Gay Men Going Deeper

Michael DiIorio & Matt Landsiedel | Gay Men’s Brotherhood

Gay Men Going Deeper is a podcast about gay relationships, identity, sexuality, and personal growth for gay men navigating modern life.

Hosted by Matt Landsiedel and Michael DiIorio, the show dives into topics like dating, shame, masculinity, confidence, emotional intimacy, and the pressures of modern gay culture.

Expect raw conversations, psychological insight, and the kind of honest discussions that challenge assumptions and invite deeper reflection about what it means to live authentically as a gay man.

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293 episodes
Updated July 23
Explicit

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Episodes293

Newest first

Nov 14, 2024 · 51 min
Red Flags in Dating
In this episode, we’re talking about those warning signs and signals to look out for in potential partners and how to manage these warning signs with care and confidence. We’ll reveal our red flags, both in others and in ourselves, and how we respond to them when they show up in our dating lives. Some of the topics we cover in this episode are: Common red flags to look out for and why they matter Red flags we might bring into dating and how they affect relationships Strategies for d
Nov 7, 2024 · 43 min
Commitment and Connection in Open Relationships
Are open relationships really about avoiding commitment, or is there more to the story? In today’s episode, Michael is joined by Dr. Israel Martinez to unpack the common misconceptions around consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and explore how commitment and connection can flourish in open relationships. We’ll be discussing: Common misconceptions about CNM and monogamy How to determine your ideal relationship style What is a relationship anchor and how to find it The role of trust, com
Oct 31, 2024 · 41 min
Developing Emotional Resilience
In today’s episode, we’re going deeper into the topic of resilience—what it really means and how we can develop it, especially as gay men and our unique challenges. We’ll explore how the struggles we face, from feeling out of place to dealing with minority stress, can become powerful tools for personal growth. Resilience isn’t just about pushing through; it’s about learning, adapting, and thriving in the face of adversity. Some of the topics we’re discussing today include: The difference
Oct 24, 2024 · 53 min
Navigating Depression
In this episode, Matt and Reno come together for their first duo episode to talk about their experiences with depression. They share openly about what causes depression in their lives and what they have done to deal with it. If you are someone who struggles with depression, we want you to know you are not alone. It is so important to normalize conversations about aspects of mental health that are still stigmatized. We hope this episode leaves you feeling seen, and offers you some ways to support
Oct 17, 2024 · 45 min
I Don’t Belong in the Gay Community
Have you ever felt like you just don’t belong in the gay community? In today’s episode, we’re tackling the deep and painful feeling of not fitting in—a sentiment shared by many gay men. Some of the topics we’re exploring today are: How do we feel excluded vs. how do we feel included? Belonging vs. fitting in Vulnerability Judging others and ourselves Core wounding and attachment trauma Fear of rejection Fostering more inclusive spaces If you’ve ever felt like an outsi
Oct 10, 2024 · 31 min
I Wish I Wasn’t Gay
In honour of National Coming Out Day, we’re diving deep into a sentiment many gay men have struggled with at some point: "I wish I wasn’t gay." While this feeling may seem contradictory on a day meant to celebrate coming out, it’s a reality for many who grapple with their sexual orientation and the journey to self-acceptance. In this episode, we unpack the challenges of embracing your authentic self, including: How we came to accept our sexuality Would we change our sexuality if we cou
Oct 3, 2024 · 1 hr 2 min
Mindset Work VS. Body Work
In this episode, we welcome Somatic Intimacy Coach, Vance Hedman, for an insightful discussion on the importance of both mindset work and somatic body work when dealing with emotional pain and discomfort. We delve into how each approach can be uniquely beneficial in different scenarios, particularly when it comes to intimacy, building friendships, and deepening relationships. Some of the concepts we cover today are: How mindset work and body work are different and how they are similar How
Sep 26, 2024 · 43 min
Dealing with Your Inner Critic
In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we dive into the complexities of the inner critic—the voice in our heads that often feeds perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt. While it can feel like a harsh and relentless judge, the inner critic is actually trying to protect you in its own way. We explore how to better understand this part of ourselves, offering strategies for befriending the inner critic and cultivating a mindset of self-compassion. Some of the topics covered today are: How the
Sep 19, 2024 · 42 min
Compare and Despair
Today we’re tackling the universal struggle of comparing ourselves to others. Whether it’s about body image, social status, or relationships, comparison can have a negative impact on our mental health, leading to a cycle of insecurity and self-doubt. In this episode, we’re looking at how to break the cycle and actually re-frame it for your personal development. Join us as we dive into how to compare consciously and mindfully, transforming it into a tool that actually serves you instead of tea
Sep 12, 2024 · 40 min
How to Make Friends with Gay Men
In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we explore the complex nature of making friends within the gay community. There’s a fine line between sexual or romantic connections and platonic friendships, and those lines can blur quite easily. Some of the topics we’ll cover include: Blurred lines between friends and friends with benefits Advice and tips on platonic friendships How to expand your friendship circle Keeping an open mind when meeting people Having honest conversations
Sep 5, 2024 · 50 min
Social Anxiety in Groups of Gay Men
In this episode, we are talking about the unique challenges and pressures that we face in social settings within our own community. The Gay Men’s Brotherhood is dedicated to helping gay men connect and build more authentic and meaningful relationships, but this is particularly challenging for those who feel anxious in groups of gay men. We'll share our personal experiences and the coping strategies we've developed to manage and overcome social anxiety. Topics discussed today are: Types
Aug 29, 2024 · 59 min
The Challenges of Being a Gay Man
In this insightful episode, we turn our focus to the often unspoken challenges that come with being a gay man. The reality for many queer folks is that our lives are met with unique hurdles that impact our mental, emotional, and social well-being. Through candid discussions and personal experiences, we are looking at these challenges from the gay male perspective. Some of the topics we’ll be covering are: Learning to hide who you are Social discrimination External and internalized
Aug 22, 2024 · 56 min
Attachment Styles in Dating
In this episode, Matt speaks with Counsellor Ken Reid about attachment styles in dating and relationships. Together they unpack how attachment styles can impact whether or not we choose to be in monogamous or non monogamous relationships. They explore the impact of trauma on the development of insecure attachment styles, and what we can do to heal if we find ourselves anxious or avoidant in our relationships. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What is an attachmen
Aug 15, 2024 · 59 min
What We Love About Being Gay
Join us for a very special milestone as "Gay Men Going Deeper" celebrates our 200th episode! In this celebratory episode, we're raising our voices and our spirits high as we discuss what it truly means to embrace our gayness. From the early days of fear and isolation to the empowering present, we're sharing why we love being gay and how we got here. We’re sharing personal anecdotes and heartfelt reflections that highlight the evolution of our relationship with our gayness. Some of the topics
Aug 8, 2024 · 59 min
Spirituality, Somatics, and Sexual Healing With JoJo Bear
From coming out in high school in Brooklyn in the 80’’s, to moving to California, to leaving college and moving into hypnotherapy, and finally landing in the world of embodiment and somatics sexual therapy, and becoming a facilitator at The Body Electric School; JoJo’s resume reads more like a permission slip. The theme of todays episode is very much that: permission. Permission to be sexual, permission to be messy, permission to be shameless, and permission to be you, and permission to be you.
Aug 1, 2024 · 57 min
Gaydar
How can you tell if someone is gay? It’s an age-old mystery that often turns into a discussion about “gaydar” – the ability to perceive or intuit someone's sexual orientation. In this episode, we are unraveling the intricacies of this phenomenon in how we navigate the subtle cues and signals that hint at our ‘gayness’. Some of the topics we’re covering today are: The science behind gaydar Criteria we use to detect someone’s sexual orientation Unconscious bias Code switching (a
Jul 25, 2024 · 1 hr 7 min
Life, Death, Creative Living, and Queerness
Living a life guided and powered by creativity and “Spirit” is a liberating journey, not for the faint of heart. It leads us into freedom and liberation, but not before inviting us to reconcile with some of our most significant attachments and greatest fears. Today, we are joined by heARTist, creator, activist, poet, author, and shaman, Keone Wales, in a dynamic conversation around inspiration, death, queerness, creativity and more. You might call this a unique conversation in that it unfolds
Jul 18, 2024 · 50 min
Courting
In a world where swiping on apps and instant gratification dominates, is there still room for the timeless art of courtship? Join us on this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper as we explore the concept of courtship in the digital age. Some of the topics we’re covering in this episode include: How traditional courting differs from modern dating How old school practices can still be relevant in the digital age Navigating the complexities of dating apps The lost art of building intimacy
Jul 11, 2024 · 42 min
Sexual Abuse
In this powerful episode, we address a topic that affects many but is often shrouded in silence and stigma: sexual abuse. Joining us for this important conversation is Michael Pezzullo, a seasoned therapist who works with trauma and sexual abuse recovery. Together, we explore the impact that sexual abuse can have on one's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Some of the topics covered in this episode are: Ways in which abuse can occur in childhood and/or adulthood Setting and m
Jul 4, 2024 · 57 min
First Dates
First dates can be exhilarating, nerve-wracking, and everything in between. But fear not! On this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're here to guide you through having a successful first date. Join us as we share expert tips, personal stories, and practical advice for making a lasting impression and setting the stage for a potential connection. Some of the topics we’re covering in this episode: What exactly makes a first date ‘successful’ What to talk about on a first date Techniq