Everything But

Lottie Morley & Lulu Gould

🚨breaking: absolutely nothing important🚨

Journalists Lottie Morley and Lulu Gould look at everything but the top stories.

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30 episodes
Updated Thursday

Episodes30

Newest first

Thursday · 59 min
Happy Birthday Punch the monkey
In which Lottie and Lulu discuss their attitudes to risk and Lottie's meet cute with Greg Wallace. You'll hear a breakdown the GOP primary for Governor of Colorado with its insane cast of characters. They ponder whether Emily Wilson heard their review of The Odyssey and decided she didn't like it much either, how many birthday cards a famous monkey should expect to receive and whether Prince Louis' sexuality should be up for public discussion.
July 23 · 50 min
The Odyssey: an unofficial review
Lottie and Lulu dissect Christopher Nolan's newest film. Lulu's been to see The Odyssey, Lottie hasn't, but they both, surprisingly, have THOUGHTS. They return to the Katie Price and Lee Andrews saga after he was accused of trying to sell a sex tape, before taking a look at Matty Healy's stag do and subsequent wedding, asking whether he was taking a swipe at Taylor Swift... or if he truly does not care. Finally, the girls analyse Madonna, BTS and Justin Bieber at the FIFA World Cup half-time show and ask whether football has finally gone full Super Bowl. Oh, and is it ever acceptable to wear white to a wedding à la Spice Girl Geri Halliwell?
July 17 · 54 min
Harry Potter and the Penal Colony
Lottie and Lulu discuss Katie Price's husband Lee Andrews being BACK in prison and speculate as to why. They offer rudimentary analysis of the scandal engulfing Bill Gates' Girl Boss daughter Phoebe, and consider how they would react if someone was sucked out of an aeroplane they were travelling on. Finally, they discuss the Ukrainian prisoner of war who dictated all seven Harry Potter books from memory to his inmates, and the creative licence he may have taken in the retelling.
July 9 · 1 hr 10 min
Taylor Swift's actual wedding
Lottie and Lulu discuss Taylor and Travis' wedding at length, getting into the guest list, food options, music choices and outfit selections. Lottie tries to make a letter bomb salacious and briefly gets into the annexation of Crimea before Lulu swiftly moves on to Prince Harry's UK visit without Meghan and Nicola Sturgeon's single-girl era. The girls wonder whether Zendaya is raising the planet's temperature with her outfit choices and whether it's appropriate for a Prime Minister to play Shag, Marry, Date.
July 2 · 1 hr 2 min
Taylor Swift's wedding & frugal freaks
Lottie and Lulu discuss whether Taylor Swift will really get married at MSG this weekend, and what the toilet situation will be if she does. They ponder the non-existence of the live stream Katie Price and Lee Andrews promised, and the Indian billionaire coming to rescue Pablo Escobar's herd of hippos. On the other end of the wealth spectrum, they discuss the couple who live ultra-frugally to retire early and whether they could do it themselves.
June 25 · 1 hr
Wowcher Witch Hunt
This week Lottie and Lulu discuss their thoughts on Father’s Day, Molly Mae’s baby name and Lee Andrew’s new hair and post-prison persona as adoptive father of Katie Price’s children. They get into the Crown Princess of Norway’s ‘evil’ Targaryen-looking son and ‘Becky Hill’ getting booed off-stage in Glasgow. The girls also decide the country has a right to know who sent THAT Wowcher email.
June 4 · 51 min
Katie Price's husband FOUND, apparently
This week Lottie and Lulu break down how they would spend £400,000 if they happened to know how to embezzle. They talk about Donald Trump's 80th birthday celebrations - he'll be keeping it classy and hosting a UFC cage match on the White House Lawn. They run through all the latest on the search for Mr Katie Price (Lee Andrews) and discuss the 'feud' between Becky Hill and Jack Whitehall.
May 21 · 55 min
Episode 23: Where the hell is Katie Price's husband?
Lottie and Lulu talk about missing person Lee Andrews and reaffirm their loyalty to Katie Price. They also dissect Venezuela Fury’s wedding and discuss what their weddings would have looked like if they got married at 16. They ponder whether they would (allegedly) murder their fathers for €4.5 billion and Jacob Elordi getting caught pulling a sicky.
May 7 · 45 min
Episode 22: JP Morgan 'sex slave'
Lottie and Lulu talk about the Hantavirus outbreak on a cruise ship and offer their professional medical opinions to the Government of Tenerife and the cruise provider. They also get into the ‘sex slave’ accusations made against a JP Morgan employee by her former subordinate and wonder whether a woman would ever actually describe her boobs as ‘canons’ . Finally they ponder whether you should ever talk about giving or receiving oral sex on the internet à la Bryan Johnson and speculate about their vaginal microbiota.
April 30 · 51 min
Episode 21: Murder AND manslaughter
Lottie and Lulu discuss the behaviour of people at the White House correspondents' dinner, whether it’s ever OK to date your friend’s ex, (even if they’re Harry Styles) and King Charles’ squirrel fetish (allegedly). Lulu is ready to kill more animals while Lottie is ready to lay her life on the line for a crayfish she’s never met and Club Chalamet decides she’s had ENOUGH.
April 23 · 48 min
Episode 20: Inshallah Anne Hathaway
Lottie and Lulu discuss the latest updates (or lack thereof) from the Alix Earle vs Alex Cooper drama and ponder whether Anne Hathaway is allowed to say Inshallah? Lottie reveals she's a sex tourist whilst trying to out other sex tourists and the girls discuss Spain's greatest matador getting gored up the bum.
April 16 · 54 min
Episode 19: Alex vs Alix
Lottie and Lulu discuss all the drama going down between Alix Earle and Alex Cooper - whose side are you on? They critique Trump's AI artwork of himself as Jesus Christ, discuss whether it's OK to cull Pablo Escobar's hippos and run through the fun Coachella gossip from the first weekend. Apologies for Lulu's sound quality this week!
April 9 · 38 min
Episode 18: Gossip is good for you
Lottie tells Lulu about the Artemis II mission, Trump warmongering at an Easter Egg hunt and delves into the medicinal and scientific benefits of gossiping. The girls also discuss sleepmaxxing, compare sleep schedules and decide who is getting sleepmogged.
April 2 · 51 min
Episode 17: How many KitKats can you eat in a day?
Lottie & Lulu have a look at the life of Kristi Noem (Donald Trump's former head of homeland security) after her husband was found dressing up as a woman online. We run over the heists that happened in March, from KitKats to cheap paintings from an Italian museum. Who's the daddy? A woman who’s taken identical twins to court, still doesn’t know. And how many bananas is too many bananas?
March 26 · 1 hr 1 min
Episode 16: Interrailing capybaras
After weeks of begging Lulu is finally allowed to talk to Lottie about The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and its star, Taylor Frankie Paul. They discuss Chappell Roan's hatred of children and of people in general, the latest memoir scandal to hit the US and the Great Escape of two capybaras. A heads up: this episode contains discussions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
March 19 · 51 min
Episode 15: Curse of the hypno-boob
Lottie and Lulu talk about Timothée Chalamet's Oscars loss and how his biggest fan (Club Chalamet) is dealing with it. Will Green Party leader Zack Polanski ever get over his hypno-boob scandal? Would you stay friends with someone after they gave you botulism? And babies are LIARS - and now there's proof.
March 5 · 45 min
Episode 14: When Donald Trump gets a rash, the whole world itches
Lottie and Lulu discuss whether Jim Carey is being possessed by an alien life force and Donald Trump’s neck rash. Are Tom Holland and Zendaya actually married, Lily Allen's first show back and Cruz Beckham’s (lack of) knowledge of the British Isles.
February 26 · 38 min
Episode 13: Protect Punch the monkey
Lottie and Lulu talk about the monkey who’s stolen hearts across the world, the Reese’s Pieces nepo baby trying to protect his family legacy and the woman who spent seven years getting revenge on a cult celebrity Pilates studio - attended by Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and Victoria Beckham.
February 19 · 49 min
Episode 12: Kim Jong Un, Girl Dad
Lottie and Lulu become film critics after watching Wuthering Heights despite knowing nothing about cinema and only one of them having read the book. They also talk about Kim Jong Un spoiling his tween daughter like any good Girl Dad should and we ponder the enormousness of the universe thanks to Barack Obama.
February 12 · 53 min
Episode 11: Evil ice dancers
Lottie and Lulu talk Wuthering Heights and if we’re being affair baited by Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi. Cheating, penis injections and bullying accusations at the Winter Olympics. We run through the list of questions that crop up when a man sticks a WW1 bomb up his bum and are Kim Kardashian and Lewis Hamilton the real deal?