Help Me Be Me

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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb

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Friday · 50 min
Ep 283: Attention is Your Superpower
Your attention is your superpower means that whatever you give attention to will grow. That is the simple takeaway I want to give you with this episode. The most powerful force in your life is your attention: what you focus on, what you grow with your focus, and what you move past with deliberate soothing very much dictates what the dominant trajectory is in your life. You can alter every situation with what you intend: it’s what creates outcomes in your relationships, and in the way you choose to view the world. This is an episode inspired by a training I recently attended about enhancing intuition and being able to channel yourself toward your highest self. What it boils down to is not being driven by fear and shadow: remembering to lead from the good and trust that you can act from this place and let the doubt go. Sending much love! Support this week’s sponsors: Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 14 · 44 min
Ep 282: Cutting Invisible Ties – a practice of freeing oneself
This episode is for creating emotional relief and soothing. I have tools for healing unhealthy loops, tools for giving yourself kindness and calm, and clearing your energy in the moment something old arises. I am pretty excited about this episode because it’s something I have been practicing myself frequently and I think it’s pretty magical. It’s about giving your brain external feedback to alter the hold of runhealthy energy. I think one thing that people often underestimate is visual feedback: how your space being clear and open translates directly to how calm you feel, for example. I have some visual practices that I will describe but if it helps you can also watch this on YouTube. Here is the podcast channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOWnmmRaDe-yI2A1IVUhUx0Zi1mKnH3gj Here’s the book I am reading and loving that inspired some of the tools: https://amzn.to/4xzCYmF Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 31 · 54 min
Ep 281: Calming Self + Generating Coherence
When we practice a solid routine of taking care of ourselves, we build a resource we can return to and rely on. It grows from the practice of calming the self when we would otherwise be reactive to the drama of the outside world. When we override the base level responses, we grow our locus of control. A quiet reserve, a core that is much like a friend. That center can hold space: it has a memory that you can trust yourself, that you have been here before, and yes, everything will be okay. You can float through the waves. We become our own resource. This is an episode about recalling a sense of trust, faith, calmness in the face of a familiar, old panic. That panic might arise from a trigger of powerlessness: a perspective of lack that might come from any number of things – loss of title, not getting a job, a number on a scale. These familiar old triggers initiate a mental scarcity narrative that generates unhealth: your body receives a message that you are not safe, that there is ongoing threat. So this is an episode with tools for calming in the face of that. Calming, non-attachment allows us to reset reality anew and live in a different future. A positive and possible one. Support this week’s sponsors: Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 17 · 51 min
Ep 280: Going Along With it Anyway– Growing out of karmic loops
When an issue recurs in your life and you attract a specific kind of person or conflict, some would label that as karmic. A loop can also be a pattern we fall into that draws energy and creative force away from us – something that doesn’t align with our goals in life. The loops that I am talking about in this episode are mostly relationship-based there are also tools around individual behaviors. I called this “going along with it anyway” because it’s really about that moment of override: when our bodies tell us that something is wrong and we still get pulled into a conflict that makes us lose track of our values. What I find is when I get into these situations, there is something origin-based being triggered: a need to please or appease or prove our validity. When we heal from these wounds, we can completely skip them and do not get pulled into a compromising negotiation. That book I keep talking about is: The game of life and how to play it. https://amzn.to/3T3qaWY Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 3 · 42 min
Ep 279: Wonderful Change – Intentional Energy
We affect a lot in our life path with our energy and our intentionality. You quite literally get back what you put out – like attracts like. This is about having faith and putting the right magnets into this world. Leading with love. One thought from one of the books I am reading is, “The subconscious is energy without direction.” Meaning, it just flows at whatever you think about, it doesn’t factor in the qualifiers you may mentally be wrapping around that concept. So if you are thinking about a future situation, thinking “I don’t want this thing,” your subconscious energy is really just channeling the thing. With that in mind, how can you be really clear and intentional about what you focus on and what you tell yourself with your actions and the contexts you place yourself? This has exercises for welcoming only goodness, love and success. I have a couple books I am reading right now that I love and they very much inspired this episode. If you’d like to check them out: https://amzn.to/4gjPW2G https://amzn.to/4v9YuNm Support our sponsors: Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 19 · 49 min
Ep 278: Creative and Sensitive: Healing Your Energy
If you’re a creative person, you are likely vulnerable to a lot of specific conditions: anxiety, boredom and also overly harsh self-analysis. Because you are right-brained, you are overly harsh on yourself and you imagine others judging you more harshly than they do. I have a few creative loved ones affected recently by the harshness of life (suffering on a soul level). Not saying it was all the fact that they are creative, but I do think it’s a big factor. If you’re creative, you are overly feeling– and also get bored by “the system” so it’s a double whammy. I am writing this with the hopes that it gets you into a better channel of thinking and using your creativity for positive change in your life. It has some tools for enhancing ego and intuition, and love for self. Sponsors: AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 5 · 1 hr 9 min
Ep 277: What Do I Love and Choose - A Mid-Year Check-in
This is an energy cleanser that will get you feeling hopeful about change. It includes how to stop rumination, how to change yourself, and how to make progress toward your goals especially if you get stuck in self-doubt. This is kind of like a mid-year self-review episode with journal exercises that reminds you to stay in the energy of love while taking stock of where you’re at on your goals. You can think of it as a set of positive reminders for how you choose to be, and coming home to a physical memory of love and optimism. Our energy is a daily maintenance practice that we need to be intentional about. Listening to this is kind of like a reminder for who you intend to be! Definitely check the tools on this episode if you feel stuck or like you’re in a negative mindset. Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 23 · 52 min
Ep 276: Enneagram + Fear: Overriding Defaults
This episode is about the underground engine that drives a lot of our choices, our reactions, and loops that keep us stuck. A lot of the things that block us are really overcompensations based in fear. They remain hidden from view because they are so engrained and we default to them because we are on autopilot due to stress. This is inspired by recent coaching I am doing, myself, around the enneagram! I am a fan of this framework, and I find it to be insightful. I highly recommend trying a test to see what your fear protection strategies might be. The main outcome of knowing your tendencies is being able to decide if you want to grow out of them. So many are different than we think they are/you may be mislabeling a lot of your current motives, now. Sending love! This is my enneagram coach’s site. Here's more info about the types. Sponsors: AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 8 · 57 min
Ep 275: Loss and Fear – Facing uncertainty as with a job loss
We often feel shattered when someone takes our identity away in some shape or form: a job, a relationship—a portrait of one’s self. This is an episode for anyone who lost a job or a relationship. An identity where you suddenly don’t know where to turn for grounding and solace. I am talking to a lot of people on the brink of an uncharted path. Right now industries are constricting, a lot of people are feeling scarce. I think this will also be relevant if you recently lost a relationship or any routine that kept you feeling a sense of self. Really dramatic change can be traumatic, but it can also forced growth. It can be really hard to not have a schedule: suddenly everything is yours to decide and validate. Without assignments and a role, it can be really hard to channel your energy: where do I even start? In this window of untethered life, my message to you is not to come from, “Who can I beg? Who would even take me?” which is fear/lack/scarcity. If you are in that state, know that what you need to do is give yourself love. And come home to all the power and greatness you are capable of. To get to that knowing – we need to tune our perspective. What we must return to is that energy of limitlessness, safety, spaciousness, empowerment. That place of “what do I truly love and care about – that is pure and unfettered within my soul?” That is a place that flows and creates value that no one else can replicate. We need to have that energy of agency: it’s having a feeling of safety within oneself. That is the emphasis in that sentence: within oneself. Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
April 24 · 56 min
Ep 274: Fear Loops and How to Move Through Them
I want to bring up possible areas in your life where you are being driven by an old pattern: where motives are unconscious and not totally visible to you. Often these loops are reinforced by childhood boundaries we set up for good reasons – things that helped create stability in life. Things like a need to control. A need to be needed. A need to feel safe. This is about seeing patterns in your life so you can be truly guided by your best interests versus the stuff you are unconsciously afraid of. A lot of things we tend to avoid are also things that can be positive for us. This has a few tools for channeling power, confidence, present-mindedness. What has your life path set up for you? It has led you to where you are today for good reason. If you identify as high-functioning, there’s a thing that tends to happen where you crash and have that moment where you ask: am I happy? Is this sustainable? That is the shadow side of a very healthy set of skills. That is what we are exploring together, today. Sending love! Sponsors: cheershealth.com/helpmebeme - get 20% off your order with code HELPMEBEME Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
April 9 · 50 min
Ep 273: Healing Loneliness - Allowing Universe Energy
Numbness, isolation, loneliness. The voice of fear takes many different shapes and forms, many of them don’t look like fear. The voice will reinforce a state of constriction and energy-saving: don't reach out, don't be vulnerable. To heal means being accessible to divine energy — to something greater than your current emotional state — requires asking for help and practicing openness. That is how we move out of loneliness instead of remaining locked in fear. And we also need to be in the places where that energy can actually reach us. It’s there all the time, all around us. The question is whether we can get into a position to receive it. If you’re chronically lonely the goal is to allow God in – or allow in the universal forces that expand you. Reaching openness means being accessible to change. We need to get out of the constricted state and enter the current. Plato had a concept of “ontos on” to describes "what really is," or, the really real: When something hits you as true, it’s associated with the permanent, timeless, and divine as opposed to fleeting physical existence. It’s a really important feeling for us to have: recognition of the really real. A moment when we are struck, when we recognize our human truths – when we are stirred. This is what we need to access in order for our lives to change, for positive change to be catalyzed. It doesn’t happen in a vacuum – we need to move outside of our tiny loop of fear and enter other spheres. That is what this episode is about. Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
March 27 · 57 min
Ep 272: What Healing Looks Like – Taking the You Out of It
When you really know innately that it’s not about you, you feel immediate relief in the face of any attack. It’s one thing to be in that place of confidence, legitimately. It’s another to want to be there but still be in a process of healing your emotional baggage. This episode is really about understanding what it looks and feels like to be healed. It’s aimed at giving yourself grace, relief, context for where you are and why. So that you can let go of a little bit of self-blame and also re-orient toward where it is you want to go. Healing and safety look different at different ages. We may need to boundary our lives very differently depending on the part of ourselves we are trying to grow. This is about growing out of ego and a habit of taking things personally. It’s a lifelong process that takes conscious attention. To not take things personally is the key to so much relief in life: It changes what you say, what you do, what matters. How long fights last, how much pain you endure. How much loneliness and HURT you endure. When we come home to a knowledge that “I am good, therefore, I need nothing in validation from others,” we can skip so much suffering and deflect what others put onto us. I hope that you can validate a new part of yourself today… Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
March 13 · 1 hr
Ep 271: What is my place in this world? Grounding in change
Do you have the luxury of focus? This is what I want to invite you to pause, foster and create. This is for grounding in the chaos of rapid change – for me that is in the face of tech. Right now there is an immediacy paralysis. “I have to do everything so I cannot do anything.” This is about how to get back to a sense of agency, focus, and the freedom to be creative. By creative I mean open, objective and flexible versus in a threat state. A lot of my episodes are born of a reaction in myself or something experienced by one of my clients– this is no different. It is a huge asset to be able to focus right now. To be effective and start somewhere grounded– is the goal. Sending love and I hope this helps! Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
February 27 · 36 min
Ep 270: Dealing with Overwhelm + Calming Self
A lot of people right now are feeling overwhelmed. Emotionally, and in a focus sense. This can make you feel like you cannot find internal refuge: that there’s no way to refresh a positive attitude because worries occupy too much space. Thankfully, we have neuroplasticity. We can teach ourselves out of worry and scarcity. It starts with awareness of the state we are in– and then an intention to calm. And come home to the present. From here we have the agency to change. This is for gracefully moving through a state of overwhelm. It is also about being a grownup: keeping the shine when life gets gnarly. There will be times when we feel overcome, but this too is a time to be great and reorient your POV. We are in a very transitional year – change is happening fast. Take heart, be gentle and loving with yourself. Be seen and connect to others in a loving, healing way. And smile. Sending love. To support our sponsors: Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
February 13 · 1 hr 5 min
Ep 269: Soothing the Pit of Anxiety: Working through catastrophizing
That state of obsession with a worry. The spins, as I call it—where your brain comes back again and again, telling long elaborate stories about a made-up, not good future. This is your body on worry: sick, tense, and a bit dead in that a part of you is not in the present. Regardless of the probability behind the fear you’re focused on, all of this is inside your head and therefore totally optional. None of it exists in reality. If this is you right now, I want to remind you that this can be an opportunity for growth –all friction creates material for momentum toward growth and change. Try to reframe this as such. This episode is a “talk down” for getting out of this loop of thinking and into a state of presence and creativity. Sending love! Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
January 30 · 46 min
Ep 268: Prompting Life - You are what you believe
This is about coming from intentionality versus the myopia of fear. It’s about the power of what we say to ourselves to expect. What we intend creates reality. The first thing I wanted to describe to you is the power of having a clear intention when you walk into any sphere – for example, your next conversation. Make your self-definition your north star as you enter that room. For example, saying to yourself, “My goal is to inspire with creativity, to connect in love, to come from wholeness, and to be funny.” Life is based on a prompt, in that thoughts are prompts: we choose what will be with the intent we have when we walk into any situation. This is about being aware of this and really examining areas where fear might be blocking love and truth. We get clouded energetically by fear and we shed parts of ourselves through our lifetime because we are afraid to care about something too much. Fear of loss causes us to abandon who we really are in small ways. So this is an episode that will hopefully reconnect you with parts of yourself through journaling. Sending love!! Sponsors: Wayfair.com to shop all things home MarleySpoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life armoire.style/HELPMEBEME to get up to 60% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
January 16 · 52 min
Ep 267: Negative Feedback Loops + Reviving Love
This episode will hopefully give you an epiphany! Negative feedback loops have a huge impact on intimate relationships. They are also a major factor in self-perception: perception of your life and what others mean to you. We base our opinions of our relationships on the signals we receive from them, which, in turn, create return signals. There are two selves we inhabit: the “whole self” and the “fear self”. These two selves make very different decisions and they act from very different places. The fear self will come from childhood powerlessness where the motive is always to grasp for control and “fix it.” This self operates from a fictional and dysfunctional belief that it is possible and also our job to fix things. The whole self comes from truth. That self knows where the boundary between self and other stands. The whole self can detach with love when necessary and also see when they need to be accountable and give more. The goal is to always act from the whole self and also give love unconditionally. This episode has tools to get to that wholeness and also restore the love that gets eroded by negative feedback loops – the ones that occur when both parties are reacting from fear and a misinterpretation of the other person’s cues. SENDING LOVE!!! Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
January 3 · 44 min
Ep 266: Riding the Wave of Self
At the end of the year, the beginning of the new year one can feel depleted or stuck. This is an episode with a lot of light, perspective-gaining tools to practice ease and spaciousness. It's for recognizing where you’re depleted, where you’re defensive or clingy, and also coming back home to a solid, positive mindset. This is for post-holiday crashing – something that happens to a lot of caregivers as well as sensitive and creative people. This is a reminder sort of episode: to ride that wave and float atop it as it passes, thinking of it more as a stage of rebirth. That feeling of depletion or even depression is a part of a transition. Often it’s a dip of energy needed to alert you to the need for rest and restoration. Enjoy this and sip some tea with a journal! Support this week’s sponsors: Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription Marley Spoon: Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 free meals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dec 19, 2025 · 46 min
Ep 265: Winter Creative Restoration
This is a super woo episode! It’s for all my creative friends and anyone who is feeling fearful and reactive in the state of uncertainty. If you’re a creative person and you feel stuck or stunted by fear, this is a grounding episode for clarity and building momentum. It’s a reflection episode in that I invite you to be more present and focus on where you can channel energy. In a nutshell, I am talking about what many refer to “divine feminine energy” – this is not about gender, but more an opposite energy that is essential to creativity: that state of “allowing” versus “muscling” and goal-setting. I personally have been out of balance lately in that I have been in the muscling, goal-setting “masculine” energy. I am inviting more balance into my life where I can be more in the welcoming and inspired – especially during this winter stage of life. If this sounds like something you need, this episode will hopefully bring you more calm and serenity. This is for creating balance in your life in your energy and in your future year. When I talk about masculine and feminine - I am talking about poles, like a yin-yang, not genders – so when you hear those terms you can refer to them as opposites that don’t really relate to cultural gender definitions. Regardless I send you love and wish you a happy holiday season! Xox The book I mentioned: https://amzn.to/3L4ntk5 Sponsors: Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dec 5, 2025 · 50 min
Ep 264: Visioning + Energy Clearing for the new year
A visioning practice as we close out the year. This is for making space for what is meant to come forth. This is for anyone wanting to process what is inside and position themselves for the year to come. I have lots of prompts in this one for reflecting and journaling. I also have lots of prompts for creating a vision board! A link to these prompts is linked below – in the case you want to just listen along and then do them in a journal and make a vision board later. I have been doing this myself because it’s easy to get so busy. We need a moment to checkin with where we’re at – what’s working, what needs tweaking. For me the ideal way to move through life is constantly course correcting, refining the recipe for your day, as you go. To be happy and fulfilled, we have to stop and take time to reflect on our life: what’s working and what we want to let go of. This ep is that opportunity!! Here’s Pam Grout’s book which I love: https://amzn.to/48BhwD5 Here are the prompts from this episode: https://yaywithme.squarespace.com/visioning-2025 Sponsors: Chewy: chewpanions.chewy.com/YAYWITHME to get $20 off your first order. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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