Grieve That Sh!t

Sharon Brubaker and Erica Honore

Grieve That Shit isn't here to comfort you with clichés or tidy slogans about "better places." This podcast digs straight into the wreckage of loss—the nights you can't breathe, the mornings you can't move, and the ache that takes over your whole body.

Hosted by grief specialist Sharon Brubaker, it's an unfiltered look at what grief actually does to you and how to face it head-on. Sharon brings her own story, real conversations, and practical tools that cut through the noise.

If you're done with people minimizing your pain and you want the truth about grief, this is it. Grieve That Shit is where the rawness lives—and where real healing begins.

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S12 · E102
October 2 · 17 min
The Grief of Losing a Child with Taneshia Part 2
Episode Description "What if grief was never supposed to fit into five neat stages?" In Part 2 of The Grief of Losing a Child, Sharon continues her conversation with Taneshia Carey, licensed professional counselor and certified grief counselor specialist. This time, they get into what we've gotten wrong about grief, why the five stages were never designed as a roadmap for grieving the death of someone you love, and why trying to make grief linear can leave people wondering why they're still struggling. They also talk about finding the right support, the things people say with good intentions that can hurt, comparing grief, and why sometimes grief hits years later when life finally becomes quiet enough for you to feel it. What You'll Learn in This Episode • Why grief does not happen in five neat, predictable stages • Why grief needs to be supported, not "fixed" • What to do when your therapist doesn't understand grief • What grieving people may actually need instead of advice • Why grief can hit hard months or even years later • Why comparing one person's grief to another doesn't help us heal • What needs to change about bereavement support in the workplace Questions to Sit With After Listening • Am I expecting my grief to follow a timeline? • Have I been judging myself for still grieving? • Do I have people who can sit beside my grief without trying to fix it? • Have I been comparing my grief to someone else's? • What kind of support do I actually need right now? Homework for You Ask yourself: "What would change if I stopped trying to grieve the 'right' way?" Write down the rules you've been carrying about grief. How long you think it should last. What you think you should be feeling. Where you think you should be by now. Then get curious about where those expectations came from. Grief is messy. It is individual. And you do not have to force your experience into somebody else's timeline. Resources + Next Steps • Listen to Part 1: The Grief of Losing a Child with Taneshia Carey • Learn more about Taneshia at holisticcounselingacademy.com • Connect with Holistic Counseling Academy • Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t • Join The Story Room • Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com
S12 · E101
October 2 · 24 min
The Grief of Losing a Child with Taneshia Part 1
Episode Description What happens when losing your child changes not only your life, but who you are? In Part 1 of this Grieve That Sh!t conversation, Sharon sits down with Taneshia Carey, whose grief journey began in 2013 when her firstborn son, Lhwhyh, died at eight years old after an asthma attack. Taneshia shares what it was like to suddenly become a grieving mother while still raising three young children, searching for support when she could barely find it, and eventually learning how to carry grief differently without leaving her son behind. What You'll Learn in This Episode • How grief can affect you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually • How losing a child can change your identity as a mother • Why fear of another loss can become part of your grief • What it looks like to parent surviving children while grieving yourself • Why lived experience and professional grief training are two very different things • How support can help when grief feels too heavy to carry alone • Why staying connected to your person can be part of living after loss • How saying their name, sharing their stories, photographs, music, and family traditions can keep that connection present Questions to Sit With After Listening • How has grief changed the way I see myself? • What fears showed up after my person died? • Who has been part of my support system? • What does staying connected to my person look like for me? • Am I allowing myself to grieve in my own way, or am I judging how my grief "should" look? Homework for You Ask yourself: "How do I want to stay connected to my person?" Maybe it's saying their name. Maybe it's telling their stories, looking at photographs, listening to their music, honoring important dates, or creating a tradition that keeps them part of your life. There is no one right way to do this. Taneshia shares how she continues to say Lhwhyh's name, share his story, honor special dates, and keep his memory present within their family. Choose one way you want to continue that connection and write it down. Resources + Next Steps • Continue to Part 2 of Sharon's conversation with Taneshia Carey • Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t • Join The Story Room • Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Your person died. Your relationship with them changed. But that does not mean your connection to them has to disappear.
S12 · E100
September 4 · 20 min
The Grief No One Sees
Episode Description "There is a whole part of grief that nobody sees." People know your person died. They may know the story, the date, and what happened. But they don't see the grief that follows you into the grocery store, your bedroom, your car, or the middle of the night. They don't see the empty chair, the phone call you almost make, or the moment you remember all over again that your person is gone. In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon talks about the grief no one sees. Because losing your person isn't only about missing them. You may also be grieving the future you expected, the safety you once felt, the decisions you used to make together, your identity, and even the person you were before they died. Sometimes all you know how to say is, "I miss them." But underneath those words may be an entire life you're grieving. What You'll Learn • What may be hiding underneath "I miss them" • How grief can change your identity, confidence, and sense of safety • Why moving forward can feel like leaving your person behind • How to begin naming the grief no one else sees Questions to Sit With • What are you grieving that nobody else sees? • What else did you lose when your person died? • What future are you grieving? • What parts of yourself changed after the loss? • What decisions feel harder without your person? • What are you afraid moving forward might mean? • Do you miss who you were when they were alive? • Who are you now? Homework for You Finish this sentence: "When I say I miss my person, what I'm also trying to say is…" Give yourself permission to name what's underneath the loss. Resources + Next Steps 🤍 YOUR PERSON DIED. NOW WHAT? 📅 Thursday, September 17 🕖 7 PM Eastern Time / 6 PM Central Time Join Sharon for a live conversation about what you're really grieving underneath the loss of your person. 👉 Register at griefdiscovery.com Your grief deserves to be seen.
S12 · E99
August 21 · 16 min
Why Waiting to Feel Better Is Keeping You Stuck | Part 3
Episode Description "What if feeling better isn't what comes first?" In Part 3 of this five-part Grieve That Sh!t series, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about something so many grievers find themselves doing: Waiting to feel better before they start living again. When I feel better, I'll go out. When I feel better, I'll travel. When I feel better, I'll clean out the room. When I feel better, I'll make plans. When I feel better, I'll start taking care of myself again. It makes sense. When you're already hurting, why would you willingly do something that might make you uncomfortable? But what if feeling better doesn't come first? What if some of the things you're waiting to feel ready for are actually part of how you begin to feel alive again? In this episode, Sharon talks about the trap of believing that you have to finish grieving before you're allowed to start living. Because grief doesn't hand you a certificate one morning that says you're done. Sometimes living starts before you feel ready. It might look like saying yes to dinner and crying in the parking lot first. Taking the trip and still feeling sad while you're there. Walking into the room you've been avoiding. Laughing with a friend and then feeling guilty because, for a moment, you were actually having a good time. Healing and living don't have to happen separately. You can still miss your person and begin participating in your life again. Sharon also explores why feeling good after loss can sometimes feel just as uncomfortable as feeling bad. You may start believing that your pain is proof of your love. That laughing means you've forgotten them. That enjoying yourself means you're moving on. That changing something means you're no longer loyal to the person you lost. But your love doesn't need that kind of evidence. You can miss them and laugh. You can love them and travel. You can wish they were here and still enjoy the people who are. You can grieve what you lost and still build something from what remains. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why waiting to "feel better" can keep you stuck Why you don't have to finish grieving before you start living How waiting for readiness can quietly become a way of life Why healing sometimes begins with doing something before you feel ready The difference between courage and feeling completely fearless Why good days, laughter, and joy can trigger guilt after loss How pain can become connected to loyalty and love Why enjoying your life does not mean you've forgotten your person How grief and living can exist at the same time Why one small step can matter more than waiting for the perfect feeling Questions to Sit With After Listening What am I waiting to feel better before I do? Am I waiting to feel ready, or am I waiting for certainty? What have I continued postponing because I'm grieving? Do I feel guilty when I laugh, have fun, or experience a good day? Have I started believing that my pain proves how much I love my person? What could living alongside my grief look like? Homework for You Sharon leaves you with one thing to look at: "What are you waiting to feel ready for?" Name it. Then ask yourself: "What would happen if I took one small step before I was completely ready?" Not the whole thing. Just one step. One dinner. One phone call. One class. One trip. One decision. One afternoon. You don't have to force yourself to be happy. You don't have to pretend the pain is gone. You're simply learning that your feelings don't have to approve every decision you make. Resources + Next Steps Listen to Part 1: Your Person Died. But That Is Not All You Are Grieving Listen to Part 2: Grief Is Making More Decisions Than You Think Continue listening to this five-part Grieve That Sh!t series Join The Story Room Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Because maybe you don't need to feel ready first. Maybe you just need to decide that you don't want to wait forever. ❤️
S12 · E98
August 21 · 20 min
Grief Is Making More Decisions Than You Think | Part 2
Episode Description "How much of your life is grief deciding right now?" In Part 2 of this Grieve That Sh!t series, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, takes the conversation one step further and asks a question most grievers have probably never considered: Is grief making your decisions for you? Because grief doesn't always look like crying. Sometimes grief looks like staying home. Saying no to invitations. Avoiding the restaurant you used to love together. Refusing to travel because your travel partner is gone. Keeping the house exactly the same. Staying busy taking care of everyone else so you never have to sit quietly with yourself. Or putting off decisions because making them alone feels impossible. In this episode, Sharon explores how choices that once helped us survive can quietly become the way we live. Maybe staying home protected you in the beginning. Maybe avoiding that restaurant kept you from falling apart. Maybe keeping their clothes exactly where they were felt like the only thing you could control. There is nothing wrong with surviving. But at some point, we have to ask: "Is this still protecting me, or is it controlling me?" Sharon talks about the ways grief can influence relationships, friendships, travel, dating, our homes, our confidence, and even simple everyday decisions. Because sometimes you aren't just choosing whether to replace the washing machine. You're confronting the fact that the person who used to help you make that decision is no longer here. Sometimes you aren't simply deciding whether to sell the house. You're wondering if leaving those four walls means leaving your memories behind. And sometimes you aren't saying no because you truly want to. Fear, guilt, and grief already answered for you. This episode is about recognizing where grief has quietly taken over and beginning to participate in your own life again. What You'll Learn in This Episode How grief can influence everyday decisions without you realizing it Why grief doesn't always look like sadness or crying How staying busy can become a way of avoiding grief Why decisions can suddenly feel overwhelming after losing your person How fear and guilt can keep you from relationships, travel, connection, and change The difference between something protecting you and something controlling you Why grief avoidance can slowly become a way of life How to begin trusting yourself to make decisions again Why moving forward does not erase the love you have for your person Questions to Sit With After Listening What have I stopped doing since my person died? What am I avoiding because it feels too painful? Are the choices I made to survive still helping me today? Where has fear or guilt been making decisions for me? If grief wasn't making the decisions, what would I choose? Homework for You Choose one decision in your life that you've been avoiding. It doesn't have to be huge. Then ask yourself: "If grief, guilt, and fear weren't making this decision, what would I choose?" You don't have to act on the answer today. Just let you answer. Because healing isn't about forgetting your person or suddenly changing your entire life. It's about learning that grief deserves a place at the table, but it doesn't get to make every decision for the rest of your life. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to Part 1: Your Person Died, But That's Not All You Lost 👉 Continue listening to this Grieve That Sh!t series 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Because your grief deserves attention. But so does the life you still have to live. ❤️
S12 · E97
August 21 · 23 min
Your Person Died, But That Is Not All You Are Grieving | Part 1
Episode Description "Your person died, but that is not all you are grieving." In Part 1 of this five-part Grieve That Sh!t series, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about the grief underneath the grief. Because when your person died, you didn't only lose them. You lost the life that existed because they were in it. Maybe you lost the future you thought you would have together. Your routines. Your sense of safety. Your role as a wife, husband, mother, father, daughter, or son. The person who knew your history without needing an explanation. And maybe you lost a version of yourself that you're still trying to find. Grief can change the smallest parts of everyday life. The groceries you buy. The side of the bed you sleep on. The way you spend a Sunday afternoon. The holidays you once loved. The person you call when something happens. Even walking into your own home can feel completely different. And then there's the future. The trips you were supposed to take. The conversations you thought you had years left to have. The graduations, weddings, grandchildren, holidays, traditions, and ordinary days you thought would still include them. That is grief too. In this episode, Sharon asks you to look beyond who you lost and begin naming what you lost when they died. Because everyone may see the death. But they don't always see the loss of identity, safety, confidence, dreams, purpose, relationships, routines, and the future you thought belonged to you. And sometimes, you don't see those losses yet either. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why losing your person is only one part of what you may be grieving How grief can include the loss of your future, identity, roles, routines, and dreams Why ordinary things like groceries, holidays, and quiet Sundays can suddenly hurt How losing someone can change your sense of safety and trust Why you can miss your person and also miss who you were when they were alive Why time alone does not teach you how to live a life you never planned for How naming the grief underneath your loss can help you understand why this has been so hard Questions to Sit With After Listening What else changed when my person died? What future did I believe I was going to have? What part of myself do I miss? What feels less safe now? What am I grieving that nobody else can see? Homework for You Sharon leaves you with one question: "Besides your person, what is one thing that you lost?" Not who did you lose. What did you lose? Your future? Your identity? Your confidence? Your safety? Your social circle? Your dreams? Your purpose? Your role? Your ability to trust yourself? Or maybe the version of you that existed before everything changed? Write down your answer. Tell the truth about it. Because "I'm grieving" can feel enormous. But when you begin naming what is actually underneath that grief, you finally have something you can begin working with. Resources + Next Steps Continue to Part 2: Grief Is Making More Decisions Than You Think Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t Join The Story Room Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Because your person died. That is true. But that doesn't mean every part of your life died with them.
S12 · E96
August 14 · 18 min
The Caregiver No One Sees with Joanna Part 2
Episode Description "You don't have to wait until someone dies to start grieving." In Part 2 of The Caregiver No One Sees on Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, continues her conversation with Joanna about a kind of grief that so many caregivers experience but rarely know how to name: grieving someone who is still here. Because for caregivers, grief often begins long before death. It can begin with a diagnosis. With the first forgotten conversation. With a personality change. With realizing the mother you knew is changing right in front of you. And then it happens again…and again…and again. Joanna opens up about grieving the future she imagined for her mother and her children, the heartbreak of watching their relationship change, and what it feels like to miss the person her mother used to be while still caring for the person who is here today. Sharon explains that grief is a normal and natural response to loss of any kind. We can grieve someone living or deceased. We can grieve complicated relationships. We can grieve our past. And we can absolutely grieve the future we thought we were going to have. With memory loss, those losses can come in pieces. A diagnosis. A lost ability. A changed personality. A relationship that no longer feels the same. Another piece. Another adjustment. Another grief. Sharon and Joanna also talk honestly about the guilt and pressure caregivers carry. Some days you have patience. Other days you've heard the same question thirteen times, you're exhausted, the kids need you, and you simply do not have anything left to give. That doesn't make you a bad caregiver. It makes you human. They also explore a loss many people never consider: what happens when caregiving ends. When your entire life has been built around medications, appointments, meals, schedules, and keeping another person safe, losing your loved one can also mean losing the role and routine that structured your entire life. And that is grief, too. But this conversation isn't only about what is disappearing. It's also about what is still here. The moments with the grandchildren. A quiet evening with your spouse. A cup of coffee alone. Yoga. Your favorite meal. A conversation that makes you feel seen. Small moments still count. And sometimes, those small moments are exactly what carry you through. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why caregivers can begin grieving long before their loved one dies What it means to grieve someone who is still physically here Why a diagnosis can create grief for both the present and the future How memory loss can create a series of ongoing losses Why caregivers may grieve different versions of the same person How to give yourself grace when you cannot be the "perfect" caregiver Why caregiving itself can become part of your identity and daily structure What secondary loss can look like after caregiving ends Why small moments of joy and self-care matter How sharing your experience can help you process what you're carrying What Sharon means by "grieving in real time" Why you should say what you need to say while your person is still here Questions to Sit With After Listening Am I grieving someone who is still here? What changes have I experienced that I never allowed myself to call a loss? Am I grieving the person they used to be—or the future I thought we would have together? What parts of myself have I put aside while caring for someone else? What small things still bring me comfort or make me feel like myself? Is there something I want to say to my person while I still have the opportunity? Homework for You Think of the person you are caring for. Now think of one thing you want them to know. Maybe it's: "I love you." "Thank you." "I remember when…" "I'm sorry." "You mattered to me." Or maybe it's a story you've never told them. Don't wait for the perfect moment. Say it. Even if they don't remember it tomorrow. Even if the conversation feels strange. Even if your relationship is complicated. Grieve in real time. Honor what has changed, but don't forget to honor what is still here. Connect With Joanna Joanna shares the honest reality of caregiving while also providing resources, education, and a space where other caregivers can feel seen without judgment. 👉 Find her on TikTok: The Sleepy Goddess She shares her own caregiving experiences, helpful resources, and live conversations with others in the caregiving community. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to Part 1 of The Caregiver No One Sees 👉 Follow Joanna on TikTok: The Sleepy Goddess 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because you don't have to wait until they're gone to acknowledge what you've already lost. You can love who is here. Miss who they were. Grieve what has changed. And treasure what remains. All at the same time.
S12 · E95
August 14 · 33 min
The Caregiver No One Sees with Joanna Part 1
Episode Description "Sometimes caregiving means loving someone through changes neither of you were prepared for." In Part 1 of The Caregiver No One Sees on Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Joanna—a wife, mom of two young children, former teacher, and primary caregiver for her mother, who is living with Alzheimer's. And this conversation gets real fast. Because caregiving is not just appointments, medications, paperwork, meals, and making sure everyone is safe. It is watching someone you love change. It is becoming responsible for the person who once took care of you. It is trying to raise your own children while also caring for a parent. And sometimes, it is being thrown right back into childhood while standing there as a full-grown adult. Sharon and Joanna talk openly about what it is like to care for mothers who were strong, independent, complicated women before memory loss entered the picture. They discuss the emotions nobody wants caregivers to admit out loud—the frustration, exhaustion, anger, guilt, resentment, fear, and love that can somehow exist at the exact same time. Because telling the truth about your relationship does not mean you did not love your person. It means you are being honest about what you are grieving. Joanna shares what caregiving actually looks like in her everyday life: raising two young children, managing her mother's medications and finances, helping with hygiene and household care, coordinating caregivers, and constantly trying to figure out what absolutely has to be done today…and what can wait until tomorrow. They also talk about one of the hardest parts of memory loss: understanding what is the disease, what is an old behavior pattern, and how to respond when the two begin to blur together. This episode is a conversation for the caregiver who is exhausted. The caregiver who feels guilty for being frustrated. The caregiver who loves their person deeply but sometimes does not know how much more they can carry. And the caregiver who desperately needs someone to say: You need care, too. Because if the caregiver goes down, everybody feels it. What You'll Learn in This Episode What caregiving for a parent with memory loss really looks like behind closed doors Why caring for a parent can bring childhood emotions and experiences back to the surface The importance of telling the truth about complicated parent-child relationships Why Alzheimer's and other forms of memory loss can cause confusion, paranoia, delusions, and confabulation How old behavior patterns and memory loss can become difficult to separate Why caregiver burnout can happen so quickly The importance of getting legal and financial affairs organized while your loved one can still participate Why caregivers need their own support system How therapy, support groups, movement, and community can help caregivers cope Why asking "What actually has to be done today?" can reduce overwhelm How siblings and family members can divide responsibilities instead of leaving one person to carry everything Questions to Sit With After Listening What parts of caregiving am I afraid to admit are hard? Am I expecting myself to do everything at once? What emotions from my own childhood are being brought back up in this season? Do I have people I can tell the truth to without being judged? What is something I keep telling myself has to be done today…that could actually wait? Homework for You Take out a piece of paper and make two columns. At the top of one, write: "What has to happen today?" At the top of the other, write: "What can wait?" Then be honest. Not everything is an emergency. Not everything has to be handled right now. And running yourself into the ground does not make you a better caregiver. Give yourself permission to put something down. Even if it is only until tomorrow. Connect With Joanna Joanna shares her own caregiving journey along with resources, education, and honest conversations for other caregivers navigating memory loss. 👉 Find her on TikTok: The Sleepy Goddess / Sleepy Goddess 414 She also hosts conversations with other caregivers and professionals and shares resources she discovers along the way. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com 👉 And make sure you come back for Part 2, where Sharon and Joanna go deeper into the grief of loving and grieving someone who is still here. Because caregiving is love. But love does not erase exhaustion. And you should not have to disappear while taking care of someone else.
S12 · E94
July 31 · 21 min
The Hidden Grief of Downsizing with Felicia
Episode Description "Sometimes the hardest goodbye isn't to a person. It's to the life you built." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with senior transition specialist Felicia Tausig for an eye-opening conversation about one of the most overlooked forms of grief: leaving the home you've built a lifetime of memories in. When we think about grief, we often think about death. But grief also shows up when life changes. When it's time to downsize. When a diagnosis changes the future. When a spouse is no longer there. When the family home no longer fits the next season of life. Together, Sharon and Felicia explore the emotional side of downsizing, why seniors often struggle to let go of possessions, and how every room, photograph, and keepsake tells a story worth honoring. They also discuss how adult children can better support their parents through these transitions, why patience matters, and how memories don't live inside our belongings. They live inside us. This episode is a powerful reminder that letting go of a house doesn't mean letting go of a life. Because home isn't just a place. It's the love, memories, and relationships you carry with you. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why downsizing can be a profound grieving experience The emotional attachment seniors have to their homes and belongings How adult children can support parents through major life transitions Why every keepsake tells a story Practical ways to honor memories without keeping every possession How grief shows up during retirement, aging, and changing seasons of life Why patience and compassion matter during transitions How creating new routines helps ease the emotional adjustment Questions to Sit With After Listening What memories am I holding onto through my possessions? How can I honor my past while embracing my next chapter? Am I giving myself or my loved one permission to grieve this transition? What does "home" truly mean to me? Homework for You Choose one meaningful item in your home. Take a photo of it. Write down the story behind it and why it matters to you. Then ask yourself: "Is it the object I'm holding onto... or the memory?" Because memories don't disappear when things do. They continue to live in the stories we tell and the people we share them with. About Our Guest Felicia Tausig is a Senior Housing & Planning Specialist and Realtor® with eXp Realty who specializes in helping seniors and their families navigate the emotional and practical side of downsizing, relocating, and planning for the next season of life. She understands that moving isn't just about selling a house, it's about honoring a lifetime of memories while creating space for what's next. If you or someone you love is beginning this journey, Felicia is a wonderful resource and would love to help. Connect with Felicia: 📞 Cell: (661) 510-5186 📧 Email: feliciasellsrealty@gmail.com 🌐 Website: https://feliciatausig.exprealty.com Looking for more helpful tips and resources for seniors and their families? 👉 Subscribe to Felicia's newsletter: https://visitor.constantcontact.com/manage/optin/ea?v=001jOmoGVekkpa28RnZh-ACfM-NKphqJXk9MCMNZ42bj7IfqJ15oqtbCOBlAb2ZMh6ep1-dqgKt8hr-d16Qhv0R557j6efrFGSg Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because every life transition deserves to be honored. And every ending can become the beginning of a new chapter.
S12 · E93
July 24 · 34 min
The Truth About Healing After Child Loss with Becky
Episode Description "Healing doesn't mean you stop loving them. It means love becomes louder than the pain." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Becky for a deeply honest conversation about losing her 23-year-old son, Ashton, and the complicated layers of grief that followed. Together, they explore not only the heartbreak of child loss, but also the hidden losses that often go unseen and unspoken. Becky shares what life looked like before grief, the overwhelming regret and "what ifs" that consumed her after her son's death, and how she believed she would spend the rest of her life trapped in unbearable pain. Through her journey, she discovered that grief doesn't have to define the rest of your story. Together, Sharon and Becky discuss the importance of grieving every loss, the healing that comes from processing grief instead of avoiding it, and how combining grief work with therapy gave Becky the tools to begin living again. They also explore parenting through grief, the role of community, survivor's guilt, regrets, and why healing doesn't erase love—it allows love to shine through once more. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief may change you forever. But it doesn't have to leave you stuck forever. Because healing doesn't ask you to let go of the person you love. It teaches you how to carry them with you as you continue to live. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief often includes hidden losses we don't recognize at first How regret and "what if" thinking can keep us feeling stuck The unique challenges of grieving a child Why grief work and therapy can complement one another The difference between surviving grief and truly healing How unprocessed grief affects every part of your life Why support groups, therapy, and grief education each serve different purposes How healing allows joyful memories to return without diminishing love Why investing in your healing benefits everyone around you Questions to Sit With After Listening What regrets have I been carrying that need compassion instead of punishment? Am I surviving my grief, or am I actively working through it? What hidden losses have I never given myself permission to grieve? What would healing make possible in my relationships and daily life? Homework for You Take a few quiet moments today and write down one regret you've been carrying. Then ask yourself: "What would I say to someone I love if they carried this same regret?" Offer yourself that same compassion. Healing begins when we stop punishing ourselves for being human. Because love was never meant to be measured by pain. It's meant to be carried forward. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join Processing the Pain of Grief 👉 Join Forever Changed 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because healing doesn't mean leaving your loved one behind. It means learning to carry their love with you, every step of the way.
S12 · E92
July 17 · 55 min
The Truth About Losing a Child with Joanna
Episode Description "You don't have to have all the answers to begin healing." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with therapist and grieving mother Joanna Martinez Dunn for an honest conversation about losing a child, navigating unimaginable grief, and finding hope after life's deepest heartbreak. After experiencing profound loss within her family in a matter of weeks, Joanna found herself facing overwhelming grief, unanswered questions, survivor's guilt, and the difficult journey of learning how to move forward one day at a time. Together, Sharon and Joanna explore the unique challenges of grieving a child, the relentless search for answers, the emotional and physical impact of grief, and why healing begins when we stop trying to explain what cannot always be understood. They also discuss parenting through grief, the role of faith and community, the importance of asking for help, and how honoring the people we love allows us to carry them forward with us. This episode is a powerful reminder that healing doesn't require having every answer. It simply asks you to keep showing up. Because healing doesn't happen by forgetting. It happens by learning how to carry love forward. What You'll Learn in This Episode The unique challenges of grieving the loss of a child Why survivor's guilt can feel so overwhelming How grief affects the mind, body, and nervous system The difference between surviving and truly healing Why unanswered questions don't have to stop your healing How faith and community can provide support through grief Why asking for help is one of the bravest things you can do The importance of speaking your loved one's name and honoring their memory How healing can eventually lead to purpose and hope Questions to Sit With After Listening What questions have I been carrying that may never have an answer? Am I allowing myself to experience my grief, or am I trying to outrun it? Who can I reach out to when my grief feels too heavy to carry alone? How can I honor the person I love while continuing to move forward? Homework for You Take a few quiet moments today and write down the name of the person you're grieving. Then write: One memory that makes you smile. One lesson they taught you. One way you can carry their love forward this week. Because love doesn't end when someone's life does. It continues in the way we choose to remember, honor, and live. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join Processing the Pain of Grief 👉 Join Forever Changed 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com If you or someone you know is in immediate emotional distress or thinking about self-harm, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis support service in your area. You don't have to face it alone. Because even in the deepest grief... There is still hope.
S12 · E91
July 10 · 22 min
The Biggest Mistake Grievers Make
Episode Description "You don't need more time. You need a plan." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, challenges one of the biggest lies grieving people have been told: "Just give it time." Time doesn't heal grief. It simply creates space. What you do with that space is what changes everything. Sharon explains why so many grievers stay stuck for years—not because they're broken, but because no one ever taught them how to grieve. We learn how to survive loss, but not how to process it. In this episode, Sharon shares the difference between surviving and healing, why grief needs structure instead of avoidance, and how unprocessed pain continues to affect your relationships, your body, your emotions, and your daily life. She also walks through the three phases of grief healing, the purpose behind The Grief School, and why grief isn't something you're meant to carry alone. Because grief changes your life. But it doesn't have to define the rest of it. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why time alone doesn't heal grief The difference between surviving and processing grief Why so many grievers feel stuck for years How grief affects the mind, body, and nervous system Why avoiding grief keeps the pain alive The three phases of grief healing What it means to move through grief with intention Why healing begins with structure, not just support Questions to Sit With After Listening Am I surviving my grief or actively healing it? What have I been waiting for time to fix? What parts of my grief have I been avoiding? What would change if I had a clear plan for my healing? Homework for You Take out a journal and answer this question: "What is my current plan for healing?" If your answer is simply "I'm waiting for time," ask yourself: "What if time isn't the plan?" Write down one action you can take this week to begin processing your grief instead of simply surviving it. Because healing begins with one intentional step. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join Processing the Pain of Grief 👉 Join Forever Changed 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because grief doesn't ask you to stay stuck. It asks you to begin. And you don't have to do it alone.
S12 · E90
July 3 · 53 min
What Grief Really Feels Like After Multiple Losses with Suzanne
Episode Description "Grief changes your life. Healing changes the way you live it." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Suzanne to share a deeply personal conversation about devastating loss, healing, and what happens when you finally begin doing the work grief has been asking of you. Suzanne has experienced the deaths of her parents, siblings, nephew, niece, partner, and many other significant losses throughout her life. Like so many grievers, she believed time would somehow make the pain easier. Instead, she found herself surviving behind walls she didn't even realize she had built. Everything changed when she began processing her grief one relationship at a time. Together, Sharon and Suzanne talk about brain fog, the overwhelming weight of loss, the pressure society places on grieving people, and why grief is never something you simply "get over." They also explore the unique pain of losing a parent, the loneliness that comes when your family is gone, and how grief work transformed not only Suzanne's healing, but also inspired her to become a Certified Grief Specialist so she could help others find hope. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief changes you. But healing changes you, too. Because grief may become part of your story. It does not have to become your identity. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why time alone doesn't heal grief What brain fog and grief overwhelm really feel like The hidden weight of carrying multiple losses Why unprocessed grief builds over time The unique grief of losing parents, siblings, and a life partner How grief work changes the way you experience future losses Why community is essential during healing The difference between surviving grief and living again How grief can inspire purpose and service to others Why healing is possible, no matter how long you've been grieving Questions to Sit With After Listening What parts of my grief have I been carrying alone? Have I mistaken surviving for healing? What walls have I built to protect myself? What would it look like to take one small step toward healing today? Homework for You Take a piece of paper and write down every significant loss you've experienced, not just the deaths. As you look at the list, ask yourself: "Which of these losses have I truly allowed myself to grieve?" You don't have to heal everything today. You only have to be willing to begin. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join Courage Club 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because grief changes your life. Healing changes what comes next.
S12 · E89
June 26 · 37 min
It's Okay to Be a Griever with Monette
"It's okay to be a griever." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Monette Hopkins, a graduate of Forever Changed and Processing the Pain of Grief, to share an honest conversation about what healing can look like after unimaginable loss. Monette has experienced the deaths of her husband, three children, and several other loved ones. When she first met Sharon, the weight of her grief was so overwhelming that she could barely speak in complete sentences. Today, she shares how grief work helped her find hope, peace, laughter, and the courage to keep living. Together, Sharon and Monette talk about the power of brain dumps, why healing takes time, the importance of boundaries, and how telling the truth about your grief can change everything. This episode is a beautiful reminder that healing doesn't mean forgetting the people you love. It means learning how to carry their love without carrying the unbearable weight of unprocessed grief. Because no matter how deep your pain feels... There is still hope. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why it's okay to be a griever How brain dumps help process overwhelming emotions Why grief healing looks different for everyone The importance of honesty during the healing process How boundaries support emotional healing Why laughter can exist alongside grief How community helps us heal What happens when you finally begin processing years of unresolved pain Questions to Sit With After Listening What have I been carrying that I've never put into words? Am I giving myself permission to grieve honestly? Who has been walking alongside me in my grief? What would it look like to tell the truth about my pain? Homework for You Take a journal and spend ten minutes doing a brain dump. Write whatever comes to mind without editing, judging, or organizing your thoughts. Then ask yourself: "What is my heart trying to tell me that my mind has been avoiding?" Because sometimes healing begins the moment we stop holding everything inside. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join Courage Club 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because your grief deserves to be heard. And you never have to walk through it alone.
S12 · E88
June 19 · 52 min
The Truth About Self-Worth and Grief with Dawna Daigneault
Episode Description "What if the problem was never that you weren't enough?" In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with licensed professional counselor, trauma specialist, speaker, and co-author Dawna Daigneault for a powerful conversation about self-worth, grief, and the stories we carry about ourselves. Because grief doesn't just break your heart. Sometimes it breaks the way you see yourself. After a significant loss, many grievers find themselves asking questions they never expected: Who am I now? Why do I feel invisible? Why do I feel abandoned? Why do I suddenly feel like I'm not enough? Dawna introduces the concept of birthright self-worth—the idea that your worth was never something you had to earn. It was yours from the moment you arrived in this world. Together, Sharon and Dawna explore how family systems, childhood experiences, trauma, grief, shame, and relationships shape the way we view ourselves. They discuss why so many people spend their lives chasing worth through achievement, productivity, appearance, or success, while never realizing the worth they were searching for was already there. This episode is a deep and healing conversation about what happens when grief uncovers old wounds, why loss often triggers questions about identity and value, and how learning to reconnect with your worth can change everything. Because sometimes grief isn't just about missing the person. Sometimes it's about rediscovering yourself. What You'll Learn in This Episode What "birthright self-worth" actually means Why worth is different from self-esteem and confidence How grief can trigger questions about identity and value The connection between childhood experiences and self-worth Why achievement, success, and productivity often become substitutes for worth How shame impacts the way we see ourselves The relationship between trauma and self-worth Why comparison keeps people stuck The difference between authentic worth and ego How healing begins when you reconnect with your value Questions to Sit With After Listening When did I first begin questioning my worth? What experiences taught me that I had to earn love, acceptance, or belonging? Do I tie my worth to achievement, productivity, appearance, or relationships? What parts of myself have I been trying to prove? What would change if I truly believed I was worthy simply because I exist? Homework for You Take a piece of paper and answer this question: "What makes me believe I am enough?" Then answer a second question: "Who taught me that I wasn't?" Write without judgment. Write without editing. Just tell the truth. Because sometimes healing begins when we stop trying to earn our worth and start remembering we already have it. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com 👉 Learn more about Dawna Daigneault and her work on self-worth Because grief may shake your world. But it does not get to decide your value. You were worthy before the loss. You are worthy during the grief. And you will still be worthy on the other side of it.
S12 · E87
June 12 · 20 min
The Grief Lies We Keep Believing
Episode Description "Time doesn't heal grief. It just passes." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, takes on some of the biggest grief myths we've all heard—and tells the truth about why they're keeping grievers stuck. "Just give it time." "Grief comes in waves." "You're never supposed to let go of the pain." "Grief is a roller coaster." We hear these phrases all the time. They're repeated at funerals, shared by friends, posted online, and passed from one griever to another. But are they actually helping? Or are they keeping people trapped in survival mode? In this powerful episode, Sharon breaks down the hidden messages behind common grief advice and explains why healing requires more than simply waiting for time to pass. She explores why so many grievers believe holding onto pain is the same as holding onto their person, why grief keeps showing up in waves, and what it really means to process loss instead of avoiding it. This episode is a reminder that grief is not something time fixes. It's something we learn to move through. Because healing doesn't happen by accident. It happens when we stop waiting and start doing the work. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why "just give it time" is some of the most misunderstood grief advice What time actually does—and doesn't do—for grief Why looking better is not the same as healing The truth about holding onto pain after loss Why many grievers fear letting go of their suffering What it means when grief comes in waves The difference between surviving grief and processing grief Why grief feels like a roller coaster—and how to step off How unprocessed grief continues to resurface Why healing requires action, not just time Questions to Sit With After Listening What am I waiting for time to fix? Am I healing my grief or simply learning how to hide it? What pain am I afraid to let go of? What emotions keep showing up over and over again? What would change if I stopped waiting and started processing? Homework for You Take out a piece of paper and answer this question: "What am I hoping time will do for me?" Write down every answer that comes up. Then ask yourself: "What if time isn't the thing that's supposed to heal this?" Because healing doesn't happen because enough days pass. Healing happens when you become willing to face the pain that's asking for your attention. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join Processing the Pain of Grief 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because time is not coming to save you. But that doesn't mean you're stuck. It means the power to heal has been inside you all along. And there is a way forward.
S12 · E87
June 5 · 22 min
The Grief You Didn't Know You Were Carrying with Elizabeth Part 2
Episode Description "Healing didn't just change her life. It changed her purpose." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker sits down again with Elizabeth Keene for Part 2 of their powerful conversation about grief, healing, and what happens when you finally stop surviving and start living. After doing her own grief work, Elizabeth experienced something she never expected. She didn't just heal. She found her calling. What started as a random TikTok scroll turned into a journey that transformed how she sees herself, other people, and the entire world. Now, after working through decades of unresolved grief, Elizabeth is becoming a certified grief specialist to help others navigate the pain she knows so well. Together, Sharon and Elizabeth dive into the reality that every person you meet is carrying a broken heart somewhere. They discuss why grief is not a life sentence, how emotional pain accumulates over time, and why so many people remain stuck in survival mode for years—or even decades. Elizabeth shares the moment she realized her own pain could become a pathway to helping others heal, the surprising connection between grief and trauma, and why doing grief work gave her something no amount of therapy, self-help, or distraction ever could: Peace. This episode is also a powerful conversation about purpose. Because sometimes the thing that breaks your heart becomes the very thing that teaches you how to help someone else heal theirs. And sometimes your greatest pain becomes your greatest gift. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why everyone is a griever The difference between carrying pain and processing it How grief accumulates throughout a lifetime Why grief is often connected to trauma and survival responses What happens when you stop avoiding emotional pain Why healing doesn't erase your story How grief work creates more peace, joy, and emotional freedom The role grief plays in purpose and personal growth Why people stay stuck in grief for decades How healing changes the way you show up for others Questions to Sit With After Listening What pain have I been carrying longer than I realize? Am I surviving my life or fully living it? What losses have shaped the person I am today? What would my life look like if I stopped carrying the emotional weight? Could my healing help someone else someday? Homework for You Write down this question: "What pain am I still carrying that no longer belongs in my backpack?" Then make a list. Don't judge it. Don't rank it. Don't minimize it. Just tell the truth. Because every unresolved hurt takes up space. And healing begins when you're willing to look at what you've been carrying. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because grief is not the end of your story. It's often the beginning of the chapter where you finally learn how to live again. And when you heal your own heart, you become a safer place for someone else's.
S12 · E86
June 5 · 22 min
The Grief You Didn't Know You Were Carrying with Elizabeth Part 1
Episode Description "What if the thing you've been carrying for years is actually grief?" In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with grief graduate and friend Elizabeth Keene to talk about a truth that changes everything: Not all grief comes from death. Sometimes grief comes from childhood wounds. Broken relationships. Disappointments. Rejection. Life experiences that never got processed. And years later, you're still carrying them around without realizing it. Elizabeth shares how she stumbled into Sharon's TikTok live completely by accident, asking a simple question about whether a romantic breakup could be considered grief. That question led her into grief work that uncovered more than twenty years of unresolved pain she didn't even know she was carrying. Together, Sharon and Elizabeth discuss the surprising ways grief shows up in everyday life, why so many people stay stuck in old pain, and what happens when you finally stop trying to "get over it" and learn how to process it instead. Elizabeth also shares the moment she experienced a physical release after doing grief work for the first time, how understanding the difference between thoughts and emotions changed everything, and why healing is possible even when you've spent decades believing it isn't. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief is bigger than death. And sometimes the healing you're searching for begins when you finally call it what it is. Grief. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief is about far more than death How unresolved life experiences continue affecting us for decades The 47+ different losses that can create grief Why people stay stuck even when they desperately want to move forward The difference between thoughts, stories, and emotions How grief work creates emotional and physical healing Why "just get over it" never works What happens when you finally process old pain How grief affects relationships, identity, and daily life Why healing doesn't erase your past—it changes your relationship with it Questions to Sit With After Listening What experiences from my past still carry emotional weight today? What pain have I been calling something else instead of grief? Have I been trying to think my way out of emotions? What losses have I never fully acknowledged? What would be possible if I finally put down the emotional weight I've been carrying? Homework for You Take out a notebook and create a timeline of your life. Start with your earliest memories and write down every event, relationship, disappointment, heartbreak, transition, or loss that affected you emotionally. Don't judge it. Don't minimize it. Just write it down. Then ask yourself: "What part of this might actually be grief?" Because healing often starts when we stop dismissing our experiences and start telling the truth about them. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because grief is not just about who died. It's about every experience that left a mark on your heart. And healing begins when you finally stop carrying it alone.
S12 · E85
May 29 · 19 min
The Grief Lesson Nobody Taught Us
Episode Description "Your kids are already grieving. The question is whether they know how." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, tackles one of the hardest parts of loss for parents: helping children grieve while you're grieving too. Because most parents believe their job is to protect their children from pain. But grief doesn't work that way. Children feel everything. They feel the tension. They feel the sadness. They feel the fear. They notice the silence. They notice the tears you hide. And when we avoid talking about grief, soften the truth, or pretend we're okay, they don't feel protected. They feel confused. In this powerful episode, Sharon explains why children do not need perfect answers. They need honest ones. They need to see what grief looks like. They need to learn that pain is something you move through, not something you avoid. Sharon shares why so many parents rush to fix, distract, or protect their children from grief, and how that often comes from their own fear of facing the pain. She also shares a deeply personal story about losing her favorite aunt at sixteen years old and how being left to figure grief out alone shaped her understanding of loss. This episode is a reminder that your children are watching. Not your words. Your grief. Because whether we realize it or not, we are teaching our children how to grieve every single day. And if we don't teach them? They'll end up where most of us did. Trying to figure it out alone. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why children experience grief differently than adults The truth about trying to protect kids from pain Why silence creates confusion during grief How children learn grief by watching the adults around them The difference between protecting your child and interrupting their grief Why honesty builds trust during loss Common mistakes parents make when talking about death How your own grief work helps your children heal Why children need presence more than perfect answers Questions to Sit With After Listening What emotions does my child's grief bring up in me? Am I protecting my child from pain... or protecting myself from watching it? What messages did I learn about grief growing up? How am I modeling grief for my children right now? What would change if I stopped pretending I was okay? Homework for You Take a piece of paper and write this question at the top: "What did I learn about grief growing up?" Then answer honestly. What did the adults around you teach you? Did they talk about grief? Did they hide it? Did they cry? Did they tell the truth? Because before we can teach our children how to grieve... We have to understand what we learned about grief ourselves. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because your child does not need a perfect parent. They need a grieving parent willing to tell the truth. And sometimes the greatest gift we can give our children is showing them that pain is not something to fear. It's something we learn to move through.
S12 · E84
May 22 · 19 min
Why Grief Feels So Out of Control
*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:fdf6c21b-5eed-4c55-a667-61b4c2eff342-6" data-turn-id-container= "request-WEB:fdf6c21b-5eed-4c55-a667-61b4c2eff342-6" data-testid= "conversation-turn-4" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn= "assistant"> Episode Description "What you thought grief was… it isn't." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down the real definition of grief and why so many grievers feel overwhelmed, exhausted, numb, angry, and emotionally out of control after loss. Because nobody taught us what grief actually is. We were taught how to survive it. Stay strong. Stay busy. Push it down. Keep going. Humans really decided emotional pain should be ignored until it starts leaking out sideways into every relationship. Strange little system. But grief is not just sadness. It is emotional, mental, physical, and deeply connected to the body. It affects your brain, nervous system, thoughts, emotions, and reactions. In this episode, Sharon talks about the brain fog, exhaustion, chest tightness, numbness, anger out of nowhere, and the feeling that your whole life split in half after loss. She also explains why grief itself is not the problem. The problem is resisting it, avoiding it, distracting yourself from it, and pretending it is not there. Because unprocessed grief does not disappear. It waits. It builds. And eventually it starts showing up in every part of your life. This episode is also a powerful teaching on what it actually means to process grief. Not just talking about it, but learning how to lean into the pain long enough for your body to move through it. Because your body already knows how to grieve. It was designed to. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief is more than sadness What a full-body grief experience looks like Why grief causes brain fog, exhaustion, and numbness The difference between surviving grief and processing grief Why avoiding grief keeps people stuck What it actually means to process grief How unprocessed grief starts showing up in daily life Questions to Sit With After Listening What was I taught grief should look like? What emotions have I been trying to avoid? Am I processing my grief… or surviving it? Where is grief showing up in my body right now? Homework for You Write this question at the top of a page: "What was I taught to do with grief?" Then answer honestly. Because most people were never taught how to process grief. They were taught how to hide it. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because healing starts when you stop resisting the pain and finally understand what grief is actually doing inside of you.

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