Delusional Witch Juice

Heather Nations

Delusional Witch Juice is a weird-history podcast exploring witchcraft, folklore, the occult, paranormal phenomena, strange beliefs, and the stories hiding beneath the stories we think we know. It's part history lecture, part séance, part group chat. Unfiltered, well-researched, and made especially for delusional witches.

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Wednesday · 36 min
Baba Yaga: The Slavic Witch With a House on Chicken Legs
There's a witch in Slavic folklore whose house gets up and walks around on chicken legs. She flies in a giant mortar, sweeps away her tracks with a broom, and depending on the story, she'll either eat you or save your life. So where did Baba Yaga come from? Heather follows the paper trail and finds that her earliest written traces don't come from village storytellers at all. They come from a woodblock print of Baba Yaga riding a pig into battle against a crocodile, a scientist's grammar book that couldn't match her to a single god, and a writer who claimed the devil boiled her out of twelve nasty women. Along the way: the goddess theory and the people who wanted it to be true, why her hut might really be a house for the dead, and how she ended up in Dungeons & Dragons, Fables, and AMC's Yaga. Goddess, monster, or grandma? It depends on who's knocking. 0:00 The Slavic witch with a chicken-leg house1:08 Meet Baba Yaga: Vasilisa the Beautiful5:51 Villain or helper? It depends who’s knocking12:50 Baba Yaga vs. the Brothers Grimm14:01 The paper trail: a cartoon, a scientist, and a cauldron19:32 Was Baba Yaga ever a goddess?24:22 Why does her house have chicken legs?28:48 Why people kept telling her stories31:04 How Baba Yaga got to America34:27 So who invented Baba Yaga? Follow Delusional Witch Juice on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.Selected sources : Andreas Johns, Baba Yaga: The Ambiguous Mother and Witch of the Russian Folktale (2004); Sibelan Forrester, Baba Yaga: The Wild Witch of the East in Russian Fairy Tales (2013); Faith Wigzell, review of Johns, Slavonic and East European Review (2006); A. N. Afanasyev, "Vasilisa the Fair," trans. Leonard A. Magnus; University of Florida Center for European Studies, Baba Yaga materials (tale translations by Johns); A. Boguslawski, "Satirical Lubok," Rollins College; Russia Beyond, "Your ultimate guide to Baba Yaga" (Alexandra Barkova); UT Austin Linguistics Research Center, Old Russian Online.
S5 · E18
November 4 · 28 min
Retrograde Season: What the 5 Planets Mean and the History Behind the Astrology
Mercury goes retrograde three or four times a year, and somehow that’s supposed to explain why you hit reply-all. So who decided retrograde means anything in the first place? Heather starts with a quick cheat sheet of what astrologers say Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune mean in retrograde, then follows the belief back 2,700 years. From Babylonian scribes reading the sky for their kings to astrologers interpreting backward motion as delays, reversals, and things returning, the meanings piled up for a reason. The jump from royal omens to blaming Mercury for broken phones (and Venus for texts from your ex) got some help from a 1970s astrology newsletter and early internet communities. Plus: a Babylonian tablet interpreting Mercury’s movements is missing, leaving a frustrating gap right where we’d like some answers Chapters: 0:00 Five planets moving backward1:20 What's actually happening in the sky2:50 The retrograde cheat sheet: what each planet means5:20 Back to Babylon: the sky as the gods' message board7:24 The first people to track retrograde8:49 Mercury's god of writing10:17 The lost Mercury tablet14:55 Greeks, Romans and Ptolemy17:22 Astrologers for hire: "nothing will come of it"20:07 Copernicus explains it, and it survives anyway22:00 The modern relay: newspapers, a newsletter and the internet26:02 So who decided? Selected sources: National Geographic, "We're in Mercury retrograde. Here's what that really means" (2023; Mathieu Ossendrijver, Nicholas Campion); TIME, "Mercury Is Entering Retrograde Again" (Campion); Eleanor Robson, "Who wrote the Babylonian astronomical diaries?" (UCL); ORACC, Ancient Mesopotamian Gods and Goddesses: Nabu; Skyscript, "Mercury: mythology"; William Lilly, Christian Astrology (1647); Jo Livingstone, "How Mercury Retrograde Went Viral," Harper's Bazaar (2022; research by Joanna Martin); Bustle, Mercury retrograde oral history (Kate Trgovac); LMU Munich, Electronic Babylonian Library; British Museum / Library of Ashurbanipal. Music: "The Box's Secret" via AISong.org, used under license. Follow Delusional Witch Juice wherever you're listening.
S5 · E17
October 28 · 26 min
Samhain to Halloween: How an Irish Festival Became American Halloween
A medieval Irish story says that on Samhain night, the fairy mounds open, and one warrior walks into a hill and comes back carrying summer. This year Americans will spend $13.5 billion on Halloween. So what happened in between? We follow Samhain from feasting kings and a maybe-sacred hill in County Meath, through a made-up "lord of the dead," the Church's messy calendar, kale-stalk fortune-telling, turnip lanterns, and a Welsh demon pig. Then we look at how the witch got into Halloween (it starts with confessions taken under torture), the first "tricks or treats" in print (Canada, 1917), the poisoned-candy panic, and whether anyone still celebrates the old way. Spoiler: there's a kid on the Isle of Man with a turnip. Chapters 0:00 The night the hills open 1:26 What Samhain actually was 6:22 The god who wasn't 7:55 Did the Church steal Samhain? 9:49 Guising, kale stalks and turnip lanterns 13:02 How the witch got into Halloween 15:31 Coming to America 17:40 The first "trick or treat" 18:48 The poisoned-candy panic 20:03 Does anyone still do it the old way? 24:55 From the hills to a hot dog costume Content note: witch trials and torture (briefly), and the 1974 poisoning of a child. Music: "The Box's Secret" via AISong.org, used under license. Follow Delusional Witch Juice wherever you're listening.
S5 · E1
October 21 · 28 min
The Witchfinder General: England's Deadliest Witch Hunt
In 1645, a young man in a small Essex town said he'd overheard witches meeting near his house. Within about two years, more than a hundred people across eastern England had been hanged. Matthew Hopkins had no official job and no real title, so how did the "Witchfinder General" end up running England's deadliest witch hunt, and why didn't anyone stop him? Heather follows the imps of Manningtree, the towns that paid for the witchfinder's services, a court sent to make the trials fair that hanged eighteen people in one day, an eighty-year-old vicar who confessed to sinking a ship, and the legend of how Hopkins died. Was he a con man, a true believer, or a service his neighbors kept hiring? Chapters: 00:00 The imp called Vinegar Tom 01:48 Who was Matthew Hopkins? 04:53 Manningtree, spring 1645 08:50 The Chelmsford trial 09:47 The witchfinders on tour 12:26 A bear in the garden 13:02 Twenty shillings a town 16:08 Parliament steps in 17:53 John Lowes 19:23 The vicar who pushed back 21:29 Hopkins answers back 23:30 How he really died 24:45 So what was he? 27:08 His ghost Content note: discusses torture, sleep deprivation and executions. Sources Malcolm Gaskill, Witchfinders: A Seventeenth-Century English Tragedy (2005): https://research-portal.uea.ac.uk/en/publications/witchfinders-a-seventeenth-century-english-tragedy/ Matthew Hopkins, The Discovery of Witches (1647), Project Gutenberg: https://gutenberg.org/files/14015/14015-h/14015-h.htm "The devil in East Anglia: the Matthew Hopkins trials reconsidered," Witchcraft in Early Modern Europe (Cambridge University Press): https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/witchcraft-in-early-modern-europe/devil-in-east-anglia-the-matthew-hopkins-trials-reconsidered/457471091C78984FFDB263B9CF2290BD A True Relation of the Araignment of Eighteene Witches… at St. Edmunds-bury (1645), Bodleian: https://ota.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/repository/xmlui/handle/20.500.12024/A95190?show=full John Gaule, Select Cases of Conscience Touching Witches and Witchcrafts (1646), Bodleian: https://ota.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/repository/xmlui/handle/20.500.12024/A85867?show=full Britannica, "Matthew Hopkins": https://www.britannica.com/print/article/1279664 University of Manchester, Nehemiah Wallington's notebook: https://www.manchester.ac.uk/about/news/diary-of-witchfinder-general-trials-published-online/ Discovering Britain (Royal Geographical Society), Manningtree trail: https://www.discoveringbritain.org/activities/east-of-england/trails/manningtree-trail.html Thanks for listening! Follow Delusional Witch Juice wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.
S5 · E12
October 14 · 32 min
Paying Off the Dead: Purgatory, Walking Corpses, and the Price of Salvation
In 12th-century England, a dead man kept climbing into bed with his wife, and the whole street stayed up every night to watch for him. To understand why, we follow the strange medieval debt between the living and the dead: from Cluny’s prayers for souls, to walking corpses at Wharram Percy, to the 1517 indulgence campaign that literally put a price on salvation. Content note: descriptions of corpses being exhumed and burned, plague, and death. Chapters 00:00 The man who came home 01:46 Cluny and a day for the dead 04:35 When hell filed a complaint 06:21 Before purgatory had a name 07:55 William of Newburgh's walking dead 13:35 The bones at Wharram Percy 15:28 The bishop's letter 17:22 The 1517 price list 22:01 The rhyme and Luther's letter 25:09 They kept paying anyway 29:28 Why pay the dead? Selected sources: William of Newburgh, History of English Affairs, Book 5 (trans. Stevenson); Jacques Le Goff, The Birth of Purgatory; Mays et al., Journal of Archaeological Science: Reports (2017); the Instructio summaria and Tetzel's sermon (trans. Hillerbrand, The Reformation, 1964); Ronald Hutton, The Stations of the Sun; John Aubrey, Remaines of Gentilisme and Judaisme. Music: "The Box's Secret" via AISong.org, used under license. Follow @delusionalwitchjuice
S5 · E15
October 7 · 29 min
The Weird History of Household Protection: Witch Bottles, Hidden Shoes & Mummified Cats
In 2004, builders in London dug up a sealed bottle from the 1600s filled with urine, bent nails, hair, fingernail clippings and a leather heart with a nail through it. Whoever made it never explained why. For centuries, people across England hid bottles, worn-out shoes, dead cats and carved symbols in their homes to keep witches out. Heather digs into a 1681 witch-bottle recipe, a 1682 witchcraft trial where a grieving father tried the counter-spell himself, protective marks in a room prepared for King James I, the shoe historian who started tracking hidden shoes in the 1950s, and the mummified cats nobody can fully explain. Was this magic kept secret, or was it just so normal that nobody bothered to write it down? Content note: discussion of a child's death and of animal remains. 0:00 The bottle in Greenwich1:30 The witch-bottle recipe9:11 The trial of Jane Kent13:27 A king's bedroom17:09 Hidden shoes21:47 Cats in the walls24:44 Hidden in plain sight26:17 Why didn't anyone write it down? Music: "The Box's Secret" via AISong.org, used under license. Follow Delusional Witch Juice wherever you listen. Show notes sources Greenwich witch bottle: LiveScience/NBC News (2009) · https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna31107319 ; Archaeology Magazine · https://archive.archaeology.org/online/features/halloween/opening_witch_bottle/ Joseph Glanvill, Saducismus Triumphatus (1681), full text · https://github.com/textcreationpartnership/A42824 Trial of Jane Kent, Old Bailey Proceedings, 1 June 1682 · https://www.oldbaileyonline.org/record/t16820601a-11 MOLA, witch bottles · https://www.mola.org.uk/discoveries/news/what-should-you-do-if-you-find-17th-century-witch-bottle National Trust, Witchmarks at Knole · https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/visit/kent/knole/witchmarks-at-knole-and-the-gunpowder-plot ; Francis Young, "A note of caution" · https://drfrancisyoung.com/2014/11/06/the-knole-witch-marks-a-note-of-caution/ Northampton Museums, Concealed Shoe Index · https://www.northamptonmuseums.com/info/3/collections/61/shoes-2/4 ; Ceri Houlbrook, "The Other Shoe" (2017) · https://www.research.herts.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/11997749/The_Other_Shoe_Proof.pdf John Schorn pilgrim badge, British Museum · https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/H_1983-1203-2 Brian Hoggard, "Dried Cats" · https://www.apotropaios.co.uk/dried-cats.html ; Pendle cottage cat · https://ancientbodies.wordpress.com/2011/12/11/witches-cats-and-buildings-not-a-simple-story/ Creswell Crags witch marks, Historic England (2019) · https://historicengland.org.uk/whats-new/news/witches-marks-discovery-largest-in-britain/
S5 · E14
September 30 · 30 min
Victorian Séances: Who Answered When They Called the Dead?
In 1848, according to her mother, an 11-year-old girl in upstate New York clapped her hands at a knocking wall and said, "Mr. Splitfoot, do as I do." And the wall knocked back. Forty years later, her sister walked onto a New York stage and cracked her toe in front of around 2,000 people to show them how she said it was done. In between, the Victorians built a log cabin full of instruments for ghosts, tied mediums up in cabinets, took a spirit's pulse, and turned talking to the dead into a board game you could buy. This week I'm digging into Victorian séances: the rules of the spirit circle, the mediums who got caught (and the ones who didn't), how Charles Darwin and Alfred Russel Wallace ended up on opposite sides of a medium's trial, and how the pendulum, the planchette and the Ouija board let people make the call themselves. Plus a modern experiment where the Ouija board seemed to know more than the people using it. So when the Victorians called out to the dead, who actually answered? Chapters(00:00) Mr. Splitfoot, do as I do(01:33) Why people wanted to call the dead(07:14) The spirit room(11:04) Proof in the dark(17:04) Maggie Fox's confession(20:30) The pendulum: who's moving it?(23:25) The planchette(25:04) The Ouija board(27:35) So who answered?
S5 · E10
September 22 · 32 min
Mabon: The Kidnapped Baby Behind the Fall Equinox
The modern Pagan name for the fall equinox belongs to a Welsh man who was kidnapped when he was three nights old, imprisoned for an unknown length of time, and rescued only because one of King Arthur's impossible tasks required him to handle a magical hunting dog. In 1974, a Pagan writer named Aidan Kelly needed a name for the autumn equinox. He built an argument for one — running through the Eleusinian Mysteries, Demeter and Persephone, a baby held in a fire, Abraham and Isaac — and landed on Mabon ap Modron. But the Welsh story does not say what Kelly said it says. Mabon is not dead when he is found, nobody named Gwydion rescues him, and the search that finds him runs through a blackbird, a stag, an owl, an eagle, and finally a salmon. I follow the name back through the stories that built it, and find that the most interesting thing about Mabon is the part nobody can explain: why he was taken at all. Chapters 00:00 Cold open: a baby stolen at three nights old 02:01 How Mabon got onto the calendar 05:10 Demeter, Persephone, and a child in the fire 11:05 Abraham, Isaac, and the ram 14:20 The Helen problem 15:28 Looking for a northern counterpart 16:51 The marriage quest from hell 20:43 Asking the oldest animals in the world 23:14 A loose end: who actually holds the dog?24:41 Who was Mabon before the prison? 29:33 Back to the equinox Sources Aidan Kelly, About Naming Ostara, Litha and Mabon (Patheos, 2017) — his own account of the 1974 calendar Homeric Hymn to Demeter, Evelyn-White translation Medelhavsmuseet, The Eleusinian Mysteries Foundation of the Hellenic World, The Eleusinian Mysteries ritual Apollodorus, Library, Epitome 1.23–24 Genesis 22 (Chabad Tanakh) Babylonian Talmud, Megillah 31a (Sefaria) Culhwch and Olwen, Lady Charlotte Guest translation (Robbins Library, University of Rochester) Pa gur yv y porthaur (“Arthur and the Porter”) Rachel Bromwich, Trioedd Ynys Prydein, triad 52, via Siân Echard Roman Inscriptions of Britain 583 — the Ribchester dedication to Apollo Maponus Peniarth 147 — the woman at the ford Music: “The Box's Secret” — AI-generated via AISong.org If you want another historical rabbit hole with a suspicious amount of mythology attached, follow Delusional Witch Juice wherever you're listening.
S5 · E12
September 4 · 31 min
The Real Witchcraft Behind Practical Magic: What TikTok Got Wrong
When did Practical Magic stop being a movie and start becoming witch lore? The 1998 film gave us the Owens house, rosemary by the garden gate, midnight margaritas, family grimoires, suspiciously perfect hair, and enough cozy witch imagery to fuel Pinterest for approximately three lifetimes. But a lot of what we now associate with the Practical Magic version of witchcraft wasn't an ancient tradition. It was fiction. In this episode of Delusional Witch Juice, we're getting into how a box-office flop slowly became one of the biggest influences on the modern witch aesthetic, and how the internet helped remove the quotation marks around fictional witchcraft. We’re talking about: • Why Practical Magic originally flopped • The very real folklore mixed into the movie's fictional magic • The alleged curse placed on the production • Why the Owens house feels weirdly historically authentic despite never actually existing • How Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, and WitchTok turned movie imagery into “witch knowledge” • Why repetition can make something fictional feel traditional • And what happens when Practical Magic 2 enters an internet already obsessed with the Owens aesthetic CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold Open 02:57 The Movie Did Not Become a Blueprint Overnight 05:43 How Repetition Turns an Image Into a Fact 08:01 The Movie’s Actual Magic Trick 13:24 The House That Looked Like Proof 16:08 The Internet Removed the Plot 20:09 When the Feed Became the Grimoire 24:49 Does Fictional Lore Become Real Lore? 27:28 So What Happens When the Sequel Arrives? RESEARCH + FURTHER READING Alice Hoffman — Practical Magic (1995) Claudia Williams — “The Practical Magic House: Unveiling the Design Secrets of This Enchanting Dwelling,” Architectural Digest David Sims — “Thank the ’90s for Practical Magic,” The Atlantic Lila Shapiro — “The True Story of How Practical Magic Got Cursed by a Witch,” Vulture Chris Miller — “How Modern Witches Enchant TikTok: Intersections of Digital, Consumer, and Material Culture(s) on #WitchTok,” Religions Museum of Witchcraft and Magic — “The Witches Hat” Museum of London Archaeology — research on concealed witch bottles and ritual objects Follow Delusional Witch Juice on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, subscribe on YouTube for full video episodes, and follow on Instagram and TikTok for clips, strange history, folklore, and whatever rabbit hole I fall into next. And if you know somebody who owns the margarita glasses, planted rosemary beside the garden gate, or has spent twenty years trying to recreate the Owens kitchen... send them this episode.
S5 · E11
August 27 · 26 min
Why Witches Won't Make Moon Water on a Lunar Eclipse
Why is regular full-moon water considered magical, but eclipse water is treated like the LaCroix of chaos? In this episode of Delusional Witch Stews, Heather investigates where our beliefs about full moons, moon water, and “chaotic eclipse energy” actually come from. We’re talking lunar madness, historically inaccurate werewolves, modern Wiccan esbats, celestial dragons, moon-eating jaguars, Mesopotamian eclipse omens, and the deeply inconvenient question: should you make eclipse water or not? The answer is less about a universal witchcraft rule and more about the story you believe the eclipse is telling. CHAPTERS 00:00 Tonight’s lunar eclipse 00:20 The usual full-moon rules 01:11 Why is eclipse water considered dangerous? 02:08 Why humans think the full moon is powerful 04:48 Werewolves and modern moon folklore 06:17 Full moons, Wicca, and esbats 08:09 Where did moon water come from? 10:14 The science of a lunar eclipse 11:42 Dragons, jaguars, and monsters eating the moon 14:30 Mesopotamian eclipse omens 17:28 Why eclipses became symbols of chaos 19:02 Is eclipse water actually dangerous? 21:12 When magical symbolism meets physics 23:12 Should you make eclipse water? 24:49 Two different stories about the moon 26:09 Closing RESEARCH & FURTHER READING • NASA — August 27–28, 2026 Deep Partial Lunar Eclipse https://svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/5672 • The Metropolitan Museum of Art — The Solar Eclipse and the Substitute King https://www.metmuseum.org/perspectives/solar-eclipse-substitute-king • PubMed — The Influence of the Lunar Cycle on Psychiatric Emergency Consultations https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41845243/ • PubMed — No Effect of Lunar Cycle on Psychiatric Admissions or Emergency Evaluations https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17256692/ • Scott Cunningham — The Complete Book of Incense, Oils & Brews If you enjoyed this trip down the lunar rabbit hole, follow Delusional Witch Stews and share the episode with the witch in your life who already has a jar sitting outside.
S5 · E9
August 20 · 42 min
The Strange History of Fortune Telling: From Royal Astrologers to Zoltar
This week on Delusional Witch Juice, I discuss the real history of fortune telling and how the creepy crystal ball fortune teller is way younger than you think. From ancient Chinese oracle bones and Mesopotamian diviners to Queen Elizabeth I’s astrologer John Dee and a celebrity astrologer consulting America’s financial elite, predicting the future was once serious business. Plus the history of scrying, why tarot cards were originally a game, how the Romani fortune teller stereotype developed, the rise of coin-operated fortune telling machines, and why Magic 8-Balls, fortune cookies, cootie catchers, and even modern algorithms prove we still really hate not knowing what happens next. 00:00 — Intro 03:39 — The Basics 05:47 — Scrying & Other Divination Tools 08:12 — Where Did Fortune Telling Come From? 11:16 — Advisor to the Queen 14:12 — Fortune Telling on Wall Street 16:29 — How Dictators used Fortune Telling 18:51 — When it Became Illegal 22:56 — Tarot and Divination 26:53 — Romani Does Not = Fortune Teller 30:00 — Woman with The Crystal Ball 32:23 — Magic 8 Balls and Cootie Catchers 35:23 — The Need to Know SOURCES & FURTHER READING The Metropolitan Museum of Art — “Before Fortune-Telling: The History and Structure of Tarot Cards” The early history of tarot as a card game and its much later association with occultism and fortune telling. Read at The Met The Metropolitan Museum of Art — Shang Dynasty Oracle Bones Examples of inscribed bones used in ancient Chinese royal divination. Explore the collection Smarthistory / Smithsonian National Museum of Asian Art — “Oracle Bone, Shang Dynasty” How Shang rulers used ox bones and tortoise shells to ask questions about war, illness, weather, hunting and other concerns. Read the article British Museum — Dr. Dee’s Magical Mirror The obsidian mirror associated with Elizabethan scholar, astrologer and occultist John Dee. View the British Museum object Royal Museums Greenwich — John Dee John Dee’s work in astrology, navigation, alchemy, his relationship with Elizabeth I and his attempts to communicate with angels through scrying. Read at Royal Museums Greenwich J. Paul Getty Museum — “Rising Signs: The Medieval Science of Astrology” Astrology’s role in medieval medicine, agriculture, divination and royal courts, including rulers consulting astrologers about marriages and military outcomes. Read at Getty Science History Institute — “Disorderly Persons” The history of fortune-telling laws, witchcraft and vagrancy statutes, Romani stereotypes, gender and the transformation of fortune telling from supposed magic into alleged fraud. Read at Science History Institute Bible Gateway — Deuteronomy 18:10–13 One of the major biblical prohibitions against divination, omens, sorcery, mediums and consulting the dead. Read the passage The Vatican — Catechism of the Catholic Church, Sections 2115–2117 The Catholic Church’s distinction between divine prophecy and prohibited practices such as astrology, horoscopes, palmistry, omens, clairvoyance and mediums. Read the Catechism Cambridge University Press — Eric Kurlander, “The Nazi Magicians’ Controversy” A scholarly examination of astrology, occultism and so-called “border sciences” within Nazi Germany, including the regime’s complicated mixture of suppression and exploitation. Read at Cambridge Core The Strong National Museum of Play — “The Play of Fortune” Fortune telling as entertainment, including coin-operated arcade fortune tellers such as the 1957 Grandma Fortune Teller. Read at The Strong The Strong National Museum of Play — History of the Magic 8 Ball The strange path from a professional clairvoyant’s device to one of America’s most recognizable fortune-telling toys. Read the history Smithsonian Magazine — “Cracking Open the History of Fortune Cookies” The Japanese predecessors of the modern fortune cookie and how the cookie eventually became associated with Chinese-American restaurants. Read at Smithsonian Magazine
S5 · E1
August 11 · 21 min
August 12 Is Cosmic Chaos: Eclipse, Planets & Perseids
This week on Delusional Witch Juice, I discuss why August 12 is being called cosmic chaos—and whether somebody actually left the Lion’s Gate Portal open. From a six-planet parade and New Moon in Leo to a total solar eclipse and perfectly timed Perseid meteor shower, the celestial guest list is much messier than the internet claims. Plus ancient Mesopotamian substitute kings, the gardener who inherited a throne after the real king died from hot soup, the fiery Tears of Saint Lawrence, and what people in the Midwest can actually see in the sky. CHAPTERS 00:00 August 12th Has Entered the Group Chat 02:07 The Official Cosmic Guest List 04:37 The Planet Parade: Before Sunrise 07:30 The Main Event: Total Solar Eclipse 09:58 Someone Is Going to Die 13:15 Enter the Perseids 16:29 Why the 2026 Perseids Are Special 18:23 So What Is Actually Happening? 20:23 Thank Yous SOURCES & FURTHER READING The August 12 Cosmic Events NASA — August 2026 Skywatching Guide International Meteor Organization — 2026 Meteor Shower Calendar NASA — Notable Astronomical Events of 2026 The Planet Parade August 12 Planetary Alignment Guide Visible Planets in August 2026 The New Moon & Solar Eclipse NASA — August 12, 2026 Eclipse Data NASA — Interactive Eclipse Map New Moon and Solar Eclipse at 20° Leo Eclipses Visible from St. Louis Eclipse Omens & Substitute Kings The Metropolitan Museum of Art — The Solar Eclipse and the Substitute King The Perseids & Comet Swift–Tuttle NASA — The Perseid Meteor Shower NASA — Comet 109P/Swift–Tuttle National Geographic — The Grisly Origin Story Behind the Perseids FOLLOW THE SHOW INSTA YOUTUBE
S9 · E5
August 5 · 46 min
The Sinister Past of Garden Gnomes: Elves, Fairies & the Folklore Behind Them
In this episode of Delusional Witch Juice, Heather untangles the weird, messy folklore behind house spirits and the creatures we now casually lump together as “the fae.” From Scandinavian nisse who will apparently commit livestock murder over missing butter, to Scottish brownies who clean your house but absolutely do not want to be treated like employees, these supernatural roommates came with very specific boundaries. Along the way, Heather digs into where gnomes actually came from, why Snow White’s dwarfs aren’t gnomes, the surprising folklore parallels behind Dobby and Harry Potter’s house-elves, why fairy rings were considered dangerous, what Sleeping Beauty teaches us about fairy etiquette, and, finally, where the Smurfs fit into this entire supernatural mess. Turns out the cute little guy standing next to your hostas has a much stranger history than garden décor would have you believe. And if you decide to leave out some porridge tonight, just remember one thing: put the butter on top. Sources: Merriam-Webster — “Fairy” / “Faerie”Etymology and historical meanings of fairy and faerie, including the older meaning of enchantment or fairyland. Merriam-Webster: FairyMerriam-Webster: Faerie Paracelsus — Book on Nymphs, Sylphs, Pygmies, and SalamandersSource for Paracelsus’s elemental beings and the earth-dwelling creatures later associated with gnomes. Read via Internet Archive Brothers Grimm — “Little Snow-White”The older Snow White story explicitly describes the seven dwarfs digging for ore and gold in the mountains, which is why the mining connection matters. Read Little Snow-White Official Harry Potter Encyclopedia — House-ElvesConfirms that house-elves are bound to households and can be freed when their master gives them clothing. House-Elf Fact File Thomas Keightley — The Fairy MythologyHistorical folklore collection covering brownies and other household spirits, including leaving cream for brownies and the recurring stories where giving them clothing causes them to leave. Read The Fairy Mythology at Project Gutenberg Visit Norway — The Norwegian FjøsnisseCovers the traditional barn-dwelling nisse, its connection with farm animals, Christmas porridge, butter and the belief that neglecting the spirit could result in mischief. Meet the Norwegian Fjøsnisse Swedish Legends and Folktales — “The Missing Butter”Source for the beautifully unhinged story of the tomte discovering his butter was hidden beneath the porridge, killing the farm’s cow and stealing an identical replacement cow. The Missing Butter folklore text Woodland Trust — Fairy RingsExplains both the fungal science behind fairy rings and European folklore connecting them with dancing fairies, elves, witches and supernatural danger. What Is a Fairy Ring? Charles Perrault — “The Sleeping Beauty in the Wood”Perrault’s version has seven fairies invited as the princess’s godmothers and an older uninvited fairy who believes she has been insulted and curses the child. The supernatural etiquette drama was there long before Disney. Read Perrault's Sleeping Beauty The Smurfs — Official HistoryPeyo created the Smurfs as characters in Johan and Peewit in 1958. So, tragically, no ancient Smurf mythology. Just Belgium. Official Smurfs History Garden Gnome History / LampySir Charles Isham brought small German figures to Lamport Hall in the nineteenth century, helping establish the garden-gnome tradition in Britain. History of Lampy and the Garden Gnome
S5 · E6
July 29 · 42 min
Lammas: The Three Histories Behind the Pagan Bread Holiday
Back with another seasonal sabbat episode! Is Lammas really an ancient pagan bread holiday? In this episode, Heather follows the history from Old English “loaf-mass” and church-blessed bread to Lammas grazing rights, the Irish festival of Lughnasadh, and the story of Lugh’s foster mother Tailtiu. The modern holiday turns out to be a blend of three different traditions: an English Christian harvest observance, an Irish mythological and political gathering, and a modern Wiccan sabbat on the Wheel of the Year. Along the way, Heather gets into funeral games, land disputes, protective bread charms, and the ancient festival historians still cannot fully reconstruct. Listen to find out how all three histories ended up inside one modern pagan holiday. Sources Church of England — “The Agricultural Year” https://www.churchofengland.org/prayer-and-worship/worship-texts-and-resources/common-worship/churchs-year/times-and-seasons-4 A Clerk of Oxford — “A Little History of Lammas” https://aclerkofoxford.blogspot.com/2017/08/a-little-history-of-lammas.html J. G. L. Richardson — Lammas grazing rights and English commons https://journals.univie.ac.at/index.php/rhy/article/download/5762/5699/12153 Ronald Hutton — The Stations of the Sun https://academic.oup.com/book/1390/chapter/140717330 CELT — The Metrical Dindshenchas: Tailtiu https://celt.ucc.ie/published/T106500D/text033.html CELT — The Annals of Ulster, entry for 916 https://celt.ucc.ie/published/T100001A/text486.html Cambridge — “Harvest Shortfalls, Grain Prices, and Famines in Preindustrial England” https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-economic-history/article/abs/harvest-shortfalls-grain-prices-and-famines-in-preindustrial-england/A6BD779A911DD17910EA44DF8ADF7613 Ethan Doyle White — Wicca: History, Belief & Community in Modern Pagan Witchcraft https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv3029rcf Irish pronunciation recordings — Teanglann https://www.teanglann.ie/en/fuaim/L%C3%BAnasa 00:00 Pagan Bread Has Lore 04:47 Welcome and Ground Rules 08:08 The Internet Version 10:35 Loaf-Mass and Bread Magic 18:44 Lammas Land 23:30 Lugh, Tailtiu and the Fair 31:02 The Festival We Cannot Rebuild 35:59 Why the First Loaf Mattered 40:35 How It Joined the Wheel
S5 · E4
July 22 · 14 min
Low-Energy Witchcraft: Simple Rituals for Exhausted Days
What does witchcraft look like when you are sick, burnt out, overwhelmed, or simply too tired to feel magical? Heather explores low-energy witchcraft, the pressure to turn spirituality into another productivity system, and the small practices that can still create connection: one candle, one tarot card, a glass of water, a boundary, or permission to go to bed. Your practice does not disappear because your energy changes. Listen, then choose three things that can become your own bare-minimum spiritual safety net. 00:00 Practicing When You Feel Awful 01:49 Witchcraft as Productivity 04:55 What Counts as a Ritual? 06:48 Your Body Is Part of It 07:47 Three Levels of Practice 12:45 The Bare-Minimum Reset 14:00 Consistency Has Seasons 15:26 Build Your Spiritual Safety Net
S5 · E6
July 15 · 25 min
What Kind of Witch Are You? The Truth About Witch Types
This week: what "types of witches" quizzes actually get right (and wrong), the real history behind the word "witch" — including Salem's actual numbers and the "9 million" myth that isn't true — why Jung thought a witch lives in your subconscious, and why Agatha All Along is basically doing this whole episode on screen. Funny, sourced, no judgment either way. 0:00 Open 2:32 Welcome + Thesis 3:24 Ground Rules 4:18 WitchTok by the Numbers 7:03 Why Do We Even Do This? 8:25 My Hedge Witch Origin Story 10:39 Is Maiden, Mother, Crone Ancient? 14:17 The Robert Graves Plot Twist 17:00 Green/Kitchen/Hedge Witch, Explained 18:40 Salem & the Real Witch Trial History 22:27 Jung, the Shadow & the Wild Woman 24:39 Story Time: Being "Too Much" 27:23 Agatha All Along & Pop Culture Witches 29:07 Your Homework Find us @delusionalwitchjuice. DM your witch type!
S5 · E5
July 8 · 34 min
New Moon July 2026: Manifestation, Lunar Planning & My Smoke Detector
This week on Delusional Witch Juice, It's the New Moon in Cancer, July 14, 2026, 2:43 AM PT, so we're setting an intention live on air. But first: where does "manifestation" actually come from (hint: a guy with tuberculosis and a horse), what are the 8 real phases of the moon, and how did centuries-old farming folklore turn into today's "plan your launch by the moon" coaching trend? Plus: the real, non-mystical psychology reason a monthly lunar reset might actually help you. Folklore, real history, actual research, and one host's genuine new moon intention. Sources in the show notes. Follow Delusional Witch Juice on TikTok and Instagram: @delusionalwitchjuice MASTER SOURCE LIST Astro-Seek: New Moon July 2026 CHANI: 2026 Astrological Key Dates We'Moon: New & Full Moon Rituals Claire Daley: New Moon Rituals Wikipedia: Law of Attraction (New Thought) The Law of Attraction: History & 19th-Century Authors PMC: "The Secret" to Success? The Psychology of Belief in Manifestation SAGE: Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin NASA Science: Moon Phases Farmers' Almanac: Understanding the 8 Phases of the Moon Wikipedia: Lunar Phase Herbal Academy: Gardening By the Moon Living With The Moon: The Secret of Biodynamic Gardening Medium: The Moon, the Cow Horn, and the Cosmic Dance of Agriculture MDPI: Lunar Influence on Plants in Agriculture Nache' Snow: What To Do During Moon Phases Simone Samuels: How to Make Plans for Your Business Based on the Moon Healthline: Full Moon Effects The Conversation: Does the Full Moon Make Us Sleepless? Katy Milkman: The Fresh Start Effect PMC: Put Your Imperfections Behind You (Temporal Landmarks) Current Psychology (2026): Manifestation Research Status Psychology Today: Toxic Positivity
S5 · E4
July 1 · 26 min
Past Lives: Everyone Was Cleopatra, Nobody Was a Peasant
Why does everyone think they were Cleopatra in a past life — and never a turnip farmer? This week: what reincarnation actually means across Hinduism and Buddhism, the University of Virginia psychiatrist who documented 2,500 kids who remembered dying, the very boring brain-science reasons we "remember" past lives (hello, cryptomnesia), the Korean concept In-Yun from the movie Past Lives, and what your South Node supposedly says about who you used to be. Skeptical, funny, and refusing to flatten anybody's religion. Sources in the show notes. Follow Delusional Witch Juice on TikTok and Instagram: @delusionalwitchjuice MASTER SOURCE LIST Pew Research Center, "Beliefs about the afterlife," May 2025 — https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2025/05/06/beliefs-about-the-afterlife/ Wikipedia, "Reincarnation" — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reincarnation Wikipedia, "Ian Stevenson" — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Stevenson UVA Division of Perceptual Studies / Jim Tucker, "Ian Stevenson and Cases of the Reincarnation Type" (PDF) — https://med.virginia.edu/perceptual-studies/wp-content/uploads/sites/360/2016/12/REI36Tucker-1.pdf WHRO, "Since 1967, this small division at UVA has investigated the possibility of reincarnation," Dec 2024 — https://www.whro.org/education-news/2024-12-30/since-1967-this-small-division-at-the-university-of-virginia-has-investigated-the-possibility-of-reincarnation The Skeptic's Dictionary, "past life regression" — https://skepdic.com/pastlife.html Wikipedia, "Past life regression" — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Past_life_regression Science-Based Medicine, "Past Life Regression Therapy: Encouraging Fantasy" — https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/past-life-regression-therapy-encouraging-fantasy/ Wikipedia, "Bridey Murphy" — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridey_Murphy Psi Encyclopedia, "Criticisms of Reincarnation Case Studies" — https://psi-encyclopedia.spr.ac.uk/articles/criticisms-reincarnation-case-studies/ Psi Encyclopedia, "Reincarnation: An Introduction" — https://psi-encyclopedia.spr.ac.uk/articles/reincarnation-overview/ Pacific Ties, "Past Lives: Understanding In-Yun" — https://pacificties.org/past-lives-understanding-in-yun/ The Conversation, "Past Lives: a luxurious and lingering portrayal..." — https://theconversation.com/past-lives-a-luxurious-and-lingering-portrayal-of-lost-love-and-identity-in-the-korean-diaspora-213162 Nylon, "Past Lives & Astrology, Explained" — https://www.nylon.com/life/past-life-astrology-explained Jessica Adams, "Your Past Life in Astrology — North Node" — https://www.jessicaadams.com/2026/03/21/blog/your-past-life-in-astrology-north-node/ Feedspot, "20 Best Past Lives Podcasts 2026" — https://podcast.feedspot.com/past_lives_podcasts/
S5 · E1
June 9 · 53 min
Litha: The Summer Solstice Name That's Younger Than Your Parents
This week on Delusional Witch Juice, I discuss how the name Litha is younger than you think and the real history of the Summer Solstice is wilder than you think. From ancient Egypt to the Inca Empire to a Swedish midnight skinny dip past a murderous river demon, every culture celebrated the same sun completely differently. Plus the Oak King myth debunked, Litha 2026 astrology, and how to actually celebrate the Summer Solstice. Watch on YouTube with facial expressions included. SOURCES & FURTHER READING The Name Litha & The Wheel of the Year Aidan Kelly — "About Naming Ostara, Litha, and Mabon" Venerable Bede — De Temporum Ratione (The Reckoning of Time), 725 AD Ronald Hutton — The Triumph of the Moon (1999)Ronald Hutton — The Stations of the Sun (1996) Green Egg Magazine history Ancient EgypT Sphinx & pyramid solstice alignment Sirius, Sopdet & Isis mythology The Nile flood calendar Aswan High Dam ending the annual flood Nabta Playa — world's oldest solar observatory Inca / Inti Raymi Inti Raymi history Manco Capac origin story Intihuatana stone Inti Raymi revival 1944 Swedish Midsommar Midsommar history — Nordic Museum via The Culture Trip Midsommarstång origins Seven flowers tradition Swedish birth rate stat Official Swedish Midsommar guide The Maypole Maypole history Ronald Hutton — The Real Meaning of the Maypole The Oak King & Holly King No ancient evidence for the myth Robert Graves biography Ronald Hutton on invented tradition Scholar critique of The White Goddess Feast of St. John the Baptist St. John's Day history Church absorption of pagan holidays Astrology of Litha 2026 Venus conjunct Jupiter & June 2026 transits Cancer season astrology Mercury retrograde in Cancer How to Celebrate / Rituals Litha herb traditions Litha rituals overview Germanic Midsummer traditions Further Reading Ronald Hutton — The Triumph of the Moon (1999) Ronald Hutton — The Stations of the Sun (1996) Robert Graves — The White Goddess (1948)Venerable Bede — De Temporum Ratione (725 AD) FOLLOW THE SHOW INSTA TIKTOK YOUTUBE SUBSTACK
S5 · E1
May 18 · 36 min
The Real History of Tarot Cards (A French Pastor Lied)
We are continuing with the pivot from pop culture to witchy solo episodes for this season and this week: the real 600-year history of tarot, the secret society behind the most iconic deck ever made, and the artist who drew every card you've ever pulled — and got paid once, no royalties. Why everything Antoine Court de Gébelin claimed about tarot and ancient Egypt is wrong — and why the real story is actually more interesting. How a Brooklyn-born occultist and a Jamaican-British artist created the most iconic tarot deck of all time, inside the same secret society. What the Fool card has meant for 600 years straight — and hasn't needed a single reinterpretation. Follow Delusional Witch Juice wherever you get your podcasts. If this episode made you pull out your deck, leave a review — it helps more than you know. Sources for this episode: Metropolitan Museum of Art — Tarot History (free to read online) Morgan Library — Visconti-Sforza Collection (the actual cards, viewable online) Collector's Weekly: Tarot Mythology by Hunter Ottman-Stanford Mary K. Greer's Tarot Blog — translation of Court de Gébelin's original 1781 essay Artnet News: The Artist and Oculist Who Designed the Iconic Tarot Deck and Why Has No One Ever Heard of Her Name

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