Dating Intentionally

285. Why You Lose Yourself When You Start Dating Someone w/ Chris Rackliffe

Friday · 58 min · 56.4 MB
0:00-58:43

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Do you tend to go all in when you like someone, to the point where you've lost touch with your own life a bit? I'm chatting with Chris Rackliffe, an anxious attachment coach and author of Needy No More: The Journey from Anxious to Secure Attachment, who's helped thousands of people heal from patterns of trauma, abandonment, and codependency. We're getting into why we lose ourselves in dating and what to do about it.

We cover:

  • The earliest signs you're starting to abandon yourself when you meet someone new
  • Why resentment is the clearest signal a compromise has tipped into self-betrayal
  • Chris's framework for codependency
  • Why guilt is proportional to how long you've been overriding your own needs
  • His concept of emotional diversification, and why spreading out your sources of connection is a protective strategy, not just something nice to have
  • How to apply this whether you're in early dating or an established relationship
  • Whether opposite sleep schedules are actually a dealbreaker

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether opposite sleep schedules are a dealbreaker.


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