If I Speak

Novara Media

Ash Sarkar and Moya Lothian-McLean sort the personal from the political, tackle listener dilemmas and air their opinions on the frustrations of modern life.

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127 episodes
Updated July 28
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Episodes127

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March 10 · 53 min
104: Why are young Brits flocking to Dubai?
Moya and Ash wonder what’s attracting young British ex-pats (and influencers) to cities like Dubai and Bali. Is emigration the new face of aspiration? Plus: a dilemma about being stuck in a dead-end job – or so it seems. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.
March 3 · 1 hr 8 min
103: Will getting back to nature heal my feelings of burnout?
Ash wants to cultivate a better relationship with nature, but Moya detects a deeper issue around burnout, and the lure of the countryside for busy city dwellers. Plus: advice for a listener who’s lost sexual interest in her partner. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.
February 24 · 57 min
102: I’m not ready for a relationship – but I don’t want him to see other people
CONTAINS WUTHERING HEIGHTS SPOILERS! What else would two literature lovers (and actual Brontë experts) be talking about this week but the film of the moment. Is Jacob Elordi too white? Is Margot Robbie too old? How much adaptation is too much? Plus: tough love for a special one in a situationship. Still got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Music by Matt Huxley.
February 17 · 58 min
101: Her toxic ex returned and now our friendship is ruined
It’s a dilemmas special! (Because the Special Ones have a lot of problems.) Ash and Moya answer your emails about: two student housemates who don’t really like each other, a friendship ruined by the return of a toxic ex, a depressed boyfriend who won’t get help, a good friend with a possibly evil job, and a romantic reunion that seems like a good idea… Plus: casting Hollywood stars as Greek gods and mortals. Still got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Music by Matt Huxley.
February 10 · 1 hr 6 min
100: We’re 100 episodes old – ask us anything!
We’re 100 episodes old! To celebrate, our audience of Special Ones ask us anything, from the personal to the political to the completely potty. What do Ash and Moya love and hate about each other? Whose greatest skill is cod psychology? And do they ever get anxious after sharing on the podcast? Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.
February 3 · 1 hr 3 min
99: How do you know when it’s time to quit?
Moya has been breaking the habit of a lifetime by choosing to stick with her choices rather than quit. She asks Ash how to trust your gut when it comes to leaving or staying, whether it’s a job, friendship or romance. Plus: would you use Chat GPT to name your baby? Next week it’s our 100th episode – so ask us anything! Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.
January 27 · 57 min
98: Are we obsessed with having our feelings validated?
Have we become reliant on having our feelings validated instead of taking valid criticism? Ash and Moya offer their own strategies for worrying less about what other people think. Plus: how to deal with an ex who’s found God and turned rightwing but is still hanging around. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
January 20 · 43 min
97: When will I start feeling like a grown-up?
Ash has a big theory about what makes someone into a proper adult – and it’s less about age or wisdom than the experiencing of caring for someone else. Plus: can you make a casual hook-up turn serious? Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
January 13 · 1 hr 15 min
96: Why are women choosing looks instead of books?
Sure, you look great – but can you spell pharaoh? Ash and Moya start the year with a tough conversation about the beauty regime that rules over us all. Has women’s freedom been undermined by a fixation on beauty? Are men experiencing 2000s-levels of body dysmorphia? Plus: advice for a listener who wants more intellectual conversations with her husband. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
January 6 · 1 hr 36 min
95: Does British culture need saving? w/ Lanre Bakare
Culture writer Lanre Bakare joins Ash and Moya in Manchester to talk about the precarious state of arts and nightlife around the UK, Black cultural identity outside of London, and the rise of ‘cultural deserts’ – as well as the unofficial launch of the ‘BAMÉ Army’. Plus: a dilemma about a difficult houseshare. Lanre’s book, We Were There, is out now. Recorded at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25 November 2025. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Dec 23, 2025 · 1 hr 28 min
94: Resentment, hostility, scarcity… is this modern dating? w/ Jordan Stephens
Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London on 16 December – apologies for the bass bleed from the other venue! New live show! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Tickets are available from crossedwires.live now. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Dec 16, 2025 · 59 min
93: I’m addicted to guilt. What’s wrong with me?
Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Dec 9, 2025 · 1 hr 8 min
92: Should we say something about women’s shrinking bodies?
NEW LIVE SHOW! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Presale tickets available at 11AM on 10th December – go to crossedwires.live and use the code CW26EARLY. After watching the Wicked sequel, Moya wonders if politeness is stopping us from seriously addressing women’s shrinking bodies and changing faces. Are we allowing extreme thinness to be normalised? Plus: can you mould your partner into someone better? CN: From 15:30, eating disorders. From 50:00, rape. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Dec 2, 2025 · 47 min
91: If there’s no ‘ethical consumption’, can just I buy what I want?
Last chance! We’re at EartH in East London on 16 December with guest Jordan Stephens – a handful of tickets are still available from Dice. Ash and Moya tackle a mystery question about ethical consumption with a conversation about the urge to beautify and shopping as a numbing mechanism. Plus: advice for a special one wondering why men won’t watch ethical porn. CN: The dilemma contains discussion of sexual violence at 35:00. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Nov 25, 2025 · 1 hr 13 min
90: Are rightwing politics affecting my sex life? w/ Dr Annabel Sowemimo
We’re in Manchester tonight (25 November) with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – final tickets available from Contact Theatre! Then EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – get tickets from Dice. This week Moya and Ash talk to Dr Annabel Sowemimo about STI stigma, period-tracking apps, being disconnected from our bodies, and how to afford a second child. Plus: which hospital department has the sexiest staff? Annabel’s book, Divided: Racism, Medicine and Why We Need to Decolonise Healthcare, is out now. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Nov 18, 2025 · 52 min
89: Am I doomed to get more conservative as I get older?
LAST CALL for our Manchester event on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre! Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – tickets are selling fast on Dice. This week a mystery question leads Ash and Moya into conversation about whether their politics are changing as they age – including their takes on Your Party, Zack’s Greens and why the UK left hasn’t produced a Zohran. Plus: how to escape a situationship. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Nov 11, 2025 · 1 hr 6 min
88: What are the ethics of oversharing?
Come and see us live! We’re in Manchester on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre. Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – actor, author and one half of Rizzle Kicks! Tickets are available from Dice. This week, after listening to the new album by Lily Allen – the patron saint of oversharing – Moya and Ash debate the pros and cons of spilling your guts in public. Do we owe a level of privacy to those that have wronged us? Plus: when was the best time to be a Roman? Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Nov 6, 2025 · 1 min
Live news! Come and see us at EartH in London on 16 December
A special announcement: Moya and Ash will host a festive edition of If I Speak on 16th December. Joining us at EartH in East London will be special guest Jordan Stephens – actor, writer, one half of Rizzle Kicks and the author of a bestselling memoir, Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs! Tickets are available now from Dice. Our north-west special ones can still grab tickets to If I Speak live at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25th November, where we’ll be talking to journalist Lanre Bakare about Black British culture beyond the capital, as explored in his book, We Were There: How Black culture, resistance and community shaped modern Britain. Tickets are available from Contact Theatre.
Nov 4, 2025 · 1 hr 10 min
87: I’m losing interest in my fiancée. Should she make more effort?
Come and see us live on 25th November in Manchester with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There! Tickets are available now from Contact Theatre. Inspired by a famous pop psychology quiz, Moya and Ash tackle a quiz about the culture that shaped them, from celebrity crushes to memorable quotes. Plus: advice for a young fiancé who’s losing interest in his partner. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Oct 28, 2025 · 1 hr 12 min
86: Why do we lap up other people’s horror stories?
We’re coming to Manchester! On 25th November we’ll be at Contact Theatre for a live show with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There. Tickets are available now from the Contact website! This week, Moya and Ash offer a thought for spooky season: why do love hearing other people’s horror stories? Plus: Moya spills on a dating disaster, and a dilemma about a mentoring relationship gone wrong. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.