LATE BLOOMERS

11: I WANT YOUR BRAIN: What ADHD and Autism Envy in Each Other

Usually on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox talk about what's hard about having an ADHD or autistic brain. This week they flip it: ten things each of them genuinely envies about the other's. Rox would give anything for Rich's ability to follow IKEA instructions, find the car in a Tesco car park and keep a perfect credit score. Rich envies Rox's endless ideas, her 400% excitement over a Crocs bag, and a delusion so strong it becomes reality, which is how they ended up with a body doubling app, bestselling books and a house five minutes from his daughter. It gets real too, as Rox admits that at almost 42 she's never felt like a functioning adult. Funny, sweet, and a reminder that the other brain in the house isn't just the problem. Sometimes it's the answer. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

10: THE CAREER GRAVEYARD: Every Job We’ve Ever F*cked Up

Are you working a job you love—or staying in one that’s slowly making you miserable? This week, Rich and Rox dig through their entire career histories: first jobs, bad bosses, promotions, burnout, quitting, career pivots, failed dreams and the strange ways neurodivergence shaped what work did and didn’t suit them. Rox talks about going from thriving in fast-paced service jobs to feeling completely out of her depth in a graduate accountancy role, before eventually leaving banking for music; Rich reflects on spending 20 years at Barclays, the managers who shaped him and what finally made him change direction. It’s really about career shame, starting again and the idea that job-hopping, quitting or getting it wrong doesn’t mean you’ve failed—you might just be collecting the pieces that eventually lead you somewhere that fits. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove CHAPTERS 00:00 The Career Graveyard 01:24 Rich’s first job at Sainsbury’s 03:52 Rox starts “Helping Hands” 06:06 Rox’s first proper job 09:27 Rich becomes a manager at 19 13:27 Why ADHD can make interviews easier than the actual job 14:49 “Something was missing in me” 16:06 “You need to go home” 18:59 Rox moves into banking 21:28 Mixing up BUY and SELL on a trading floor 22:32 Loop Earplugs 23:22 Rich’s life at Barclays during the credit crisis 25:22 The bosses you never forget 27:55 Rox starts writing songs 29:21 Leaving the bank for music 30:33 The record label collapses 33:30 Starting again in Amsterdam 34:31 The beginning of ADHD Love 35:13 What old jobs still teach you 37:47 “Every wrong turn was actually a right turn” 38:55 Why messy career paths are completely normal 39:45 Rich’s forgotten childhood dream 42:10 Final thoughts

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10: THE ENERGY CRISIS: Why Neurodivergent People Are Constantly Tired

Are you tired all the time, even when it feels like you haven’t done much? This week, Rich and Rox unpack ten everyday things that can drain their neurodivergent batteries: masking, disrupted sleep, sensory overload, basic self-care, hyperfocus, social hangovers and the effort of feeling everything so intensely. Rich reflects on the exhaustion of pretending all day at the bank and why losing his routine has made looking after himself harder; Rox explains why everyday tasks rarely feel automatic, her brain switches on the moment she wakes up and an exciting plan can become an exhausting commitment. It’s really about the effort other people don’t see, recognising when you’re running on empty and giving yourself permission to rest. Along the way, there’s a dispute over bedroom boundaries, an unexpectedly deep dive into golf balls and a shared decision that the next activity should probably be a nap. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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RED FLAG OR NEURODIVERGENT: 10 Dating Behaviours We Completely Misread

Your partner turns up late to a date. Red flag, or ADHD? They correct every tiny detail in your stories. Red flag, or autism? This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox play Red Flag or Neurodivergent, working through ten dating behaviours the internet loves to call toxic and asking what's really going on underneath. Most of it comes straight from their own relationship. Rox has forgotten their anniversary more than once (one year she apologised with a song on TikTok) and used to go eight hours without a text during songwriting sessions. Rich shuts down mid-argument, corrects her stories because "I don't need to be right, I just need it to be right", and admits he's disgustingly neutral when she's venting about someone who's upset her. They also get honest about a recent wobble where Rox felt Rich didn't fancy her anymore, and how one awkward conversation fixed it. The takeaway: neurodivergence explains a lot, but it doesn't excuse everything. A partner who listens, talks and adapts is the real green flag. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

9: THE GREAT ADULTING TEST: Are We Actually Functioning Adults?

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox sit the Great Adulting Test: 20 questions pulled from Reddit and the internet about what actually makes someone a functional adult, with producer Max keeping score. Rox lost her licence in her 20s for running red lights, thinks "important mail" means her skincare deliveries, and has 350 unread WhatsApp chats. Rich has never paid a bill late in his life but will not do small talk with strangers, full stop. Neither of them knows their bank balance within £100, and nobody can agree who actually booked the dentist. It's ADHD vs autism at its most petty, and one of them wins comfortably. Keep score at home and let us know in the comments. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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8: YOU ARE NOT YOUR WORST MISTAKE: 10 Beliefs Keeping You Trapped in Shame

Shame doesn’t say you did something bad. It says you are bad—and that belief can quietly ruin your whole life. This week, Rich and Rox confront ten things they’ve struggled to forgive themselves for, including addiction, debt, divorce, executive dysfunction, parenting mistakes and feeling like they’d wasted their lives. Rich shares the darkest consequences of his gambling addiction, while Rox opens up about the shame of being unable to manage basic tasks and believing she couldn’t trust herself. It’s raw, occasionally brutal and somehow still funny—because your worst mistake doesn’t have to become your entire identity. 20% off Loop Earplugs: ⁠https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove CHAPTERS 00:00 The difference between shame and guilt 01:38 “I can’t let anybody see how I live” 03:03 “What’s that smell?” 05:03 “My mistakes are unforgivable” 05:50 Rich’s gambling addiction 07:30 Why everyone needs a redemption story 08:13 “I’ve wasted my life” 11:02 “I’ve failed in relationships” 14:03 “I’m a terrible friend” 16:06 Loop Earplugs 17:08 “Why don’t I want to be touched?” 18:40 “I can’t trust myself” 21:27 Being an emotionally unavailable father 23:23 “I’m scared I’m a bad parent” 26:13 Shame about autistic sensitivities 27:41 Final thoughts

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8: UNMASKING AT HOME: 10 Signs You’re Still Performing for the People You Love

You might take the mask off after work—but are you actually taking it off at home? This week, Rich and Rox expose ten ways ADHD and autistic people can still perform around the people they trust most, from saying “I’m fine” and agreeing to plans you secretly dread to hiding sensory overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos. They talk fake facial expressions, panic-cleaning, apologising for moods that have nothing to do with you and why “I’ll do it later” often means something completely different. It turns out feeling safe enough to be honest can involve more awkward conversations—and fewer forced cuddles. 20% off Loop Earplugs: ⁠https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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7: ADHD & CREATIVITY: 10 Ways To Harness Your Neurodivergence For Good

The ADHD brain can generate approximately 900 brilliant ideas before breakfast. Finishing one of them is where things get complicated. This week, Rich and Rox share ten ways to harness ADHD creativity without losing the plot, abandoning the project or accidentally bankrupting yourself. They talk hyperfocus, impossible goals, “dopamine dollars,” building the team your brain is missing and why confidence comes after you start—not before. Rox also discovers she may have leaked the title of another album, which rather proves one of the points. 20% off Loop Earplugs: ⁠https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove CHAPTERS 00:00 ADHD and creativity 02:18 When lightning strikes, run towards it 06:07 Make the goal feel impossible 08:43 Don’t spend your dopamine dollars 10:35 Rox accidentally leaks another album 11:27 Keep your creative project shiny 13:17 Nobody starts confident 15:16 Loop Earplugs 16:22 Build the team your brain is missing 20:54 Don’t become your own bottleneck 23:29 Don’t make permanent decisions in temporary emotions 25:59 Market like you don’t have ADHD 29:45 Don’t bankrupt yourself 33:07 Final thoughts

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6: ARGUMENTS 101: 5 things ADHD & autistic couples desperately need to understand

For years, Rich and Rox told everyone they were "the couple that never argued." Not true anymore. They argue all the time now, they're just better at it. This week they're breaking down exactly how to argue well so it doesn't end in a break-up, using a real recent row of theirs as the case study, plus a few cringe lessons from watching The Ultimatum. If you're in a relationship, this is the episode you need. Rich and Rox talk through the five rules that stop an argument turning into a breakup: why screaming shuts down all communication, why you can't demand your partner love you the way you love them, why trying to "win" an argument means you've already lost, why calling out your own bullshit disarms a row faster than anything else, and the biggest one, learning to translate what your partner actually means instead of just what they're saying. They also redo one of their worst arguments live, so you can hear exactly what it should have sounded like the first time. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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5: THE ANTI SOCIAL CONTRACT: 20 New Rules For An ADHD & Autistic World

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are throwing out the social rulebook and writing their own. Twenty new rules for a world built for ADHD and autistic brains instead of against them — because eye contact shouldn't be mandatory, small talk shouldn't be the default, and nobody should have to lie about liking a haircut. From compulsory name badges (because nobody with ADHD can remember a name five seconds after hearing it) to abolishing dress codes, banning greetings cards, and introducing a visible social battery indicator so you never again have to mask through a conversation you don't have the capacity for. This episode covers the unspoken rules that make everyday socialising exhausting for neurodivergent people, and what a world built around executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, and direct communication could actually look like. Rich and Rox debate arrival windows instead of start times, why "how are you" should be legally binding, why last-minute plans should just be called plans, and why friendship should be measured by depth, not by how often you text back. If you're ADHD, autistic, AuDHD, or just someone who's ever felt like the current social contract wasn't written with your brain in mind, this is the episode where two neurodivergent adults finally say the quiet part out loud. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

3: ADHD IN DISGUISE: 10 “weird” things I didn’t realise were signs of ADHD

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox go through ten weirdly specific things that turned out to be ADHD in disguise. Bendy joints, dopamine dressing, owning 12 water bottles for no reason, and not being able to sleep with a ticking clock in the room. Rox breaks down why she can't tell she's hungry until she's shaking, why a slice of cheese counts as dinner, and why she's started roughly 100 businesses and finished none of them. Rich points out the parts Rox doesn't notice herself doing, including the inner monologue that occasionally becomes an outer monologue in public. If you've spent your whole life thinking you were just "a bit weird," this one might explain a lot. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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4: SURVIVING PERIMENOPAUSE: what happens when your ADHD brain can't keep up (With Dr Jolene Brighten)

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox sit down with Dr. Jolene Brighten to talk about something nobody's telling ADHD women — perimenopause doesn't wait until you're 50, and for a lot of you it's already started. They get into why ADHD women hit perimenopause about a decade earlier than everyone thinks, why doctors keep saying you're "too young" for what your body's already going through, and why you can end up with twice the symptoms and half the answers. Rox also opens up about a period last year that felt like a full breakdown, and what it took to actually find out why. Grab Dr. Brighten's new book, ADHD & Women: drbrighten.com/adhdandwomen More from Dr. Brighten: Website: www.drbrighten.com Instagram: instagram.com/drjolenebrighten TikTok: tiktok.com/@drjolenebrighten Threads: threads.net/@drjolenebrighten 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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2: THE MEMORY EPISODE: The ADHD, Autism & AuDHD Guide to Memory

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox break down the six types of memory — and why ADHD and autism hit almost every single one in opposite directions. ADHD struggles hardest with working memory and prospective memory, described as writing on a whiteboard while someone else actively wipes it. But it can come with genuinely excellent semantic and procedural memory, the kind that makes songwriting easier than cleaning the kitchen. Autism runs almost the reverse: strong working, prospective, semantic and episodic memory, but real struggles holding onto the emotion behind a memory, even the painful ones. They also get into why autistic memory relies entirely on a calm nervous system, and Rox's actual advice if you've got ADHD: assume you have no memory at all, and externalise everything. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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1: NEURODIVERGENT SURVIVAL GUIDE 10 Rules For Living In A Neurotypical World

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are laying down the ten commandments for surviving a world that wasn't built for your brain. No cards, no notes — Rox is running the whole manifesto from memory, which given the memory episode is a bold choice. Protect your energy like it's gold, master the art of strategic masking, stop apologising for existing, and stop trying to be neurotypical — you'll burn out whilst failing. Plus the coffee-in-bed morning routine they both refuse to let anyone derail, and why being the only "normal" one in your friend group is actually the first warning sign. If you're exhausted from pretending to be like them, this one's your permission slip to stop. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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THE EMPATHY PROBLEM: Why ADHD and Autistic People Often Misunderstand Each Other’s Empathy

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are asking the question nobody wants to answer honestly — who's actually more empathetic, ADHD or autism? Spoiler: everyone's had it backwards. They break down the three types of empathy nobody talks about, why Rich's empathy sometimes tips into full-blown overwhelm, and why the "autistic people don't feel empathy" myth needs to die. Rox also drops one of the most quietly devastating stories either of them has shared on the show. If you've ever wondered whether you're actually empathetic or just anxious and pretending, this one's for you. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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THE NEURODIVERGENT LOVE RULES: The Relationship Advice ADHD & Autistic Couples Actually Need

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are taking apart five pieces of relationship advice everyone treats as gospel — and explaining why they fall apart completely when one or both of you is neurodivergent. "If they wanted to, they would." "Never go to bed angry." "They should just know." Rox explains why her memory has nothing to do with how much she loves Rich, Rich makes the case for going to bed mid-argument, and the dishwasher gets stacked twice. There's also a birthday story that nearly ends in a domestic. If you've ever been told your relationship is doing it wrong, this one's for you. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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HOT TAKES: 10 things the neurodivergent community won't say out loud

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are doing something different. Ten neurodivergent hot takes, controversial questions, and genuinely unpopular opinions — and they're trying really hard not to get cancelled in the process. Is masking always bad? Is self-diagnosis valid? Is the autism spectrum too big? They go there. All of it. And they don't always agree. Fair warning — some of these will make you uncomfortable. That's kind of the point... 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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RSD SURVIVAL GUIDE: 10 tips to overcome rejection sensitivity dysphoria

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are getting into RSD — rejection sensitivity dysphoria. The thing that's been quietly ruining lives for decades and most people don't even know it has a name. If you've ever spiralled over a text that says "we need to chat," catastrophised before walking on stage, or spent years replaying every embarrassing moment you've ever had, this one's for you. Rich brings the therapy science, Rox brings the Reddit, and between them they've got 10 tips that actually help. It gets honest. It gets funny. And it might just explain a lot. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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CHOREGASM: Why ADHD is killing your sex life (and how to fix it)

Rich and Rox are going there this week. If your sex life has taken a hit since an ADHD diagnosis, or you've always wondered why intimacy feels so much harder than it should. This one is for you. They're breaking down the four big reasons ADHD kills your sex life: the shame spiral that starts with a messy bedroom, the brain that never switches off, the energy that's completely gone by the end of the day, and the resentment that quietly builds between partners. And then they're giving you the four fixes that actually work. No toxic positivity. No generic relationship advice. Just Rich and Rox being honest about what's gone wrong for them and what's actually helped. Fair warning — it gets real. But it ends in a good place. 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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AUTISM MYTHBUSTERS: 10 things everyone gets wrong about autism

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich has had enough of autism misconceptions, so Rich and Rox are going through the top ten myths one by one and busting them wide open. Rich didn't know what was coming. That's kind of the point. From "autistic people can't feel empathy" to "sensory issues are just being difficult" to the big one — is autism being overdiagnosed — this episode covers a lot of ground. Rich talks about what it actually feels like to have emotions on the inside that nobody can see on the outside, why flip flops are genuinely the enemy, and why the label "high functioning" needs to go in the bin. If you've ever had to explain your autism to someone who thinks they already know what it looks like, this one's for you. And remember if you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person... 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

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