spiritual Fresh Start? Looking to deepen your prayer life beyond the holiday season? Download our free guide to Carmelite spirituality to help you navigate the new year with purpose and peace: https://midnightcarmelite.com/reset The decorations are coming down, the carols are ending, and the emotional "high" of Christmas is beginning to wane. But what happens when the angels stop singing and you’re left in the quiet of a cold January? In this episode, we explore how to transition from the temporary feelings of the holidays into a "naked faith"—the kind of faith that sustains you when God feels distant and the path ahead is lit only by the faint glow of starlight. Summary As the festive glow of Christmas begins to fade, how do we transition from fleeting holiday emotions to a steady, persistent faith? Today, we dive into the profound contrast between the shepherds and the Magi. While an explosion of angelic glory greeted the shepherds, the Magi had to endure a long, quiet journey guided by a single star. We discuss why most of our spiritual lives look more like the Magi’s trek than the shepherds’ visitation. You’ll discover how to recognize God’s presence in the ordinary, the beauty of the Eucharist, and why the mystery of the Incarnation is the ultimate proof of God’s infinite love for you—even when you don't "feel" it. Key Takeaways The Shepherd vs. The Magi Experience: Understand why God sometimes gives us "angelic" consolations and why, at other times, He asks us to walk by the "starlight" of pure faith. Finding God in the Ordinary: How to recognize Emmanuel (God with us) in your daily life and the Eucharist, even when you aren't experiencing big spiritual visions. The Power of the Incarnation: Why God becoming man is the ultimate answer to your deepest questions and the necessary starting point for all spiritual growth. Walking the "Starlight" Path of Faith: Practical encouragement for staying faithful to your prayer life when the pomp and circumstance of the season disappear.
S11 · E2
Dec 17, 2025 · 6 min
The Christmas Test: Spiritual Poverty and Difficult People (S11, EP02)
Free Advent Guide: Are you looking to deepen your prayer life this season? Download our free guide to Carmelite spirituality to help you navigate Advent with purpose: https://midnightcarmelite.com/reset Do you feel pressure to create the perfect "Hallmark Christmas," only to be met with stress, difficult relatives, and a feeling of emptiness? We often think that a perfect holiday means abundance, comfort, and peace. However, Bishop Sheen famously remarked that the saddest moment in history was when there was "no room at the inn." In this episode of Midnight Carmelite, we explore the profound theology behind the Manger and the Inn. While the Inn represents a world full of itself with no room for God, the Manger represents the poverty, lack, and discomfort where Christ actually chooses to be born. We discuss how you can transform family tension, awkward conversations, and holiday chores into an offering of "straw" for the baby Jesus, turning your struggles into a path for deep spiritual growth. In this episode, you will learn: The Spiritual Value of Discomfort: Why Christ chose the cold, smelly manger over the comfort of the inn, and what that means for your holiday struggles. How to Navigate Family Conflict: Practical advice on practicing spiritual poverty when dealing with difficult situations or hurtful comments. From Possession to Freedom: Understanding St. John of the Cross’s teaching that to possess God, we must desire to possess nothing—including our own will.

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