266. The Check-In Questions I Swear By + Tips For Starting

Communication is the most important thing in a relationship, but no one tells you what good communication actually looks like in practice. In this episode, I'm getting into relationship check-ins: the structured conversations my husband, Johnny, and I have had about 70 times over three years, and the single biggest reason our day-to-day relationship is virtually tension-free. I'm walking you through the exact questions we use (based on the Gottman State of the Union method, with our own additions), how check-ins have actually changed our relationship over time, when to start doing them, how to bring it up with your partner without making it weird, what to do if things get heated, and the most common mistakes people make. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about whether to give a great connection another shot after months apart.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• My original episode on check-ins (ep 14)
• The Gottman State Of The Union check-in format
• My post on other check-in formats
• Free dating guides: datingintentionally.com/gift
• My episode with Zach Brittle on repair vs resolve

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