Gay Men Going Deeper

Michael DiIorio & Matt Landsiedel | Gay Men’s Brotherhood

Gay Men Going Deeper is a podcast about gay relationships, identity, sexuality, and personal growth for gay men navigating modern life.

Hosted by Matt Landsiedel and Michael DiIorio, the show dives into topics like dating, shame, masculinity, confidence, emotional intimacy, and the pressures of modern gay culture.

Expect raw conversations, psychological insight, and the kind of honest discussions that challenge assumptions and invite deeper reflection about what it means to live authentically as a gay man.

Subscribe Listen in podnod RSS feed Show website

293 episodes
Updated July 23
Explicit

Support the show

"Support the show!"

Goes straight to the publisher. podnod takes nothing.

Episodes293

Newest first

January 8 · 28 min
Standards vs. Boundaries in Dating
In this episode, we’re breaking down one of the biggest dating myths gay men love to repeat: “My standards are too high.” But sometimes the problem isn’t what you want, it’s what you allow. We get into the real difference between standards and boundaries, why attraction wipes our memory clean, and how low boundaries quietly reveal your level of self-worth. If you’ve ever said you want emotional maturity but keep entertaining sexy chaos, this episode is going to sting a little (in a good way).
January 1 · 51 min
Single and Ready to Mingle
In this episode, Michael and Matt get personal about what we love about being single, how we knew we were ready to start dating again, and what we want to experience differently this time around. We talk about flirting on apps, dating in 2026, and all the messy, exciting parts of putting yourself back out there when you’re ready to mingle. Some of the topics we cover in this episode are: • Getting back into the dating world • When your nervous system tries to hijack your dating life • Red fl
Dec 25, 2025 · 24 min
When Attraction Fades
Why does attraction fade… and what can we do about it? In this episode we get real about attraction in long-term relationships. The spark doesn’t always burn forever, and losing sexual interest doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. We talk about why attraction naturally shifts over time and how couples can ignite intimacy. We explore: Why attraction fades in relationships The 4 types of intimacy (and why they matter) Sexless marriages and normalizing libido changes What erode
Dec 18, 2025 · 40 min
What’s Really Sexy (and Nobody Talks About It)
After unpacking our culture’s obsession with “perfect” bodies, this week we’re flipping the script. In this episode, we’re celebrating what’s actually hot: the things that don’t get enough love in the gay world. We’re talking dad bods, wrinkles, kindness, confidence, awkward charm, conversational skills, and all the real stuff that makes someone magnetic. Some of the things we’re talking about: How social media perpetuates social norms that don’t fit The traits we find sexy that don’
Dec 11, 2025 · 44 min
How to Thrive in the Culture of Body Perfection
From the gym to social media, gay men are constantly surrounded by images of the “ideal” body. But what does all this perfection chasing actually cost us? In this episode, we explore how body perfection culture impacts gay men on a deeper level: from belonging and self-worth to intimacy and identity. We open up about our own journeys with body image— how we’ve moved from obsession to acceptance, where it still sneaks in today, and what we’ve learned along the way. You’ll hear us unpack:
Dec 4, 2025 · 29 min
Radical Honesty: Letting Yourself Be Known
In this episode, we dive into what radical honesty really means- not the brutally blunt “telling it like it is” version, but the deeper, more vulnerable kind that lets you actually be known. We explore why being honest is both terrifying and liberating, the subtle ways we still avoid it, and how honesty differs from harsh truth-telling. We share our own struggles with showing up honestly in dating, friendships, and community, and why the outcome isn’t always pretty… but is always worth it.
Nov 27, 2025 · 25 min
Twinks, Jocks, and Bears, Oh My! The Obsession with Gay Labels
Today we’re diving into one of the most iconic (and hilarious) parts of gay culture: labels. In this episode, we unpack why gay men are so obsessed with categories like “twink,” “daddy,” “masc,” “otter,” “guy next door,” and every micro-label in between… and how these identities shape the way we date, belong, and see ourselves. We explore: Why labels can feel empowering (and sometimes limiting) How they create tribe, shorthand, and community When they become boxes we get stuck in How attraction
Nov 20, 2025 · 47 min
The Slow Fade: When We Ghost Without Ghosting
Today we’re talking about The Slow Fade: that slow, quiet drifting apart where the messages get shorter, the replies slower, and the energy shifts until one day…it’s just silence. In this episode, we’re unpacking: Why we quietly quit people instead of having real conversations What’s actually happening beneath the surface for both sides — the Fader and the Fadee Who deserves an explanation and who doesn’t What can we do instead of fading away If you’ve ever been on either side of The Slow F
Nov 13, 2025 · 48 min
Nesting: Creating Platonic Spaces for Healing and Authentic Connection in the Gay Community
What we want you to gain from this episode is the importance of non-sexualized, safe, and brave spaces for gay men to heal and grow together. By the end of this episode, you will be able to identify what a nest is, how you could benefit from one, and where to find or create one if you are interested in nesting. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What is “nesting” and why is it important for gay men? What moments in our lives require the need for nesting? How
Nov 6, 2025 · 45 min
How to Open Your Heart to Receive Love
We all say we want love… but are we actually open to receiving it? In this episode, we’re going deeper into what it really means to open your heart. From the subtle subconscious programming that keeps love at arm’s length to the sneaky ways we self-sabotage, we’re unpacking the hidden barriers that make intimacy feel unsafe (even when we crave it most). You’ll learn: Why receiving love can feel harder than giving it How old conditioning teaches us to block love without realizing it
Oct 30, 2025 · 44 min
Falling in Love With The Fantasy
Some of us don’t fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally makes everything click. But that idealized version of love often keeps us chasing what looks right instead of what feels real. In this episode, Michael DiIorio and therapist, Michael Pezzullo, explore how fantasy, perfectionism, and external validation shape the way we love- and why chasing the ideal often keeps us from the real thing.
Oct 23, 2025 · 40 min
Joy Killers: How and Why We Sabotage Joy
Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well. We explore: The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present. How trauma and disappointment condition us to expect loss The role of protector parts and self-sabotage in keeping joy at arm’s lengt
Oct 16, 2025 · 28 min
Following Your Joy: A Special Solo Episode with Reno
What would your day, your week, your next year, or even your life look like if you spent it following your joy? What if joy became your North Star? Your guiding light? Your compass? What is in the way of you experiencing more joy in your life? What if you could find joy in how you dress, what you eat, how you exercise, where you live, what you do for work, who you spend time with, and how you navigate your day to day life? These, and more, are the questions we’ll cover in this intuiti
Oct 9, 2025 · 47 min
How to Find More Joy in Your Life
Joy isn’t just fireworks and big milestones; it’s in the ordinary, everyday moments we often overlook. Yet for many of us, joy feels slippery and hard to find. In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re diving into what joy really feels like, how it shifts as we evolve and age, and why it’s less about chasing highs and more about cultivating presence. We’ll explore: The difference between joy and pleasure (and why we confuse them) Joy-givers vs. joy-suckers (and how to spot you
Oct 2, 2025 · 1 hr 5 min
Perfectionism, Pressure, and the Gay Overachiever
You know the type — ambitious, perfectionistic, and always striving to do more and be more… yet secretly fuelled by pressure, anxiety, and fear. In this episode, Michael is joined by special guest Scott Stirrett as they share their own stories of hustling for achievement and how they’ve learned to stay ambitious without destroying themselves in the process. Together, they unpack how perfectionism, internalized shame, and the need for external validation can be ways we attempt to outrun our
Sep 25, 2025 · 34 min
Radical Acceptance: Grief’s Final Lesson
In this final installment of our 4-part series on grief, we explore the powerful practice of Radical Acceptance—what it means, why it’s so difficult, and how it becomes the turning point in your healing journey. Whether you're grieving the person you used to be, mourning a friendship that faded, or facing the slow heartbreak of watching your parents age, grief often leaves us wrestling with reality. Radical acceptance is what allows us to stop fighting what is, and start living again with pea
Sep 18, 2025 · 46 min
Aging Parents and Pre-Grief
As our parents get older, many of us are faced with a new kind of grief- the quiet, ongoing loss that comes not from death, but from watching the people who once raised us begin to slow down and need us in ways they never did before. In this deeply personal episode, we open up about the emotional complexity of witnessing our parents age. From role reversals and unresolved wounds, to meaningful moments and surprising lessons, we reflect on how our relationships with our parents evolve, and how
Sep 11, 2025 · 49 min
Grieving Relationships
Not all grief is about death. Sometimes, the hardest losses are the people (or pets) who are still alive—but no longer in our lives. In this episode, we’re talking about the heartbreak of losing relationships: romantic breakups, friendship fallouts, and the deep sadness that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved pet. We explore how grief shows up emotionally, mentally, and even physically—and the unique challenges of letting go of someone who once meant everything to you. Together, we sha
Sep 4, 2025 · 39 min
Grieving Your Past
Grief isn’t just about death—it’s also about the quiet losses we carry as we grow and evolve. In this episode, we’re kicking off a 4-part series on grief by exploring what it means to grieve your past. Whether it’s a version of yourself that felt more confident, more desirable, or more socially “relevant,” we often feel a deep emotional pull toward who we used to be. From aging and identity shifts to the grief of letting go of our dreams, we’re diving into the invisible grief that comes with
Aug 28, 2025 · 56 min
How to Put Yourself Out There
Most of us want to be seen, heard, and understood, but the fear of judgment can stop us from doing so. Whether it’s being more social, speaking your feelings, or sharing creative work, putting yourself out there can feel risky, especially when we’ve been conditioned to play it safe due to past hurt or rejection. In this episode, we’re sharing: Our personal journeys from shy and self-conscious to being more visible The fears that held us back, and sometimes still do How we want to be perce