Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Melanie Curtin

Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. If you want deep dating advice, help with relationships, or tips on how to have sex with women in a way they'll swoon over, c'mon in. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard?

And if you're ready to do the work, come work with us -- we'd love to have you: www.evolutionary.men/apply.

Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com.

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428 episodes
Updated Friday
Explicit

Episodes428

Newest first

Jul 7, 2023 · 1 hr 18 min
264: How do we learn about sex? (ft. Yuval Mann)
Was your family skilled at teaching you about sex? Was your school, or your religious community? HA. I'm guessing not. Many families of origin suck at talking about sex, dating, and relationships. And whether you grew up in a religious house or not, sex education tends to also be subpar, especially when it comes to teaching about sexual communication. How do you ask a partner for what you really want? How do you tell someone they're missing the mark when it comes to something sexual (like oral sex, or something about intercourse). On this episode we talk about all that, as well as how the #MeToo movement has impacted all of us. And we touch on how to overcome sexual shame. A particularly memorable quote from that section: “I turned my shame into vulnerability.” Finally, we touch on porn in this episode, and the other podcast episode I reference is: DM 112: How this man overcame porn addiction (If you've felt a little iffy about your relationship with pornography, give that one a listen, as well. You may find it illuminating.) Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love working with men who are ready to do the work! If you're committed to breaking old patterns and transforming your sex & love life in a real and lasting way, take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
Jun 30, 2023 · 1 hr 10 min
263: 5 ways to polarize a powerful woman (ft. Jason Lange)
Has your woman ever been in her masculine, and you wished she was in her feminine? Here's something that doesn't work: "Hey, could you drop into your feminine already?" ;) So how do you polarize your woman well? Polarity is one of those mysteries in life like electricity: We don't fully grasp why it works, but we can harness its power to make our lives better. I love polarity work because it can make a concrete difference in sex, love, dating, and relationships. I've seen countless clients ditch old dating advice, learn about this, and then say, "Wow, this polarity thing really works on a date." Or, "Man, I wish I'd known about polarity sooner ... my marriage might have gone differently." The fact is, no one teaches us about dating and sexuality and HOW to connect well. Most men don't learn how to flirt with girls, how to polarize a partner, or even what polarity is. Yet it's a fundamental relationship dynamic that can help with everything. Here we lay out five practical ways to polarize a woman partner into her feminine, helping her to drop into her heart and soften. If you've ever wondered why certain evenings with your wife or girlfriend were magical, while others felt like pulling teeth, this may help. And if you're a man who has sex with women and you want to help your woman soften, receive more of your love, and relax into even deeper levels of trust, this one is for you. Quick note: We talk about this on the podcast and wanted to include it here: If you suspect your partner may have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) (i.e. nothing you do ever seems to make a difference with her), polarity work won't cut it. You may also want to listen to our episode on that subject: 128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder. --- Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love working with men who are ready to do the work! If you're committed to breaking old patterns and transforming your sex & love life in a real and lasting way, take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
Jun 23, 2023 · 1 hr 5 min
262: Are you lonely? (ft. Jason Lange)
Ever have trouble concentrating, or beat yourself up for not getting more done? Do you give yourself a hard time for watching porn & masturbating? Wonder why you just can't kick that habit you know is unhealthy (smoking weed, playing video games, drinking alcohol, etc.)? All of this is related to loneliness. Whether you live alone and work from home, are single and dating and longing for relationship, are divorced and missing what you used to have, or are in a relationship but often feel distant from your wife/partner ... life can be lonely. And according to the US Surgeon General, "Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation has been an underappreciated public health crisis that has harmed individual and societal health." We tend to think of feeling lonely as not that big a deal, but that couldn't be further from the truth. According to Psychology Today, "[c]lose relationships with other people have more of an impact on our physical health and longevity than even our genes do." The other wrinkle here is that loneliness and social isolation tend to hit men harder. A full 15% of modern men report having no close friendships or relationships at all, and 44% of men 18 and up say they feel lonely all the time (that stat still blows my mind. I want to give everyone a hug). So what do you do about it? How do you get more connected and start to feel more of a sense of belonging? Here, we delve into what it actually means to be lonely, as well as how to start to get more connection in your life on a regular basis. We share our personal experience of loneliness, as well as three concrete suggestions for how to get more connected. We also talk about how meaningful connection is not just about being around other people; it’s about feeling safe to be your full, true, authentic self. To feel fully seen. Because when we feel fully seen, we feel fully alive. --- Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love working with men who are ready to do the work! If you're committed to breaking old patterns and transforming your sex & love life in a real and lasting way, take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
Jun 16, 2023 · 1 hr 7 min
261: If I'm having doubts, does that mean she's not The One? (ft. Jason Lange)
"I just can't make up my mind. Sometimes I feel like I'm settling, and that makes me sad. Sometimes I feel blessed to have someone as amazing as this woman who wants to be with me. The question I have is, if I'm having doubts or feelings that I might be settling, does that mean she's not The One? Or is it normal to have these feelings sometimes?" If you've ever wondered whether you're in the right relationship or should seek something better, you're not alone! Dating is, in part, about figuring out whether you're with the right partner. But no one teaches us how to know whether it's right, especially if you sometimes have doubts. Short story? Doubts don't mean everything, and they don't mean nothing. ;) Here, we delve into the fundamentals of "relationship ambivalence," anxious/avoidant attachment and how it relates to this, how porn can affect how you feel about your relationship, and what to truly look for when determining whether partner is the right one for you to build a happy, safe, healthy relationship with. Mentioned on this episode: Episode 128: Are you with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder? Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love working with men who are ready to do the work! If you're committed to breaking old patterns and transforming your sex & love life in a real and lasting way, take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
Jun 9, 2023 · 51 min
260: How do you make consent sexy? An adult film actress shares! (ft. Tasha Reign)
A lot of the men we work with don't want to be That Guy. The guy who's creepy or pervy or weird. The guy who makes women feel unsafe, whether on a date or in a relationship. But how do you figure out how to get consent while still maintaining your masculine core? Is it uncool to ask for permission to kiss her? (Spoiler alert: No.) And how does consent work on a porn set? Porn stars still need to navigate the world of what's going to feel good for someone and what's not, and as it turns out, a lot of the process actually goes on off-camera! Here, we delve into the wild and wondrous world of consent, as outlined by top adult film actress, author, and consent advocate Tasha Reign. If you've ever wanted to know what the differences are between porn sex and real-life sex, give this a listen! Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love working with men who are ready to do the work! If you're committed to breaking old patterns and transforming your sex & love life in a real and lasting way, take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
Jun 2, 2023 · 1 hr 2 min
259: Want her to feel safe with you, and free to be vulnerable? Learn to do this. (ft. Jason Lange)
All of the men we work with, whether married, dating, or single, want women to feel safe with them. It's important to them that women trust them -- that women feel secure around them (even if that's "just" on a dating app). And women don't tend to feel deeply safe unless they feel claimed. In one woman's words: “When a man doesn’t claim me, I feel anxious and stressed and find myself not wanting to be vulnerable." Another said, "When a man doesn't claim me it feels confusing... like, 'Huh?' I'm like, 'Wtf is happening?' I feel anxious and unsettled, and I don't want to open up and be vulnerable. I feel wary and the need to be hypervigilant." Claiming doesn't mean dominating. It's not about overpowering. Here, we go into depth around what claiming is and isn't, and how you can do it well. The good news? When you know how to claim well, your dating and sex life will improve. Your current relationship will get hotter and smoother. If you're a man who wants women to feel safe with you, this is one to listen to. Memorable quotes from this episode: "When I feel claimed I feel safe and held. It makes me trust him and his leadership / guidance / direction." "I can surrender and experience joy and be playful. I'm more willing to come along for the ride without having to worry about all the nitty-gritty details, like whether or not I'll be protected." "I'd follow him anywhere." Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love working with men who are ready to do the work! If you're committed to breaking old patterns and transforming your sex & love life in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
May 26, 2023 · 31 min
258: Should you wait to get into a relationship in order to work on your stuff? & other popular questions (ft. me!)
Relate to any of the following dating and relationship questions? In dating, I tend to get attached/excited about someone fast, and then really disappointed when it doesn’t work out. How do I lessen the intensity of this? (This includes if you've just been messaging with someone on a dating app like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OKCupid, etc. and you thought it'd go somewhere but then it didn't) I brought something to a woman that I thought she'd appreciate, and she didn’t respond. Did I do something wrong? Should I wait to get into a relationship in order to work on my stuff? (Similar to, "How do I know when I'm ready to get into a relationship/start dating again?") How do I ‘not take the bait,’ as in get reactive, when someone is baiting me (like my girlfriend or wife)? Here, I answer all of these questions, which includes exploring what to do when you feel let down around something in sex, dating or relationships; how to know when it's time to work on yourself and not date (take a break from dating) vs. work on yourself while in a relationship; and what to do when you're in the middle of a fight with your partner and want to slow things down. Learning and growing is a brave act. It's also one of the best investments you can possibly make in your own future. I also believe that every time you grow and expand beyond your family of origin, you're contributing to the good of the species. So good on you! Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love working with men who are ready to do the work! If you want to break old patterns and transform your sex & love life in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
May 19, 2023 · 1 hr
257: Porn sex vs. real-life sex: a woman porn director lays it out (ft. Holly Randall) [replay]
If you've ever been concerned about erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and looked at male-bodied porn stars with envy, here's a fun fact: Close to 100% of male-bodied porn stars use Viagra/Cialis/other sexual performance enhancement drugs in order to perform on set. That's not the only thing that might surprise you about sex, love, dating, and the behind-the-scenes truth about pornography. Here, porn director Holly Randall outlines some of the differences between the sex shown in porn versus real sex, and we also get into what the sex lives of porn stars are really like. Other topics include how to relax about penis size (this part is very interesting), things you might not have known about anal sex, and more. Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love to work with men who are ready to do the work! If something isn't working in your sex or love life and you want to break old patterns and transform in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
May 12, 2023 · 59 min
256: How do you support her when she’s having a hard time (and also get your needs met)? (ft. Violet Lange)
When a woman is going through a tough time (especially for an extended period of time), it can be easy to fall into a codependent dynamic. When she relies heavily on you to help her feel better, this can be taxing on your nervous system. And nobody wants codependence! How do you stay steady when things like financial stress, fertility issues, job concerns, or hard family dynamics cause a wife, girlfriend, or other woman partner to turn to you more than ever? Here we talk about what it means to be emotionally regulated vs/ dysregulated, and concrete ways to feel better and manage stress in a healthy, generative fashion. We outline how a woman (or any dysregulated partner) can soothe herself, as well as strategies you can use to support her through a difficult time. If you've ever felt unsure about how to soothe a woman partner or challenged by feeling the need to hold space repeatedly for something neither she nor you have control over (i.e. her getting laid off, or interacting with a frustrating/difficult relative, etc.), you'll appreciate this one. Mentioned on this episode: Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) (https://youtu.be/FeUioDuJjFI) Network Spinal Analysis (https://tinyurl.com/3assne6v) Violet's site: (https://violetlange.com/) Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love to work with men who are ready to do the work! If something isn't working in your sex or love life and you want to break old patterns and transform in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
May 5, 2023 · 58 min
255: GuyTalk: Fun with cunnilingus! 3 men share their experience of going down on women
Oral sex can be super hot. In fact, some people consider it even more intimate than intercourse. As one writer put it, "Sexual intercourse is mostly selfish. Sure, you want the other person to get off, but your own orgasm is your first priority. But giving head is, at the core, a selfless act." Speaking of orgasm, 70%+ of women who have sex with men don't tend to cum through intercourse ... but many can if you go down on them! Yep, going down on her can be super important in some cases, since it can be a reliable way to help your woman partner to get off. Whether you're dating women or you're in a long-term relationship like a marriage, oral can be a delightful part of your sexual repertoire. But how do you navigate it and make sure it's good for all involved? What, for example, do you do if a woman is actually uncomfortable receiving oral sex (and if that woman is your wife)? Here, we delve into all that and more -- the good, the bad the ugly -- of going downtown. --- Mentioned on this episode: The GirlTalk episode on how to go down on a woman (episode 152) The course based on my sex research: Please Her In Bed Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love to work with men who are ready to do the work! If something isn't working in your sex or love life and you want to transform it, break old patterns, and move forward in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here.
Apr 28, 2023 · 59 min
254: The 3 common traps conscious couples fall into (and how to avoid them!) (ft. Allana Pratt)
Let's say you're doing the work, and meet someone else who's doing the work. Now you're in a conscious relationship! Mazel tov! Now what do you need to know about sex, love, relating, and how it all connects? When you've got two people who are growing, you've got tremendous potential. You've also got some other stuff. ;) Allana has 20 years of helping both singles and couples with sex, love, and relationships, so she's able to speak to the larger patterns that emerge in the work. According to her, "most intimacy struggles boil down to a few common blindspots that once healed, allow vulnerable, authentic relationships to thrive." Want to know what the top 3 blindspots are, and how to address them? Listen on! Memorable quotes from this episode: "I played the Wall Street wife and lost myself." "There's a gift in every crisis." "The main tipping point was when my son came and said, 'I know what I’m doing.'" "I believe the universe is on our side." "Tell me something about you and oral sex…" Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love to work with men who are ready to do the work! If something isn't working in your sex or love life and you want to transform it, break old patterns, and move forward in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here.
Apr 21, 2023 · 1 hr 15 min
253: Can you address erectile dysfunction with a science-based sex toy? Turns out yes. (ft. Dr. Soum of MysteryVibe)
Sex is part of life, and major life events affect our sex lives. Here are just a few things you might've wondered about in the course of your own sex life: How do I overcome erectile dysfunction without drugs? (like Viagra or Cialis) What do I do if she's less into sex than me? (a difference in libido, which sometimes involves an arousal disorder) My wife had a baby and now intercourse hurts. Are we ever going to have great sex again?? What if my woman partner has dryness or pain during sex, especially post-menopause? How can I help? Enter Dr. Soum, founder of science-based sex tech company MysteryVibe. "Childbirth, menopause, recovering from cancer or surgery — in all of these cases, your sex life is affected, and the mystery leaves the bedroom," he says. But it can come back, people. As one happy couple in their 70s said of using one of their products, "We’ve been married for 30 years and we feel like we’re back in our honeymoon." Look, the truth is that human bodies are both complicated and simple at the same time. A lot of women contend with anorgasmia, for example, which is just a big word for the inability to orgasm. But this doesn't have to be a forever state of being. It's totally addressable, as is pain after childbirth. This is especially reassuring given that a whopping 86% of moms have pelvic/vaginal pain, and 50% still have it after 2 years. None of this has to stay your reality. Pelvic floors are resilient, and so are people. Listen for some serious knowledge-dropping, and sweet inspiration. Memorable quotes from this episode: "I love the intersection of humanness and electronics." "More and more people are talking about and working on menopause." "Orgasms improve your mental health." “In most cases, premium sex toys are bought by men for women.” "If you make intimacy the only goal, then bringing about change is very easy." --- To get your hands on the sex toys in question: mysteryvibe.com The Women's Health article : This is the One Vibrator That Brought Back My Sex Drive While I Was Taking Antidepressants --- Ready to go beyond the podcast and take action to transform your sex, dating, and relationship life? Just go to melaniecurtin.com/action and take the leap. We've got you.
Apr 14, 2023 · 1 hr 7 min
252: How to date & have connected sex with a trauma background (ft. Michael Unbroken)
Trauma recovery might not seem like the sexiest topic, but you guys, it is. When it comes to to having healthy, passionate, connected sex, dating, and love relationships, it's everything! You may have become aware (through, perhaps, this podcast) that you've likely got some childhood neglect or other kind of trauma background, and you may be wondering whether that's ever resolvable. The answer is YES. Even if you've been through the wringer. Which Michael Unbroken has. A survivor of poverty, child sexual abuse, domestic violence, and a whole lot more, he has serious legs to stand on when it comes to overcoming adversity. Now an expert on complex PTSD (cPTSD) and a life coach for trauma survivors, he asserts that: "The number one shift you can make in your healing journey is asking for help and getting the support that you need and deserve to break free of generational curses, childhood trauma, and the pain of the past." Amen. If you or someone you've dated has a trauma background, this is one you'll want to listen to. Memorable quotes from this episode: “You’re better off going in the wrong direction than no direction at all.” "Fear is the very thing that both keeps us safe and keeps us stuck. That’s a hard thing to reconcile." "Dating can be like warfare." "Go to professionals." "I absolutely love my life now." --- The ACE survey mentioned on this episode (based on the Adverse Childhood Experiences study) Michael's site: https://www.thinkunbroken.com/ Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love to work with men who are ready to do the work! If something isn't working in your sex or love life and you want to transform it, break old patterns, and move forward in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here.
Apr 7, 2023 · 1 hr 1 min
251: Dating lessons from a dating show host! (ft. Alli Goldberg)
"I'm a comedian, and now I’m an accidental matchmaker!" So says Alli, self-proclaimed theater geek and creator of Love Isn’t Blind — a new dating show where 4 men compete for 1 woman, and the men can’t speak. She's also the creator of the dating show where celebrities read your breakup texts. What's especially interesting is that as someone reading hundreds of applications to her dating show, Alli has a fascinating breadth of experience when it comes to what men are looking for in women, and vice versa. As she says, "When you ask people what they want in a partner, it's revealing to hear what they lead with." Here we talk about sex, dating, relationships, being a wingwoman or wingman (hint: if you're in a relationship, your job isn't over! Help out a shy or introverted person and you'll feel great about yourself). We also discuss how hot men are who are openminded, working on themselves and "secretly in men's groups." ;) You'll want to listen to this fun and lively one! Memorable quotes from this episode: "In a post-pandemic world, there's a strong desire and real need for people to meet in person." "Looks are a weird thing." "There's a certain freedom men feel to talk to me about dating when I’m not on a date with them." "We’re all making the same mistakes!" "I wanted something that would get people rowdy and meeting each other." Mentioned on this episode: allisongoldberg.com howtobreakupbytext.com loveisntblind.co (Love Isn't Blind happens live ever first Friday in LA, and Alli is also launching a tour soon, so if you're interested in being kept up to date, sign up for her newsletter.)
Mar 31, 2023 · 1 hr 18 min
250: How do you re-polarize a relationship (bring back the spark)? ft. Jason Lange
One of the most inspiring things we've seen in our work with men is the rejuvenation of relationships. We've seen clients in long-term, committed relationships that felt flat, off, or just not exciting ... become vibrant and vivid again. We've seen couples get hot sex back! (often better than ever). We've seen closeness and intimacy be reestablished, often more intensely than had ever been true before. But before this renewal period, there was suffering. Often in the form of reverse polarity. Especially if you identify as a Nice Guy, you may have experienced reverse polarity in relationship -- where she's more in her masculine, and he's more in his feminine. This can be a painful place to be. Both people suffer. And the path back is not necessarily what you'd think. For example, men say, "I’ve been doing everything to please my partner, and it just seems to make it worse ... " because as it turns out, pleasing and appeasing her doesn't actually generate polarity. Or they say, "It's not exactly that there's something wrong, but we're not having sex. We watch movies, we go on walks, we get along ... but we don't have that spark." Here we talk about polarity, what it looks like when it's going well, what it looks like when it's not, and how to regenerate it when it's lost. Whether you're in a dating relationship or married, if you've ever experienced losing that erotic charge in your relationship and you didn't know how to get it back, this is one to listen to. Memorable quotes from this episode: "I wanted to do the right thing in my relationship, but I didn't know how. I was close to giving up. Shutting down. Pulling away." "Those feelings, that desire ... there’s something enlivening when we feel our partner wanting us." "We are slowly becoming the couple we dreamed about when we were dating." Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love to work with men who are ready to do the work! If something isn't working in your sex or love life and you want to transform it, break old patterns, and move forward in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here.
Mar 24, 2023 · 1 hr 18 min
249: Feel like you can never get it right with her? This relationship pattern could be behind it (ft. Jason Lange)
Ever experienced the relationship pattern where she essentially says, "I was hurt by this thing you did," or, "I need you to love me better/differently" — and then you feel like you've failed, pull away, and maybe even have the desire to just stop trying altogether? Whether you're in a dating relationship or a long-term, committed relationship like a marriage, this is a very common relationship pattern. It can be easy for women to be critical or share feedback in ways that are not at all constructive (sometimes even bullying). And it can be easy for a man, when he feels he has let down/disappointed his partner, to get defensive or withdraw (or both), which can trigger even more upset. This, then, can affect your sex life as well as your emotional intimacy. How do two people meet in the middle here? How does she soften and share feedback in an openhearted way, and how does he receive it without collapsing and/or entering into a shame spiral? The good news is that it is possible to grow here, and for both partners to meet each other in the middle. Memorable quotes from this episode: "Hearing that nothing was ever good enough for her made me withdrawal into passivity and inaction. Why do anything for her when I’m always going to be shot down for trying?" "One of the masculine’s main fears: We can’t provide enough, we’re not emotional enough, we’re not communicating enough … we’re not enough." "I felt deeply met by him when he did that ... it was the first time I'd ever felt fully expressed that way with a man." Mentioned on this episode: Dear Men episode 128: Recognizing the signs of Borderline Personality Disorder Ready to go beyond the podcast? We love to work with men who are ready to do the work! If something isn't working in your sex or love life and you want to transform it, break old patterns, and move forward in a real and lasting way, we can help. Take action here.
Mar 17, 2023 · 1 hr 2 min
248: Hot sexting! How & when to sext, and more on sexual communication (ft. Dr. Tara)
Curious about sexting, or how to bring it up/do it in the context of a new dating relationship? Maybe it's an edge you'd like to push, or maybe you're not even sure what it really is. (Hint: it can also spice up your marriage/long-term committed relationship.) Dr. Tara grew up in sexually conservative Thailand, and went through her own sexual awakening over the course of years. Here we cover her fun, sexy journey from Catholic schoolgirl to full-on, liberated tenured professor of sexual communication -- not to mention her happy relationship to her current husband. We also talk about trust and safety in relationship, the 3 questions to include in a "sexual check-in" in a relationship, how a sex store in LA changed Dr. Tara's life, and how to be hot instead of creepy when it comes to dick pics. Memorable quotes from this episode: “I married a resume husband that I never had sexual chemistry with.” “Shock and awe — there are so many cock sizes!?” “I didn’t have enough sexual self-esteem to pursue what was right for me.” “One of the best ways to help women feel more sexually empowered is to encourage self-pleasure.” --- Mentioned on this episode: Dr. Tara's site Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori Brotto 5-minute sexual meditation on YouTube
Mar 10, 2023 · 1 hr 19 min
247: GirlTalk: Dating apps! What's it like being a woman on them? [Replay]
Real talk: Dating can be hard! So many of us long to connect with one another, but the process can feel ... challenging. Whether you're contending with approach anxiety, not knowing what to text or when to call, when to ask her on an actual date (should you get to know her first via the text thread?), or how to gracefully handle rejection or ghosting ... it's a lot. And straight men on dating apps also have to contend with the fact that they tend to get far fewer messages and responses and attention overall than women. It can be painful. We want to make it easier and smoother! There's a lot out there for men about what not to do, but what about what to do when it comes to the dating apps, sex, and building a relationship? Here, we go over how we love to be approached on the apps, with real examples of men who've done it well. Yes, it can be done — and it may be easier than you think. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be a woman on Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Coffee Meets Bagel, Match, eHarmony, or any of the other dating apps, check this one out.
Mar 3, 2023 · 1 hr 1 min
246: Getting to peak masculine vitality (ft. Michael Holt)
Ever feel like you're dragging? Like you don't have enough energy to do all the things you want to do, or just wish you had more oomph in general? The fact is, when you're healthy and vital, you're more attractive. You also want to have sex more (your libido goes up). You're more likely to go for what you want in dating. And you show up as the best version of yourself in long-term, committed relationships like marriages. You inspire those around you. You've got what you need to go after your goals. Martial artist and masculine vitality expert Michael Holt has a lived experience of feeling energetically depleted and emotionally down. Yet he turned things around and now helps other men do the same. There are both physical as well as emotional landscapes involved in boosting your energy. The good news? You can be more vital, strong, healthy, and alive than you ever have been -- no matter how old you are. Memorable quotes from this episode: “The primary regulation strategy in this culture is distraction.” “Why am I in the desert with a bunch of damn hippies? Oh my God, have I become a hippie?” “The highest act of service is healing yourself.” Michael's IG: @savageandsaint
Feb 24, 2023 · 1 hr 11 min
245: What's it like to be swingers? (ft. John & Jackie Melfi)
How do you know if monogamy is right for you? Ever been curious about what it would actually be like to be a swinger, or date other people while still being in a healthy marriage? Jackie was actually married twice, in two traditional, monogamous relationships (with kids), before she connected with John — or, in fact, reconnected with him, since they actually went to high school together. By that point, John was running several clubs for swingers, and Jackie was curious to hear more. She went on a deep dive in researching monogamy, ethical non-monogamy (open relationships), how people "do" swinging and/or other sexual exploration in a way that feels authentic and true to them, and more. The two then built a beautiful relationship based on openness, trust, and true vulnerability. If you've ever wondered how exactly it "works" in a relationship that's more open, where you can play with other people (i.e. have full-on sex or just to be sexual some way), listen to this. According to Jackie and John, it can actually bring you closer, with tremendous personal growth. In particular, when you don't have to cut off that part of you that engages with the spark of life, things get fun and fiery. Flirting, ethical non-monogamy, jealousy, fulfillment, love, and healthy relationships can all coexist, and bring even more joy and magic into your world. Notable quotes from this episode: “I assumed that once I got married, my partner and I would be 100% satisfied.” “Monogamy never really felt like ‘me.’” “If you’re able to walk through your fear you become a stronger person — more whole.” “One of the greatest gifts was it allowed me to get in touch with how I viewed myself, how I can grow, how I can feel confident in my relationship.” “We’re very conscious of what we do in our relationship. We want both of us to be operating from the best place.”