Love Your People Well | A Therapist’s Tips For Christian Mom Life, Marriage Help, And Family Relationships

Jessica Hayes, LPC, LMFT - Christian Marriage And Family Therapist, Pastor’s Wife, Mom of 4

Welcome to the Love Your People Well Podcast! Every week here on the show, you’ll get biblical encouragement, gospel hope, and practical tips from my work as a marriage and family therapist and my own home life as a mom of 4 littles.

Every mom can struggle with feeling distracted and discouraged. We can start to feel like we’re drowning in all the important things we want to do.

But every mom also wants to ENJOY her family. You want to find purpose in your motherhood. You want a happy marriage, quality family time, and a close family bond. You want more time with Jesus, more self care, and more joy during the hard seasons.

It is my prayer that you will find that here.

Take a deep breath, friend, and listen in for a few minutes today. You’ll get tips, you’ll get encouragement, and most of all, you’ll get God’s Word and the peace, joy, and purpose that He offers you in this crazy journey of Christian family life.

Head to www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com to grab some free resources, check out my line of devotionals, and get more support.

Hugs & blessings, friend. I’ll talk to you soon!

~ Jess

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412 episodes
Updated July 24

Episodes412

Newest first

Oct 18, 2021 · 12 min
The 50th episode GIVEAWAY starts today! Celebrate with us!
Can you believe it? Next week is our 50th episode of the Love Your People Well Podcast! So today, we are kicking off our 50th Episode Celebration!! Get all the details right here in today's bonus episode. Podcast Review Giveaway! 10/18/21 - 10/25/21 at 5PM EST (details for how to enter are below) Daily Facebook Lives with biblical encouragement inside our private Facebook Group. Free, Live workshop "How to Stay Calm & Connected When Life is Driving You a Little Bit Crazy" on Wednesday, 10/27 at 2PM EST inside the FB Group Wa-hoooo! Celebrate with us! Join our private Facebook Group here: www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell How to enter the giveaway: The winner will receive a gift package that includes: a coffee gift card, a She Reads Truth Bible, the book "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas, and the book "Come to the Family Table" by Ted and Amy Cunningham. Leave a written review for the show in Apple Podcasts (scroll halfway down the main page and in the "Ratings & Reviews" section click the link for Write a Review. Take a screenshot of your review before you hit "Share" Post that screenshot in your Instagram Stories and tag me @loveyourpeoplewell - that tag is your giveaway entry! If you've already posted a review in the past, you can take a screenshot of your already-submitted review. If you don't use Instagram, send me an email at jessica@loveyourpeoplewell.com And make sure to join us inside the Facebook Group on 10/27 for the free workshop! "How to Stay Calm & Connected When Life is Driving You a Little Crazy"
Oct 15, 2021 · 33 min
7 powerful Bible passages to help you manage impatience, anger, and emotional control
Episode 47 // The key to happiness in life often comes down to how we handle our emotions. They are powerful! And typically, the hard emotions linger much longer than the fun emotions. How well do you handle your impatience, anger, and frustration? Does it line up with God’s Word? He is the source of our peace and emotional health. So let’s open the Bible together and look at 7 powerful Bible verses that help us manage our emotions well. . . Get the FULL show notes with episode highlights and resource links at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/047 Join our Facebook Group! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell Grab a FREE copy of the Holy Habits 45-Day Bible & Prayer Challenge: www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/holy-habits Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. Get helpful information about mental health and the counseling experience at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/Counseling
Oct 12, 2021 · 29 min
12 tips to spice up your Christian marriage… building intimacy OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
Episode 46 // Intimacy is about so much more than what happens in the bedroom. I’ve been a marriage counselor for over 10 years now, and have seen the power of emotional, mental, and spiritual intimacy… in addition to, of course, physical intimacy! So let’s spice things up in our marriage today! We’re diving into 12 tips for building intimacy with your husband - outside of the bedroom. Tips that will fit into every day life, and get you more excited for that special time with your husband inside the bedroom. Ready, my friend? Let’s dive in. . . . Get the FULL show notes, freebies, and recommended resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/046 Want to improve your marital intimacy inside the bedroom? Check out the excellent Christian resources from Sheila Wray Gregoire. Is conflict a problem i your marriage? Grab my FREE 10-point Conflict Resolution Checklist. Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, check out some FAQ at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/Counseling Some of the links above are affiliate links. At no extra cost to you, I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase.
Oct 8, 2021 · 28 min
My daily habits that keep me spiritually healthy and help me raise my kids in the Lord (without extra work)
Episode 45 // How do I stay connected to Jesus when life is crazy busy? This is one of the most common questions that I hear from Christian moms. And I get it! It’s hard to fit everything in and feel like we’re doing it well. That’s why today, I want to share a snapshot of my daily spiritual habits that help me stay connected to the Lord throughout the day, and help me disciple my kids without a lot of extra work or things on the to-do list. Plus, we’ll tackle 3 key take-aways that we all need in our life - whatever season the Lord has us in - that help us stay spiritually healthy every day. Are you ready? Let’s dive in. . . . Join our private Facebook Group! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell Grab the resources mentioned in today’s episode: The free Holy Habits 45-Day Bible & Prayer Challenge The Hope Planner (my favorite!) Get the FULL show notes with episode highlights and resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/045 Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, get helpful into at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/counseling. Some of the links above may be affiliate links. At no extra cost to you, I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase.
Oct 5, 2021 · 29 min
The key to happiness, intimacy, and healthy relationships: Loving your actual life and your actual people.
Episode 44 // We all want to be happy. Or even, as the Apostle Paul says, content. But how do we get there? Today’s episode is an encouragement for us all in how to be happy in our life today, our relationships today - even when things aren’t going the way we hoped or planned. We simply cannot enjoy life if we are living for the future or stuck in the past. Do you want to love the life you have? That’s where we’re going today, friend. Let’s dive in. . . . Join our private Facebook Group! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell Get the FULL show notes with episode highlights and resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/044 Grab your free 51 Self Care Ideas list here: www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/Self-Care . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, you’ll find helpful questions and information at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/Counseling.
Oct 1, 2021 · 28 min
Stop fighting! My 10-step checklist for conflict resolution in your marriage and beyond.
Episode 43 // Do you enjoy conflict with your loved ones? Of course not! Conflict is no fun… but it is inevitable. And there are solutions. As a therapist (not to mention a mom and a wife!) I am all too familiar with the pain of dealing with conflict. We all go through it. That’s why we’re looking today at my 10-step checklist for conflict resolution with your loved ones. Ready to get on the same page with the people you love the most? Let’s dive in, friend. . . . Join our Facebook Group! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell Get the FULL show notes with episode highlights and resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/043 Check out helpful resources for the “hot button” marriage conflict here: Sheila Gregoire courses for physical intimacy Dave Ramsey for financial issues . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, visit www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/counseling for help thinking it through. Disclaimer: I am an affiliate for some of the resources listed above. At no cost to you, I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my link.
Sep 28, 2021 · 27 min
It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Try these 8 tips to grow new, deep Christian friendships.
Episode 42 // How are your friendships? We all want them - and I would argue that we NEED deep, healthy friendships to enjoy life to the fullest. But sometimes it seems like it’s harder to develop real friendships as an adult. Life gets busy. We commit so much time to our family, our jobs, our home, our obligations… we sometimes feel left in the dust with our friendships. Not to mention the awkwardness of walking up to a stranger to say hello! Don’t let the excuses hold you back, friend. Today we’re looking at 8 realistic, practical tips that will help you develop deep, real friendships - at any stage of life. Ready? Let’s dive in. . . . Join our free Facebook Group! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell Get ALL the show notes, freebies, and resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/042 Sign up for the free 5 Tools Every Busy Mom Needs: www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/tools . . I am a licensed therapist,t but this podcast is not therapy. If you have questions about mental health counseling visit www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/counseling.
Sep 24, 2021 · 26 min
Want to strengthen your marriage? Protect, grow, and help your marriage with this counseling activity I use as a marriage therapist.
Episode 41 // Today we are strengthening our marriages, my friend. I’m sharing the details of a counseling intervention activity that I use frequently with couples - and it can help your marriage too, whether things are pretty good, really great, or quite a struggle. I’ll spill the beans right now: all you need for this activity is to find 15 minutes in your day. YES. It’s not a magic fifteen minutes, but with the activity that we’ll talk about in this episode, you’ll have some great ideas for how to use that time in a meaningful way. Want to help your marriage? Protect your bond? Spice things up? Let’s dive in. . . Getthe full show notes & resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/039. CHECK OUT THE 3 RESOURCES I MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: Improve your physical intimacy with the resources from Sheila Gregoire www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/Resources (in the Marriage section) Our free Facbeook Group! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell Reduce conflict and tension with my FREE Conflict REsolution Checklist: www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/conflict . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, visit www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/counseling.
Sep 21, 2021 · 28 min
Your words are powerful. But are you using them to help or hurt your loved ones? In marriage, parenting, friendships… your words matter.
Episode 40 // Our words are powerful. They can be used for good, bringing healing and encouragement into our family life. But we all know that insults, complaints, and gossip can slip off our tongue far too easily. Today, we are looking at Ephesians 4 to explore how our words can HELP or HURT our loved ones. If you want a healthy marriage and happy children, you'll wan to grab those earbuds and listen in, friend! . Join the FREE Facebook Group where we engage, encourage, and equip each other! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeplewell Get all the show notes and recommended resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/040 Grab the FREE Conflict Resolution Checklist here: www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/conflict Grab the FREE 5 Tools Every Busy Mom Needs to Move Her Family From Autopilot to Intimacy email course here: www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/tools Connect with me on Instagram! @loveyourpeoplewell . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling visit www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/counseling.
Sep 17, 2021 · 30 min
Take your thoughts captive to Christ.. but how?! Let’s build our intimacy with God and strengthen our own mental health by practicing 4 key steps to controlling our thought life.
Episode 39 // One of the hardest things to do as a Christian is to “take our thoughts captive to Christ.” And yes, this is in the Bible! Our thought life not only guides our spiritual growth but it also directly impacts our mental health. As a counselor, a Christian, and a regular person, I know how quickly our thoughts can move us in a negative, unhelpful, or even untrue direction. But I also know what we need to do about it. So join me today to look at 4 key steps in controlling our thought life. Ready? Let’s dive in. . . Join us in the Facebook Group! We are here to engage, encourage, and equip each other. Visit www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell to join. Get a free copy of the Holy Habits: 45-Day Bible & Prayer Challenge to jump start your devotional life with God: www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/holy-habits You can find ALL the show notes and recommended resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/039 Connect with me on Instagram @loveyourpeoplewell I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, you’ll find some helpful information at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/counseling.
Sep 14, 2021 · 22 min
One simple strategy that will reduce your kids’ temper tantrums and help them (and you!) manage emotions better and develop good coping skills: less anger, less yelling, and MORE bonding
Episode 38 // “I just love it when my toddler has a temper tantrum” … said no mom ever. We love the happy emotions that come with kisses and giggles, but what can we do about those harder emotions that lead to screaming, kicking, and crying? That’s exactly what we’re talking about today. In this episode, I’m sharing one simple strategy that will help you reduce your kids’ tantrums and teach them better coping skills. Ready for more peace-filled Sunday afternoons? Or at least… more confidence that you’re doing everything you can to help your kid grow up to be a successful, emotionally intelligent adult? Let’s dive in. . Join our Facebook Group! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell Get the 5 Tools Every Busy Mom Needs to Move Her Family From Autopilot to Intimacy! www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/Tools Get the FULL show notes with episode highlights and resources at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/038 . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, visit this page on my website for helpful information.
Sep 10, 2021 · 30 min
Stop comparing yourself to other people! 5 strategies to help you crush comparison-itis, stop mom guilt in its tracks, and build more genuine friendships.
Episode 37 // Have you ever walked away from a conversation with someone feeling worse about yourself? Comparing your messy life to their seemingly great life? Comparison-itis is no fun, and it’s not helpful for our mom guilt! We’re tackling that today. We’re talking about why this happens to us and 5 action steps we can take to crush comparison-itis in its tracks. God has a good plan for you, my friend… and it’s going to look different from his good plan for everyone else! Ready to stop that mom guilt in its tracks? Let’s dive in. . . . Join our Facebook Group! www.facebook.com/groups/loveyourpeoplewell Find plenty of FREE resources on the website: www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/Podcast Get ALL the show notes at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/037 . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, this article on the website may be helpful for you.
Sep 8, 2021 · 8 min
You are invited to our brand new community!
Hey friends! In this quick bonus episode, you are officially invited into our brand new community. It’s totally free, and we are here to engage, encourage, and equip one another. Check out this quick episode to find out why you should join us - and then use the links below to do just that! . . Join our new Facebook Group! And hey… invite a friend! . . If you prefer Instagram... connect with me @loveyourpeoplewell And don't forget all the FREE RESOURCES you can find online at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/Resources!
Sep 7, 2021 · 30 min
Should you break up with social media? Here are 3 ways Facebook, Instagram, and the rest are impacting you - the good and the bad!
Episode 36 // I have a love-hate relationship with social media. But the reality is, every piece of technology can be used for good or for bad - from how we use a pen and paper to how we use our Facebook and Instagram. It is made to be addictive, but it is also made to help us build community and relationships. So how can we talk about loving our people well and ignore the big world of social media? That’s where we’re going today. I’m going to outline 3 ways that social media impacts us, and look at the possibilities for good and bad within each of those areas. Let’s dive in, friend! . . . Join our community in the free Facebook Group! Grab the 5 Tools Every Busy Mom Needs To Move Her Family From Autopilot to Intimacy You can find all the show notes & resource links at www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/036 I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, this article on the website may be helpful for you.
Sep 3, 2021 · 22 min
Do you want happy relationships? Let’s talk about the need for REALISTIC expectations of yourself and others.
Episode 35 // Our expectations shape our experience of life. What do you expect from your husband? Your job? What about your expectations of yourself, or of God? Unmet expectations creates disappointment, discouragement, and distance in our relationships. And one of the biggest reasons that our expectations wind up going unmet is that they are sometimes unrealistic in the first place! In my 10+ years as a counselor, I have seen the destructive power of unrealistic expectations in a marriage, with our children, and even in one’s own spiritual or emotional health. That’s why in today’s episode, we are looking at why our expectations matter and how to shift so that we have realistic expectations of ourselves and others. It’s important stuff, friend. Let’s dive in. . . Freebie >> 5 Tools Every Busy Mom Needs To Move Her Family From Autopilot to Intimacy Show Notes & Resources >> www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/035 Instagram >> @loveyourpeoplewell . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, this article on the website may be helpful for you.
Aug 31, 2021 · 18 min
How can we intentionally shape our family life? Psalm 1 in the Bible gives wisdom and biblical encouragement to the busy mom.
Episode 34 // Lately, as I’ve been memorizing Psalm 1, God has pointed me to big lessons for how I lead and shape my family life. Sometimes, life gets so busy that I get stuck on autopilot and forget to be intentional about these things! That happens to all of us. So join me today as we dive into Psalm 1 and look at 3 lessons we can learn about how to shape our family life intentionally. If we are not intentionally leaning into the Lord, we will much more easily get swept away from him by the tides of culture. Hit play, my friend, and let’s dive in. . . . Grab the free Holy Habits 45-Day Bible & Prayer Challenge. Find the full show notes and resources are www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/034 Connect with me on Instagram! @loveyourpeoplewell . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, this article on the website may be helpful for you.
Aug 27, 2021 · 28 min
Part 2: What is mental health counseling? How do I find a Christian counselor? Is a life coach a therapist? All your questions answered!
Episode 33 // Counseling can raise a lot of questions for us. Should Christians go to counseling? What is a life coach? Is therapy the same thing as counseling? Do I need counseling? How do I find a great therapist? We are tackling these questions in a two-part series with the goal of building your comfort and confidence in thinking about the counseling process. I am a licensed therapist and I’m excited to dive into these questions with you! Today is part 2 and we are looking at how to find a great counselor as well what to expect if you are starting counseling. Don’t forget to listen to part 1 where we discussed when to seek counseling and what different types of counselors are available. Let’s dive in, friend. . . If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or a serious safety issue, please contact your local emergency room for help immediately. In the USA, dial 9-1-1. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline number is 1-800-273-8255 or you can chat with them online at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. . Grab the show notes, freebies, and resources for this episode at www.loveyourpeoplewell.com/033 . . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling… this mini-series was for you! But if you prefer reading, this article on my website may be helpful for you.
Aug 24, 2021 · 26 min
Part 1: What is mental health counseling? How do I find a Christian counselor? Is a life coach a therapist? All your questions answered!
Episode 32 // Counseling can raise a lot of questions for us. Should Christians go to counseling? What is a life coach? Is therapy the same thing as counseling? Do I need counseling? How do I find a great therapist? We are tackling these questions in a two-part series with the goal of building your comfort and confidence in thinking about the counseling process. I am a licensed therapist and I’m excited to dive into these questions with you! Today is part 1 and we are looking at when counseling may be helpful for you, the different types of professionals available, and how Christians should think about counseling. In part 2, we will look at my recommendations for how to find a great counselor as well as discuss what to expect if you are starting counseling. Let’s dive in, friend. . . If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or a serious safety issue, please contact your local emergency room for help immediately. In the USA, dial 9-1-1. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline number is 1-800-273-8255 or you can chat with them online at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. . Grab the show notes, freebies, and resources for this episode at www.loveyourpeoplewell.com/032 . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling... this two-part series is exactly what you're looking for! But if you prefer to reading to listening, this article on my website may be helpful for you.
Aug 20, 2021 · 21 min
Keep your cool, mama! Here’s my quick 4-step process for handling frustration and impatience with my kids… no yelling, door slamming, or anger management necessary.
Episode 31 // We love our kids… but sometimes, they drive us crazy! That’s just real life. We all get frustrated, impatient, and angry at times. But we want to handle those emotions well. We want to avoid yelling and stay emotionally present (and calm) with our kiddos. That’s why I’m sharing my 4-step process for how I personally handle frustration with my kids. In fact, it’s the same process I use to handle my frustration with ANYONE! These are the simple action steps that help me be a more patient, attentive, and composed mom. And this same process has helped so many women who I’ve worked with as a family counselor. It’s not a magic wand, it’s not rocket science, but it is helpful. Pop in those earbuds, my friend, and let’s dive in. . . . Get all the show notes, freebies, and resources at www.loveyourpeoplewell.com/031 Grab your free Conflict Resolution Checklist. . . Don’t forget to subscribe to the show and leave a written review to help more women connect with this ministry! . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, this article on the website may be helpful for you.
Aug 17, 2021 · 22 min
Deepen your marriage in 5 minutes a day with this simple and fun activity … which is also foundational to a healthy relationship and happy marriage
Episode 30 // How well do you REALLY know your spouse? This question is central to your marriage. You simply cannot have a meaningful, healthy, lasting, joy-filled marriage without a deep knowledge of each other. But don’t worry - this doesn’t have to take a ton of time or energy! As a counselor, there is a simple activity that I do with every couple who walks through the door. And today, I’m sharing that activity with you. It’s simple. It’s quick. It’s fun. It’s easy. And it’s foundational to a healthy and happy marriage. (Don’t worry, we’ll look at how to use this activity with other important relationships too.) Ready, friend? Let’s dive in! . . . 5 Tools Every Busy Mom Needs To Move Her Family From Autopilot to Intimacy: The Relationship Reset FREE 5-Day Email Course! Get all the show notes and freebie links on the Love Your People Well website. www.LoveYourPeopleWell.com/030 Connect with me! DM me on Instagram @loveyourpeoplewell . . I am a licensed therapist, but this podcast is not therapy. If you’re thinking about counseling, this article on the website may be helpful for you.